Cursed
by lossehelin
Summary: For a thousand years the village has known of the beast living in the old palace. A beast said to live on human blood. One father knows the truth, and is now bound by word to return a favor he has ignored for thirteen years.
1. Rumors and Bad Karma

I realize that this idea has been overused, but I wanted to take my own crack at it. I actually only started thinking about it after stumbling upon an old story that I had written in seventh grade… which was like ages ago. XD Consequently that story was based off of the Rapunzel plot line, and our English teacher wanted us to come up with something original. Well… lets just say mine sucked. Pretty damn bad. And I've always been rather embarrassed about it. However, the story of Beauty and the Beast has always fascinated me, and though, like I have said, it has already been used with our characters filling in, (and I must put in that the one that I did find was outstandingly amazing, and I wish they would finish it already), I wanted to try. Maybe because I wanted to see if I could do any better than my last attempt. Hope you won't hate me for it.

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. But I thought it might be fun anyway.

**Chapter 1: Rumors and Bad Karma**

As a child of the village one would hear many tales of the palace on the mountain. All engineered to keep youngsters away from the forests surrounding it and in their beds at night. For it was said that the beast who lived there thrived off of human flesh and blood, the best of delicacies being the small, tender morsels of helpless children. In consequence, as adults of the village many feared and hated the palace, their dark eyes wary and full of disdain as they looked up at the peaks barely visible through the dense foliage.

Centuries had passed since that time, however, and the stories soon lost their potency, turning legend into myth. There was still no small amount of mystery about the deserted palace on the mountain, and no one ventured nearer to it than necessary. However, the children that now grew up listening to the horror stories looked to it as more of a challenge than a threat. Who could sneak out of their beds at night without getting caught by the creature? Who dared to venture the closest to its palace walls? There was still fear, but it was more adrenaline than actual fright.

At least, until one of the children went missing.

Though no one seemed to want to talk about that mystery, and it seemed to Kaoru that after thirteen years someone would feel the need to look into it. At least they should want to figure out what had gone wrong and keep anyone else from making the same mistake. _Bad Karma. That's what it is._

Walking happily down the main street through town, Kaoru waved at a few of the people she passed, and traded greetings with a couple. She did not notice the looks she garnered from others, or the slight fear and distrust in their dark irises. Her sapphire eyes were focused only on the road ahead. She never thought to look back.

Walking through the market area she stopped at several of the smaller stalls, eyeing the merchandise critically and trading questions with the merchants. She had to watch her purse here. Since it was so light to begin with she did not need the added prices some of the vendors liked to tack on. Loading down the basket in her arms with fresh fish and enough rice to last a few days, she circled her way around to the far side. Delicately picking through a few of the smaller spice bottles with the last of her coins, she made sure they were packed in tightly before heading back out of town. Smiling at a few of the sour looks on the merchants as they waved her off, she knew she had talked them down further than they would have liked. _Ah well… you think they would know better by now._

Calling a greeting as she reentered her home, she smiled when her father answered back. Living where they were, on the outskirts of the woods, they were further than any other house from the town. It was the perfect atmosphere for her father to practice his sword art and train his only child. Unfortunately, it wasn't that great for their small dojo and they were both beginning to feel the strain. As it was her father would be leaving the next day to travel across the mountain. They were both hoping his trip would bring them new students. If not, they would starve by next spring.

Kaoru sighed as she unpacked their meager supplies, wishing in her heart that there was some way for her to help her father. Her presence, however, only seemed to burden him as she found it difficult to perform daily tasks as easily as other women did. Being raised by a man, she felt, really should not have mattered as her father could cook well enough and even sew if the situation called for it. _More bad karma._ Sticking her tongue out, Kaoru huffed at her lack of feminine charms. She was more of a boy than most of the boys were.

"How was your trip into town, Kaoru-chan?"

"Quick and clean." Turning a smile on her father as he entered the room, Kaoru watched his dark eyes twinkle at her orneriness.

"You weren't too hard on them, I hope."

"Only as much as I had to be, Father."

"Where did you get this?" Lifting one of the small bottles of spices to eye level, Koshijirou held it up for Kaoru's perusal.

"Oh, they finally got some back in at the stand. I knew it was your favorite so I couldn't pass it up. Don't worry, I talked him down to a fair price."

"Aijou, you were supposed to buy that new hair ribbon with our extra money."

Shrugging her shoulders, Kaoru turned her back to him and carefully stored away the fish. "I don't really need a new hair ribbon, Father. It was just a silly want."

"We don't really need this bottle of spice either." Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, Koshijirou sighed, reaching over her to carefully place the small glass container on a high shelf. "Kaoru… I am here to take care of you. If there will be any sacrifices in this house they will be made by me."

"But, Father…" Lip trembling, Kaoru cleared her throat to still it and smiled when she looked up at him. "We do need that spice of yours. All the food is tasteless without it."

Bursting into abrupt laughter, Koshijirou took the rice and moved away from her to put it up as well. "How nice of you to say, Aijou. If only I were to be complimented in such ways on a daily basis I'm sure my skills would improve."

"What skills? You're barely better than me!"

More laughter filled the kitchen and the day progressed happily.

Night brought silence with her slumber, however, and Koshijirou was left with his own thoughts and memories.

Kaoru had always been a beautiful and happy child, but as her father he could only teach her so much and in consequence she was now minus much of the expertise a wife would be wanting to run a household. Her mother, his lovely, delicate wife, had died twelve years before when Kaoru was only five and no other woman was present to educate her in womanly arts. So Koshijirou had done the only thing left for him to do; he'd raised her the best he could.

Though at times he felt selfish and ashamed of himself, he was almost relieved that his daughter had attracted no suitors. She was all that he had left in the world and it frightened him to think of someone taking her away. At first, when she had begun to develop into womanhood he'd contented himself with the thought of her husband moving in with them. It was a nicer image than a stranger from another village taking her away across the mountain. As the years passed, however, he began to worry more for her loneliness than his own.

No one in their village liked Kaoru much. It was sad to see their hate-filled and distrustful eyes turned on his sweet and innocent daughter, but he knew what was driving their feelings and why nothing would ever change them. They did not understand her awkward ways, and the many whispers floating around the town only added to her oddity. The rumors kept the suitors away even better than her tomboyish nature.

Koshijirou walked to the edge of the engawa, his blue eyes staring up at the full moon. Long moments later they tracked their way down to the mountain and the dark outline of the palace roofs in the distance. A lone wolf howled somewhere out in the forest, quieting abruptly as something large and dark took flight. It circled once in the sky high above before disappearing over the peak of the mountain.

It was an ominous sign.

X

"I shall be back in a fortnight, aijou. I want you to stay close to the house while I'm away." Koshijirou shouldered the straps of his light travel bag and adjusted the katana at his hip distractedly as he looked out through the trees.

"Father, I'm not a child anymore." Blue eyes rolled, feeling that overbearing protectiveness all fathers show towards their daughters.

"That won't stop a wolf from attacking you. They will take down full grown men if they have the inclination." Anxious, his gaze searched the surrounding bushes. "Besides, not all stories are myth, aijou." Whispering the words, he missed her frown as his sight caught and stayed with a darker patch of shadow deep within the forest. It was too far away for him to see much detail, but he could have sworn it moved not a second before his head turned to look.

"You're starting to sound as bad as the town folk. Really, that palace is over a thousand years old. The last lord that lived there died in a war, and his family more than likely perished with him. It's just a run down mausoleum in an inconvenient spot. That's why no one goes near it."

"No. No." Waving a hand dismissively, he stepped closer to the tree line. "A mausoleum it certainly is not. And do not say such things, Kaoru. You tempt fate with your confidence of knowledge you do not have."

"What does fate have to do with anything?" Crossing her arms, Kaoru twisted her lips.

"More than you know." Whispering again, he shuddered as the shadows, so still and quiet as he stood before the entrance of the forest, purposefully, meaningfully, stepped briefly into the light and disappeared. "Perhaps I shouldn't go."

"What?"

"I do not feel right leaving you here by yourself. I don't believe I'll go." Voice trembling, he came back to the engawa while looking over his shoulder nervously.

"But Father! If you wait much longer it will begin to snow on the mountain and you won't be able to make the trip! Delay means death by starvation!" Shoving his shoulder, she huffed angrily. "Are you going to let some fairy tale scare you from making a living? Really, are you a man or aren't you!?" He wasn't paying her any attention, and she reared back an arm and smacked him across the back of the head. "Dammit, if you won't go then I will! Give me the pack! You big wuss!"

Blue irises not unlike hers widened in alarm and he backed away from her grasping hands. "Absolutely not! You will not step one foot inside that forest! I forbid it!"

"Then pull yourself together! You're acting like a ninny!"

Frowning, he stared back at his daughter as she glared at him, then sighed, his head hanging. "I know that you are right, Kaoru… but…" _I have this awful feeling… that if I go… I will lose you to something I cannot protect you from._

"But nothing, old man. Get your lazy, chicken butt moving and remember not to take no for an answer. We need some boarders or we're going to be eating nuts from the trees like squirrels."

Laughing airily, he reluctantly agreed. "I know, aijou. I promised your mother I would keep you safe and healthy. I cannot do that without income." Looking her over slowly, a sad ache of pain bloomed inside his chest as he could clearly see for a moment the gentle beauty of his wife reflected in her features. A part of him knew his fate was to have them both taken away. He was only hoping it was much later than sooner. "Please, little one, do not go into the forest. Do not leave the house after dark. Most of all, don't… I beg you, don't even look at the mountain."

Wondering what had possessed him to act this strangely, Kaoru was partially inclined to throw off his requests as paranoia. For a moment her eyebrow lifted, ready to call his bluff and tease him for his crazy imaginings, but there was an odd light in his eyes. He truly believed something bad could, or even would happen if she was to do what he asked her not to. "Alright, Father." Smiling though she was uncertain, she leaned forward and abruptly hugged him tight like she had as a child in his arms. "Be safe yourself, okay? I'll be waiting for you to come home."

"Goodbye, little girl." Holding her back by the shoulders when she pulled away, he smiled like a man who knew he would never be happy again. "Your father loves you very much."

"I love you too, Daddy." Brows drawing together, she encircled one of his wrists with a hand, he's attitude infecting her as he let her grip slide away.

Though the sun was rising high in the sky, flooding their small dojo with light and warmth, Kaoru felt nothing but a chill. No sunbeam penetrated the darkness of the forest, and her father was walking straight through it.

X

That night Kaoru had a dream. There was a tree. A beautiful sakura tree with thousands of tiny pink blossoms that shone and reflected light, almost as if they were made of glass. She wanted to touch one. More than anything in the world, she wanted to feel their texture and cradle one in her palm. So she plucked one, delighted that it was just as soft and smooth as a true petal should be and yet it was heavy like the glass it mimicked. Holding it close to her face she smiled, a shower of more blossoms falling from the limb her own had been taken from. They shattered on the ground in a spray of particles and disintegrated into pink dust. Somehow she was unconcerned with their plight.

The petal made her happy. It was warm in her hand and filled her heart and mind with peace. Carefully she turned it over and over again in her fingers, awed by the prism effect of light it produced. A moment later, though, the light disappeared as a shadow fell over her figure from behind. Turning around quickly, her hand clutching the petal to her chest, she tilted her chin straight up, for the being was much taller than she.

It towered above her, its outline and form blackened by the light behind it. She could see no details, but there were horns upon its head and great black wings sprouting from its back. Surprisingly she was unafraid, though its appearance was alien and she could feel that whatever else this creature was, it was angry with her. Instead she was happy. Glad even to have someone to share her treasure with. Holding out a hand she showed it the sakura blossom she had taken, grinning in anticipation of its reaction. For several long seconds the dark figure did nothing as if undecided before it moved, its actions slow and gentle. Carefully a dark hand engulfed her own, tilting the petal back and forth as it too examined what she had discovered.

"_Can I keep it?"_

Another second of hesitation stalled its movements and then a large hand fell on top of her head, its long fingers curving around her skull easily. Sharp claws scraped gently at the back of her neck and ears and she giggled as the sensation tickled her. Somewhere underneath the dark shadows and concealing gloom the creature finally smiled too.

"_Come along, little one."_

X

Koshijirou looked around him suspiciously, the crackling and sparking fire not enough to penetrate the thickness of the trees. The path around the mountain took him too close to the palace for him to feel comfortable, and the stagnant air of deep wood felt as if he were being transported to a time in the past. Memories he tried to block came rushing back. Words he had sworn to honor haunting him; unfulfilled. Sitting, alone and in the dark, he knew the time to pay old debts was fast approaching.

"That fire won't be enough to keep me away."

Terror, like a baby rabbit cornered by a fox, ricocheted his heart into an unstable rhythm inside his chest. Closing his eyes and swallowing thickly, Koshijirou ducked his head and tried to fight the drowning tide of helplessness.

"I did not figure it would."

A shadow passed in and out of his peripheral vision. Though unafraid of the fire, the other did not seem willing to come any closer.

"You have not honored your promise, sword master. I thought we had made a bargain."

"I had every intention of honoring your request, you must believe me, but… my wife… she died not a year later. Of sickness."

There was a short pause. "That would not have affected our deal."

"You must understand. Kaoru is all that I have left."

"I asked only for one day." Anger was rising in the other's voice, impatient with Koshijirou's unreasonable actions. "One day from dawn to dusk. No longer; no shorter. One day out of each year until her eighteenth birthday. I would not hurt her. Was my request unfair?"

"No… though I have never understood it."

"You do not need to."

Not many things scared Kamiya Koshijirou, but this entity and the loss of his daughter were two of them. Swallowing, he stared at his trembling hands. "My wife told me a story once. Of a young lord and a curse." A sharp hiss warned him not to speak too much. "Ever since that day you brought my child back to me… I knew her story was more truth than I had ever been told."

"Where would your wife have heard such a thing?" There was a dark threat in his voice and for a moment Koshijirou laughed like a man with nothing to lose.

"You are free to ask her if you wish." The laugh was becoming just slightly hysterical, doubling the dojo master over as he clutched his side. Solid footsteps entered the circle of firelight and pointed claws raked across his chest as one hand fisted into his kimono and hefted him from the ground.

"Be smart, samurai. The rest of your life depends upon careful attention to my next words." The air in his lungs froze the frenzied giggles in their tracks as blue eyes met the dark gold gaze of the creature. "For your dishonor to our agreement I have been denied my entire fourteen days. You _will _pay me back for those fourteen days I lost."

"Fourteen days?" Brow twitching on a frown of incomprehension, Koshijirou's voice was breathless with disbelief. "Is that all you require?"

"That is all."

"Then… all you want is to make up for those days she did not come? All you want her for is a fortnight?" Hope lit the dead azure depths of his irises, thinking of how short a time that truly was. He was only going to be gone over the mountain for a fortnight. By the time he got back, she would already be returned as well. Then they could get on with their lives without the cloud of bad karma hovering over the dojo. Perhaps it would end all of their problems. Perhaps one of the boys he brought back with him would even end the loneliness his daughter was facing.

"Is this a suitable deal?"

"Yes. I will need to speak with my daughter, but it is very reasonable of you." The hand in his shirt lowered him to the ground, where Koshijirou stepped back and bowed at the waist. "You are a very generous and forgiving lord. I apologize for my disrespect."

"Then it is agreed. From this day on your daughter will live at the palace with me."

"What?" Jerking his head up, Koshijirou stared at the hard features of the lord, his amber gaze stern and merciless.

"As for the fourteen days you owe me, they will be paid by each day you are allowed to visit her. Whether you decide to use them all at once or dispense them sparingly is your choice. But not one day more will be allowed you for the rest of your life."

"But my lord…"

"You have until the day after tomorrow to bring her to the palace. Each day afterwards that you delay will be subtracted from your due. If you have not come by the end of fourteen days, I will collect her myself." He was already back outside the circle of firelight, leaving the shocked father to digest what had just been taken from him. Speechless and frozen he stared after him, sightless eyes ignoring the crowding darkness.

"One more thing, sword master. Does your daughter remember her visit to my palace?"

"…No… she has forgotten it all." Softly Koshijirou laughed, suddenly fully aware of what it was like to be powerless and empty. "I encouraged her forgetfulness if you would like to punish me for that as well."

"That is unnecessary. I did not wish for her to remember. When you speak to her you will tell her only how she was returned and of the promise you broke. I want you to make her understand that this is all your doing. The fault belongs only to you."

"… A-as you wish."

X

A/N: So I can't believe I'm doing this, but I was bored. I've been wracking my brain the last two days trying to work on MOJ and AML. I've even wrote a bit… but I think it's been so long since I've done anything with them I don't remember the feeling exactly and I'm so afraid of messing them both up after getting as far as I have with them.

Anyway, this has been on my laptop for quite awhile, but today must have been its day, because I sat down and wrote a couple chapters. And since it was the beginning I was having the biggest problem with… now that it's out of the way, I feel more confident about finishing the rest of it. What's funny, is I actually started this before Demon. Now, though, that it is already completed and posted, I feel like I may have stolen a little from this story for it. So I'm trying really hard not to have Kenshin's character from that story reflect onto this one. So if there is anyone that sees a similarity, I'd like to apologize. But I'm trying to make this one seem more like a spoiled and selfish lord than the outcast and unsocial assassin from Demon. Hope it comes across alright.

Well, hope it catches someone's attention, and that you like it if it did. It'll probably be a short story, so don't worry about too many chapters to wait for. Ciao.

Oh, and leave a review to tell me what you thought. Thanks!


	2. Moments in the Past

I do realize that this story is a little choppy. I'm afraid I don't have a beta reader… I do all of my own editing so of course I'm going to miss a lot of things. I'm trying to train myself, though. Sometimes I don't know whether I'm getting better or worse. Right now, my main focus is detail and creativity. I never was very good at grammar and sentence structure, and like my little brother put it… for someone who writes a lot, I speak bad English. lol But here's the next chapter, and I hope you still like the story.

Disclaimer: RK is not mine.

**Chapter 2: Moments in the Past**

Kaoru woke the next morning with a sensation of forgetfulness. She knew she had dreamed but it was far away now, and no matter how hard she reached for it, it scuttled just beyond her hunting fingers.

Though she could remember none of it, she was still experiencing its aftereffects. It had not been the nice dream of flying she sometimes had, or the talking animal ones that made her laugh. This time her dream did not make her smile or wake wishing that she were still asleep. Instead it left her feeling confused and brought back that eerie atmosphere her father had conjured before he had left. In fact, as she lay on her back staring up at the half-gloom of her ceiling, she blamed him for her strange thoughts. Never had she ever believed one word of the stories she'd been told since childhood. For one, if there truly was a beast living in the palace that fed on human blood then how come their village was still alive? How come they were flourishing in its shadow? It was a full weeks journey to any other village, and as the closest, they would be the easiest to prey upon.

Blinking, she sighed and rolled onto her side to pick at the threadbare material of her futon. The dream had been vivid and yet concealing, as if she knew she should be able to remember it clearly and was somehow unable to. She hadn't been scared exactly, she wouldn't even classify the dream as a nightmare, but it unsettled her. It was like hearing a creak from the floorboards from behind, and when inspected, the room is found to be empty.

Stuffing her face full into the pillow, she groaned. She hated this feeling. It was like being a child again. Only one night in the house alone and she was already acting like a scaredy-cat. _Father will be gone for a fortnight, I can't start out like this or I'll be jumping at my own shadow within days._ Groaning again she pushed herself up on her hands and knees, stretching her arms and back muscles as stray hairs from her braid curtained her face and tickled her skin. Something light and metal shifted inside her yukata, brushing at the collar before falling free to yank at her neck, and she smiled at the necklace. It was the only feminine piece of jewelry she owned.

Father had told her it was a gift from her mother. Kaoru herself didn't remember the moment, but it made her happy to look at it. It wasn't gaudy or expensive in appearance, nor even exactly well crafted, but the chain was made up of twisted links of the purest silver. She only knew that because a merchant at the market had once seen it and exclaimed in delight at how beautiful it was. Rare, he had said, though it was a shame that the bauble hanging from it was so poorly constructed and fastened. Kaoru had been offended but had said nothing to the man about his rudeness. In truth, the less worth people thought it was the less likely it was to be stolen.

Kaoru thought the little lone ornament was perfect. From a distance it looked like a plain pink piece of glass, with no shape or meaning. Up close, Kaoru thought it took on the form of a flower petal. Though she didn't know why she should imagine it so, she just liked the idea of it representing a delicate sakura blossom. They were supposed to be lucky, after all, and she wanted that luck to one day help her and her father.

It was attached to the chain by a thin piece of silver wire that bent and wrapped around the glass piece to hold it in place and make sure it did not come loose. Not once did it pierce the glass, nor was there one nick on it from a careless hand. This told Kaoru that whoever had done this was gentle and attentive. The craftsman had cared if something was to happen to it.

For as long as she'd had it she had cherished it just as much, if only to honor that person's compassionate nature.

Sitting back on her haunches the necklace plopped onto her chest, resting warm and delicate on the swell of one breast. It was time to get up and make herself breakfast, if she was hoping to get any food. Then she'd start in on the chores. After lunch it would be straight into her training exercises. Stifling a yawn, she stood to change into her training gear.

It was mid-afternoon and halfway through a difficult kata when she felt the presence of another near the house. There was sound of quiet shuffling to accompany the feeling, and like a cat stalking its prey she snuck to the door of the training hall and peeked around the corner to size up her opponent. Whatever she had expected it had not been her father, his weary form dropping the pack on the engawa as he sat down to untie his sandals.

"Father!" Running out to greet him, she felt worry first and foremost for the look of defeat and failure on his face. "What's wrong? What are you doing back so soon?"

"Never mind that for now." Sadness closed his eyes at the thought. "Come sit here with your father for a few moments while he rests."

Confused, Kaoru sat next to him, leaning into his side when his arm wrapped around her shoulders and squeezed. "But Father… why are you back home?" Head coming to rest on his collarbone, she gasped at the sight of dried blood on his chest. "Daddy, your hurt!" Parting his kimono she frowned at the four scratch marks spearing sideways across his skin. Each one was complemented by a large red welt and thin lines of blood oozing from the broken flesh.

"Were you attacked? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I'm perfectly fine, aijou. It doesn't pain me."

"But did you clean it? You haven't even bandaged it or anything." Standing up quickly, Kaoru darted back into the house. "Wait there. I'll be back with some hot water and bandages."

Sighing, Koshijirou returned his gaze to the mountain, the misery in his heart doubling as each second passed. The sun would be setting all too soon, the days much too short as winter approached. In the morning… he would have to take his daughter away.

"Here, Father, shrug out of your kimono so I can clean that before it gets infected."

_Perhaps an infection would be a blessing._ Doing as she asked, he stared up at the sky over her head. _My heart is already dying… and fourteen days are nothing. Why could I have not just given him those fourteen days to begin with? He didn't hurt her before. What reason did I have to think he would hurt her later?_

_I was being so selfish. I was terrified at the thought of letting her go. After her beautiful mother died… I clung to Kaoru like I was the child. I have been the one needing comfort, and for my self-centeredness she will be paying the price. Fourteen days truly are nothing in comparison to eternity._

"What happened, Father? These look like claw marks."

"I don't think it was intentional, aijou. He was angry at the time."

"Who was angry?" Frowning up at her father, her hand stopped with the bandage cloth pulled tight. "Father, these are not blade marks."

Koshijirou sighed deeply, once again defeated in his wish for a few moments of normalcy with his daughter. She would not leave it alone until he answered her questions, and that meant telling her everything that had and was to happen.

"No, Kaoru-chan, they were not made by a blade… nor even by a man."

"Was it a wolf then? You told me they would attack grown men, but I thought…" Trailing off as he lifted a hand for silence, she felt worry as he shook his head slowly.

"Nor were they made by an animal. Daughter," Grabbing her by both shoulders he gazed seriously into her eyes, watching as she stilled in confused anxiety. "I know that you hold nothing by the stories you have heard from others, and perhaps that is good. This allows you to make your own decisions and conclusions about a situation. I envy this in you, because it was your mother you inherited this from and not myself."

"Dad," Swallowing, Kaoru leaned away from his intently searching eyes, disturbed by the gravity of the situation. "what are you talking about?"

"I told you stories when you were little. Do you remember?" She nodded, looking as if she were not quite sure if she remembered in detail but knowing that he had all the same. "They were the stories I grew up with, the ones that I was told when I was a child of the village. Your mother, she told you different stories. She was a child of another village and she knew things that we do not."

"Are you… talking about the lord of the palace?"

"That's right."

Letting her features drop into disbelief, Kaoru huffed. "Don't be silly, Father. I thought we had already talked about this." Suddenly frowning she stood up to tower over the top of him. "If you're trying to tell me you came back because of some silly superstition I'm going to be mad."

"Aijou, listen to me… it's not superstition."

"Yes it is." Picking up the bowl of water Kaoru stepped up onto the engawa to walk back in the house. "I can't believe you're buying into that crap."

"Do you remember hearing of the disappearance?" Kaoru paused and looked over her shoulder curiously. Nobody talked about the child that had disappeared. "Of the child, thirteen years ago?"

"Of course, but… no one I've asked would tell me anything… and I'm not even sure I believe it was the fault of some demon creature living in that old palace."

"He may not have been the reason the child disappeared, but he does have a lot to do with the story."

"But Father, how do you even know any of it was true? You know how people talk. The truth can't even travel the length of the village without coming out looking like a skeleton."

"You're right, Kaoru, nobody knows the truth about what really happened that day except for four people… and your mother is no longer around. I know the truth, little girl, because I'm your father… and the child that went missing was you." He wouldn't look at her as he said it, his head ducking away from her widening eyes instead.

"Me?"

"Thirteen years ago you disappeared from your bed and was gone all day and well into the night. Naturally your mother and I were distraught, but no one would help us look for you. No one wanted to go into the forest… especially near the palace. So I searched for you alone but I couldn't find you, and by nighttime I was afraid I would have to give up."

By this time Kaoru was sitting next to him again, her face attentive as she hung on every word. "But… I'm here."

"Yes, aijou, you are, and for that I am the most grateful father in the world." He lifted a hand to cup her cheekbone, smiling sadly at her bewilderment.

"What happened? I… I don't remember any of this. How did I get home? Why was I gone?"

"You told me later you wished to go for a walk." Half-chuckling in amusement, he shook his head and looked back to the mountain side. "I was so angry with you I didn't know what to say, but your mother simply told you to ask first next time. She always knew how to handle you better than I. As to what happened… I really couldn't tell you. You must have gotten lost. I'm just grateful you weren't attacked by any wild animals." Trailing off, his eyes stayed fixated forward on the form of the palace nearly lost behind trees.

"Father." Gently calling him back to the present, he sucked in a breath and dropped his head.

"It was late when you… were returned. I remember it clearly, as if it happened only yesterday. Your mother was crying, as only a woman can for their child. I… I could feel nothing. My whole world was numb, and I found myself noticing details that were so insignificant and unimportant. The crickets chirping outside in the grass; the stillness that only night brings; the scent of old wood and moisture; how lonely the old palace looked surrounded by all those dark trees. The more I saw, the more I noticed, the angrier I became. None of this mattered to me. Why should I see any of this when all I wanted was my daughter, safe and back home?" Both hands fisted into his hakama, the knuckles white and trembling as he fought his emotions.

"Daddy?"

"It was with those same heightened senses that I heard the soft sound of feet. There. Right there." One hand loosened long enough to point a few feet in front of them, at the tree line of the forest. "I ran back here, so hopeful and terrified by what I would find that I swore, that no matter how or by who you were returned I would do anything. Anything." Again he shuddered, disturbed by past events, and Kaoru reached out to grab his hand. For some reason she felt he would need this comfort more than she.

"When I rounded the corner of the engawa I couldn't believe my eyes. After all those stories, nothing prepared me for the truth. At first he seemed to be just a man holding your sleeping form, and I was ready to gratefully thank this stranger for returning you. But as he lay you on the engawa I saw the great claws on his hands, the deep red of his skin, and as he stepped back, rocks and stray twigs cracked and ground under his talon-toed feet. I must have made a noise, because he looked at me with sharp eyes. It was dark and I couldn't make out the details of his face. Nothing except his eyes. Those golden eyes… and the horns sprouting from his hair." Gripping her hand tightly, Koshijirou turned at last to look her in the eye.

"Kaoru… for the words I spoke to him, I apologize. They are the reason for both of our misery."

"What…" Kaoru's voice faltered, unable to comprehend all that was being told to her. This man… the story… it was all true? _But that's not right… they said he fed on human children. So why would he bring me back alive?_ "What did you say to him?"

"He was turning to leave just as quickly as he had come, but honor drove me to offer him compensation for your safe return. I had promised myself I would do anything, and if anything meant being in the dept of him… of the palace lord… then so be it. At first he denied wanting anything, but your mother insisted. She was not as afraid of him as I was, you see. Her village grew up on different stories than we did. I was ready to accept his generosity, but she was determined to return it.

"It took him only a few moments, but he… aijou he…" Face crumpling in an appearance of weakness that Kaoru had never seen from her father before, he brought her hand to his forehead to hide his despair. "He wanted only to spend more time with you. One day, he said. One day a year until your eighteenth birthday. On that one day each year he would keep you at the palace. He promised to keep you from harm and return you after dusk. I agreed, though reluctantly. Your mother thought it a wonderful idea." He laughed then, the sound short and watery. "She grew up on such different stories than we."

"But father… I've never… you've never sent me to the palace. I've never gone." Trying to find the loophole, wanting all of it to be untrue, she grasped at the inconsistencies of his story.

"No. You are right, aijou. A few months later your mother died of the sickness, and I… couldn't let you go. And now it is my fault. All my fault."

"What's your fault?" Hesitantly rubbing his shoulder she tried to comfort him, this man who was always so strong and unafraid falling apart before her eyes.

"He came to me… last night as I camped. He wanted to know why you never came. Kaoru… it's been thirteen years and he hasn't changed. He hasn't aged a day!"

"And… what did he want?" It was strange, but after hearing the truth that there truly was a creature living in the palace that resembled a man and didn't age, and that creature had at one time saved her, made her feel calm. It was as if she could not react in the same hysterics her father was now in the grips of, and the worse he became, the calmer she felt.

"He wants his fourteen days." Kaoru opened her mouth to no doubt respond as he had, but he stopped her. "From me, aijou. I am to pay him back for those fourteen days you were not there and were supposed to be. You are… to live with him at the palace, and I… am only allowed fourteen days to visit you."

Taking a breath, she swallowed hard. "Forever?"

"Yes, Kaoru. Forever."

"Oh." It was all she could manage, the calm shielding her mind almost oppressively thick. "Is there… nothing else we can do?"

"If I do not bring you tomorrow he will give me fourteen days before coming to find you himself."

"So then… nothing will change his mind. This will happen either way."

"I am afraid it is so. Please forgive me, Kaoru. You now have to pay the price for my mistake."

His distress was rising and Kaoru felt sympathy and compassion for the father that had tried to protect her. The decisions he had made were all in her best interest, and she could feel no resentment towards him for anything. He was only human, after all, and humans made mistakes. The only fear pulling at her heart now was for him. Koshijirou may have claimed the roll of her father, but over the years Kaoru had looked after him just as much. Her mother had left them in the care of each other, and he was her responsibility as she was his. If leaving meant canceling out any bad karma his dishonor had caused then she would gladly go. Only, she was worried he might not care for himself in the way he needed.

Already it was essential to go across the mountain and find new students. Because of this new development his food would surely go further with one less mouth to feed… but would be feel inclined to try? She hated the thought of leaving him all alone. It frightened her because she did not want to think of him suffering in her absence, but she shuddered to think what the beast would do if she were not to arrive. He had promised not to hurt her, but that did not mean he wouldn't hurt her father.

"Then I suppose I must go." Though he had spent the last thirty minutes trying to explain why she would now be forced to leave their home, her father still looked shocked and hurt by her agreement. "But Father, you have to promise me you'll still make the trip to the other village. You need students and the boys around here are too wrapped up in their violent stories to do the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu any good."

"Kaoru, that doesn't matter anymore…"

"Yes it certainly does." Fighting against her drowning swell of emotions, she shoved her stubbornness and anger to the forefront to try and act as normal as was possible to help her father. "Not only do you have a responsibility to make sure your heritage is passed down to a worthy successor, you also have to make sure you survive the winter so you can teach it. Just because I'm going to go live in some run-down old castle it doesn't give you the excuse to slack off. You need food to eat so you can continue training, which means you need money to buy that food and an income to supply that money. So don't even worry about unpacking because after you walk me to the palace you're going straight to the next village just like we had planned to begin with."

"Child… you know you were going to be my successor." It was the saddest thing she had ever heard, his heart in each syllable of the words as his defeat echoed in the finality of her departure.

"Well… it's not like I'm going to be slacking off either, you know." Crossing her arms as if indignant, she glared. "I'll just bring all of my training gear. I don't know what this… _person_ thinks he's getting but he's just going to have to settle for me. I can almost guarantee I'll be unlike any woman he's ever met before. He'll probably send me back within a week." Grinning at the thought of scaring the biggest monster in all of their bedtime stories, she laughed softly as her father finally chuckled.

Leaning against his side she stared at the ground where soft patches of warm sunshine littered the yard. "I don't want you to be so upset, Dad. I don't blame you for anything. I love you and I want to know you'll be ok. Fourteen days may not sound like a lot, but… if that's all we get then I want to make sure we get every single one of them. Which means you have to take care of yourself so you can come visit me, and besides… maybe… if I'm nice to him he might just let me visit you."

Koshijirou took a deep breath, his arms encircling his daughter tightly. She was so much stronger than him. She wasn't upset or angry, even after learning the rest of her life had been decided because of a debt he'd failed to pay in the past. So he would be strong for her. Sighing, he dropped his head onto the top of hers, taking in a moment that would stay with him forever.

The last couple of days were a silent embarrassment for him. If she had been in his place she would not have acted as weak and emotional. Chuckling, ignoring the tug on his sleeve as she silently asked for an explanation, he felt amusement towards himself for being so pathetic. A woman, a child, _his_ child, had more guts, brains, and strength than he.

"Daddy… are you alright?" She was worried now, about his laughter, he realized.

"Yes, aijou, I'm fine." It was a lie, but for now it would do.

"Good. I want you to promise me you won't give up. Promise me you'll do everything I've told you to and that you'll come visit me when you have the time. I don't care when, just as long as you come by so I can make sure you're fine." He smiled down at her, gently adoring of her demands and the manner in which she was commanding him to follow. "Promise?"

"Yes, yes. I promise, aijou. Anything to keep my daughter happy."

"Great. How about we do a little sparring to celebrate?" Pulling away in feigned excitement, she stood with a bounce. "And then you can cook me your specialty for supper. Oh, I'm so happy I don't have to eat my own cooking again tonight. Three meals in a row is just too much." Stretching her arms high above her head as she walked back towards the training hall she started laughing in great delight as her arms dropped back to her sides. "I take it back! If he expects me to cook it'll probably only take two days before he sends me packing!"

Koshijirou watched her withdraw into the dojo, half chuckling at her devilish glee. Casting his eyes back towards the mountain one last time he frowned in abrupt displeasure as his thoughts caught up with the truth behind her teasing. _He had better plan on taking care of my daughter better than that. I'll be checking up on her too on my visits. Beast, curse, lord or no… I will not be a happy father if she is in poor condition or spirits. This had better be understood… lord of the palace._

X

A/N: I wanted to keep Kaoru in strong spirits but also try to keep that "holy shit" reaction. Obviously, she doesn't remember anything, and also, so you don't get confused, she doesn't remember her dream either. Kaoru's mother married her father and moved to the village they live in while her father was born and raised there, so she didn't grow up hearing their little evil stories about the palace… though it does seem they had their own legend about something. -evil laugh- This was kind of an explainer chapter, so the next one will move us forward. Plus, it was needed to get her father back on his feet and out of the doldrums. I never thought of her dad as some weakling, but unfortunately it was needed a little bit. He is about to lose his daughter after all. I need him to be strong in later chapters though, so I left him in a little bit of protective father mode where 'don't care if you're some thousand year old cursed, spoiled, lord child, I'll still kick your ass if you hurt my little girl.' Fathers are the greatest when they're like that.

Love you Dad.

Leave a review, encouragement is a great motivator. Just saying.


	3. The Palace

First and foremost I would like to say congratulations to the web site and all of my fellow fan writers for making a July 2011 issue of the Times magazine. A three page article all about what we do, why we do it, and other things. I guess it may not seem that cool to others, but it was a fun surprise for me to sit down at my break table at work, flip through the first magazine lying in front of me (find a picture of the devastated Joplin, MO, which made me sad and thankful at the same time as I have two brothers that live near there, one of which works there; neither were hurt or otherwise affected), and find an article about what I like to do on my off time. I had one of those, _oh, oh, I post stories on that page! _moments. lol My co-workers were thoroughly amused.

Second, I'm loving all the attention this is getting, and I'm glad everyone has liked it so far. I will continue to work hard on it, try to polish it to a glow at least, and hope that it measures up.

Disclaimer: I own no palaces, lords, people, or animals… well, except for my cats, but the way they act you'd think they own me. XD

**Chapter 3: The Palace**

Kaoru stood just beyond the threshold of the palace with her chin high and spine straight. Only moments before she had bidden her father farewell and watched him walk his way south along the mountain. Too soon his back had disappeared behind the dense trees and foliage, leaving her alone and unprotected within this new world she was to be a part of. It at once frightened and excited her.

Apparently she had met this man… creature… before, but she could not recall the experience. Perhaps, she told herself, there never was any such meeting. Perhaps she, as a child, had simply laid down to rest, he had found her and, as a gesture of kindness or pity, returned her to her parents before any predator happened upon her so vulnerable. Whatever the truth, she was a little curious as to what she was going to find on the other side of the gate.

Once inside, however, she was faced with… nothing. No one waited to greet her and there was nothing in sight that gave a clue as what she was expected to do or where to go. The grounds themselves looked deserted. There were stray twigs, leaves, and old pine needles scattered about the yard. A quick study of the rooftops showed missing shingles that were blatantly evident, their broken wooden pieces joining the decaying leaves piling against the under-posts of the corridors. Even the barrier wall was besieged by overgrowth from the surrounding forest, its mixture of green, brown, and black pouring over the solid wooden structure in defiance of its purpose to keep such things out.

A little surprised by the amount of aging evidence, though unsure what she had expected since the palace was over a thousand years old, Kaoru scanned her eyes over the immediate vicinity. Gliding over the forefront courtyard and its surrounding veranda, she found herself fascinated by the multiple buildings that were connected by the covered porches. As the impressive boundary wall concealed most of the palace, there were very few buildings that topped its height enough to be seen. The central pavilion, for example, was one of these buildings, a detail that was to be expected since it would house the lord. Because of the trees and the wall, it was the only part of the palace that could be seen from the village. Once inside, however, it was obvious there was more to the place than first met the eye.

Curious now Kaoru stepped forward, hesitant at first, then with rising conviction as nothing detained her. Skirting the edges of the inner palace, a feat that was not easy nor quickly done, she found herself standing at the base of an entire city. Slightly staggered, she dropped the pack tied to her bokken and stared in awe at the sheer magnitude of hundreds of houses, workshops, training halls, and gardens. It was, in a word, beautiful; the intricate network of antique styled structures going on for what looked like miles up the face of the mountain. In fact, as she stood dumbstruck, her neck craning upwards, she could not distinctly see the boundary of this metropolis. There were simply too many other roofs and trees in the way. The incorporation of natural influence softened the colonized appearance and gave it a charisma that her own village lacked, even as her village was much smaller and clearly rural.

As she gawked she began to notice differences between the closer buildings and those further back. Everything was more meticulous, grandiose, better-crafted the nearer it came to the palace. As the city stretched away from the lord's home it became simpler, stouter, though no less well-made. What was curious was even with the age of the entire castle, barring the broken roof tiles, nothing seemed to be in disrepair. It was as if the owner had left and in his absence the palace had gone to sleep, tucked under a bed of tall grass, circling vines, and wildflowers.

Shock wearing off as her thoughts swam in wondering delight, excitement overpowered her apprehension and she wanted nothing more than to explore this forgotten world. It was easy to tell the changes in culture since its birth and the time she had grown in. In the back of her mind it was the same feeling she got when snooping through her mother's clothes and jewelry when she knew her father wasn't looking. A tight ball of anxiety mixed with enchantment curled in her gut as she fingered those precious items from a time before her, thinking about the life it had touched and changed and helped grow. With so many houses it was easy to imagine the people that had once lived there. What were they like, she wondered. What did they enjoy? Where did the children play? With so many families, there was bound to be children.

Nearly giddy with her own speculative dreaming, she skipped her way forward into the city's embrace. Passing the guardian assembly of domiciles closest to the palace, she was able to see even more as smaller houses came out of hiding. It was only one, however, that trapped her attention, a tiny gasp of astonishment catching in her throat. With bright new cypress shingles on the roof and shining wooden posts and steps, it looked brand new and alive next to the slumbering palace. It was petite, almost delicate and feminine, and there was a wonderful scent of cherry blossoms coming from it. Kaoru suddenly wanted to go inside. More than anything, she wanted to see what it could house.

There was only one thing marring its finery, a large black spot spread over the top of the stairs. At a distance it seemed indistinguishable from the wood, like a large burn mark or stain. As Kaoru came closer, however, and a low rumbling growl vibrated the air, she found herself making first contact with any source of life.

The first words that popped into her head were her father's. _"A wolf will take down full grown men, if they have the inclination." If that's a wolf, than I'm the empress. _Taking one slow step back, she couldn't help but whimper when it jumped abruptly to its feet, its ferocious growling becoming louder as it bared its teeth. _This isn't even possible! I've never heard of a wolf that big! Some bears aren't even that size!_ Sleek and dangerous it slid down the steps, eyeing her with dark golden irises that said it would love nothing more than to rip her throat out.

Stumbling into the porch of a nearby house, her leg caught on a stray branch sticking halfway underneath the residence and tipped her back into a jumbled heap. At the same moment she feared she was dead a loud bark from behind alerted her to another presence. This one jumped over the top of her, placing itself between her and the wolf as it securely set its paws and barked in great agitation and anger. It was nearly as large as the wolf, and briefly she mistook it as one, except its features leaned more towards a mangy mutt than an elegant wolf. Its diminutive size and lesser breed did not stop it from facing the wolf down, though, and after a long, tense span of time the wolf finally gave up. With a deep snort and a dismissive swipe of its tail it turned and sauntered back up the stairs to resume its post.

Confused, speechless, and still half tangled up in her own clothes, Kaoru watched the dog trot back to her. Like a well-trained guardian it sat at her feet as if waiting for her next command and she uncertainly studied it back as she stood and straightened herself out.

"Um… thank you." She was going to reach forward and scratch behind its ears to show further appreciation, but it did something so totally unexpected that all she could manage was a soft sound of panic.

"Don't mention it. Saitou was just being a jerk. He can get like that when the lord gives him special orders."

"W-what?"

"Oh, don't take it personally, the lord just doesn't like anyone going near the shrine. So he told Saitou to stand watch to keep you away."

"Oh." Feeling surreal, she nodded as if understood this talking dog completely. Which she didn't. "Well…" Breathless, she swallowed against the rush of blood flooding her head and darkening her vision. "he should have just asked." And with a shaky smile, she fainted.

X

Voices were echoing in her ears, far away as if she were standing at the end of a long tunnel. Since her eyes were still closed she had nothing else to focus on but sharpening her awareness of what they were saying. A couple of the voices were indignant, one was slightly scathing, another was soothing, and still another was angry. They were arguing, but she was too addlebrained to understand over what.

"You didn't have to scare her into a fit, Sanosuke." There was a haughty air to the voice that spoke of a familiarity in scolding the other she was addressing.

"Hey, if anyone scared her it was that damn wolf! When I got there he looked about ready to eat her! If anything I'm probably her new hero." Kaoru recognized this voice, and though she was still befuddled, the bragging pride in his tone was amusing.

"Oh, great Hero Mutt, I bow to your glory. Too bad you ruined it by opening your big mouth." A completely different voice mocked his statement, its tone playful with laughter.

"Oh shut up." The pride was gone, replaced by annoyance.

"Please, you're going to wake her." This voice was soft and sweet; a soothing balm to her anxiety.

"Yeah, keep your voices down!" To counteract the sweetness, a new voice growled a warning a bit more forcefully than was necessary.

"That means you too, Yahiko. Loudmouth." The annoyance from the one she recognized sneered into childish teasing.

"What did you say you mangy dog?"

"You heard me."

"Enough."

The short command pulled her closer into wakefulness, light filtering into her parted eyelashes as the sounds around her became sharper. Even in the stillness after the new voice's abrupt order there was more noise than she thought should be possible.

"I think she's waking up, my lord." It was the soft voice again, something light and fluffy touching her cheek. It tickled her, and she felt her lips curve unconsciously. Cracking her eyes open wider, carefully at first, afraid of any bright light, than with quickening flaps of her lashes, she blinked at the ceiling above.

"Are you alright, miss?" The words were like a purr rumbling in her left ear, and she rolled her head to that side to greet the owner of such a sweet, innocent voice. What she found were large grey eyes framed by smooth tan fur, black tabby stripes pattering over the kitten's face like the kohl she sometimes saw on passing ladies. Her first thought was she was having that talking animal dream again. It would have been a nicer alternative, but a small part of her knew that this was the second animal to speak with her. The first had even happened when she knew for a fact that she was wide awake. Nothing was going to explain the situation away, and that kind of scared her about the reality of her life.

Noticing the kitten was waiting for an answer she nodded. Tearing her eyes reluctantly away, she looked first at the half-grown tiger sitting behind the miniature feline, to a fox, a weasel, and then the unkempt dog at her feet. Each one signaled a greeting of some kind, which she tried to respond to even though she was still a little unsure about her own sanity as these animals made such human gestures. When she turned her head finally to the right to greet the owner of the commanding voice, however, she was met with nothing more than a closing shoji and the quiet snap of wood on wood.

"You'll have to forgive the young lord, he's become rather shy." It was the fox speaking, and it tore her gaze from the door and all of the secrets it was hiding. The sight of its small, red body and bushy tail nearly made her jump as the feminine and dignified voice it emitted suggested the lady-like and noble appearance of a woman instead.

"Young lord?"

"You're lucky he caught you when you fainted or you'd be waking up sore." The weasel boldly scurried up her arm as Kaoru sat up, perching herself on her shoulder. Pulling her face away with a raised brow, Kaoru tried not to act uncomfortable. "The name's Misao, by the way."

"That's right, I forgot." The dog scratched absently at his ear with a hind leg. "She doesn't know who we are, does she?"

"Of course she doesn't, idiot." The fox was just a little too forceful with the statement, but Kaoru thought she could already detect a bit of tension between the two. "My name is Megumi, and the dirty mutt is Sano."

"I'm not dirty." Indignant his hind leg came down and he glared at the fox. "My fur just does this naturally."

"My name is Tsubame, ma'am." If anything the kitten looked even cuter as she shyly ducked her little head.

"And I'm Yahiko." The young tiger spoke up proudly, his awkward, in between features mixing the eagerness of childhood with the dignity of maturity.

Trying not to let any physical discomfort show because of their human speech, she swallowed and attempted a smile. "It's lovely to meet you all. I'm Kamiya Kaoru." Bowing her head respectfully, she cast a quick glance back towards the firmly shut shoji.

"Oh, you haven't met all of us yet. There's tons more."

"More?" Feeling lightheaded again, she tried to wrap her brain around the idea of a fleet of talking animals.

"Of course. You saw all the houses, right?" Kaoru nodded as the weasel, Misao, spoke in barely constrained enthusiasm. "Well they all belong to somebody. I mean, even Saitou has a family."

"Saitou?"

"You met him earlier. He was the wolf guarding the shrine."

"Oh."

"I apologize that he was so grumpy, but he gets like that when the lord gives him orders. He doesn't really like it, you see, because he was…" Misao trailed off for a moment, Kaoru's big blue eyes trained on her expectantly. "Well, because he's older, really."

"Just how old is he?"

"Who knows anymore." The large mongrel, Sano she recalled, stretched himself out along the floor at the foot of her futon. "I think he was like thirty or forty or something like that. Older than Kenshin, anyway."

"Who's Kenshin?"

"Sanosuke!" The fox jumped over and whapped him with a paw. "Let him introduce himself! And you shouldn't be so informal anyway!" Yelping, Sano jumped away from the smaller canine.

"Sorry, Fox, I wasn't thinking… sheesh."

"Well start thinking, you idiot!"

"Whatever…" Rolling his shoulders in a half shrug, he plopped back down on his belly with his chin resting on his forelegs.

"So who's Kenshin?" Trying again, Kaoru looked back and forth between the two, noticing they were still giving each other the evil eye.

"Don't worry about that for now. Why don't we see about getting some tea? You still look a little pale."

X

A few hours later and Kaoru still had no idea who Kenshin was, but since it didn't seem to be a big issue she'd given up on it. She was starting to get used to her new friends and in the process they had successfully distracted her with tea, letting her set up her new room (which was incredibly dirty and in desperate need of airing out), and then just recently showing her to the kitchens where supper was in progress. There had been no sign of the lord or even a shadow of his presence. Misao had suggested his quick reaction when she'd fainted, but she couldn't remember catching a glimpse of anyone close by when she had first arrived. However it had happened she did suppose she would have to thank him later for catching her fall.

At the moment she was preoccupied with watching her newest acquaintance cook dinner with an ease she was in serious envy over. Tae was a professional, or so Sano bragged, and even with the hands of a monkey she could cook better than even Kaoru's mother used to. There were a couple other, smaller monkeys that she barked orders at from time to time helping her out, but it was obvious Tae was the head chef. She didn't like sass, she wasn't about to be second guessed, and you did not, absolutely did not, try and steal food from her kitchen.

If you followed all her rules she was remarkably easy to get along with, and Kaoru found herself happily chatting away as she watched her cook. None of the others stayed to help or talk, some of them because they had no opposable thumbs, others because of their bad experiences with Tae and her kitchen. This left Kaoru alone with her new source of information, and she was learning fast just how much information Tae actually knew. There was some of it, though, that she was a little guarded with.

"Misao said there were more…uh… well, others that live here too. How did you all end up here, and how come you all…"

"Talk?" Tae laughed and waved off her attempt at politeness. "We live here, my lady. We have always lived here. Many of us were born here and most of us will more than likely die here. Just as your family has no doubt lived in your village for generations, so it is with us. This is our home, and the lord is our master. As to why we talk… well, we've all talked since we were children, just like you."

"But no animal I've ever heard of could talk. Why is there such an overabundance living here? Is it some kind of spell or magic aura surrounding the castle?" Already wooed by the idea, Kaoru became eager, her figure leaning forward against the counter.

"To tell the truth, I'm not sure how it happened. Only the lord knows the entire truth and it is not my place to ask for such details."

"Why not? It has obviously affected you, so why shouldn't you know how it happened?" Kaoru chewed on her lip as Tae ignored her, then continued thoughtfully. "Maybe it has something to do with that shrine. It looks much neater and cleaner than the rest of the palace. He even sicced that wolf on me for going near it."

"I doubt the lord meant for him to be so threatening about it. It's just that no one goes near the shrine, it's something that is understood. He probably asked Saitou to stand watch because he was aware you would not know this."

"He could have picked someone with a better temper." Mumbling under her breath, her curiosity forgotten as she remembered the wolf's threatening demeanor, she stared at the large pot simmering on the stove.

"What did you say, honey?"

"He could have saved everyone the trouble if he'd just greeted me at the gate and told me what was off limits. Anyway, that only proves it has to be special in some way, right?"

"That is the master's business and not mine. Now, why don't you go make yourself comfortable at the table if you're feeling restless. The lord might even decide to come for supper tonight since you're here. It'll be the perfect opportunity to tell him what you think of his manners."

Kaoru was being handled but she let it slide. Her crazy theory was probably a long shot in the dark anyway. Whatever was in that shrine it was completely off-limits and important to the lord. _Maybe it's his dead wife, or something._ Shrugging, she followed Tae's directions to the dining room, eager to explore some more. Once there she found that it wasn't much better than her new living quarters. Layered dirt on the short-legged table spoke of how long it had been since its last use, the seat cushions on the floor arranged around it were a permanent shade of grey, and the air was so musty she began to cough immediately. Performing a quick one-eighty, she marched her way back across the connecting walk and into the kitchen.

"Could you point me in the right direction for a wash cloth, Tae-san? The table needs a quick wipe down first." _The whole room needs scrubbed, but I guess that'll have to wait until tomorrow._ Trying to smile without offending anyone, as she knew how hard it would be to try and keep the entire palace clean in the form of an animal, she wondered if she had quite pulled it off when Tae sighed despondently.

"I apologize, my lady. Our lord has not taken his meal at the table in many years, I forgot how badly it has been neglected because of that. I'm ashamed that I sent you in there without cleaning it first."

"That's alright, it won't take me long to do a quick run through."

"Then you have my gratitude. The well is just out back, and you should find a bucket and some rags next to the porch on your way out."

Ducking her way through another door on the opposite side, she stepped quickly across a second room to the outer door. The air was instantly fresher, and with the slight bite of evening it would easily ventilate the dining room if the shoji was to be propped open. Making a mental note to do that once back inside she jerked the door shut behind her, turned to step off the engawa, and slammed into someone making their way in.

With her head lowered so she could look for the bucket Tae had spoken of she didn't see her sorry victim until it was too late. Apology already on her tongue as she slapped a hand to the ache on the crown of her skull, she froze in quick recognition when her mind decided to let her know there was only one other presence at the palace tall enough for her to bump into. It wasn't quite what she had imagined her first meeting with the palace lord to be like, and the quiet thump in her chest turned into a loud drumming in her ears. Her father had hinted at his appearance but there was still so much mystery surrounding him.

With her chin in her chest sapphire irises focused on his feet first. They were bare, long, and bright red with the promised talons her father had told her about. Curved and jet black, the talons extended each toe another half length or more. No sandal would ever fit those wide spread feet, but as the red of his skin glistened under the retreating sun light she saw there was no need for him to worry about covering. Small, hardened scales lined every last inch of each foot.

Dark hakama covered his legs, though they were well worn and had the distinct faded appearance of cloth that had at one point been black but was now a dull grey. Nothing covered his torso, and she was met with a full view of more red-scaled skin and hardened muscles. Strangely there were no scales across his abdomen, though, leaving only softer, smooth crimson flesh around his navel and up to his chest. He was slight in build but his shoulders still seemed broad, and she was amazed at the strength in each one of his muscles and the power in the way he held himself.

_His face_… It was indeed easy to see how her father could have mistaken him for a man all those years ago. With the body structure of any normal person, in the dark no one would be able to tell the difference, but his face was not easily mistaken for anything human. First and foremost his irises were larger, covering nearly the entire width of his eye, and the pupil was a vertical slit. His nose was flatter, squarer, and longer, pressed close to his face with diagonal openings for his nostrils. He had no eyebrows, a very pronounced bone formation, and sharply pointed ears.

Only his mouth looked human, and at the moment it was set in a very stern frown. Realizing just how long she had been staring, Kaoru felt her chest tighten and her eyes locked back with his. Amber bore into azure and she thought she understood why Tsubame was always so timid.

X

A/N: Yay. Introduced some new characters, got to describe some of the palace, which would be so fun to explore, and of course… the lord himself. Only a little bit about him for now. He's obviously going to be a complex character. Kaoru's already curious and she's only been there a few hours. And Saitou's a jerk… but he's always a jerk and that's why I love him. lol So anyway, more to come in the next chapter… Kaoru gets her first impression of the lord's personality and she's not going to take it lying down. Hope that everyone is happy so far, and leave a review to tell me why. Or why not, if you must. Thanks!


	4. Dinner Dispute

So I had it explained to me that tables would not really have been used, and everyone is given their own portions at the beginning of the meal. Unfortunately I've already told everyone that there is a table, so I'm going to keep it, plus it offers great reasons for tension between our lord and Kaoru. You'll see in a bit. I've tried to incorporate the rest of what I learned from a reviewer into the dinner. Thanks again for the education. I always appreciate learning.

Disclaimer: Nope… I don't put up with that crap.

**Chapter 4: Dinner Dispute**

Taking one deep breath to loosen the tightness in her chest, Kaoru smiled brightly. "I was just on my way to get some water from the well. Would you mind helping me?" Stepping off the porch without waiting for his answer, she crouched down to look for the bucket. It didn't take her long to find it and when she stood back up she saw the lord had not moved.

Long red bangs covered much of his features in shadow now that he was turned away from the setting sun, and she could see at that moment how he used them to hide. They could do nothing about the golden horns on his head, however, and for a second her eyes strayed upwards before she caught herself and forced them back to his own. He was staring at her as if measuring her motives.

"Well?" She held up the bucket in reference. "I need some water to clean off the table before we can eat, so it would be in your best interest to help. The quicker it's done, the sooner we're fed." Keeping the bright smile on her face even as his own tightened and his eyes narrowed, she was almost afraid she had offended him. That wouldn't do, not if she was hoping to talk him into letting her father visit more than just some measly fourteen days.

Abruptly his body angled away, his amber eyes glancing at her one last time before he completely ignored her request and disappeared through the door she had exited. With his back to her she was given a perfect view of his carefully folded red wings, a good enough reason for his bare torso as it would be a little difficult to maneuver a kimono around them. Long, freely wild hair hung all the way down his back, and just as the shoji reverted to shut, a small twitch by his feet attracted her attention to the slender tail dragging the ground, a small tuft of red fur at its tip.

It was actually kind of cute and she had to press her lips together hard to keep herself from smiling, because Kaoru was acutely indignant. He hadn't even acknowledged her! Lord or no, that was just plain rude.

Twisting with an angry grind of her heel she marched her way over to the well and dropped its waiting pail into the inky darkness. The rope tied to its handle unraveled quickly, spiraling into the shadows like her own rational thoughts as her irritation got the best of her. Just who the hell did he think he was? The lord had nearly demanded her presence at his castle but now that she was here she was being treated like she wasn't even good enough to acknowledge.

A heavy splash echoed up the stone well and she waited a few seconds for the rope to tauten as the pail sank below water before pulling it back up. The work helped to calm her temper, and by the time she was able to dump the pail's contents into her own bucket she was once again in control of her thoughts. After ranting and fuming under her breath, explaining in vivid detail every reason why she should just knock him in the jaw and leave, she picked up her now full bucket and walked back towards the kitchens.

None of her violent tactics were going to work here. For one, she still knew next to nothing about the lord. Hell, she didn't even know his name yet. Although he seemed indifferent with her that didn't mean he wouldn't get aggressive. In fact she had proof that he was fully capable of anger. Her father's healing wounds and soft words of explanation warned her against irritating him. After catching her first glimpse of him she had been given more than enough time to examine the sharp claws that had no doubt committed the act. They looked like nothing to be messing with. His entire body looked like nothing she should be messing with.

Sighing, she kicked off the sandals she'd found next to the bucket and climbed back onto the engawa. _Just because he can be cruel, though, doesn't mean I have to put up with it. I'll just have to beat him with words instead of muscle. _Letting out a long breath as she hefted the bucket once more, she freed a hand to let herself inside. _Should be easy enough. I doubt he's had to deal with word bantering in quite some time. I mean, he is up here all alone, and with the way Tae spoke of her master… none of them count because they don't talk back._

There was a second room between the kitchen and the outside that she had to pass through before she could go across the covered walk to the dining area. With the way it looked she could guess it was used for washing and storing the dishes. Halfway across the room, however, she heard raised voices and they automatically forced her to slow. One she recognized as Tae's, the other, from it's masculine tone, she thought must have belonged to the lord.

"I'm sorry, my lord, she offered to do it. She didn't seem to mind at all and I only thought…"

"The first guest we've had in this house in over a decade and you thought to put her to work? If the room is unfit to dine in then you should have had it cleaned earlier today."

"But my lord, you didn't tell anyone she would be staying until she arrived. No one had any time to…"

"That's no excuse."

"What's _your _excuse?" Not about to let the reprimand go any further, Kaoru stepped in, and as both heads snapped around to look at her standing in the doorway she let the frown on her face darken. Tae seemed taken aback by her audacity, and the other two helpers ducked their heads as they continued with their work. The lord, however, surprised her by looking quickly away. Not in shame, she realized, but avoidance. His reply was almost reluctant.

"I will not tolerate such disrespect from my servants."

"Like Tae-san told you, I offered to clean the room. From what I've just heard you didn't give them sufficient time to do anything in preparation and since I'm not doing anything but waiting to be fed I don't have one problem actually earning it. I'm not offended, so why should you be?"

"It is not your place." Annoyance deepened his voice to a low growl, and Tae backed up slowly in response before turning to ignore the proceedings.

"Well if you had such a damn problem with me carrying in a stupid bucket of water then you could have helped like I asked." Kaoru was getting angry again, and that anger was ignoring the little voice of self-preservation in her head that was trying to talk her down.

"It is not my place, either!" He still hadn't looked at her, but his hands had fisted, clenching those dangerous claws into the soft flesh of his palms.

"Have you even looked at any of your _servants_ recently?" Kaoru gestured at the three monkeys in the room. "How do you expect Tae-san to carry a bucket of water into the house when the bucket is bigger than she is?"

"I have other servants more than capable of performing such a task." He was being difficult and insufferable and Kaoru wanted to tell him a few choice words that were not so nice. Instead she changed tactics.

"How about this? I'm going to take this bucket, walk through that door, clean off the table, air out the room, and then sit down to a nice meal made by three wonderful ladies that I just met today." Speaking slowly and meaningfully, her hands gesturing for reference, she half-smiled as Tae shot her an astonished look at being called a lady. "I don't care what you think or what you do. You can join me if you like, it is your house after all, or you can go somewhere and sulk because you didn't get your way." Marching past him she stopped at the door to inform him of one last thing. "Oh, and by the way, I think you kind of owe it to me to do the former."

Momentarily speechless, he tilted his head, the long bangs covering his face parting as they fell to show off his stern mouth. "How do you figure I owe you anything?" His voice was soft and threatening. She ignored the warning.

"Would you like me to make a list for you?" Holding up a finger, she ticked off each occurrence. "First of all you hurt my father, then you demanded I come live here. When I show up you don't even greet me at the gate, you sic your pet wolf on me, and then leave me alone without any explanation in the hands of your so called servants. Then just recently you ignore my request for help. Me, a lady, a _guest_, in your home. All of this and you haven't even introduced yourself yet. Really, you're worse than Enishi."

"Who is Enishi?"

The undertone of bite in the question was a little disconcerting, but instead of dwelling on it Kaoru traded the bucket to her other hand and shrugged. "The village jerk. Who cares?" Disliking how easily the atmosphere had shifted, she turned with a huff and walked out onto the veranda to the dining room. "I'll be back for the tray once I'm finished cleaning, Tae-san."

Sitting the bucket down next to the table, Kaoru walked to the other side and slid the shoji open all the way. It brightened the room with failing light and let in a chill breeze, chasing away the gloom and stale odor. Breathing in the crisp evening air she smiled briefly at the charming scenery before returning to her task. Tomorrow she would need to take care of the walls, ceiling and floor, but for now she'd see about beating a couple of the cushions and scrubbing the table. _And some candles. It'll be too dark to eat soon without some extra light._

The lord hadn't so much as followed her into the room as hovered by the door, a disapproving scowl on his face as he watched her pick up all the cushions. Rolling her eyes she ignored him, choosing the two cleanest looking pillows and taking them outside to knock the dust off of them. They didn't look much cleaner when she was done, but the underside was decent on both. Leaving them out on the porch to hopefully soak in some of the fresh air, she came back to the table and the bucket of water.

Quickly tying back her sleeves and more than aware of the eyes boring into her back, she knelt by the table, fished out a sturdy, rough textured rag, and set to work on the grime layered on the wood. It was a little stubborn and turned her cloth into a black mess, but after changing and rinsing out four of the washcloths it started to reveal the beautiful dark lacquer hidden underneath.

Dropping her last rag back into the bucket of dirty water, Kaoru wiped off her forehead with the back of her hand and stood to consider her handiwork. _Not the greatest, but it'll do for tonight._ Pleased with herself, and more than hungry now that she'd worked up an appetite, she retrieved the two cushions outside, placed them next to the table and picked her bucket back up to dispose of the water.

Gliding past the master, across the walk and into the kitchen, she smiled again at Tae when she cast her a questioning look. "Are there any candles or lanterns, Tae-san?"

"O-of course, my lady." Throwing a quick glance at the lord hesitantly, Tae elaborated. "There are some in the other room, you'll see them on the right as you enter."

"Thank you." Looking at the lord herself, she lifted a brow as if daring him to say anything, before sauntering through the kitchen. She was never going to ask him for any help ever again. He was clearly useless. _At least he's decided not to complain anymore._

Tossing the water and replacing the empty bucket next to the engawa, Kaoru returned to the wash room and found the candles. There were many pretty looking shades to accompany them and she selected a couple for the room. There were also a few hanging lamps that she eyed for the porch. Since the door was going to be open she may as well light it, too. _Maybe the light will attract some fireflies._ It was out of season for fireflies, but she liked the thought.

With the candles lit and the sun just now hidden below the horizon, the dining room glowed with soft light, hiding the dust and cobwebs still in the corners and cocooning the table as its focal point. Satisfied, Kaoru washed her hands, untied her sleeves, and patiently waited for Tae to finish preparing the first tray of food.

"The lord is very unhappy." Whispering as she ladled some of the soup into a bowl, Tae shot a look behind Kaoru to the door. "The quieter he gets, the angrier he becomes. Please try not to anger him anymore."

"Well he doesn't have to be such a jerk." Defensive of her actions, Kaoru tried to shrug the warning off, but it was clearly bothering the cook and Kaoru was bothered by that.

"Don't… don't think too badly of the young lord. He was trying to be nice…"

"He was yelling at you!"

"But he was right. You are his guest and we should have remembered our duties. A guest is not expected to clean or prepare their own table. It is rude. I do apologize, it has simply been too long since the lord has entertained. We have all forgotten how to act."

"I'm not really a guest though, am I?" Feeling the first sharp pain of misery at the thought, Kaoru averted her eyes for a second and clenched her jaw to keep it from shaking. "I'm more like a prisoner."

Tae's face had dropped, her eyes denying her claim. "Not a prisoner, my lady. You are here at the will of the master. Invited here to live and be taken care of. You are our new mistress… second only to the master."

"I am only the daughter of a samurai." She was not nobility and she did not like having anyone wait on her. Not when she was fully capable of taking care of herself. This life was not what she was meant for. It would drive her crazy. And what did Tae mean, their new mistress? She wasn't better than anyone.

"Our lord is a samurai. Do not take the title so lightly."

The tray was ready, but Kaoru was still processing what she had just been told. _A samurai? But he isn't carrying a katana._ Curious now, she hefted the tray and brought it into the dining area, missing the smile that pulled at Tae's lips.

The lord had apparently decided to dine with her, as he was already seated and waiting for the food to be served. Kneeling next to him, she carefully placed each platter Tae had fixed for him, looking him over out of the corner of her eye. He certainly had the muscle structure to be a samurai, and the arrogant attitude. It did not change the fact that he was still disrespectful, though. Standing stiffly with the empty tray she went back for the second load of her own food.

The third tray was a steaming pot of tea, which she served, placed the tray aside, and was finally ready to take her own seat adjacent to him. Settled with her legs tucked underneath her, she squished the cushion with her knees for a comfortable position, then looked up to her host. He was waiting patiently, which surprised her, and seeing that she was now ready to begin he picked up his chopsticks and started the meal.

The food was wonderful and quite different than anything she had ever eaten before. For a few moments she was happy just to quell the ache of hunger in her belly. After that, however, her tunneled vision began to expand and she remembered the lord sitting near her. She was still angry, over the way he treated his servants, the way he didn't greet her at the gate, but Tae's words stuck with her. It seemed some thought needed to be put into her actions. Just being nice to him was not going to be as easy as she had previously believed.

The fox, _Megumi_, she corrected herself, had apologized, saying their lord had grown shy. That was easy enough to empathize with, considering his appearance. Tae had said he was _trying_ to be nice, and then suggested how long it had been since they'd last had a visitor. She had no clue as to exactly how old the lord really was, but according to her father he hadn't aged in the thirteen years between the first time he had seen him and this last. It seemed she had quite the job ahead of her, trying to discern what part of his personality was original and what part had developed over time. It also seemed she needed to try and be a little more patient in her assumptions.

_He is nobility and in his world for a lord or his guest to do anything like cleaning, cooking, or otherwise is disrespectful and demeaning. I guess he was trying to be nice to me, but… I didn't grow up in that environment. And perhaps he was just being shy when we met out on the engawa and he didn't say anything. I guess we did get off on the wrong foot._ Looking up, she bit her lip and mentally rolled her eyes at herself._ You're so hot-headed. No wonder father beats you when we spar ten times out of ten. You can't ever analyze the situation correctly without jumping to conclusions first._

Taking a sip of her tea, she braced herself to try and start over. "So… I guess I should really thank you." His head didn't move, but his eyes flitted up to search her face for a second, an amber glow beneath red bangs. "Misao said you caught me when I fainted. I'd probably have a nasty headache if you hadn't." Frowning she leaned her elbow on the table and dropped her head, speaking half to herself. "I've never fainted before. It's a little embarrassing that I did." Looking up with a weak smile, she shrugged. "Still… thanks."

A long pause followed, and then his eyes returned to his meal. "You're welcome." Kaoru watched for a second as he fumbled with the fish.

"Actually, I suppose you saved me twice. Father said you were nice enough to bring me back home after I wandered off into the forest as a child. If you hadn't, who knows what would have happened to me. I hope I wasn't too much trouble."

"It was no trouble."

"I must have walked quite a ways just to be close enough to the palace for you to stumble upon me. It's a wonder I didn't get attacked by some wild animals just coming up the mountain." He wasn't talking as much as she had hoped, but she continued to try and spark some kind of conversation.

"That would have been impossible."

"You sound pretty sure about that." Skeptical to provoke a response, she lifted a brow.

"No one enters my domain without me knowing. I made sure you were not harmed."

"Thank you." Surprised, she wondered if he did that for every traveler, including her father.

"You were defenseless. I had no other choice." The gruffness in his voice spoke of discomfort with her continued gratitude, his head lowering even further into his chest to block her out with his hair.

"You could have left me." Lightly disagreeing with his declaration, she studied his reaction closely, intrigued by this sudden transformation. Uncomfortable, and wishing to be free of the subject, the lord dropped his chopsticks and reached for his teacup.

"I require more tea."

Shrugging, Kaoru obliged, carefully refilling his teacup with steaming liquid. It gave him the chance to consider her, wondering why everything felt so different when there was much that was the same. "Thank you… Kaoru-dono." She looked at him sharply, questioning her own name on his lips.

"Huh." The odd expression on her face didn't waver as she sat back and replaced the teapot on the table. "My name sounds… different when you say it." With the old accent on his tongue and the manner in which he spoke, it transformed her plain, average name into something more dignified. A name to almost be proud of. She smiled. "I like it. Though… you don't have to be so formal. I'm not a lady."

He half-frowned, feeling the gap between their generations. "It would be offensive and improper to refer to you any other way."

"Okaay… I guess I can live with it." Giving in as it was clearly upsetting him, she shrugged again and used the opportunity to ask for his own name. "So what should I call you?"

He was slow to reply. "My name is Kenshin."

_Oh, so he's Kenshin. Should've seen that one coming._ "Just Kenshin?"

The frown that hadn't left his face deepened. "It will do."

Dubious, she found she was beginning to feel a little bad for him, even though she really didn't understand why, yet. "If that's what you want… Kenshin-sama." She smiled softly this time, not the forced one of their first meeting, and although he didn't smile back, his frown did disappear.

Their supper returned to silence, or rather the quiet click of chopsticks and muted hooting of an owl outside. It was really peaceful, and Kaoru was able to forget for a time that she was there for any other reason than a purely social visit: the _guest_ Tae had claimed her to be. It made her wonder what her childhood would have been like if her father had allowed her to come to the palace once a year as he had been instructed to. She would have grown to know this Lord Kenshin and all of his servants just like old friends. Perhaps even shared secrets and moments of joy. The sorrow that tinged the thought surprised her, but she knew it was only because she'd never really had a friend.

Looking up once more to study this palace master, this samurai she did not know, she frowned as her eyes slid over him. His poise was perfect; his back straight, his muscles relaxed and yet aware. Only his head bowed too heavily forward, to no doubt allow the long, overgrown bangs to cover his face. There was something off about the picture, though, and it had nothing to do with his appearance. When her eyes finally focused on his hands she felt the last traces of anger, sadness, annoyance, and bitterness dispel, leaving her with the small bud of sympathy from earlier.

It was easy to see the pride in the lord's posture. It had in fact been evident since her first sighting of him. Kaoru really had not held that against him, either, since he was supposed to be nobility of some kind and a samurai to boot. That pride was in serious question now, however, and in the back of her mind Kaoru felt a little shameful for being so hard on him before. Not that anything she had said had one thing to do with his situation now, but she couldn't help but feel bad for saying such things when he was struggling to simply use a pair of chopsticks.

It wasn't so much that he didn't know how to hold them, but that his claws were getting in the _way _of holding them. If he did get them set right within his hand, his sharp claws would tear at them. They were only wooden, after all. The poor things were about to break in half, and Kaoru could see by the twitching in his jaw and tightness of his shoulders that any such occurrence would be more than just humiliating. Especially in front of someone he considered his guest.

Thinking quickly, she sat her own chopsticks down and moved to stand. Golden eyes jerked to her immediately, and she tried to smile nicely. "May I be excused for a moment, Kenshin-sama? I won't be gone but a second." He seemed uncertain at first, but nodded, his arm relaxing his hold on the chopsticks and she instantly knew he wouldn't even attempt to eat while she was gone. Not because he wasn't hungry, or because he was trying to be polite, but because he was afraid of splintering the thin wood. _What a prideful man._

Hurrying back into the kitchen, she shut the door softly and looked around for Tae. The room was empty, but there was some noise drifting to her from the direction of the other room. They were all outside eating their own dinner on the veranda, the rest of her friends having shown up to join in, and they all gave her a curious look when she stepped out among them.

"Is there something wrong, Lady Kaoru?"

"No, not at all. I just need to talk with you, Tae-san."

Everyone else seemed appeased by this, and Tae came into the adjoining room without a fuss. Once there, Kaoru brought her to the far side before asking for what she wanted. A part of her knew the lord would not like everyone knowing. It was probably the reason he hadn't dined in front of them for so long.

"Do you have any other chopsticks besides wooden ones?"

Tae seemed confused, but nodded. "Of course, but we usually reserve them for special occasions."

"I need the strongest pair you have, please."

The cook thought it over briefly before hopping her way over to a corner and opening a small box. Fishing around inside, she held out a pair for Kaoru to take. "These are made of ivory, elephant tusk, my lady. Do you think they will do?"

"Perfect." Taking them quickly, she paused in afterthought. "Um… they're not sentimental or anything, are they?"

"Not that I know of… why?"

"No reason." Happy with the answer, Kaoru waved it off and slid open the inside shoji. "Thanks, Tae-san."

The master was still sitting, waiting and unmoving when she reentered, and she tried to hide her mischievous smile when he looked up in surprise as she stooped over him. Reaching for the poor chopsticks in his hand, she slid them out of his loose grip and replaced them with the pair of ivory ones.

"Forgive me, but I didn't think these wooden ones were very fitting for the palace lord. This nice ivory is better suited for you."

At first he seemed astonishingly pleased, his thumb stroking slowly over the smooth surface, and Kaoru genuinely smiled at the chance to do something nice for him. Maybe it was a way for her to atone for the yelling she'd done at him earlier, but Kaoru liked being nice more than anything. It made her happy when she was able to make someone else happy.

Only a moment later, though, and that pride came back. The ivory Tae had promised would be strong snapped like old rotten twigs in his hand. The ends fell to the floor, but his fist did not loosen to release the middle sections, and he stood to tower over her with fuming features. "I do not need you feeling sorry for me."

"I-I wasn't. I was trying to be nice." Stumbling over the half-lie, Kaoru held her ground, even though she now felt even more guilty than she had before. Of course she had felt sorry for him, or she wouldn't have gone after the ivory chopsticks in the first place. "A normal person usually thanks someone when they're being nice."

After the words came out of her mouth Kaoru knew it was the wrong thing to say. The mounting temper spreading over his face burned into fire and the wings at his back snapped open so abruptly she was unable to keep herself from jumping. "Do I look like a normal person to you?"

It was too late to back out of her words now so Kaoru didn't try to, her feet bracing into a defensive stance as she refused to be cowed. "You _look_ like a child throwing a tantrum."

The attack on his pride finally became too much and with an angry snort he twisted in a whip of hair and wings and stalked out the open shoji.

Clenching her jaw to keep from screaming in frustration, all the anger and bitterness of before returned with a vengeance. Turning sharply, Kaoru kicked the cushion on the floor, sending it flying into the wall where it slapped loudly into the wooden frame. "Argh! What a baby!"

See if she ever felt sorry for him again!

X

A/N: lol They're so cute when they fight. They've got some learning to do, it seems.

I realize the last two chapters haven't been too exciting, but hopefully this one was a little better. The next one will be for Kenshin. Should be fun. As always tell me what you thought, and as a warning, concert season is coming up so this might or might not go a little slow. I usually end up having to work my regular forty hours plus another fifteen or so on concert days, so I'm going to be tired. I need the money though. Doctor bills suck, and so does the medication! Why does our economy have to be so far in the crapper we can't even see the light at the top of the bowl? I'm sick of it. Anyway, enough drama, I've had more than enough bs to last me four lifetimes in just the past two weeks. And this heat! Argh! At least I'm somewhere a little cooler than home! 105 degrees! Who turned up the heater? And that's not even counting humidity and heat index and all that other wonderful stuff. Thank God for AC is all I've got to say.

Enough of this… leave a review and tell me to hurry up!


	5. The Lord

Just so no one gets the wrong idea just yet… please remember that Kaoru is only being nice right now because she wants to try and get on Kenshin's good side. She doesn't really hate him, but she's not his biggest fan.

Disclaimer: I own no one's thoughts but my own.

**Chapter 5: The Lord**

Two steps outside the door and her irate shriek and the thump of something hitting the wall caused Kenshin to pause. The scowl on his features grimaced. She was so temperamental and nothing like he remembered. It made him wonder why he even wanted her there.

Off the porch and standing in the middle of the yard, he let his wings spread wide to shift and play with the cool night breeze. One quick snap took him into the sky, their leathery expanse working hard to lift his weight until an updraft could lessen the labor. The effort did not bother him as much tonight. He needed an outlet for his anger.

Pity, sympathy, or even fake pleasantries were none of the reasons he had wished for her presence. Landing with an abrupt jerk on the roof of the main hall, he dug his claws into the wooden tiles, staring with narrowed eyes off into the night. The last thing he wanted from anyone was sorrow over his apparent plight. What did anyone know about him? Even his servants, everyone that now lived under the press of his punishment, knew nothing. What difference would it make if they did? What difference would it make if anyone knew?

None. Even if she knew. _Especially_ if she knew. That _girl_ understood nothing of his life.

Growling under his breath he lifted his still clenched fist, unfurling his fingers to gaze down upon the broken pieces of ivory left over from her audacious gesture. He had seen it in her eyes and on her face from the very first moment she had caught sight of him. Pity. For the scales on his skin, the horns on his head, and the claws on his hands. Those blue irises didn't even see him. They saw this covering, this costume he was forced to wear at all times. It was just like anyone else who had ever seen him. Whether terror or sympathy, it didn't matter, because it only meant he was being treated as inferior. This Kaoru was nothing like the girl he had known before. Age, it seemed, was her condemning curse.

This was all her father's fault. If he had only sent the girl like he had been told she would even now look upon him as a familiar face, without the clouding judgment of adult eyes. There would be no awkward tension and she would know there was no need for her sickeningly false actions of kindness. He didn't want kindness, he didn't even want company, he wanted his life back.

Not that he was fooling himself into believing she could give that to him. No one living in this new world could give that to him. The old ways had died out long ago, and he was all that was left. The rules had changed with society. There was nothing to discover, no thrilling fear of spontaneity. Everything was so planned and rigid and _known_. The dignity of everyday life was slowly disappearing. This new land once owned and ruled over by his father no longer had the same values. Even if he _was_ to be freed… he didn't want this new life.

_She is worthless to me. I will send her back…_

The memory of that happily smiling face relaxed his muscles just barely, knowing he had seen its ghost on her lips today.

…_in a few days._

Standing gruffly, he turned his back to the view of the village below. _I still need to punish her father, after all._

Amber eyes landed on the small shrine tucked away to his left, the soft moonlight illuminating its shining walls. Something dark still sat at the top of its entrance stairs, and Kenshin cast aside his confused and bitter anger for another type of irritation. Leaping from the palace roof on silent wings, he circled the building once as he descended, landing gracefully in the dirt and folding his wings at his back.

The large wolf still camped out on the porch acknowledged him with one lazy eye before swishing his tail and letting it fall shut. It was blatant disrespect, but Saitou had never liked him. Kenshin could not say he had ever liked the wolf, either.

"Do you have more _commands_ to give me, little lordling, or am I free to go?"

The words were a challenge, but Kenshin hated the effort it took to banter with his quick witted tongue. Besides, on that night, he didn't have the patience to put up with the aggravation that was sure to follow.

"Go."

The snarl had no affect on Saitou, and Kenshin watched as he picked himself up and trotted down the stairs, his large muzzle nodding in mock deference. With all the hits his pride was taking in one night, Kenshin's snarl turned into a threat.

"Just remember, the next time you show your teeth to my guest, I'll make your wife a widow."

Sharp ears pinned back angrily, but the look on his face told Kenshin he had gotten the point, and believed he would follow through. "Yes, sir." The reply itself was almost satisfying, and Kenshin felt some of the tension in his shoulders dissipate. Smirking at the small victory he padded his way up the steps, his talons clicking on the wood.

No one entered the shrine, Kenshin had made that clear from day one. Over the years he himself had rarely set foot within its walls. To be honest he avoided the place as if it were hell itself, and for him, it almost was.

As the door slid shut behind him, the uncomfortable stiffness in his being returned tenfold, the atmosphere unwelcoming and prickly against his skin. An eerie glow lit the interior with partial luminance, shadowing the multiple branches of a tree and the walkway surrounding it. In the beginning the light had been stronger, shining like high noon even at midnight. Now, however, its strength was greatly diminished, only a muted flickering coming from the last two cherry blossoms hanging onto blackening limbs. It was a sign… his time was almost gone.

Then his true punishment would begin.

"A visitor?" A dark figure appeared next to the tree, halfway hiding behind its solid trunk. The agitation inside him trembled with fury and fear. He hated being afraid. "I haven't had a visitor in awhile now."

"I have not come to see you."

Suddenly the figure was closer, just within the branches, their craggily arms wrapping around it as if in an embrace. "But you are here, and I am the only one to see."

The soft light was now behind the being, outlining its shape on one side and giving detail to their person. It was a woman, her cheek pale, her hair dark, and her stature elegant. Kenshin thought that perhaps she was beautiful, but his hatred for her had eclipsed all other observations besides the annoying all-knowing of her personality.

"Have you come to check your time?"

Now she was next to the blossoms, her hands reaching to cup one in her palms. Their radiance shown fully upon her face, depicting all of her perfect features. The light shimmered in her black eyes and sparkled off the delicate skin of her long fingers. A small smile graced her lips, a rare showing of her pleasure. "You do not have much left."

"Neither do you." Resentful, he tossed the knowledge back in her face.

"I know." To his displeasure her smile only widened. "But you are the only one who should be worried. Once the hourglass has emptied there will be no turning back."

"At least I will no longer have to deal with you." Trying to act indifferent, he growled back, but she paid him no heed.

"No, Lord Himura, only yourself… for all of eternity."

Seething, his temper broke once more that evening. "Why did you not just kill me?"

"To live is a much greater punishment." Her hands dropped and she stepped back into the shadows. "You could easily take your own life if you are not brave enough to face the consequences."

"I would never let you win so easily!" Shouting, his voice reverberating inside the small enclosure, his talons scratched harshly into the wood beneath his feet as his toes clenched. The shaking of her head was all that greeted his outburst.

"Winning was never the point, young lord. If you still do not understand that, then you will never be free of that form. You are the same selfish child you were a thousand years ago."

"I have been called a child one too many times today." His voice was a low growl of warning, but he could not intimidate her. Instead the statement peaked her curiosity, causing her to materialize on the walk next to him.

"You have, young lord?" She stepped closer and he tried to retreat, but found there was no where to go. "But who among your vassals would be bold enough to insult you so openly?"

"My servants obey me implicitly." Disliking the implication, he gave away what she wanted without thinking.

"A newcomer?" Excitement peppered her tone and he felt a touch of her magic as it brushed across him, making his skin crawl. A moment later and her hands were probing his clenched fist, the touch like cold soup, and he jerked his arm away to stall the churning of his stomach. Unsettled by the contact, his hand released the broken chopsticks, letting them fall to the floor. They were in her possession before he could protest.

"You've been in an argument over these. They resent you for breaking them." They twirled in the air before her, glowing with her magic as she studied them. "They've been shut away for a long time, and have obtained the scent of their musty container, but I still detect a hint of… jasmine. They liked being held by… _her_." Her gaze returned to him, her black eyes glinting. "They wished only to please her, by pleasing you. But you hurt them and they resent you… they resent you for hurting her." The ivory pieces stopped spinning to float motionless between them. "You have a lady in your palace, Lord Himura. How interesting." There was the barest hint of a smile in her voice.

"She can hardly be considered a lady." Looking away, his original annoyance of the night came rushing back, reminding him of everything he did not like about this Kaoru now staying at his castle.

"A girl, a female, a woman; call her whatever you like, but a lady is still present. And she has dug herself under your skin. Is that why you have come to visit me?" A small gasp echoed through the room, and she breathlessly giggled. "My last visitor was a girl, and she had the most pleasant scent of jasmine about her. Is it she? Has she come back? You must bring her here to visit me."

"Don't presume to tell me what to do." Swinging out his hand sharply, he slapped the hovering pieces of ivory out of the air, sending them to land in a layer of pink dust below the tree. "She will never come near this place ever again. I will make sure of it."

Wrenching the door open to leave, his jaw trembled at the amusement in her voice. "But you can't watch her all the time. She will eventually find her way back to me. She does have something of mine after all, and I will ultimately want it back."

Slamming the door shut on her declaration, he stomped back down the stairs, even more furious now than when he had arrived. That woman always had the same effect on him, though, and he was unsure of his own reasons for going there to begin with. Perhaps, just as she had said, he had gone only to check his time.

Sighing, his eyes closed. By mid-summer all of the petals would be gone and he would finally be free of the wicked hope that woman had planted within his mind. A small seed of chance that whispered of his liberty from her curse. After a thousand years there was only one truth Kenshin now understood… there was nothing in this world that could fulfill such a dream.

Kenshin was not even sure if he knew what exactly needed to be done to break the curse. The witch had told him upfront when she had first cast the spell, completely open with the details of his blight, but it was so complicated and confusing. He had told her so once, a few hundreds years ago, but she had only looked at him with pity in her eyes. The same pity he had witnessed in Kaoru's an hour before.

Kenshin hated being pitied, more than anything in his life.

Everything was already apparent, clear, and forthright; he was going to end up living like this forever. _Forever. _Even longer than the stars. Nothing would be left beneath his feet and still he would live on, trapped in the reflected form of his heart; a blood red beast designed only for death, destruction, and misery. There was no reason for _her _to be there.

He hadn't even planned on keeping her after the next summer came anyway. He'd only wanted… to see her face again; to see that smile. But she was no longer a child, she was a woman. A pretty woman… when she wasn't yelling.

_I should not have even made her come. This was all a waste of time… _

In flight before he finished the thought, Kenshin aimed for the pavilion that was to be hers. If there was no reason for her to stay then he would let her know tonight so that she could leave in the morning. He wanted her gone before she completely ruined the small amount of peace he had claimed.

The inner room of the building was lit only by a single candle when he landed on the veranda, spilling light out of the crack in her shoji. Soft, feminine voices were drifting through the night air, and Kenshin cursed his luck at finding her already engaged. It was easy to tell with whom, as well, considering Misao had a very distinctive voice. Settling his back to one of the pillars, he crossed his arms to wait, determined to be rid of her.

"You didn't pack more than one kimono, milady. Are you planning on wearing these men's clothing?"

"Why not? It's not like I'm trying to impress anybody, and besides, they're more comfortable anyway."

"I'm not so sure the lord will like that too much."

"What do I care what he thinks?" The permanent frown on Kenshin's face deepened another notch with her cool answer. "He obviously doesn't care what I think."

"He's just not used to you yet, I'm sure he does care a little." The statement sounded doubtful, even to him.

"Right, because screaming in someone's face is the best way to show respect."

"Well… he has been peerless for quite some time. I think he's having a hard time dealing with someone who can actually criticize him without consequences."

"It wasn't like there weren't any consequences." There was a laugh in her tone… it lightened his frown. "Besides, all of you have been around him far longer than anyone else. Why wouldn't you be able to speak to him familiarly? Doesn't he consider you his friend?"

"Uh…" Amber eyes darted to the gap in the door, confused himself why she would even think something like that. Didn't she know they were only his servants? "I mean…" A shadow moved in front of the candle, and Kenshin realized then that she must have been changing out of her kimono into a sleeping robe. "That necklace is very beautiful, Kaoru-dono! Where did you get it?"

Kenshin recognized the servant girl's avoidance of Kaoru's question, but Kaoru had no qualms in letting herself be sidetracked. Truth be told, Kenshin was a little curious about Misao's inquiry himself.

"You like it?" A soft slither of metal on metal suggested she had taken it off. "Father told me my mother gave it to me." The tension in Kenshin's back relaxed, and he was surprised to find he was disappointed.

"You don't remember yourself?"

"No. I was only five when she died of the sickness. I only have a few memories of her, but they were all good ones. None of them include the necklace though."

"So… do you wear it all the time in remembrance of your mother?"

"I… well, I won't lie and say it doesn't have some sentimentality because it was a gift from her, but… I don't know, it's just special somehow… in a different way."

"It looks kind of like a cherry blossom petal, don't it?"

Kenshin went very still.

"You think so? Me too! Dad always said it was probably some cheap piece of glass, but I don't really believe that. For one thing, it's too pretty."

Swallowing with difficulty, Kenshin stood straight and carefully stepped through the outer doors of her pavilion into the hallway.

"For another, it kind of glows, like it's absorbed the light around it and holds it in. It's even warm sometimes… though that might just be because I wear it under my kimono all the time." She laughed again, but this time he was able to watch the mirth crinkle her features through the cracked shoji of her room. Kneeling on the floor in a yukata, she was holding out her arm towards the weasel, and dangling a necklace from her hand. It was a simple silver chain with a piece of silver wire attached to it. He would have recognized it anywhere.

"Also, it's easy to tell the craftsmanship is special as well. Look at how the wire is bent around the flower petal. It was done so very carefully. Whoever made this has very gentle hands." Bringing the necklace closer to her face, blue eyes smiled at the ornament hanging from its chain. "Gentle hands mean a gentle heart."

Misao made some kind of reply but Kenshin did not hear it as he snuck away. Head bowed once more, his eyes stared at the upturned palms of his own hands; at the callused skin covering the pads of his fingers. The anger he had felt all evening was gone, and he no longer had any desire to send her away.

_M-maybe I shall do it tomorrow._

X

A/N: A little bit of insight on how Kenshin thinks, and it looks like he's not quite so sure he likes Kaoru. Some hinting of the past, and Kaoru's going to be wearing men's clothes. heehee What's this stuffy little lord going to do about a tomboy running around his palace? Especially since she doesn't follow protocol like he thinks she should. He's about to get a crash course on independent women.

Hope it was entertaining. Leave a review please and thank you.


	6. The Lady and Her Accessories

**Please read notes, they have information on story details that were changed.**

Alright, more info for my story was given to me, and I've done some research as well. Nothing extensive, so I doubt it is completely accurate or anything, but I had to do some modifying to my palace structure and descriptions. Thankfully so far it wasn't anything major, just a couple minor details that were incorrect.

One being the ceramic tiles on the roofs. They stopped using those around the time I've made Kenshin from, so they were typically cypress shingles instead, or thatching, but he's a noble, so the shingles are better. Secondly, they did not have two story structures, they had separate buildings for the residents of the house. So, Kaoru is not staying on the second floor of anything. She will have her own pavilion. The extent of information on this is exhausting, so I'm going to try and keep it simple, but at the same time I'm going to try and make it extensive. If that makes any sense. XD

Oh, and the dinning hall… which is more than likely something I made up, but am going to keep… would not have been so close to the kitchens. They would have dined in a different area, separate from the kitchen. So I have divided it by a covered walk, and the kitchens and washing room are a building standing alone connected only by the walks.

Everything else I've learned I am going to incorporate into the rest of the story, and so I hope you will have a better idea of what the palace grounds and layout look like after possibly this chapter, if not later ones. Thanks for the patience and attention to these ramblings. Enjoy the chapter.

Special thanks again to sirenmergirl… you've been a life saver.

Disclaimer: I have some… but this isn't one of them.

**Chapter 6: The Lady's Accessories**

Kaoru had the strangest sensation of déjà vu as she stared up at the shadowed ceiling above her. She had been dreaming, but she could not remember of what. Still half-asleep, her fuzzy brain gave up pretty easily and let her eyes drag back closed as she vaguely wondered why she was even awake yet anyway. It was still dark, after all, with not even the moonlight penetrating the crevices in her window. No need to be up.

_Window?_ Eyes flying open as her mind snapped into wakefulness, she craned her neck around quickly to look for the window of her room. It wasn't there. _This isn't my room!_ Scrambling out of the bedclothes, she felt panic rise in her chest when she didn't recognize where she was. Backing herself into a corner, breathing heavily, she searched what she could see of the dark interior, willing herself to remember and calm down. Slow and surly her brain clicked all the pieces together and she dropped her head with an irritated sigh.

_Of course this isn't my room, I'm not at home any more, idiot. Well… I suppose it is my room now, but… oh you get the point! You are just fine so stop freaking out!_

The necklace under her yukata brushed across her skin and she wrapped a hand around it, pressing its warmth against her cheek. It was peaceful, as always, and she sighed again as she felt her muscles relax. _This is so disorienting, though. How am I supposed to tell what time of day it is if I can't see outside from here?_

Fumbling her way across the room, she tripped over the futon before finding her way to the only door leading out of the smaller room of her pavilion. On the other side was the living space, and it was lightened considerable by the rice-papered panels and the one wall of shoji. With the amount of light she could see, it was apparent she was late for breakfast. Of course, she wasn't exactly sure when breakfast was served in this "noble" house, but at home her father was usually up before the crack of dawn, teasing her out of bed with the scent of food.

_No morning light to tell the time and no sweet aroma of cooking food to lure me awake… I miss home._ Suddenly mournful, she spent a moment feeling homesick and sorry for herself. This place was so foreign to her. What did she know of etiquette or nobility? She was a simple girl with simple wants and needs, most of which she could fulfill herself. This fancy house with separate quarters and covered walks was too wide spread for her and her familiarity with convenience and function. As it was, she was going to have to walk halfway across the palace grounds just to get to the dining room.

_Oh, alright, so you've had your whining for the day. Just shut up and get over it. You've clearly misunderstood what the smaller room was meant for, and you were probably supposed to sleep out her in the larger room so you can wake up on time. And what's a small walk going to hurt? Besides, you're going to need that walk to clear your head before seeing that arrogant noble-boy again._ Sticking out her tongue she stretched as she walked across the room, intent on finding something to wear for the day. Pulling out her training gear she let a slow smile tug her lips as she remembered what Misao had told her the night before. _If he's so hell bent on propriety I'll just see how far I can shock him. This'll be fun. He deserves it after that spat last night._

Slipping out of her sleeping robe and into the gi, she adjusted it appropriately before jumping into the hakama. Tying it off with a deft knot, she made sure her breast bindings were covering all the right areas and tucked her necklace down under their soft linen where it lay warm against her sternum. Finding her comb, she untangled her hair and tied it up into a high pony tail. Deciding herself ready for the day, she let herself out the shoji and stepped down into the surrounding hall. Heading toward the north side of the house and to the exit she pushed open the outer tsumado, a pair of solid wooden doors that swung outward on hinges.

It was crisp and slightly cool outside, causing her to shiver and cross her arms over her chest to rub warmth into her arms. Something else she was going to have to get used to, the cooler climate up the mountain. Taking a left, she skirted around the edge of her own eastern pavilion, walking down the veranda and across the side of the northern pavilion at the back of the estate. Briefly she glanced at the closed tsumado, wondering what each of these buildings were used for.

As she came closer to the kitchens and the dining hall she began to smell the sweet fragrance of breakfast, and her stomach woke up to demand its due. Tae was a wonderful cook, and Kaoru was more than a little excited to see what she was going to get served today. The meal from the night before had been an experience unto its own. Yawning, she pushed open the shoji leading into the dining room before throwing both arms behind her head to stretch. Halfway to the table she noticed Kenshin was already waiting.

Feeling just slightly impish, she grinned as he eyed her outfit. "Good morning." He returned the greeting slowly, still taken aback by her clothes. When his eyes lingered a little too long on her breast bindings she lost her playfulness and crossed her arms instead. "Hey, pervert, eyes up here."

A roll of those amber eyes brought his head back forward toward the table and he snorted. "I'm surprised you had the decency to wear _any _underclothes."

"You're one to talk, walking around here half-naked!" Suppressing the urge to kick him, she instead stomped her way around him and to her own seat. Besides, with her luck, she would probably kick him right at the v-slit in his hakama, and since he wasn't wearing a kimono it was all bare skin. _He's probably not even wearing a loin cloth. Ahh, now who's the pervert?_

He didn't comment on her observation and she was left to stew in her own discomfort and indignity. It seemed they couldn't go even thirty seconds within each other's company without getting into a fight. Getting on his good side was becoming a distant dream by the minute.

Hands fisting in his lap, Kenshin stared down at the bare table. What was the woman thinking coming to breakfast dressed like a man? Surely that was indecent even for her era. Was she making fun of him, or was she just being stubborn? And now she was accusing him of being a pervert! Like she had enough there to be staring at anyway. It was the necklace that interested him. He could still see its shiny silver chain lying against her perfect white skin before it disappeared below the linen of her wrappings. She had said she wore it all the time, and even if she was ignorant of its true origin, the thought did please him.

Feeling a small smile tug his lips, he ducked his head further.

"I think I'll go see if Tae-san needs any help bringing in the food." Wanting to get out of the thick and awkward atmosphere, Kaoru started to rise.

"Sit down." His command was quick and he frowned at the challenging look that narrowed her eyes. "They will handle it."

"I just want to help." A delighted laugh interrupted their staring contest and Kaoru looked behind her to watch Tae and another come in with the tray between them.

"You are just impatient, my lady. We are coming and we haven't spilled a drop, I promise." A large wink of one brown eye made Kaoru smile and she sat back down on her cushion to wait for them to unload the tray of food in front of her. Two others filed in next with the second tray of food for Kenshin, and Tae left the first tray to her helper to personally serve her master.

Keeping his head lowered he whispered a quiet thanks to his cook and her smile was softer as she set his dishes perfectly before him.

"You are greatly welcome, my lord."

Unaware of any such exchange, or the way Tae had helped Kenshin to keep her from doing anything but what was expected of a guest, Kaoru let her eyes wander over the delicious meal. A few more seconds and the servants were leaving, her anticipation growing at the thought of getting to eat. Kenshin would start the meal, like he had the evening before, but before she could look up to wait her eyes caught sight of the chopsticks they had set out. A beautiful pair of pure white ivory chopsticks, to be exact.

Thinking of Kenshin's reaction to her suggestion of them the night before and of how easily they had broken with his temper, she turned with an inhaled breath to speak with Tae only to find the door shutting between them. _Great. We've already had an argument this morning, his attitude's fast going downhill, and this will probably throw him off the deep end. I don't really feel like fighting again, but this is more than likely my fault, too. I did ask Tae about them last night, so she probably only set them out because she thought I wanted them._ Looking up tentatively she found Kenshin still unaffected, his hands unfolding from his lap to reach for his chopsticks. Obviously he hadn't recognized the difference yet. _Or maybe I'll get lucky and she only set them out for me._

The pair he picked up were unquestionably the same ivory as hers, however, and his eyes briefly looked them over as he situated them with his fingers. Then he began to eat; not a word, or a look, or a restrained huff of breath to hint at his anger. Staring in quiet wonder, she watched him continue to eat without one problem, not even because of his claws. _At least they work like I thought they would. I should probably pretend I don't notice them, though, or he might decide to remember and throw another tantrum._ Lowering her eyes quickly to her own meal, she picked up the chopsticks and ate.

Breakfast turned out to be rather uneventful and calm, and when it was over he excused himself from the table and left. Waving him off from her thoughts, she focused herself on the tasks she wished to accomplish. Namely a thorough scrubbing of every room she could get her hands on. First, she would help clean up the table.

Piling up as many dishes as she could carry, she let herself out the back shoji and balanced her load carefully across the walkway to the kitchens. Tae gave her an exasperated look when she walked in, but Kaoru merely smiled and sat them down where directed.

"At least I waited until he left." Tae shook her head on a soft chuckle.

"For that, at least, I will be grateful. But what are you wearing, my lady? They look like men's clothing."

"They are." Shrugging, she leaned into the wall. "They're more comfortable than my kimono, and besides, it'll be easier to help clean up around here in pants."

"I doubt the lord found them very proper, and I promised him that I would try to keep you away from anything unsuitable to your standing."

_He didn't have one problem with the full view of my breast bindings, the pervert._ "He doesn't have to look if he finds it offensive, and just because he's ordered me to live here doesn't mean my _standing_ has changed any from the daughter of a simple dojo master. I am used to doing all the laundry and cleaning." The look of exasperation on Tae's face deepened into resignation, and Kaoru felt momentarily guilty. "Well, I can't cook or sew very well, so at least you won't have to worry about me trying to butt in on any of that."

The other's in the room began to giggle, which made Kaoru grin to hide her embarrassment, and Tae laughed. "I suppose the key word is _try_, my lady. Since he has ordered us to treat you just as we would a lady of the house, your word holds as much sway as his. However, so that it doesn't look like we have disregarded his orders completely, we shall simply turn this into a little game, hmm?"

"A game?" Intrigued and confused at the same time, Kaoru lifted a brow.

"To see who cleans the best and quickest. I shall assign you a number of servants to help you and then set others up against you on the opposite side of the palace. If you cross the halfway point first, you win, if they do, they win."

"Sounds like fun. I always like some competition."

"I only have one request. Your team will not clean the lord's quarters at the center of the palace grounds. To divide up that section evenly, I will have you clean the pavilion just to the north of his."

"Alright. So what's the prize?"

"Prize?"

"Of course. You can't play a game without a prize for the winner."

"Very well… I shall make a special dessert, but you do understand this isn't going to be a one day job. This palace is huge."

"Why do you think I'm so eager to work on it?" Fluffing her bangs, Kaoru half turned away, slightly sobered. "I need something to keep me busy, otherwise I'll have too much time to think."

"I understand, my lady." Wishing to dispel the sadness beginning to darken her pretty blue eyes, Tae shooed the others into the wash room, and waved a hand back towards the dining area. "Why don't you start on the dining hall while I hunt down your temporary staff?"

"Okay." Pulling herself out of her funk, Kaoru put the smile back on her face and stood straight. "Oh, Tae-san, before I forget. About the chopsticks…"

"Yes, I was meaning to ask you about that myself. The lord must have been very pleased with the pair you requested from me last night because he ordered them special at every meal from now on. But I seem to have misplaced a pair of them… do you know what happened to the pair I gave you?"

"Uh…" _He specifically asked for them himself? What a confusing man._ "I'm not sure, Tae-san. Have you asked Kenshin-sama?"

"No, I thought they were for you. Did you give them to him, then?"

"Well, I…" _Stop stuttering like a fool and come up with a good excuse. It's obvious he wouldn't want them knowing about the problem he has eating with them so…_ "The pair he was eating with looked a little worn, Tae-san, and he has such a strong grip… I mean, I assume he does, since he's a samurai… that I was sure they weren't going to hold up for long. So I thought I'd ask for a stronger pair, and it was a perfect coincidence that you gave me something so pretty looking because then I would have a better excuse for him when I brought them back, because of his status as lord and all, but…" Tae's arms were crossed and Kaoru sighed in defeat as her stammering only twisted her around. "Oh, he got offended anyway and broke them on purpose. I'm sorry, Tae-san."

Tae sighed herself and grinned at the scene they had no doubt made over a silly pair of chopsticks. "No need to apologize, Lady Kaoru. I only wanted to know what had happened to them. Things get broken, it's a natural occurrence."

"But I was just trying to be nice to him and he threw it back in my face. I mean… you did say he was trying to be nice to me, so I thought… well, it would be a good idea to return the favor."

"Come here, my lady, and let me tell you a secret." Wrapping her small fingers around Kaoru's arm as she leaned close, Tae whispered her next words so that only the two of them could hear. "The young lord has a few things going against him that you must remember and take into consideration. For one, he is a spoiled child of a lord and is not used to strong willed women. For another, he is a man, and that should explain most of it on its own." Kaoru giggled and nodded her head in silent agreement. "But also, my lady, please remember that even though our lord has us here with him… he has been alone. I would say even before…" Tae trailed off as if uncertain she should say anymore. It was the second time Kaoru had seen one of the servants do this with her, and it made her wonder once more what about this place had made it the way it now was.

"Before what?"

"Before…" Searching for another way to word her sentence, she swallowed and continued. "he became our lord. I think, in my heart, he has felt alone ever since the death of his mother."

"Oh." _So he lost his mother as well._

"If there is one thing I have learned, Kaoru-dono, it is to let a man come to a decision on his own. Most of the time all he needs is a soft amount of coaxing on your part and within a day at the most he will be suggesting your idea as if it were his."

"That sounds kind of manipulative." Skeptical, Kaoru leaned away from the cook.

"Perhaps a little, but for him it will also be patient and nurturing. After awhile he will begin to see the advantage of learning from your lead and act with more respect towards you as a person and friend. Hasn't our lord already shown growth of this kind?"

"What, by asking for the chopsticks himself?"

"Yes. Also, in this case, it is a way of apologizing for his actions towards you without hurting his pride."

"Well if you ask me he's got a little too much pride. An apology would do that man wonders."

Tae laughed and nodded. "All in good time, Lady Kaoru. You cannot change a man in one night."

X

Another day was past and it seemed to Kaoru that this lord she was supposed to be here for wanted little to do with her. Only at meal times did she see him, and even then he spoke only as much as necessary. Though his eyes displayed enough disapproval on their own.

It was apparently obvious what she was spending her time doing as she came to lunch covered in cobwebs and smudges of dirt. So it was only natural he would be upset to see her in such a state. Especially at the dinner table. A part of her was determined to teach him a different lesson than the one Tae had suggested, however. If she was going to live here for the rest of her life she wanted him to know she would do as she pleased, no matter what he thought of it.

It was nice to finally be clean, though, and Kaoru sighed in delight as she knelt in front of her small vanity and brushed her damp hair with a comb. Her rooms were clean as well, now, and she felt much better knowing she wouldn't have to worry about spiders or the musty stench of dust and decay. In a few days Tae had promised her they would get the palace artist to come in and redo the paintings on her screens. If she liked, she could request a different scene to reflect her personality. As Kaoru wasn't quite sure what the lord would consider appropriate, and she still thought of everything as belonging to him, she was going to content herself with the original design and call it good.

It was rather pretty, anyway. Everything about the palace was beautiful, and as she helped her new friends clean away the layers of dirt, she found herself falling in love with the olden structure. It was very traditional and elegant, and in a way she liked how formal it was. Strange for her to think so but sometimes the proper way Kenshin conducted himself was charming, too. Other times it was just annoying, but there were some appealing aspects to it.

Yawning, Kaoru set down the comb and began pleating her hair for bed. _I did learn some new things about my host, though. He lost his mother. Probably when he was young, since Tae-san made it sound like she had died before he became the lord. From the sounds of it she was the only one that gave him any attention. I bet his father was really strict with him. I doubt there was much love between them. So I suppose… he really has been alone. I still need to remember to ask for a date, though. I don't have one clue how old anyone is here._

Pulling the long braid over her shoulder so she could finish the weave, a sparkle of light captured her attention by her chest. Smiling at the necklace, she tied off her hair, flipped it over her shoulder, and turned around so she could lean back against the vanity. She'd had one other encounter with the master that day, and it surprised her even now that anything he would say to her could make her happy. Kaoru had felt sure he would be as negative with her as always, what with the position he'd found her in.

Kneeling on the wooden floor, scrubbing the planking to let its shining surface show through, she'd looked up to find him standing over her. Since she was outside working on the walkways no one else was near, and they were free to speak in private. Perhaps it was the only reason he had approached her to begin with.

The look in his eyes was not angry, and he was once again not meeting her own irises but gazing just slightly south of her chin. Indignation rose swiftly, thinking of how rude he was being when she had already called him out on staring at her breast bindings once before. Before she could give him a resounding lecture, however, he had spoken over her.

"_That is a beautiful necklace, Kaoru-dono. It must be… very valuable."_

Surprised by his subject, and more than pleased by his compliment, Kaoru sat back on her heels and plucked the necklace off her chest.

"_Thank you."_

"_Are you not afraid you might break it? Especially if you… insist on doing such menial chores?" _His features twitched and she tried to keep herself from laughing.

"_Sometimes, but I've always worn it. I would feel strange without it, and besides… I've had it appraised once and I was told it's not really worth much."_ When she looked up a frown was tugging back on the permanent lines around his eyes and mouth. Somehow he seemed offended by the knowledge. _"It's not like I would sell it even if it was worth a lot, anyway. It's valuable to me, and I'm glad you think it's pretty, Kenshin-sama. I've never had anyone compliment me on it until I came here."_

"_Then perhaps no one else has any taste. Excuse me."_ With a polite bow and a side-step he was leaving her there, going off to do whatever passed the time for him.

Sighing, Kaoru played with the delicate bauble, running her thumb over the silver wire. Now that they'd had a conversation about the necklace, it was clear to her just where is interest had been directed before breakfast. And it certainly wasn't at her chest. Rolling her eyes, she stuck out her tongue, feeling embarrassed now about her outburst. Of course he wouldn't stare at her in such an obscene way. He actually had manners, unlike some of the boys in the village. It was beneath him to be so crude.

And he liked her necklace. Smiling, she let the bauble fall and stood to stretch. Perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.

X

"_What are you doing, Kenshin?"_

"_I am making sure you never lose this."_

"_But what are you doing?"_

_Laughter filled the air. It was amused, slightly surprised by itself. Almost as if the laughter was not expected or had not been heard in many years. A hand came down on her head, ruffling her hair, and she pouted out a lip._

"_I will let you keep this on one condition, little one. You must keep it with you, always."_

"_Okay… but what are you doing to my flower petal?"_

"_I am making you a necklace so that you may wear it around your neck. This wire will make sure the petal stays safe and protected. Is this alright?"_

"_Hmm… okay." Leaning over one of his crossed legs, the girl propped her chin on her hands, her elbows braced on his knee. "Will you promise to make it a pretty necklace, Kenshin? I want to show it to my mommy when I get home."_

"_I will try, little one, but I'm afraid… I do not know much about pretty things."_

"_That's okay, I'll help you learn, Kenshin."_

"… _I would appreciate that, Kaoru-chan."_

X

A/N: I don't think this turned out exactly how I had planned, but it ended up being fun anyway. I'm trying not to get lost in obscure details, but this is turning out to be much more complicated than I had originally thought. I think I've said this before in one of my other stories, so I bet none of you are surprised…lol. Anyway, they've still got quite a bit of learning to do about each other, and I want to start bringing in some of the other characters and back story into this. Ever since I did some research on the Heian Period I've been having fun with Kenshin's dad and family, so his pretty simple back story has turned into a little bit of a complicated subject. Hope you'll stick around for it, and that I'm not losing anyone. Can't say I blame you at the moment, it's just a little slow right now. Promise I will be trying to make it more interesting after this. Leave a review and thanks for your patience with the details I had to change.


	7. Serving Memories

Everyone liked the little flashback dream at the end of the last chapter. I'm hoping to let you see a little at a time as to what happened when Kaoru visited before. Kaoru still doesn't remember yet, but other things are getting complicated, too, so go on and read it!

Disclaimer: No way.

**Chapter 7: Serving Memories **

Misao wasn't awake even though her eyes were wide open. She could tell because she was once more back in her body. Her human body. Before her was the face she had longed to see for centuries; the cropped black hair, the cool blue eyes. The face of the man she loved.

At that moment he was confessing his own feelings for her, his words hesitant and slightly awkward in his unfamiliarity with expressing emotion. A tight ball of impatience was building inside her chest, and she wanted nothing more than to throw herself in his arms and cut off his slow speech. She withstood the temptation by shifting her weight from one foot to the other and twisting her hands together, her lip suffering abuse from her teeth. After a few seconds his mouth titled upward as he took notice of the signs of her eagerness and let his words taper off into silence, content to just look upon her. One of his elegant, long fingered hands reached for her face, and she knew without needing to be told that she was practically beaming with joy. Too long had she waited for this moment.

A noise from the front gate interrupted his intention, and Misao jerked her head around as if looking would tell her what she could not see through the many other structures that stood in the way. A startled shout lurched at her stomach, and she knew something had gone terribly wrong. Whatever was happening, it was not good.

A hand wrapped around her own and she darted her eyes up to the man standing next to her, his features no longer relaxed in happiness but tightened once more in his guardian mask. He was now the other half of the man she loved. The one that took orders from their master. Nodding, she gripped his hand back and followed as he stepped off the covered porch.

As they ran Misao looked briefly skyward, taking note of the darkening clouds and coming rain off in the distance. A storm was brewing out over the sea, and what she could see of the horizon was black and foreboding. Their palace up on the mountain would not be saved from its wrath. They needed to make preparations.

Another shout, almost a terrified scream, and Misao returned her attention to the closest problem. Either someone was attacking the palace or there had been an accident. Though she hoped for neither, an attack would be the worst. With the largest part of their military force out with the master, they had little power to protect themselves.

As they rounded the last building and the main gate came into view, Misao nearly relaxed in relief. There was only one woman positioned within the large gaping doors and she was standing straight and tall. No army spread across the clearing behind her and she seemed unhurt. Everything was fine… except for the body at her feet.

"It's the young lord!" Frightened for him, Misao took an immediate step forward, her first instinct to go to him and make sure he was fine. The hand grasping her own jerked at her arm, however, stalling her headlong dash.

"Wait. There is something wrong here."

"Of course there is, the young lord is hurt."

Casting her wide, aquamarine eyes back to the limp form of her youngest master, Misao felt sorrow, wondering if his unmoving figure meant that he was dead.

"Wake up, noble brat, and look upon my face!" Misao's gaze was thrown back to the woman, flinching as she swiped a hand through the air. Without even touching the lord his body flipped onto its back, a half-weak groan rubbing at his throat. "Look upon all the faces you have condemned!" The woman advanced, her multi-layered kimono that suggested her rank fluttering out in the wind, her loose hair whipping around her face and sleeves. She was more than just beautiful, she was almost ethereal, even with the look of utter grief and despair painting her cheeks with tears.

Once more her hand waved before her, her fingers curling around until they fisted, bringing her arm up high to eye level. As she moved so too did the body of the young lord, his hands going to his neck as if he were being choked. As his feet left the ground they kicked, struggling feebly, and the katana he had held dropped with a clunk.

"You have taken everything from me." The screeching voice of before was softened now in watery anguish, her chin trembling as she stared up at his defiant face. For there was no doubt in Misao's mind that their young lord was nothing if not defiant. He would not surrender to anyone. "Everything that I hold dear has been removed from my sight by _your _hand. And you… you have nothing! There is nothing in this life that pleases you! Nothing that I can take away! The death of your own father by my hand produced nothing from you! Nothing! I would _kill_ you if I knew you feared death, but even your life has no meaning!"

Quivering with suppressed emotion, she swallowed, calming herself. "So I have thought of a different punishment for you."

Abruptly her eyes looked away from her victim, their jet black depths bottomless and unnerving as she swept them over the gathered onlookers. "I shall ask all of you this only once, so be wary of your answer. Today I have killed your master. I have destroyed your invading forces. I know of the troubles this house has had because of its warmongering lord. I know of the deaths and deserters of your noble household. I tell you this now, this…_boy_ is all that is left of your ruling family. Would you give him your loyalty? Would you serve him as you have his father?"

Silence blew across the opening courtyard and the first thing Misao thought was _yes_, why would she not? The young lord demanded just as much respect as did his elders, didn't he?

"Very well. I have heard your answers."

Everyone gasped and stepped away from the witch in their presence. No one had spoken, not one answer given. Then there was a scream. A horrible, painful scream, and Misao covered her ears to block out the agony it trembled into her chest. The sound was muffled by her palm and Aoshi's hard knuckles, but there was no lessening the sight her blue-green eyes locked onto. There was no blocking the scene that would haunt her for the rest of her long life.

Twisting, writhing, screaming in a way she had never seen a man before, her young lord dropped to the ground, blood oozing out between the fingers fisted into his hair. He curled into a ball, pressing his face into the dirt to stifle his own cry, pride still present in the midst of such torture. The armor he wore broke off with a crack, the back of his kimono stretched, his voice turning to a screech, and the soft silk ripped and tore as two large, red wings sprouted from between his shoulder blades.

Panic began to take over Misao's thoughts and she took another step back, her grip a desperate clamp around the hand still holding hers. By then there was no more time to react, no more time to see, because the witch was in front of her, her grief stricken appearance burning into her retinas. Her lips were moving, and Misao belatedly realized she had been speaking the entire time, but she could not understand what it was she said. Then her hand reached, a finger touching her gently on the forehead, and for an instant Misao was calm.

"I am so sorry."

Then the pain began.

X

Misao woke with a start, her head lifting up off her forepaws and eyes snapping wide open. The lingering panic of her dream held her briefly in its clutches before one deep breath dispelled the feeling. Sighing, she curled herself back around the opposite way, tucking her nose into the coarse hairs of her belly. She at once hated and loved those dreams. Hated because it only reminded her of what they had all endured, and loved because she wanted never to forget her true love's face.

_Aoshi-sama… how cruel that the same day we were going to be together was also the same day that separated us for life._

A few long minutes later and light spilled through the crack in her doorway, alerting her to the time of day. It was time to get up and be about her chores. The knowledge actually delighted her, and she smiled as she stood and stretched her long body. Too long had they all been idle. Too long since the last time their services were actually required. The young lord had long since dismissed them to their own devices, spiraling deeper into a depression he would let no one pull him out of. Now that there was a guest within the palace, though, they were once again needed.

The young lord was beginning to show interest in them again. Interest in a lot of things. Grinning rather impishly, Misao shimmied through the crevice in her shoji and popped out the other side onto the veranda. Her small room was situated along one of the hallways leading to the northern pavilion, one half of it open the other half closed off for the lady's servants. The lady of the house generally stayed in the northern pavilion, directly across a smaller courtyard from the master's at the center. Misao had been one of the last lady's personal handmaidens. This meant she had been without someone to wait on for much longer than many of the others.

Turning away to the south Misao shelved those depressive memories and pointed herself towards her new mistress. For the time being Kaoru was staying in the eastern pavilion, a place now reserved for guests. When the palace had been alive with activity and a large family, it had been the house of one of the family members. None of that mattered now, though, and Misao thought Kaoru probably would not be staying it in for very long anyway. Misao did not even care that she was one of the only few that thought that way.

Between her, Sano, Yahiko, and a few of the others, they all had a nice bet going on. So far no one was betting on her side, but that just made it better odds for her. She had some info that the others did not, too, and that kind of info she was planning on keeping to herself.

Of course it only took someone with eyes to see the young lord was interested. In fact, everyone was beginning to notice the way he followed Kaoru around, even if Kaoru herself had not noticed just yet. For the last few weeks during their cleaning he had shadowed her; perching himself atop an adjacent roof; watching as she laughed, cursed, or complained she couldn't get something clean enough.

He was completely disapproving of her decision to do servant's work, but every conversation the two had carried on about it had ended in a yelling match. Misao wondered when their lord was going to realize this woman was not going to be talked down. Her temper was more than a match for his, not to mention her stubbornness. That they were not getting along much right now was the main reason no one believed Misao's prediction. It was for that very reason alone that Misao knew she was going to win the bet.

The soft fluttering of feathers caught her attention and she forgot everything she was thinking about as joy threw her heart into her throat. Scampering to the edge of the planking, Misao strained her neck around to look for the source and smiled when a dark bird flew by. Halfway down the walkway and the bird back winged, pulling its sleek body up short as it changed direction to come back. Full of excitement Misao met him where he landed.

"Aoshi-sama! You're home!" Waiting only for him to steady his balance and fold his black wings at his back, she pushed the top of her head into his chest. "I missed you." Softly the sharp points of his beak nibbled at her fur, showing affection in the only way he could.

"I missed you, too."

Sitting reluctantly back, Misao looked him over to make sure he was unhurt. Special though they all may have been, they were still in danger of becoming part of the food chain, and it would not have been the first time one of them had been attacked by a normal animal wishing to feed.

Even as an animal he was beautiful. His shape had become that of a sleek black raven's, with a sharp beak and talons. Fortunately he had retained his eye color. They all had. He was the only raven she had ever seen with cool blue eyes.

"Did everything go alright?"

"The lady's father will arrive home safely today. I left him in the care of Saitou's policing unit so that I could come back and make my report to the lord."

"Did he have any luck?"

"He was able to procure three new students. They should be enough for him to make a comfortable living, and they seem to be honest and eager boys. They will be good for him."

"How is he emotionally? The lady has expressed worry for him once or twice."

"He is holding up well enough. I heard him talking to his new students and he has told them his daughter was married to a man from another village. A good excuse for him to be gone every once in awhile for a visit."

"It might not be too far off from the truth, either." His sharp face tilted to the side to look at her curiously, and she grinned toothily. "Well… sooner or later, anyway. Perhaps you'll see what I have and convince the rest of them of their ignorance."

Aoshi was quiet for some time before fluffing a wing. "Have they been getting along then?"

"Nope. They fight like cats and dogs."

Laughing softly Aoshi nibbled at her again, then sighed. "I suppose I should be on my way, little one. I have not yet made my report to the master."

"You came here first!" Astonished, Misao stood straight up on her back legs, scandalized and partially frightened by his daring. "The master would be furious if he knew!"

"He is still asleep." Waving a wing, Aoshi stepped back. "Besides, koishii, I wanted to see you. All will be well, as long as you don't say anything."

"Don't be ridiculous. Why would I try to get you in trouble?"

The twinkle in his eye said he was only teasing before he hopped along the planking, spread his wings, and took off once again.

"I shall see you later, koishii."

Tilting one wing down, Aoshi circled sharply around the side of the center pavilion, zipping up under the covered walks and between posts. Now at the front of the master's house, he looked for the open tsumado that would be left ajar specifically for him. Spinning into a dive, he swooped through the gap and pulled up short just in time to keep from slamming into the inner panels. Flapping his wings rapidly, he landed with a quiet click on the wooden floor.

Walking carefully down the hall and around the corner he peeked through the partially open shoji that led into the inner living space. Across the room he could see the upright form of their lord, his back bowed uncomfortably and his arms wrapped loosely around one upraised knee. One large, leathery wing lay completely spread on the tatami mats off to his side, the other curled around his head, resting its main skeletal weight on the back of his neck. Sighing, Aoshi backed away to wait. There was no need to worry just yet. Their master was still asleep.

X

Misao figured it was just fate that they would be cleaning out the northern pavilion that day. It was the last and final area for their cleaning crew, and Misao was just a little pleased that they were kicking the other crew's hind end. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with them having an actual pair of human hands, not to mention the lord was being cranky about anyone in his quarters. _Ah well, bad luck for them. Look's like we get Tae's special dessert all to ourselves!_

"It's so pretty in here!" Delighted, Kaoru was throwing open every shoji and tsumado she could find, letting air and light into the darkened rooms. "Kawaii! Look at the paintings! And this cute little vanity! Oh my, it's like a perfect little doll house!"

Giggling, Misao watched her dance around from one enchanting sight to the next. "I'm glad you like it, milady. This would have been the quarters for the lady of the house."

"The lady's? You mean like… the lord's wife?"

"Or favorite wife."

"He had _multiple_ wives?" Appalled, Kaoru made a face, trying to imagine Kenshin married to more than one woman. It was a disturbing, and surprisingly annoying, prospect.

"Sometimes the nobles would, yes. Our master had five wives. Not that he really wanted any of them personally. They were just a means to an end. It was an easy way to garner favor and backing from their families. The Lord's marriages were all about influence."

"So he didn't once marry for love?"

"I don't think so, but… his last wife stayed his favorite longer than any of the others. She was the one who resided here. I wouldn't say he loved her exactly, but he did have a certain level of affection for her. She was my favorite mistress, anyway."

Kaoru frowned at the sadness now infecting Misao's voice. "She must have been a kind lady."

"Oh yes, the kindest. It was a joy serving her. You must have the same taste as she if you fancy the style of her pavilion. As the lady of the house, she had the freedom to decorate whatever she wished in whatever style suited her. She also decided on the decorations for the master's quarters, since he didn't mind."

"She sounds like someone I would have wanted to know."

"You would have liked her, and I think she would have liked you, too." Smiling a little more mysteriously, Misao winked at Kaoru's raised eyebrow.

"Alright you two, let's just get to work. I want to get this done as quickly as possible."

"Like you'll be doing anything but bossing us around, Megumi."

"I'm not made for this kind of labor." Preening herself and looking much too proper, the fox sat herself down in a ray of sunshine to highlight her red coat.

"But aren't you a servant to Lord Kenshin, too?" Curious of her haughty behavior, Kaoru questioned in a tone that held no sarcasm.

"Of course I serve the young lord, as his physician."

"You're a doctor?!"

"Yes. I've even kept up with the times, as well as I could. There are several good books that I've been able to procure over the centuries."

"Centuries?" Overwhelmed, and thinking dimly that she had finally found out some type of time frame, Kaoru wondered when her eyes were going to pop out of her head. "Just how old is everyone?"

Momentarily speechless, Megumi froze with one paw in the air, her jaw hanging slack. A light hiss from Misao snapped her out of her shock and she smoothly transitioned into indignity. "You shouldn't ask a woman her age, Lady Kaoru. It's rude." Turning with a swish of her tail, she trotted into the second room. "Can we please just get this finished. There are more things in this pavilion to clean than any of the others so far."

_This palace is supposed to be over a thousand years old. I wonder… does that mean everyone here is… Surely not, it's not possible._ Following Megumi into the other room, Misao trailing behind, she didn't immediately pay attention to the objects inside. _But she did say centuries, and that isn't possible either. Neither is what Father said, about Kenshin not aging between now and thirteen years ago. Of course, there are talking animals here, too, and then Kenshin himself… oh, forget it. There's obviously something strange going on here, and at this point I'm ready to believe anything's possible._

The rest of their team was already busy cleaning the veranda and inner hallway, which left Kaoru, Misao, and Megumi alone within the two inner rooms. The smallest room, the one Kaoru had mistakenly used as her sleeping area in her own pavilion, was full of boxes of all shapes and sizes. Many of them were the same size, stacked upon one another in even piles. They were covered in dust, like everything else, but Kaoru recognized what they were even without looking inside. Her mother had two boxes like those. Only two, because that was all they could afford.

Kneeling beside a pile, Kaoru pulled the uppermost box off the top and slid it into her lap. Brushing aside the layer of gray lining it, she hesitated, before lifting the lid open. As she had expected the soft silk of a kimono lay inside, and its texture and make was better than any she had ever seen before. Vaguely she wondered why it was still so perfect; how it had been preserved if her theory about the time was correct. Then she remembered her own reasoning, that anything was now possible. It was such an insignificant detail to be worrying about at this point, actually, what with the talking weasel chattering away next to her at a fox.

Even still, she was afraid to touch it. Kimono were expensive, that was why they were generally handed down through a family. Out of her mother's two kimono, one of them had belonged to _her _mother, and she had worn it for the wedding to Kaoru's father. Her second kimono had been a wedding gift, from Koshijirou. The one Kaoru had worn to the palace her first day could hardly be considered a proper kimono next to even her mother's. Next to these… they were cloth sacks!

_No wonder Kenshin is so disapproving of my clothing. If this is what he was used to, then I must look like a dirty homeless girl._

She was distantly surprised by how the knowledge depressed her.

As if her thoughts could summon him, Kaoru heard the voices of the servants outside respectfully acknowledging their lord as he passed. Jumping in guilt, she let the lid of the box fall closed. If this had indeed been the house of the master's favorite wife… then she seriously doubted Kenshin would appreciate her fingering through her clothing. Wanting to quickly replace the item before she was found out, she jumped again when Misao stopped her with a paw, her little face peeking through the crack of the lid as it had not landed perfectly back into place.

"Aren't they beautiful? These would have been the under layers. The next box would have gone over that, and the next over that, and so on. It's quite the affair, trying to get it all on perfectly."

Momentarily distracted, Kaoru gave Misao her full attention. "How many layers does this one kimono have?"

"It depends. Sometimes they can have up to twenty, but I think this one in particular has just twelve."

"_Just _twelve?"

"That's right. Oh, good morning, my lord." Dropping back down to all fours, Misao ducked her head courteously. "Is there something we can do for you?"

"No. I have simply… found myself with a free moment."

Kaoru grinned. "Did they finally get you out of your rooms, then?" As was becoming habit, he frowned, but Kaoru was more than used to his grumpy behavior by now and her smile merely widened. "Really, for someone who is determined his servants do their own job, you are stubbornly getting in the way of letting them."

"They may do their job when I am not present." Crossing his arms, he cast his eyes away and looked over the clutter. "And I left my rooms because I wished to and not for any other reason."

"Well I hope you didn't plan on coming in here and slowing us down. We've got enough to do without having to work around you."

Ignoring her, Kenshin looked away to the side, his hand tentatively reaching out to run over the faded screen painting. "I haven't been in here… in a very long time." The sadness lightly coating his voice made her chest twinge, and it was Kaoru's turn to frown, unsure of the reaction. What was it about that pavilion that was making her so sad? A fleeting dart of amber eyes caught her own gaze as he withdrew his hand. "Do the rooms please you?"

"Uh…" Startled by the question, Kaoru nervously fingered the box still astride her bent legs. "I guess." His features tightened, offended by her vague and rather careless answer. "I mean, I find them very beautiful, if that's what you're asking."

Nearly bursting with excitement, Misao bounced back up with her front paws on Kaoru's hip. "Don't be modest, Lady Kaoru. You were simply thrilled with the rooms only a few minutes ago. Right, Megumi-san?"

"She was about to give me a headache with her girly shrieks of delight." Sounding as if the scene had been insufferable, Megumi flipped her tail, ignorant to what Misao was doing.

"I'm glad." The smile in his voice was obvious, and Kaoru looked up quickly because it was not an occurrence that happened regularly. "I'm sure they will look even better after they have been cleaned. Almost like new again." His voice trailed off into a memory only he knew of, and Kaoru snapped out of her dazed awe straight into irritation with herself. _This was supposed to be the rooms for the wife of the master. What the hell is he thinking saying such insinuating things to me?_ Feeling ill-tempered, Kaoru stood up and dropped the box back on top of its pile. The noise caught his attention.

"We won't get anything done with you in the way. So if you will please excuse yourself, we need to clean everything out of the room and air out the belongings. Especially these kimono before they accumulate a smell, if they haven't already."

Golden irises finally focused onto the box she had been recently holding, their large frame rounding almost completely as they stared at the crooked lid. It was as if he had only just realized what was going on. "Nothing in this room is to be touched." The statement was breathless and his eyes were still centered on the container. Then they flew to the two servants, settling on Misao as the culprit. "Why did you come in here?"

"My lor…"

"What if you broke something?"

"But they nee…"

"You could have already dirtied them." Stepping by Kaoru, she tripped backwards to avoid getting hit by his wings and watched him snatch up the top four boxes of kimono. "Obviously you cannot be trusted with their importance. They shall all be kept in my rooms from now on."

Turning with the boxes clutched to his chest, as if they were the most crucial aspect of his life, he left the pavilion on unsteady feet. Motionless and uncertain, Kaoru stared after him, dumbstruck. Perhaps it was the vulnerable way he had conducted himself, an action so unlike the way he was normally exposed, but Kaoru had felt no desire to argue with him for treating his servant so rudely. This topic was apparently too delicate for him to handle correctly.

"I suppose… he didn't mean to be so cruel, Misao-san." Finding herself trying to defend him, Kaoru didn't give herself time to question why. "All of this stuff is… clearly important to him, and we didn't take the time to see how he would react to us touching it." Trying to smile, Kaoru knelt down next to her friend who was looking painfully dejected.

"No. It's my fault, Lady Kaoru. I should have remembered how close he was to the last lady of the house. But he was acting so nice to begin with, like he was pleased, that I thought it must have been okay with him."

"You did say, though, that the master's favorite wife would have stayed here. All of this stuff must be hers then, and he just… misses her a lot." _Of course, that was why she was his favorite._ Ignoring the strange knot in her stomach, Kaoru continued soothingly. "That kind of emotional distress makes people act funny."

Megumi gave a strained sort of laugh. "You make it sound like she was Lord Kenshin's wife."

Shocked, Kaoru averted her attention to the fox. "She wasn't?"

"Of course not. The young lord has never been married."

"But Misao-san said your master had five wives at one time, and the favorite stayed in this pavilion." Completely turned around, Kaoru pointed almost accusingly at the weasel.

"Well, yes, that is technically correct, but she was speaking of our old master. The young lord's father. His newest wife, the one that stayed in this pavilion, was the young lord's mother."

"She was Kenshin's mother?" Digesting this new information, Kaoru sat back on her haunches, her head tilting ever so slightly to the side. _His mother died when he was younger. Before his father, I'm guessing, but all of her stuff is still in this pavilion. Meaning the old master, Kenshin's father, never moved any of the other wives back into this favored spot. She must have been quite the lady to hold his attention even in death. And I guess… Kenshin's reaction is warranted even more so now that I know the real reason he was upset._

Standing abruptly, Kaoru bent to retrieve the rest of the stack Kenshin had taken from, lifting them carefully into her arms. "You two should start on the other room. I'll make sure all of these make it safely to the lord's quarters like he wished."

Misao looked relieved and breathed a quiet thanks. Smiling brightly, Kaoru marched her way out of the house and onto the walk that led to Kenshin's own rooms. She wasn't surprised to see the servants that were trying to clean his building all scurrying quickly away from it, wishing to stay out of reach of his temper. Sighing, she fumbled with the tightly shut tsumado and nudged open the doors so that she could skinny her way in.

The pair of wooden doors she entered were directly opposite the wall of shoji leading into the lord's private living space. They were flung wide open in contrast to his outer barriers, and Kaoru cautiously stepped up to their gapping entrance.

"Kenshin-sama… is it alright if I come in?" Something soft shuffled across the tatami, but there was no answer to her inquiry. Peeking her head warily around the inner door, the scene inside made her relax in sympathetic understanding. She had lost her own mother, too, after all.

The boxes he had taken with him were strewn across the floor, as if he had dropped them or tossed them away. A variety of pretty colors spilled out of each, like a splash of vibrant life within the confines of his drab surroundings. The lord himself sat way back inside the innermost room, the doors open but providing little light to shine upon his hunched figure. With one wing thrown around his legs and over his head, it was apparent he did not want to be seen.

Sitting down the boxes in her arms, she bent next to the others, meticulously replacing each delicate kimono piece and stacking them by the wall. "You should be more careful with what is precious to you, Kenshin-sama. You may accidentally do something you will regret later."

"I don't need a lecture from you."

"I'm merely expressing concern. These are very beautiful kimono, the likes of which I've never seen before. I'm sure the only thing that could have outshone them is the lady they belonged to." Amber eyes peered over the top of his partially lowered wing. "They deserve to be treated with respect to honor her memory."

"It is ridiculous to feel such attachment to something so insignificant." The wing was back up.

"But they're not insignificant. One of my mother's kimono has been passed down through her family for a few generations now. It holds every one of the memories it saw while worn, and it will continue to see new memories when my father gives it to me. That makes it more valuable than the coin it is worth."

"Then they are more than just worthless, since I cannot obviously wear them."

Kaoru covered a smile at the thought, glad that he still wasn't looking at her. "Yes, but one day you will find someone special to give them to, and then they will become even more precious."

The concealing wing tightened for a moment, then dropped completely as he sighed. "Perhaps I will simply give them to you, since you don't seem to have anything decent to wear."

"What?"

Nodding as he took a liking to the idea, he waved a hand imperiously. "Have them all taken to your rooms. I have no use for them in here. Besides, they're still cleaning my quarters and they will simply be in the way."

"But…"

Standing without listening to her stuttering, he approached her and bent to pick the boxes back up. "I shall help you with these… but only because I myself am heading out as well. The rest need to be handled by the servants. Someone with a delicate nature. I do not wish for them to be strewn across the courtyard."

Golden irises finally focused on her, studying first the wide frame around her eyes, and then the darkening blush of anger on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin-sama, but I can't." Refusing him with as much dignity as she could muster, Kaoru's words came out short and clipped.

Black lashes blinked quickly as he frowned and she turned without another word and walked stiffly to the shoji and then out the adjoining tsumado. As soon as her feet hit the veranda her head ducked, her arms crossed, and her steps quickened.

Confused, conflicted, and unused to the feeling rolling in his gut, he clenched his jaw tightly against the rising tide of anger and bitterness. Sitting the boxes down shakily at his feet, he twisted back to the smaller inner room and slammed the door shut behind him.

X

A/N: Yay! I'm finally getting to write about some of the stuff I have been wanting to. It gets a little frustrating having to make sure there is filler stuff so you better understand as the reader, when all I want to do as the author is write certain parts I particularly like alone. Anyway, I hope everyone liked this chapter better. I didn't get much feedback on the last one, and I know it's because there really wasn't much to review on. So here… tell me some stuff! I'm dying to get some reviews!

I had someone request a POV from one of the "servants" so here you go. I did kind of make poor Misao and Aoshi suffer, but I like it when they're all cute and cuddly. Unlike Megumi and Sano… I'm fine with them bickering, because that's when they're the cutest. The back story for Kenshin is much more detailed than what you were all just given, so go ahead and make some assumptions, but don't get too attached to them. Kudos to you who do figure it out, though I doubt it's much more complicated than it actually seems, so I don't want to build it up too much either. Anyway, I've got some grocery shopping to do, so I'll leave this be and get it posted. Please tell me what you think. I like reviews!


	8. Kimono Rights

Thanks for the reviews, and I hope some of your questions are answered here, and that you have some new ones when you're finished. Read on!

Disclaimer: Of course not.

**Chapter 8: Kimono Rights**

It had all started the day before. Neither the young lord nor their new mistress were speaking to one another. The young lord was angry, Tae could tell by the stiff muscles of his shoulders and the irritated crease of his brow. Kaoru, on the other hand, was subdued. That she wasn't full of her usual vibrant and rebellious energy gave Tae cause to worry. Something had happened. Something that no one else had seen. Something a little more potent than traded words.

For that entire day Kenshin had refused to leave his quarters and only once was he even seen. Shortly after noon his tsumado had opened, and out of its dark interior several boxes of kimono were dropped. The top few slid off the stack onto the open veranda, the lids jarring just enough to spill the contents across the wood. It didn't seem to matter to their lord, however, as he just as smartly shut the doors on the mess he had made. A few of the servants helping Kaoru with the northern pavilion had witnessed the scene, but everyone was too afraid to do anything with the boxes for fear of their master's temper.

Even Kaoru had done nothing, and Misao had reported the difference in her attitude with a level of perplexity that said she was more than just worried. It was obvious to the weasel just what the fight must have been about, as she had explained the nature of their lord's distress at finding them inside the inner rooms of his mother's old house. Kaoru had taken the kimono to his rooms after learning of his relationship with the late lady, and afterwards had returned angry and shaken.

From the way it sounded, Tae wanted to throw it off on her lord's bad temper and sharp tongue, but she knew from experience that Kaoru did not take well to being yelled at. She always gave back just as much as she got. Which meant there was another reason their strong-willed mistress was acting like a scolded child. It still, she was sure, had to do with the kimono, though. Especially with the way he had treated them, and the fact that they were still lying there the next day.

They were both sitting at the table this morning, and Tae wondered if the only reason Kenshin was even there was because he was hungry. He had refused to eat anything the entire day before, after all. Carefully carrying in the first tray of food for him, she had all the time in the world to look him over as his eyes would not leave the woman adjacent to him at the table. Their amber gleam was more than just challenging, and as light slipped through the rice paper panels and illuminated his face through threads of red hair, Tae was surprised to see hurt.

Switching brown eyes to the girl, she sighed unhappily. Kaoru would not meet his gaze, not with her shoulders hunched and head ducked. One fleeting dart of her own eyes showed she was aware of the lord's glare, but instead of confronting him she turned her head completely away, her lips jerking downward. The action suggested she was hurt as well.

_Whatever they did they hurt each other. This will be more than just difficult to reconcile. One of them is going to have to recognize the other's hurt before either will apologize._ Glancing back at her master, she shook her head. _Lord Kenshin will never see past his own selfish pride to understand her turmoil. At least, not now as he is. He hasn't had enough time with her to change. It will have to be Kaoru, this time._

Kaoru thanked Tae softly after her food was served, but kept her chin dejectedly downcast to hide from those heated golden irises. He was angry with her, and Kaoru knew he was offended over her rejection of his gift, but… lips twitching ever so slightly, she frowned at herself. Pain trembled in her stomach and she forced it down by clenching her teeth together and closing her eyes. She didn't understand why she was so horribly upset, only knew that she had not liked the aloof way he had cast aside his mother's kimono on her. She hadn't liked it one bit.

Those kimono were meant to be special, were meant to be given to someone special, not carelessly donated to just some nobody. It didn't even matter that her clothing was unfit for a guest of his, because they were her clothes and there was no one there that was going to be offended besides him. It wasn't like he was expecting some courtier or other noble to stop by and pay their respects. It wasn't like some passerby was going to peek through the gates and notice this tomboyish woman parading around in men's training clothes and spread rumors about the undignified state of affairs at Lord Kenshin's palace. What difference did it make if she, Kamiya Kaoru, wore a twenty some layered kimono versus a pair of hakama? She wasn't special. Not special at all.

Lip trembling harder, she reached for her chopsticks and pretended to eat.

It took little time for Kenshin to finish his meal, and with one last departing glower at the back of Kaoru's neck, he stood and left the dining hall. He didn't understand and his ignorance annoyed him. Did the kimono displease her? Were they not pretty enough? Kami knew he was unfit to judge what was or was not pretty, but there had been plenty of times his ears had heard how lovely his mother's kimono were. As was everything else she owned. Was that not why his father's other wives had hated her so much? Was that not why no one had mourned her death? No one but him…

Kaoru herself had expressed a joy of pretty things as she had childishly demanded years before that he make her necklace something attractive and pleasing to the eye. He had only thought… to give her something pretty, and if it in turn made it so her appearance wasn't so unsuitable then the action was doubly justified.

Rounding a corner of the veranda he stared at the pile of boxes and scattered kimono next to his pavilion and his frown deepened. It did not matter anymore. She had rejected his offer and retreated from his presence as if the very thought of accepting such a gift from someone that looked like _him_ was appalling. No matter how much of the pity he killed within her eyes, nothing would change the fact that he still appeared to be a monster. Eyes closing softly, his head tilted, bangs sliding forward to curtain his face. _But I am a monster. Is that not the very reason I was condemned to live like this?_

What experience did he have in presenting a gift anyway? Many, many years before he had watched others trade small tokens to one another; watched the way they were received with surprise and delight. As a child he had even witnessed a moment inside the courtship of his eldest brother and the woman that was chosen to be his wife. The way her eyes had looked at him had suggested more affection than a simple arranged marriage warranted.

"_Shinta… Father said you are going to marry that woman. Why do you buy her gifts if your marriage is already decided?"_

"_I hope, little brother, that someday you will understand." There was laughter in his voice, and his hand ruffled Kenshin's red hair._

"_But Tenshi says it is a waste of time and effort. Why go through so much trouble when there is nothing to win over anymore?"_

"_Tenshi is a poor ignorant fool who is going to make his chosen wife miserable. Listen to me, Kenshin, there is more to win from a woman than just a wedding. You will be spending the rest of your life with this woman, whomever she may be, and you will be happier yourself if she is happy with you. The effort is not wasted, even if the gesture is small."_

"_But what if you're like Father and have five wives? You would spend your fortune just keeping them happy."_

_Delighted laughter rippled out of his older brother's throat, his head thrown back as his shoulders shook. "Let's hope that none of us have to deal with that. It definitely sounds like a lot of effort, ne?"_

_Making a face, Kenshin crossed his arms. "It all sounds like too much effort. I don't think I'll ever be married."_

_Amused, Shinta grinned. "And just what do you plan on doing with yourself, little brother?"_

"_I'm the youngest, so I'll just stay here with you. Father says that after my training I'm going to be your personal protector. When Father's gone and you're the new master, you'll need someone to make sure you're safe."_

"_Then I shall count myself lucky that I have such a trustworthy guardian." Chuckling, he wrapped an arm around his little brother's neck and led his struggling form down the veranda._

Pressing his knuckles into the bridge of his nose, Kenshin let out a long breath. He hated dredging up old memories. It reminded him too much of the life he had lost and the moments of hatred involved with it.

Regardless of what had happened in his past, his brother had seemed to be correct about his advice. Shinta's own wife had been pleased with him, because he had taken the effort to win her over with gifts. Over the past few weeks his fights with Kaoru had become worse and worse, and he had been pleasantly relieved that the opportunity to give her something had come about. Surely giving her something as valuable and desirable as his own mother's kimono would make her happy. Surely she would calm down and no longer be so miserable in his presence. After all, wasn't that all his brother had done to make a woman happy?

Apparently Kaoru was not a woman to be so easily won. That she was not one of the noble women from a thousand years ago was obvious. If she was, this would have been so much easier to keep her quiet and content. But no, even the sacrifice he had made by giving her the kimono did not move her. He knew she understood how much it cost him to let those go, but he had also trusted her to take care of them. They were merely going to waste in that stuffy pavilion, boxed up and left for decay. With a new owner to wear them, they would once again see the sunshine; once again honor all that they stood for. That was not possible now, for she had thrown the gift straight back in his face.

_Tenshi was more right than you, brother. Why waste the effort if there is nothing to win?_

Passing by the discarded kimono fluttering in the breeze, he entered through the tsumado and left them to the elements. They were no longer of any use to anyone if he had no one special to give them to.

X

"Lady Kaoru, would you be so kind as to join me for a short walk?"

Looking up from the view of the courtyard, Kaoru blinked at Tae, momentarily lost in thought until her brain processed what she had been asked. "Of course, Tae-san." Standing on stiff legs, she stretched out her toes and thought absently about how long it had been since she had last trained. With all of the cleaning she had been doing on the palace, there had been no time to think about training.

Shortening her step for Tae's hopping gait, Kaoru followed her lead down the long walkway to the small, completely open pavilion at the end. The covered walk had waist high railings on either side and spanned one side of the large courtyard at the southern side of the master's quarters. The pavilion at the end jutted out over one end of the small pond lining the south side of that courtyard. Standing next to the railings, Kaoru could see the other, larger open pavilion on the other side of the pond, its own covered walkway leading back to the western guest quarters.

"It's starting to get chiller, milady."

"I suppose." Staring down into the water, Kaoru watched a lazy koi fish swim deep below the surface. Soon the pond would ice over. She wondered what the fish did then.

"Perhaps you should think about wearing warmer clothing so that you do not catch a cold."

Fingers fisting, Kaoru scowled down at the unknowing fish. "Perhaps I'll wear whatever I please and not what everyone else thinks I should."

Tae didn't even try to hide her smile. "This is good. I was afraid something had happened to your stubbornness."

Looking over her shoulder, briefly startled, Kaoru sighed and turned around to lean her back into the railing. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be hateful. It's just…" Trailing off, she looked out over the top of the outer wall, staring at the nearly leafless trees. It had gotten colder.

"Does this have anything to do with the pile of kimono sitting outside of Lord Kenshin's rooms?"

Wincing, Kaoru twisted her fingers together. "I guess it's pretty obvious, huh?" Grinning weakly, she met Tae's gaze with her own. "This whole servant business means you guys get to see and hear a lot, don't you?"

"It is our job, my lady." Sketching a mock bow, she smiled when Kaoru giggled. After a moment her smile turned sad. "Those were… the late lady's kimono."

"Yes… he… tried to give them to me, but…" Dropping her eyes once again, she frowned sadly. "I couldn't accept them." She paused. "He's angry that I didn't."

"I must say, Kaoru-san, that it pleases me the young lord would be willing to part with something so precious to him. He has always been rather selfish. It must have been hard for him to give them up."

Kaoru's chest twisted, the same as it had the day before. "I know, but… I couldn't accept them. It would have been disrespectful."

Surprised, Tae's brown eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"They belonged to his mother. They are meant to be given to someone of her family. Since Kenshin-sama is her son, then he should save them for… for someone he intends to marry. He can't just give them away to some guest staying in his palace. Not when his only reason is because that guest doesn't have any clothing he finds appropriate." Pulling in a shaky breath, Kaoru calmed herself and continued. "I told him he should give them to someone special and without another thought he tells me to take them so I'll have something decent to wear. He wasn't even listening to me at all."

Tae's features relaxed. _Oh, it sounds as if he understood more than you think. _Studying the light tremor in Kaoru's arms and lips, Tae smiled softly._ But I understand now how he hurt you. The men of this house are not so delicate in these matters. Especially the young lord, who is completely inexperienced._

"Well, Lady Kaoru, I do believe you are wrong in this, to an extent." Holding up a hand when sapphire eyes flew back to her, her lips parting angrily, Tae begged for patience. "You told him to give them to someone special, ne? You have been asked to live here, which means you are not a guest. Nor, I suppose, are you family, but _friend_ I think is an appropriate term. As a friend of the family you are certainly special in your own right. Wearing the lady's kimono would not be disrespectful."

Sulking stubbornly, Kaoru crossed her arms. "It would still feel that way to me."

Sighing in partial frustration, Tae fisted her hands on her small hips and met her head on. "Then you should listen here. Those kimono no longer belong to Lord Kenshin's mother. They belong to him and he will do as he pleases with them. If he decides he wants to give them to you, then you are disrespecting them and him by denying the gesture."

"So what happens if he finds someone who is special that he wants to give them to? He'll just take them away, so why should I bother accepting them to begin with?"

Nearly laughing, Tae waved a hand at their surroundings. "My naïve girl, who else do you see around here besides yourself?"

"So it's just me by default?" Becoming angry, feeling as if she were being set up to play a role she had neither asked for nor wanted, Kaoru stood straight, ignoring the volume of her voice. "I wouldn't wear those kimono if I had nothing left but my underclothes!" Stomping away down the walk, her feet dully echoing back at her, she sniffed once against the cold, then lifted a stunned hand to her chin. Catching a stray drop of moisture on her fingers, she stared at it in confusion, unsure where it had come from. She wasn't crying… she couldn't be crying. Lifting her fingers carefully to her eyes, she found them dry, and relaxed with relief.

Above her something soft began a stilted rhythm on the roof, pattering away in happy harmony. It was then that she realized the liquid on her finger was cold. Very cold. It was beginning to rain, the cold icy rain of late fall. Without another thought she took off running down the veranda.

Sliding around the corner of the central pavilion, Kaoru caught herself on the outer post and dropped to her knees. Hurriedly gathering up the uncovered kimono, she stuffed them carelessly back inside their boxes, making sure only that the lids were firmly closed and that not one flap of material was showing. Her actions were clumsy, noisy as she slapped the lids on and banged their weight against the planking. Shortly after arriving, the rain asserted itself with a forceful gust, blowing the fat drops across parts of the veranda. Yelping, she pushed the boxes in closer to the pavilion walls, trying to shield them from any type of moisture.

Finally able to stack them atop one another, her back to the smaller courtyard, she pursed her lips at how many of them there were. They made a tall load and she knew she would have a hard time seeing over them. Unfortunately she couldn't just leave any of them there, for fear of what would happen to them if she did. Stubbornly setting her jaw, she hefted them all into her arms and nearly jumped out of her skin when the tsumado next to her opened outward with a loud bang.

Glad for her training, she slid smoothly back to avoid getting hit and balanced her precarious cargo with a couple quick shifts of her weight. Facing the building once more, she was able to look at the culprit from around the side of the boxes, her eyes glaring as he stared back.

The lord said nothing, his eyes looking first at the packages she was holding, briefly to her, and then past her at the iced rain. Feeling she needed to justify her actions after the last twenty-four hours, Kaoru lifted her chin challengingly

"I figured someone needed to take care of them since you weren't."

Face tilting slightly away from her, he answered back in a condescending tone that matched her own. "They are no longer my responsibility. I thought I made that clear when I gave them to you." Amber eyes meeting hers again, the look more than meaningful and stern, he held her gaze long enough to make her blink and look down before reaching for the wooden doors and shutting them tight. Left out on the veranda, once again alone, she bit her lip and turned toward the northern pavilion to return the kimono to their rightful place.

X

Sano stretched and yawned as the rain finally stopped mid-afternoon. The yard was now littered with bright speckles of slush and puddles, the rain dripping from the eaves with soft splats and plops. The wind was chillier than that morning, and his fur bristled out in reaction to retain his body heat. The only good thing he had to say about being an animal was he didn't have to worry about washing any clothes. He wore his fur all the time.

Though the fox liked to badger him about bathing. Grumbling low in his throat, he lazily meandered around the veranda of one of the far removed western pavilions. That fox liked to badger him about everything. When they'd been human it had been his hair, or his clothes, or the way he drank too much, or how he was always in debt with someone because of his gambling habit. Never once did she compliment him on anything. Of course, he wasn't really surprised. What did he have to be complimented on in the first place? Being a dog should have been much simpler, except he was still attracted to a female he couldn't have.

It was crazy how that woman could make herself seem so superior even as a small, fur-covered vixen. Crazy and maddening and completely desirable. Katsu told him he was nuts for even looking at that fox. He claimed there were better, safer, and quieter woman about the palace, but Sano was about as interested in them as he was the weasel. Not to mention Aoshi scared the hell out of him, even as a raven. He would rather handle Saitou any day of the week over that cold, calculating, death machine the master had bought as a child. With the way he had reacted so blindly to their old master's orders, it surprised Sano that Aoshi hadn't been turned into the dog.

Shaking his head, he hopped down off the walk and onto the wet dirt below, aiming straight for the single male serving quarters. Most of them shared a larger room, and it didn't leave much chance for privacy, but Katsu was the palace artist, so he was just important enough to have walls. Trotting his way up the steps, tracking mud as he went, Sano nudged at the shoji with his nose until the opening was wide enough for him to enter.

Katsu was standing in the middle of the room, staring down at several different sketches he himself had done. The long, ringed tail of his curled up around his neck, absently fluffing his own furry ear. It was a curious sight, but a habit he had retained from his human days, though it used to be a hand curling the black hair hanging down around his ears and not a tail. Sano figured it was easier to accomplish now that he had an extra appendage to pull it off and keep him hands free.

"Hey, man, what's up?"

Katsu blinked, his eyes looking up hazily as his concentration burst. Black rings circled his eyes and mouth, the rest of his face white, giving him an eerie resemblance to an empty skull. But then his eyes widened and the slightly morbid image turned into something more comedic.

"Dammit, Sanosuke! Get your filthy paws off my sketches!" Dropping quickly down on all fours, Katsu rushed over to snatch at the delicate papers, his tail snapping up to whip Sano in the face. Jumping back, Sano hit the still partially shut shoji and was forced to sit down with a flop.

"Sorry, I didn't see 'em."

"I had planned on presenting these to the new mistress! Now look what you've done! They're ruined!" Trying to dab at the wet paw prints peppering the pages, Katsu huffed angrily. "Ah, I can't show them to her now! What kind of impression would that give to the lady, showing her dirty sketches? It's unprofessional."

"Dirty sketches, huh? Sounds like something you used to do when we were teenagers." Scratching persistently at his ear, Sano grinned. "You don't still have some of those hanging around, do ya?"

Katsu looked rather lofty for a moment, which always irritated Sano, because it made him feel as if he had said or done something the other was above. "Now what kind of impression would that give any young woman I might bring back to my room?"

Snorting, Sano shifted his weight to the side and laid down in front of the door. "What young women, idiot? I haven't seen any of those in… oh a thousand years or so."

"Then you obviously aren't looking hard enough."

Rolling his mahogany irises, Sano snorted again, casting his gaze around the interior of his friend's room. Ink drawings and rough graphite sketches littered the floor and walls, covering almost every inch of the inside. Much of them were of scenic views; drafts for the screen paintings he had done around the entire palace. The rest were a mixture of portraits and calligraphy that captured their every day life.

Since it had been over a thousand years since any of them had been human themselves, it was almost natural now to see the portraits depicting all animal forms. From wolves to elephants, cheetahs, hyena, chameleons, even vultures, the portraits were all very nature oriented. As he absently studied each of them, giving Katsu only half an ear as he continued to rant about the mess he'd made, Sano frowned at one corner… noticing it was full of nothing but the small, sleek form of a spider monkey.

"Sanosuke!"

"Huh?" Tearing his eyes away from the miniature shrine, Sano was forced to give the other his full attention.

"I said I'm leaving, so you need to exit my room." A large bundle of rolled up scrolls and papers were tucked in his arms, and he looked more than just annoyed.

"What do you got to do that's so important?"

"I had planned on meeting with the new lady this afternoon. Miss Tae has promised to finally introduce me." One small hand came up to brush at the fur on his chest, and Sano thought the gesture was just slightly nervous. "We are going to decide what themes she would like the palace screens to be painted in."

"Repainting the screens, huh? You know, I've got to admit, ever since this woman showed up the palace has started to look a lot better. Lord Kenshin should think about keeping a hold of her for awhile." Walking back out the door, Katsu at his side, Sano decided to tag along.

"I've heard they fight relentlessly."

"Yeah, she doesn't take any of his crap." Chuckling softly, Sano shook his head. "It downright pisses the young lord off, having a woman talk back to him, but…"

"But?"

"You know, I don't think he really minds. Not as much as he lets on, anyway." Frowning in thought, he stared down at the walk, trying to figure out what was teasing the back of his brain.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well… for one thing, he hasn't done anything about her talking back, has he? For another… it's just something that weasel keeps saying."

"Listening to the weasel these days? What's wrong with you, Sano?"

Laughing, Sano agreed. "Hey, she's got this little wager going on. Wanna get in on it?"

"No thank you. I don't gamble."

"Ah, come on, you haven't even heard what the wager is."

"I'm not interested."

"Eh, it's probably a good thing you don't, since it's about the lord. We'd all get into some serious trouble if he knew we were betting on his love life."

"Love life?" Shocked, Katsu tossed Sano a look of disbelief.

"Yeah, you know, about him and the new little missy. Misao's already making moving arrangements to put her in the northern pavilion, but nobody else is buying it. I mean seriously, he couldn't possibly be interested in the same little girl that came to the palace thirteen years ago. It gives me the creeps just thinking about it."

Sighing and shaking his head, Katsu stopped in front of a set of tsumado and turned to look at his oldest friend. Which was saying a lot since they were all over a thousand years old. "After all these centuries and you still haven't grown up. Really Sanosuke, why the hell do you think the master wanted the girl here to begin with?"

"I don't know." Shrugging, Sano sat down on his hind legs. "She was nice to him when she was little and he missed it?"

"If that was all then why didn't he go and collect her each year like her father had promised? It wouldn't have been that hard to demand his due when it became clear her father didn't want to let her go."

"And?"

"And what? Man, you really are dense if you haven't figured this out yet. It only took me the course of our conversation. No wonder you're still having problems with that foxy doctor."

"Shut up. You know what? I've got better things to do than stick around and deal with your abuse. I'll see you later. Have fun with your _girl_ talk." Stalking off and muttering, Sano hopped off the walkway back into the mud. Rolling his eyes, Katsu wondered how long it would take before that mutt got in trouble for tracking paw prints all over the newly cleaned palace.

Dismissing him from his thoughts, he nervously tried to straighten his fur again before lifting one small hand to pull at the tsumado. Tae had asked him to come to the northern pavilion where they were still cleaning up. It would be the perfect place to start, if everything he had deduced from Sano was correct. Restyling the lady's quarters would be a great foundation for the rest of the palace to go off of.

No one was inside the hallway surrounding the inner rooms, so Katsu trudged his way to one of the shoji. Normally it would have been completely inappropriate for him to enter the lady's quarters, but unlike some of the others Katsu didn't have a problem changing with the times. Besides, there hadn't been a real lady residing in the palace in over a thousand years. _Not until now, and I'm interested to see what this Kaoru is like since I didn't get the chance to meet her when she visited before as a child._

He knew she didn't remember anything that had happened when she was four. The entire palace knew that. All he knew of her was what he had heard: that she had been a happy little child, with no fear of the daunting appearance of their lord, and no problem talking to animals. He'd even heard a rumor about her demanding a flight out of the lord. which he had promptly given to her without argument. It was easy to understand why their lord had wished her to visit, and now to stay, but things changed over the years. Things always changed. Everything, except for them.

The inner shoji were partially shut when he approached them, and a quiet shuffle from inside warned that there was already someone there. Thinking it to be Tae, his features brightening, Katsu opened the doors wider and climbed up onto the tatami mats.

The noise he made alerted the other to his presence and Katsu was surprised to find himself facing the new lady, her taller form forcing his neck back as he looked up at her. She was just herself straightening from a bowed position, the multiple boxes at her feet suggesting the reason, and her own look of shock widened her eyes. It was a guilty expression, and Katsu frowned slightly when one of her hands jerked across her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was anybody else in here." Kaoru smiled weakly, the action just forced enough to cause Katsu worry, and she bowed in a more than respectful gesture. "I don't believe we have met yet. I mean…" She blushed and knelt on the mats so they were closer in height. "I'm still having a hard time telling everyone apart, but I don't think I remember meeting you yet."

Pulling his thoughts away from his contemplations, Katsu shook his head and bowed even lower than she had. It was only respectful, after all, for a servant to bow lower than those of superior standing. "No, my lady, we have not. I am Katsu, the palace artist. We were supposed to meet today and go over some sketches I have prepared."

"Oh!" A little bit of light returned to her blue irises and she scooted closer eagerly. "Tae's told me all about you. She says you are a wonderful painter, and very kind. Did you do the screens for the late lady?"

Pride puffed his chest out, and Katsu practically beamed at the compliments. "As a matter of fact, yes I did, my lady. She was very pleased with the results. I hope that you yourself will be pleased as well."

Kaoru grinned at the cute sight, wondering what kind of monkey he was. He wasn't close to any kind she had ever head of. "I doubt I won't be, Katsu-san." Hesitantly she paused, biting her lip and trying to hold back her curiosity. Shyness had never solved anything for, however, and she leaned forward, her words coming out in a rush. "I don't mean to be rude, but I've never seen or heard of a monkey quite like you. Not with ears like that and your coloring."

Blinking, Katsu was momentarily bewildered, then started laughing at the flash of innocence on her face. "That's because I'm not a monkey, my lady. I'm a lemur."

"Oh." Chewing on her lip harder, she looked over the white fur covering his belly, the shade darkening to a soft grey on his back. He had the cutest ears and the funniest fluffy tail she had ever seen, with rings of black and white lining its entire length. "Do you think it would be alright if I touched your ears?" He blinked rapidly again and she sat back, slightly horrified with herself for making such a bold suggestion. "I'm sorry, that was impolite." Abruptly she giggled. "I've been learning a lot about what is or is not polite these days. Lord Kenshin is such a stickler for it."

"Then I promise I won't tell him, my lady." Smiling he leaned his head forward, tilting it to the side to angle one ear in her direction. Without waiting another moment her fingers reached out and gently rubbed the thickness of skin, cartilage, and fur between thumb and forefinger. She giggled again.

"I'm sorry I'm late to introduce you, but it seems you are getting along fine."

Both of them jerked their head around to the door, watching as Tae's small brown form jumped up onto the mats. Kaoru's generous smile of before softened into a smaller, slightly regretful one, but the look was soon lost when the lemur standing in front of her dropped every one of the scrolls he was holding. They scattered to every corner of the room, bumping into boxes and unrolling themselves across the floor. Stuttering, Katsu scrambled around, trying to gather them all back up.

Tae giggled, the sound feminine and unguarded. It was a pretty noise that captured Kaoru's attention, having never seen this side of the knowledgeable cook. She watched as the small spider monkey began helping to clean up the mess the lemur had made, her tiny, skillful hands delicate as she rolled the scrolls back up.

Running around and apologizing, Katsu was being less organized and sensitive with his papers as he crushed them back into his arms and tripped over the ends as they trailed along behind him. With the other two helping everything was collected quickly, but as Katsu and Tae met close to the shoji he found her staring at one of the unraveled scrolls with shocked and startled eyes. Hurriedly sitting everything he had gathered down, he snapped up the scroll she was staring at and efficiently rolled it back closed.

"Katsu-san… how did you…?" Shifting her attention from the closed scroll to him, Tae sucked in a shaky breath and her features transitioned to something closer to dismay. "Paintings such as those have been strictly forbidden by the young lord. You will get into trouble again." Her voice whispered so that Kaoru could not hear them from across the room.

Holding the scroll close to his chest, he frowned and ducked his head, but the look was not ashamed, but defiant. "I had not planned to show it to anyone. He would never find out… unless you plan on showing him the evidence yourself." Soft tan eyes looked away.

"Why did you bring it here, if you had not planned to show it off?"

"I thought to present it… as a gift."

"To the new mistress? What would she do with such a painting?"

Laughing softly at the nearly scoffing tone in Tae's normally sweet voice, Katsu held it back out to her in offering. "No, to the lady who has always been kind to me. To remind her, that no matter how many years it has been, I do not forget."

"I… I can't, Katsu… there is nowhere for me to display it. Not without another seeing it. I don't wish to get you in trouble."

"Then hide it, if need be. I am not so prideful that you must display it in plain view." Whisper turning vehement, he shoved the painting into her hands. "It is meant for you and you alone. To look at when there is no one else around."

As his own hands withdrew she was left with the painting clutched in her fingers, her movements uncertain as she brought it in close to her small body. Trying to breath, trying to smile, she nodded her head in acceptance. "Thank you."

"Is that all of them?" Walking over with a few scrolls in her grip, Kaoru smiled down on them, looking back and forth between the two when they didn't immediately respond.

"Yes, yes I think so, my lady." Taking them from her, Katsu smiled back. "Thank you. I must apologize for my clumsiness. I'm sure you must think me quite the pain to deal with."

"Not at all. I can sympathize. Now, why don't you show me your ideas, Katsu-san. I'm really eager to see what you have in mind for the screens."

X

It was several hours later before Katsu began to collect his papers and ready himself to leave. They had decided on a few, but since the palace was such a large place, it would take several more sessions before they were completely sure on everything they wished. Yawning, Kaoru stretched her arms over her head, trying to work the kinks out of her back, and she dropped a hand ruefully on the kimono boxes stacked up behind her.

"I suppose I really need to figure out what I'm going to do with these now. They need to be aired out, but I don't feel comfortable leaving them outside, what with the weather acting the way it is." Another bout of rain had struck late in the afternoon, and now the courtyards and grounds were looking pretty sad and muddy.

"Then have you decided to accept them, milady?" Hopeful, Tae watched her reaction, and was not surprised when Kaoru gave a noise of disbelief.

"Not a chance, I just want to make sure they are shown the respect they deserve, and they don't deserve to be left in these stuffy boxes. They need to be aired out." Tae traded an amused look with Katsu.

"Then you'll need somewhere large and open if you're wishing to air them out inside." Shrugging his shoulders as he stood, Katsu jerked his head towards the western side of the palace. "What about the training hall? I'm sure it would be big enough."

"Training hall? Why haven't I got to see that yet?" Indignant and excited all at the same time, Kaoru threw her hands on her hips.

Smiling, glad that she and Kaoru were no longer feeling uncomfortable with each other after their small argument that morning, Tae waved a hand. "That's because the western quarters were where the boys stayed, and that's the side the other group of cleaners was assigned. You were given all the lady's quarters on the eastern side of the house, and the training hall would have been considered inappropriate for them."

"Inappropriate my foot. They just wanted to keep their women under their thumb." Standing Kaoru made for the door without waiting for either of them to lead the way. "I'm going to go check this training hall out. It was nice to meet you, Katsu-san. I'll see you in awhile at dinner, Tae-san."

Left alone inside the pavilion, Katsu shifted his weight uncomfortably before bowing his head and turning himself towards the door. "As always, I have enjoyed your company, and I hope you will be happy with my gift, small as it is."

Thanking him again softly, Tae watched him leave and waited until she heard the outer tsumado close. Looking back down at the scroll she held, she darted a glance behind her to make sure she was indeed alone, before unrolling it back out on the floor.

It was a beautiful, simple painting of a woman standing by a tree. Leaves, red and vivid were scattered about her feet, reflecting onto the white silk of her simple kimono. A golden obi tied around her waist, contrasting the red leaves with more warmth, and the slender figure was half turned with her back towards the viewer. One slim hand rested against the tree, the other lifting out to play with a stray leaf as it drifted in the wind, her long kimono sleeve trailing to the ground. Dark brown hair wisped around her shoulders and face, partially hiding her features and fanning out in the same wind that teased the leaves. Her eyes were a soft tan, her face round and cute, and for a moment… Tae barely recognized herself.

It had been over a thousand years since she'd been human, after all. Who could blame her for forgetting her true appearance. Katsu had not forgotten, though. Katsu had remembered everything.

Rolling the scroll back up and holding it to her chest, Tae closed her eyes and thanked him another time. It was the greatest gift anyone could have ever given her. Now, she had to find a place to safely hide it. If the lord were to see it… he would take it away and burn it. Just like he had every other painting of their former selves he'd found.

X

A/N: Whew! This chapter was longer than I thought it was going to be! Oh well, it was lots of fun. I got to reveal a lot of stuff, and I like getting to do that. First thing I would like to talk about is Kenshin's brothers. The two I mentioned, anyway, lol. Shinta's name is obvious. I gave the oldest this name for many reasons, one being that he is the most like Kenshin, but a much softer version. Thus, Shinta was Kenshin's name before Hiko taught him the sword in the original. Tenshi is Kenshin's other brother, and tenshi actually just means angel… but I thought it kind of a funny irony that Tenshi is such an asshole. So I gave him that name for a laugh.

After mentioning that the palace artist would be repainting the screens I thought and thought about who I was going to make him be, and then I was like… well, duh. Katsu was obvious. I made him be a lemur because I wanted an animal with hand-like paws, but I didn't want to overuse the monkey thing. When I did some research on animals to give myself variety, I found lemurs and instantly fell in love. They're sooo cute! I recommend looking them up. I know I never really mentioned what kind of a monkey Tae was until now, so I apologize if I was a little misleading, but spider monkeys, the small brown ones that aren't scary looking, are adorable. So, Tae gets to be a spider monkey.

Alright, I think that's all for now. Hope that you liked it, and please leave a review to tell me what you thought. Next up, Kaoru finds the training hall! You know what that means!


	9. Wolves and A New Pastime

Yay! Wolves! lol

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine.

**Chapter 9: Wolves and A New Pastime**

Kaoru walked a crisscrossed pattern through the many smaller buildings that led away from the palace and into the city. It was the first time she had been this far up the mountain, and if she hadn't been so nervous she would have been excited to see the new surroundings and faces. However, the reasons that had sent her into the small metropolis were not recreational, and so she continued on without pausing to take in the sights.

Yesterday she had been given the chance to observe the lord's training hall. It was gigantic, and it made her wonder just what kind of training it had been used for. It was perfect, though, for what she had in mind, and so she felt no need to complain. Maybe later she would question someone about the inhabitants that used to utilize the hall, to get a better understanding about what art it had employed. It would make her feel at ease using her own technique later when she was ready to train again. Her body was in desperate need of a good work out.

After breakfast that morning Misao had followed her to the hall, curious as to what she was doing. Upon finding out that Kaoru was planning on using the hall to air out the late lady's kimono and other possessions, Misao had expressed a concern that until then had been absent from Kaoru's mind.

"_With so many precious things freely exposed and left out in the open, maybe you should think about someone to keep watch as they air out tonight."_

"_You think something might happen to them if I don't?" Shocked at the thought, having assumed that no one there would dare to steal or damage anything that belonged to the lord, Kaoru stared back in confusion._

"_Well, I'm not saying anything will, but accidents can happen, milady. I-I don't think anyone would intentionally try to harm the kimono, but… well, I think it a good idea to take precautions."_

Misao had seemed suspiciously evasive, refusing to look her in the eye when she spoke, and Kaoru wondered if there was someone around the palace that was not as completely loyal to the lord as everyone else seemed to be. In any case, Misao had pointed her in the direction of the lord's policing unit. More specifically, to a certain wolf she had met her first day there.

At first Misao had insisted she send for the wolf to come to her, but after hearing about how much he hated being called upon by Kenshin to do his bidding, Kaoru thought it might not be the best way to ask a favor of him. So Kaoru had instead decided to call upon him at his house. She wasn't his master, after all, so it wasn't like she could command him to do anything for her. By going to him she thought it seemed a little more respectful, and it also gave him the chance to decline her if he so wished. In that case, Kaoru was ready to stay up in the dojo herself.

The only problem she seemed to be having was finding his house. Another detail she had insisted on was that she go alone, and although Misao didn't seem to mind at all, her directions had not been the greatest. Chewing on her lip and looking around to see if she recognized anything near her as a reference to where she might be, Kaoru sighed, realizing she was lost. _That weasel gave me directions like I've lived here my whole life or something._ Turning in a circle, trying to find the palace from where she stood, she realized she was heading the wrong way. Saitou's house was on the northern side, and not only was she closer to the southern wall, the street up ahead of her was curving back around on itself.

"Excuse me, my lady." Kaoru pulled her eyes from the small street and directed them quickly at the owner of the voice, lashes blinking at the large elephant standing beside her. Nothing had alerted her to its, _his_, presence. "May I be of some assistance?"

Sighing with a smile, Kaoru nodded eagerly. "Yes, please. I seem to be lost. Could you direct me towards the Saitou residence?"

The elephant grinned in amusement, or at least she thought he did, before giving her very precise and helpful directions. Thanking him profusely, she headed off down the street he pointed out for her with his trunk. Twenty minutes or so later and she was standing in front of her destination.

It was only then that her nerves decided to jump into overtime, recalling in vivid detail her first encounter with the wolf that was as big as a bear. Though Kenshin had declared her under his care, as a guest of his house (_or permanent live-in_), Saitou still frightened her. Lord's guest or no, he had little fear of showing her his teeth. And what sharp and long teeth they were.

_The better to eat you with._

Rolling her eyes, Kaoru ascended the porch steps and politely knocked on the door.

As she waited, her hands folded neatly in front of her, she absently looked to the left as noises from around the side of the house captured her attention. A quiet clicking inside warned of someone coming to the door, but before she could pull herself away from the distraction, four small wolf cubs came barreling out into the street.

They were small only in comparison to the one wolf she had seen so far, and each was a different size than the other. From a half grown wolf likened to a medium dog to a small cub the size of an adult cat, they stair-stepped down and wrestled like they meant it. Soft growls and high yips of pain came out of the bundle of fur and dust, each biting or tackling and just plain fighting their energy out. If Kaoru hadn't been raised in her father's dojo, she would never have recognized their play for what it was.

Giggling, helpless to do anything but, she watched them tumble across the dirt road, her neck craning completely around to keep them in sight. They were utterly adorable, and she conveniently ignored the truth of why four cubs would be near this house.

"Is there something I may do for you, my lady?"

The door was now open in front of her, a larger wolf occupying the empty space, and Kaoru's heart gave a leap of fear. But as she turned and bowed her head politely, she finally registered that the voice coming from this wolf was definitely female.

"I was told Saitou-san lived here."

"This is indeed the Saitou residence, my lady, but if you are searching for my husband I'm afraid he is not home at the moment."

"Oh." _Drat. Now what?_ "Do you know if he will be back soon?"

"He has gone on a routine patrol, he should be back within the hour." The female wolf, Saitou's wife she assumed, was not quite as big as he, but sleeker and her eyes were much kinder. It put Kaoru at ease and she happily nodded when she offered her tea.

"My name's Kamiya Kaoru." Half-following her into the house, she blurted the statement out, realizing she had not yet introduced herself.

"It is a pleasure, Kamiya-dono. I am Saitou Tokio."

"W-would it be alright if you called me Kaoru?" She didn't know why, but speaking with her made her more aware of propriety than Kenshin ever did. It seemed almost like an overstep to even ask such a question.

"If you wish, Lady Kaoru." There was a clear-cut smile in her tone now, and Kaoru smiled back as she watched her make tea. It was a strange system to see, but it was also amazing that it could be executed so perfectly without mishap. Especially since it was performed mostly with her teeth. Though Kaoru was asked to set out her own teacup.

"They have not been used in a very long time, Lady Kaoru. You might wish to rinse it clean first."

Not long after and they were sitting together on the porch, Tokio's tea in a small bowl for her to lap at occasionally and Kaoru sipping hers from a pretty tea cup with plum blossoms on it. The cubs were now chasing each other in and out of the other houses.

"You will have to excuse my children, Lady Kaoru. They are rambunctious boys and they always seem to sleep better if I let them play their energy out." Head lifting in a very dignified pose, Tokio seemed to frown at the quartet. "Though they will get quite the beating if they destroy Shigure-san's fence again." Raising her voice she yelled over their den of barking and snarling. "Boys! Back to the house!"

Startled yips issued from all, and they hurled themselves straight back at the porch. It was obvious to Kaoru they knew better than to disobey. Lining up in a perfect little line from smallest to biggest, they faced their mother… the youngest with a lolling tongue that forced Kaoru to hide her smile.

"Now boys, I would like you to meet the new lady, Kaoru. Introduce yourselves… and be respectful."

The oldest ducked a regal bow, serious about the way he presented himself. His name was Mishima Eiji. From there the gesture became less and less formal until the youngest didn't bow at all and instead yipped at her in greeting. His name was Tatsuo, and he earned a whap from the one next to him, Tsuyoshi, for being impolite, who in turn was tackled by Tsutomu for hitting the baby. Eiji was left to try and break it up as they all started fighting again.

Laughing, Kaoru turned back to Tokio and voiced her question softly incase it would upset the boys. "Why did the oldest say his name was Mishima? Is he not a Saitou as well?"

Shaking her head, Tokio's features became soft and unreadable. "No. His parents… took their own lives many years ago." Gasping in surprise, Kaoru felt instant sorrow at the thought. Suicide was not something she understood, and it made her sad to think anyone could be so desperate as to end their life. "It is something we have learned to deal with, Lady Kaoru. Many, many of our friends and fellow companions have tired of living this way. We are much less the thriving community we once were."

_Megumi did say that they have been around for centuries… I wonder what has kept all of these souls trapped within this place?_

"So you… adopted Eiji-chan to live with you?"

"Hajime did, yes. He brought him home without warning, and he has been living with us ever since. The boys adore him, and he is such a sweet child."

"Hajime?"

"My husband."

"Oh, right." She was distracted once again as the youngest wolf cub, Tatsuo, pushed himself into her lap, his open mouth drooling on her hakama.

"Tatsuo-chan." Exasperated, Tokio chastised him softly. "I'm sure the lady does not wish to be bathed in your drool."

"He's fine." Enamored by the young wolf and the coarse fur under her fingers as she steadied his little body on her legs, she reassured his mother. "I don't mind at all."

"Kao-dono, Kao-dono…" His eyes didn't look away, and they were the same golden eyes he had no doubt inherited from his father. They all had golden eyes, except Eiji, but each were a different shade, and Tatsuo's were dark like orchids. He seemed to be fascinated with her, and as the other three surrounded her on the porch she realized they all were.

Tsuyoshi, the next to youngest, rose up on his hind legs to plop his paws on either side of her head from behind, his nose sniffing her ear curiously. Tsutomu nuzzled her elbow, his cold nose running down her forearm to her fingers, which he licked. Eiji sat at her side, civilly keeping his distance, but it was obvious he wished to join in the three younger one's exploration of this human woman in their midst. One of her kind had not been seen in so long they hardly remembered there were such creatures. Giggling, and trying not to jerk too hard when they tickled her, Kaoru held still as they passed judgment.

"You'll have to forgive them, my lady. The young ones are more apt to act like the animals they resemble than us older ones. I suppose it is because they were not human long enough to remember what it was like."

Azure irises widened as the mother wolf's words sunk in, and Kaoru frowned down at the cub in her lap. "You were all… human?"

Dark eyes assessed her critically, and she did not react the same as any of the others that let such secrets known to her. "I'm sorry. I thought you would have already known."

Looking from Tokio, to the delicate tea cup, and then down once more to the wolf cubs, she became somber. "I suppose I did, but… I have not had it confirmed until now." Scratching at Tatsuo's ear, his eyes closing appreciatively, she bit her lip. "How… did this happen to everyone?"

"I am not sure, my lady. Magic of some sort. Very strong magic. Only the master knows everything."

"So I've heard." Resigned to this answer Kaoru pursed her lips, wondering if she would ever have the nerve to ask Kenshin herself what was going on with the palace. Though it would make little difference if he decided not to answer her.

"Kao-dono, play with us." Tsuyoshi pushed against her shoulders, urging her to get off the porch and out into the small yard.

"Yes, Lady Kaoru, please, play with us."

"Kao-dono…"

"You cannot be rough with the lady, boys. You will have to play a nice game."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Saitou came home later to a view he would have never expected. Not only was the new lady that was supposed to be staying at the palace in his yard, but she was playing with his children. His first reaction was immediate disapproval; a natural instinct to keep any anomaly or threat clear of his offspring. He knew nothing of this little girl except that she had captured their master's attention, and anything that _boy_ found interesting he was loathe to accept.

A few steps closer, however, and he was gripped by apprehension and even a touch of fear. They were only playing a game of tag, Kaoru with a blindfold over her eyes as she reached for the four cubs dancing around her, but when she caught Tsuyoshi he knew he wanted her gone. His middle child was the most reckless of the bunch, and proved it by pouncing into her chest when she snagged him around the middle. Falling back on her rump, a small sound of surprise and pain woofing from her lips, she was further pinned when the cub pressed both paws into her collar and began licking her face. Now flat on her back and squirming, it looked for a moment like something less harmless than a mere game.

What if the lord were to hear about this? What if he were to _see _it? It was no secret he followed the girl around like he was her personal bodyguard. If he was to come upon this sight without knowing the extent of the situation, he would not hesitate to intervene. Already the lord had proven he would tolerate no one threatening or hurting her. Hadn't Saitou himself been warned against simple intimidation? If he were to think his son was hurting her…

Giggling and laughing, Kaoru began fending the cub off with both hands covering her face as Tsuyoshi's tongue lapped at her palms and any skin he could reach between her splayed fingers. She was being very careful with the boy by keeping her weight on her back and not twisting to throw him off, and not once did she slap at him. A few more seconds past and it occurred to Saitou that if something was going to happen it would have already come about. Also… his boys must really like this lady.

Nearly breathless, Kaoru blinked in surprise when the wolf cub suddenly jumped off of her, the others that had joined in to nip at her toes, ears, and hair abandoning her as well. Sitting up carefully she pulled off the blindfold and looked around to see what had caused them to give up. Once again they were lined up in a perfect little row, all facing a larger wolf still pacing towards them on the street. Kaoru recognized him as the one she had faced at the shrine.

"Welcome home, Father." They chorused in unison, all except the youngest. With his lolling tongue and happy demeanor, he bounced once for his greeting.

"Welcome home, Daddy!"

Once again Tsuyoshi whapped the baby, but this time they were kept from jumping into another fight by Saitou's stern command to be still.

"We have a guest. You will behave yourselves."

Tatsuo yipped at their father's announcement and turned with a bounce, racing back over to run into Kaoru's legs. "Kao-dono! Kao-dono!" Laughing at his enthusiasm, Kaoru bent to ruffle his fur. Ignoring the display, Saitou marched past and trotted up the steps where Tokio was bringing him out his own saucer of tea. Settling down next to his wife, Kaoru waiting patiently as she scratched at Tatsuo's ears, he finally looked up and addressed her.

"Is there something the new lady needs of me, or is she merely making a social call?"

_Well… he doesn't waste time, does he?_ Swallowing her sudden nervousness, Kaoru bowed just slightly at the waist. "I was told you are responsible for the safety of everyone who resides here, much like a type of law enforcement. I'm not familiar with… everyone around here but I was… given the impression that there might be a few who are not as peaceful as the rest." Trying to be delicate, Kaoru stumbled over her words. She was also too aware that she needed to try and make her request sound convincing without coming out like an order.

"Are you asking for a bodyguard, my lady?"

Frowning, Kaoru ground her teeth at his mocking tone. "No. I can take care of myself just fine, thank you." He seemed amused by the notion, and she clenched her fist to keep from spiking into a temper. "I plan on utilizing the training hall to air out all of the late lady's possessions, and I would like to make sure they make it back into her pavilion in the same perfect condition that they come out. I was told you might be able to help me make sure of that."

"Such meaningless items are not cause enough for me to pull my men from their posts. We have a more important job to uphold, protecting people, not baubles and clothing."

"I would only need someone to stay the night with them, I can manage on my own during the day. Besides, I don't expect anyone would be foolish enough to come that close to the training hall in broad daylight. Can you not spare even one guard?"

"We are spread thin as is, _Lady_ Kaoru. We do not have the time to waste on your silly trinkets and idiotic sympathies. I must protect the citizenry, not from vandals, but from the outside world. It is easy for us to become part of the food chain, easy for the outside wildlife to exploit our unfamiliarity with their world. Their lives are more important to me than a bunch of kimono. Even if they did belong to our _master's_ mother."

Blue eyes cast downward, Kaoru felt stupid now for even asking. Of course everyone else was more important, and she could not fault him for wanting to protect lives. Not when her own sword style demanded nothing less. It wasn't as if she didn't have a backup plan for his refusal anyway. It just meant one long night for her.

"Very well, Saitou-san. I understand." Bowing again, she scratched one last time at the youngest ears before standing straight. "Thank you for your time, and the tea was wonderful, Tokio-san."

Turning to leave, she missed the moment Saitou's head shot up higher, his features pulling into a deeper frown. "Are you not going to order to me to do your bidding, lady?"

"What?" Stopping mid-stride, Kaoru blinked at him in confusion.

"You came here only to make a simple request? Not to demand?" Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. Not from any noble or guest that had stayed within the house he had served his entire life. No one with a higher ranking than him had ever given him a choice.

"How could I demand anything from you, Saitou-san? I am not a noble lady." Gesturing with a half-sardonic laugh down at her clothing, she let him know just how amusing the mere thought was. "Have you ever seen a noble woman wear anything like this before? Not to mention, allow herself to be covered in dirt? I really doubt it. Not after seeing all those boxes full of kimono that Lord Kenshin's mother used to wear. And even if I am a guest, I don't feel like I could demand anything out of anyone."

"But you could have just asked the lord to command me. You are already aware that I cannot say no."

Snorting Kaoru crossed her arms and looked away with an upturned nose. "I wouldn't ask that little spoiled brat for anything, let alone to make someone do something they obviously don't want to. Besides, you have a good reason. Lives _are_ more important. I was already prepared to do it myself, I just figured you and anyone you have working under you would have a better idea of what you're looking out for. That's all." Shrugging, she uncrossed her arms and let them dangle back at her sides. "Whatever it is that makes the palace servants nervous will be wary of me for awhile anyway. It should be enough for one night."

"Indeed…" _I guess she doesn't know yet, about her little follower._ Situated now on the porch, it had taken him a few minutes, but Saitou was now able to spot the lord's presence. He was hidden well, even in broad daylight and with his bright red skin and hair, it was still quite hard to find him. _I doubt any of those fools she's talking about will come within a mile of the palace with him there keeping an eye on her. Even still… _Now that the lord knew she had come all the way into the city simply to request a favor of him, he couldn't refuse her… even if he had still wanted to.

"I… I would like to ask another favor, though." She seemed timid now, and it peeked his interest.

"Oh? What now?"

"Would it be alright if I called again sometime? To visit Tokio-san and play with the boys. I had a lot of fun." Smiling as the four wolf cubs barked in agreement, she started to giggle when they began jumping up and down in excitement at the thought.

"It seems I will be given no chance to deny your request, this time."

"Thank you very much." Beaming now, and waving, she said another goodbye and then she was gone.

"Hajime… you know very well you can spare at least two of the men for her. It won't hurt you at all."

"I'm aware of that, woman." Eyes following the master as he retreated, a meaningful look cast through crimson strands suggesting his lord had known of his scrutiny the entire time, Saitou growled low in his throat. "I had planned on sending two this evening."

"Then why did you say no to her?"

"To see if she would let me." The lord had disappeared now, no doubt following the little girl like a lost puppy. The analogy was most appropriate, Saitou thought, as she seemed to be more like the master than that boy had for the last eight or nine centuries. It did not bode well with the wolf that the supposed lord of their city had ignored his people and duties for as long as he had. "To see where her priorities lie."

"And you were satisfied, dear?"

"She has potential."

"I thought so too."

X

Kenshin was a little miffed. For one thing… he couldn't find Kaoru anywhere. He had tried to make it a habit of leaving the table at meals before she did so that it was not quite so obvious that he was following her around. Not that he needed to justify his actions or hide them from anyone. What he did in his own palace was his business. He only wanted to keep it secret from her because he knew what kind of a fight that would start. It wasn't like he watched her bathe. There just wasn't anything else to do, and Kaoru was the only thing he had found interesting in the last thousand years.

After lunch, however, he had gone to find her like always and found instead that none of her usual spots were occupied. Now, four hours later, he was getting annoyed with his inability to locate one simple little girl. One girl centuries younger than he and completely inexperienced.

_Perhaps she left._

It wasn't as if their fighting had stopped, especially after the kimono dispute they had yet to resolve. She had taken to smiling more in the last three days, though, and just that morning she had greeted him without a trace of hesitance or anger. That smile had been warm, innocently gleeful, but not really for him. Something else had pleased her. Something that was no doubt the reason he could not now find her.

_Perhaps she really did leave. Maybe she planned a way to escape my attention, and that is why I cannot find her. Maybe she is already halfway back home. _The frown lines on his face deepened and that bitterness he had felt towards her before returned. So she had run off. What did he care? It wasn't as if that heartwarming smile of hers had affected him. It wasn't as if he would miss her.

The training hall had been the last place he had thought to look, just to see if she might have left something behind that had belonged to his mother. Almost upon the doors now, his mind already trying to toss her aside, he began to hear noises from within that had not been heard in longer than even the curse knew. For a moment he wondered if his ears were deceiving him. No one but him and his brothers had ever utilized the training hall. Were their ghosts back to haunt him? Were his thoughts of the past tricking him into hearing those long ago echoes?

Clawed fingers trembling, he slowly cracked open one of the shoji, nearly afraid to see what was on the other side. If it were empty, he would know his mind was finally breaking under the pressure of a thousand years of isolation and depression. If they really were there… then his mental deterioration would be further along than he thought.

It was not empty… but his mind was not imagining anything, either. No young boy or man danced around the hall with a sword in hand, playing out the ballet of death they had all been taught. In fact, as he stared, his eyes widening in shock, he could find no death in any of the strokes at all. The technique now being practiced within these walls that knew nothing but chaos and destruction was not meant for killing. Kenshin knew this without a doubt because he had delivered death to many… and this was not how one went about it.

There was strength, though. There was determination. Most of all, there was joy. _So this was the meaning behind that smile._

This was… unexpected. It was not, he found, displeasing. Watching the firm way the wooden practice sword in her hand swished through the air with precision, he wondered why he had not realized her discipline before. After all, she was the only child of a samurai. A samurai who owned a dojo and taught others his skill.

Much of her personality made sense to him now. Samurai were trained to be strong willed and independent; their thoughts quick, their actions quicker. She was still young in her experience and training, but she had the makings of a true warrior maiden. Perhaps it was the very reason she had been able to stand before him and feel no fear of his appearance as that child of four.

_No. I have stood before many samurai like this, and none of them have reacted like she. Even her father was frightened… though I know that is only because of those stories his village still holds onto. Not to mention I was trying to intimidate all of them._ A small smirk pulled at the side of his lip. _Either way, she was only a child when she first saw me… not old enough to begin her training. She is different in other ways. Ways that make her practice of a non-killing technique as easy as if she were simply breathing._

Settling himself down on the veranda, his hand pushing the shoji open wider, he transitioned into his favorite pastime easily. Watching her now just got a whole lot more interesting.

X

A/N: Well, it's a little late, but this last week has been completely irritating. No need for me to complain, though. Um, I wanted to put some other stuff in here, but it was getting a little long, and adding it would have made it even longer and drawn out, plus I've got a better idea to make it transition nicer. Saitou's always fun, and the boys were a little too cute, but I wanted them to like Kaoru so they could win their dad over to her side. It seems he has some good reason not to like their lord much, and there just might be a few of the citizens running around under the curse that like him even less. Uh oh. Wonder what that's about. I did downplay Kenshin's reaction to Kaoru's training a little bit, but the next chapter will be better, and he will explain himself, so just be patient. Besides… why wouldn't he like a little warrior maiden? lol Oh, and it also seems samurai have attacked the palace before while under the curse. You guys don't even know how much shit I've got planned. Anyway, please, please, please, leave a review and tell me what you think. Ask questions. Do what you please. Thanks for all who have, and I'll be seeing you…


	10. Brothers

Wolf cubs are so cute! Kawaii! Ok… now that you've had your dose of sugar… let's bite into some real meat.

Disclaimer: Everything that's made up is mine. Everything that's someone else's isn't.

**Chapter 10: Brothers**

Something strange was going on. It was in the way Kenshin no longer showed displeasure towards her clothing. At least, not while they were anywhere but at the dinner table. He still seemed to think it completely inappropriate that she should dress the way she did and sit down to eat. Like their meal time was something special.

There was still a large amount of leftover frustration over his mother's kimono. He had been pleased when finding her carefully hanging each of their layers up inside the training hall, all the shoji open to allow for the crisp air to relieve them of any stale odor. They had even shared an almost comfortable conversation together. Of course, that entire day alone had been strange; starting with her adventure to the Saitou residence; to finding muddy paw tracks from a certain mutt all over her clean verandas; to wondering how she was going to hang each of the delicate pieces of silk without snagging them on her calluses; and ending with two affable wolf guards appearing to stay up with the valuable collection. The next day, however, upon finding that she was not airing out the kimono so that she could wear them, the lord had returned to scowling at her.

Kaoru was very much aware of how offended he was that she would not dress like one of his noble women, but she herself was still hurt in a prickly corner of her chest. It wasn't a feeling she was experienced with, and she found herself quite incapable of dealing with it. So she ignored it. It was the only way she could make it through those situations they had to share without succumbing to another emotion she was just a bit unsure of. It wasn't a happy sensation, and she was a little afraid it might lead her into a fight with him she would not be able to get away from unscathed.

Training helped. Training had always helped, and now that she had somewhere to train, she was feeling much happier and at ease. This mood was preferable, and she fervently wished for it to rub off on Kenshin. So she smiled, each day, and greeted him like he might be a friend, hoping that if she ignored their troubles he would do the same and they could go on as if nothing had happened. They may have even been able go past it and become true friends. There was much about Kenshin that was exasperating and sometimes idiotic, but there were also moments when she could see a person just as normal as she. That was the person who always greeted her politely and tried to hide his enjoyment over her enthusiasm at meal times.

It was in the uncomfortable way he had brushed off her questioning about his protection when she was four. It was the off-hand way he had complimented her clumsy necklace, pleased and wary over her wearing it at all times. It was the vulnerable way his voice had shook while speaking of his mother and the slight quiver in his hand as he had touched the screens in her pavilion. It was the heartache they shared, the kimono he loved, and that iron wall he kept around himself that broke only on rare occasions. Just recently, it was the way his eyes looked at her training clothes with slight wonder instead of disgust.

She suspected she knew why he was accepting her outfits with a more reasonable air. Only a week after her training had reassumed, Kaoru found her awareness of her surroundings sharpening like it always did. She was just slightly surprised by how dull her senses had become, but she kind of thought that might have been because she was now besieged by animals instead of humans. When she finally did notice, though, the gleam of amber irises from a partially open shoji and dark red hair shadowed by the shelter of the overhanging roof, she had nearly stumbled through the rest of that kata. It wasn't as if she had expected her pastime to go unnoticed, but she had not anticipated his interest in such a fixed and intense way. Every single day she would covertly sneak a look at that same shoji, and every single day he was there, watching as if he had nothing else in the world better to do.

_He probably doesn't. Spirits know I would get bored after a few centuries._

Now that he did know she was a samurai in training she half-expected him to lecture her over that one as well. Fighting was not lady-like, not in the least, or so she had always been told by the villagers. That same evening after discovering him studying her in the training hall, she had braced herself for the coming storm. First it was the way she cleaned up after herself, then it was the way she dressed, next it was the way she wanted to spit-shine the palace into shape, after that it was the court kimono she refused to wear, and now it was the boyish way she taught her body swordsmanship. Not one ounce of her was lady-like and this, she was sure, was the final straw.

However, not one word of it had passed his lips, and she was slowly starting to accept that there wouldn't be a confrontation about it. It still unnerved her, when she caught him watching, or when he politely acknowledged her without one sniff of that flat, snobbish nose because of her clothing. In fact, he seemed fine with it, as if all the ladies he had known were skilled with a sword.

_I highly doubt that. I wonder what he's really thinking._

It was late morning and Kaoru had wandered herself out to the larger pavilion over the pond, her sapphire irises staring at the icy water as she curled just slightly in on herself. It was really cold with the chill trying to seep into her very bones, and the sky overhead was a thick, dark ominous blanket speaking of winter. Soon it would snow. Maybe even that day. It always snowed earlier up on the mountain, and Kaoru was starting to realize it got colder quicker, too. It was days like these that made her miss home.

Closing her eyes she tried to forget her recent contemplations and imagine home's warmth instead. She remembered the comfort of her mother and father and the heat from their fire as lunch simmered on the stove. It would smell so wonderful, chasing the cold from her body with its spicy aroma, and she would snuggle just a little deeper into her father's arms.

"_Mama, tell me a story."_

_Soft laughter, her mother's laughter, tinkled in her ears. "Wouldn't you rather your father tell you a story?"_

"_Nuh-uh. His stories are weird."_

"_Oh?" Another giggle. This one amused as her father grumbled._

"_I like yours. Yours are nice, Mama."_

"_Alright, dear." Her graceful movements flowed from corner to corner of their small kitchen, keeping track of their meal as she spoke. "Once, a long, long time ago, there was a sorceress. She was beautiful and kind, and everyone loved her. Great was the power she possessed, yet she used it only to help those who were in need. Peasant and noble alike sought her out for that power. Even, it is said, the emperor himself. There were many, as well, who tried to woo her, for she was a beauty without equal."_

"_Except for you, koishii."_

"_Be quiet, anata. I'm trying to tell a story." Kaoru giggled, her father hiding his laughter in her hair. "As I was saying, there were many men who desired her… but her heart was already taken. She had given it to a childhood friend, a boy who grew to become her lover, and soon, her husband. Their love was great, and their kindness equal. They wished only for a quiet life, but there were many things happening in the world that they could not control._

"_A new breed of warrior was arising, nobles began fighting for more land and power. Many of them were quickly deterred, but one lord in particular would not be quelled. Time and time again he would attack his neighboring lands, seeking to widen his territory, wanting more and more than he already had. The cries from the people became outraged, begging their own lords to help them, to protect them. Finally it became too much, and war broke out._

"_Wanting only to protect his wife and the people of his village, the husband of the sorceress joined the battle. Being heavy with child, she could not go with him, and so she prayed for his safe return…"_

"… _What is it, Mama? Why did you stop? What happened to her husband?"_

"_Oh baby… he never came home."_

Kaoru was jerked out of her thoughts as Yahiko, his large paws thumping against the walkway, came barreling towards her. "Lady, Lady! There's someone here to see you!"

Heart jumping, her eyes lighting up, Kaoru felt the smile on her lips tremble. "There is?"

Nodding, the tiger seemed almost as eager as she. Who could blame him, though? She was the first guest they had had in too long. Another guest would interest anyone. "The lord said you should see him in."

"Well, just this once I think I should do as he asks, then." Grinning, Kaoru fast-walked her way back down the veranda and to the steps that divided it into two sections. A couple skips down them, her feet shoving into her sandals, and she was heading towards the gate. Yahiko followed her, no doubt curious, and she opened the doors with his large head pushing at the back of one knee.

"Father!"

"Aijou." There was a smile on his face when he hugged her back, and Kaoru was relieved to find his depression had not won out over his mind. "I hope you are well." He pulled back to look her over, his own expression amused at finding her in her training clothes. "You will freeze without something warmer to wear, aijou."

"Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to figure out something soon." Reluctantly agreeing, Kaoru sighed. She supposed she could layer her training kimono, and she did have one overcoat, though it was a little thin and worn. Without warning the amusement on his face turned to shock and she yelped when he jerked her by her elbow. "Father!"

"Kaoru, watch out!"

Twisting her head behind her to see what had upset him, she saw nothing but Yahiko still standing framed in the gate. "Watch out for what?" Retrieving her elbow, she rubbed at the joint and gave him a worried look.

"For what? Aijou, do you not see that young tiger?" His voice was now a whisper, and his arm outstretched in front of her to herd her backwards as he tried to retreat. Yahiko, finally catching on to what had frightened him, looked just slightly downtrodden.

"Father, Yahiko's not going to hurt either of us. Jeez." Pushing her way around him, Kaoru approached Yahiko and gave him a smile. "Don't be upset, Yahiko-chan. Father's just not used to you."

"What, now you're going to call me little, too?" There was a grumpy tone to his voice and his features scowled, which made him look all the more intimidating and forced Koshijirou to back up a few more paces. "I'm older than both of you, ya know?"

Seeing what had really upset him, Kaoru tried not to giggle. "Sorry, Yahiko-kun. I forgot."

"It talks?" Voice really high-pitched and unsure, Koshijirou stopped moving to stare at the tiger in a daze.

"Oh… yeah, sorry Dad. I guess you wouldn't be used to that either, huh?"

"You heard it too?"

"Yes, Father. You're not going crazy, I promise." Waving him over with a hand, she laughed when he hesitantly scooted closer to her side. "Father, this is Yahiko. Yahiko, this is my father."

"Well, he's doing a lot better than you did."

"Shut up, brat." Irritated, Kaoru growled down at him. Smiling now that he was getting her riled up, Yahiko continued helpfully.

"Lady Kaoru passed out cold the first time Sano talked to her."

"My daughter? Fainted?" It was an intriguing thought, and Koshijirou couldn't help the tease that entered his voice even though he was still a little uncomfortable with the tiger talking to him. His daughter wasn't having any problems, however, and it made it easier for him to adjust to.

"Yep. Fell over like a log."

"Alright, that's enough. Run along and tell Tae-san that she's going to have another mouth to feed at lunch time." Shooing him away, Yahiko still grinning like it was his birthday, Kaoru stuck out her tongue and swatted at his tail when he turned.

"So, I take it he's not the only one here that…"

"Everyone here is like that, Father, so be prepared. They're all different kinds of animals, and when I say all different kinds, I mean it." Laughing, Kaoru hooked her arm through his and led him into the palace grounds, shutting the gate behind them. "I met an elephant about a week ago. He was really nice."

Koshijirou's blue eyes were searching over the view in front of him, slightly awed by everything that he was seeing. It was a much bigger place than he had expected, and it was in much better shape, too. "Where… is the master, Kaoru?"

Shrugging, Kaoru turned him up the steps to the western pavilion. "Somewhere about. He usually just does his own thing. He knows you're here, though. He sent Yahiko to inform me."

"Ah." Careful to watch her expressions and reactions, he was relieved to find nothing there that would cause him worry. _She has been treated decently, at least. And she seems comfortable. For this, I am grateful._

"Tell me about home, Father. Did you get any new students?"

They spent until lunchtime catching up, and Kaoru was happy that he had three students now living at the dojo. They were excellent trainees, or so she was informed, and she felt a pang of jealousy at his praise, reluctant to give up her place as his best apprentice. There was still quite a bit about the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu that she was unaware of, and now that she was living separate from her father it was going to be all the harder to learn it. Though a part of her wanted to savor her limited days with him, another wanted to utilize them for her training. She wondered if there wasn't a way to achieve both.

Kenshin came in late to lunch, which was unusual, but they waited patiently since Tae stubbornly refusing to serve the food until he was seated. With him on her left and her father on her right, the entire room seemed suddenly tense and the air thick. Unlike with his first meeting with her, Kenshin tried to hide nothing about his appearance. His head was held high and his posture was very haughty and arrogant. The bangs covering his face lay close against his scales while the large width of his irises were like twin-golden suns peering out between crimson clouds. The wings at his back fluffed slightly, spreading his long hairs outward, and even though he wore only a set of hakama he seemed quite dignified. It was like he was a true master of the palace who showed up whenever it pleased him.

Koshijirou was more openly guarded and Kaoru could tell the posture of the red-scaled lord was intimidating and alarming to him. His own pose was as taut as a bow string, but perhaps that had been Kenshin's plan all along. Needless to say, nothing was spoken over the meal and Kenshin retreated just as smoothly when it was finished. Koshijirou didn't bother to mask his sigh of relief when he was gone.

"Is it always like that?" Wondering how his daughter did it, he closed his eyes to try and focus his chaotic energy.

"No. Usually he talks to me a little. I think you made him a nervous."

"I made _him _nervous?" Thinking her silly for even suggesting something so obviously wrong, he shook his head. "Aijou, I don't think anyone could make him nervous."

"You'd be surprised." Standing and brushing at her pant legs, Kaoru gestured towards the door. "Would you like a tour around the palace? Katsu-san would be tickled if I showed off his new paintings, and everyone has worked so hard to clean it up, it wouldn't be right not to brag."

X

They were in the training hall now. A setting they had occupied since mid-afternoon after Kaoru had led the man around the palace like it was some grand tour. Her father wasn't nearly as comfortable as she was, and each time he was introduced to a new servant his energy spiked just a little higher anxiety. Now that they were training together, however, he was focused and in a familiar element

It was the ease in which they moved against each other that did it. The way they were both accustomed to how the other fought. The way they trusted one another implicitly. Kenshin was jealous. He had never had that.

Even during his training no mercy had been shown. If he could not counter the attack then he would suffer the result. It had been a ruthless experience, and there were many scars on his body to remind him of it. No trust had ever been developed between him and his master, but his father had wished it to be so. Even though his father had been his master. _Especially _since his father had been his master.

His father had only ever wanted sons that could win in battle. He would tolerate nothing less than fierce warriors who relied on no one but themselves and killed without a trace of remorse. With four boys to raise in such a way it seemed only natural that at least one of them would live up to his expectations. As the youngest Kenshin had nothing to look forward to in terms of inheritance, and so there was nothing for him except to please his father.

He had learned the hard way that his father was never pleased.

A cold breeze ghosted over his bare back and the thin leather of his wings drew just a bit closer to his scales. Winter was always the most uncomfortable time of year for him, and he usually spent most of it huddled in his rooms but today he did not move. It wasn't like he could fall ill, no matter how far his body temperature dropped. Nothing natural could kill him. Only a death blow by his own hands or the hands of another could claim his life. The curse made sure of that.

So he sat on the planks of the open veranda, watching from the outside a dance of far less danger and of more beauty than the one he had been taught. He wanted to scoff at their silly idea of warping the meaning of swordsmanship into something so weak, but at the same time he was drawn to the peace it seemed to carry in its movements. Neither of them were tainted by something as heavy as death, nor hated because of their skill in bringing it.

Golden eyes stared, watching as the wooden practice swords clacked together and Koshijirou's voice rang out a warning of her timing. She nodded, paused to catch her breath, and threw herself back into the fight. Kaoru was good, but her father was a master and it was easy to tell the difference in their skill. It would be a few years yet before she would be able to best him.

A deep breath pulled through his nose and the match before him blurred just slightly to show him different figures darting through the hall. There were four, each with hair as red as the setting sun. Three were attacking the smallest.

"_Today, Kenshin, is your fifteenth birthday. You are more than old enough to join your brothers in battle." Himura Izo stared down at him with eyes as icy and hard as his name suggested. Like tough amber gems, his irises spoke of nothing but complete and utter control. Nothing would break that control, and he would settle for nothing less than complete obedience, either. "Now you will be tested, like your brothers before you. Do not fail."_

"_Yes, Father."_

_Saluting him briefly, Kenshin turned to face his opponents. Across the hall his three brothers stared back. Each held live steel in their hands, like he; all bared and deadly sharp. No flimsy practice sword would do for Himura Izo, and neither would it do for his sons. This was a test of endurance, strength, and skill. If he were to allow himself to be killed by his older brothers, then he was not worth the time to send into battle. Just from the look on their faces he knew they would not be merciful. Kenshin would not be merciful either._

_Even though he had withstood the rigorous training of his father, a spark of nervousness tugged at his belly. Shinta, his oldest brother, had mastered the sword far quicker than the others. With his sharp wit and calm composure he would not be an opponent to underestimate. Tenshi, the next to oldest, was a ruthless man who enjoyed fighting even more than he enjoyed his women companions. Already there was a fire of excitement and death burning in his eyes. Isamu, though only five years older than Kenshin, was already renowned on the battlefield for his strength and fortitude. One blow from his sword, it was said, could crush a man much bigger than Kenshin's small stature._

_Out of the corner of his eye he caught movement from Shinta and turned in time to see a small, encouraging smile pull at the corners of his mouth. Before arriving at the hall Shinta had stopped him on the veranda with a hand on his shoulder in that ease they shared as siblings. "Remember, little brother, you promised to be my protector. I want to see how firm your resolve truly is before I decide if you are worthy or not."_

_Kenshin had made the bold declaration Shinta had spoken of as a child of barely seven years. What kind of protection he had thought to give his eldest brother that he alone could not offer himself was beyond him now that he knew better. There was only one man stronger than Shinta… and that was their father._

_Eyes closing, he steadied his racing heart. No matter what the outcome of Shinta's decision he had to prove he was at least worthy of his father's approval. No… that was not true. There was nothing in his life that he truly wanted. That hadn't changed since childhood. He did not want family like Shinta, nor power like Tenshi, nor even honor like Isamu. He wanted only to stay where he was, because trying to find a new path outside of the one he was on was undesirable. He would best Shinta. He would prove he could protect him better than even their father._

_At Izo's signal Kenshin readied himself to face their charge._

Something cold and wet alighted on the tip of one wing, forcing his thoughts back to the present. Turning, Kenshin watched as snow lightly dusted the grounds behind him. The snows were later than usual, but it would not change the fact that they would be swift and harsh like every other winter before. Just as the strikes from his katana had been.

"_That is enough."_

_Kenshin let the sword in his grip relax until the tip pointed at the ground, his eyes sweeping over the three opponents that had faced him on their feet not fifteen minutes before. Only he now stood while they lay or knelt on the polished wooden floor, their lungs gasping for breath. For a moment Kenshin felt surreal as the adrenaline from the fight left his brain and he swayed; light-headed and faint. He was not winded at all, and his eyelashes widened as he understood what kind of difference there was between him and his defeated brothers. The fight had been rigorous… but nothing like a single match with his father._

_Features returning to an impassive mask, he looked to Izo for the approval he had earned. For surely approval was nothing less than should be given after the absolute victory he had achieved over his brothers. Nothing but disdain passed over those features, however, and not once did his amber eyes look at Kenshin. Instead, they too surveyed the three trampled boys, all old enough now to be called men, and a derisive sniff twitched one of his nostrils._

"_You call yourselves samurai? The three of you together could not kill one little boy fresh out of training."_

_Kenshin found it was suddenly very hard to breathe as the air he had no problem taking in only seconds ago escaped him. It hurt, this feeling, but it was not truly new. It was only a build up of emotion that had finally reached its climax, and now, standing at its peak, he was faced with what he did not want. Two paths, both veering away from the other. Kenshin did not like change. Blindly stepping off the cliff in front of him, Kenshin choose to take neither._

_Tensed muscles loosened and the mask on his face did not crack. The pain faded until there wasn't even a dull ache, and he looked away to the wall. None of it had ever mattered to him. He realized that now. Whatever his father said, Kenshin was merely there to do his bidding._

"_It is obvious that Kenshin is a master the likes of which none of us has ever seen before, Father." Kenshin looked quickly to Shinta, blinking at his compliment. Rising up from his kneeling position, Shinta smiled across the hall at Izo's retreating form already in the door. "Should you not be proud that your son has taken to the sword so well?"_

_The dissipated ache in Kenshin's chest throbbed one final time and for that one small moment Kenshin felt anger towards his oldest brother for the first time in his life. Anger for giving him hope that he could bring about a reaction from the man they all called father._

"_I am __**ashamed**__, that my oldest son and heir to my holdings was bested by a fifteen year old boy." Storming out of the training hall, Izo did not look back… and the ache once again disappeared into oblivion to stay._

_Still smiling, Shinta began to laugh softly as he stood to his feet. "I am not ashamed. I am proud to have such a brother to protect me and my family." Walking over to Kenshin, he threw an arm around his shoulders and ruffled his hair like he always did. "Now I can rest easy, knowing nothing could possibly harm all that I care for. Right, little brother?"_

_Looking around Shinta's shoulder, Kenshin watched Isamu roll over onto his back, a groan tearing from his lips at the wound in his side. Tenshi was just sitting up, rubbing his head, and the look in his dark yellow eyes spoke of nothing but hatred as he glared across the hall at Kenshin. It was deep and dark hatred for the brother that had caused him such humiliation. A servant came running up from behind, helping Isamu to his feet, and Kenshin left the unadulterated loathing of his second to oldest brother for the third. There was no pity in himself for them, nor hatred, but Kenshin was surprised to feel a touch of condescension at the shadow of fear in Isamu's eyes._

"_Right, little brother?" Tilting his chin, he looked slightly up at Shinta and returned to the ever present serenity he exuded._

"_I promised to always protect you, Shinta-sama. It is my duty as your brother to do so."_

"_Great." Smacking him on the back, Shinta grunted as the shock sent a twinge up his own arm. "Spirits, kid… you didn't go easy on us did you." Rubbing his shoulder, he laughed again, unaware of the dark feelings coming to life in his other two brothers. Then his smile turned softer as two figures came in through the door their father had exited, and Shinta threw his arm back around Kenshin's neck to drag him over. "You missed my greatest defeat, Yuriko-dono. My little brother here has just finished teaching us all a new lesson."_

"_Are you hurt, Shinta-sama?" Kenshin watched as Yuriko, his brother's wife, hurried forward, worry in the set of her mouth and the crease of her brow. There was a towel in her hands to wipe at his face, and a haori thrown over an arm for him to wear so he would not catch a chill in the cold air outside._

"_I'm fine, beloved…"_

_Kenshin was distracted as soft fingers touched his elbow, and he turned to look at the second woman. Kinuko… his beautiful, delicate mother with her eyes like perfect, soft violets. "I'm proud of you, Kenshin. You have worked so hard for this strength to protect your brother." Her smile was soft, as always, and she nudged at his arms to bundle him in his own haori. "Why don't we ask for a special dinner tonight to celebrate? The cook's new apprentice makes a wonderful dessert, I've heard."_

"Oww!"

Kenshin snapped his head back around to look at Kaoru's kneeling form in the training hall, her fingers empty of the wooden sword that now lay discarded on the floor. She was messaging the back of her hand, and biting her lip as if to stale the pain.

"I'm sorry, aijou. Are you badly hurt?" Koshijirou knelt next to her, reaching to cradle her injured hand in his.

"I'm sure it's fine, but I'll probably have a nasty bruise."

"I'm sorry."

"Be quiet, old man. It was my fault." Twisting her wrist around and curling her fingers rapidly, she tried to work out the ache. "It's already feeling better, so it wasn't that bad. I want to try that one again, though, so I can figure out what I did wrong."

"Not while you're hurt, aijou. Why don't we pick this up another day?"

"What other day, Father?" Standing and throwing out her arm in negation, her features turned fierce. "We've already wasted half of one, and you only have thirteen more to visit me! I don't want to waste any of them on a small injury like this!"

Koshijirou's face crumpled just slightly, and Kenshin sat back to look away. Somewhere, deep in his chest, that feeling he had thought he'd banished centuries ago throbbed. Behind him, the snow continued to cover the yard.

X

A/N: Just a few notes on the names. Izo means ice or iron. Tenshi means angel (like I said before). Isamu means bravery (which is fun, since I make him start fearing Kenshin). Yuriko means lily child. And Kinuko means child of silk. I liked Kinuko, because of all the kimono she has. Anyway…

This chapter was just thick with info, and I enjoyed writing it the most so far… well, except for the little cutesy scene with Saitou's boys and Kaoru. I got to show a bit of the difference between Kaoru's mom's stories and her dad's. I want to see if any of you caught on to a few details there. Then with Kenshin and his background… I think I'm starting to really like Shinta. And I wonder if anyone noticed that there were only four sons and five wives? Ah well…

Hope that you enjoyed, and that it makes up for my late post of chapter 9. Please leave me a review and hope to see you soon.


	11. Culmination

I am torn… It has come to my attention that this story is coming off as a bit slow and drawn out. I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty, I appreciate honesty. My concern is… does it appear this way because you have to wait for each chapter instead of being able to read it straight through? Or is it because you wish so much to see interaction between Kaoru and Kenshin that you do not care for the entire story? Or is it because my approach is not fluid enough? Or have I tried to please too many people at one time and have lost true intention? As the author, sometimes I can become blinded by the way my stories are perceived by the readers and since I am still working on how best to judge timing and flow, I would like to know what is not needed and what is. I have the unfortunate knowledge of the entire story, and so I am trying to build this correctly for certain situations so that it does not seem so sudden and awkward. I apologize if I have let it take me too far from the path. I do assure that everything I have written I have thought to be important… but then, I am my own person and no one else… so what could seem exciting and important to me may not to others. I will apologize once more for my babble and let you proceed with this already drawn out story… lol.

Oh and for the one reviewer who was concerned… Kenshin is a nice guy… I just had to make sure his personality fit the profile I've given him. Don't worry, you'll like him eventually after Kaoru's through with him.

Disclaimer: How could it be? I wouldn't be writing this if it were.

**Chapter 11: Culmination**

Kaoru stared at the foreign haori in her hands, surprised by its presence and the thought of its origin. Outside of the partially opened shoji snow was falling in sheets which made the air cold as it entered the training hall, and the overcoat looked very inviting and warm. A towel had also been folded neatly on top of it to relieve her of her sweat. It was a very gentle and caring gesture, but no one seemed to know where it had come from.

Kenshin had disappeared over an hour before.

"Come along, aijou, before we freeze. Let's see if that nice cook will let us make some hot tea."

Darting blue eyes up to meet her father's own Kaoru gasped in a breath to break the spell of her thoughts and nodded. "Yeah… that sounds great." Hesitating only a moment longer she slipped the oversized haori over her arms.

As evening came swiftly upon them it became quickly apparent that Koshijirou would either have to leave immediately and chance getting lost or frozen in the snow, or stay the night and hope that it would calm down enough for him to leave in the morning. Kaoru was completely against the former idea and insisted she would talk to the lord for an allowance that he stay without penalty. It seemed a rather hopeless possibility to her father, but as dinner was set out and Kenshin's form now ducked at the head of the table, as if once more pulling in on himself and building walls, the suggestion was met with little resistance.

"He didn't arrive until nearly lunch time, Kenshin-sama. I think it only fair that he be able to stay until the same time tomorrow or it shouldn't be counted as a full day at all."

"Very well." The master barely looked at her. Only a brief flicker of torn eyes glancing over the haori she still wore.

"Thank you." Partially worried over his deflated indifference she waved a hand at her father demandingly.

"Yes, t-thank you, my lord."

Kenshin only nodded and continued to pick at his food. To Kaoru he looked bothered or even upset and still in the process of working out a way to deal with whatever was on his mind. As silence pressed down upon them it seemed this meal would be just as quiet as the previous. Determined not to let it Kaoru cleared her throat.

"Tae-san said you were a samurai, Kenshin-sama." Next to her Koshijirou jerked at the sound of her voice. "Is that true?"

The set of his shoulders seemed to sag just a bit further, and Kenshin inclined his head in assent. "Yes. A long time ago… that was the name we were given."

"We? You mean, you and other samurai?" He shrugged, and the action seemed to suggest he was unwilling to speak if he did not have to. "What style did you use? Did it have a name?"

"I was taught… Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu. It was shown to me by my own father." A glance at her showed that she was interested and he reluctantly elaborated. "It is a technique of defense… to protect…" Those blue eyes practically sparked with excitement at this announcement.

"Really? That's not unlike the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu that Father's teaching me. It does not believe that the death of one's opponent is necessary for victory. We defeat our enemy by overpowering their spirit with our own. To protect life." The food was completely forgotten now that she was on a subject she was enthusiastic about, and she leaned forward to get a better view of his features through the curtain of bangs. "Why don't you carry your sword anymore? I bet you were a wonderful protector of this land and its people."

"You are naively mistaken, Kaoru-dono, if you think a sword could ever bring anything besides death." There was much bitterness in the tone of his voice, and the lift of his shoulders was now square and tense. Bright mood dimmed by his anger, Kaoru sat back on her heels with a frown.

"And why not? As a lord you are obligated to protect all that is defenseless in your lands." He twitched irritably as she used his own words against him, and Kaoru ignored her father's warning touch to her sleeve. "How many lives do you think your sword has saved?"

"Not nearly enough to compete with the number it has killed!" The abrupt, angry hiss made her gasp, and he turned away from her, as if giving her his back would block her reaction. "You say your sword is meant for protecting life but has it ever been tested in battle? Have _you _been able to protect anything with your sword?" Slightly nervous, Kaoru looked away. "Because I have not. Samurai are meant to shed blood! That is why we are given blades." Afraid of speaking too much, fearful that any more insight into his past might scare her, Kenshin dropped the chopsticks in his hand and stood to leave.

Kaoru moved as if to follow, her mouth opening to disagree, but Koshijirou grabbed her by the arm and held her down. Shaking his head in negation he warned her not to push the subject any further. He had seen similar haunted looks on many men, and his daughter did not have the experience needed to face that.

"But Father, how can you just sit there when the very principles by which you live are so thoroughly questioned?"

"Kaoru… how old do you think this lord is?"

Worrying her lip she wondered briefly if it was alright to share her theory with her father. "I don't know for sure, but… I suspect everyone here is at least… as old as the palace itself."

Smiling sadly, Koshijirou nodded. "Yes, aijou, I believe you are right. Do you understand what that means, what that suggests about these beings you are surrounded by? Do you know how long the lord of the palace has had to dwell on thoughts such as these?"

"I know, but…"

"Do you, little girl? So do you also know how painful it must be for him to see a style such as ours after thinking for the last thousand years that the one he has been raised on was the truth of his existence? Even you are no doubt painful to simply be around. He has proven that tonight." Kaoru frowned, and her eyes were sad. "I only tell you this because I worry for your safety, aijou. Do not be so reckless with your words in the future. I beg you. If you were to be hurt I would not know what to do."

"You shouldn't worry, Father. Believe it or not, we've been in worse fights." Looking very guilty and contrite, Kaoru half-smiled when her father chuckled.

"Believe it I will, aijou. You have a very strong spirit. That is the very reason I worry."

"But he hasn't hurt me…" _Yet, anyway. Though… I don't know why, but I do not feel that he would ever hurt me. _Fingering the sleeve of her borrowed haori, she frowned at a dark stain on its hem. Was it ink perhaps? Or was it blood?

"Just be careful. I don't like being so far away from you… but let's not spend the rest of our time together arguing. I have brought a present for you, aijou, that I think you will like." Encircling her shoulders with an arm, he squeezed and smiled.

X

The snow had finally let up, and from the look of the sky it would be a nice clear day. After being confined to the palace for a week or so with nothing left to clean, Kaoru was glad for the chance to get out even if she was calf deep in snow. Swinging the basket she had in one arm and kicking at the white flakes to watch them scatter, she tracked through the same set of her own prints for the eighth time that day.

Things at the palace didn't seem to be much different than they had ever been, and each day proceeded like the last. In the mornings she would have breakfast with Kenshin and then she would find something to keep her busy until lunch. After lunch she would train and then bathe. Supper came as the sun was setting and then it was time for bed. Much of the chores were handled by the servants, though she tried to steal as many as they would let her, but as the days went by she found it harder and harder to convince herself that she needed to.

After her father's visit was when the change had happened. A small change, but enough of one for her to feel that she actually missed the days before. Kenshin seemed to be either embarrassed, ashamed, or angry about the confrontation over his samurai origins and was now barely speaking to her. He didn't even watch her train anymore. Kaoru was surprised by how sad this actually made her, but she realized that it was because although she had befriended many of the servants, they were perfectly content to keep to their own lives and duties. As the "lady" they all kept insisting she was there was a distance that stayed between them that was instinctual to their status. Which meant, Kenshin was the closest thing she had to a friend or companion. She was getting lonely with his withdraw.

Kaoru had even tried to please him in a way she had so far fought against. The night her father had stayed he had given her a present: both of her mother's kimono. Koshijirou had insisted that he no longer had any use for them, and as his daughter they rightly belonged to her now. He would have liked, of course, to see her wear one of them at her own wedding, but with the situation they were in that was no longer a likely scenario. Never-the-less, he wanted her to have them with her.

Two days afterwards she had awoke feeling sad and frustrated with the new distance between her and the lord. A distance she hadn't even realized she had bridged before. It was apparent now, in the absence of that bridge, and she found she wanted to span that gap again. So to please him she had dressed herself carefully in her mother's favorite kimono: the one her father had given to her as a wedding gift. It was a pretty dress, and she had expectantly arrived at breakfast knowing he would be happy with her feminine attire.

One look at her kimono and those golden irises had been anything but happy.

In fact, they had been even more livid than they ever had been before, and he had left the table sooner than was normal. The prickly feeling that had taken up residence in her chest had grown with his displeasure, and instead of feeling a return anger, as per usual, she had found herself on the verge of tears. As soon as she had been able to make it back to her rooms the kimono had come off and she had once again dressed in her normal training gear.

Today, however, it didn't matter because the sun was shining, the air was fresh, and she was keeping herself busy. After a long conversation with Tae in the washing room off the kitchen she had discovered that there were quite a few sets of dishes missing. Not something, she was informed, that had happened overnight but over the course of many years. Kaoru understood why, after learning that it was Kenshin himself that was stealing the dishes and leaving them elsewhere. She suspected that before she had arrived to stay he had never sat at the table for fear of his servants seeing the trouble he had eating with simple wooden chopsticks. So instead he had taken his meal in solitude, away from prying eyes. Of course, being a spoiled little lord child, he just never brought the dirty dishes back to be washed.

After a little investigating Kaoru now knew where he used to go, and with Sano and Yahiko in tow behind her, she had gone to inspect the place herself. It was a high ridge up above the city overlooking the entire metropolis, palace, mountainside, and the village and coastline below. The view was really magnificent, and Kaoru understood just why he had picked it. A couple of the older servants said it was a spot he had frequented as a child. The thought of a young Kenshin made her smile.

Piles upon piles of dishes had been buried underneath the snow, many of them broken and shattered. There had been more whole ones than she had expected, however, and the first couple trips she had made up and back again had been reserved for them. Not wanting to leave any sharp shards that might cut any unsuspecting foot, since Kenshin couldn't wear sandals and he might come back, Kaoru had then gone back to clean up the rest. Now on her hopefully last trip, she was starting to feel the strain of the trek on her legs and arms.

The climb was nearly straight up, and even through snow that was already trampled she had to exert more energy than normal. The mutt and tiger didn't seem to be affected, though. The both of them had four legs to support their weight instead of just two. Every once in awhile she was jealous of their four legs and fur coats that were probably a bit warmer than her own clothing. Then she was reminded of how long they had been like that, that they had originally been human, and that both of them had eternally been separated from the ones that they loved.

It had not taken her long to notice the interactions between specific servants under Kenshin's rule: the dog and the fox; the tiger and the kitten; the weasel and the raven; the lemur and the monkey. At least Saitou and his wife had transformed into animals of the same species, though she doubted that was much compensation for the couple. Being an animal at all after being human had to be frustrating. The tortured look she had caught in Misao's eyes one night at not being able to cuddle in her beloved's arms had proven this. How cruel it must feel to simply be unable to show affection the way you wish.

Yahiko shot by her to romp playfully in the snow and Kaoru smiled. In some ways the tiger was just as young as he appeared to be, and for that she was glad. He became angry if she treated him like a child, but there were times when she could tell he didn't mind as much as he insisted. There were other times, though, when he was with Tsubame, the shy kitten, that she could tell just how old he really was. Their love was not a child's love even if it appeared to be just as sweet. He was extremely protective of the small feline, and with the colder weather Kaoru had caught them curled together more than once.

Cresting the steep path up to the ridge Kaoru watched the tiger disappear around the bend up ahead. It was further than they needed to go and with a sigh Kaoru conceded that he was a cat after all, even if he was a big one. He was extremely curious and with the snow and wind as hampering as they were she was a little afraid that curiosity would get him into trouble. Stopping beside the pile of broken ceramic, Kaoru sat down the basket and waved her hand after the boy.

"Why don't you go make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble, Sano-san. These ledges can be tricky, and I don't want him to fall."

Yawning, Sano ruffled his fur and shrugged. "Alright. Will you be okay by yourself?"

Nodding, she promised she wouldn't try to go back down until they both came back. A part of her felt just a little confined by the two chaperones Tae had insisted she take with her, but she was also grateful. Getting lost or breaking her leg without someone else there was not a fun scenario to think about. Swishing his tail lazily Sano followed after the tiger and was soon gone as well.

A gust of wind blew across the face of the mountain and Kaoru pulled the haori she was wearing just a bit closer to her body. She didn't really know why she was still wearing it, as it wasn't hers, but it was a lot warmer and thicker than her own and giving it up was undesirable. She knew she'd freeze without it. No one had said anything to her about wearing it, so far, and in the back of her mind she was slightly afraid to ask who it belonged to. Besides, Kaoru suspected she knew the answer, and they were having so many issues already that she didn't want to start another. So she wore it and kept her mouth shut. It was the only thing he looked upon favorably anymore anyway.

It only took her a few minutes to load the remaining pieces of dishware into her basket. A heavier load than the last few but she didn't really want to come back again. It just meant they would have to go slower on the way back and possibly take a couple breaks. So near the end of the chore, and the end of the day, she just wanted to be finished and in a bathtub full of piping hot water. Yawning herself, Kaoru strained her neck to see if the others were on their way back yet, but there was no one in sight. Settling herself down in the snow to wait, she smiled when she found herself just a bit warmer surrounded by its dense barrier. Packing herself out a little spot, she sat back to rest her weight on her elbows and wiggled her feet around to widen the space. In a few minutes the cold from the snow would begin to seep into her clothing, but for now she was going to enjoy the chance to play a bit herself.

Another burst of wind pulled Kaoru from a doze, and she jerked her head up to stare at the darkening sky. It was getting really late and she was still alone. Too much longer and they wouldn't be able to make it back down the path safely. Standing quickly and shivering as the whole back side of her complained of the cold, she grabbed at the basket and headed towards the bend the other two had disappeared around.

"Sano! Yahiko! We need to get going!" An echo of her own voice was her only answer, and she frowned at the sense of isolation that pressed in around her. "Come on you guys! It's getting cold!" A step forward brought her closer to the ledge as she leaned around the cliff to see the other side. There was no one in sight. "Yahiko!" No answer. "Sanosuke!" A louder echo, taunting her with the touch of anxiety in her tone. "Fine! I'm leaving without you!" Angry now with her own unease, she pivoted with a harsh grind of her heel, and yelped when her foot slipped out from under her.

Everything happened in that slow clarity only mortal danger can bring. Her body slammed face down on the snow and the jagged rocks hidden just beneath it, and the impact pushed the air from her lungs. The heavy basket still clasped in her hand yanked her sideways, and the slippery surface created by her weight compacting the snow helpfully obliged. Suddenly she was aware of the open air her legs were suspended in, but before she could react the rest of her was following their lead as the basket drug her completely off the ridge and tossed her into midair.

Still breathless from the initial impact Kaoru's thoughts raced through subjects that seemed just a bit vague and unrelated to her plight. She wasn't going to get that bath it seemed. Hopefully Sano and Yahiko wouldn't get into any trouble for running off. This fall would no doubt ruin the thick haori she was wearing. She wondered if Kenshin would forgive her for ruining his coat. Would her father find a better successor than she?

Half a second later and she sucked in a quick breath and used her free hand to scrabble with the rocks before they slipped passed. Digging in her nails and crying out as they broke behind the quick, she found purchase at the very lip of the ledge. The force of the momentum was not gone, however, and her body jerked against her fingers, elbow, and finally her shoulder to swing her with a hard slap into the wall of the cliff. Every part of her body was in pain, but the small splits her fingernails seemed to throb the worst, tempting her to let go and relieve their ache. The muscles in her hand twitched, trying to turn to jelly, and she grunted as she forced them to curl even tighter; to hold on even firmer.

Something cracked sharply, the sound breaking and churning like the grinding of stone. Eyes widening, her breath heaving, she felt herself slipping lower even though her grasp did not loosen. The ridge was breaking away. Panicked, she tensed her muscles, but even such a small movement only sped the process along and dropped her another few degrees. Now there was no longer any purchase for her feet to reach. Taking a breath to call for help the rock she clutched onto abruptly gave way and she was once again falling to the ground that was several hundred meters below.

Even though she was falling to her death, she felt a strange moment of relief as the pain in her hand ebbed. Soon, there would be no pain in her body what-so-ever.

For the second time in the span of mere moments her body jerked and swayed, tearing at already sore tissue, and her eyes snapped open before she realized they were even closed.

Strong fingers were wrapped around her wrist, black claws just barely scratching her skin, and a curtain of red hair haloed around her upraised arm, looking like a shimmering wind chime dancing in the breeze. Focusing shocked irises past the pretty distraction of his hair, she looked upon her rescuer and the forever angry scowl on his features. _Always disappointed… always displeased…_

"What the hell were you doing?" The hiss of his words revived the terror in her eyes, and she tensed just enough to slide him a couple spaces closer to the edge. Digging into the ledge for better purchase with his other hand, he growled at her to be still. There wasn't much to hold onto, and even with his weight spread evenly on his belly it wasn't enough to fully counterpoint her own. The heavy basket of broken ceramic pieces still clutched in her other hand was not helping, either. It was just like her to refuse to let go of something so worthless.

There was blood on her wrist that was dripping down from the sickening breaks in her fingernails. One fingernail was missing completely. The slick fluid was making it harder to keep a hold of her, and he could feel her slipping through his fingers.

"Let go…" Biting out the command through clenched teeth, the overwhelming panic that contorted her features told him she had misunderstood already. "…of the basket." If possible her eyes widened further, and the next second the handle was released from her death grip to allow the basket to fall and smash upon the rocks below. Reaching immediately up, that hand now clamped around his forearm in the same manner of desperation. They dropped even lower, and the lip of rock scratched across the soft flesh of his exposed belly.

"Don't let go."

The frightened plea softened the rigid set of his brow just enough to show concern for her. "I won't let you fall."

It was fast becoming obvious that pulling her back up was not an option. The more they moved the more unstable the ledge became. Kenshin could feel it cracking beneath him. Soon there would be nothing left but the sheer cliff face. Instinctively his wings snapped open as they slid even further, and he winced as his pelvic dug into the rock. For a moment she seemed shaken by their appearance, but then she was battling back her alarm in hopeful understanding. _Good, this won't be as hard as I thought._

"This will be tricky, but you are going to have to trust me." Swallowing, she nodded. "I will have to let you go." Her lip trembled briefly, but she nodded again. "I will catch you. I promise." Her next breath was steadying, her hand relaxing around his forearm, and she nodded once more. Releasing her to allow no room for more thought or fear, he struggled hastily to set himself in the right position, dug in with his talons, and launched himself after her.

The force of his own take-off caught him up to her before she had fallen more than a few meters. She wasn't screaming, but she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging as if she'd never let go again. Descending faster than she, the abrupt change in speed threw her legs up to collide with his own, and he grabbed her around the waist to keep from losing her. There was a high-pitched yelp near the vicinity of his throat as they snapped together, but it was all the noise she made and he was grateful she wasn't breaking his eardrums.

The rest of the short flight was tense. Threads of dark hair whipped around his face, her haori sleeves buffeted in the wind, and one of her hands clenched randomly against his shoulder as if trying to convince herself that she was truly safe and alive. Her fear made him angry. The entire situation made him angry. _She_ made him angry. He didn't know if he could take much more of it.

They landed in a drift of snow at the base of the cliff, and out of the corner of his eye Kenshin saw the two wayward servants that were supposed to be watching her come running up. They stopped short at the rage in his gaze. Sano whimpered like the dog he was fashioned after and Yahiko dropped completely down into the snow in fear. Later they would be punished, and they both knew it would not be pleasant.

For a full minute she simply stood there and trembled against him with her face buried in his neck and her arms wrapped tightly around him. The scales covering his skin dug uncomfortably into her soft cheeks, but her legs were shaking so badly she was afraid she might collapse if she let go. She needed to steady them, though, and quickly, so she could get away from him before his temper exploded.

The long strands of his bangs snagged around her ear when she finally pulled away and uncovered half of his face, and when she curiously glanced upwards she was met with the fury she had expected. Her eyes were drawn lower, however, when she noticed the scales on his cheek were uneven and disfigured. There was a scar there she had never seen before. A large one in the shape of an X.

One withdrawn hand almost touched that scar before she remembered what she was doing and she ducked just slightly before stepping completely away. The hair hooked around her ear slithered off and his face was once again covered.

"What were you thinking?"

The vehemence in the question made her flinch just slightly, but as her legs were gaining strength so was her courage. Kaoru hated the thought of being scolded by him. "It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone."

"Only to someone idiotic enough to climb the paths on this mountain in the snow. What were you doing up there?"

He was so patronizing, so disdainful. She hated that better-than-thou attitude. "For your information, I was cleaning up _your_ mess. If you had just brought your dirty dishes back to Tae when you were finished I wouldn't have had to go up there."

"You didn't have to go up there at all. In fact, I am more than tired of you doing everything you should not. It is not your place. It was never your place."

"Then what do you believe is my place?!" Voice swelling in volume, Kaoru tried not to hiss when her injured hand fisted. "Because I don't see one for me! I don't fit in here! I don't know what made you think I would!"

"I don't either!" There was too much going on. Too many things hounding him for his attention. He couldn't handle the stress, or the pain. He hated indecision. He hated when his life was in turmoil, because that meant he would have to change, and he hated when things changed. He wanted his life back the way it was, when he didn't have to do anything, or worry about anything, when he was not expected to be anyone's master. Shinta was supposed to be the master, not him. Perhaps he didn't have a place there, either. "You have been nothing but an inconvenience ever since you came! Your presence has hardly been worth the effort!"

Briefly his eyes looked away from her as he thought of the past few weeks and all of the problems they had accumulated thus far. Nothing was making her happy and he rarely found pleasure in her company. He didn't know what to do to make it better. Everything he had tried only made her angry, and with the donning of her own mother's kimono, brought to her by her father, it was made absolutely clear to him just where her heart was.

Returning his attention to her only a second later he was given no time to react as her open palm slammed into his cheek, whip-lashed his chin to the side, and exploded pain inside his eye. More surprised than anything, as he had never been slapped before, he stood frozen where he was with his body twisted awkwardly. His anger from mere moments before came back in a surging rush to dispel his bewilderment, but when he turned on her to release that anger shock overrode his reaction because of the tears welling from her eyes.

"If I'm so much of a bother then just let me go home!"

Her words were forceful enough, but it was the hiccup at the end that complimented her tears and expressed how deep he had cut her. Ducking her face into her uninjured hand to hide, she turned away to trip and struggle through the deep snow. It did not take long for her bright figure to disappear into the darkness of dead trees, and all that remained of her presence was the resonance of soft breath from her tears.

X

A/N: The beginning of this chapter was a bit rushed, but I wanted to get to their final fight. I hope that you liked, and the chapter should pretty well explain itself, but if you do have any questions, please go ahead and ask. Oh, and no Hiko in this story for obvious reasons. He would have straightened Kenshin out without a second thought, and Hiko never wanted Hiten to be used so viciously in war. So, unfortunately he will be left out. Please leave me a review, and hope to see you all soon. Vacations are wonderful!


	12. Forest Fight

Thanks for all of the encouragement, and I must say, I really like the idea that my story is coming off as a fairy-tale of its own (though obviously since it's based off of one, lol). Of course, I'm all for the cutesy stuff, but I always like to try and keep some kind of reality… so mine's probably more like a drama fairy-tale. XD

Disclaimer: I own no dragon-shaped men. Or men-shaped dragons for that matter. lol

**Chapter 12: Forest Fight**

Kaoru was crying! She couldn't believe it! She hadn't cried since her mother had died twelve years before. Tears were for children and people who were too weak to control their emotions. They were definitely not for warriors or strong individuals such as herself.

At least, that was what she had told herself for the last twelve years. Crying had only ever hurt her father, and so it was something she had given up on. It had never solved anything for her as it instead only succeeded in making her feel worthless and horrible.

Sniffling, Kaoru stopped to lean against a tree and she trembled and shivered as she wiped at her face with a sleeve. More and more tears were spilling from her lashes and she couldn't get them to stop. Some were for the aches and pains demanding she pay them attention all over her body such as the blood that was now congealing on her left hand. Most of them, she knew, were for the hurtful words spoken to her several minutes before. She was nothing but an inconvenience… a problem that wasn't worth the effort to keep around.

It was true that most of their conversations had been fights and quarrels, but somewhere in between those arguments Kaoru had decided that she liked the lord. He could be very kind when he wanted to be, and he didn't even mind that she trained. Which was more than she could say for most other people she knew. He stuck by his decisions, too. If he didn't like something he didn't change his mind just because someone else said that he should. Though this was annoying for her, she liked that he wasn't easily subject to the whims of others. Too many people she knew from the village were wishy-washy, and she had always hated the way they conformed to the majority so easily. Of course, the lord did not seem to like making any allowances, and that was not exactly a good trait, either. Her reasons for liking him didn't seem to be exactly ideal, she conceded, but she couldn't help her interest in him. It was as if a part of her instinctually knew that he was a good person underneath all of his posing, and she had been hoping to get the chance to find other traits about him that were respectable.

It didn't matter now. Whether her instinct was right or wrong he didn't want to let her find out. They had too many things they didn't agree on, and it was apparent they wouldn't ever get along well enough to share the ones they did have in common.

This heartache was the final culmination of that prickly feeling she had been ignoring for the past few weeks, she realized. It made her wish she had recognized it before. Maybe then she could have done some things differently and they wouldn't now be at such odds with each other. Perhaps she wouldn't be on her way back to the palace to pack for home.

Pressing her face into the bark of the tree, Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut to try and stall the two thick tears that inevitably escaped to drip down her chin. She was so conflicted. Home was the place she had been missing since she had arrived. The place she had ached to see since being pulled away from its familiarity. Now that she would be going, because there was no doubt in her mind that he would let her, she wanted to stay. Kaoru wanted to stay with her new friends and enjoy the companionship she had always been without. Her father was all that was there for her at home, and although she had enjoyed his company and would always love him… even he was continuing his life without her. Fathers and daughters were meant to part and live separate lives. She wanted to stay with her friends.

But she didn't want to stay somewhere she was unwanted and only a hassle. Tomorrow she would say her goodbyes and go back home where she belonged.

The tears were starting to slow by the time she began walking again, but the ache in her chest throbbed and twisted with each step as it reminded her that she wasn't wanted. Tripping over a branch hidden beneath the snow she caught herself with both hands and whimpered when her left one seared with agony as it submerged into the fiery cold. It was nearly too dark to see as there was only a soft glow from the rising moon to reflect off the snow's shiny surface. Feeling herself start to break down with despair as she wanted more than anything to just give up and lie there until she was found, she sputtered with fresh tears.

Flopping down on her side she curled her tortured hand into her chest and cradled it close to keep it from more harm. She never would have thought broken off nails would hurt so much. Absently stroking her thumb over an exposed collarbone, she unconsciously sought the chain of her necklace for solace in any shape or form. Nothing met her hunting touch, though, and with a frown she moved her hand further inside her kimono for more range. It quickly became obvious that she was no longer wearing the silver chain.

_I've lost it! But where?!_ With a sinking sensation in her gut she thought of the cliff, the fall, and the argument with Kenshin. There were too many instances when it could have come off. It was more than likely long gone by now, but… that necklace was the only thing she had ever treasured. She couldn't just leave it out in the snow, in the dark, for something else to find or break it. Gasping over her unsteady breathing she wiped at her face again and stood shakily to turn back.

There were many shadows dotting the forest by now and concealing much of her surroundings. The creature behind her, however, did not want to be hidden, it seemed, as it stood unabashedly in a beam of light to allow its shaggy body to be illuminated. Surprised, Kaoru involuntarily took a step back.

"You wouldn't be looking for something, now would you, _my lady_?" It was slightly shocking to hear it speak, as it seemed more beastlike than any of the other animal people she had met so far. A high pitched cackle of laughter rippled through the trees around her, hinting that there were more, and she nervously jumped forward this time. The one in the middle tilted his head to the side and a shot of light reflected off of a shiny pink piece of glass near its mouth.

"My necklace." Voice softened by tears, her words were barely a whisper, and the dog looking creature giggled himself which caused the others to follow along. In a moment of insight Kaoru wondered if they weren't the hyena animals she had heard about that like to laugh at their prey before they kill them.

"You shouldn't be so careless, _my lady_. Pretty baubles like these might attract the wrong crowd."

Swallowing over the anxiety that was raising the fine hairs on the back of her neck, Kaoru forced herself to walk towards him even though every instinct in her said to run. "I'll keep that in mind." Reaching out her uninjured hand hesitantly, she jerked again when he danced playfully out of her range. The shiny chain resting between his teeth swayed to and fro merrily.

"Ah, ah, ah… you shouldn't be so hasty. It's rude. I haven't finished talking yet."

Grinding her teeth her already raw emotions raged back into fire and she narrowed her eyes. "Forgive me. It has gotten late and I am anxious to be on my way. Please… continue."

They all laughed again and the leader, or what she was assuming was their leader, hopped around with his amusement. "Spunk. Yes, that was what we had heard the new lady had. Lots and lots of spunk. Enough to annoy that little noble brat." Kaoru's frown darkened as they openly insulted their lord. "We like annoying him. It is great, great fun."

"Good for you."

Their laughter abruptly stopped and the main hyena faced her with a snarl. "Good for us it definitely is since we now have his precious little lady in our company. Won't the spoiled little lord be so angry when he realizes she's gone missing?"

The nasty suspicion that had slowly been growing in her belly abruptly soured, and she cast her eyes around to try and measure the amount of enemies she was faced with. "What good do you think kidnapping me will do you? The lord and I aren't exactly on speaking terms anymore." There were at least ten or more that she could see, and that was about nine too many for her to handle safely. Especially with her hand the way it was.

"Who said anything about kidnapping, dear lady? We are going to kill and eat you."

"What?" Relaxing from her defensive stance in disbelief, Kaoru stared at the hyena in a daze.

"Oh yes. You see, we like living this way and you are a threat to us. Any and all threats must be eliminated."

"But… I've never done anything to you. I didn't even know anything about you until now."

"No, but you are a newcomer and newcomers are not allowed. They threaten the life of the curse. We like this curse. We want it to stay."

"What curse? What the hell are you talking about?"

"The curse that is keeping us alive and in these forms."

"But how could I break it? I don't even know anything about it."

"No one knows much, except for the lord. You are here because of the lord. He must think you can break the curse. We cannot let you." Circling around behind her as he spoke, the main hyena snipped at her heels to herd her into the center. "And so… goodbye, _my lady_."

Barking, yipping, and snarling met this announcement and their laughter intermingled as the others all showed their pleasure at the idea of killing her. For one wild moment she wondered if by eating her that meant they were cannibals. Had they been cannibals when they were still human? Standing directly in the center of the pool of light her breathing started to labor in her lungs as the leader slunk backwards and the ones hiding in the shadows skulked forward. Eerie globes of light shown briefly all around her before they stepped out of the darkness and she counted way more than the original ten she had thought. Their faces were lowered close to the snow so that they were looking up at her with menacing growls and shows of teeth. _How strange, to be saved from the cliff only to be eaten by a group of hyena._

A loud snarl announced the attack of the first, and Kaoru picked her timing just right to dodge and slam her elbow against the side of its jaw. It yelped and fell to the ground but she was already fending off another. In too short of a time she knew she would be overwhelmed.

Two very distinctive growls were suddenly heard over the top of the din and one of them was a large feline roar that caused many of them to pause. Then everything happened so fast she was unsure which direction her two chaperones had come from. Yahiko leapt straight through to the center of them and attacked the one closest to her before tumbling into the legs of others. Sano was overpowering two hyena at once with just his size alone and the noises that were coming from his throat were unlike anything she had ever heard before.

"Yahiko!" Worried for the young tiger she watched him sink his teeth into the neck of the one he was wrestling with while his back legs kicked into its exposed belly. Streaks of blood splattered onto the trodden snow and the hyena screamed in alarm, but before she could step any closer there was another jumping at her from the side.

Even though every part of her body resisted the idea, she ducked back to avoid the full brunt of its weight. Sharp claws dug into her shoulder as she misjudged the distance and with a gasp and then a grunt she spun and landed on her face. It was laughing again, a high cackle that frightened and warned all at once, and out of the corner of her eye she could see it had already gained its feet and was ready to strike. Too dazed and sore to move quickly enough, she clenched her eyes shut and waited for the bite of its jagged teeth.

The tiger cried out a second time in anger and Kaoru felt something slam into her side before rolling off. There were now two bodies jostling one another as they fought. Trying to keep away from the tussle Kaoru scooted hurriedly away, but kept her wide eyes on them as she had to keep dodging their flailing legs. Something was wrong this time, however, and Kaoru cried out when the hyena quickly dominated the battle by maiming the tiger and shredding his front paw. Frantic to save the boy, Kaoru dug at something sticking up from the snow, yanked out the same heavy branch that had tripped her before, and smashed it ruthlessly across the hyena's face to dislodge its grip from the tiger. Yapping shrilly, it scrambled up from where it fell and stumbled off to hide.

"Yahiko! Yahiko, are you okay?" Crouched protectively over him, Kaoru pushed her left hand under his jaw to demand his attention while her other hand still gripped the splintered wood defensively.

"I'm fine, Lady… give me a second… and I'll get the rest…" Pushing against the peak of his shoulder blades, Kaoru held him down with a shake of her head.

"Stubborn little boy. You're too hurt to be of any help now."

He growled at her in disagreement, but when he tried to stand a high cry of pain mewled from his mouth and he dropped back into the snow.

"No more kitty to protect you now, little lady." Taunting and hungry, the voice crept up behind her, and with a crush of snow Kaoru could hear it leap for her unprotected back. Twisting skillfully, she jabbed it in the side of the head with the splintered end of her branch and sneered as it screamed.

"I don't need anyone to protect me from you filth!" _Not exactly a lie, but not exactly the truth either. At least I've implanted a bit of doubt in their minds, though._ Straddling the young tiger to guard him from all sides, she held the stick in her good hand and let her left rest as a last resort. Too much use and it would be worthless with the way it was burning.

The slight pause her declaration made was enough for Sano to jump up beside them with his teeth bared threateningly. "Hurting the little miss will give you more than just me to answer to! Don't be stupid and call down **his **wrath upon you!" _Wherever the hell he is! What a perfect time to be sulking!_ Growling in frustration and anger, Sano eyed the rabble of hyena. There was no way just the two of them could hold them all off. The lord was being an idiot, sending them after her instead of coming himself. She hadn't slapped them, after all.

"That noble boy is a joke." The lead hyena came strutting back with the necklace still dangling from his mouth. "He's grown soft and weak over the centuries. He cares nothing for anyone but himself. He's not our master, nor is he yours, Sanosuke. Give up and we'll let you walk away."

"And Lady Kaoru?"

"She stays of course, and the little tiger. He looks like a good appetizer for our main course."

"Piss off! I'm not going anywhere without the little lady or the kid!"

"Don't be a fool. You're outnumbered."

"And you're outclassed. Come on, missy, we can take 'em."

Leaping to the side Sano barreled into the closest cluster to the right. Crouching low and setting her feet firmly, Kaoru refused to move and leave Yahiko without a guard. The leader took this as an invitation to jump at her before she had fully readied herself, and Kaoru could see straight down the back of his throat as he opened his mouth to latch on. Clenching her teeth, Kaoru waited for the attack with her weapon lowered to the ground and hoped she would not bust the pink bauble of her necklace when she struck him under the jaw.

A loud, surprised yelp squeezed from his throat when he was almost on top of her and the midair hyena jerked suddenly backwards. Flying through the air away from her, he crashed into the low hanging branches surrounding them until his journey was finally cut short by a large tree trunk. Grunting loudly, his body thumped onto the ground where it lay still.

"How dare you trash even think to touch her!"

The strength of his voice carried much power, cruelty, and frightening danger, and it pulled Kaoru's eyes away from the crumpled leader to look up at the lord's imposing back. Crimson wings were spread wide in intimidation, his muscles were tensed in preparation, and though she could not see his front she could hear the light hiss issuing between his teeth. The show of menace was more than enough for the hyena he was facing to prance uncertainly away.

"Don't be cowards." The leader was fighting to gain his feet and his voice was raspy but biting. "He doesn't even have his sword. What good is he without it?"

This seemed to be good enough for them, though Kaoru couldn't understand why, and their courage returned to bring them slowly closer until they were caging him in from all sides but his back. That was reserved for her, and with a crease of her brow she realized he was defending her in much the same way she was defending Yahiko.

Now all she had to worry about was behind her, and as she turned away from the lord to look for Sano her gaze caught sight of reflections from many more eyes coming towards them out of the woods. There were too many for all of them to handle, even with Kenshin there. Hopelessness dropped like rotten food into her stomach, but she ground her jaw against the drowning emotion and refused to let it take her. Crouching lower over the boy to shield him she prepared herself to be overcome. Yahiko sensed her trepidation immediately.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Shaking her head, she didn't answer.

"Come on! Is this the best you got?!" Sano was still going strong, but he couldn't see what she did. He didn't know how utterly useless their fight was becoming.

Suddenly there was something racing at him from behind. It was sprinting with such speed she felt for sure she wouldn't be able to warn him in time. Opening her mouth to scream, she had barely voiced her concern before the black panther was diving out of the shadows and tackling its prey.

Going long, it flattened the hyena next to the large mongrel instead and its mighty rumble of anger was low in its throat as it turned to crush the next. To the right something else had entered the fray. A large snake was twining itself around and around the mangy hyena in its grip with its long tongue flitting in and out of its mouth as it whispered words she could not completely understand. Then three large birds fell from the sky to swoop down and confuse the ranks and give openings to their companions as they crept up from behind.

Then she found someone she recognized. A large wolf and his followers were diving into the multitude of dog-like scavengers that the lord was taking on single-handedly. Now completely outmaneuvered, it didn't take long for the reinforcements to rout out the hyena and send many of them tripping back into the woods while the others were subjugated on the spot. For a moment she could not understand the stabbing feeling of panic in her mind as she watched, because they had clearly won and she was now safe, but as the lord finally stepped through the masses and slammed one talon-toed foot down on top of the leader's head, she recognized her own misgivings for what they were.

"Wait!" Everyone stopped in surprise and gave her a quick glance. The lord only did not fully meet her gaze, but his ear did tilt in her direction to show she had his attention. "Don't kill them." The silence was suddenly very deafening and then the snake spoke what they were all thinking.

"And why ssshould we not, milady? They have taken great pleasssure in tormenting many othersss besidesss just you."

"Well, because… they're still people, too. Just like you and me."

"They gave up their humanity a long time ago, mistress." One of the birds landed with a click on a branch behind the snake, and now that she could see him well she realized he was a great-horned owl.

"But they deserve to learn from their mistakes. They should be punished, yes, but… not killed."

"Lady Kaoru, they have had more than eight centuries to learn from their mistakes. I will not tolerate…" Saitou cut off as one red-scaled hand from the lord lifted for silence and his ears pinned back on a frown.

"Do as the lady says. Let them go." Reluctantly the hyena were released and without hesitation they disappeared into the trees. The one under the lord's foot however was saved for last, and Kenshin placed more weight on the hyena's jaw as he leaned forward just to listen to him whimper as he struggled.

"With all do respect, my lord. This scum has done more than enough to earn worse than a simple death." Watching them go with hatred in his eyes, it was the raven that spoke and Kaoru briefly recognized him as the one Misao called Aoshi.

"Do you question my decision?"

"…No, my lord." From the tone of his voice, though, Kaoru could tell that he did.

Ignoring the raven in favor of the enemy, Kenshin bent closer to the lead hyena and whispered low to make sure he was not heard by anyone else. "You will be dealt with according to your crime, Takeda." Taking back the necklace still clutched in his mouth, Kenshin let him up with a kick and then turned a look on Saitou. For a moment the city guard's lead wolf did nothing but glare back before he finally nodded and sat down to wait.

Meanwhile, Kaoru was now focused on the tiger, since it seemed the lord was going to grant her this one last request. Grimacing at the thought, she bent to examine Yahiko's paw and winced sympathetically at all the blood and torn tissue. Untangling herself quickly from her large haori, she ripped at the sleeve of her training kimono and yanked it off to leave one whole arm bare. Shredding the material into strips, she hurriedly wrapped the bleeding appendage and pulled it tight to stall the blood flow. He growled at her a couple of times, but she rubbed his head and smiled when she was finished.

"Thank you very much, Yahiko-kun. You saved my life. I am in your debt now."

"It was nothing." Teeth clenched together over his pain, he was trying to act all tough and indifferent, but Kaoru couldn't help but ruffle his fur again.

"Saving a life is always something." Pulling her haori back over her shoulders to retain what warmth she still had, she looked up quickly when something flashed next to her face. It was the necklace and one clawed hand was holding it out to her in offering. As she stared at its bright pink glass sparkling in the moonlight she blinked and suddenly recalled another moment in time when it had been offered to her in such a way. Another clawed hand had given it to her, or perhaps… it was the same one.

"_It's so pretty! Thank you, Kenshin!" Raising both hands to lift it from his one she held it up as high as she could and smiled the world at the figure towering over her._

"_I'm glad you are pleased, little one." Once again he smiled in that way that suggested he had not smiled in a very long time._

"The chain was broken." Snapping herself from her trance, Kaoru gasped in a breath and looked up the arm at Kenshin's face. He was looking away. "I will find a replacement for you… before you go."

Something thick plopped onto the snow below before she could find an appropriate reply, and her attention shifted between the large splatter of blood on the ground below and the arm that was stretched outward towards her. "You're hurt."

Dropping the necklace into her palm, he stepped away. "It's nothing. Look after young Yahiko. He did very well."

The large, leathery wings at his back abruptly snapped open before she could argue, and his amber eyes swept from the raven to the wolf. Jerking his head to the north, he indicated they were to follow him. "Make sure the lady is escorted safely back to the palace." One buffeting wing beat took him air born, and then he was disappearing over the trees.

"Did you hear that? Lord Kenshin said I did well!" Excitement peppered the young tiger's voice, and it was one of those moments when Kaoru could see the child that was still in him. "I did well, Lady Kaoru! That's what he said!"

"So you did. Isn't that what _I_ was saying a few minutes ago?" Unabashed, Yahiko kept on and it brought a smile to her lips. "Well come on, my little hero. Let's get you back to the palace. Perhaps Tae-san will fix you a victory plate for celebration."

"Hey! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not little!"

"Yeah, yeah. Littler than me, Yahiko-_chan_."

X

"I was almost afraid you had grown even softer than I had thought, my lord." Pacing around the bodies of the dead hyena, Saitou sniffed the air and searched for any fortunate, or unfortunate, survivors.

"Kaoru-dono is very young and innocent. This type of punishment is not suited for her eyes." Kenshin's arms were crossed as he waited for their report, and he ignored the blood dripping off his elbow as well as the biting pain above his knee.

"Hmph. Though she didn't have a problem beating a couple of them senseless it seems."

"Self-defense is not the same as the brutal combat we are used to."

"…No, I suppose you are right."

Spiraling in from above, Aoshi alighted on a branch next to Kenshin's shoulder. "Okina-san and the others have located the stragglers. They are taking care of them now."

"Good work, Okashira."

"Thank you, my lord."

"Dispose of the bodies and make sure you do not disturb the surrounding wildlife. I don't want any wild predators tracking their way back to us." Surprised by this sudden forethought and concern, Saitou tilted his head to the side, but nodded. "You are dismissed."

X

Kaoru sat back with a sigh as she finished bandaging Yahiko's forepaw under Megumi's attentive guidance. "There you are, Yahiko-kun. You'll be as good as new in a few weeks."

"I'm so glad." Voice soft and sweet with worry, Tsubame leaned into Kaoru's leg and closed her eyes.

"He was a very brave young man, Tsubame-san. You should be proud." Smiling at the confliction that contorted Yahiko's face at being called young and brave in the same sentence, she patted him on the head and then stretched. Her entire left arm from fingertip to elbow was wrapped in soft linen and the throbbing pain of her fingernails was now only a dull ache after a dose of Megumi's painkilling tonic. It felt a little strange and restrictive, but there was no help for it. The nail from her longest finger was completely gone and there was only tender, torn flesh left behind. The rest of her arm didn't look much better.

There were a few other minor scrapes on her body from the fall, and then the gash in her shoulder from one of the hyena attacks, but nothing, she had been assured, that would not heal safely. She would need to change the bandages and keep them clean regularly, but other than that there was nothing to worry about. Lips jerking downward as she remembered she wouldn't be there regularly to do just that, she cleaned up the mess they had made.

"You're not really going to leave, are you Lady Kaoru?"

Looking up at Yahiko's questioning face, she bit her lip as Megumi and Tsubame turned to her with a gasp. Sano's tail swished as he lay in the corner, and one eye opened to watch.

"I think it would probably be best, Yahiko-kun. You heard what… was said." Frowning, she returned her attention to the supplies.

"But… the lord was just angry. Everybody says stuff they don't mean when they're angry."

"No, Yahiko-kun. There was nothing untrue about his words." _I am an inconvenience. Just look at all of the trouble I've caused today alone. I've gotten myself hurt, Yahiko hurt, Kenshin hurt, and probably others as well. I have no place here, and… I know my own worth. The effort my presence has torn from everyone is unfair._ "And besides, he's angry all the time because of me. If I go, then maybe he won't be angry anymore."

_I doubt that, missy. He'll probably be angrier than before… and not even know why._ Snorting softly in his corner, Sano let his eye fall shut. It had taken him long enough, but he could now see what Misao had seen about the young master and it was the same frustration and confusion that Sano himself felt towards the fox. Their lord was attracted to this little woman and he didn't know the first thing he needed to do about it.

"Are you leaving in the morning, then?" Kaoru shot her gaze across the room to Sano.

Sighing, she nodded. "Yes."

Without opening his eyes, Sano adjusted his position and flipped an ear. "The young master was hurt, too."

"I… I saw." Fidgeting, Kaoru played with the sleeve of her borrowed haori. She would have to leave it behind, too.

Popping open an eye he stared pointedly at the fox while Kaoru was busy avoiding everyone's gaze. "I _doubt_ he's taken care of his injuries."

Fox eyes glinting, Megumi smiled slyly back and hopped up with a wink that made Sano grin smugly. It was times like these when he knew him and the vixen were perfect for each other.

"You are certainly right, Sano. Surprisingly." The smile on his face disappeared and she chuckled to herself at the small victory. "I should be attending to him. Would you mind helping me before you leave, dear? It'll be easier with a real set of hands."

"Uh…" Feeling as if she had been roped into the situation, Kaoru stuttered. "I mean… I doubt he would be very happy with me…"

"Oh he can surely put up with your presence long enough to bandage a couple of small wounds. It won't kill him."

Lips trembling as Megumi led the way out, Kaoru clutched the small pocket inside her kimono that her necklace now lay in. _I'm not worried about him… I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it._

X

A/N: lol So, I hope that this is a better explanation for Kaoru's feelings. At least a little, anyway. I know that I didn't give much reason or show many instances where they were actually getting along, but as to why that was, well, you'll see that in the next chapter. I did want to focus on how tense their relationship was, and truthfully, it's not really love yet, either, that Kaoru feels, but a subconscious knowledge that he might be someone she could get along with. Possibly because she has known him before and knows that he is a good person. Of course, she doesn't remember that… although it seems she is recalling a certain moment in this chapter. I won't say anymore, because I have a bad tendency to give things away that I shouldn't. Hope to see you in the next… that is already done, by the way and waiting… Please leave a review. I appreciate them.


	13. A Moment of Humility

Here it is! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: No rurouni for me.

**Chapter 13: A Moment of Humility**

"_You have been nothing but an inconvenience ever since you came!"_

"_It's so pretty! Thank you, Kenshin!"_

"_Not even worth the effort!"_

"_The chain was broken. I will find a replacement for you… before you leave."_

Trembling on the edge of uncertainty, Kaoru followed behind Megumi's sleek, red form knowing somewhere in the depths of her heart that nothing good could come from another confrontation. Not so soon. Not when everything was still so raw. Scratch that, not ever again.

It didn't even matter that she was now trying to come to terms with the idea that she could have possibly known Kenshin when she was four. Even stranger still that he might have been the one to give her the necklace to begin with and not her mother like she had been told. If it were true, though, someone would have surely said something to her. Kenshin himself had never let on and none of the servants spoke to her as if they had met before. Her own father had insisted that it was her mother that had gifted the necklace to her and that it had been something they had found and purchased from a vendor at the market. It had been cheap and something to please a child.

"_I'm glad you are pleased, little one."_

Shaking her head, Kaoru chased the voice from her mind. It had been well over two months now since she had taken up residence at the palace. Surely in that space of time she would have remembered something before this. Something that would remind her of anything that might have happened back when she was four. Anyway, four was an incredibly young age. There weren't many people she knew that could remember that far back. What if these memories were only a figment of her imagination? What if, out of her own desperation, she was dreaming up scenarios from her past to soften the blow of leaving? What if it was just some hopeless scheme to try and talk her way into getting to stay? She had no other facts to solidify its truth. Just a few words in the cadence of his voice that might have been remnants of a dream.

_I will not make a fool of myself by bringing up something I have no real proof is true or not. And I will definitely not make it seem as if I am so needy and weak that I have to beg not to be thrown out after what he said and my own reply to it. Even if it was the truth he is obviously tired of me being here now, and nothing from the past is going to change that. Nothing will change his opinion of my worth._

Kenshin did not want her there. At least, not really. Whatever he had expected to obtain from her presence he was obviously not getting. Now that this was plain to him it was only natural that he would not wish to deal with her any longer. Kaoru was going to have to leave or remain a burden and unhappy forever.

Not that she really wanted to stay after the jerk had been so completely rude.

Megumi slipped through the outer wooden doors of the master's pavilion and led them both into the inner hallway of his quarters. A lone candle burned within the central room and illuminated the rice paper screens and the outline of a single, seated figure. The air was so still Kaoru wondered for a moment if he wasn't asleep.

Trotting up to the closed shoji, Megumi either pretended ignorance of the atmosphere or purposely ignored it. "My lord, I was informed that you were injured. May I come in to tend to the wounds?"

The silence became even more oppressive as it stretched until the moment seemed thin and worn until… "No. There is no point." There was a bleak note in his voice that sounded rather hopeless to Kaoru.

"But my lord, if you are bleeding…"

"It is a pointless gesture. I cannot die from it." Now the voice was resigned as he had to explain something that he thought should be obvious.

"Then the pain, at least, must be dealt with."

"This pain is nothing!" Losing his patience, his voice hissed irritably and Kaoru pursed her lips as she remembered why he was so irritating.

_Stubborn jackass._

Reaching forward as her own patience snapped, Kaoru yanked open the door and met the glare he directed their way with a challenge of her own. "If you don't mind I would greatly appreciate you not bleeding all over the newly cleaned floors." Glancing down at the dots of blood dripping from his forearm onto the tatami mats, her voice dropped into sarcasm. "Any more than you already have."

He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment as his features twitched and jerked, but he ultimately looked away as he pulled his sprawled legs up closer to him. "Do as you wish."

"Thank you, I will."

The muscles in his left arm flexed and with the slightest tilt of his neck long hair slid over his shoulder to completely curtain his face from her sight. Effectively cut off Kaoru accepted the sharp ache it blossomed in her chest and instead focused on what she had come to do. Settling herself on the floor next to him she positioned the bowl and jug of clean water she had brought between them before unhooking the basket resting at her elbow. As before, she would carry out Megumi's orders while the fox sat next to her and examined the damage.

"I never know how to deal with these scales of yours, my lord. Will it heal better or worse if we remove the broken ones?"

As he thought it over, Kaoru began unpacking everything she thought she might need and organizing it on the floor next to her. The soft noises she made were too loud in the silence. "Better… I think."

"Alright. Would you like a tonic to relieve the pain before we start?"

"No."

"Yes." Feeling pushy and sensitive Kaoru dug into the basket for Megumi's bottles of tonic. Finding one already prepared from earlier she shoved it at him demandingly. A small glare peeked at her from his golden irises but her glower quickly overpowered it. "Masochist."

Trying to hide her amusement Megumi ducked her head in the pretense of scratching her nose.

"Fine." Knocking the tonic back in one quick shot, he grimaced and handed the vial back to her.

"Really. Idiot." Mumbling, Kaoru shrugged out of her haori and tossed it to the side so it wouldn't be in the way then reached for his arm. Apparently unwilling to fight with her anymore he lifted it for her without so much as a huff. It was a little hard to tell what was really broken what with his skin being just as red as his blood, but the scales, she found, helped her locate the wound. It was a deep and jagged rake of what looked like teeth marks as if the hyena that had given it to him had latched on and then been thrown off to dislodge him. A ragged trail of broken and pointed scales lined all sides of the puncture sites and all in all it looked to be more painful than he had been letting on.

"Lady Kaoru, there should be some long tweezers in the basket. Why don't we go ahead and remove the scales now. It will give us a better view of the injury and I want to make sure there isn't anything stuck in the tissue that shouldn't be there."

Nodding, Kaoru located the tool specified and a smaller bowl to drop the collected scales into. Holding his arm over the larger bowl, she ran some of the water from the jug over the to wash away most of the blood. Hesitating for only a second as she tried to settle her stomach, she swallowed and then set to work.

It helped that he didn't so much as wince each time she had to yank on a scale to get to it let go. His hand was fisted, tensing the area of concern, but that only aided in keeping his arm steady when she did have to be a little more forceful.

"Good, it looks like we won't have to do much more than clean and bandage it. They're not deep or wide enough to need stitches, thankfully."

_Thankfully. Since I can't sew._ Now that would have been a nightmare.

Relaxing into the routine Megumi set, Kaoru let out a shaky sigh. Everything was going smoothly. The confrontation Koaru had expected didn't seem likely to happen what with the way he was being so apathetic. _Of course, I'm not worth the effort, so…_ The injury was nearly taken care of so she wouldn't have to go home with a guilty conscience. The only thing that was bothering her now, besides her nails and the annoyingly insistent ache behind her ribs that reminded her she was unwanted, was that she wouldn't be getting a bath until she reached home the next day. It was too late to take one that evening and she wanted to leave early in the morning so she would arrive at the house before lunch. Maybe her dad would make his specialty in welcome.

It was halfway through the bandaging when the sensation of relief that comes with escaping punishment or glimpsing one's destination after a long journey was yanked away. Of course it had to be that stupid mutt that brought about her demise.

"Excuse me, my lord." Poking his nose in through the still opened shoji Sano ducked his head deferentially towards his seated master. "The fox is needed for an immediate treatment. One of Saitou's patrollers was bit by a wild snake. We're not sure if it was poisonous."

Waving his hand in dismissal Kenshin freed her to go. Before Kaoru could even question if she needed to go, too, Megumi was running her through what else the lord required.

"Go ahead and finish that up and then bandage those scrapes on his stomach." Taken aback, as she hadn't even looked to see if he was injured elsewhere, Kaoru darted a glance at his abdomen. "There should be some salve in the basket. Not that one. The cream colored jar. Clean them up and then smear that on before you wrap it. It shouldn't take you too long."

"Do you want me to come find you when I'm done?"

"No. I can get Tae or someone else to help me if I need to. If it is poisonous I won't be able to wait for you. It won't kill him, but he'll have an awful time healing. Go ahead and take your time. Rushing usually makes for sloppy work." With a flick of her tail the fox and the mutt were gone and the shoji was sliding shut after them.

Buffer successfully erased, the easy atmosphere tightened and everything wrong that had happened between them seemed to hang in the air. Their traded words echoed in her ears, his piercing annoyance stabbed through her chest, and the palm of her hand stung from her slap. _Just get this done and leave. It's the least you can do for him, anyway, for saving you._

Tying off the end of the swathe, her eyes strayed to his stomach and the abrasions that were burned into his skin. The flesh there was softer without the protective covering of his hard scales, and it had suffered the consequences of his selfless act to save her from her own folly. Touching the linen wrapped fingers of her left hand to his side, she jerked when this time he did wince. His hair twitched, his throat rumbled on a growl of warning, and she shoved aside all emotions of insecurity to brazenly make demands.

"Well sit up straight. I can't get a good look with you slouching."

Sullenly he did as she commanded and curled one leg up under the other for balance. As he shifted the arm that was away from her she thought she saw something gleam in his fisted claws. Whatever it was he was holding onto it as if it alone would save him from everything.

Careful and feeling just slightly improper bending so close to his lower abdomen, she cleaned the rashes and scuff marks on his exposed skin. Unfortunately, they disappeared underneath the waistband of his hakama and though she wanted to make sure they were fully taken care of she was not going to ask him to strip. _Maybe they only go a little ways? Perhaps from the displacement of material when we slipped over the edge?_ Biting her lip she tentatively hooked a finger under the top seam of the hakama tie and inched it downward to see.

"Do you want my pants off as well?" Scoffing, he shifted uncomfortably to dislodge her touch and she sat back indignantly. "Just leave the salve and bandages. I'll manage myself."

"Well you don't have to be so crabby about it." Sitting the little cream jar down with more force than was necessary she glared and turned to grab the roll of bandages for him next. Eyes sliding over the leg he had outstretched she relaxed in disbelief as she caught sight of the smear of blood under his knee on the floor. "Oh for crying out loud! What is that?" Snagging the cloth of his hakama before he could draw away, she fingered the blood and chew holes that were hidden by its dark color and pleated texture. "Maybe I _should _strip you down just to make sure you aren't conveniently forgetting anything else I need to see!"

The muscles in his jaw tightened, but his eyes were lowered away from her and he looked like a scolded child. Rolling her eyes on a sigh she wondered what it was about the two of them that they couldn't just talk civilly to each other. Did it always have to be so difficult? Did they always have to resort to yelling? _I suppose that's why we've ended up the way we have._

Irritated with everything, and angry that she was once again fighting back the depressive knowledge of his opinion, she yanked on the hem of his pants to bare his leg. Halfway through the motion she realized just how inappropriate her actions actually were, but she was already knee deep in the water and she wasn't about to turn back now. _I just __**hope**__ he's wearing a loin cloth._

Dropping the bunched material around his thigh, she sighed again at the sight of bite marks that were remarkably similar to the ones in his arm. Of course, since the thickness of his hakama had shielded the scaled flesh above his knee they weren't as deep. _Easy enough, but I'll have to pull more scales. Aah! It gives me sympathy pains just thinking about it!_

Kenshin tried his best to ignore the ripping pain tearing up his thigh as she set to work pulling each small, distorted scale like one would a tick. After enduring such treatment on his arm what did the woman expect, for him to jump right in and tell her about his leg so she could mangle it next? He knew it wasn't fair to blame her, as he himself could have lied and said nothing of the trouble his wounds would have healing with their broken shells getting in the way, and the physician's medicine was working, but it stung like needles. He'd almost rather go to battle.

Focusing his eyes on something to distract him, he lifted one of the curled finger of his left hand and revealed the new silver chain he had unearthed from his treasury. It was better crafted and more expensive than the one he had given to her as a child to hang the glass petal from. Of course, because she had been a child he had been thinking more of durability than appearance and worth. It rankled at his pride that some nobody merchant had inspected the piece of jewelry and pronounced its worth to be inconsequential. This time, since she was older and took more pride in her possessions, he had found her the best linked chain he owned.

Not that such a silly thing was going to convince her to stay.

Already she had proven she could not be won by material things, and it was almost laughable now that he was finally beginning to understand the reasons for their aggressive clashes.

"_A woman's heart is more sensitive than ours, little brother. You have to be careful what you say or you will hurt her feelings."_

At the time Shinta had been talking to him about a confrontation he had gotten into between himself and his mother. Of course his mother was not the type of woman to get angry or yell, but he had hurt her feelings all the same and it was the sad tilt of her lilac eyes that spoke of it. Kinuko had reacted with silence and the heartbreaking sadness of a mother just rejected by her child. Kaoru was not the same type of woman his mother had been, though, and so did not react in the same way. Perhaps this was the reason he had thought nothing of his words affecting her as they had Kinuko. Kaoru yelled and got angry and confronted him in a way most men would not. Today, however, he had seen her tears, and just as her hand had slapped him in the face so too had the realization of why.

Kaoru had a strong personality, and even if she was a woman she did not like to show those tears. So she got mad instead. She was still a woman and she was still sensitive, she just did not like it. Since he had seen nothing else from her for two straight months, though, his impression of her had stuck firmly on the belief that she cared little for what he did, said, or felt. Having set his expectations on a young girl he had known for only one day the change in her attitude had disappointed him. It was only now that he was starting to see that when she had been a child of four he himself had treated her like an adult would a child: with care; with patience; with indulgence. Now that she was an adult he didn't know how to act around her at all. He had wanted to pamper her like he had the child. She wanted to take care of her own and even showed scorn towards his noble upbringing.

Where in the middle of all their fights, in all the mess he had gained enough power to hurt her… he didn't know. If she didn't care for him, if she didn't care what he thought, she wouldn't have cried. But she had. Kaoru had run off into a foreign, dark forest, unprotected, uncaring of the blood dripping from her hand or the pain that was causing her to limp, _crying_. It was as he had watched her, struggling to run away from him and hide her weakness, that he had realized the truth of what his brother had been trying to explain to him. With all the pain that she had been in physically it had all been nothing in the face of the pain he had given to her because of a few traded words. A few words he had spoken in anger and ignorance. Words that he had meant to be hurtful.

But now what? What did he do now that he had realized his own mistake in thinking she was not sensitive to his bitter thoughts? Shinta had warned him against hurting a woman's feelings, but he had already gone past that point. Kinuko was his mother. As her child he had gotten away with many things, including forestalling an actually apology because of her loving, maternal heart. An apology was needed, but…with her own return words she had given him pain as well doubt. Why would she wish to stay when it was obvious he was the last man in this land she should entrust her sensitive, woman heart to?

It would be best if he just let her go. She had been right. There was no place for her there. No place for a young, human, mortal woman among century old beings trapped in animal form, nor with their master who's appearance now mocked the dragon style of his swordsmanship. He should just hold his tongue and let her go.

"There you go. All done." For a moment she sounded cheerful, as if pleased with her work… or perhaps pleased with the opportunity to tend to him. The familiar bitterness he was used to returned and his mouth twisted at such a thought. No one would be pleased to attend to him. "Did I pull the bandage too tight?" Glancing up quickly he realized that she had mistook his grimace as one of a different kind of pain. Shaking his head quickly he reassured her that it wasn't.

"No, Kaoru-dono. The fit is fine."

"Okay." Reaching for his pant leg again she pulled it back down over his knee and he shifted, once more uncomfortable. It was slightly unnerving how easy it was for the woman to pull at his clothing without any appearance of embarrassment.

"I… I suppose it would be rude not to say thank you." This time when he looked at her she was the one avoiding his gaze. "You saved my life twice today." Between one blink and the next he thought he saw her bottom lip tremble. "I'm sorry I inconvenienced you." That old, buried pain inside his chest twisted. "But I shall be out of your hair in the morning." The supplies were all replaced as she spoke, and she was now collecting them to leave.

Fisting his left hand to force the metal of the links to bite into his palm he sat up when she moved and watched her jump and freeze. "Here." Shoving the fist at her, his muscles convulsed before relaxing to expose the new chain and his eyes focused steadily on her face. "The replacement I promised you." Her bottom lip was definitely quivering now, and when she reached to take it her hand was shaking.

There were scuff marks on the pads of his fingers from where he had held onto the ledge. Their rough texture scraped across her skin when she collected the chain, and his claws were an added gentle, tickling brush over the hollow of her palm. She had to get out of there. If she didn't she was going to cry again and she couldn't let him see that a second time.

Stuffing the silver necklace into the pocket holding her other Kaoru nodded her head as the only sign of acceptance she could muster and stood with the basket, bowl, and jug. Briefly she cast a longing look at the haori she had tossed to the floor, but it wasn't hers and she couldn't take it with her.

The action was not lost on Kenshin, either, and when she turned to leave without it he reached and pulled its bundled weight into his lap. It was still warm. This was what sadness was like, he thought in wonder and pain. An emotion that he had had never been allowed to truly experience before in his life, brought into being by this young lady with her back to him. Sadness for the pavilion that would be empty by tomorrow evening, the meals he would once again take alone, and the scent of jasmine that would eventually fade from the cloth of his haori.

She was leaving, but he had to let her go.

The shoji was open and once it was closed so would her decision to leave be final.

Crushing the haori in both hands he struggled to stop the pain that his sadness was churning in his stomach. It demanded he do something more than just sit there and he knew he shouldn't follow its urging.

Both of her feet were firm on the wooden floor of the enclosed hallway. With one small flick of her arm, the same arm that was now bare from the linen wrapping at her elbow to the tear of her kimono at the shoulder, and the distance that stood between them would stay there forever.

"Don't go."

He wasn't strong enough to fight it. The demand had won.

"I don't want you to go." It was so incredibly hard to keep his voice steady or to keep his breathing steady. Afraid of what his face might show he let the concealing bangs he had grown long to hide his appearance shield him from the world. Especially from her denial, for that was all she was sure to give. "I didn't mean what I said, and… I'm… I'm sorry I made you cry. Just please don't go."

The tense span of her back was still visible and framed by the open shoji so she had not left. Not yet, anyway. Not until she had heard every last pitiful, imploring word wrung from his lips by her threat of departure. Now she would leave and he would know why his father had allowed nothing so soft-hearted as longing to ever taint his thoughts.

"Okay." Keeping her back to him to hide her happy and relieved expression, she bit her lip on a shaky smile. "But only because you asked so nicely." Trying to be playful, her words and laughter were slightly breathy in the quiet.

_Thank you._ Relief flooded his mind, just as refreshing and vulnerable as a child in desperate need of a nap. One battle had been won in favor of his eldest brother, defeating the ethics of his father with the help of her forgiving heart. She would stay and he would get the chance to try and understand why he wanted her there so badly.

"And I'm sorry too… for hitting you."

More than aware he had deserved it anyway, Kenshin bowed his head in acknowledgement. "I accept your apology."

Standing to his feet as she spoke a more sure and steady goodnight, he stepped the few paces to the door and dropped the haori he still held over her shoulders. "Please keep this, Kaoru-dono. It is too cold to go without one." Hurriedly she nodded as her head lowered nervously at his sudden proximity. "I shall see you in the morning then. Goodnight… my lady."

The shoji slid softly shut between them but it no longer spelled out a finality neither could live with. Releasing a nervous breath, golden eyes closed and he fisted a hand into the hair around his scalp and smiled.

X

A/N: Yeah, it was short, but I hope you liked it anyway. I don't really have much to say… except Shinta's influence keeps getting bigger and bigger. Somebody had mentioned something about how sad it was that Sano and Kenshin weren't friends, and I must agree, but I couldn't think of anyway around their situation to make them friends. Not with Kenshin's back story and Sano being a servant. There are too many reasons I have not to make them be friends. Maybe after this is all said and done Kenshin might be friends with most of them because of Kaoru's influence, but… yeah. So, I think, with all this in mind, Shinta was the only one close enough to Kenshin to be of any help to him in this kind of situation… even if he isn't around. Anyway, I kind of liked it. Shinta is fast becoming a favorite character of mine. Next chapter, we get to progress past their disagreeable stage and explore a new, budding relationship. Perhaps even recall some past events. Yay. Please leave a review, and see you later.


	14. Dreaming of Reality

Sorry it's later than others, but it's longer too. Glad everyone was well pleased with their make-up, and now for the day after. Always so awkward.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the fingers typing.

**Chapter 14: Dreaming of Reality**

Cold air skated across Kaoru's tabi covered feet, straight up her pant legs, and pulled a shiver from every one of her already tensed muscles. Crossing her arms over her chest and holding the large haori even tighter around her middle Kaoru sought the warmth she had fostered while in bed. Getting up in the winter time was always the hardest part of the day, and she thought longingly of the thick blanket she had been cuddled underneath not minutes before. However, it was time for breakfast and her stomach was demanding attention.

Sliding one hand down to press into her stomach when it growled almost angrily at her, she ground her teeth and grumbled irritably back. After everything that had happened the day before she'd missed supper, and she didn't want to miss breakfast or she was going to start feeling sick from lack of food. Which did not explain why she was now standing outside of the dining room door instead of sitting inside where it was warm.

Rolling her eyes she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. If she was going to be honest with herself hunger wasn't the only thing knotting her belly this morning. Kaoru was nervous, too; and embarrassed, and edgy, and expectant. Last night something had happened she never would have thought possible in a million years, let alone a short one thousand. The high and mighty master of the palace had apologized _and_ showed humility by asking her, rather nicely she might add, not to leave. He wanted her to stay.

What would happen now, she wondered. Were they going to get along better? She wasn't going to be so naïve as to think they wouldn't still fight now and again, but she was hoping that the tension that had been present between them the last few days would be gone. It might just be enough for them to explore the tentative friendship they were hovering on the edge of. To be at such ease with him was something she looked forward to, and after his own words last night she was hoping he too wanted the same thing. After all, he hadn't meant what he had said to her at the cliff, and…

Looking down she plucked at the new silver chain holding her glowing pink bauble. This chain was shorter than the last so it no longer lay in hiding beneath her breast bindings, but it looked to her untrained eye to be even more beautiful. Now that it was no longer concealed the silver of the links seemed to sparkle in the light. The glass petal also put off a soft glow, one that was just a bit stronger than she thought it had been originally. Perhaps it too was happy with the new chain and circumstances, or perhaps she had never noticed it before because it was always kept from view by her clothing.

The new necklace did bring up many questions and theories to her mind. One was the idea that he might have chosen this shorter chain just so it could be displayed; just so he could see it. Only her second day there had proven his interest in it, and the frown that was so natural on his face had shown displeasure that she would not wear it openly. There were other thoughts she had that branched from these, but she was trying to process one thing at a time and she didn't want to think on it too much at the moment.

It would make her think of things like the way he had spoken his parting the night before. The way he had almost caressed the words that had followed it. _"Goodnight… my lady." _As if, for that one moment, he had wished she really was _his_ lady.

_Or maybe you're delusional from lack of food and are hearing things. Idiot._

Biting her lip to stall her nerves she shivered again and decided it would be best if she just went inside. She was going to either catch a cold or pass out from hunger if she didn't do something soon.

The door slid open soundlessly and the first thing her eyes landed on was him. Back straight, chin high, his wings were pulled in close to his back and his head was turned in her direction. Curiously his golden eyes searched her face as if looking for something suspicious about her. As if he knew she had been standing outside for the last ten minutes trying to talk herself into coming in.

"Good-morning, my lady."

_Ok, there it was again._ Smiling nervously, she stuttered a reply. "G-good-morning."

There was a long pause as Kaoru stood immobile in the doorway. "Perhaps you should close the door and come sit down? It's freezing outside."

"Oh, right." Stepping completely over the threshold she slid the shoji shut behind her and headed for her own cushion at the table. _This is a little weird. He's never talked to me this civilly before. It's kinda nice… and its kinda a little more grating than before. Argh… no, that's just embarrassment for being such an idiot and gawking at him._

Struggling against the silence that was closing in on them Kenshin stumbled his way into a conversation. "I hope you slept well?"

Starting to feel more and more surreal Kaoru tried to answer without the squeak that was itching the back of her throat. _Alright, now this is really, really strange. Did he hit his head when we fell?_ "Uh, yes, yes of course. Did you?" Blue eyes dropped to the bandages wrapped around his middle and she was happy to see they were expertly taken care of. It made her wonder how often he had been forced to wrap his own wounds. "You weren't in a lot of pain, were you?"

The worry in her eyes overrode the thick amount of puzzlement in her voice and it brought that foreign smile back to his lips as he looked down at the table. "The pain is much less now that the wounds have been taken care of."

"I'm glad. I… didn't want you to have to suffer because of my own stupidity."

"Part of last night's situation was my fault, as well." A dark frown pulled at his features and she was surprised by how different the look was compared to any of the frowns he had shown towards her. It was colder and much more dangerous. Perhaps he had never truly disliked her at all. "That rabble of troublemakers should have been dealt with a long time ago before they ever had the chance to hurt you or anyone else."

"But… you didn't… I mean, they weren't punished cruelly… were they? I'm sure this… situation has been hard on everyone." Not quite sure how much she needed to keep to herself and how much she could reveal about what she knew, Kaoru bit her lip when he gave her a considering look. The lord, however, decided not to comment on how informed she was or was not.

"Their - punishment - was well fitting to their crime. You can be sure of that, my lady." Looking her over as she accepted him at his word Kenshin let out a slow breath. Did she even realized how nervous he was? He hoped not. That she was still a bit unsure of their interactions after last night was evident and to be expected. After deciding that more care needed to be taken in how he spoke with her and reacted he had conjured up the only role model he could think of. Since he'd shadowed his eldest brother around for nearly seventeen years it wasn't that hard to mimic his cordiality, either. It felt a little strange on his tongue, though, and Kaoru had noticed that he was sure.

A sudden and amused smile pulled at her mouth and she laughed softly at a passing thought. Before he had the chance to wonder what had pleased her, or feel strangely resentful over its origin, she was dropping her chin on her intertwined fingers and meeting his gaze. "Yahiko-kun was absolutely thrilled with your compliment last night. I'm glad you took the time to praise him. He has a good, strong spirit and a kind heart. He would make a great student for the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu."

Momentarily puzzled Kenshin tried to remember just who she was speaking of. _The boy._ Nodding slightly to himself Kenshin could clearly picture the scrawny ten year old his mother had recommended to his father. At such an age he would have been used for running errands and relaying quick orders to the kitchens and stable hands. Izo had ignored him, as he had several others at hand to fulfill such duties, and Kenshin himself had been given the boy. The poor kid had been ignored by him, too.

Kaoru was right about his spirit, though. Kenshin had witnessed it first-hand. Not yet close enough to intervene he had watched as Yahiko had dove into her attacker without a moment of hesitation. He had been perfectly willing to protect her even if it meant pain for him. Though Kenshin was still angry at him and that loafer, Sanosuke, for leaving Kaoru alone while on the cliff, they had both redeemed themselves enough during the ambush to earn a pass on their punishment. Yahiko, through Kaoru's credit and Kenshin's own appreciation, might have possibly even earned himself a reward.

"Will his injury leave any permanent difficulties?"

"No, thank goodness. Megumi-san said he should heal nicely. He's not going to be able to get around easily for awhile, though."

Nodding his head again he sat back as Tae and her fellow helpers entered with the food. "I shall speak with him later today."

Kaoru was more than pleased with his interest in the boy and she smiled happily at her server as the snow monkey sat out her dishes and tea. Tae's helper did not look up at her, though, and the expression on her face was one of sadness. Curious and worried, Kaoru turned to the other helper but she too was staring downward.

"Is there anything else you require, my lord?" Tae's sweet voice spoke up next to Kenshin, but the edge to it was slightly surprising and it curled not only Kaoru's brow but the lord's as well.

"No, unless there is something the lady wishes for." Shaking her head when amber eyes glanced up to her Kaoru blinked as Tae nodded curtly and turned to leave with her aides in tow.

"That was strange." Speaking up after the shoji had shut, Kaoru pulled her eyes from the door to look across the table at the lord. "Do you think Tae-san is feeling well today?"

"Something has displeased her." Trying to shrug off the animosity her tan eyes had shown to him Kenshin picked up his chopsticks. "The physician did say last night that she might require the cook's help with the snake bite. Perhaps she did not get much sleep because of it."

"If that's the case… maybe you should give her the day off then, to rest. I can help clean up the kitchen for her." Something twitched on his face at the mention of her picking up the slack and she wondered if he was going to get angry with her again. Briefly she felt bad for even mentioning it. They had been getting along so well.

Closing his eyes and taking a breath Kenshin tried to think of a more appropriate reply than the immediate disapproval and denial her suggestion conjured. "If she needs more rest then she may take the day off, but you should not feel like you need to bribe me every time you ask me for a favor, Kaoru-dono. She has plenty of help already to take over her duties for one day. Besides, you were wounded yesterday, too. You need your rest as well."

"Oh, well… fine, but…" Bending over her meal and feeling contrite and foolish, Kaoru muttered around her chopsticks. "I wasn't trying to bribe you, I just thought…"

"That I wouldn't let her take a day off if I wasn't guaranteed my three meals?"

Well that made it sound like she was accusing him of being selfish and cruel. "Believe me, that's not what I was saying at all. For one thing I didn't say anything about cooking, and I'll just warn you now that you wouldn't want to even think about putting me in there if you expected something edible in return."

"Oh?"

Threading her hand through her hair in the pretext of scratching her scalp, she hid her embarrassment of the confession. "I can't cook, and I'd probably just burn the kitchen down if I tried."

"Hmm… sounds like the perfect excuse I need to order you to stay away from it."

Lowering her hand she glanced at him through her fingers and felt surprise at the grin he was hiding behind his tea cup. He was teasing her! Dropping her arm all the way she was momentarily at a loss on how to respond. Remembering childhood days she scrunched up her nose and stuck out her tongue. The smile behind his tea cup widened just slightly.

After breakfast Kaoru stood and stretched as she happily sighed that her stomach was full and no longer complaining. "Tae's food is always the greatest. Now all I need is a hot bath and I should be completely satisfied." Looking down at Kenshin's still seated figure she let her eyes drift over the bandages around his arm, lower stomach, and then to the hakama covering his legs. He was still wearing the torn pair of yesterday and she could just barely discern the blood stains in its dark color. "If you'd like to take a bath after me I'll change your bandages for you. They'll need to be changed regularly anyway to make sure the wounds stay clean." His mouth opened but he said nothing as if he didn't know how to exactly respond to either deny or bypass her offer. "It's no trouble at all, really. I want… to." Blushing she dropped her eyes to her fingers and watched as they twisted together.

Kaoru was embarrassed and in a very short time she was going to get angry. It was already building on her face as her lips pursed, her eyes narrowed, and her posture became just a bit defensive. A short second later and she was opening her mouth to speak her irritation with his silence, but he spoke over with a grin. "I would like that, Kaoru-dono." The annoyance on her face instantly disappeared and he was glad she had been appeased. It didn't matter that the wounds wouldn't get infected, negating any reason to change them unless he was getting the bandages wet, because it was something that Kaoru wanted. Whatever it took to keep her happy, he was willing to do. He much preferred her smiling, as she was this morning, to the sadness and frustration that had ruled them both before.

"Great! I'll go see about getting the bath heated up and when I'm done I'll come find you for your turn." Marching to the door she slid it open and braced herself for the cold wind that was blowing. The dining hall faced the western wall which gave a lovely view of the sunset when it was clear enough to see it go down over the ocean below. There was a good amount of space between its veranda and the outer wall, and that space was now covered in snow and seemed to be a picture perfect blanket of winter. The blinding white of the surface was not what greeted her when she walked out, however. Instead she was met by a hundred different faces of the servants she had befriended. Some of them she wasn't sure she recognized.

Astonished Kaoru froze once more in the doorway, and one hand instinctively went to the necklace on her chest.

"Wha-what's going on?"

Stepping sadly forward Misao stood up on her hind legs in the snow so that she could be seen better. "You can't go, milady. We want you to stay."

"Yes, please don't go away." Tsubame's soft, kitten voice spoke up next to her.

"We'd miss you, my lady."

"We don't want you to go." A loud buzz of agreement began to badger her on all sides and begged her not to leave because they liked her and wished for her to stay. Behind her she heard the click of Kenshin's talons on the floor as he stepped up to peek over her shoulder. At the sight of him, however, their voices only became more insistent.

"Please, my lord, you have to get her to stay!"

"She shouldn't have to leave!"

"We thought you wanted her here!"

Understanding hit Kaoru and she smiled while she shook her head. Apparently Yahiko and Sano, and perhaps Megumi and Tsubame, had been busy overnight spreading the rumor of her leaving. Of course since no one else knew about their conversation the night before they didn't know that she was now planning to stay. It frightened her a little to see how fast word traveled, but she was touched by how many of them truly liked her. Casting a look at Kenshin to see how he was taking this uprising of servants since most of them sounded a little upset with him for letting her go she wasn't surprised to see him frowning.

Sharply one of his red hands lifted to demand silence from his servants, and quite reluctantly they all calmed down. "I'll leave it to you, Kaoru-dono." Leaning against the door jam he crossed his arms against the cold and looked quite angry and intimidating. Smiling at his grumpy face she stepped up to the edge of the porch and pitched her voice to make sure they all heard.

"There's no need to worry, I've already decided to stay." A loud cheer burst from the crowd and Kaoru giggled at the joy they were showing over such a simple announcement. A laughing whoop from the mutt caused the fox next to him to jump and she smacked him as he shouted. "I knew you had it in ya!" Which one of them he was actually talking about Kaoru didn't know, but it still made her blush.

"Alright, alright!" Jumping up on the porch next to Kaoru, Misao hollered over the din. "Get back to work you lazy good-for-nothings! We want to give the lady good reason to stay, don't we?!"

"Misao. Don't be so mean." Scolding her softly, the small weasel jerked her head to look up at her with a large grin on her face.

"I'm glad you're staying, milady. It would have been boring without you here." Ducking a quick bow the weasel hopped off the covered walk and scampered after the others as they dispersed.

"That was really sweet."

"It was really none of their business to begin with." Still cross, Kenshin stepped fully out of the dining hall and shut the door.

"Now, Kenshin-sama, they live here, too, and I've become quite fond of everyone I have met so far. I think it's nice that they would make the effort to try and convince me to stay. Any such effort should be rewarded, ne?" Looking just slightly away from him and down at the snow she felt herself blush again. Embarrassment really was an unreasonable emotion.

"And if I had not asked you to stay myself… would you have stayed because they asked?"

Meeting his gaze she was a little surprised to find he did not duck away from her scrutiny as she expected, but instead studied intently the response her features would give. Licking her lips nervously and trying to hunt out the truth of her own feelings she was silent for a few moments. "No." The harsh gold of his irises almost seemed to soften in that instant and it prompted her confession to go further than she had originally intended. "I would have been… too unhappy to stay."

There was a lot of pain in her voice and it reminded him of how deeply he had wounded her. Eyes closing, he listened in tortured silence to her intake of breath. She was reading herself to go on and he experienced a brief moment of anxiety that he had done more damage than he had imagined.

"My lord?" Opening his eyes he jerked his head to stare over his shoulder at the interruption. It was the cook. "I feel that… I should apologize for my behavior this morning. It was very rude of me, and it will not happen again." A little impatient with all the continued interference from his servants Kenshin waved his hand in dismissal.

"See that it doesn't."

Bowed low, Tae sighed in relief and nodded. "Of course, my lord." When she looked up he was already turned back away, but Kaoru was smiling at her and so Tae impulsively stumbled on. "I thought, as a way of celebrating the season and since we have not yet rewarded everyone for their hard work cleaning up the palace, that I would make that dessert I have been promising." Kaoru's eyes lit up, excited, but her lord once again waved his hand as if uncaring. There was a difference, however, between the regular indifference he showed to his servants and the nearly agitated way he was trying to be rid of her now. It widened her perspective of the situation and Tae realized in wonder that she was getting in the middle of something she should not be. "I had thought sometime in the next day or so would be good." Bowing again Tae started backtracking her steps. "If you will excuse me." Turning tail she fled and waved her helpers back around the corner of the engawa in the process so that the master and mistress were once again alone.

"I've been looking forward to Tae's sweet dish. I wonder what it is." Curious and contemplating the extensive possibilities Kaoru blinked when the lord started to walk away. There was a look of frustration on the features she could see through the curtain of his bangs and she felt a pang of worry at not noticing what had apparently angered him. "Kenshin-sama… is there something wrong?"

"No." He paused "Perhaps." Shifting his hand as if trying to provoke his thoughts into bringing forth the correct terms he finally continued softly. "I did not mean for my words to hurt you so. I truly am sorry I have caused you such grief. I… mean to be more prudent in the future." The bow of his head was deep in regret before he left.

X

Laying aside her clothing Kaoru stood shivering in her skin as the warmth from the bathhouse washed over her. Glancing longingly at the tub as it steamed happily away she battled back the temptation to just skip washing off and jump in to soak out the cold. Fingering the bandages wrapped around her shoulder to stall the desire she sighed and began unraveling their linen length. She was way too dirty to be doing something like that, especially if Kenshin was going to be taking a bath after her. She doubted he would appreciate a filthy tub full of water. _I wonder how he fits his wings in there._

Shifting her shoulder around as it was freed from the confining wrap she winced as the wound gave a twinge of pain. Her fingers, arm, and the shin of one leg were also burning, and she briefly thought that she might not want to soak in the tub at all. What if she left blood in it? That wouldn't be sanitary. _I'll just make sure not to submerge my shoulder or left hand in. My shin's just a minor scrape. The hot water will hurt me more than I it._

Bending forward to reach for her first bucket of water and wash cloth, the shorter chain Kenshin had given her swung forward to smack against her nose. Huffing out a breath at having forgotten it she stood back up to unclasp it and place it aside with her clothes. The dim lighting within the bathhouse made its glow look even brighter and more noticeable within the bathhouse and she stopped to stare at it with it tangled around her fingers. Worrying her lip she held it up just a bit higher than her face as she remembered that scene that had flashed before her eyes out in the forest.

"_Thank you, Kenshin."_

In her vision he had smiled back.

"_I'm glad you are pleased, little one."_

Then another vision took over the first. A scene she thought perhaps she had seen in a dream.

"_Can I keep it?" _Her hand had held it up for him to see.

"_Come along, little one." _His hand had gently encouraged her to follow him out.

Shivering again, she could almost feel the sharp claws of his hand as they tickled the back of her scalp. The sensation faded a moment later, and she heard an echo of childish laughter rang as another vision came to mind.

"_I am making you a necklace so that you may wear it around your neck." _The patience in his had not wavered once.

"_Will you promise to make it a pretty necklace, Kenshin?" _Kaoru had thought nothing of the demands she had made.

"_I will try, little one…"_ Though unsure of himself and his abilities he had been willing to try to do as she asked.

"Did you really give me this necklace, Kenshin? Or am I making up my own stories as I liked to do when I was younger?" Lowering the necklace to rest the pink petal in the palm of her other hand she wished that she could remember that day so many years ago. Her father had never spoken of her journey through the forest, and her mother was no longer around to tell her the truth about the gift. Come to think of it the one merchant that had ever glimpsed the necklace had spoken of how nice the old chain was in comparison to the bauble. If he had noticed the silver links and their worth then she was sure it would not have been a cheap gift to buy for a child. Her parents would not have been able to afford something like that as a small toy for her.

Kenshin, however, had replaced the chain with one just as nice, if not nicer, without a second thought or hesitation. Although that could have been because he felt responsible for the damage it had undertaken to begin with, but she didn't believe this to be the case. He had been a little too concerned with the necklace for her to dismiss the idea.

"_You must keep it with you, always."_

"Is that the reason I have always worn it? Because you asked me to, Kenshin? But why haven't you said anything to me? Why haven't you treated me like someone you have met before? Or have you?" Brows furrowing as she tried to think of every conversation or look they had ever shared she hunted for something that would give him away. "Have I just not noticed? Is this why you have been so angry? Because I do not remember?" Almost tauntingly another vision came to mind.

"_When I grow up will I have wings like you, Kenshin?"_

"_I should hope not, little one. These wings are not a gift."_

"_Why not? Can't you fly with them?"_

"_Yes, but…"_

"_Will you take me flying?"_

"…"

"_Please? I've always wanted to fly."_

"…_Very well… but only a short flight."_

Sighing again Kaoru laid the necklace on top of her clothing. If only she could believe the conversations in her mind were real. There was no proof for her to act on them as if their were truth. Perhaps she could just ask Kenshin, but she wanted some more time to think on it first. They were just starting to get along and she didn't want to bring up anything that might be uncomfortable for him. She would see if any other memories came to mind within the next few days before she started asking around. If she thought of something that she hadn't so far seen or witnessed since living at the palace, something completely foreign and new, then maybe she would act a little more strongly on the suspicion.

Rinsing off and then scrubbing at her hair carefully with only her right hand, she tucked a towel around the ebony strands and stepped into the tub. It was deliciously hot and she relaxed blissfully in the heat with the base of her skull resting against the lip of the wooden tub. Rolling her head to one side she stared blankly at the glimmer of pink light that reflected off of her necklace. It was so bright lying there in the dark, and as her eyes grew heavy she wondered again what made it glow so beautifully.

X

_Someone was shaking her awake. There was a light pat of soft fingers on her cheek, a worried voice calling to her, and the sweet fragrance of violets spoke of her mother._

"_Mama?" Yawning and rubbing at her lashes Kaoru smiled up at her mother's pretty features. There were tears in her eyes._

"_Oh baby, I'm so glad you're safe." Warm arms wrapped around her smaller stature, hugging her to her mother's breast, and Kaoru let her eyes slide back closed._

"_I'm fine, Mama. Had lots of fun… with Kenshin." Another voice, speaking away from them, cut into her ears and lifted the fog of exhaustion that was weighing on her young body._

"_I do not wish to be ungrateful, my lord. If there is anything you ever need I will gladly repay this favor you have done by returning my daughter to me safely."_

"_I have no need of any favors from you." Kaoru recognized this voice, too, though it sounded much shorter than she was used to._

_Blinking, Kaoru pulled out of her mother's embrace. "Kenshin?" Still rubbing at the sleep in her eye she focused on the dark figure silhouetted by darker trees. Smiling as she could see a soft flush of red skin from the circle of lamplight on their porch Kaoru scooted out of her mother's lap and to the edge of the engawa. "Are you going to stay at my house now?" A sheen of gold from one of his horns showed the tilt of his head in her direction. When he spoke to her it was in a much gentler tone._

"_No, little one. I have brought you home and now it is time for me to return to mine."_

"_Okay. Can I visit again tomorrow?" Quite unaware of the upset her innocent question caused she stared only at the other hiding in the dark and did not see the horror on her father's face or the wonder on her mother's._

"_No, Kaoru-chan. You must not walk to the palace by yourself ever again. It is dangerous."_

"_Then come get me." Sliding off the porch Kaoru ran to his side and latched onto his hakama with a delighted giggle. "I want to go flying again."_

"_Kaoru! Get back here at once!"_

"_But Father, Kenshin's really nice."_

"_Do as I say, aijou!"_

"_Anata…" Her mother stepped up behind her father and placed a hand on his shoulder. "be calm. He has not hurt her yet. Why would he now?"_

_Tugging on Kenshin's hakama Kaoru grinned up at the face that glanced down at her. "Kenshin wouldn't hurt anyone, would you Kenshin?" The smile on his face seemed just a bit painful._

"_I would not hurt you, little one." Tentatively his hand touched the back of her head, and there was affection in the gesture._

"_See, anata?" Stepping in front of her husband Sayoko smiled as she looked upon her daughter's happy face. "Did you have a lot of fun at the palace today, Kaoru?"_

"_Uh-huh. I made a lot of new friends and Kenshin took me flying and look! He even made this necklace for me." Lifting up the long chain of her necklace she held up the bauble for her mother to see._

"_How very pretty. He made it for you, did you say?"_

"_Yep. I pulled the petal from a funny cherry tree and he let me keep it when I asked. Didn't you, Kenshin?" Slipping a hand into his she pulled on two of his fingers this time to grab his attention. His fingers curled gently around her small hand and he nodded._

"_That was very kind of him. Did you say thank you?"_

"_Uh-huh."_

_Smile moving from Kaoru to the dragon scaled lord, Sayoko bowed slightly at the waist. "Then I must thank you as well for taking such good care of my child, and for gifting such a beautiful, and valuable, necklace to her. Please, will you not ask for anything to repay our debt to you? Such a favor would foster good relations between our family and yours. Is there nothing you would wish for?"_

_Kaoru bounced excitedly with his hand now clasped between both of hers, and though she did not understand the situation completely she did know that whatever Kenshin's answer was would decide if she got to see him again. A soft moment of contemplation trained his golden irises on her before he looked up at the woman and then past her to the father who was more than unhappy with his wife's welcoming words._

"_There is nothing in this world I desire… except, perhaps, to have your daughter visit me again."_

"_Wonderful." Sayoko was pleased by the request, but sounded almost as if she had expected such an answer._

"_And what will everyone else think when our daughter is gone half the time visiting the palace they are all afraid of? They will think evil things about her. It will not make her life easy." Koshijirou sounded less than thrilled by the prospect._

"_Anata…"_

"_He is right. That is why she will only come one day a year. I will collect her before dawn and return her after dusk. No one will see her come or go and after her eighteenth birthday, or if she is married before then, she will no longer be obligated to come. I have no desire to ruin her life, and I promise to always bring her home in the same condition I find her." Kenshin's voice was steady and sure._

"_But one day a year is so little time."_

"_Once a year? Is that tomorrow, Kenshin?"_

_Frowning at the question, he shook his head. "No, it is not tomorrow."_

"_Then when? Next week?"_

"_No, baby girl." There was a sad look of sympathy on her mother's features as she went on to explain. "Once a year is… like how often the cherry trees blossom."_

_Kaoru's eyes widened as the time frame finally sank in. "But that's so far away! Don't be mean, Kenshin! I want to come back tomorrow!"_

"_It is better if you do not." Tears were glistening in her bright, blue eyes and he looked away. "You will bring her to the clearing at the base of the mountain before dawn in one years time. There I will collect her and there I will bring her back. This way no one is sure to see."_

"_I don't want to wait that long. I don't want to." Beginning to cry in earnest, Kaoru yanked her hands free of his and clutched him once more around his leg. "You're my friend, Kenshin. Friends stick together. How can we be friends if I never see you?"_

_Voice lowering so that only she could hear him, he bent closer towards her upturned face. "Once a year is all that I dare ask for, little one. I would gladly give you more, but you are very young and belong with your father and mother."_

"_But what if you forget me? What if you don't come and get me like you said?"_

"_I will more than likely remember you for the remainder of my life. It is you, I fear, who will forget."_

"_I won't forget, Kenshin. I have my necklace to remind me."_

"_It is a promise then." Stepping gently our of her reach, he turned his back to the little house and her waiting parents. "I shall see you in one year, little one. By then you should have many interesting tales to share with me." A sharp gust of wind overbalanced her weight and she flopped down onto the ground to watch the shadow of his form disappear over the treetops._

X

Gasping as she sat quickly up and forced the water to slosh roughly around her Kaoru hissed when her left hand knocked against the tub and jarred her stinging fingers. Cradling her hand to her chest as she shivered under the cooling water, she looked back at her necklace. Whether imagined or real her dreams were becoming more insistent.

A part of her hoped they were true.

X

A/N: This took more time than I thought it would. It seems after having such a climactic chapter the muse kind of tried to hide from me. Such a fickle thing. So I had to beat this chapter out of me, and it has a lot of stuff that I liked, but felt a bit forced. Although it could seem that way to me because I've been a bit distracted lately. I hope everyone reading it finds it to be good, though I don't think it fair to compare it to the last chapter. I felt really good about that one. Anyway, this was a way for me to try and advance Kaoru into some epiphanies. Soon things will really get to rolling, and we can get past her insecurities and go straight into Kenshin's. Oh, and I haven't forgotten the other characters I've introduced, so don't be afraid, but they are side characters so they won't get as much spot light. Yahiko's doing well for himself, though, since Kenshin is taking an interest in him. This will be a good way for me to get him interested in everyone else, too. Yay! Alright, I'll stop giving everything away, and let you go. Please review, and hope to see you in a week. By the way, I was wanting to hold off this chapter until today, since it's Saturday, so me having so many issues with it was almost fortuitous. Ciao.


	15. Arrangements

Thanks for the reviews, and here we go.

Disclaimer: Say it isn't so.

**Chapter 15: Arrangements**

Yahiko huffed irritably and a white puff of mist issued from his mouth to join the cold air of mid-afternoon. It was sunny today but that hardly mattered since the temperature was still well below freezing. The sunshine was the only reason he was now lying on the engawa, though, and he shifted once to try and catch a bit more of the pale rays across his face. The pain in his forearm ached with the chill, his mood plummeted further, and he watched with a foul temper as other servants ran back and forth across the porches and through the snow as they went about their duties.

It had only been a week since he had been injured and no one was allowing him to do anything. At first when Lord Kenshin had come to personally see him the day after the battle his ego had puffed up with so much pride he had thought even timid Tsubame would hit him for bragging. After a few days, however, he began to realize that receiving the lord's attention was not really that big of a blessing. Especially since he had a lady now that could influence his decisions. Getting a rather grand speech of gratitude was great and all, and he still secretly felt lofty for it, but hearing the lady's request to rest and recuperate ingrained in the lord's own words of order really nagged on him. Resting and letting his wound heal was necessary, he knew, since he couldn't actually walk just yet, but it was the way in which she insisted he go about it.

Like at that very moment he was lying on a large cushion with a thick blanket draped over his back and Tsubame was watching over him like a mother hen. Tsubame being there was nice, but she wouldn't let him get away with anything, and just knowing that she was on the lady's side kind of irked him. Plus there was the way everyone else was treating him as if he were fragile and helpless, and the teasing the mutt and a few of his friends directed at him when they saw him bundled up like a baby pissed him off. It was getting to the point where he felt no one recognized the true reason he was in this predicament, and instead they only saw that he was hurt and weak. Huffing again he tucked his nose under his uninjured leg in shame.

"Don't sulk, Yahiko-chan. Lord Kenshin was very impressed with your strength. Aren't you still proud that you saved Lady Kaoru?"

Glancing over the top of his paw at Tsubame's small, tabby stripped form with her fur bristled out to retain heat he grunted. "Proud or not no one else seems to see it that way."

"Is that what is bothering you?" Padding over to sit next to him she leaned her weight just slightly into his side. "Everyone who is important knows what you did and thinks very highly of you. The mistress can't stop bragging on you." Lighting up excitedly Tsubame remembered something that was sure to make him happy again. "If you promise not to tell anyone I know a secret of the lady's."

"Oh? What could she possibly say that's interesting?" Acting indifferent he closed his eyes, but his ears perked up to swivel in her direction.

"She seems to think you would have made an excellent sword master and wishes she could teach you her father's sword style. Fancy you being a samurai like Lord Kenshin and Master Shinta." Awed over the prospect Tsubame looked dreamily skyward. Even after so many years of living to think her Yahiko had even more potential for growth was amazing. _To be as strong as Lord Kenshin and wise as Master Shinta…_ The thought made her blush.

"Yeah, fancy that." Sarcasm clearly enunciated, Yahiko curled away from her and she frowned at the hurt it caused. "I'm sorry to break it to you but nothing good is ever going to happen to us. Face it, Tsubame, we're gonna be stuck like this forever."

Tears were prickling her eyes when she answered softly. "At least we'll be together."

"Not really…" The frustration in his voice brought to light the pain they both carried.

Circling the pillow she nosed her way under the cover and twisted her body so that she was lying with her back pressed into his side. His fur was always warm and the purr that rumbled her chest was instinctual to her kitten form. "Being close to you is enough for me. Things could always be worse, Yahiko."

"Hey, kitty litter!" A voice from across the yard sunk a rock into his gut.

"Speaking of worse."

"How many times do I need to tell you to stay away from my girl?"

Lifting his head up sharply at the declaration Yahiko glared at a medium-sized puma coming there way. "And how many times do I need to tell you she doesn't want anything to do with you, Yutarou."

"You've got her brainwashed, Yahiko-_chan_. She'll warm up to me after we're married." Jumping down into the snow the tan-colored mountain lion made a show of strutting his way over.

"Ain't gonna happen." Growling low in his throat Yahiko's ears pinned back in warning.

"Who's gonna stop me? You? Please. The deal's already been made between my parents and hers. She's got an obligation to marry me. Maybe you'd understand that if you had parents."

"Yutarou-san, that was very rude."

"Don't try talking nice to him, Tsubame." Lip curling in anger and disgust, Yahiko stood slowly into a crouch. "The only language that idiot understands is force."

"Are you insinuating that you'll _force_ me into annulling our engagement? That's a laugh. I heard the poor little kitty got hurt."

"I can still kick your scrawny ass, Yutarou!"

"Yahiko, please. Your injury…"

"I'm fine." Shaking off the blanket, Yahiko growled louder as Yutarou came closer.

"Yeah, let him make a fool of himself, Tsubame-chan. Then you can really see who's the better pick."

"And you really think she'll pick some spoiled little general's son? You've had everything handed to you, even your engagement. What have you ever done to earn Tsubame?"

"Earning is for poor little orphaned boys like you, Yahiko-_chan_. Money and rank buy what I need."

Tsubame gasped at his side and Yahiko snarled and launched himself from the veranda and straight into the puma's chest. Rolling through the snow they were a bundle of claws, hisses, and sharp fangs. Yahiko's front paw handicapped him and Tsubame whimpered each time he cried out in pain because of it. As it drug on the width of compacted snow widened as they tumbled about and the noise from their fight grew louder and attracted a lot of attention. It was not long before the loud footsteps of a human were heard running up from behind the kitten's anxious form.

"What's going on?"

Twisting to look up at the lady's confused face Tsubame began to cry in her high feline voice. "Yahiko and Yutarou are fighting again. You have to make them stop. Yahiko's injury is bleeding." Sure enough speckles of blood from the tight bandage was dying the white snow red and coating part of the tan hide of the mountain lion as he rolled over the top of it.

"Foolish boys."

Soft brown eyes widened as the lord stepped around Kaoru and she watched him hop off the raised walkway to stalk across the yard towards the wrestling match. Bending smoothly at his knees he knocked the puma aside with a back-handed slap and then grabbed a fistful of the tiger's fur when he tried to scramble after. Lifting Yahiko up by the scruff of his neck he pinned the puma with a warning look. "Sit down." Reluctant to give up the match but uneasy in the lord's presence Yutarou hesitated before sitting his rump down in the snow. Turning to the side Kenshin sat Yahiko down as well so that he was standing between them. "Now. Explain yourselves."

They both began talking at once and each were trying to out yell the other to make sure their side of the story was heard and believed. Becoming irritated, and remembering just why he had never wanted the job of master to begin with, Kenshin lost patience. "Stop!" Both quieted with a whimper. Eyeing each he took a breath and pointed at the mountain lion. "You. What is your name?"

"Uh, Yutarou, my lord. Tsukayama Yutarou."

Kneeling next to Tsubame on the veranda with her hand braced against the kitten's trembling side Kaoru's brow curled. Not one person she had met since arriving had introduced themselves with a surname. Not even Kenshin. _Well, I guess Saitou is a surname, but… what makes him and this Tsukayama kid so special?_

Kenshin frowned, he remembered the name well. "The son of Tsukayama Yuzàemon?"

"Yes, my lord." There was definite pride in his voice now. Kenshin's frown deepened. Yuzàemon had been a faithful supporter of Tenshi, Kenshin's second to oldest brother, because he had advanced him the furthest. Something like rage trembled in his stomach. Glancing sideways at Kaoru on the porch he tried to take a deep breath. Because of her influence he was slowly learning restraint. _No one else that knows the truth is still alive but Saitou. This boy is ignorant to the betrayal that happened, or he would not now feel pride for his namesake._

"And what is the son of General Tsukayama doing fighting one of my personal servants?" Part of the pride on Yutarou's face disappeared, and he ducked his head in a more obedient gesture.

"My lord, I was merely trying to protect the honor of my affianced. Tsubame-chan and I are engaged to be married." Confused, Kaoru looked down at Tsubame, but her head was buried in her paws. "I have tried to be patient and understanding of her pity towards this lowly servant boy, but he has misunderstood her sympathy and taken it for affection. He has misled her and now he thinks to take her from me. I will not allow him to ruin her reputation."

Studying the hint of only partial honesty in his eyes Kenshin redirected his gaze to the tiger on his other side. There was no deference in his posture, only a tense desire to pounce the puma again. Anger radiated from his black eyes. "Yahiko." The tiger's muscles were so rigid he jumped when he was addressed and he darted a side look up. "Were you aware of Tsubame's engagement to Yutarou-san?"

Jaw trembling as he tried to fight against the tide of the conversation the helpless feeling that all would no longer be well settled in his chest. If Kenshin were to order him away from Tsubame he would have to obey. Even though he had been recognized for his bravery and strength by saving the lord's lady, rank was still rank and Yahiko had none. Features contorting as if he had eaten something foul he forced out the words that were expected of him. "Y-yes… my lord." The pain in his foreleg was no longer the main ache in his body.

"And you pursued her anyway?"

"Yes, my lord." Sinking down into the snow he hated to even imagine the look of triumph on Yutarou's face.

Kaoru shifted and Kenshin's golden eyes looked up at her frown. The kitten was curled in her arms now and her face was hidden in the crevice of Kaoru's elbow. Flitting his sight between Yutarou and Yahiko, one pleased the other defeated, he sighed. "I shall resolve this issue right now and afterwards I will stand for no more of this." Both nodded. "Good. Tsubame-san." Soft, pointed ears twitched and she peeked around the fabric of Kaoru's haori sleeve. "It is your right to choose."

"But, my lor…"

"Quiet!" Pinning the puma with another glare, his voice dropped warningly. "I will not tolerate any interruptions." Pausing to make sure they both clearly understood he addressed the kitten again. "Now, Tsubame-san, is it your wish to keep the engagement between Yutarou-san and yourself?" Looking half frightened she shrunk back into Kaoru's arms a little further. "Be honest. I am not looking for an answer you would give out of fear."

Yutarou was now the angry one and a part of Tsubame knew that marrying him had been the wish of her parents before their death, but… Looking down at Yahiko with his dark eyes peering hopefully back she also knew her mother would have never wanted her to be miserable. Without Yahiko she would be miserable. Besides, their lives now were nothing like the way they had been back when the arrangement had been made. What difference was rank and status now when they could no longer leave the palace walls?

"I do not wish it, my lord." Answer soft but firm Tsubame met the amber eyes of her master. "I never have."

"And the reason?" Pressing her further Kenshin wanted no room for doubt. "Be clear. I will not have this happen again."

"Yes, my lord." Becoming more sure by the minute, Tsubame sat up in Kaoru's arms. _We are so lucky to have such a caring lord. Just like Master Shinta was._ "I am grateful that Yutarou-san's family thought me suitable to marry their son, but I do not love him. I…" Suddenly embarrassed that she would have to announce her feelings not only in front of the lady but the lord as well, she ducked her head and continued shyly. "I am in love with Yahiko-kun."

Kaoru was smiling again and it eased his irritation. "Then it is decided."

"No, my lord, it is not."

The disbelieving annoyance that jerked Kenshin's mouth worried Kaoru, but the audacity of this other kid felt just a bit like someone who was used to getting his way. "Are you saying you would question my judgment on this matter, Tsukayama-san?"

"The engagement was agreed upon by our parents. Just because she says she doesn't want to marry me doesn't mean a thing."

"Are you serious?" Unable to keep her tongue any longer, Kaoru huffed angrily. "Why you little brat."

"Then I will speak to both of your parents."

"My parents are dead, Kenshin-sama." Confessing sadly, Tsubame turned into Kaoru's embrace. "They cannot break off the engagement. I have been left in the care of Yutarou-san's family."

Though he felt a moment of pity for her his main sensation was of relief at the announcement. That would make things even easier. "No, Tsubame-san. Your care is now the responsibility of your master and that would be me." Crossing his arms he stared down the impertinent mountain lion and wished he could do more to put him in his place. However, even though General Tsukayama was dead and all that was left to the boy was his mother, he did not feel like stirring up any resentment for something so ridiculous. "As her primary caretaker I have the right to annul your engagement. Run home and tell your mother I will speak with her tomorrow."

Looking sullen but still insolent, Yutarou curled up a lip at Yahiko as he struggled to stand. "Fine, see if I care. Who wants a woman that would rather have a piece of servant trash over a general's son anyway?"

Unable to stand his pompous attitude Kenshin abruptly turned his attention to the tiger. "That reminds me, Yahiko-kun, I have spoken with Kogorou-san and Soujirou-san, and they have both agreed you would be a good addition to the palace guard."

"What?" Eyes widening, Yahiko stared up at the lord in disbelief. Yutarou dropped his jaw in shock. "Really?"

Finding himself pleased with the boy's excitement, a strange occurrence as he was just a servant, Kenshin curled his brow into a frown at the urge to smile. "Of course. This is not a matter I would speak of lightly."

"But, the palace guard are… I'm mean you have to be…"

"As soon as you are completely healed you will begin your training. It will be modified, obviously, so you will not learn their original swordsmanship or weaponry, but there are other matters you must learn besides fighting that are required. Do you think yourself up to the task?"

"Yes! Yes, of course!"

"Then I am pleased." About to turn away he stopped when Kaoru dropped down into the snow in only her stockings. Exasperated and forgetting completely about the puma and the satisfying outrage he was stewing in Kenshin sighed. "What are you doing?"

"We need to get Yahiko-kun back up onto the veranda so I can re-bandage his wound." Bending down next to his limping form she smacked the tiger upside the head once. "Since the idiot decided it necessary to fight while injured." Ducking, Yahiko narrowed his eyes, but the next moment she was smiling and wrapping an arm around his middle to lift him. "But I am glad you've got your priorities straight when it comes to Tsubame-chan. She's such a lucky girl to have you looking out for her."

"Shut up." The uncomfortable reply was softened by his own smile and Kaoru flashed a grin at Kenshin as he stooped to help her. The return look on the lord's face showed a certain amount of serenity she had never witnessed there before. It was as if he were more certain of himself and situation. As if resolving the fight had put some things into better perspective. The look made her feel calm, and yet unsure at the same time.

X

"Your wounds are healing nicely, Kenshin-sama." Happy with the thought Kaoru put away the supply of extra bandages and reached for her haori. It was getting late and she was beginning to feel tired, though that might have had a lot to do with the cold. It always made her feel tired.

"They have been well tended to." The comment was off-hand but she was still pleased. "How about your own, Kaoru-dono? There haven't been… any complications?" The worry in his voice curled her lips and she shook her head ease his mind.

"No. Megumi-sensei's medicine has helped to keep them clean and uninfected. It'll take awhile for my fingernail to grow back, but Megumi-sensei doesn't seem to think I'll have any problems with it, either."

"Good."

Lingering, Kaoru briefly fingered the collar of the haori he had given her before her touch slipped to the chain of her necklace. Briefly her eyes dropped to look at it and she fleetingly wondered if she shouldn't ask him about her memories. Deciding against it, she tried to distract herself by dredging up a different topic. "So… do you think the mother of that boy today will be difficult about the engagement? I mean, I find it a little strange that he would even still be holding onto such an arrangement after so long."

"I as well. Truth be told I was surprised that he would demand a marriage that would no longer gain him anything." The tone of his voice changed as his words held an emotion she couldn't comprehend, and she realized it was the first time she had ever heard him speak about anything even partially concerning their age or circumstance. "I am hoping that the reality behind the situation is something a little more simple. Like boyish rivalry, or even that he truthfully liked the girl enough to be envious of her relationship with Yahiko-kun. That will make it easier to speak with his mother, and will cause no problems later on with her, her connections, or the rest of her family."

"It's kind of sad, though, to think he might actually have a crush on Tsubame-chan and has harbored it as long as he has." Kenshin was noncommittal on this thought so she chewed her lip before shifting her muscles to stand. "I wish you luck, whatever the original intent turns out to be. I do think it's great that you're going so far out of your way just to make Tsubame-chan and Yahiko-kun happy."

Frowning, he looked away from her to resume an old habit from before their fight. "Making them happy was never my purpose. I will simply not tolerate those two fighting and causing such a disturbance at random times of the day."

Shrugging, Kaoru smothered her smile and cast her voice indifferently. "Either way they're both happy with the outcome. Tsubame-chan was already talking about wedding arrangements and Yahiko couldn't stop bragging about his entry into training for the palace guard. Whatever your reason I am glad they are pleased." Dropping her gaze she concentrated on picking at a scab that was covering one of her nearly healed fingers. "Especially Tsubame-chan. Living with the knowledge that you are going to marry someone you do not care for is not an enjoyable experience."

Sharply his attention returned to her and when she looked up to say goodnight she was surprised by the fixed set of his gaze. "Has your father chosen someone for you to marry, Kaoru-dono?"

Blinking in brief surprise, Kaoru gave a small, abrupt laugh. "Once upon a time when I was like six he did make an arrangement with another family from the village, but…" Shrugging, she made a face and waved her hand through the air. "he was a snotty, evil little imp. When we turned fifteen it became apparent that it was not a trait he was going to grow out of so Father ended the betrothal. Thankfully. I think I would have ran away first before marrying that idiot."

"Hmm." The sound was not disbelieving but it was not a satisfied sound either. "And did your father have any trouble with his parents?"

Wincing, Kaoru let out a breath. "Well, he was one of Father's students, and obviously if we were married then he would have been promised our dojo as my dowry. So, when Father decided against the wedding it really upset him and his family and he quit the dojo… along with everyone else. His family is pretty influential in the village and no one likes to go against them, so... Anyway, that's the reason why Father had to travel across the mountain to the other village to find students because all of ours quit over two years ago. We had to survive on whatever money we had saved… and we had to sell a lot of stuff too."

"Hmm." Another unnecessary noise that sounded not quite pleased. "Has this… boy given _you_ any trouble?"

Lifting a brow Kaoru glanced over his facial features questioningly. "Not that it matters now but Enishi gives everybody trouble. He excels at it."

"Enishi?" Eyes narrowing, Kenshin sat up a little straighter and his voice turned just slightly accusing. "That is the name you compared me to your first evening here!"

Biting her lip, she knew she was supposed to be contrite but his reaction was threatening to make her laugh. "I did?"

"Yes. You did." There was no doubt now that he was definitely not pleased.

"Sorry. I take it back. Really, I do. Enishi is… well a few words that are not decent for polite society."

"Do you really consider my company polite society, Kaoru-dono? With the lax way you conduct yourself around me I have to wonder."

Full on laughing, Kaoru covered her face with one hand. "Fine then. Enishi is a big jerk that's never going to change. Neither you nor I were used to each other when we first met. We're getting along much better now that we've been around each other awhile, and whatever kind of society you are," She shrugged with a smile. "I really enjoy your company, Kenshin."

If he hadn't reacted she wouldn't have thought twice about what she'd just said, but with his bangs falling away from his face as he tilted his head she could clearly see the change to his features. Contemplation softened his eyes, wonder parted his lips, the muscles in his face relaxed, and she couldn't decide if he was angry or offended. Either way it was an expression that made her nervous.

"I-I'm sorry, that was completely rude…" His dazed voice cut her off softly.

"As long as you did not mean for it to be disrespectful…" He looked away when she glanced up. "I do not mind."

"Really?" Pleased, Kaoru smiled. "Great! Will you call me Kaoru?"

Becoming very uncomfortable Kenshin hunched his shoulders defensively. "It would not be seemly, Kaoru-dono."

"I don't see the difference."

"As a lady staying in my palace you will be treated and addressed properly or it in turn suggests my hospitality and respect towards you is questionable. My respect for you will never be questionable."

"Even though this lady likes to argue like a man and practices swordsmanship?" Teasing him for his noble thought patterns she crossed her arms and gave him a playful look.

Recognizing the sarcasm in her voice, a feat he was getting better at, Kenshin nodded solemnly. "Warrior maidens are still women and thus shall be honored accordingly. Wielding a sword, after all, is merely a more dangerous way of dancing."

"You make it sound like you've known other women warriors!" Intrigued, Kaoru groaned in frustration. "That's really unfair! You can't just bring up a subject like that this late at night. I'm tired and I want to go to bed." Pointing a finger, she pursed her lips on an exaggerated frown. "We're going to finish this conversation tomorrow." Grinning and repressing a laugh, he nodded solemnly. "Goodnight, Kenshin."

"Goodnight, my lady."

Shutting the shoji with a huff Kaoru walked through the hallway and out the tsumado to the open walkway. There wasn't much distance between his pavilion and her own to the east, which was good since it was incredibly cold, but it gave her enough time to order her thoughts. Soft particles of drifted snow were dusting the outreaches of the planks and when she looked out into the darkness she could just barely see the large white flakes falling from the heavens. It was a gentle coating of snow tonight, more calming than beautiful, but it would still add several inches to the already accumulated blanket. Soon it would be level with the veranda.

A soft glow illuminated the clouds slightly off to her left, and as the light caught her eye she slowed to a stop to stare. The rest of the palace as well as city was off in that direction, but she couldn't think of anything besides an open fire that would give off such a glow. It was too late for anyone to still be awake, and in this weather such a fire would be pointless and difficult to make. Curious, Kaoru glanced once over her shoulder at the partial hint of candlelight from Kenshin's pavilion, and then back towards the mysterious shine. It didn't look to be that far away.

Navigating the maze of buildings and walkways and trying her best to stay up on the boards and out of the snow Kaoru made her way towards the peculiar sight. At the very edge of the palace where the mediating structures that separated the it from the city stood she stopped and blinked as she found the source. It was the shrine she was not allowed near. The shrine no one was allowed to go in. Something was wrong, however, because the door was standing wide open, and the glow of light was coming from inside. Someone was where they should not have been.

_Kenshin will want to know. I'll just go and peek inside to see who has disobeyed him and then leave. There shouldn't be any harm in that. They may not even need to be punished depending on what they're doing. I may be able to save whoever it is from a scolding._ Misdirecting her thoughts away from her own curiosity she set herself a mission and stepped down into the snow.

Almost upon the door and she realized an important fact that had so far escaped her observations. There were no footprints leading up to the doorway, and since the shrine was not connected to any of the other buildings by a walkway anyone wishing to go inside would have to walk through the snow to get to it. _Unless whoever it is can fly. Like Kenshin or Aoshi or that owl I met in the woods._ Carefully stepping up the stairs she glanced over all that she could see of the inside to search for movement.

So far all that was visible was a tree. It was a large tree with bare branches. Briefly she wondered how it received any rain to live on with the roof and walls covering it from all sides, but then she thought that perhaps Kenshin came and watered it. He was the only one allowed inside, after all. Then she wondered why it was concealed. Was it so delicate it could not be submitted to the outside elements?

A dark shadow flitted through her peripheral vision and Kaoru ducked instinctively. There _was _someone inside. Lightly tiptoeing the rest of the distance to the doorway Kaoru hid beside the open door jam and peeked her head quickly around the corner. The origin of the glow instantly attracted her attention and she focused on it instead to allow her eyes blinking to adjust to the sudden light. The aura was nearly pink and did not flicker like a candle or flame but seemed to radiate from a couple of blossoms blooming from a branch of the tree. Surprised, she gasped and was quickly distracted as warmth slowly began heating the skin of her chest. Glancing down at her necklace she saw that the glass petal was glowing brighter in reaction, and something unexpectedly clicked together in her mind.

Kaoru had walked up these steps before, had opened this door, and had skipped happily inside. Her large blue eyes had at one time stared up at this tree in wonder and amazement, had envied the pretty glass petals, and had plucked one sparkling piece from a branch to take with her.

_But then the light disappeared, a shadow falling over her figure from behind. Turning around quickly, her hand clutched to her chest, she stared upwards, for the being was much taller than she. _

Shaking her head Kaoru cupped the bauble of her necklace in one hand and clutched at it desperately. Something had happened before that. Something… no, someone else had spoken with her.

"_What a beautiful little girl you are."_

_Jumping, blue eyes shot to the shadow standing behind the trunk of the tree._

"_Do not be frightened, young one, I, nor anyone else here, will hurt you." Stepping closer the figure resolved itself into the form of a woman and her lips were curved ever so slightly into a smile. "That petal in your hand was not meant to fall for many years yet."_

_Suddenly afraid she had done something wrong Kaoru's bottom lip pulled downward. "Am I in trouble? I only wanted to keep one. They're all so pretty."_

"_I do not suppose it has fallen, yet, either, so do not fret. As long as it stays in your hand and never shatters on the ground I do not mind if you keep it for now. One day, though, I will need it back. Will you take good care of it for me until then?" Nodding eagerly Kaoru clasp the glass petal between her palms. "There is another that you must ask, however, young one. You see, this petal does not belong solely to myself. It holds power over another here. I have given you my permission to keep it, but he must allow it as well. Be a polite little girl and ask the lord, too." A slender finger pointed behind her, and Kaoru whirled around to stare up at the shadow now standing over her._

_Smiling, she held up the petal for his scrutiny._

"_Can I keep it?"_

_There was a tinge of displeasure in his gaze, but the gold hue of his irises was not directed upon her but the other woman now retreating back into the branches of the tree. A large, clawed hand curled around the back of her head, his sharp nails tickled her neck, and he led her gently back out of the shrine. As if keeping her from danger._

"_Come along, little one."_

"It is nice to see you again, my young jasmine-scented girl."

X

A/N: I really like it when I get to writing and everything comes out smoothly and then ideas just run through my head and I think, oh, oh, I could put this here and it works just so perfect! Sigh. I also like getting to introduce other stuff in small increments that way I give little hints as to where all of this is going. Sometimes I wonder if they aren't too small at times and no one even notices, but I guess sometimes that's the point, so you can think back after you find out later and think, oh yeah, I remember him saying something about that. Anyway…

I wanted to have some tension and back story for Yahiko, and Yutarou popped into my head. I didn't originally want to make Yutarou be such a jerk, but I also wanted to make sure he had that rich and spoiled attitude. He still answers to Kenshin, though. Ha-ha-ha-ha. I'll have some more stuff about him later. I just kind of randomly made Kaoru say something about Tsubame and wedding arrangements, and it got me to thinking about some future stuff that would ease the plot along, but then I thought… would it be too weird having Tsubame and Yahiko get married even though they're all over a thousand years old but still technically stuck in ten-year-old bodies? I'm thinking that one over, and any input you have would help. So it may or may not be in there. It's not necessary, though, for the story, so it's just a side thought. Well, hope that you liked, and see you in the next chapter. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.

They're so cute now that they're getting along!


	16. The Sakura Tree

Disclaimer: Another that says something similar to the last. Like how I own nothing.

**Chapter 16: The Sakura Tree**

"_It is nice to see you again, my young jasmine-scented girl."_

Gasping, Kaoru tripped backwards and fell against one of the posts, her socks slipping on the polished wood and sending her to the floor on her backside.

"I'm sorry I startled you." The shadow stepped closer to the door, but did not cross its barrier to the outside. "Are you alright?"

Unable to respond intelligibly, Kaoru nodded, her eyes still wide and staring as if she had never seen another human in her entire life. It was fast becoming obvious that the memories and dreams plaguing her mind were in fact true and not made up. Many, many things that connected to this realization demanded her attention all at one time, but with the woman now standing before her, she needed to prioritize. For one, though she now knew she had met this woman before, a certain fact that would not have been clear to her as a child was suddenly apparent now. How was it, in the midst of all these transformed humans and the appearance of Kenshin himself, was this one woman normal?

"Who are you?"

The glow from behind her darkened the features facing Kaoru, but she could just see a hint of a smile pulling at her lips. "We did not get the chance to introduce ourselves properly last time you were here. I am so glad you have asked me now. I am Kiyosato Tomoe." In a gesture of perfection and beauty, she bowed just slightly in her direction.

Standing slowly to her feet, still uncertain of the situation, Kaoru nodded her head back. "Kamiya Kaoru."

"Kaoru. What a pretty name, and quite appropriate. You have such a sweet scent."

"My mother gave it to me."

"Most mothers do name their children." There was amusement in her voice, and Kaoru frowned. "Come along, dear child. It must be freezing out there. Come sit inside where it is warmer."

Hesitating for another second longer, Kaoru followed her urging, stepping over the threshold and under the arm that wrapped around her back. Once inside, the door slid softly shut, though Kaoru was certain the woman had not moved from her side to close it. The inside was merely a surrounding walkway, at the center the tree she had seen before, and all was darkness except for the glow. Warmth suffused her body the closer they came to the glimmering blossoms, and Kaoru shot a side look at the lady named Tomoe.

With the shine now illuminating her face, she could see the delicate beauty of her features. Dark, coal black hair covered her forehead, heightening the pale white of her skin and the dark blush of her lips. The lashes around her eyes were thick, and her irises themselves were so black she could not tell where they ended and her pupils began. She was taller than Kaoru, by several spaces, and the kimono she wore was as extravagant as the ones that belonged to Kenshin's mother.

Questions came to her mind, wanting to know everything, but the hand at her back pressed down on her shoulder, suggesting she should sit. Attention returning to her surroundings, she found they were directly before the only cherry blossoms still hanging onto the bare branches of the tree. They were exactly like the single petal attached to her necklace, sparkly like glass and pink as a fresh bloom. She frowned, however, as she studied them, because she was sure she remembered more than just the two now left. Two blossoms, and one was half gone.

"Do you remember your first visit, Kaoru-chan? I see that you have kept the petal safe and undamaged like I asked you to." Seated cross-legged in her hakama, Kaoru pulled her eyes away from the blooms and looked next to her at the lady.

"I… I have only just begun to remember." Pressing her necklace into her chest, Kaoru dropped her eyes. "I don't know how I ever forgot." Brows jerking, she felt a moment of sadness and frustration. It may have only been one day, but it had been an eventful day, and there was still so much about it she could not recall. Kenshin had told her she would more than likely be the one to forget. She hated that he was right.

"You were very young." Reaching a hand towards her, Tomoe fingered the chain visible above Kaoru's own splayed digits. "What a clever idea to make it into a necklace."

Half-smiling, still unsure, Kaoru felt a moment of affection as she realized she could now speak her next statement with certainty. "Kenshin made it for me. I remember… he wanted me to have it at all times. To remind me…"

"Did he?" The slim hand came up to brush over her hair, like a mother would a child. Her touch was ice cold in contrast to the warmth in the air. "Then he was not angry with you for trespassing?"

Shaking her head quickly, Kaoru dredged up other memories. "No. I stayed for the rest of the day, and… after dark, he took me home to my parents."

"How very interesting." Taking her hand back, the long sleeves of her kimono dragging against the floor, Tomoe looked away this time. "I see that he does have some potential left. I was nearly certain he had been consumed."

"Consumed? By what?"

The smile returned to her face with Kaoru's curiosity, and Tomoe closed her eyes, tilting her head as if to nudge aside the topic. "It is nice to finally have someone to talk to, Kaoru-chan. I have had no one speak with me besides Lord Himura for several hundred centuries, and his conversations are never considered polite."

"Can you not leave this building?" Jumping eagerly into the question, Kaoru tried not to let her excitement overwhelm her. She wanted to know just who this woman was; to Kenshin, especially.

"No, young one. I cannot leave the boundaries of this shrine."

"Why not?"

"Well, my fragrant girl, to be perfectly honest, it is because, unlike every other entity you have met here, I am not truly of this world."

"You mean… you're not alive?"

"No, my body was sacrificed many centuries ago. I am but a shadow of my former self."

"Will you tell me what happened? How come you are stuck here?"

Taking a deep breath, Tomoe seemed amused by her audacity. "Perhaps another time, Kaoru-chan. I wish to speak of other matters. Tell me," Reaching up a hand, she lifted the sleeve of her oversized haori. "have you had any problems adjusting to life here with the lord and his servants?"

Shrugging, Kaoru was less interested in her own plight than she was in the lady's. "There have been a few fights, but everything's going good now."

"I hope Lord Himura hasn't been too hard on you. I do not think he was ever a social being to begin with, and a thousand years in isolation has not improved his handicap."

"We seem to have worked it out this past week, but… that's the second time you've called him Lord Himura. Is that his real name?"

"Has he not given you this name?" When Kaoru shook her head, Tomoe's expression turned thoughtful, her eyes lowering to the side in contemplation. "That is also interesting. Does that mean he feels ashamed of it?" Her voice whispered, as if she were talking to herself. Kaoru stayed silent, watching the small flits of thought touch minutely at the mask on her face. When dark eyes finally looked at her again, she was once more smiling. "Forgive me, Himura is a surname of the nobles that rule over this palace and lands. It is, in truth, his real name, but if Kenshin is the name he gave for you to address him, then that is the name you should continue to use."

"Okay." Shrugging this information off carelessly, Kaoru thought nothing of the reason he would not wish to give it to her. "I just recently talked him into letting me call him Kenshin without a title anyway. Using Himura now would be weird."

Tomoe chuckled in amusement. "It seems you are getting along just fine then, if he is so lenient in his protocol." _Things are going wonderfully since I last spoke with Lord Himura. There may still be enough time for him to learn._ Blue eyes were once again studying the tree, and Tomoe anticipated her next question with a smile.

"I don't remember the tree being this bare, Tomoe-dono. Why are there only two blossoms, and how is it that they are made of glass?"

"The others have fallen, Kaoru-chan." Pointing to the ground surrounding the base, she brought the layer of pink dust to the girl's attention. "This is what has happened to them." The coating was quite thick, indicating the amount of petals that used to be present on the tree's branches. "Over time their attachment to the whole weakens, like with any blossom, and they fall to the ground to meet their demise. It is actually quite beautiful, and tragic."

Leaning over the ledge of the walkway, Kaoru peered down at the cherry particles, delighted as they sparkled and glittered like thousands of tiny stars. "I remember you telling me… that the one I had picked was not meant to fall for many years. Just how long has this tree been here?" Looking back up at Tomoe, her brows curled. "As long as the rest of the palace?"

"It is not as old as the palace itself, but… it has been here for a thousand years. For as long as Lord Himura and the others have stopped aging, and for as long as I have been trapped inside this shrine." Pausing for a second as she watched different conclusions click together in Kaoru's mind, she took a small breath. "It is the very heart of the curse that has been placed upon this palace. Its petals mark the time."

Blue eyes widened. "One of the hyena in the forest said something about a curse to me, but… no one else has said anything. Are you saying that this tree… and its petals…?" Dark eyebrows drew together, and a multitude of emotions tugged upon her features; fear, compassion, sadness, anger, love. Glancing once more at the few remaining petals still undamaged, she settled upon sadness. "What happens when the time runs out?"

"Nothing will happen, Kaoru-chan." Confusion battled with a doubtful relief. "Absolutely nothing. Everyone will stay as they are, and live on, without aging, without sickening, and will watch as the world outside goes on without them."

The small glimpse of anger from before contorted her lips. "Who would place such an awful curse upon such wonderful people?" Jerking her head down and to the side, she fought the sudden prick of tears. "Poor Tsubame and Yahiko, they will never age beyond their ten year old bodies, never have the wedding she is only just now happily planning, never be allowed to show the love they both feel. And Misao, Aoshi, Megumi, Sano, Tae, Katsu, even Saitou and his family. It's so unfair. What could they ever have done to deserve this?"

Tomoe stayed silent, passively watching the range of emotions plainly show themselves through the sensitive girl next to her. There was such a loving heart within her seventeen year old body, and it hurt deep inside to be near her innocence and purity. "I notice you did not include Lord Himura's name in your list. Does that mean you feel no similar sympathy for him?"

Caught off guard, Kaoru leaned slightly back. "Well, I… his situation's different."

"You do not think it would be just as hard for him to show love to another in his current form? Do you not think it would be hard for him to find love at all, when the very sight of him would frighten or horrify most?"

"I don't see what there is to be frightened of?" Perfectly honest, Kaoru tilted her head, disbelieving. "Kenshin is absolutely wonderful. I mean, it takes a little while to get past all of his haughty airs and suspicious walls, but he has a nice sense of humor, and his noble upbringing comes out sounding rather sweet sometimes. I don't think it would take much at all for someone to get used to him and find out that there is a genuinely nice guy underneath that prickly nature of his. And he's actually better off than everyone else, I think, because, well… at least his form is mostly human still, and…" Tearing at the bandage wrapped around her left hand, she fought the urge to blush. "if he ever did find someone to love, he could at least hold them. That's more than everyone else can do."

Tomoe looked away across the room, thinking over the compassionate words she spoke.

"Even you, Tomoe-dono." Black eyes shot back to her sharply. "You may still have your true form, but whoever has done this terrible deed has trapped you here, forever. You cannot even leave this room to find someone to love, or someone you have loved, or even pass on to the next life. You must be… suffering greatly." Once again her sapphire irises ducked hers.

"Perhaps I deserve my punishment, young one." Instantly denying the idea, Kaoru placed a hand over her own ice cold appendage. "Perhaps you should feel no pity for me whatsoever."

"But that can't be true at all…"

"Kaoru-dono." Jumping at the sudden command in a voice she had softened, Kaoru peeked around the woman to find Kenshin standing in the doorway. "Come here."

"But, I was only…"

"Now."

_Oh yeah… I'm not supposed to be in here._ A hint of wariness dug deep inside her gut, and she wondered briefly why he would give such an order to everyone when there was only Tomoe inside. _And the tree, I suppose. Yeah, the tree must be the real reason._

"Do as he says, young one."

Glancing back to Tomoe hesitantly, she nodded, and stood quickly to her feet. "Goodnight, Tomoe-dono." A regal bow of her head acknowledged and answered her farewell, and then Kaoru was hurrying to obey the darkening wrath in amber eyes. Stealing a quick look up at him as she passed through the door, she was surprised by the intensity he was staring down the woman still present within. _Kenshin does not like her. I wonder why._

As soon as she was clear, the door slid shut, and they were alone on the steps, the snow still falling gently from the heavens. Feeling like a child waiting for her scolding, Kaoru twisted her hands together and hunched her shoulders. There really wasn't any way she could argue her way out of this one. She had been where she should not, and though she did not know the reason, it had been made clear on her first day that she should not go inside the shrine.

"I'm sorry, but I saw a glow and then the door was open and I thought someone had gone inside and I got curious and…"

"Where are your sandals?"

Twitching in expectation of something more scathing, Kaoru froze and stuttered. "Uh…" Question sinking in, she bit her lip on a helpless sigh. "I forgot them." Surprisingly, he sighed as well.

"Kaoru-dono, you will catch your death of cold if you keep doing this."

"I know." Peering sideways at him as he stood next to her, she relaxed at finding none of the anger she had seen only seconds before. His features, though, were somehow… sad. Licking her lips nervously, she faced him a little more head on, venturing her next statement into the silence. "I remember." A mild breeze played with the strands of his bangs, giving her a glimpse of red lashes closing over golden eyes. "Actually I've been remembering bits and pieces over the past week." Straining her neck to look down, she slid the bauble hanging from her necklace back and forth, the scrape of metal on metal somehow soothing. "I've been wanting to ask you, but I wasn't sure if… my memories were real or imagined."

"You were… very young, Kaoru-dono. I am surprised you have remembered now."

"I didn't want to forget." Eager and forceful at the same time, she tossed her arms out to the side, almost as if she were trying to convince him. "I wanted to remember, but it was only one day and I never got to come back and Father never sent me and you never came and…" Sucking in a shaky breath, she looked down, her brows curled. "Everything would have been so much different if Father had brought me to you. I remember how excited I was for weeks, how Mother encouraged my happiness, but then she got sick and… everything fell apart." Tone turning bitter, Kaoru shut her own eyes. "If Mother was still alive, she would have let me come. Father was just scared… like all the others."

"Your father was trying to protect you, in the only way he knew how." Such understanding on his part shocked her, disbelieving that it was he who would defend her father. "Do not fault your father for the love he has for his only daughter."

Resentment leaving as quickly as it had built, Kaoru's tense muscles loosened. "I know. I do understand, but… I feel like… I missed out on a lot of moments. With everyone… with you."

"In some ways I feel that same regret. All of those moments would have made us different people, made us see each other differently than we do now. So in other ways…" Swallowing, he turned his head completely away. "I am not regretful."

Smiling slowly as she watched the uncomfortable way he tried to hide from her and the unguarded words he spoke, she realized how true they were. "You're right, Kenshin. We're doing alright, aren't we? I mean, at least we're communicating better than we were."

"If you say so." Turning to look pointedly back at the shrine, she blushed at the implication.

"I said I was sorry, and anyhow, I don't understand what the big deal is. Tomoe-dono said she was lonely without anyone to talk to, and you aren't nice to her, though I don't understand that either."

Taking a steady breath, he voiced his words carefully. "It is a mutual understanding that we do not like one another. If I have hate for her, know that that hate is returned."

"Does it have something to do with the curse she was talking about?" Crossing her arms thoughtfully, she missed the critical assessment of his gaze. "I don't think that's very fair of either of you to blame it on the other, if that's what's going on."

"Our fight should not concern you, Kaoru-dono. It is a personal matter between her and I. Come." Waving a hand, he stepped closer. "You said so yourself you were tired over an hour ago, and you do not need to be out in this cold."

_Ok, so the curse is off limits. _Chewing her lip and trying to steady her drumming heart, she wondered how she had dredged up the nerve to bring it up in the first place. Sure Kenshin and herself were getting along much better, but there were still many things about him that scared her just a little. She was still learning her boundaries in their new relationship. Biting at an old scar inside her cheek, she moved to step down the stairs, but was detained by the arm.

"If it would be alright, I do not want you walking any further through the snow without appropriate protection for your feet."

Lifting a brow, Kaoru leaned back. "Well that's fine and all, but what do you expect me to do about it out here?"

"I meant, Kaoru-dono, that you will not be walking."

She blinked as she digested what it was he was suggesting, and he stood patiently waiting for her to agree. This was another one of those moments when she could clearly pick out the courtly manners that were ingrained into his being. It was apparent he was going to carry her no matter what she said, but he was giving her time to deny him if she wanted. It also gave her enough of a warning to understand what he was going to do so as not to startle her inappropriately.

"Well alright then."

Nodding his head once, he wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders, then bent to hook the other under her knees. He lifted her without any show of effort, and stepped down into the snow in his own bare feet. Just a bit uncertain, Kaoru pressed both hands into her chest, not knowing whether it would help if she held onto his neck or not. He seemed fine carrying her as she was, so she chewed her lip harder and stared at the patterns in the scales running along his collarbones.

As nervous as she was, she didn't think to break the quiet, but instead tried to find other ways to distract from her situation. When his scales ceased to entertain, she moved her attention to the snow piling up on her stomach, fascinated with the miniature drift that collected in the crevice where her side met his chest. Cold seeping through her clothing, she shivered, and then realized abruptly that the trembling vibrating her body was not from her own muscles.

Attention returning to his scales, she traced his sternum up to the tendons in his neck, surprised by how tight they were and the way they quivered. Hand reaching, she flattened the entire width of her fingers across his neck, unthinking of how cold they were, and he shivered harder.

"Kenshin! You're freezing!"

"I will be alright, my lady."

"You've been so worried about me catching a cold in my socks! You're only wearing a pair of hakama!" _And you didn't think a thing about it, either, you idiot!_

"I cannot get sick."

Vaguely remembering Tomoe saying something along those same lines, she pouted. "But you're still cold. Aren't you uncomfortable?"

Huffing out an amused breath, he shook his head at her insistence. "Yes, Kaoru-dono. Winter is always uncomfortable." Stepping up onto the veranda, he sat her down, walking beside her as they navigated their way back to her pavilion.

"Then you should think about wearing something more appropriate, don't you think? So you don't get cold?"

Considering her thoughtfully, his eyes strayed over her own attire, the men's clothes she continued to wear. "Why should it matter if I am comfortable, Kaoru-dono? I have weathered out many winters this way."

"Well I don't like it. You shouldn't be subjecting yourself to such extreme temperatures in only pants, even if you can't get sick. Besides, I thought you were supposed to be the master around here. Isn't it improper for you to be running around topless?"

Grin looking decidedly mischievous, he shrugged nonchalantly. "You seem to do just fine in your improper attire, Kaoru-dono. I think I will follow your lead on this matter." Jaw hanging slack, Kaoru stopped dead in her tracks and stared at his wings as he walked a few steps further than she. Turning questioningly, his face was suitably concerned. "Is everything alright, Kaoru-dono?"

Pursing her lips, she crossed her arms and sniffed. "I think, my lord, you have been picking up bad habits from a poor influence."

"Now, lady, don't be sore that I have beat you at your own game."

"Ha!" Punching him playfully in the shoulder, she ignored his flinch and walked on ahead. "Who say's I've lost anything?" Facing him in front of the door to her pavilion, Kaoru grinned broadly, Kenshin rubbing a hand over his shoulder. "I'm glad I've remembered, Kenshin, it makes me feel better about being here." As she pulled open the tsumado behind her, he nodded noncommittally. "Oh, and, at least grab an extra blanket to sleep with." Shaking her head, she ducked halfway through the opening, and mumbled to herself. "I can't sleep when I'm cold. Goodnight, Kenshin." Waving a hand through the crack, the doors closed and Kenshin was alone.

Sighing, he turned towards his own pavilion. _An extra blanket couldn't hurt I suppose._

X

A/N: So, Kaoru doesn't understand just yet what Tomoe has to do with all of this, and since she's not telling and neither is Kenshin… she'll just have to wait. More sweetness between our two, and next chapter might have more compromises. Not much to say here, but there is more to come. Oh yes, much more. Mwahahaha. Anyway, hope that you like, and please leave me a review. They brighten up my day!


	17. Sewing and Ice Cream

I'm glad everyone is still liking this story. I'm having so much fun with it, and I really love how sweet I get to make everyone, with my side dash of dangerous under the surface. I had the best compliment over this story, and you don't know how happy it made me. I love Beauty and the Beast, and just knowing that someone actually watched the movie and was disappointed because it wasn't like mine… oh sweet ecstasy, lol. Anyway, here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I'm not particularly good at sewing, but I can crochet, and I love ice cream.

**Chapter 17: Sewing and Ice Cream**

A twinge of pain shot up Kenshin's leg and he shifted his weight to try and relieve it. Sighing, he frowned, leaned onto the table and shot a brief look at the empty cushion next to him. Kaoru was late for breakfast. It was a strange occurrence, because Kaoru loved breakfast, and he would have already gone to check on her if she hadn't sent someone to apologize for her tardiness. That was another strange occurrence on its own. Kaoru never used the servants in ways they were meant to be used, she did most of everything herself.

Rolling his shoulders, he twisted his neck, trying to relieve some of the soreness sleep always brought. This morning, however, was just a few aches worse for the blanket he had draped over his shoulders as she had asked. It had been nice being warmer, but the weight pulled at his joints and he was suffering from a major sore neck. Of course, he didn't think she understood that sleeping for him was not an easy matter, more because he couldn't lie down. Not comfortably, anyway. After waking a few times with his wings bent in awkward positions, and feeling as if he had broken them, he had stopped sleeping on a futon.

Rubbing at his back with one hand, his thoughts returned to the night before. Kaoru had been to the shrine. There was no way of knowing what that witch had said to her, but she did apparently know about the curse. From the way Kaoru had spoken of it, however, she knew little. In a way it grated on him that she would go against his request to stay away from the shrine, but a part of him had known it was only a matter of time. The witch herself had said he could not keep Kaoru away forever, and that her eventual presence there was inevitable. His only consolation for this venture was that Kaoru acted no differently toward him afterward than she had before. Which made him wonder if anything had been said at all.

For surely Kaoru would despise him if she knew half of what his past entailed. With her gentle heart and kind nature, there was every guarantee that she would turn away from him. Even if, during that time, he had thought his actions justified and required, in hindsight, with _her_ sight, he could clearly see every wrong action he had ever committed in the name of his father. Just the very reason for the curse itself would be enough to horrify her. He never wished more than at that moment that he had been killed as punishment and not made to be here.

_An easy way out… and I would not have met her. Of course, if I were dead now, I would not regret what I never knew… and she would have a normal life, with a normal family, in a normal village._

The shoji slid open and he turned automatically to greet her.

_But you would have never seen this._

The sudden flush of color against the snow backdrop was startling, causing him to blink as he tried to focus on the woman standing in the doorway. The multiple layers of clothing contrasted in that perfection all ladies of court strove towards; starting at white by the throat, and building in compliment to the season outside. The outer layer of the kimono was white as well, a scattering of plum blossoms decorating the silk, and different designs, patterns, and shades of red, purple, and white constituted the many inner kimono all the way down to the large red hakama that was worn underneath to cover her feet.

When his eyes finally looked up to meet hers he found her blushing, her features pulled into an expression of wry embarrassment. Nothing came to his mind to say, and he merely watched as she took a step forward, overbalanced, and had to grab the door jam to keep from falling.

"Well I don't know how anyone was expected to move in these things!" Straightening herself, her mood turned petulant as her embarrassment heightened.

Rubbing at his face to hide his laughter, he stood to lend her a hand. "I'm sure it took a lot of practice, Kaoru-dono."

Huffing, she wrapped two hands around his forearm, and let him lead her to her cushion. "Or shorter strides, which I don't do." Left hand sliding down to clutch around his fingers for support, she carefully tried to situate herself into a kneeling position. When she looked up with a smile and a thanks, she blushed at realizing they were holding hands.

Warmth was now present in his dark golden eyes, and the curl of his own fingers was gentle. "I am partial to your hair in this way."

Blushing harder, she self-consciously smoothed the loose strands. "I get all dressed up and you compliment me on my hair?"

Chuckling, his hand released hers and he seated himself at the head of the table. "Of course you look beautiful in the kimono, Kaoru-dono. The court ladies of the emperor himself would be jealous for weeks that you naturally pull off a look they strive hours to achieve." Lifting one arm in a courtly fashion, he bowed his head, and she did not miss the slight smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Huh…" Disbelieving, Kaoru lifted an eyebrow. "if you're going to be an ass about it, you just see if I ever do this again."

Unable to keep himself from laughing, his amusement rose when she jerked her head to the side and stuck her nose in the air, clearly not pleased. "Do not pout, Kaoru-dono, I meant what I said. You have a natural beauty that needs no makeup to enhance, and I find it very refreshing to see a lady that has not shaved her eyebrows or blackened her teeth to follow a fashion of beauty someone else has set."

"What?" Completely distracted from her irritation, Kaoru's face contorted into disgust as she looked at him for clarity. "All the ladies blackened their teeth? That's gross!"

Nodding, his smile became less of an insinuation that he was laughing at her, and more as if he were laughing with her. "I had always thought the same way. Even my mother did, though only if she were required to greet guests and be in the company of someone outside of our family."

"I don't think I could have done that. They would have had to throw me out of the court circles for being disobedient or something, 'cause that's just nasty. Shave my eyebrows? Maybe. Blacken my teeth? Never."

"I do not think you would have had to worry too much, Kaoru-dono. You would have been a part of the warrior class. They were given more allowances when it came to appearance than others. Not many, but a few."

"Such as?" Interested now, Kaoru didn't even pay attention to the servers as their meal was set out, remembering the beginning of a conversation they had started the night before.

"Well, unless you were trying to blend in with the court ladies, or were expected at the emperor's court, I'm sure you wouldn't have been required to wear something as confining as the juni-hitoe. Wearing your face bare would have been scandalous, but as a warrior maiden, everyone would have been too scared to say anything against you. Your rank would have demanded a respect that was above such appearances."

"Have you ever met a lady warrior?"

"I have seen a few in court." Shrugging, he picked up his chopsticks. "I must admit, they were very manly, and more often than not, it was hard to pick out that they were in fact women at all. Most mistook them for men, since they dressed as the men did."

A piece of fish slipped from her chopsticks and she stared at him in abrupt dismay. "Do I look like a man when I wear my training clothes? Is that why you do not like that I wear them?"

Blinking, his features curled in confusion. "What gave you such an idea?"

Becoming angry that he did not immediately understand, she waved her chopsticks at him. "You just said that all the lady warriors you have met looked like men because they wore men's clothes. I wear men's clothes and I practice swordsmanship, so…"

"You have misunderstood." Catching up quickly, he spoke over her to keep the situation from blowing out of proportion. "Their clothing is not what made them look like men, though it did not help them either. You are the first woman I have met that wields a sword and still retains a…" Cutting off abruptly as he realized how inappropriate this conversation was turning out to be, he jerked his head down to concentrate on his food. "If I do not like you wearing your training clothes for anything other than training, Kaoru-dono, it is because I find them improper." Nervously squeaking his chopsticks together, he avoided the interest in her gaze. "A lady's kimono covers a lady as she needs to be."

_Covers a… oh._ Looking down at her chest, she blinked and then looked back up to the wall across from her. Clearly she could remember his reaction to her men's clothes the first day she had worn them, the way his eyes had frowned in disapproval. _I guess they do show a large portion of my breast bindings._ Blushing, she chewed her lip and unconsciously mimicked his own habit of hiding behind her unbound hair. _I've never had to worry about how suggestive it must look. Getting older really has its downsides._ "Right. I'll… keep that in mind." He sighed, shoulders slumping in relief, and she wondered just how uncomfortable that little detail had made him the past couple months.

The end of breakfast came slowly, and Kaoru found herself on the verge of overheating. She wasn't used to wearing so many layers of clothing, and since Misao had explained that this set was a winter juni-hitoe, it had more layers than a summer. Kaoru was feeling every one of them, and with her long hair laying against her neck and back, there was no part of her body that was uncovered enough to cool her down. Standing unsteadily to her feet, she blinked at the worried look Kenshin gave her, and waved her hand demandingly for help.

"Is everything alright, my lady?" On his feet quickly, his hands engulfed her one, his claws tickling her wrist. Feeling just a touch lightheaded, she giggled.

"I'm fine, it's just really hot in here Kenshin." Heading for the door, she dragged him along behind her. "Let's take a short walk. I need to cool off." Out the door, she turned towards the south, her mind focused on the large courtyard and now frozen pond. The open pavilion would be a perfect place to catch a breeze, and it was always nice getting to stare out over the distant ocean.

Kenshin gave her another side look as she flapped her hand at her face, her bangs ruffling in the false breeze she created. Her cheeks were red, and she was leaning quite a bit of her weight against his arm for support. _She must have twenty layers on, though, and I doubt it makes it easy to maneuver._

"You know, even though it's all one color… the snow makes everything so pretty." Trading off his arm for the waist high railing around the open pavilion, Kaoru leaned forward to stare back across the courtyard. All of the small trees and bushes and rocks were covered in a soft film of snow, glistening in the early morning sunshine.

"Yes it does." Standing behind her, he nearly felt normal again, staring at the formal dress of a court lady. Suddenly frowning, he looked away. That normalcy did not make him as happy as he had originally thought it would.

"Too bad it has to be so cold." Throwing a look over her shoulder, Kaoru grinned, and Kenshin felt suddenly wary. "You know… I thought about it for a long time last night and I have a few ideas that could help you out."

"Help me with what, Kaoru-dono?"

"Your clothes, idiot. It's obvious you can't wear anything besides your hakama because of your wings, right? Well… it would mean cutting some holes in your clothes, but you aren't doing anything with them anyway, right?"

"Cutting holes? Just what exactly do you have planned, Kaoru-dono?"

"Oh come on, I did what you wanted, didn't I?" Gesturing down at herself, Kaoru cocked an eyebrow. "Now it's your turn. You may not think it's enough trouble to make sure you don't freeze just 'cause you can't get sick, but I don't agree. You're too cold and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit." Pouting, she dropped her eyes to the floor between them.

"Alright, my lady. You do not need to get upset. You may do as you wish." Not sure if he was even more worried about her attitude, or amused that she was getting so worked up over something so small, he smiled. That smile was short lived.

"And I win."

"What?"

"You thought you had won last night, but it is clear now in the morning hours just who the victor really is, and that's me." Looking very pleased with herself, Kaoru leaned her hip into one of the posts and grinned like the imp she was.

"But…"

"Ah-ah, no buts. Now, do you have a seamstress under your employ? I will need help with the sewing since that is another feminine trait I failed to agree with."

X

Sae was a cute little grey squirrel, and had a chipper attitude to match. It came as a surprise to learn that she was actually Tae's sister, but Sae had laughed that off like she did most everything else.

"My sweet little sister, Tae, she's the most adorable little thing."

After everything came to light, it seemed Sae could sew as well as Tae could cook. Which was saying a lot, and Kaoru was excited to have someone on board with skill enough to hopefully pull off what she had in mind. Now sitting in the middle of Kenshin's pavilion with a pile of clothes in front of them and the frowning lord watching from a corner, they chatted happily away about the plan's positive and negative aspects.

"It shouldn't be too hard, milady, but I'm seeing a problem that will need to be taken care of first."

"Oh? What's that?" Holding up a shorter man's kimono that would be worn as an undergarment called a kosode, Kaoru peeked around the sleeve.

"Well, correct me if I am wrong, my lord, but you moved into the master's pavilion after…" Pausing nervously, she darted a side look at Kaoru and continued only when Kenshin waved a hand to proceed. "the old master died. Are these not… your father's clothes?" Blinking, Kaoru froze and then dropped the top she was holding as if it had burnt her fingers.

"That is right. If you are going to be cutting on anyone's clothing, I would prefer they not be my own."

"But, my lord…"

"That's a strange thing to say, Kenshin. Wouldn't you rather we not cut on your father's clothes because they used to belong to him?"

"They no longer belong to him, they belong to me, and I will do whatever I wish with them." The conversation was making him angry, so Kaoru dropped it.

Clearing her throat, Sae once again tried to explain what it was she had noticed. "Very well, my lord, but… your father was taller than you." If Kenshin could have blushed, Kaoru was sure he would have at that very moment.

"I am well aware of that."

Hating the way he was fighting off the embarrassment and distress of the situation, Kaoru wanted to ease his discomfort. "Well, I'm sure he couldn't have been that much taller. He was his father, after all. My father's not that much taller than me."

"No, Lord Kenshin took after his mother. His father was much taller than he is. In fact, out of all five of Master Izo's children, he was the shortest. Even Lady Yumi was taller than him." Excited to share, and smiling as she did it, Sae giggled. The mortification of seconds before turned quickly to annoyance on Kenshin's face.

"Five children? Did you have brothers and sisters, Kenshin?"

"Three brothers and one sister to be exact." Answering merrily for him, Sae continued without hesitation. "All older and taller than him. They all shared that pretty red hair too."

_His red hair is natural. Neat._ "What happened to them?"

"Obviously they are dead." Biting into the conversation, Kenshin glared at the seamstress. "That is enough from you. Do what you came here to do and be gone."

"Y-yes, my lord." Mood plummeting, Sae bowed her head in quick submission and apology. Kaoru opened her mouth to argue with Kenshin over his tone, but there was a sensitive look in his eyes that suggested the topic was as off limits as the curse was. "Here, my lady." A bundle of string was handed to her from out of a bag. "I will need to hem the clothing as well as make the adjustments you want, so I will need measurements. I will tell you what to do and catalogue the numbers."

"Oh, alright."

"M-my lord." Anxious now, Sae waved her front paw to the middle of the room. "Will you please stand here and let the lady take some measurements for me?" He didn't seem to be in a good mood anymore, but he still did as he was asked.

At first Kaoru wasn't sure how this was going to work, but after unrolling a good length of the string she discovered dark spots on its white surface in regular patterns. By counting these she could give Sae surprisingly accurate readings of Kenshin's size just about anywhere they needed. It was fun, to begin with, posing his arms out like a doll, but then she had to wrap the string around his chest and then from his shoulder to his hip; his hip to his feet. _This is more inappropriate than when I had to bandage his wounds!_

It only became fun again when it came to his wings. Seated on the floor, their leathery lengths spread to either side, she knelt behind him and carefully measured how big around the base of his wings were. After calling out her findings to Sae, she loosened the string and let it drop, then followed the temptation to stare. The thick skin stretched tightly between the boney structure, and was webbed with veins on closer inspection. It gave the red surface a patterned purple appearance that could only be seen at a short distance. Chewing on her lip, she lifted a hand to touch when Sae called out her next assignment.

"Now I need the distance between the base of his wings to his shoulders."

Jerking her hand back, she nodded. "Alright." Unfortunately, all of his unbound hair was in the way of that, so she sat a little straighter, paused, and gathered it all to release over the front of his shoulder. Only his tail twitched in reaction, catching her attention briefly to stare at the tuft of hair at its tip as it brushed his crossed legs, before she returned her gaze to his now bare back.

Except it still wasn't very bare, even besides the scales covering nearly every inch of his skin. Smiling, her eyes traveled down the ridge of his spine, or where it should have been. It couldn't be seen underneath the row of flattened hair that covered it all the way down to where it disappeared underneath his hakama. Surprised and somehow delighted, Kaoru fluffed a portion between his wings, the length slipping from her fingers quickly. It was short, like a Mohawk, and it reminded her of some of the interpretive paintings she had seen of dragons.

"I am well aware of its presence, my lady."

"Uh…" Taking her hand away, Kaoru shot her eyes to the back of his head.

"I apologize if you find it… disturbing."

"Disturbing?"

"Though I suppose most of my appearance could be found disturbing."

Frowning, she threw a side glance at Sae to see if she would be of any help, and her frown deepened when the squirrel ducked her head. Huffing out a breath, she smacked her palm flat into the back of his skull. "Don't be such an idiot. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and I'm not going to deal with you feeling sorry for yourself. I mean, having wings is obviously a pain, since you haven't been able to wear proper clothes, but you can fly with them, right? And your claws make it difficult to do some things, but they helped us out on the cliff. Your scales helped too. Without them you'd have much worse looking wounds on your arm and leg. Everybody has things they do and don't like about themselves, but that's just life. Like I'm sure this itches, doesn't it?" Indicating the line of hair, Kaoru rubbed her nails lightly between his shoulder blades.

"Hmm." Finding himself relaxing with her words, and the soft scrape of her nails, he grudgingly had to agree with what she said. Shrugging, he lifted a hand to the horns on his head. "Actually, these itch more than anything."

"Oh?" Adjusting her weight to her knees, she reached for both of the small golden horns, scratching her nails around the base of their hard surface. Moving around as if she were scratching the ears of a cat, she jumped when the wings on either side of her twitched. First one, then the other. Smiling, she dug her nails in just a little harder and watched both wings tremble and then flop to the floor with a thump. Giggling, she scratched for a few more moments before sitting back. "That was fun."

"Alright, alright, enough playing." Clearly amused, and no longer upset, Sae shook her head. "I need the rest of those measurements so I can get to work. I'm sure the lord would appreciate his new clothes before the end of winter."

"Yes, ma'am." Still laughing, Kaoru pulled the string tight and placed the end at his shoulder. A quick look showed a pleased smile on his face, and she bit her lip to quiet her laughter at his closed eyes.

Finished with the string, Kaoru rewound it into a ball and stuffed it back into the bag. "By the way, Sae-san, do you know what Tae's special dessert is? She promised to make it sometime this past week and I haven't heard anything about it yet."

"Oh sure, it's ice cream."

"Really?" Excited, Kaoru leaned forward. "I think I've heard of ice cream before. How does she make it?"

"She uses the snow." Suddenly secretive, Sae looked around as if there was someone else listening besides just the lord. Scampering up to the side of Kaoru's layered kimono, Sae stood on her hind legs. "She actually already has quite a bit ready, but she's waiting until she has enough made to give to everyone, plus…" Giggling, Sae ducked her head briefly. "she's waiting for the end of this week."

"What's at the end of this week?"

"Someone's birthday, and she's planning a surprise party for him."

Gasping, Kaoru leaned down, her hand covering her mouth. "Is it for Katsu?"

Gasping back, Sae placed both hands over her mouth. "How did you know?"

"Why would my cook be planning a surprise party for the court painter?" At a loss, Kenshin tilted his head with a confused frown.

"Oh really, Kenshin, don't you pay attention to anything around here? Tae and Katsu are sweet on each other." The confusion left his face, and he sighed instead, completely uninterested.

"Well, they're trying to be sweet on each other anyway." Sighing despondently, Sae shook her head. "My little sister is such a traditional idiot. She keeps insisting on waiting for him to make all the moves, and that spineless lemur is a wreck every time he gets around her. It's no wonder they've been like this for a thousand years. Neither of them have the guts to go through with anything. I'm surprised my little sister is even throwing this party at all."

"Well I think it's wonderful. Come on, let's get these clothes done before then. I want Kenshin fully dressed for the party. I think it'll be a nice touch." Reaching for the clothes again, she felt her body sway. She was still wearing the multiple layered kimono, and even after cooling off outside she was still feeling really hot.

"My lady? Are you alright? My lady?" Trying to nod her head, Kaoru steadied then shook herself to banish the blurring of her vision. "My lord, her cheeks are flushed." Kenshin was next to her, and she smiled widely at the worry on his face. He frowned back. Pouting, she waved a hand at him.

"I thought we were past the frowns, Kenshin? I don't like them." Punctuating the last four words with pats on his cheek, she giggled, overbalanced, and leaned against him.

Forehead twitching, Kenshin fought against wanting to do as she asked and concern. "I apologize, Kaoru-dono, but I do not think you are well." Touching his hand lightly to her skin, the frown won. "She is burning up. Go call the physician." Sae nodded and took off out the door. Sighing, Kenshin smoothed the hair off her face, angry with himself for not noticing that the strands were sticky with sweat. "Idiot woman. How long have you had a fever?"

"I woke up this morning a little warm, but… I thought it was because I was still in bed. Beds are always nice and warm when you have to get out of them." Voice slightly sleepy, Kaoru yawned and tried to sit up. "It's probably just a small fever, Kenshin. Nothing to worry about. I don't ever stay sick long."

"It had better be a small fever. If you catch something worse because of your stupid adventures through the snow in your socks, I will not be happy."

Grinning, Kaoru giggled. "Yes, my lord."

X

A/N: I didn't plan on making Kaoru get sick, but she was running around in the snow in her socks, and it seemed a bit inevitable. It's not a big thing, though. Anyway, seems Kaoru is getting Kenshin into some clothes, and she's learned a bit about his family. I've been trying to decide how best to introduce the full extent of his background, and I hope it is coming off ok. I'm starting to feel as if their relationship is taking a bit too much precedence, even though it needs to, that's why I'm trying to fill in with some of the other characters a bit more until I can advance them along enough to get to the parts I have planned for them. Yipee! Ok, so leave a review, and next chapter, Kenshin gets dressed, we have a party, and then a sad revelation.

Oh, and Yumi was Kenshin's older sister! Ah! Does anyone know what that means?


	18. Paintings Full of Longing

Well, it just means that Shishio was his brother-in-law, as everyone probably guessed… but, Shishio is never a quiet character, now is he? -evil laugh-

Disclaimer: I can paint a little, but I draw much better. That doesn't mean he's mine.

**Chapter 18: Paintings Full of Longing**

"This was almost ridiculous, Kenshin. I can't believe the men wore this many layers of clothes, too. Pore Sae has sore fingers now, and I even left out that stupid over-tunic thing." Golden eyes shot a look at her over his shoulder, and she made a face, her hand going to her hip. "It was completely stupid, and I would laugh at you if I ever saw you wearing it. I'm not going to even mention that hat Sae showed me." Shrugging, she picked up the ribbon she had dropped to get her point across. "The shoes were pretty cool, but I wouldn't ever wear them either. They look like something you would display for decoration or something."

Kenshin snorted softly, and Kaoru giggled. It was amusing now, realizing how big of a difference there was between the age he had grown up in and hers. The clothes had similarities, but Kaoru would choose her father's clothes over Kenshin's any day of the week. For one thing, there were three layers to the kimono, not counting the over tunic she had discarded, and while that wasn't quite so bad, the hakama had two layers by itself too. The undergarment was plain and comfortable, but the outer one was a six panel hakama that, she had learned, was made to crease in a specific pattern to show rank. They even tied off at the ankle to make them balloon out, which was a comical picture to imagine, and Kaoru was thankful Kenshin preferred not to do that.

Now sitting behind him, Kaoru was fitting the last layer of kimono on him to make sure he would be comfortable wearing all of them at one time. It had been a simple idea, really, nothing fancy, but it had still required an expert hand to pull it off. Sae was such a genius with a needle. After hemming all of the clothing, they had made marks on the backs of the kimono to accurately cut out a square flap from the collar to the exact length where the bottom of the base of his wings were. Then they made a hole for his wings, hemmed that, and then attached small loops on the underside to lace up the rest of the kimono back to the collar, effectively creating a kimono for Kenshin to wear. Of course, the only draw back was, he could not get in or out of his kimono without some kind of help. A small issue, Kaoru thought, since wearing the clothes was going to keep him warm.

Now lacing up the second incision above his right wing, she bowed the tie and tucked it under the collar so that the ends would not show. Patting him between the shoulder blades, she stood to back up a few steps. "Ok, try it out." Obediently his wings stretched, searching for any position that would pull or hamper their movement in any way.

"It fits well, Kaoru-dono."

"Great. Now, here's the hakama. I'll wait outside while you try them on."

"It is too cold for that, Kaoru-dono, and you were just recently sick. Stay here where it is warm. I will go in here." Gathering up the two hakama folded neatly in her arms, he retreated to the smaller room within his quarters, the doors closing firmly between them.

Smiling, Kaoru smoothed a hand over the haori she was once again wearing, her mother's kimono covering her underneath that. The fever had only lasted a day and a night, and no other symptoms of illness had plagued her, but she had to admit it was the most interesting sickness she had ever contracted. At home her mother would have been the one to pamper her, a role her father had taken up after her death, but as she had told Kenshin, she was hardly ever sick, and when she was it never lasted long. So seeing Kenshin react with such anxiety was amusing, and nearly cute. It had definitely attracted the attention of his servants.

Megumi had looked at her and confirmed the presence of a fever, gave her something to bring her temperature down, and then left it at that. After stripping off the court kimono and wrapping herself in a soft yukata, she had been confined to bed rest, where she had slept for much of the day. Around early evening, she had found herself with a tray of soup, a pot of soothing tea, and a wet cloth dipped in cool water. Tae had served the soup and tea, but the master himself had sat on her other side with the cloth and water, and there he had stayed until she had once more fallen asleep.

In the morning she was informed by Misao that she should not fear for her reputation, because the weasel had made sure she was always in the room when the master was, too. An insistence Kenshin himself had required. Another formality she would have never really given a second thought to. What difference would that make when she was already going to be staying there forever and no one else besides the servants would even know that their master had been in the room of an innocent woman? Really, he was just too sweet sometimes.

"_Lord Kenshin did everything himself, my lady. He carried the trays of food, and collected the snow to melt for the water, and barely left your side afterwards. It was really cute, my lady. He wouldn't stop asking why you were sleeping so much and if it was normal. I don't think he even remembers what it's like to be sick. Of course… Lady Kinuko slept so much near the end… I bet it kind of scared him."_

Sighing, Kaoru knelt back down by a small bag she had brought with her, rummaging through its contents. It was easy to forget that his own mother had died young, and it made her feel bad about being sick and worrying him. Such life changing memories were not kind, and it made her sad to think her own thoughtlessness might have brought about their return.

Slowly the door opened, and Kaoru automatically looked up, watching as Kenshin stepped back into the room. Nervously, almost reassuringly, his hand flattened over his chest, smoothing out the fabric of his kimono. The under layer was pure white, a stark contrast to the red of his throat and the partial area of his sternum that showed. The second layer was a dark purple, like eggplant, and the outermost layer was yellow, a color that matched the tint of his eyes and horns. Swirling patterns in straight black created a pleasing design within the golden hue, and matched perfectly with his new pleated hakama.

Smiling, Kaoru nodded. "You look good all dressed up, Kenshin."

A frown pulled at his features as he rotated his shoulders. "It feels strange wearing a kimono again."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Now come here." Smacking the floor in front of her, she motioned for him to sit down. "It's about time we do something about that hair."

"What is wrong with my hair?" Hesitantly doing as she asked, he gave her his back reluctantly.

"Nothing is wrong with your hair, Kenshin, I just don't know how you fly with it loose like that. I'd think you would pull parts of it out by getting it caught in your wings."

"Only a few strands." Petulant, his voice mumbled, and his wings slumped with his shoulders as if waiting for something undesirable but necessary. Shaking her head, she unearthed the comb she had brought with her and began gathering all of his hair together at the back of his neck. The first couple of snags produced growls from his throat, but soon the comb was traveling cleanly through his locks and the muscles in his back were slowly relaxing. When she finally stopped his head jerked up as if he were trying to keep awake. Laughing softly, she parted the thick strands into three and deftly wound it into a tight braid.

"Alright, all done." Knotting the tie, she dropped the braid, and put away the comb. "Does it feel alright?" Shrugging, he seemed indifferent, and she rolled her eyes. "Well, anyway, Sae's still working on the other set of clothes, so this set will have to be enough for the time being. Just in time, too, since Katsu's surprise party is tonight. This is going to be so fun."

Kenshin looked over his shoulder at Kaoru, her lips smiling at nothing. It took little to make her smile, and yet he liked every one of them. Especially when she was smiling at him. Sometimes, it tickled an angry feeling inside of his chest when she smiled at or because of another.

"Do your feet get really cold, Kenshin?" Blinking, his eyes focused back on her face. "If they do, we could wrap them or something…" Frowning in contemplation, he could practically see the wheels turning in her mind.

"I am much warmer now, Kaoru-dono, and in fact, warmer than I am used to. Wrapping my feet, I feel, would be overkill. Do not worry, I will be fine."

"If you say so." Skeptical, she agreed, but only, he was sure, because she couldn't figure out a solution to the problem. Studying him back, she suddenly grinned. "You know, Kenshin, I kinda like your hair this way." There was a teasing note to her voice that suggested she was getting him back for the comment he had made the other day. "I can see more of your face without all those loose hairs getting in the way. You really do have a good face, I don't know why you were hiding it."

"Perhaps because it is disfigured." The nasty sarcasm in his tone did not trip her up in the least.

"Oh come on, your scar's not that bad." Deliberately misinterpreting his meaning, she touched three fingers to the crossed scar indenting the scales on his left cheek. Slowly his head tilted away from her and she let her touch slide off to his shoulder. "I think it makes you look kind of roguish, and I bet you have quite the war story to go along with it."

"You make it sound impressive, Kaoru-dono." Bitterness tainted his voice now. "If you knew the truth of anything I am sure you would not feel so kind."

"Don't be silly, Kenshin." Voice low and gentle, she dropped her hand back to her lap. "I've heard some of the stories about the master that used to live here. I'm not completely ignorant." Turning to halfway face her, his wide golden eyes seemed nearly wild; with fear or danger she couldn't tell. "He died in a war, right? So that means you fought with him." Looking at her lap, her next words were a little forced. "I realize that… you've had to kill people, but that doesn't change anything." Smiling happily, she placed a hand back on his shoulder and leaned forward to share her next statement softly. "I don't know if you realize this, but you're a nice person, and I really like you. You just need to loosen up a bit." Relaxing with her words of reassurance and confession, a small smile touched his lips. Glad that he was once more calmed, Kaoru brushed a hand over the wrinkles in the back of his shirt.

A sudden thought came to her and she tilted her head and spoke without thinking; a habit she was developing now that they were more comfortable with each other. "Did your brothers die in the war, too, Kenshin? Is that why you are here by yourself? I mean, you were the youngest, right? So doesn't that mean you would have been the last to inherit your father's lands?"

Anger returning with a nearly audibly snap in his ears, the questioning of past events he would rather forget brought about a bite to his voice. "You ask too much!" Standing to his feet, he paced away.

"I'm sorry." Chastised, she twisted her fingers together. "I just wanted to better understand…"

Struggling with his anger, his claws biting into the palms of his hands, he clenched his eyes shut. A selfish, unbending part of him wanted her to be frightened, wanted to make certain his first conclusion of her reaction was true, and if she was not horrified by the thought of him participating in war, then he would let her know something worse. Something darker.

"Isamu died with Father in the war." Harsh and uncaring, he told her of one. "Tenshi and Shinta-sama were murdered." A small gasp of sympathy and the horror he had initially expected filled the silence, but his anger was not yet abated. He wanted to punish her further for being so kind when it was not deserved. "By their brother." When his golden eyes finally met hers his unreasonable anger melted into shame, for even though her brows curled and her eyes spoke of shock and a touch of uncertainty, she was still trying to find a way to understand. The lovely young lady before him was still wanting to know his side. And not just know… but take.

The buried pain inside his chest that only she had found twisted once more. He could never be worthy of such devotion. Not in the way that she deserved, and he suddenly didn't like how she was wasting her time on him. Rounding on the door, he left her in his rooms unattended.

X

Tae was trying hard to repress her smile, but every time she looked behind her at the adorably confused look on Katsu's face, the corners of her mouth would tilt traitorously and his confusion would become deeper. A return smile still graced his features, an unconscious reaction to her own, and that only made her happiness jerk just a little harder at her chest. Katsu was the sweetest man she knew, and so talented and amazing with a brush. It made her sad to think that there had ever been a moment in his life that made him doubt himself or his skill. There were some that still remembered and accused… and for that reason alone, she wanted everyone to attend his party and see just how wonderful he was. No one could blame him for what had happened. It wasn't fair to.

Mood plummeting with the direction of her thoughts, Tae slowed and found a frown pulling at her eyes. "Is there something wrong, Miss Tae?" Shaking her head, her smile came back.

"Of course not. Now hurry up." Grabbing his hand, she tugged him along, turning her head to hide her embarrassment at the contact.

"But where are we going, Miss Tae?"

"I told you. The Lady wishes to speak with you in the training hall. I think she has an idea she wishes for you to paint."

"But I thought we had already finished the discussions about the screens, and she knows that I cannot paint the rest until it is warmer."

"Oh, stop being so difficult, Katsu-san. I do not know the mind of the Lady. You will simply have to ask her yourself when we get there." Unable to stifle a giggle, she was rewarded with a suspicious look from the painter. Once at the closest door to the hall, she let go of his hand and scampered inside ahead of him. Left with nothing else to do but follow, Katsu pushed the door open a little wider and stepped in after.

"SURPRISE!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

The multitude of shouting nearly toppled him over backwards, and he overbalanced with a thump onto the floor. Sitting on his backside, he stared in shock at the hundreds of others already within waiting to wish him well. All of his friends were in attendance, even the lord and lady, though they were at opposite sides of the hall, which was strange since he had heard they were getting along. Then Tae was next to him, a hand on his back to help him up, and he forgot everything else but the soft tan eyes mere inches from his face.

"Happy Birthday, Katsu." Smiling shyly at the use of such informality, she looked away. "I hope you… did not have other plans."

Still in shock, he stared, then jumped as if startled from his trance to grab one of her hands in both of his own. "Any plans I would dream to make would always include you, Miss Tae." Thinking suddenly of something he had tucked away inside his room, he felt a certainty of action that only ever accompanies the instinctual knowledge of feeling complete. Today was the day. He was sure of it. But first he would make her happy and enjoy the party she had obviously worked hard to put together for him.

"T-thank you." Happier than she had ever been in her life, Tae turned and led him to the middle of the room.

Well-wishers and close friends congratulated him as they walked through the crowd, the entire room circulating to make sure everyone had a chance to speak briefly with the man of the hour. A moment of tension tugged at his spine when the lord wished him well, and even Tae seemed worried by the return look of depression, anger, and sadness in their master's eyes. Tae was not about to let the mood darken, however, and as everyone finished with their rounds, she tugged him further into the room to a layout of food and desserts.

"Miss Tae!" Dark eyes widening, he stared at the lineup of dishes. Everything there was something he enjoyed; everything there was his favorite. "This must have caused you a lot of trouble."

"Oh not at all!" Breathless with joy, she seemed eager to share. "I have even made your favorite ice cream."

"But…"

"I saved some mint leaves in a jar, and Sanosuke-san went down to the village and found me a few blocks of chocolate. I made him leave something in return, so do not fear that he stole it. I even made a few jars of strawberry and raspberry preserves and mixed them in for flavoring, if you would like to try those as well. And…"

Listening to her go on, he felt content and impatient all at the same time. Now that he knew, now that he had made up his mind, he no longer wanted to wait, but he could not in turn ruin everything she had worked hard to create for him. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he let the evening progress naturally… even though it felt slower than a lazy turtle in summer.

As night set in and lanterns were lit to illuminate the party now in full swing, Katsu was feeling a little warm from the small amount of sake Tae had allowed and the large amount of food he had consumed. Sano was roaring something in the background, far beyond drunk by now, and a smile pulled at the lemur's mouth as a certain fox doctor scolded him for his behavior. His best friend still hadn't learned a thing about women, but… upon closer inspection, Katsu briefly wondered if the fox didn't like that mangy dog regardless of his lack in tact. Or rather, because of his lack in tact. As beautiful as he remembered the doctor to be, he had no doubt that many had tried to woo her, back when they were all human.

Looking to his right, he smiled at Tae as she happily chatted away with the weasel and their mistress. The lady was looking just a bit flushed, and he vaguely recalled her being sick that week, but then she giggled, an action that lasted longer than was necessary, and he realized she too was feeling the effects of the alcohol. What a strange sight that was, a lady, in their midst, drunk. Why, if they were still in full swing at court, she would be the scandal of the month. All of the other ladies would shun her, and her family would be hard put to find her a suitor. Of course, warriors, whether women or men, were given more allowances, and their lady did not seem the least bit concerned about what others thought of her. Independent. That's what Tae had said she was.

Tae. What a sweet name. He couldn't wait until she belonged to him and him alone. At the moment of their transformation, she had been young. Just graduating into the roll of chef, leaving behind her days of apprenticeship, and entering into a world that would allow her to finally be courted. If Katsu wanted to think about it, and he had thought about it many times, he had much to be grateful for. Tae, as a young woman, had a beauty that was different from Megumi's, a sweeter, gentler beauty that attracted the heart more than the body. It would not have taken long for someone else to have noticed and won her over. If that had happened before the curse had been landed on them, he would have never had the chance to quietly make his own feelings known. Once the curse had set in, all interest in such things not previously acknowledged had been given up. Longing had only ever visited their palace once since then… and it had left its scar.

_I must give it to her tonight. I have waited too long already, hoping for this curse to wear off so that we may be human again before… _

_After a thousand years I know that it doesn't even matter what our appearance now is, I want to be with her for the rest of my life, and I want her to know that. I want her to be happy, and I want neither of us to be alone any longer._

Standing, he gave Tae a reassuring smile when she glanced at him in concern. "Do not worry, Miss Tae, I will return shortly. There is… something I must take care of."

"Oh." She seemed embarrassed, and he realized she had misunderstood his meaning. Stuttering to correct his mistake, he frowned when the weasel, drunker than Sano, piped up.

"Too much info, buddy! Just go already!"

Mumbling, he ducked his head, and retreated out a side door, dodging in and out of others as he went. Once out on the veranda, he quickened his steps, doing something he tried to refrain from by dropping his front paws down and running on all fours. Once to his room, he dug around under a pile of scattered papers, popped up a loose floorboard, and removed a box covered in a thick amount of dust. Retrieving its contents after a moment of hesitation, he replaced the floorboard and pressed the large scroll to his chest.

He'd had it for years, for centuries; a masterpiece he had worked hard to perfect, and now he was finally going to present it to the woman it had been painted for. Excited, nervous, and feeling like he was going to vomit, he turned to the door. Sparing the large painting on his wall a brief look, he dismissed it from his mind, telling himself he would hide it later, before he shot back out into the cold night air. There were other, more important matters to attend to.

So eager to be back at her side, Katsu could not stop fast enough as one of the doors to the training hall opened in front of him and released the form of his master. Slipping and sliding on the slick surface of wood, Katsu slammed feet first into his leg, the scroll jolting from his arms to jump in the air. Concerned more for the painting, Katsu reached for it, a cry of anguish tearing from his lips as he could clearly imagine it landing in the drifts of snow and ruining the colored ink he had painstakingly made himself. Time seemed to stop, his heart felt as if it might rip in two, and then one red hand snatched it from midair.

Relaxing with a sigh, Katsu let his head thump back onto the floor and his eyes close in relief. "Thank you so much, my lord. I don't know what I would have done if…"

"Katsuhiro." There was a level of rage in his lord's voice that he had not heard since that day, over seven centuries ago. "What is the meaning of this?"

_No. He's seen!_ Opening his eyes quickly, he found that his worst fear was true. The scroll in his hand was open, the painting bare to his gaze, and the hands that held it were shaking. "Please, my lord, you must understand…" Breathing heavily, suddenly panicked, Katsu scooted backwards and repositioned himself to his knees. "I have done as you asked. I promise there have been no others." Wincing as he knew what he spoke was a lie, Katsu trembled at the sharpness in the harsh golden eyes of his master, and hung his head. "I-I'm sorry, my lord… there has been one other that I have given to…" Unable to bring himself to say who, he stopped. "but it was not asked for, I promise you that. I gave it to… I gave it as a gift, nothing more. This one as well… it is… it is my engagement gift… my lord." Bent with his head pressed into the icy wood, Katsu shivered, his stomach churning and knotting. Today had felt so perfect, how could it now be like this?

A moment of silence stretched his panic to new heights, and then the sound of the shoji sliding shut assaulted his ears, muffling the sounds of the party inside. "Come, Katsuhiro. You will show me your quarters. I will see for myself that there are no others."

Mind halting, he remembered the other he had left hanging on the wall. Already having lied to him once, Katsu said nothing. It did not matter anymore anyway what was to happen now. The lord had his precious painting, and he was going to burn it just as he had every other painting of their human portraits.

Trailing along behind, defeated and feeling decidedly sick, Katsu spared only one glance at the scroll held tightly in his masters black claws. One look to say goodbye to the happiness it represented and hello to the loneliness of eternity. He could not ask her to spend the rest of her life with him without a gift… he could not ask her to do such a thing when he was responsible for the tragedy his master was now reminding him of. Was that not the very reason he had stopped pursuing her for all those years? What had made him forget that worthlessness living in his being?

"I am in a foul mood already today, Katsuhiro. I cannot believe you would go against my decree and paint such atrocities behind my back. Do you wish for all that happened back then to happen again? Do you wish such a thing upon my cook?" Voice snappy and harsh, unforgiving, Kenshin shook with the rage he felt. "I have asked little of everyone since I became master. Very little. What few rules I have made I expect to be followed. This rule, Katsuhiro, this one rule was the only one I gave to you. You cannot expect me to believe you have forgotten it. Even after seven hundred years." Stopping to round on the lemur, his voice rose to a shout. "Do you have nothing to say for yourself?"

"N-no, my lord, I have not forgotten. And no… I would wish nothing bad upon Miss Tae… nor anyone living within the boundaries of your lands. I had only thought…"

"You had thought nothing! You have painted this as an engagement gift?" Holding up the scroll for reference, Kenshin snorted. "A nice thought, and one that would have been appropriate were we all once again normal, but have you thought one second past that moment you would have given it to her? Have you thought about what might happen afterwards? Obviously not or you would not have painted it to begin with." Letting his arm drop, Kenshin looked out across the yard, the half moon sparkling off the snow. "Together you might be for many years, but what happens when she, or you, become frustrated with the distance, the boundaries of your relationship? What happens when that same longing and depression that ensnared my people those seven centuries ago finds itself within her heart? And every day she looks upon this painting you have given her and she thinks of the way she was, the way she wants to now be, the way she no longer is and cannot be rid of those feelings of longing and frustration. Soon, every day she will look at you and wonder if you did not love her only because of the way she used to look. And on that day everything becomes too much for her to bear… she will take her own life… just as they did."

Breathing once more labored, tears burning his eyes and throat, Katsu buried his head in his hands. "I did not know such a thing was going to happen because of my paintings. I thought only to make everyone happy. You must believe me. I did not know."

The painter was clearly upset beyond consolation, and Kenshin closed his eyes, his jaw clenching painfully. Only Kaoru's influence would make him feel such sympathy for a servant. Only Kaoru…

"The fault belongs to me, Katsuhiro. I am the reason for everything that has happened to this palace… and my people." Walking the last few steps to Katsu's room, Kenshin slid open the door and stepped inside.

A candle was still burning in the corner from his earlier search, an oversight Katsu did not usually make. Though the light was small and flickering weakly, Kenshin's amber irises still found without pause the large painting directly across the room. Freezing only a few paces beyond the door, he stared, Katsu stopped with his head bowed beside him.

"It is the only other one, my lord. I have painted no others besides the one in your hand and the one I have given away already. I promise to get that one back, and I will dispose of them properly, if you wish for me to."

The lemur went on to apologize again, but Kenshin heard nothing but the ringing of… jealousy. Yes, that was this emotion in his chest. That was the emotion he could not describe earlier this morning. It was jealousy now destroying all other sound in his ears but a vengeful roaring of anger. Anger for a man that had been dead some thousand years.

"Tell me why, Katsuhiro. Why have you painted my brother with her?"

"My lord?"

Swallowing, he realized he had never felt such anger for his oldest brother before. Shinta had demanded nothing but respect and adulation. Shinta had been the closest thing to a friend he had ever had growing up. But no matter how greatly he admired his brother, he could never allow Shinta to be so close to Kaoru.

"My brother, Katsuhiro! Why is he in this painting? They have not met! They never will!" Pointing and shouting, his eyes left the painting only long enough to make sure Katsu understood the gravity of the situation. How could he do such a thing? How could he insinuate such an awful, tormenting thought into his already distraught mind? How could he paint the two of them, standing so casually together, laughing so easily with one another, looking so comfortable and… right? With Kaoru looking so beautiful in her spring kimono, her hair loose in the way he liked, her arm pointing at the pond below them as she leaned against the railing of the pavilion. Wind was teasing her hair, her blue eyes were smiling at the other next to her, and she didn't seem to mind at all that this other was holding her free hand warmly within his own.

"But my lord…" Confused and anxious, unsure of his lord's sanity, Katsu glanced at the painting himself. "your brother is not in the painting."

"Do not test me, Katsuhiro! He is here." Stomping his way up to the hanging portrait, he pointed at the man standing next to Kaoru. The man that was smiling tenderly at her amusement, with his pale skin and normal features, his high ponytail of red hair teased in the same wind as hers, and his soft amber eyes meeting her blue ones as they shared a moment that was theirs alone. "Right here. Is he not?"

"My lord…" Taking a tentative step back, Katsu stumbled on. "has it been so long… that you do not recognize yourself?"

Feeling just a touch unstable, Kenshin's eyes darted between the painting and the painter. "I think I remember what my own brother looked like!"

"Of course, my lord." Forcing himself to come closer, Katsu relaxed as he distinguished the problem. "But the resemblances between yourself and Master Shinta were impeccable. Everyone said so, remember?" Pausing to wait for a reaction or interruption, Katsu continued slowly when there was none. "Only, Lord Kenshin, you were younger than he, and so his features were always more matured, and also, I think, he was taller than you, ne?" Pointing at the portrait now in front of him, Katsu brought the man to Kenshin's attention. "If this were Master Shinta, he would be much taller than Lady Kaoru. You two, on the other hand, are closer to each other's height. Also, you have aged since… Master Shinta's death, so your features have matured. Much like his were."

With each rational explanation his tense muscles loosened, his angry golden eyes draining of their rage and softening to near exhaustion and weary wonder. Much like the longing he had seen on those faces seven hundred years before. Dark eyes widening, Katsu felt panic once more take precedence within his body.

Gently, clawed fingers trailed over the painstaking detail placed into each stroke of the paint, envious of that moment in time that would never happen. Wanting that stolen glance to be real, her smile to be his, and to feel the warmth of her strong fingers. Never in his life had he ever wanted something so badly.

Then the lord jerked, his hand shooting up to rip the painting off the wall and throw it to the floor. Crossly his tail twitched back and forth, his wings trembling, and a multitude of emotion tugged upon his features. Twisting back to the open door, he stalked halfway across the room and then hesitated, his hands fisting desperately.

"Why would you paint such a thing?" Accusing, pleading, lost; his voice was not the one of their master, but a man tormented.

"I do not know, my lord. I suppose… I thought it would be nice to see my master, as he is meant to be, together with… his lady. I was not going to give it to anyone. I was simply… compelled to paint it."

A moment of silence pressed upon them, neither moving, only the moon to direct more light through the doorway as it rose above the nearest building's rooftop. Turning abruptly, Kenshin came back to the fallen portrait, picking it up off the floor to roll neatly into a tube. Shoving the first scroll back into Katsu's face, he did not fully meet his gaze.

"I will leave this with you. You may do what you wish with it. Store it, burn it, I care not. As long as you do not show it to anyone else. This one… I will keep." Clutching the larger painting in his hand, Katsu could not help but think his lord looked more conflicted than ever. He also could not help but think that painting that portrait was going to turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life.

"Perhaps, my lord, you should let me dispose of them both. It was my own folly to go against what you decreed, you should let me clean up the mess." Sharp golden eyes bore into his own dark ones, and Katsu ducked his head from such intensity, but bravely continued his plea. "Please, my lord, you were right, and if… if anything else were to happen because of my paintings, I would not be able to live with myself."

"If anything were to happen to me, it would be nothing less than I deserve." Taking those last few steps to the door, he paused to add a reassurance. "I have not the conviction to take my own life. Whatever pain I endure, will be suffered until the end of eternity."

Crossing back over the cold walkways, Kenshin chose a path opposite the one near the training hall and the party inside. Fingers curled through what was left of the hairs in his face, the rest pulled back into the braid, he tried to steady himself; steady everything. This was one of those moments he hated, hated because it meant his path was changing. Change, he had discovered because of Kaoru, was not quite as bad as he had always thought, but this change required him to come to a decision. He had known he did not want Kaoru to leave the moment she had threatened to go, but had not at the time known why. Now it was becoming clear that this emotion that wished to keep her near was much thicker and more complicated than a simple desire to see her face every day.

At first there had been bitterness for her change, then panic that she would leave. Longing to have her stay soon followed, and then sadness at the thought of her gone. Happiness became known to him as they soon learned how to talk with each other once again, and with happiness came a certain level of peace. All of these emotions had not been new, though they had been strange and old with rusty hinges and gears. This most recent sensation, however, _was _new… and it was threatening the peace he had achieved through her friendship. Jealousy was ugly, and it could not be shaken unless there was no longer anything to be jealous of.

Either she had to leave, he learned how to deal with it, or…

A door slid open and he dropped his hand to peek at the partygoers enviously. How nice it must be to forget such horrible things like their curse… their lives. Shifting his attention from the door to the person who had exited, he stared across the yard into those blue eyes he had coveted not minutes before. Still vulnerable, still weak, his expression showed plainly those thoughts that plagued him. She frowned, concerned, and he thought of how sorry he was for that morning. How stupid of him to let her know even a shadow of his past. How idiotic to create such doubt within a person who knew nothing of such chaos and bloodshed. She was purity and innocence. Whatever way he felt, it was for something, _someone_, he did not deserve.

Wing lifting to cover him fully, he walked away, his hand still clutching the painting of a life he could not have.

X

A/N: Well, I suppose there were actually two sad revelations, but only one planned one. The other kind of just made sense to put it in now, since I've been trying to work in Kenshin's past into the story. This chapter was not as lighthearted as the last few, but it can't always be sugar and cake, now can it? I was sad doing what I did to Katsu, but his back story isn't a cake walk either. Too bad this means sad days for Tae as well. Ah me. Whatever shall a girl do?

Anyway, so Kaoru is learning a little more about Kenshin's brothers, and it seems something happened that was a bit more conniving than just their warmongering father sending them into battle and getting them accidentally killed off. What a crazy man. Of course, Kenshin didn't say anything about his sister's death, and she was older than him. Although, she would have been married off to some other family for backing and political ties. I wonder… lol. Yes, I know I know. I'm just being mean.

So, Kenshin is discovering a deeper emotional tie to his lady, and finding out that he doesn't quite like it. I had a lot of fun getting him all pissed off at the painting and what he thought was Shinta standing up there with Kaoru. lmfao So cute. Although, I have created a bad omen in the sense that everyone else who has seen Katsu's paintings and longed to have it be real has committed suicide. I do hope Kenshin won't succumb to such extremes. -pout- Ok, so I'm evil, but you're still reading it aren't you? Hope that you are still liking, and see you in the next chapter. Please leave a review.


	19. Fragments

Sorry it's late guys, but I just had the worst two weeks ever. So here you go, and I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I hold no rights to any of them.

**Chapter 19: Fragments**

Kaoru sat with her legs folded properly underneath her, her hair draped over one shoulder as she brushed its length distractedly. The hypnotic motion entranced her mind, leaving it clear to think on other matters, her eyes unfocused with a far away look staring into the mirror before her.

"Misao-san." The weasel looked up from where she was lounging in the room. As the lady's handmaiden, she was with Kaoru more than any of the other servants. "What can you tell me about Kenshin's family?"

"Well, milady…" Thoughtfully, almost reluctantly, Misao replied, her body flipping over onto her stomach to raise her head. "his mother, Lady Kinuko, was very sweet and well mannered. She was intelligent and kind, and she gave the best advice. She could always tell when there was something wrong with those around her." The sad note that was always present when she spoke of the late lady reentered her voice.

"How did she die?"

There was silence for a long moment, and Kaoru turned to face the weasel head on. "She got very weak, milady."

"Was she sickly?"

"No, milady. Lady Kinuko was… delicate, and… Lord Kenshin's father, Master Izo, was not…" Looking decidedly uncomfortable, Misao's head ducked down towards the floor.

Frowning, Kaoru felt a small amount of anger begin to bloom within her at the thought this knowledge produced. Kaoru had never met Kinuko, but from what she had heard, she had been a wonderful lady and mother. She did not like the thought of her being mistreated. "Did he beat her?"

"Oh no, milady, you misunderstand." Shaking her head desperately in negation, Misao hurried to explain. "I simply meant that Lady Kinuko's physical traits were not the same as her husband's, and so when she became pregnant with his child, it was always very hard on her to endure."

"Oh, so Kenshin wasn't her only child?"

"Well no, and yes. Lord Kenshin was the only one of her children that survived."

"Then she lost others?" Feeling sympathetic and saddened by the feelings that would no doubt follow such a happening, Kaoru's blue eyes appeared bruised with those imagined emotions.

Nodding, Misao confirmed. "The lady had five miscarriages after Lord Kenshin. During the last one… she would not stop bleeding. She became very weak, and died a few days later."

"How sad."

"Yes, milady."

"How… did Kenshin take it?"

"Lord Kenshin was never allowed to show much when his father was still alive, milady. Anger, fear, sadness, love… these were all emotions that showed weakness. Master Izo despised weakness, especially in his sons. To be honest, Lady Kaoru, I have never seen Lord Kenshin smile, not until you came to stay here." Smiling sadly, Kaoru looked away, thinking of the things he had said to her a few days before. Lightly, Misao's paw touched her arm. "If I may, milady, you are asking because you would like to understand why things are the way they are here, right?" Hesitating, Kaoru nodded. "Then you should know a very heartless rumor spread during the last few days of Lady Kinuko's life. Of course it was not true, but it hurt Lord Kenshin all the same."

"What was said?"

"We did have a physician here, before Megumi-sensei, and he was not as contemporary as she is. He told Master Izo that Lady Kinuko could bear no more children because all of her strength had been taken from her… stolen by her first born. In essence, he blamed Lord Kenshin for her inability to carry a child full term and in turn, her death by saying he took her life to strengthen his own. You see, since Lord Kenshin has never been a sickly or weak child, it was strange that he would inherit her petite stature and delicate looks, and yet preserve a strength that none of Master Izo's other children possessed. They were all strong, of course, but not like our Lord Kenshin."

"Well, that's just ridiculous. I can't believe anyone would be idiotic enough to say something so stupid and untrue." Immediately defensive, Kaoru huffed, missing the smile that pulled at Misao's lips. Sighing, her brightened eyes returned to being sad. "Poor Kenshin, that must have been hard."

"Our lord has not had an easy life, milady."

"Obviously not." Putting away her brush, Kaoru stood and stretched. "From what I can tell, his father was not pleasant." Misao shook her head to agree to the offhand statement. "What about his brothers? Can you tell me about them?"

"Not much, milady. I was not allowed too near the men of the family, since I was a lady's handmaiden. Anything I could tell you of them is just what I have heard from others or seen from afar. I was able to see Lord Kenshin and Master Izo more often than any of them, but that was merely because I was Lady Kinuko's favorite. Lord Kenshin never came into her pavilion, that wouldn't have been allowed after he hit a certain age, but he did visit her by the courtyard often. Master Izo only ever came to see the lady when… well, she was his wife, so it was late in the evenings."

"Oh, well alright then."

"If you are curious, though, you should ask Sano. He may not act like it now, but he used to be one of the head guards for the palace. In fact, I think Master Shinta appointed him to that position."

"Really, that loafer?" Amused, Kaoru laughed.

"Yeah, I know, it's a little hard to believe. Even for me."

Sliding open the inner shoji, Kaoru smiled. "Thanks, Misao-san, I'll go see if I can find him after breakfast."

X

"Who told you that nonsense?"

Shrugging, Kaoru looked away from where the mutt was sprawled in a patch of sunlight. It had not taken long to find the lay-a-bout, since several of the other residents knew just where to find him. Sanosuke liked to sleep right where he was in the way of the most people. "I heard it around. Seems to me one of the lords thought you were well qualified enough to be trusted with such a dignified position." Checking her fingernails, she jumped when he snorted.

"Yeah, whatever. The master didn't waste any time stripping me of that position once Shinta-sama was dead, either."

"Kenshin…?" Contrite, slightly ashamed of herself for bringing it up, Kaoru's shoulders slumped.

"Nah, the old master." Rolling to flop his front paws off the edge of the veranda, he stuck his chin on top of one and flipped his tail. "He wanted to get rid of me altogether, but Lord Kenshin intervened for some reason."

"What happened?" Sitting down next to him, Kaoru crossed one arm over her lap. "If you don't mind me asking, I mean."

"I don't supposed I do, since I don't know everything myself. One minute I was hearing the news of Master Shinta's death, and then the next I was being called before the old master. He tried accusing me of being part of some kind of conspiracy against his oldest son. Something about using my position to get closer to him, you know, find out the best way to plan an assassination. Which was a load of horseshit. I grew up with the man, I don't know how much closer I could have gotten."

Kaoru blinked, watching as the large mongrel twisted his neck in an action to hide the emotion that entered his voice. "You… were close to Shinta-sama?"

Shrugging, a dismissive roll of his shoulders, Sano spoke offhand. "We were the same age. With no one else to play with, what did you expect?"

"So why would he have thought you were in on some kind of conspiracy?" Thinking of the suggestive way Kenshin had spoken of the situation surrounding his oldest brother's death, she looked down at her lap. If Kenshin had killed him, then he would have known with certainty that Sano had nothing to do with his murder. It didn't sound like, however, that anyone else knew. It didn't seem right to let any of them know now.

"Beats me. I think he was just looking for someone to blame."

"Did they ever find out what really happened?"

"What really happened?" Scoffing, Sano propped himself up on his front legs. "Missy, he was killed in battle. If anyone got anybody killed it was that father of theirs, dragging them all off to war and making them fight for his own greedy wishes." Mumbling a few curses under his breath, he sat all the way up and began scratching his ear.

"They all died in battle? But…" _"Tenshi and Shinta-sama were murdered. By their brother."_

"Well… except for Lord Tenshi." There was that reluctance again, only this time Sano was completely uncomfortable, and when his mahogany eyes glanced her way they lowered quickly with a sigh. "Don't look at me like that Missy. It isn't something that concerns you. It happened a long, long time ago." Her blue eyes were indecisive, a little painful, but she nodded, looking defeated, and he closed his eyes on an exasperated grumble. "Look, I couldn't tell you anything about it if I wanted to. I was locked up at the time, waiting for Master Izo to make a decision. All I heard when I got out was that Lord Tenshi was dead as well, and that no one was to speak of him or his death ever again." Pausing, he jerked his head. "What do you want to know all this stuff for anyway?"

Pulling the chain of her necklace out from under her kimono, Kaoru fingered the petal hanging from it distractedly. "Was Kenshin there?" Meeting his eyes squarely, she continued as his brow furrowed. "In the battle with Shinta-sama?"

"No. As a matter-of-fact, he wasn't. He was… with Lady Kinuko… during the last few days of her life." The furrow between his eyes deepened, and something like anger appeared in their depths. "Missy, I don't like what you're insinuating. Lord Kenshin had only one person in this world he looked up to, and I'll tell you right now it was not his father. If you think for one moment that he could have ever killed his own brother just to take his inheritance, then you've just lost all the respect I have for you."

Lips trembling, Kaoru couldn't help the small smile that curved her mouth. "How could I think any such thing when all of his subjects are so loyal?" Unthinking of the impropriety of the action, Kaoru reached out and scratched at the ear he was working on. A little shocked, he tensed, but tilted his head into her nails. "I've just noticed some… mood swings that Kenshin likes to pull, and I thought it might be easier for me to understand and… help him if I knew just what kind of life he has lived. But I can't come to an unbiased decision without asking for all of the details."

"Unbiased, huh?" Leaning a little harder into her hand, Sano felt his leg move without his volition, and consciously stopped it with his toes spread. "Sounds to me like you've already made a decision on how you think of the young master."

Dropping her hand, Kaoru avoided his gaze, blushing when he laughed. "I can't help that I know a different Kenshin than the one you all have seen. I want to better understand who he is, but… it won't change what I think of him."

"And?" Turning his head almost upside-down to peer under the curtain of her bangs, he grinned toothily.

Shoving him, she huffed. "And what?"

Laughing louder, he stumbled back and hopped off the side into the snow. "Listen, I don't know much about what happened, but I do know someone else who knows everything. If you're brave enough to ask him, that is."

X

The scent of tea was intoxicating, and Kaoru let the warmth of the steam waft across her cheeks as she shivered from the leftover cold of outside. Smiling at Tokio, she sipped and sighed gratefully.

"You make the best tea Tokio-san." Pausing, she giggled and leaned forward to hurriedly whisper. "Just don't tell Tae-san I said so."

"Of course not, milady. Your secret is safe with me." Settled down adjacent to her in their cozy home, Saitou's wife seemed well at ease no matter what the situation. This was the second time Kaoru had made an unexpected visit, but not one complaint had passed her lips about her lack of forewarning. Saitou had made more than enough of those snide remarks himself.

Seated himself opposite Kaoru, he was looking ill pleased with her company, and as Kaoru took a breath to steady herself, she knew he was only going to get more agitated when he found out what she was there for. Casting her gaze to the side to avoid the topic for a few more moments, she smiled at the four wolf cubs, piled together on a worn, but clean, futon in the corner. Completely exhausted and played-out, they now took a much needed nap. A small touch of disappointment tugged at her heart that they were not going to be awake for her visit, but she also knew the timing was almost fortuitous as well. Their distraction would only make it harder.

"This is the second time you have come to my house while you and the master were fighting, my lady." Voice full of sarcastic meaning, Saitou broke the silence. "I'm starting to wonder if you think I can solve all of your problems when he won't."

Frowning, Kaoru's jaw clenched. He really was an infuriating man. How Tokio put up with his spiteful attitude she couldn't even fathom. "We're not fighting."

"Really? I heard differently."

"Well you heard wrong."

"Anata." Tokio laid a paw across his, her eyes holding a warning that Kaoru couldn't quite read. Grumbling, he looked away. "You came here for a reason, girl, so say what is on your mind and be on your way."

Stealing herself, she lifted her chin and spoke before she could change her mind. "What can you tell me about Lord Tenshi?"

Ever so slightly his left ear twitched, but his face stayed a passive mask. "Who, milady?" The way he spoke suggested he knew just who she was asking after, but had no desire to even acknowledge his existence.

"From what I understand he is Kenshin's older brother."

"The only brother of our lord that I will recognize is Master Shinta. Those two other pieces of trash are not worth mentioning." Lifting his nose in quite a dignified manner, he closed his eyes.

"Shinta-sama was supposed to be the new master after their father died, wasn't he?" Changing tact, Kaoru shifted into a side topic. "What was he like?"

Slowly his eyelids opened, showing a hesitance that was not natural to his personality. "He was… everything a master should be. More wise than strong. Perhaps a little too kind, but he had other virtues that outweighed his partial naivety. That kindness is what got him killed."

Kaoru was beginning to feel even more confused than when the idea had first been implanted in her head. Kenshin had suggested Shinta's death was caused by his own hand, while Sano bluntly stated that he had died in a battle that Kenshin was never even in. Now Saitou was making it sound, once again, as if he were murdered by someone he was kind to. _What in the world could connect all three of these different sides?_

"You make it sound like Shinta-sama was betrayed, Saitou-san."

"He was betrayed. By his brother."

"But Kenshin…"

"Do you have enough space in that brain of yours to think past that man?" Angry, Saitou growled. "Lord Kenshin wasn't even there. He was here, with his dying mother. I'm talking about another."

"Another?" Eyes widening, Kaoru could have kicked herself.

"He had three brothers, didn't he?"

"Yes, Saitou-san, only…" Looking down into her lap, Kaoru bit her lip. "Kenshin made it sound like he was responsible."

It was silent so long Kaoru chanced a glance at the wolf, his golden eyes staring straight through her. "He would, because it was his sole duty to protect his oldest brother from any threat." Abruptly he looked to his left, jerking his head at his wife. "More tea." Tokio nodded. "It doesn't seem, however, that he has told you much of anything. I suppose I can do him this one favor, but I have no interest in sparing the golden image you have of him, girl, so be forewarned."

X

The sun was setting, painting the sky in tones of red and orange. Darkness was creeping up fast in the eastern sky, deepening the pretty blue of day into the rich sapphire of night. Gazing away from that majesty of the day's end, Kenshin studied the velvet texture that would soon dominate his lands. Kaoru's eyes looked that way at times, when there was something occupying her thoughts. They had looked that way all day.

At lunch she had spoken of visiting the Saitou residence, to see the boys again. He had seen how close they had gotten on her first visit, so it did not surprise him that she would wish to go. It was strange that she would want to go now with all the snow on the ground. Still raw from the events of the day of the party, he had felt little inspiration to protest. Having spent the entire day by himself, however, he was missing the company.

Unfortunately, her company was no longer as carefree and enjoyable as it had been. Something was changing, and as with every time before, he hated the feeling. Nothing ever stayed the same long enough for him to enjoy it, even now with all of eternity spread out before him, what he found pleased him the most was slipping away from him with the passing of time. Their brief friendship hadn't been long enough, and he already felt sorrow that it was disappearing just like the sun's warm rays over the horizon.

Mostly, he realized, he had only himself to blame. Always he had himself to blame. Every happy time in his life had come to an abrupt end because of circumstances that he himself had created. It was ironic that this time it was brought about by fear that something would occur to change her outlook on their relationship. That she might discover the gentle heart she thought he possessed was as fraudulent as the title of master he had claimed. But instead of another giving away the information he had hoarded, he had practically shoved it into her face. He was not gentle or kind. He only pretended to be because she made him want to be. He was a horrible person, and now she knew it.

_She does not know even half of it._ Correcting himself, he lowered his head, feeling shame at the kimono still warming his body. Kindness came to her so easily. One hand smoothed over the golden silk. He had to struggle with every inch of the kindness he faked. _If she knew… if she even knew that I was responsible for the deaths of four of my family members… four deaths in barely forty-eight hours… then this change would be harsher than a slightly forced smile and a soft greeting. Her caring mind wouldn't be able to even comprehend such a revelation. I never wanted her to know of any such cruelty. Why? __**Why**__ did you have to blurt out the very thing you wished to keep from her?_

Elbows braced on the railing, he dropped his head into his hands, staring blindly through the crevices between his fingers down at the frozen pond. Thoughts chaotic, emotions shutting down, he latched onto one final image, seeing in his mind's eye the painting now locked away within his pavilion. Right here was where his other self had stood, to his left where Kaoru held his hand and pointed. What, he wondered, would she have been pointing at? What kind of response would he have given to it? Would he have simply shown the tender amusement Katsu had portrayed him with, or would he have floundered with his words, amusing her further with his natural awkwardness with intimate conversation? He didn't even know what his brother would have said, so he had no example to follow.

_Shinta… if you were here, would she prefer you over me?_ Biting back the jealousy the thought created, he focused instead on the well known tremble of regret in his chest. Not once in his life had he been allowed to show what he felt, and even after he was left with no one ranked higher than he to show their disapproval of such weaknesses, he was so used to ignoring their appearance that he dealt with them the only way he knew how. Kaoru had brought about those feelings into full view, however, and it was getting harder and harder to stop them from showing. Now that he was remembering such past events that had succeeded in numbing him completely, he was nearly shocked, and yet at the same time curious, by the intricate network of emotions their memory produced.

_Shinta… did you have any regrets in the end? Did you blame me, just like father did?_

"_I've already spoken with Father, little brother. I will not allow you to go, so do not bother arguing." Their combined footsteps echoed along the walkway, stilling as Kenshin stopped to look off across the yard. "You need to be here… with your mother."_

"_My place is at your side, Shinta-sama. It is the oath I took. I cannot let you go into battle without my sword to protect you."_

"_Your mother is dying, Kenshin." Grabbing him by one shoulder, Shinta turned his younger brother so that they were once again facing. "Your place is by her side. Father understands this…"_

"_Then why isn't he there?" Pulling his arm angrily from Shinta's grasp, Kenshin fought desperately to control the rage contorting his features. It was the only show of emotion Shinta had seen on his face in many, many years. It was nearly a relief._

"_Leaving is the only way he can deal with her death. Please, little brother, do not let her pass on alone." His emotions were once again under control, and Shinta sighed, frightened for his favorite little brother. Their father's influence had not been kind to the sweet boy he remembered, and now his mother, the only other person that kept the madness from taking him fully, was about to die. The monster their father wanted was on the verge of being born, and Shinta wished with everything he was that there was another way to stop it. "Forgive me, little brother, but just this once I am going to order you to stay." Sharp amber irises narrowed, and he could read the shock that did not touch his eyebrows. "I feel that you are too emotionally compromised to adequately fight and protect your lord. You are to remain here at the palace and watch over our more vulnerable residents."_

_Hesitating before he left, Shinta patted him on the arm, and then walked away, adjusting the armor he already wore._

Fingers combing upwards through his hair, he tugged at the strands still tightly bound into the plait Kaoru had done. By his mother's side he had sat, for three days, and on the fourth, she was gone; a peaceful passing in the night, her hand held loosely in his. That small hand had been so fragile, and he remembered thinking that someone of her delicate nature should have never borne children to begin with. Like a beautiful, fragile, china doll, she needed to be put away, safely displayed for others to gaze upon from afar. If such a thing had been done, then she would have lived, and he would never have been. His ugly life had been traded for the beauty of hers. What kind of fairness was that? All of those dark whispers had been right. Kinuko died because of his birth.

In the same vein, her death was the cause of Shinta's.

"_Lord Kenshin… I know this is a bad time, but… we have just received news from the master. Shinta-sama has fallen…"_

A harsh breath gasped through his throat, tightening his chest to the point of pain. Kinuko had praised him, to the end, happy that he was such a wonderful son; a wonderful brother. Shinta and his family were to be his to look after, she had said, he needed to protect them from harm, because they were his family as well. Shinta would look after him, and it was to Shinta he needed to look for guidance from now on. Not to their father.

With only two small sentences that path his mother had set him on had dropped out beneath him. A path he had been more than willing to follow had cut short, leaving him blinded and lost, unsure which way to go. There was no cliff, only a wall; a wall too high, too long, and too deep to bypass.

What was he to do? His life had been pledged to his oldest brother, but with his death there would be a new master to serve; Tenshi, his next to oldest brother. Such a master would tyrannize the people and lands under his care, but Kenshin had no say in such things. He was the youngest… not even able to voice his opinion on matters that would never concern him.

_A meeting had been called. Today his father would officially announce Tenshi as his new heir and then they would talk war. It was how things were done. Shinta had barely been dead for a full day and they were moving on. It was a transition many could not handle, but a necessity made so by the war they fought. People died quickly. Shinta's death proved that._

_Closing his eyes for a moment, he asked forgiveness. A second death now weighed briefly on his conscience, and he knew without needing to see the sadness that would decorate his brother's golden eyes if he were still alive. Yuriko, Shinta's heavily pregnant wife, had taken her own life in the night. The baby had gone with her._

"_My lord." Eyes almost as hard as bronze snapped open, pinning the owner of the voice with their heavy stare. A name tossed up within the depths of his mind, and he recognized the leader of the elite guard; Saitou Hajime. He was a man loyal to his late brother. "I would like a word, if I may."_

"_I am on my way to a meeting, Saitou-san. Izo-sama does not tolerate tardiness."_

"_Of course, my lord, but it is on a matter that I think you will want to know before entering the meeting."_

"_Be brief." Continuing onward, he left the taller man to walk after._

"_But also cautious." A slight nod of his head when Kenshin looked acknowledged his suspicion. This was a topic that was not for everyone's ears. Stopping, dark pupils scanning the walkway, he jerked his head for Saitou to carry on. "If I may be frank, young lord, it is no secret that I do not care for you." Kenshin looked away, unsurprised, his hand twitching as if to move him past the statement. "My loyalties are for Master Shinta and no one else, but… he trusted you, and since I like your remaining brothers even less, I have no choice but to transfer my services to the only surviving male heir I feel is the least evil. If only because I have seen how loyal you were to Master Shinta, I will follow you."_

"_Is there a point to this?"_

_Irritation crossed the warrior's features, and Saitou's lip fought the snarl that threatened to curl it upward. "Your brother did not die by the sword of an enemy, my lord." _

_Something cold drained the blood from his face. _

"_Nor, do I think, did his wife commit suicide." _

_Shaky hands fisted into the cloth of his kimono._

"_Give me your proof."_

_There was no denial or disbelief in the amber eyes staring back at him, and Saitou felt relief and satisfaction that the boy respected the devotion they both had for their now dead master. "The proof I have seen with my own eyes. Shinta-sama was stabbed in the back by a blade that was meant to protect it. His wife was slipped a tonic that she was told would help her rest. A tonic I have been informed was prescribed by our own physician, the same man who claims ignorance of the origin of the poison found on Yuriko-dono's lips."_

"_The name."_

_Looking dead into the eyes of his new master, Saitou could see the death his announcement would bring about. No sympathy entered his heart as he whispered the identity of the perpetrator._

The rage that trembled in his gut nearly frightened him. It was the very same violence he had wished to keep secret from Kaoru, but it was unmerciful, burning a vision of red behind his eyes until it was as dark as the blood that once decorated his blade.

_Saitou was now far behind him, his footsteps quick, light, and though fast, unhurried. Nothing in his entire life had ever been this clear. Nothing within him argued the outcome, there was only one, and all parts of his conscience demanded it._

_The door slid open easily, his eyes adjusting to the dim lighting inside, and even as he registered the other presences in the room, he could focus on only one. The katana at his waist was suddenly in his hand, his feet already taking him the last few steps to his destination, and even as his free hand reached for the thick braid his brother wore his hair in, he thought of how appropriate it was that Tenshi had his back to him._

_One quick yank on the braid brought his brother's head back with a snap, the yellow of his eyes bright with shock. Jaw grinding, anger bursting into fire, Kenshin buried the entire length of his blade into his spine. Light glinted off the steel, the action so quick that not one drop of blood marred its splendor. The shock on his brother's face melted into a curious wonder, and, suddenly sick with desire to make his revenge satisfactory, Kenshin retrieved his katana, jerked Tenshi up by the braid, and severed his head at the neck._

_Blood did spray this time, splattering the bulky stature of his remaining brother, as well as much of the floor and walls. Ignoring the unholy terror emanating from Isamu's personage, Kenshin dropped the head with a thump, and stared blankly across the room, the anger slowly dissipating until nothing but numbness filled the void._

_At the head of the room, bending over a map, was their father. A quick glance up was all he spared to the display, his voice sharp with disapproval when he spoke. "You're late, boy."_

_Stepping over the decapitated body, Kenshin slung the stray blood from his blade with one quick whip of his arm and took his own seat at the back of the room. "My apologies, Father."_

"_Don't let it happen again."_

"_Yes, Father."_

"_Isamu." Isamu jumped, tearing his eyes from the dead body of his brother to stare at the master, trying hard not to look at the dangerous monster in his peripheral vision. "Look sharp, boy. It seems you are my new heir."_

A sudden tingle of presence jerked his head up off his hands, and the wings at his back drew in protectively as he recognized the soft footfalls of Kaoru's gait. A few feet from him she stopped, unmoving, and he could feel the weight of her gaze traveling up his spine. Emotions and thoughts so tangled and confused, he could think of nothing to say or do, and instead stood perfectly still as if she might not notice him at all and turn to leave him there alone.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he didn't really want to be alone, but he was afraid of what she might see if she stayed. His anger had proved countless times that he liked to say all the wrong things while under its influence. Already once he had made her cry because of his irritation, and just recently pushed her away by implanting a seed of doubt in her mind. What, he wondered fatalistically, was going to happen this time?

Quietly she stepped closer to his side, her gaze leaving him to look out over the landscape and at the thin sliver of sun still left. A deep breath pulled into her lungs, and slowly, happily, she let it out with a sigh. Tentatively, she glanced at him, her blue eyes judging his mood, her lips offering a gentle smile. Unable to move, the pain in his chest raw from repeated abuse, he waited for that moment that would bring his life full circle. Surely sometime soon his bad karma would kick in and ruin a moment that seemed too ethereal to be genuine. Closing his eyes, he looked away.

Something soft touched his hand, disappearing when he jerked, then boldly encircling his palm before he could pull completely away. Surprised, he peeked around a wing at her, then down at their joined hands, fascinated by the fingers curled around his own. They were strong, and warm, and just firm enough to suggest she was not going to let go. Curious, confused, he met her eyes a second time, expecting sympathy and fear, saddened already by the change he was sure to find.

Nothing but affection and understanding stared back at him, a desire to comfort, and perhaps a touch of sorrow for his pain. Relaxing, relieved and grateful, he stared as her smile became warmer, happy with his reaction. Suddenly she looked away, and he was briefly upset with the loss of her interest, but then her free hand pointed, stealing his breath as a sure sense of déjà vu smacked him square in the chest. The only difference was her attention was focused skyward, not Earth bound.

"Look, Kenshin, the first star of the night." Arm still help up at an angle, she smiled over at him, her hand squeezing his briefly. "I've heard you can make a wish on it and it'll come true." Dropping her arm, she wrapped his hand in both of hers, her smile widening. "Come on, Kenshin, you have to close your eyes for it to work." Looking down at the pale skin covering the red scales on his hand, he nervously curled his fingers around hers. "Well? Don't you have anything you want to wish for, Kenshin?"

Raising his head towards the single star shining bravely alone in the young night sky, his fingers tightened, and he closed his eyes.

X

A/N: Again, I apologize, but it has felt like I haven't been allowed a break for a week. First my car, then my boyfriend's truck, and then Christmas decorations, and then I had to work the weekend, and its just felt like everything that could go wrong has. I'm so tired, and I think I'm going to have to go back to the doctor, again. Argh, I hate going to the doctor. It's so expensive and unpleasant. I feel like a cat having to go to the vet, or something… lol. Anyway, enough of my problems, this story has enough of its own.

So, we get to see a little of Kenshin's past. Kind of an introduction really, on how he ended up with the curse landed on him. This is the true start of his downhill path into the heartless monster Izo eventually turns him into. His family got drastically smaller by the end of this chapter, though. I feel kind of bad about what I did to poor Yuriko and her unborn baby, but if a brother is trying to take over, he's not really going to leave any legitimate young heirs that will contend with him later on. Now it looks like we're down to Isamu, and I still haven't even got to Yumi yet, and not one mention of the poor sorceress. This is such a busy mess. I hope it's coming out alright. Well, time for supper, I'm going to post, and please leave me a review and tell me what you thought.


	20. A Need To Protect

Thanksgiving turkey, and mashed potatoes, and yummy gravy and cherry pie, yum… I can't wait. How about you? This year will be fun since I'm making the pie. Of course, I can bake a whole lot better than I can cook.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything… but I owe quite a bit of money.

**Chapter 20: A Need To Protect**

A soft knock echoed against the wooden walls of Tae's room, her eyes parting reluctantly as sleep left her. A pout threatened to pull on her lips as she briefly mourned the sweet dream she had been having. A dream in which everyone was happy, everyone was human, and her beloved had finally worked up the courage to speak with her about their future; together.

The knock sounded again, and she glanced at the other two residents of the room, one of her kitchen aides rolling over with a mumble. Sighing, she tossed aside the bedclothes and gained her feet, opening the door quietly to see what was needed at such a late hour. Darkness, thick and concealing, barely made room for the waning moon as it dimly illuminated the veranda, and Tae had to squint just to make out the shadowy form standing before her.

"Katsu? What are you doing here so late?" Glancing behind her, she lowered her voice so as not to wake the others. "Has something happened? Are you alright?" Silence greeted her questioning, the outline of his head shifting as he dropped his chin, and her concern increased to a mild form of alarm.

"I am… as well as I can be. You should not worry." The rest of his exhaled breath was shaky, and she lifted a hand to touch the fur on his arm.

"Then… is there something that you wanted, Katsu?" The missing use of a title still felt strange on her tongue, but her sister had insisted she try and be more intimate, to encourage the shy lemur into confessing his feelings. Saying his name so familiarly was a large enough step for her. For now.

"Yes." Shaking himself as if returning from a trance, he bowed his head with a little more respect. "I apologize for the hour, but may I please speak with you outside, Miss Tae?"

"Of course." Widening the door to step out onto the veranda with him, he stopped her hurriedly.

"I need you to… bring the painting that I gave to you… please."

"Has something happened?" Repeating her earlier question, the soft pinch of alarm tightening, Tae thought of the repercussions of their master finding out about his disobedience.

"Please, Miss Tae… I need you to bring the painting." Voice strained, he turned away from her.

"Alright." Disappearing back into the inky blackness of her room, she reappeared not moments later with the scroll in her hands, pressed close to her body as she peeked once more over her shoulder. Making sure the others were still unaware of the waking world, she closed the door and followed Katsu to a far corner of the walkway.

In the soft ray of unobstructed moonlight Tae could see the symptoms of exhaustion and anxiety around his eyes that were only moments ago hidden by the gloom. Something was weighing heavily on her lemur's mind, and it saddened her that he was still trying to deal with his problems alone. Did he not think to let her help him? Did he not know that she would gladly shoulder his burdens in order to relieve him of his sorrow?

"Katsu, won't you tell me what is wrong?"

The dark ebony eyes that she found to be as mysterious and deep as an artist's should be clenched shut. When they opened they were no more decided than they had been before. "I can't let you keep the painting." Rushed, slightly fearful, his words tripped upon one another like children running from punishment. "I need it back."

"Have you gotten in trouble?" Startled by his outburst, although a part of her had expected such an outcome, she went on quickly to understand. "I haven't shown it to anyone, and I'm sure no one has seen that I have it." Unwilling to give it up if she didn't have to, Tae pressed it closer into the hollow of her body.

"No one has seen it." Impatient and edgy, his voice a harsh snap, his hand outstretched and twitched for her to hand it over. "I just must have it back."

His raised voice made her feel strangely small, and she gave up the painting reluctantly. "Will you… let me have it back later?"

The slightly vulnerable, needful, tone of her pleading blinded him with panic, and all he could see were the many faces of those lost in their longing those many centuries back. He could not allow that to happen to her. "No." Sharp and insensitive, hasty with denial, he hid the scroll behind his back as if keeping it from sight would quell her desire to have it. "You can never have it back. I don't want you to have it anymore. It was a mistake to give it to you." Rambling half to himself, he fought the tremble in his weary muscles, his heavy lashes blurring the vision of hurt that briefly curled her brow.

"You… don't want me to have it anymore?" _A mistake?_ The sour ache of rejection curled in her stomach.

Thoughts following a different path, he tried to spare her the details of his torture. "It was foolish of me to give it to you in the first place. I don't know… what I was thinking."

"I see." The hurt was churning with pride now, and she swallowed hard. "Yes, you're quite right. How foolish of both of us." Black eyes jerked abruptly up towards hers, and she straightened her spine out of sheer force of will. "If that was all you required, Katsuhiro-san, then I will be going back to bed. Work in the kitchens start early."

Wishing to say more, torn between fear, panic, and relief, he calmed himself and spoke what was needed. "That was all… Miss Tae."

She stood there for a half second longer, her breath threatening to heave, with a sense of disappointment weighing on her navel. _That's it? After a thousand years of waiting through silent longing and stolen glances and that's it?_ Wanting there to be something more, she lingered expectantly, needing him to say something to make everything better… but nothing came from his lips and she was forced to walk away.

_Please understand, my love, I want only to protect you._

X

Kaoru blinked down at the young mountain lion, still confused as to why he was asking such a favor from her. Everyone acknowledged her as "The Lady" sure, but it was an empty title considering she was not a noble, and she was not married to "The Lord," either. So what did she know about anything that pertained to making decisions around a palace or for its dependants?

"Uh, Yutarou, was it?" Nodding eagerly, his pleading eyes became slightly hopeful. "Why aren't you talking to Kenshin about this?"

The hope died and he ducked his head. "The lord doesn't like to bothered. Everyone knows that. If I came to him with such a request… he'd just get angry with me." Meeting her eyes fervently, he went on to explain. "But if you were to ask him, milady, I know he would willingly listen."

Her eyebrow lifted. "What makes you think it'll make any difference if I ask him instead of you doing it yourself? I'm sure the answer, whatever it may be, would be the same."

Shaking his head quickly, Yutarou disagreed. "Everyone knows by now, milady, that the lord likes keeping you happy. Won't you please put in a good word for me?"

_I do not like where this is going._ Alarmed, Kaoru couldn't decide whether to frown or stare in shock as his words sunk in. Such a rumor made it sound as if Kaoru got away with whatever she wanted because she had their lord wrapped around her finger like some kind of pet. _Independent I may be, but there is a line that even I won't cross, and making Kenshin look like less of an authoritative figure is something I would never do._

Fighting for the right words, Kaoru bent at the waist. "Look, Yutarou-san, all I can promise you is that I will mention to the lord that you wish to speak with him. I absolutely will not try to sway his decision, whatever that decision may be, because he is your master and he knows what is best, not I. "

"But…"

"And I want to make myself clear when I say that I do not show favoritism, either, especially with such a request. Not to mention, I am not really qualified to make a decision either way on whether or not you are suitable to be part of the palace guard." Head hanging, he sighed dejectedly. "May I ask you a question, though, Yutarou-san?"

"Yeah… what is it?"

"Are you only wishing to be a part of the guard to compete with Yahiko-kun?"

His neck and shoulders tensed. "That lowly servant? Why would I want to compete with him? He isn't even on the same level as I am."

The telltale tone of his voice tugged a smile on her lips and she lifted a hand to hide it from view. "That's good then, because if you were I'm sure the lord would not take your request seriously. I would think such a position would require a great deal of commitment to protecting the palace residents from any and all harm, something that cannot be done if someone is too worried about outdoing another."

"Well of course, I know that." His words made her smile widen. "I will… await my summons, then. Thank you for your time, Lady Kaoru." Bowing his head in a perfectly dignified motion, the tan puma turned to head back down the veranda.

Sighing, Kaoru watched him go, just slightly bewildered by the information he had given to her. "Well, that was interesting." Mumbling to herself, she yelped when another voice piped in.

"Certainly was."

A small fox nose peeked around the corner, and Kaoru relaxed as the doctor appeared fully out in the open. "Don't do that, Megumi-sensei. You frightened me."

Mock bowing, she giggled wickedly. "My apologies, milady. Please, don't tell Lord Kenshin on me. I wouldn't want him to punish me just for being a sneaky fox and scaring his little lady." Playful and teasing, she flapped her lashes rapidly, suggestively mimicking the puma's reference to her influence on Kenshin.

Groaning, Kaoru dropped her head back and leaned against the outer wall she was standing near. "Wasn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard? What's worse, if everyone actually thinks like that, there are going to be some problems."

"Unfortunately, it's probably not going to be the last time someone comes to you for such a favor or even guidance. The rumor that kid was talking about suggests more than just your familiarity with the lord. Apparently you're developing quite the reputation as a problem solver, and since Lord Kenshin doesn't like to be bothered with day-to-day stuff, having another high-ranking, permanent resident around is going to attract the people that need help."

Frowning, Kaoru dug out the root of the issue without batting a lash. "Why doesn't Kenshin like to be bothered with it? If he's the master, it's his responsibility to."

Megumi sighed and sat down. "Well that would be because he was never taught how to deal with anything. He was the youngest child of five, he was never meant to be the master."

One arm uncrossed from Kaoru's chest to extend her hand as she talked, her palm upraised. "That doesn't make any sense, if they were constantly in the middle of fighting wouldn't Kenshin's father want to make sure every one of his son's were prepared to take over just incase they were killed in battle? Obviously that's exactly what happened, right?" _Well, except for one of them, I suppose._ Thinking of Tenshi and what Saitou had told her the week before, Kaoru shook her head to refocus her train of thought.

"Obviously, but Master Izo was a very cunning and… manipulative man, not to mention there were… occurrences that changed much of the line of heritage. After Master Shinta and Lord Tenshi died things were left for Lord Isamu, but while Master Izo had no problem leaving everything to his third son, it was widely known that Lord Isamu would never produce an heir to follow him."

Unable to think of a reason why not, Kaoru's brow curled in thought. "Why wouldn't he? Was he… sterile or something?"

Openly laughing, Megumi's eyes looked her over in amusement. "No, well, I don't suppose he was. Lord Isamu just… didn't fancy women."

Shocked, Kaoru's eyes went wide. "You mean he…?" Shrugging, Megumi acted like it was old news. _Though I suppose it is. Really old news._

"Lord Isamu adamantly refused to take a wife, and since he was third in line, Master Izo must have thought it was too much trouble to make him. So by the time his oldest two sons were gone, it seemed a little late to be reconsidering."

"Well, why wouldn't there have already been children? I mean, how old was everyone when all of this started happening?"

"Hmm, I'll have to think about that one… let's see, I think Master Shinta was twenty-seven when he died, which would have made Lord Kenshin seventeen, since they were ten years apart. Lord Tenshi was three years younger than Master Shinta, so he was twenty-four, and Lord Isamu would have been twenty-two. Lady Yumi would have been twenty-one, but she was already married off at fifteen to Master Shishio, the neighboring lord to the North. Her mother, Lady Miaka, went with her because she was too attached to her daughter to let her go alone. Since Master Izo had four other wives I don't think he cared, as long as her family still honored their ties.

"To answer your question, though, Master Shinta and his wife had a hard time conceiving a child and she was actually pregnant with their first when they both died. Lord Tenshi did have a wife, too, but I don't think he was ever with her enough to get her pregnant. He was far too busy with his bed warmers, and once he died she went with his mother, Lady Kira, back to her family. The only one of Master Izo's children that had kids was Lady Yumi, and after Lord Isamu became the new heir, Master Izo officially decided that if anything were to happen to him and his third son… everything would go to her and her husband, not Lord Kenshin."

"But why?" Such a thing was nearly unheard of, even for her, a daughter of a dojo master that had been named his successor. Everyone she had ever met thought it disgraceful to name a woman an heir, even if she was an only child. In Kenshin's situation, having his sister, even an older sister, inherit their father's lands before him was not done.

"Master Izo never wanted Lord Kenshin to be in a position where he would have to think past the orders he was given by his superiors. If he were to be expected to rule, then he would have to understand more than Master Izo wanted him to. Lord Kenshin was raised solely for battle, milady."

"How awful. It doesn't even sound like he was ever given a choice."

"No, milady, as I said, Master Izo never wanted him to even know he had a choice. He was to follow orders without question and without hesitation." Kaoru looked amazingly sad, and Megumi felt an uncharacteristic stab of regret for telling her. The new lady had only been there a few months, and while everyone had been afraid to tell her anything about their old lives before, since the lord was now speaking freely to her about whatever she asked, no one questioned his reasoning. Everyone was more relaxed now, knowing that they were allowed to say what they wanted, and in some ways felt encouraged to talk to her. She was a sensitive child, though, and her heart showed every twinge of sympathy she felt directly in her dark blue eyes.

"I have heard, though, milady, that Lady Kinuko would not allow her son to be uneducated in manners, and during her instruction she quietly made sure he would also be intelligent in his own right. So he is not as bad off as Master Izo would have liked him to be, but he was never given a chance to utilize that intelligence. Even when he was landed with the title of master, he has lived under the thumb of his father for so long, he is, I would nearly say, too frightened to think outside the small world of life and death he was caged within."

Kaoru stood for awhile, absorbing the information, before a wry smile tugged at her mouth. "Those are quite the in-depth assumptions, Megumi-sensei. Are you sure you're not a counselor as well as a doctor?"

"Well," Preening herself, she sat a little straighter. "I have read some books. Really, milady, what else do you think there has been to do around this place for the last thousand years?"

Laughing as she was supposed to, Kaoru rolled her shoulders as they began to cramp. "So what happened to his sister, Lady Yumi? If she was supposed to inherit the palace before him, then where is she? She didn't get killed, too, did she?" Almost unwilling to ask, she looked away out over the yard.

"No, Lady Yumi lived to old age, I suppose; her and her husband and her children, for all I know. Everything happened very quickly after Master Izo and Lord Isamu died in battle. You see… it wasn't long after their deaths that we were all turned into animals and Lord Kenshin was changed into his current form. By that time, there was no one left in the palace but the three men. Lady Kinuko was already long past three years prior, two of Master Izo's wives had left, and the other two he had sent himself to their families to demand more backing. So when the master and his heir both died, Lord Kenshin was the only master left to us, and since we were made into as we are… we really had no choice but to look to him for protection and leadership."

"Do you mean, no one really wanted Kenshin to be their master? They only followed him because they had no other choice?"

Sighing, Megumi flipped her tail to the other side. "You must understand, Lady Kaoru, it was a very confusing time. No one really knew what was going to happen next after Master Shinta was killed, and then to be transformed into animals for reasons we were not even aware of… Most of us had been servants since birth, and to be without a lord was panic inducing. Lord Kenshin was not who we had expected, and he was still quite young as well, but he was still the son of our master, and if he did not take over rule of the palace, then who would? Lady Yumi? Once she saw a palace full of talking animals, she would have had all of us killed."

"I don't understand. You make it sound like Kenshin would have been the worst possible choice for a leader, obviously not because of any fault of his own, but still… how is it that he has earned such respect now, even when he refuses to deal with the problems a leader must?"

Megumi finally smiled, a fox smile that showed the razor sharp teeth of her small muzzle in a flash of white. "I knew you would see that, milady. You have a strange ability to dig up the good. While Lord Kenshin may not have the confidence to deal with his people under normal circumstances, he has unknowingly developed a characteristic that even his father was unaware of, or never recognized. Good thing, too, because he would have wasted no time in snuffing it out."

The fox paused and Kaoru shook her hand, eagerly impatient. "Well, what is it?"

"An inherent need to protect. Any time our palace was ever threatened with a crisis, he has stepped up as the master we all needed. One such example… when Master Shishio came to the palace to claim what belonged to him through Lady Yumi. I think it was about three months after we were transformed, and the lord was never seen leaving his old rooms during that time. No one knew how we were going to survive, what we needed to do, and everyone feared the outside world's discovery of our weakness. Master Izo had made many enemies, and without an army to protect our lands, we were vulnerable to attack. Lord Kenshin didn't seem to care what we did. He didn't seem to care for anything, and when Master Shishio came through the front gate demanding Lord Kenshin relinquish his rights to the palace, Lord Kenshin did not even stir to respond."

"_My lord! My lord, please! Master Shishio from the north is here, demanding to see you!"_

"The palace guard was still active, however, and luckily many of them were turned into predatory animals. It was decided that since Lord Kenshin was not going to make an appearance that something else needed to be done. If Master Shishio were to take over the palace then we would have no where to live. He would either drive us all out and assume the servants who were supposed to be there had simply abandoned the place, or had us all killed, or perhaps a little of both. So the guard attacked. Master Shishio's small entourage was surprised at first, but they had actual weapons and a few of our guards were wounded… a couple were killed."

_Panicked screams filled the air; the mighty roar of a lion; the injured screeched of an elephant._

"_My lord… please… your people need you."_

"We lost one innocent." The fox's cinnamon eyes looked down, remembering a day far removed from Kaoru's peaceful life. "She was a sweet, naïve maid who worked with the laundry crew. She tried to plead with Master Shishio to stop hurting the palace men, but she never thought of the consequences such an action would create. As soon as she spoke the look on his face changed. I remember him dismounting from his horse, and walking calmly toward her…" Eyes clenching shut as if to block the mental image, Megumi gasped in a breath as a soft hand touched her back. "It was her scream I think that did it, because the next moment defined the outcome of Master Shishio's visit."

_Shishio's dark eyes widened, his feet staggering back as a monster as red as blood stepped off the palace walkway. Deep crimson hair was pulled into a high ponytail, golden horns shone on his head, leather wings twitched at his back, and an angry snarl jerked at his lip. The creature was unlike anything he had ever seen, and for a brief moment Shishio wondered if it wasn't death in physical form come to reap vengeance upon a house that had taken his job for their own._

_Tripping back, he was vaguely aware of the startled shouts of his men, the frightened whines of the horses, but could not look away as the beast angled its steps straight for him._

_In one quick motion its clawed fingers were wrapped around his throat, a reflexive gag choking his windpipe, and then his feet were leaving the ground. With inhuman strength, he was held high over its head where it frowned in terrible fury._

"_This palace is now mine. No one of this world can claim it from me."_

_Nodding hurriedly, Shishio agreed. "Of course, I meant no disrespect."_

"_You killed one of my servants. I feel disrespected." Growling, his grip tightened._

"_Forgive me, my lord. I was not awar…" Choking as he was cut off, Shishio struggled against his assailant, both hands circling his one wrist._

"_I will take one of yours." Looking around the suspended lord, his hair twitched, and the lion vaulted across one of the horses to latch onto its rider. Dragging his screaming form to the ground, he ripped out his throat for a quick death. "Be glad that I did not require your life." Sitting him down roughly, the palace lord shoved him back into the dirt. "Be gone from here, before I change my mind."_

_Rubbing his throat, Shishio crab-walked backwards, his eyes never leaving the strange golden ones of the beast. "What… have you done with the people who were living here?"_

_Sharply its attention returned, its vertical pupils looking him over as it paused before giving a reply. "I have drained all the human blood from this palace." The northern master's face went pale, his throat working to swallow down a surge of bile. A wicked smile pulled at the creature's lips, a look caught halfway between disgust and amusement. "My appetite has been well sated… for now. I cannot vouch for the next twenty-four hours, however. Tonight, I think, I will have to search for something nearby to appease my hunger."_

"Kenshin said that?" Blinking wide eyes, Kaoru let out a breath. "I bet that freaked him out."

"I've never seen anyone leave so fast. It was like watching that mutt disappear when his debts are called in." Rubbing one paw over her ear, Megumi forced out a single cheerless laugh. "We never saw him again, or anyone else for that matter. It was quick thinking on the lord's part, and it only solidifies the fact that he can be as intelligent as he needs to be for any given situation. Spreading such an idea through the mind's of those outside our world was more potent than anything he could have tried physically. Unfortunately he has never developed that intelligence outside of life or death circumstances."

"It kind of amazes me, though. To think Kenshin was responsible for his own false rumor. His words are the direct cause of all the stories I have heard growing up."

"Yes." Mood turning amused, Megumi shook her head with a grin. "Though I haven't quite figured out when they started claiming he only ate children. They're so small, what good would they do anyone to eat?"

Both women burst into laughter, the happy sounds echoing down the covered walks, and it wasn't long before an answering cadence of footfalls followed. Smiling as she recognized Kenshin, Kaoru glanced behind her.

"Well, it seems Lord Kenshin has come looking for his lady. Our conversation has come to its conclusion." Turning to trot off in the opposite direction, Megumi paused when Kaoru called after her.

"Wait, Megumi-sensei…" Hand outstretched, she shot another look over her shoulder before lowering her voice. "I want to help Kenshin. Can you… help me do that?" Dropping her arm and blushing, she shrugged helplessly. "I don't know anything about what it takes to run a palace."

"Don't be silly, milady. You are well liked here at the palace. There is not one of us under the lord's rule who would not provide the assistance you need. Besides, we will be in your debt if you succeed in teaching him. And when you're finished," Heading around the corner, she sarcastically threw out a quip to lighten the mood. "maybe you can beat some sense into that mutt."

Grinning, Kaoru looked up at Kenshin as he stopped beside her. "Who were you talking to, Kaoru-dono?"

"Megumi-sensei, she was just… giving me some advice. Where have you been?" Slipping an arm through his, she angled him back down the veranda to stroll towards the dining hall.

"I was introducing Yahiko-kun to his new superiors." Following without hesitation, he explained in an offhand manner. "His leg is still sore, but it will not stop him from learning other things."

"A warrior must be intelligent." Nodding knowingly, Kaoru peeked at him from out of the corner of her eye.

"Yes, my lady, a warrior must."

"And a master must be even more so. Which reminds me," Smiling over the frown that briefly tugged his lips, she squeezed his arm. "Yutarou-san wishes for an audience with you…"

X

A/N: There wasn't much Kenshin in this chapter. How sad. Ah well, it was needed. Now that I've got his family history out of the way, I can start actually getting into the curse. Yipee! Plus this was a major setup for the next needed chapter, and… poor Tae. Her man's not much better than Kenshin in the brains department, although he does have reason to be afraid, since all of his paintings have only ever brought despair. Taking it back was one thing, though, not arguing with her when she took it the wrong way is another. Here we go again with this undeserving male stuff. Oh, and I left Yumi and Shishio alive, so in some far off place, Kenshin may have far removed nieces and nephews. What a fun thought. Well, not much else I need to say. Thanks for the reviews, and all the speculation is great. I'm glad I've got a few of you thinking. Please leave a review for me here, and thanks again. See you in the next chapter.


	21. Master Training

Yeah, Kenshin's dad was a big creep. The more I write his character, the less I like him. But then again, he's supposed to be an unlikable character, so I guess I did alright. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and here you go for this one. Nice and long and fun.

Disclaimer: I am my own master and no one else's… except for my cats, but that's more a mother thing. lol

**Chapter 21: Master Training**

"Here. Katsu sent it right over." Dropping the thick scroll in front of Kaoru, Sano flopped down as if he had done more work than he was used to.

"Great! This will be a big help." Untying the ribbon holding it closed, Kaoru unrolled the thick paper and smiled. "Katsu-san really is gifted. He even painted the gardens and the rice fields."

"Hmph. I'm sure it's even an accurate size model, too." Mumbling, Sano sniffed as the sweet aroma of hot tea wafted across his nostrils. "That man has an obsession with detail." Lifting his head he watched Tae walk in, mahogany irises eying the sweet cakes loaded onto the tea tray.

"I'll agree with that." Studying the map, Kaoru realized just how big the palace city really was. It was easy to miss parts of it, as it was overgrown with vegetation, but to have their own rice fields and livestock pins as well as private and public gardens. The size was simply breathtaking. It was a little strange to think of them tending to animals, not to mention killing and eating those animals, but she had to keep reminding herself that they were human, only in a different form.

Still, the sheer magnitude of simply learning everything that went on in the daily lives of the people living in or behind the palace overwhelmed Kaoru's mind. No wonder Kenshin wanted nothing to do with the everyday problems. It was daunting just thinking about it. Even still, Kaoru had set out on a mission to help Kenshin become an even better master than he already was, and she wasn't going to quit. If she quit than he would too.

Placing the map aside, she slid her eyes over the rest of the papers piled up around her, her voice offhand when she spoke. "Why didn't Katsu-san bring the map himself? I was hoping to ask him some questions about the layout." Blue eyes jerked to the cook as she fumbled with a tea cup, its fine porcelain rattling against the tray.

"He hasn't really come out of his room in a few days." Shrugging, Sano braced himself up on his front paws, anxious to see if he was going to get a cake or not. "I don't think he's feeling well."

_That's strange. I didn't think anyone could get sick. Just to be safe…_ "Why don't you take him some of that soup you made for me, Tae-san. I'm sure that would make him feel better."

Tae held the now empty tray to her chest and nodded, her eyes downcast. "I shall send some over, milady."

Disappointed, Sano flopped back down and tried to look as pitiful as possible when none of the sweets were offered to him. "Oh sure, waste your time doting on him when all it'll do is encourage the faker." Rolling her eyes, Kaoru held out a saucer and let him gleefully chomp the entire slice of cake into his mouth.

"At least, Sanosuke, he has a job around here that is executed quickly and efficiently whenever he is called upon." Turning, Kaoru grinned at Kenshin as he walked into the room she was occupying. "I have not seen you do a day's work since I became master."

Looking suitably ashamed, Sano forced himself not to lick the remaining flavor of sugar from his upper lip and stood with his tail tucking between his legs. "That would be my cue to leave, Lady Kaoru. Uh… don't hesitate to ask for anything else." Darting a glance at the master as he spoke, he was relieved to see him nod in approval. _You won't be so thrilled when you find out what she's up to. _Hiding his smirk, Sano exited through the still open shoji.

"You're just in time, Kenshin." Pulling on his sleeve to get him to sit next to her, Kaoru scooted over to make room. "Maybe you can help me out." Turning her attention to Tae, she waved a hand. "Do you have an extra cup for Kenshin?"

"No, milady, but I will fetch one right away."

"Thanks." A soft chuckle to her left brought her eyes back to the lord, and Kaoru frowned. "What's so amusing?"

"I see it has become remarkably easy for you to order my servants around."

Mouth dropping open, Kaoru jerked her head around to call after Tae before the door could close between them. "Did that come out like an order? I didn't mean for it to. I can go get one myself."

A small smile touched her lips and Tae held up a detaining hand to keep her from standing all the way to her feet. "You asked only a simple question, and besides, it is my job to serve you, is it not? I do not mind."

Kenshin was really laughing now, his shoulders quivering as he tried to hold in the noise, and Kaoru turned with a pout to smack him. "You shouldn't tease me like that, it wasn't funny."

"My apologies." Unable to stop, Kenshin watched helplessly as her pout became more prominent. "It was just too easy." Grinding his jaw to keep from laughing harder, he gestured at the map and other papers in front of her. "What was it you needed help with, Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru was not convinced he was done making fun of her, or that he was completely repentant for it either, but she had to admit that seeing him laugh was nice. He needed to laugh more often, she decided, because it changed his entire demeanor. There was hardly a trace of the menacing master she had at one time seen while he was caught in such mirth. It was in the strange way his pupils widened, softening the vertical slits until they were almost round and giving his dragon-like form a more human visage. It was also in the comfortable way he reacted, his replies and posture natural.

It had been easy to tell how hard he had struggled to simply carry on a conversation with her in the beginning, as if he was not used to having anyone speak to him on a personal level. The knowledge had saddened her, but at the same time it had made her happy, because at least he was trying. On another level she knew he hadn't trusted her yet, either, or trusted what would happen if she ever found out his secrets.

She still didn't know everything that had happened. Despite Saitou's words of warning, Kaoru could tell he had left out certain details about the events surrounding the deaths of Kenshin's brothers. She knew the basic outline, though, and it was enough to give her an idea of the rest. Imagination could fill in those holes, and after it was all said and done, Kaoru thought she understood a little of the pain that hid behind his golden eyes.

Deciding to let his mocking humor slide this once, Kaoru shook her head with a sigh and picked up a stack of papers. "It's only if you're not busy. I don't want to keep you from any duties you have."

An indifferent roll of one shoulder was her reply, and she hid her frown. "I have finished my… duties for the day, so my free time I shall give to you."

"Oh…" A bit disappointed, Kaoru reminded herself of everything Megumi and her had discussed. _Being the master makes him uncomfortable because he doesn't know what he's doing. Strange after a thousand years, but nothing that will change if he keeps avoiding any learning experiences that might help him out. Remember, he's a guy, and he's a samurai, if he hasn't been previously trained, he won't like humbling himself in front of those he considers his inferiors. What was that saying about teaching old dogs new tricks?_

A look crossed his face, shrinking his enlarged pupils back to cold vertical slits. "If you did not truly wish for my presence you should have said so. You do not have to humor me."

Yelping, Kaoru grabbed his arm, putting all of her weight into keeping him seated. _More comfortable around me he may be, but he's still way too defensive and touchy._ "What gave you that idea? I asked for your help didn't I?" Still struggling to hold him down, his stronger form pulling her up to her knees, Kaoru tugged with an angry grunt. "Would you sit back down!" Overbalancing, they landed with a loud thump on the tatami mats, her legs caught halfway underneath his. Thigh muscles throbbing from where he had accidentally sat on her, she tightened her grip on his arm, her fingers slipping loose, and then she was flailing around as her upper body yanked backward with the excess momentum. Shoulder blades hitting with more force than she was ready for, all the air in her lungs wheezed out of her, and she limply dropped her head on top of a stack of her neatly organized papers.

Soft rustling filled the silence, and she mournfully rolled her head to the side to watch her carefully collected information scatter to the four corners of the room. Sighing, she lifted her chin to look at Kenshin, her position making it seem as if he were further away than he actually was. Having caught himself on his elbows, he was stretched perpendicular to her own splayed form, his legs sprawled over the top of her own, his wings the main culprit of the scattered documents. The large width of his golden irises were stretched wide, the expression on his face pure shock, and he was staring at her as if waiting for tears, anger, or both.

It was such an unguarded reaction, such an unexpected occurrence, that Kaoru couldn't help it… she burst into laughter. Shaking with the force of her hilarity, she relaxed her head back to the floor and crossed her arms over her chest to stall the sharp pains jabbing at her ribs. Expectantly she waited for his indignity, knowing she would have to apologize and then explain herself, but only a few seconds later and the deeper reverberation of his own amusement joined in. Apparently too relieved to take anything the wrong way, he had decided to share her moment of delight.

Untangling herself, Kaoru sat up, accepting his helping hand for support. "Are you alright, Kaoru-dono? I'm afraid I landed on top of you." There was a hint of contriteness in his tone, but it was drowned out by the low chuckles working up the back of his throat.

"_I'm _afraid I broke your tail." Gently bending her knees, she rolled them to one side, a confining action made so by her kimono. Blushing as she realized she was still halfway sitting on the thin red length, she quickly scooted back to let it jolt free. "Does it hurt?"

Amusement quieting until only an involuntary smile was left as evidence, he pulled the end of his tail over his crossed legs and experimentally checked it over. Kaoru could tell the action was more for show, however, as he answered her too quickly for an accurate assessment. "No. You shouldn't worry. It's surprisingly resilient."

Leaning reflexively forward as if getting closer would help her to better tell if he was indeed injured, Kaoru jerked when his tail unexpectedly twitched, the red tuft of hair at its tip brushing her face. Surprised, Kaoru giggled, glancing up suspiciously to see if he had done that on purpose. There was a fishy glint in his eyes that confirmed the theory, and she gave him a slanted look that warned him she had caught on.

But then something strange happened.

The friendly atmosphere of camaraderie that enveloped them shifted just enough to melt the smile off her face. An abrupt seed of anxiety planted itself within her stomach, and she felt nervous and suspenseful as if expecting something to happen. Butterflies fluttered around the base of her ribs, her eyelids suddenly felt incredibly heavy, and it took her a moment to realize she wasn't breathing. Blinking at the foreign reaction, wondering what had come over her, she swallowed as a mixture of confusion and concern slowly drowned the mirth in his eyes.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Grasping at a breath to ease the fear of suffocation, she sat back and turned away. "Uh…" Stuttering as the effects hung on gamely, she brushed at her bangs compulsively, wincing as her fingers caught in a few snarls. Searching for something to distract his attention so she could collect herself, she forcefully stopped trying to rip her hair out and reached for the papers closest to her. "We made quite the mess." Sighing as she found the statement to be more than true, the alien cloud of anxiety was swept away by a breeze of ruefulness. "It'll take me forever to sort it all back out."

"Not if I help, I suppose, though you will have to explain what exactly all of this is for me to understand just what you were doing."

_Perfect!_ Pleased that he had hopped on board so easily, Kaoru's answering smile was broad. "Great! It might even make it easier for you to help me with what I was originally going to ask about."

"What in the world happened?"

Kaoru glanced over to see Tae standing in the doorway, an extra tea cup as well as a few more sweets piled on her tray. Shaking her head as tan eyes scanned the disaster inside, Kaoru waved the question off. "It would be too difficult to explain." Giggling as the image popped back in her head, Kaoru shot a glance at Kenshin. "Besides, it's not quite as funny without a visual."

"I do not feel like repeating the incident, Kaoru-dono." His overly dignified remark set Kaoru off into another fit of giggles, and Tae merely shook her head as she sat the second tray down. "Well, at least you didn't knock over the tea."

Tae soon left to begin the preparations for dinner, and Kaoru took a sip of the tea before it cooled as she watched Kenshin idly finger the few documents nearest to him. There was the barest hint of a frown developing on his forehead as his eyes scanned the text written on each sheet of paper, and Kaoru anxiously awaited the mood he would settle on.

"Is there a reason you are interested in the yield of our rice fields, Kaoru-dono?"

"Ah, well…" Letting out a breath, she sat her tea cup down and picked up a paper next her. "I'm actually quite curious about more than just that. You have just about every resource you need to survive here." Fluttering the paper, she referenced a chart of raw ore the blacksmith had painstakingly recorded. "It fascinates me that all of this has been here this entire time, for over a thousand years, and no one has ever known it. I'm curious to know how everything has run so smoothly, and I thought it would be great to get to know all of the people, too. Just how is everything decided? Why are there two rice fields when one of them is more than big enough to feed the entire city?" Randomly listing a few of her questions, she blinked when Kenshin sat down his papers to reach for more, his answer offhand, slow at first, but gaining a trace of confidence.

"We have to alternate the use of the rice fields, otherwise…" He paused, as if trying to remember. "you will overwork the soil and the rice yield will be poor and unhealthy."

"Really. I suppose that makes sense. Is that done with the grazing grounds for the livestock as well?"

"Yes, but the amount of time is not as extended. It takes little time for the grass to grow back, but the hay fields have to be alternated as well, otherwise there would not be enough hay to feed the livestock during the winter."

"Hmm." Truly interested now, and wanting to keep his dialogue going, Kaoru scooted closer. "So how do you decide how to ration out the rice and meat? Is it decided by rank, or do you take into account the number of residents living in each home?"

Deep creases formed on either side of his mouth, his eyes lowering as the silence stretched. "…Half of all the yield used to come to the palace. A quarter went to those of rank living in the palace city, the rest went to the commoners and servants."

Trying to work out the numbers in her head, Kaoru suddenly wished she had had the chance to look over the population sheet she had requested. "I may be wrong, but that doesn't sound like enough to be feeding everyone. I mean…" Biting her lip when he glanced up at her, a serious expression on his features, she continued tentatively. "Perhaps more food would have been needed here at the palace when you had a large family living here, but now there's only you. And just how many noble families live in the city? It would be a shame if there is food being wasted when there are others who are having a hard time feeding themselves."

"You are right, Kaoru-dono." He spoke as if slightly upset, and when he stood Kaoru was afraid he was going to run off. She hated that his first instinct was to avoid any issues, but knew it was an unfortunate side-effect of the emotional shutdown he had undergone.

Tugging open the shoji, Kenshin poked his head through the crevice to search the surrounding hallway. It was a sharp stab at his pride that she would notice something so fundamental after only a brief conversation, and he did not especially like the look her conclusion had created in her eyes, either. After everything that had happened to reassure him that she was not going to simply flee because of the small amount of his past she was now aware of, and recreating a friendship that was somehow stronger than before, he hated to think something he had ignored for a thousand years would anger her. It would be fixed, and immediately.

Spotting a small hedgehog lounging in a corner, bored and looking quite put out, Kenshin widened the shoji to step partially down onto the wooden floor. "Musashino." Its small head jerked up, eyes bright and eager. "I need you to locate Kamatari and bring him here. Make sure he doesn't dawdle."

"Yes, milord." Gone before the words made it fully down the hall, Kenshin's frown turned a bit puzzled before he stepped back inside.

"Who's Musashino? I don't think I've met him, yet."

Nearly glad for the change in subject, Kenshin stepped carefully over the disarray and sat next to her once again. "I was in need of another runner after I transferred Yahiko to the guards. He is very impatient, but that energy will be good for sending him on errands."

"Oh, hey, I didn't get to ask about your meeting with Yutarou-san."

Kenshin let out a long breath. The boy had been very clever by going to Kaoru first. It made it that much harder to refuse to see him. Since Kaoru was the one to deliver the boy's request, he could hardly deny the boy an audience and then have to deal with her questioning later about the outcome. She was nothing if not curious, the scattered papers and maps around her suggested that, and if she were to find out that he never even let the boy ask for his request to enter the guards, she would want to know why.

To be truthful, there were far more reasons to refuse his audience than a simple desire not to be bothered. The boy's last name for one: who his father was; what his father had done; the reaction that churned heavily, angrily in his gut when he thought of what those actions had caused. To be fair, Tsukayama Yuzàemon had never pledged his loyalty to Shinta, and could therefore not be accused of being a traitor. He had, however, pledged his loyalty to Izo. All of the nobles living under his care had, and that meant, in Kenshin's mind, that they were all pledged to Shinta, as well, since he was meant to be the new master. It didn't matter that they would all be required to renew that vow once the new master was officially sworn in. It would be done, and it would mean sentencing by death if a noble were ever to be found going against their oath.

Tsukayama had received that death, by Kenshin's own hand, as well as the other few nobles that had decided to follow Tenshi in his scheming plans to take over as the new heir and eventual master. Only a handful of people ever knew why they were killed, or even that they were killed by a friendly blade. Just as Shinta's death had been recorded as killed on the battlefield, so too had theirs. Now those handful of people had dwindled down to two; himself and Saitou. Not even the boy or his mother had been made aware of the actions their father and husband had committed. Which was why he had been so surprised by the boy's words during their meeting.

"_Lady Kaoru made an accusation that I wish to clear up. It was a fair question, but one I do not want you to dwell on. I do not want to join the palace guard simply because Yahiko has been allowed the honor. Perhaps a part of me wants to prove that he is no better than I am, but I have more important reasons." The yellowish tan of the puma's eyes stared seriously up into his own, and Kenshin was slightly irritated once again by his arrogant nature._

"_My lord, I understand why it is you do not like me." A short breath puffed through his nostrils, gathering his courage. "My mother informed me about my father and the way he really died." Clawed hands fisted by Kenshin's side, trembling, and he knew the glare on his face was the direct cause of the slow crouch the boy was ducking into. "I have believed my entire life that my father was a man to be proud of, but it was all a lie. I now feel only shame. Shame for a man that preached to me of loyalties. Shame for the name he has tainted with his dishonorable deeds. Please, my lord, all I wish for is a chance to bring honor to my family's name once more."_

_Kenshin was silent for a long space of time, trying to find an ounce of dishonesty in his gaze. The longer he stared, however, the more he realized that it was not arrogance that helped him to look so boldly into his master's eyes, but earnestness. "I know I can never take back what it was he did, but I do not want, either, to live in his shadow. I am not my father, and my father is not me."_

"Well, Kenshin?" Her hand was soft on his shoulder, relaxing the tension in his muscles. "How did it go?

"The decision is not fully mine." Looking away, he searched without seeing the multitude of information strewn around him. "I plan on speaking with the unit leaders tomorrow… to see what they think."

"But you think he will be a good addition?"

"Perhaps." Shrugging nonchalantly, he returned to collecting the sheets. "I have my reservations since I do not know if he even has any skill, but… I do believe his intentions are in the right place."

Lifting a brow, Kaoru huffed a laugh. "You mean competing with Yahiko? I would have thought that was last thing you'd want in your personal guard."

"A little competition is not necessarily bad, Kaoru-dono. It will encourage both of them to be better than they are if they have someone to compete with. It is a much better competition than winning over a girl's heart, anyway. In this fight, both will win and not even be aware of it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Kenshin." Tugging on his sleeve, she laughed softly. "That's why you're the master, though, I suppose. If it would have been up to me, I probably would have let him join, but not for any of the right reasons."

"And what reasons were those?"

"Simply because he asked, because he wants to better himself."

"Those are not necessarily wrong either, Kaoru-dono." She smiled again, turning her attention back to the mess, and he sighed wistfully as he watched. "Do you think… it is possible for someone to restore lost honor to their name?"

Blinking over at him, she tilted her head, studying the faraway sheen in his eyes. "Of course I do, Kenshin." Slowly his eyes sharpened, focusing on hers. "I am a firm believer in second chances."

"I found him, Lord Kenshin." Musashino's eager voice cut through the rice paper, and Kenshin nodded his head, accepting Kaoru's remark, before calling his servant in.

"You summoned me, young lord?"

Kaoru blinked as the most colorful peacock she had ever seen hopped up with a flutter of wings into the room. From his beak to his tail feathers his color was glossy, as if he was fanatically attuned to his appearance, and Kaoru struggled to remember if it was the male or female peacock that was prettier. _Wasn't it the male?_

"Yes, Kamatari, come in, I have a few questions." Glancing at Kenshin, Kaoru blinked again as his voice came out sounding a bit gruffer than usual.

"I live but to serve you, my lord." Imitating what looked like a curtsy, with the way his wings spread out and down and his legs bent, Kaoru was in serious question over whether her first assumption about peacocks was correct.

"I need your records on the ratio of food rationing."

"Of course, my lord, but if you are wanting a copy for the little lady, I already sent one with Tae to give to her. It should have been a part of the food records and daily consumption listings she brought to you." Turning his attention to Kaoru, his glassy eyes looked her up and down, and for a moment Kaoru seriously felt like he was sizing her up. _If I didn't know any better, I'd say this little peacock was challenging me._

"The lady was not asking. I was." His voice was definitely bordering rude now, and Kaoru couldn't help the lift of her brow.

"Well of course you were. Only you would summon me directly to do your… bidding… ne, young lord?"

The familiar irritation Kenshin always felt with Kamatari's disturbing flirtations deepened another few notches, but his determination to deal with the matter professionally still remained. He did not want to cause a scene in front of Kaoru. So when a quiet cough/snicker came from her direction, he was unable to keep from turning to her incredulously. Covering her mouth with a hand, she was undoubtedly laughing, and it sparked his annoyance into anger.

"Dammit, Kamatari, if you do not produce the information I have requested in thirty seconds I will have Tae informed the menu for tonight has been changed to peacock."

"Now, now, my lord, you know very well I don't mind being on your menu for the evening."

Kaoru's giggles were increasing, her face a bright red from trying to hold it in, and Kenshin knew it was only encouraging the idiotic peacock. Anger tinged with a hint of alien embarrassment clenched his jaw shut, and his fingers twitched, itching to choke the man's scrawny neck until he couldn't breathe let alone speak.

"I am reaching the end of my patience, Kamatari." Voice growling in warning, he jerked when Kaoru's hand touched his arm.

"Wait, Kenshin. If what he said is true, then I should have the chart around here somewhere. Just give me a few seconds to look for it." Face still lit with merriment, her lips twitching on a smile, she coaxed him into relaxing. Nodding as the only reply he could give, he resisted the urge to glare as the peacock transferred his attention to Kaoru.

"Goodness, my dear, this is quite the mess."

"Well, there was kind of a mishap."

"Really? Between just you and the young lord? Have you two have been in here… all alone?"

Shrugging, her attention focused on the writing decorating the pages she was flipping through, Kaoru agreed. "Yeah."

"You mean, my dear, you have no chaperone to protect your innocence from this savage man?" Sounding overly shocked, one wing came up to cover his open mouth.

Attention finally caught, Kaoru looked up at the peacock, over to Kenshin who's eyes were closed and perhaps praying for something, and then back. Frowning, she gestured vaguely upwards. "It's the middle of the day."

"Oh but it appears you have already had to struggle against him once to save yourself."

"What? This was an accident."

"So you think, my dear, but you shouldn't underestimate the desperation of a man when in the presence of beautiful creatures such as ourselves."

Smothering a groan, Kenshin dropped his forehead into the palm of one hand. Kaoru was giggling again.

"Yes, I know my lord, I have ruined your plans to have this young lady all to yourself, but you shouldn't fret. You know I am free to be used in whatever way you need."

Kenshin had finally had enough, his hand coming down on his knee with a smack as the thin slits of his eyes glared across the room. "Kamatari, if you say one more inappropriate word in front of the lady, I will have you fed to the wolves not currently living within the palace walls."

"Oh come now, young lord, you know you couldn't really get rid of me. I'm too pretty."

Thinking the look on his face suggested he was more than willing to back up his threat, Kaoru gratefully snatched at a paper and held it up. _It's just a miracle I found the right one in time._ "Here it is!"

Still trembling with rage, Kenshin took the paper with one final glare at the peacock. Glancing over the numbers, he had to close his eyes and take a calming breath before he could even see straight enough to decipher them. "You've changed the ratios."

"Uh… yes my lord… it was necessary to tweak them a bit." For the first time Kamatari sounded worried, and Kaoru scooted closer to look over Kenshin's shoulder.

"If I am reading this correctly, you have cut the number down considerably to the common sections and sent the excess to the palace. How is that necessary?"

"Well, my lord, there are many residents that were, ah, changed into herbivorous creatures, so their digestive systems are not able to handle the consumption of meat in any form. Because of the major cut back in the demand of meat, we decided that the excess would go into our backup storage here at the palace."

"But what about the other families that do eat meat?" Cutting in, Kaoru braced a hand against Kenshin's back as she leaned forward to see over his wings. "If you want to be technical, carnivorous animals are the same when it comes to eating plants. Their digestive systems can't handle it as well either, and so they would require more meat in their diet. You can't really expect them to live off of the same ration of rice, meat, and vegetables when you weren't really giving them enough to begin with."

Seeming just a bit hesitant, Kamatari bowed his head, his voice mildly softer. "Yes, my lady, I am very much aware of that, but…" His eyes glanced to Kenshin. "I am merely able to do as I was ordered… I have overstepped my bounds as it is."

"You should have overstepped it further than that." Just a bit disgusted, Kenshin couldn't help but think of the light weight resting against him. _If she were running this place, she would never have allowed such negligence. I will have to do better than this if I am to keep any of her respect._

"My lord?"

"Why have you not…?" Growling, he answered the question before it was fully formed. _He said nothing because you wanted to hear nothing._ "From now on, Kamatari, the food shall be rationed according to demand, and not rank. I will want a new chart drawn up as quickly as possible and brought to me for approval, and in the future if we are having any problems feeding _my_ people, you will bring the issue to me immediately."

Silence descended, Kamatari's glassy eyes blinking in slow disbelief.

"Is that understood?" Impatient and irritable now for other reasons, Kenshin snapped a bit harshly.

"Yes, my lord. Perfectly. I will… get to work on that right away." Strutting like the peacock he was for the door, Kamatari looked over Kenshin's shoulder and winked at Kaoru, her smile widening. Hopping back out into the hallway, he turned with a sudden thought and kicked the small hedgehog up into the room. "Now don't forget your chaperone you two. I don't want any funny business going on while I'm not here to watch." Landing with an oomph, the hedgehog jumped up, his eyes wide and looking quite like he would rather be anywhere else.

"Kamatari…" The door slid shut on whatever warning Kenshin was going to give, and Kaoru felt him relax with a defeated sigh, no doubt rolling his eyes at the same time. Though amused with the peacock's perverted personality, Kaoru did feel a bit annoyed with his innuendos. _Really, he's way worse than Sanosuke._ Another part of her knew she could get along with him just fine. _Besides, he said I was beautiful. It's not everyday a girl gets complimented._ Willing to let his suggestive comments slide, she stepped away from Kenshin and leaned forward to offer the hedgehog some of the sweets and tea.

Kenshin, on the other hand, had already forgotten all about Kamatari's troublesome meddling and improper conduct. His mind was focused elsewhere. The more he looked over the papers scattered around him, the more he realized Kaoru was interested in most everything he had tried to ignore. What if there were other problems just like this one that she was in danger of discovering? What kind of impression would that give to her about his ability to be the master he kept insisting he was? _Insist is not really the word. Pretend. Yes, that is much more adept at defining my actions. I have been pretending for a thousand years. My… act… has merely become more in depth now that I have someone I wish to believe it is true. I have done nothing, and she is going to discover that sooner or later._

"Were you saying earlier, Kaoru-dono, that you wished to meet _everyone_ under my care?"

Looking up from where she was kneeling in the corner watching Musashino nibble at the glazed cake, she smiled and nodded eagerly. "Yes I did. I had Katsu-san draw me up a map of all the occupied houses, and then Aoshi-san made me a detailed listing of all the residents, their occupations, and family members. I was kind of hoping… you could go with me. I know it will take awhile to really meet everyone, but… if I'm going to be living here, I thought it would be nice to get to know everyone you are responsible for."

Without a moment of hesitation, he nodded, and she was surprised by how easily he gave into her request. "I would like that very much. Once we get this organized, we should decide on a route to take so that we do not visit the same house twice. Then we can send out a runner to warn the residents when to expect our appearance. If the weather permits it, we can even start tomorrow."

Slightly flustered by how quickly and competently he laid out the plan for _her_ idea, her head shook and her shoulders shrugged and she gave a slight little giggle as she replied. "Great. Let's get to work."

X

A/N: This was quite the long chapter, but it was a lot of fun too. I hope Kamatari didn't come off too perverted, but I wanted him to have this funny little crush on Kenshin and I thought it might spice things up a bit. Though at the same time I want to keep my innocent story just that way. Innocent.

So I got to do a lot in this chapter. Yay! More friendly interaction between Kaoru and Kenshin, which is about my favorite part, always. No surprise. Tae's really giving Katsu the cold shoulder, though it is well deserved. I introduced two new characters, and by the way, if you don't know, Musashino is the kid off of the anime series movie. I kind of needed another kid character, and besides Ayame and Suzume, I couldn't think of any, so I almost just picked his name out of a hat, so to speak. Anyway, Kenshin's starting to notice the lapse in his mastering has taken a bit of a toll, and for now his main worry is trying not to displease Kaoru. So in a way, Yutarou was correct in saying that the lord likes to keep her happy, but… like I said, that reasoning is just for now. I don't think he's noticed he's got quite the knack for straightening the problems out, either. Ten points for Lady Kinuko for educating her son, even after getting ordered not to. XD

Well, thanks for reading, leave a review, and see you in the next one.


	22. The Price of Negligence

Wow. So… after one emergency visit to the urgent care, two doctor visits, one hundred dollar prescription, a lot of pain, a lot of tears, my laptop charger frying, and little sleep later… I **finally** finished a chapter. Yay! Hopefully this will never happen again, and yes… I suppose I'm feeling better, though it's still pending. We'll see. Anyway… READ ON!

Disclaimer: I've neglected this story for three weeks now. I hope my price isn't steep.

**Chapter 22: The Price of Negligence**

Kenshin could feel the end of his patience building like a summer storm on the ocean horizon. Soon its destructive flashes of light and warning rumbles of thunder would blacken the serenity he was desperately trying to imitate and destroy the image of the calm master Kaoru wanted him to be. Anxiety was quickening its coming, fear that he would make the wrong choice, and as he sat and stared at their smiling, yet hopeful, host he was having a hard time catching his breath. This was not seemly for a master. It was not allowed.

How many times in the past five weeks had he felt this way? How many times was he left feeling lost in a sea of indecision as he listened to the problems his people dealt with from day to day? Problems they were needing help with. Problems he was supposed to be solving. Kenshin didn't know the first thing he needed to do to help them, every decision that came to mind would only harm another, creating a new problem for him to unravel. His only certainty was that he was never meant to be their master. They deserved someone better. Someone like his brother.

_Even Kaoru would be better than I._

Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she meticulously recorded everything that was said, everything that she learned. Upon questioning why, she had smiled and explained that his physician, Megumi he thought was her name, did this with her patients so that she could remember at the end of the day just what was wrong with each. _"Just like anybody needing a doctor to cure them of their sickness, we should be ready to help your people with their problems. If I write everything down, we won't have to worry about forgetting who had which issue and so on."_ This had helped in a large way, as Kenshin, though the master and over a thousand years old now, did not have a ready knowledge of everyone who lived there. Sometimes he recalled vague memories of certain people they visited, but most of them, he was surprised to discover, he knew nothing of.

At the end of the day they looked over her documentation and then discussed what should be done. Sometimes a decision was reached immediately, sometimes before they even left the person's house, but there were quite a few that were left for further consideration. It embarrassed him to not have the answer, but Kaoru never seemed disappointed. It didn't matter, because he could feel it. Every single time he could not reach down into the depths of his experience and pull out the answer they needed he could see clearly the disappointment crowding in around him from all sides. It was enough to make him claustrophobic; enough to make him want to run. Punishment always followed in the footsteps of disapproval. If he was not able to respond, and respond correctly, then punishment would be his teacher.

It was almost upon him now, he could feel the promising wind at his back. For Kaoru's sake he had tried to hold it in, but fighting its coming only seemed to feed it strength. Shifting his weight on the cushion he sat upon, Kenshin begged for the audience to be over with. Eyes closing, he tried to fake a few more seconds of composure, his fists clenching at his sides, hidden by the voluminous sleeves of his kimono. The room was unnaturally quiet, and yet in his head he heard the phantom growls of chaotic thunder. The sound was in his ears now, the lightning directly behind his eyes, and in the distance there was something new, something like the whistling of wind. It was torrential, overpowering, but most of all destructive. Everything in its path would be wiped clean by its fury.

Something light touched his hand and he jerked, his eyes snapping open to study the intention of the culprit. Kaoru's blue eyes were worried, questioning, her long fingers, calloused from swordplay and stained with ink, curling slowly around his. "Kenshin?" He blinked, reading his name on her lips but unable to hear her for the roaring in his ears. "Do you have any input on the matter?" Her speech was still unable to reach him, her hand tugging on his a bit harder. "Kenshin, are you alright?" Golden eyes stared, his eyelashes widening as the imaginary storm struck hard enough to shake the foundation of his control.

Kaoru's dark eyebrows curled together, a frown pulling on a mouth that was almost always smiling, and then she was turning away. The smile reappeared for their host, a male badger he couldn't remember the name of, and she waved a hand with a small laugh. Though he could not register what it was she spoke, the jealousy over her actions heated the tempest in his mind, the mixture of cold and hot swirling around in dangerous harmony. With such disorder happening already within his thoughts, why would she add such a sickening feeling by directing that smile at anyone other than him?

A leaden gaze snapped to the other male in the room, and the happy nodding and smiling the badger was responding with died in abrupt alarm. Kaoru was collecting her things and did not notice. The storm eased off.

"Thank you for your time, Sotaro-san. I'm sorry that you won't be receiving an answer immediately, but everything will be taken care of before long." Kenshin nearly sighed as the reassuring tone of her voice washed over him. They were leaving. At that same moment, her hand reached for his again, a signal she was ready to stand. Ignoring their host, he stood, one hand touching lightly at her back, the other catching her weight at her forearm as she rose from the cushion.

Outside there was still snow on the ground, but the days were filled with more sunshine than clouds as spring reluctantly approached their mountain palace. As the days became more manageable the streets were cleared, making it easier to traverse the city. It also gave a wonderfully straight view back down the mountain to his palace and the safety of his rooms. It was still early afternoon, however, and they had many more homes to visit. Suddenly the storm was threatening again.

They were barely into the street when she touched a hand to his shoulder, her eyes peering up into his curiously; anxiously. "You blanked out on me again, Kenshin. What happened?"

Denial was his primary protection from her curiosity. "I am fine, Kaoru-dono." Diversion was his secondary when her features showed clear disbelief. "Perhaps a bit weary. Let us return to the palace and rest for the remainder of the week. You are beginning to look weary yourself, and I will not have you sick again."

Kaoru was full on frowning now. "You said the same thing to me last week, Kenshin. This isn't something you can keep doing."

"Doing, my lady?" Turning away from her, his eyes avoided her own.

"Don't act ignorant, Kenshin, because that is one thing you aren't."

Irritation itched at his shoulder blades, and he growled softly. "You don't think so?"

"How could I?" Huffing and shaking her head in disbelief, Kaoru's frown deepened. "I've never met anyone less ignorant."

Suddenly the glance of his amber eyes was full of pity. "You clearly do not yet see, Kaoru-dono, just how ignorant I truly am. These problems we have listened to day after day, they are minor issues. My brother was handling them on his own at the age of nine. I am struggling just to understand the questions. How, do you suppose, am I to give the answers?"

"Nobody's asking you to come up with something right away. That's why we're writing everything down. All anyone is asking is that you try."

"I've been trying! It has changed nothing!"

"You don't know that!" Trying to catch his hand, she was vaguely aware of their voices rising. "You've barely given it enough time!" His arm jerked out of her reach.

"Enough time? What does a child like you know of time?"

Hand dropping to clench by her side, Kaoru felt her temper surge to the surface. _Spoiled, selfish brat!_ "Enough to know you wasted all of yours in hiding! You left your people to fend for themselves while you sulked and bemoaned _your _fate and thought nothing of theirs!"

They were glowering at one another, a dark shadow marring the bright rays of sunshine, and the street was deathly quiet. "Don't pretend you understand anything about what happened to me or my people, little girl."

Grinding her teeth, she bit back. "Of course not, _old man_. Unlike you, I'm not that arrogant. But I know cowardice when I see it, and for a noble, a samurai, a _man_ to be so quick to run away, it is simply disgraceful."

Disgust was blatantly evident on her features now, mixing with anger, frustration, and finally the disappointment he had always imagined. Drowning and desperate, the storm a raging tempest in his mind, he made one last attempt to make her realize the hopelessness of his plight; letting go of the façade he had put up for her. "I am not the master you think I am. I am a substitute for those who could not be here. A pale replacement for my betters. My brother spent his entire life learning how to rule and protect the lands he would inherit. I spent my entire life learning how to protect him. I was never interested in the complications of being the head of our family. It is a position I neither asked for nor wanted."

The ugly emotions from seconds before melted sadly off her face, and for a moment he could see the soothing sympathy and understanding he wanted in her sapphire eyes. The mood broke as her eyes dropped, however, and she swallowed, her jaw firming, and when she looked at him again it was with determination. Kenshin could almost feel her heart hardening against him. "That may be, Kenshin, but whether you want it or not, you have been the master for the last thousand years. I think it's about time you man-up and accept that. Your people deserve to have a master they can count on."

Once again his anger snapped and he was yelling across the distance that was widening between them. "They deserve my brother!"

"And he's dead!" Pain jerked at his features and she slouched, but continued. "You're all they have left. It's not fair to abandon them completely." He was turning away, and she frantically tried to think of something, anything, to get him to stay and continue on the path she was pushing him down. "Do you think that is what your brother would have wanted?"

He paused mid-stride, his hair brushing his kimono as he tilted one ear in her direction. "What does it matter? He's dead."

X

"Milady? Milady?"

Kaoru jerked her head up, blinking at the bright pink flamingo fluttering its soft feathers down the arm of her kimono. Sighing, Kaoru shook her head and conjured up a smile. "Forgive me, Sanae-san. I lost my train of thought. What was it you were saying?"

The flamingo's dark eyes crinkled, speaking of her amusement as she couldn't smile with her hard beak. "There is no need to apologize, Lady Kaoru. We are very much aware that you have had your hands full these last few weeks." Behind the female flamingo, her husband, a great stag with the most impressive pair of antlers she had ever seen, nodded his head.

"Thank you for being understanding, but it does not excuse me from being rude. Whatever you have to say is no less important to me, or Lord Kenshin, than what everyone else has had to say. I should not let my thoughts distract me." Glancing down at the nearly full scroll in front of her, she quickly scanned what she had recorded from the visit. _I think that is all that was said. I'm sure the last thing they were speaking of was simple preparations for the coming spring. Not an issue Kenshin will need to review._

Thoughts straying once again, she frowned, sorrow tugging at her heart. The argument that had happened two days before had not gone well, and in hindsight Kaoru knew she could have handled it better. Instead, her temper had taken care of everything, and the harsh words that had sprung from her mouth had only pushed him away instead of showing him what was needed. Who was she kidding? She wasn't the right person to help him. He needed someone with more patience. _I bet his mother never yelled. She probably knew the right answer for everything._

"It's the young lord that is troubling you, isn't it, milady?" Kaoru glanced up, startled. Sadness filled the flamingo's eyes. "Everyone knows what it is you are trying to do, milady, and we are all extremely grateful for your concern…"

"But?" Afraid of what she was going to hear next, Kaoru's features fought the twitch of distress.

"The young lord is not interested in our problems. He has made this clear to us from the very beginning." Sanae spoke over her as Kaoru made a noise to interrupt. "Please, milady, we know that in his own way he does care for us, and he has always helped us when we were in dire need, but we also know that being our master was never what he wanted. We have accepted this, and after a thousand years, we have learned how to live without the guiding hand of a lord. Yes, we have many problems that are left unattended, problems that would have never arose were there an authoritative head to answer to. But we endure, and besides, there are so many things that are merely habitual now that were once necessity."

"Such as the food rations." The stag spoke up, and Kaoru averted her attention to him. Koki, she remembered was his name, and throughout the entire audience he had spoken rarely. His voice was deep and soothing to listen to. "We also heard of your urging in this matter, milady, and we thank you for opening the young lord's eyes, but eating for us has become a comfort. Even without food, we can no longer die of starvation. It is only an uncomfortable inconvenience to us."

"So you see, milady, there is no need for you to push yourself. Not for our sakes. The young lord will be as he always has been, and you should not feel discouraged that you cannot change him. You should also feel no fear that we will shun you if you fail. You are a very sweet and sensitive child. How could any of us blame you when you have tried so hard to help?"

They sat in silence for a few moments, Kaoru's head bowed. "Does everyone feel this way about Kenshin?"

"I'm afraid… no one has enough hope left to believe his interest will last, Lady Kaoru. We know… he is only trying for you."

Sucking in a slow breath, Kaoru reached for the stopper to her bottle of ink. "That is really too bad, because I don't believe that at all. He wants you to have a good master. He knows you deserve to have a good master. All I have been doing is trying to show him that he is that master." _But he has no confidence in himself. He is too stuck on his inadequacies. Too stuck on the past and his brother, the master they should have had._ Blinking, Kaoru looked between the couple and then at the floor. _Shinta-sama trained his entire life to be the new master, and Kenshin trained to protect him. Surely he has had the best example to follow, after shadowing his older brother around for so long. So what is holding him back?_ "Kenshin was never supposed to be the master. In fact… his father discouraged his education. All he has is his experience and what he has learned from his brother." Letting out a breath of amazement, Kaoru shook her head. "It's his brother. He wants so much to be like his brother he has lost confidence in himself and his own decisions. He's afraid he won't be able to live up to his memory."

Sanae traded a look with her husband, but neither could understand her mumbling. "Milady?"

Kaoru looked up with a smile, happiness deep within her irises. "I understand it must be hard for you to hope after so many centuries. I can't even imagine what you have had to endure, but please… as a favor to me… do not give up on Kenshin. He has the potential. He just needs the right amount of encouragement."

X

Once again they were at odds with one another. Once again he was left feeling as if something important, something precious had been ripped from him. Once again it was his own fault. Not that she appeared outwardly to be treating him any differently than she had before. In fact, she was making a point to talk to him, non-stop, for as long as she was in his presence. Her chatter always varied; from the weather, to a childhood memory, to something the servants had done, and then just as he was relaxing, she would recite one of the issues he was supposed to be working out for his people. Every single muscle in his neck would tighten with panic and the strain would seal his mouth shut. She never pushed him on the subject, though, her words always thoughtful instead of questioning. It made him wonder just what she was doing.

Kaoru was still attending their schedule of audiences without him, leaving after breakfast and returning just before supper. Exhaustion was showing itself in her eyes, but she never stopped going, staying up well into the night cataloguing and filing everything she had recorded that day into the appropriate piles in their make-do office. She was trying to prove a point, he just couldn't see what it was.

She wasn't handling any of the problems, because the stack of papers just kept getting taller and taller, while the ones that had already been solved seemed to be getting shorter and shorter by contrast. The way it was going, she was acting as his personal assistant or some such nonsense, just waiting for him to finish up the mountain of paperwork so she could have it handled and then cleared away. Why didn't she just go ahead and fix the problems, too? He was sure she could. She seemed almost capable of anything.

_Perhaps she's still stubbornly set on me doing it._ Grumbling, Kenshin hunched a little further in on himself, his wings draping around him to cocoon in his body heat. It was nearing spring, but the evenings were still cold. _When will she understand that I am not able to handle the dealings of this palace and city? I cannot be their master in such a way. I don't know how. Not like Shinta-sama._

_He would have been the perfect master. He cared for everyone's wellbeing. He listened to what everyone had to say before making or amending his decisions. He trained hard to learn how to protect everyone. He wanted nothing more than what was best. Kaoru was right… he would have never abandoned his people. Never would have wanted them to be abandoned. He also would have never wanted them to suffer the rule of a bad master. Good intentions do not mean they will end in good decisions. What kind of harm could I possibly inflict by trying like Kaoru wants? Surely it would be better just to leave everything as it is. We have all survived for the last thousand years. What difference would a change make now?_

"_Kenshin. Who do you think is more important in our country? The emperor, or his subject?"_

_Kenshin blinked across at his mother, curious of the small tilt of amusement on her lips. Was it a trick question? Chewing on his lip he answered cautiously. "Is his subject someone specific, or is it all of them?"_

_Her smile widened. "Do you think it will make a difference?"_

_Kenshin shrugged his young shoulders. "Perhaps, though I doubt it."_

"_And why is that?"_

"_If the country were to be attacked, then the emperor would need to be protected at all costs."_

"_And what of his people? Would you sacrifice all of their lives just to save his?"_

_A small frown pulled at his child's face, a pout pushing out his bottom lip. "That doesn't sound right at all."_

_Her head nodded in approval. "Explain."_

"_Well… who would he rule over if there wasn't anyone alive?"_

"_A very astute observation, Kenshin. How would you, then, answer my question now? Is the emperor more important, or is it his subject?"_

"_His subject?" Uncertain, he answered slowly._

"_Ah, you sound unsure. Why don't you try explaining why you have chosen this answer?"_

"_We already said, Kaasan."_

"_Try thinking of some other reasons. Do you think a subject is only good for ruling over? What do they do that the emperor does not?"_

"_Clean. Cook. Dress themselves. Dress us. Feed the horses and tend the gardens and wash the clothes." Ticking off a list on his fingers, he took a breath and let it out in a huff when it became too long for him to keep track. "Kaasan, I think they do everything."_

_Laughing, Kinuko pulled her son into her lap and hugged him tight. "Yes, baby, they do a lot of things that we will never have to do for our entire lives. But it is only because they are here, taking care of us. In turn, we are left free to focus on other things they cannot. We must not allow ourselves to be lazy simply because we have servants. We must return their hard work by working hard for them. They must be taken care of as well, and that is why the emperor's position is important too."_

"_So they're both important? But who's the most important?"_

_Kinuko smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "Let's rephrase the question. If you were the emperor, who would be more important to you? Yourself or your people?"_

"_My people."_

"_Because?"_

"_Because it would be my job to take care of them."_

"_Very good, baby."_

_But I don't know how, Mother. I don't know anything useful outside of battle._

"_It was an easy mistake, little brother. You shouldn't let it discourage you."_

_At eleven years old Kenshin was barely tall enough to see over the rest of the people in his father's court while they were seated. Now outside in the hot summer air, he was trying to escape his oldest brother._

"_Yeah, why don't you do that again next time?" Pushing by them with a slap on the back of Kenshin's head, Tenshi grinned. "That vein on Father's forehead might pop, just like your arm if he gets a hold of you." Laughing cynically, he waved a salute as he disappeared into the maze of pavilions._

_Shinta sighed. "Though I hate to admit it, Tenshi's right about Father's patience. The next time you have an idea, come to me with it. I would greatly value your views, little brother."_

"_No. I shouldn't have said anything. Father was right. It wasn't my place."_

"_It would be if I decided I wanted you to be an advisor instead of my guardian." Winking, Shinta smiled, the look dying as Kenshin did not respond._

"_I don't want to be your advisor, Shinta-sama. I… I don't want to do that ever again." A vulnerable look crossed his maturing features. "Father said… I was to be punished."_

"_You know… you don't have to be right all the time."_

"_You do in battle."_

"_Only if you are fighting alone, little brother."_

_I am fighting alone!_ Standing, Kenshin paced to the door, needing to get out of the room and find something, anything to distract him from his thoughts. It was already dark outside, and without willing them, his feet took him to a pavilion adjacent to Kaoru's. It was here she was keeping all of her paperwork, and where she spent all of her extra time when she wasn't out visiting or eating. Though his presence would undoubtedly mislead her into thinking he was going to start helping her again, he wanted to talk to her. She made him feel like he was needed, like he was worth something after all these years, and even if what she expected of him was beyond possibility, he liked knowing that there was still one person who believed in him.

The building was dark, and as he peeked into the inner rooms, he sighed in disappointment at finding her already gone. It was getting late, but it was relatively early for her to be going to bed. _She has seemed extremely tired, lately. Perhaps it is good that she has decided to try and sleep longer._ Not cheered in the least, he stepped up into the room, careful of the neatly ordered documents, and found the lamp she used for light.

The unresolved stack was ridiculously large, and he found upon glancing over the room that she had changed the system to accommodate. Now instead of just one pile for answered and one for unanswered they each had a different half of the room. The finished pile really only had a corner at this point, but there was a large blank spot spreading across the front of one wall that suggested it was ready for more papers. In between there was two cushions; one for him and one for her, though his was not quite as flat. There were also more scrolls and documents for referencing, all carefully labeled depending on the subject. The multiple piles of pending issues were also smartly divided into specific columns to make it easier to research an answer.

Somehow, knowing she had gone through so much trouble just to make it as undemanding as possible for him, made him feel worthless. He wanted so much to please her, to make her happy and to have her look at him with respect and admiration. He had tried, and he had failed. It wasn't that he didn't want to be the master she wanted, either, but because he knew he wasn't that master. Shinta was that master, and no matter what he did, he could never be his brother.

Sitting on his cushion, he leaned his chin on one upraised knee, absently fingering the pile of papers directly in front of him. The light from the lamp flickered, stretching and pulling the shadows, briefly darkening the symbols on the page. As the light settled and his eyes scanned the information, he frowned. Instead of a random problem, he had stumbled upon a list of names.

Some of them he recognized; Kamatari, Saitou, Kogorou, Toki, Gentatsu, Megumi. Others he did not; Koki, Tomoki, Yuya, Ran, Shun, Shinobu, Norio, Hania, Sachi, Shigure. Underneath each name was a description of what they did. Reading further showed any who answered to them. Kamatari knew everything there was to know about the distribution and handling of their food. That meant people like Tae, since she headed the cooking for the entire palace, answered to him. Saitou and Kogorou each handled a separate division of protection. Saitou for the palace city, and Kogorou for the palace itself. Cho and Okita answered to Saitou, and Aoshi and Soujirou answered to Kogorou. Then there was Toki and Gentatsu. They were brother and sister and each were the superiors over the servants of their respective sexes. Toki over all of the women, Gentatsu over all of the men. Megumi was the noble family's personal physician, and so all of those in the medical field, down to the herb pickers, answered to her.

All of these he knew because he had regular interaction with them at the palace, or because their personalities were so strong it was hard to forget a single encounter. The others, however, interested him, and as he read up on the information Kaoru had collected, he was beginning to develop an interest in the list. Koki was apparently very knowledgeable about everything that had to do with farming; the rice, the hay, down to anything you would ever want to know about planting, harvesting, and preserving vegetables. Tomoki was the exact same way with the orchards and fruits. Yuya knew the mines by heart. Ran was an excellent blacksmith. _On second thought, I remember him. He was the apprentice to the man who made my katana._ Shun was obsessive about the livestock. Everyone sought out Shinobu's advise about construction. Norio was their best hunter. Sae swore on Hania's tailoring capabilities. Sachi loved volunteering to teach basic skills to those who wished to learn. Finally, Shigure was almost always found in the gardens, pampering the plants and tending to the flowers.

As the detailed register of specific skills burned itself onto his brain, his mind cataloging every inch of data like his mother had taught him, his brother's voice overlapped his own inner monologue. "_I would greatly value your views, little brother."_

_But why? You were to be the master._

"_If all opinions, information, and views come from the same source my decisions will become stale and my people will suffer for it. I must see myself and my lands through many different eyes in order to be the best leader that I can. I value your eyes, little brother. They have seen everything, have endured everything, in forced silence. I do not think Father understands the true extent of the education he has unwittingly given to you. You have watched silently as we have ruled and discussed and made our right and wrong decisions. As a spectator, you have seen what we have not, and your eyes are always learning. That is why no one can defeat you in one on one combat, little brother. In fact, you have even begun to frighten Father with your skill."_

_But you are smarter than I, than Father… than any man I have ever met. What would you need of advisors?_

"_Little brother… do you know the greatest mistake Father made in raising us? He pitted us against one another. He thought it would make us stronger if we did not rely on anyone other than ourselves, but he was wrong. Together, we would have been unstoppable. Think about it, Kenshin. If your eyes are looking forward, and mine looking back, then no one can sneak up on us. If Tenshi were to look left, and Isamu to look right, than no one can come at our side. There would be no blind spot, no weakness. Life is full of mistakes, but they are only ever fatal if you are fighting them alone."_

The pages blurred and then steadied, and Kenshin let out a breath. A small, missing piece of his life seemed to click back into place, rebuilding a section of his confidence. _I think you are right, brother. I don't know if Kaoru-dono knew what she was doing when she compiled this list, but I shall have to thank her later. Perhaps… she heard you better than I._ Deciding to give it one more try, he reached for one of the stacks and slid it closer.

Twenty minutes later and he was reorganizing her system into one of his own, his uncertainty and anxiety melting into eagerness. If the simple knowledge of Kaoru's belief in his usefulness was fulfilling, actually putting that usefulness to the test was even better. For now it was limited to a small trial, but just knowing he had some sort of plan in mind made his fear of failure seem like less and less of a problem.

Without willing it, he yawned, and he was dimly surprised to find he was disappointed by his fatigue. Reluctant to lose his new found enthusiasm, he stood with every intention of heading for the kitchens. Cleaning up the kitchens was a big job, and he doubted they were finished just yet. A pot of jasmine tea and some leftover snacks would be a good way to grind out a few more hours of energy. The smell of the tea alone would do him wonders.

Sliding open the door to the kitchens showed him nothing but an empty room. Noise was drifting through the doorway to the wash room, however, so he marched his way across the still halfway dirty kitchen and into the neighboring space. Instead of the cook and her two helpers, however, he was met by only one of the aides, her long arms buried shoulder deep in a basin of sudsy water. A second scan showed that she was indeed by herself. Frowning, he shrugged. Perhaps the other two were retrieving some clean water from the well.

"You." A high yelp and quick turn snapped her attention on him. "I need a fresh pot of tea brought to the pavilion the lady and I have been working out of."

Momentarily speechless, the young snow monkey worked her jaw nervously. "Y-yes, milord." Looking uncomfortably undecided, she grabbed at a towel after a few seconds and began drying her arms off as she walked towards the open divider door. About to turn and leave himself, Kenshin paused, thinking something was not quite right.

"Is there no one else here to help you?"

Again she froze, her eyes widening. "Well, I-I…" Ducking her head, she hunched her shoulders. "I uh… I think… Tae-san and Suzume-chan said they were… er… really worn out and so they…"

"They left you with this mess?" Golden eyes flickered around the interior a third time, really taking in the amount of dishes, pots, and pans they went through. The floors were dirty and in need of being cleaned, and there was still food on the stove. Suddenly feeling the role of his position, he grunted angrily. "That will not be allowed. If they wished for time off I do not care, but it will not happen at the same time. This is too big of a job to handle alone. Go fetch them both and bring them here. I will talk to them."

For the third time she hesitated, and it was trying his patience. "Listen, what was your name?"

"Ayame, sir."

"Alright, Ayame-chan, no one is going to be punished, but I will not let this go unnoticed. Bring them here. I promise I simply wish to speak with them."

Light brown eyes darted to and fro, her breathing coming in small gasps as she nodded her head. Halfway turned and headed toward the outer door, her movements jerky and suspicious, she spun at the last second and hit the floor hard with her forehead.

"Forgive me, my lord, but I can't do as you ask."

The frown on his face darkened, wondering if his lack of leadership had really lost him so much respect from his servants and people. _I really must try harder from now on._ "And why not?"

"Because… because Tae-san is missing."

X

A/N: Oh, so mean. lol Well, there we have it. I hope it's not too choppy, and I promise, this is (well, almost) the last time we have a fight between Kaoru and Kenshin. It's kind of felt like one of those pop rides at the amusement parks, where you strap yourself into a seat, and then they shoot you up into the air before dropping you from a hundred feet. Over and over and over again until you just want to get off and be safe on the ground. Or let them throw you through the air or something. As long as they make up their mind which way they want you to go. XD

Anyway, I hope everyone liked it, and please ask away if you have any questions… besides the obvious "where did Tae go?" lol That you will have to wait to find out. Hope to see you soon in the next one, and thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Please give me some new ones for encouragement. Ta-ta.


	23. Taking Responsibility

HAPPY NEW YEAR! And because I didn't say it in the last…MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS!

So, I've got my boyfriend's grandmother reading this story, and in fact she has been ever since the earliest chapters, but I've never had her harass me as much with any of the other chapters as she has with this one. She has, in fact, threatened to beat me because of poor Tae. I am going to take it as a compliment, because a death threat is, by all means, the biggest compliment… lol.

Disclaimer: It was never mine to begin with… well, at least the characters aren't.

**Chapter 23: Taking Responsibility**

Kaoru sighed as she closed the door to the shrine and stepped out into the chilly night air, Tomoe's goodnight a soft echo in her ears. The woman was an incredibly good listener, even if her answering advice was mostly vague. In many ways she reminded Kaoru of her mother, her gentle coaxing suggesting she find her own answer instead of seeking it out from another. There was also the way she petted her hair comfortingly that gave a vague impression of maternity; or the graceful way she moved, the same as her mother; or perhaps it was simply the deep blackness of her eyes, their bottomless pools holding all the wisdom in the world. Once, she remembered her father saying he could get lost in her mother's eyes. Sometimes, when Kaoru's conversations with Tomoe turned more serious, she could almost understand what it was he spoke of.

After Kaoru's most recent fight with Kenshin her turmoil had driven her to seek Tomoe out as the only being in the palace that would have an outside perspective on the situation. She wasn't sure if Kenshin knew she was visiting the shrine, and she feared the extra tension his reaction to the discovery would cause, but Kaoru had needed to vent. Besides which, she felt bad leaving the poor woman alone by herself when she had blatantly advertised her loneliness on her first visit. So even though she was probably only bothering her with her personal problems, Kaoru felt she could justify her disobedience by alleviating Tomoe's seclusion. Even after her multiple visits, however, she was still conflicted on how to properly handle and encourage Kenshin onto the right path.

It saddened her, every time she had to watch his muscles tense and panic enter his warm golden eyes. It was like witnessing a child waiting for his punishment, fearing a lash or cruel word. There had been many times when she had wanted nothing more than to tell him that it was alright, he didn't have to try if he didn't want to, just to stop the torment haunting his every move. A part of her knew, though, that to give into such a sheltering instinct would only hurt him more than help. There was a time for empathy and a caring touch and then there was a time for indifference and a firm hand. Kenshin needed a good shot of both. She just hoped she was giving them in the right dosage.

_I know there is so much that he needs to come to grips with himself, but sometimes I just want to grab him and shake him as hard as I can. There has to be something there that's holding him back. Something I'm not seeing. I know his brother has a lot to do with his indecision and lack of confidence, but at the same time his brother was probably the best male influence he had in his life. I have this awful feeling that his father has a lot to do with his aversion to ruling, but I'm not sure what to do about it or even how to bring up the subject to learn more. I suppose I should just listen to Tomoe and give him some more time… but he's already had a thousand years, and I don't have anywhere near enough time to wait around for another thousand! My patience isn't even going to last until spring!_

"I-it's been a few days, milord."

Slowing to a distracted halt, Kaoru blinked her way out of her thoughts and frowned at the anxious stuttering coming from inside the building she was walking near.

"A few days! And no one thought to inform me?"

The incredulity in Kenshin's voice was bordering on anger, and the small hint of concern tangled in with the combination made Kaoru nervous. What, she wondered, was going on?

"We… we did not want to bother you, milord. We've been taking turns searching, and… a few of the others are helping as well, but…"

"Who else? I want everyone who knows brought to me at once." A pause followed, then a quick scrambling of soft feet on the floor before the scrape of Kenshin's talons indicated his movement as well. "On second thought, take me to them, I have no patience to wait."

The door around the corner from her opened and Kaoru was finally able to catch her bearings enough to realize she was next to the kitchens. One of the small snow monkeys that helped Tae scurried out onto the veranda, Kenshin quick on her heels. They turned the other direction, neither aware of her presence, and she quietly followed at a distance, curious of the circumstances.

In the eerie black and white of moon glow they hurried along towards the western side of the palace and the male serving quarters. It was here that they came across the second snow monkey, her shock at seeing Kenshin evident in her squeaky greeting. The dark outline of a large bird was perched next to her, and as Kaoru's eyes slid over the smaller form of a weasel she realized the bird was undoubtedly Aoshi.

"Do you no longer report to your superiors, Okashira?"

The quick snap of a question caught the raven off guard, and Kaoru was beginning to feel alarm curl in her stomach as he cautiously replied. "What is it my lord thinks I have not informed him of?"

"Only that one of my servants has gone missing."

There was a pause, during which Kaoru's alarm grew. _Who's missing?_

"My lord, if I may, we have been very fortunate in the last several hundred years, but that doesn't change the fact that a missing servant is not unheard of."

"That does not explain why I was not told."

"We did not think you would wish to be bothered."

Hearing his own words only fueled the anger seething in his mind, a loathing that continued to grow the more he wished to correct the last thousand years worth of mistakes. Except a more selfish part of him still did not understand why they would keep something as important as a missing person from him. "Perhaps I have not wished to be bothered by smaller issues in the past, Okashira, but even then the absence of one of my own personal servants would have had a direct effect upon me. It is my right to be told."

"My lord…" Ayame spoke up softly, her hands clutched tightly together with her sister's. "I apologize if you have been dissatisfied with your meals for the last few days, but…"

"My meals?" The rein on his emotions finally broke and his voice rose abruptly in volume, causing the two small snow monkeys to cower. "Do you think my anger is for the quality of my meals? What use do I have for food? It is your silence and secrecy that angers me! Do you think so little of her life that you would keep her absence to yourselves?"

"Of course not." There was a touch of indignity in Aoshi's voice when he responded, his small, black chest puffing out as his head lifted. "We acted only on the orders we were last given by our master. The lives of his servants were of no importance to your father."

"I am not my father!" The words flew from his mouth with all the fury of a tornado, their force like a hammer snapping a pin through their tongues. For one astonishing moment Kaoru recognized the large step the lord had taken, her eyes wide as she stared at how his posture had changed. He was now more sure of himself, the conviction in his voice gaining strength with the release of each pent up word pouring from his lips. "Nor would I ever wish to be! That selfish bastard cared nothing for the lives surrounding him! Not when he could find a replacement if one were lost! But this palace is no longer his! It is mine! My home! Just as it has been for the last thousand years! That means everyone living here is under my care, and there is not one of them that can be replaced! This includes my cook!"

Frozen in awe, a feeling of relief and thankful joy warming her heart, Kaoru's blooming smile melted away as his words unwittingly identified the missing servant. Still standing, unnoticed at the edge of the veranda behind them, Kaoru gasped in a breath, her hands fisting to press into her sternum.

"Tae-san is missing?"

All eyes swung to her, Kenshin's tense form jerking at the sound of her voice. The fierce set of his irises and thin slits of his pupils abruptly softened at the sight of her, his shoulders relaxing as he slid easily into an almost regretful attitude. "Then you did not know, either."

"No, my lord." Aoshi's voice when he addressed him held a note of respect that had been absent from his previously polite speech. "We did not wish to upset the lady."

"An understandable wish." Carefully shielded eyes watched as Kaoru trembled and stepped closer, the blatant concern on her face heightened by the exhaustion she was already fighting off. "Who is out searching right now?"

"Sanosuke is, my lord."

Gaze never leaving Kaoru's, he nodded. "Sanosuke is a good tracker." She was directly in front of him now. "Send word to Saitou and his city patrol to be on the lookout, and have Soujirou and Kogorou meet me in my pavilion." Slender fingers wrapped around his and he gave them a reassuring squeeze before he returned his attention to the raven. "What of your unit, Okashira? Have they been informed?"

"Yes, my lord. They have been searching the surrounding woods, but there is no sign of her, or of a struggle."

"Then we will have to assume for now that she hasn't gone beyond the outer wall. When exactly was the last time she was seen, and what was she doing?"

"It was three days ago, milord." Suzume spoke up, her face pressed into the chest of her older sister. "Just after lunch. She said she needed to clear her head. We didn't see where she went, but… she never came back."

"Do you think… someone or… something grabbed her?" Kaoru spoke up anxiously, a touch of firmness in the question that suggested she would not be kind if that were the case. Kenshin couldn't help but smile.

"Not so close to the palace and in the middle of the day, Kaoru-dono." The slight twitch of a smile turned into a frown as he studied the dark circles under her eyes. "You will leave this one to me. I wish for you to get some sleep. I will have it sorted out by the time you wake up." Looking over his shoulder, he jerked his head at Misao who sat silent and observing in the background. At his signal, she jumped forward and stood alert next to Kaoru's leg.

"He's right, milady. You haven't been sleeping as much as you need to, and you won't be of much help if you are tired."

"But Tae-san…"

"Now has _everyone_ in the palace on the lookout for her. She will be found. I promise." There was a different tone of command in his voice now, and Kaoru knew he was in complete charge; of the situation and of himself. It was just as Megumi had said. Kenshin fell smoothly into the role of master in times of a crisis, although Kaoru had to wonder if one missing person would have really demanded his undivided attention before today, like Aoshi had said. There was definitely something different this time around, especially after that little speech about his father and making it perfectly clear where his priorities now were.

Without waiting for her reply, his hand slid from hers, his focus no longer open to anything other than Tae and her whereabouts. Glad that he was stepping up as the master, Kaoru still felt a moment of frustration that he would cast her aside so easily. Why couldn't she help? Even if Tae did have the entire palace looking for her, it couldn't hurt to have one more pair of eyes out searching. Besides, Tae was her friend. How did he expect her to just lie down and sleep when she was missing; possibly lost, hurt, or even…

Aoshi took off in a flurry of black feathers, and with his departure Kenshin directed himself towards his pavilion. His arm wrapped around her as he walked by, forcing her to follow along, and she knew his intention was to make sure she made it to her own sleeping quarters without detouring elsewhere.

"Come along, Kaoru-dono. I meant what I said." Misao's hurried triple step suggested she was having to run to keep up. "You have been working much too hard lately. I want you to take it easy from now on."

"But…"

"Everything will be taken care of. There is no longer any reason for you to worry."

The door shut firmly behind her once she was safely inside her own pavilion, and she listened as Kenshin's feet thumped a quick rhythm back to his rooms. Sighing, she glanced at Misao, her heart undecided and her limbs restless. She couldn't sleep now, even if she wanted to. There were things that needed to be done. Someone precious to her was somewhere out in the night, alone, possibly scared or even wondering when someone was going to find her. Sure she couldn't get sick, or die from starvation, but a serious wound would still be a problem, right? What if a wild animal had found her? She didn't want to lose anyone. It was too difficult to deal with.

_Wait a minute…_

"Someone precious…" Whispering to herself, her blue eyes widened and she turned fully on the weasel, her words urgent. "Does Katsu-san know that Tae's missing? Is he out there looking right now?"

Misao hung her head, her aquamarine irises subdued. "No. Sano didn't think telling him anything would be a good idea. Apparently… Katsu hasn't come out of his room in weeks, and no one can get him to respond… Sano seems to think telling him anything bad at this point might have… damaging repercussions."

"Is there something wrong with him?"

"I don't know, milady, but… he has done something similar once before, and… only Tae was able to talk him back out of it. I think that's why Sano doesn't want him to know that Tae has gone missing. Without her… he might do something drastic."

"But what if she needs him this time? Argh! What is it with all the selfish men around here?" Pulling quickly at her kimono, she dropped the silk layers to the floor as she ranted. "Shouldn't he want to be out there looking for his beloved? I mean, what would you do if Aoshi were missing?" Jerking her arms through the sleeves of her training kimono, she pinned Misao with an intense stare.

Without hesitation, Misao answered. "I'd go looking for him. I'd look until I found him."

"Exactly! And he'd do the same for you if you went missing. And I know Sano wouldn't hesitate if it were Megumi missing, so I can't even believe he wants to keep this from Katsu."

Shrugging as she watched Kaoru knot the tie of her hakama belt, Misao smiled softly. "Well, Sano always has had this protective best friend thing going on for Katsu. Those two and Shinta-sama were quite the trio, so I've heard, and since Katsu was the smallest and weakest of the group, the other two stuck up for him a lot. Now that Shinta's gone, Sano's taken all of the responsibility on himself to look out for Katsu. In some ways, Katsu can be completely naïve, and its gotten him into a lot of trouble once before… so you can't really fault Sano for wishing to shelter him from making any other mistakes."

Nodding, Kaoru shrugged on the oversize haori Kenshin had given to her and started for the door. "Then I won't fault him, but I don't think Katsu needs to be kept in the dark. Not only do I think he would want to know, I think he should know. Loving someone means a lot more than just experiencing a few mushy feelings." Peeking around the edge of her outer tsumado, she chanced a glance towards Kenshin's pavilion. There was a light glowing brightly from inside and several shadows were passing in front of it. Kenshin's wings were a dark outline, and from his movements she could tell that he was pacing. It wouldn't be long before he lost patience and went out himself to look.

The warning clack of wood forced her to duck further back into the hallway, and she watched as a sleek, large cat slid out into the night. From the length of its tail and the pattern of spots on its yellow coat, she recognized it for the cheetah it represented. Behind it came a large lion, its voice dignified as it spoke a few low words to the first feline, and then the cheetah was gone. Kaoru blinked, momentarily in awe over the speed it possessed. Then the lion was ducking back into the pavilion and the coast was clear.

"Come on." Whispering for Misao to follow, Kaoru stepped out into the night and made a quick detour off the veranda so as to avoid going too close to Kenshin's location.

The darkness helped to hide her presence, but it took longer than she would have wished to make it to the painter's abode. Once at the door, her eyes glancing cautiously around her to make sure no one witnessed her, she knocked and forced her voice through the barrier.

"Katsu-san… may I come in?" There was no answer, the silence deeper than usual for nighttime. Frowning, she glanced at Misao. "Do you think he's sleeping?" The weasel shrugged, helpless to answer. Knocking again, Kaoru spoke louder. "Katsu-san, it is urgent that I speak with you."

Sighing angrily when there still wasn't an answer, Misao beat her small paw against the lower portion of the sliding door. "Answer the damn door, Katsuhiro! The lady wants to talk to you!" There was a suspicious shuffling from inside, but the noise didn't move any closer to the shoji. "Oh, he's awake alright." Speaking in an aside to Kaoru, Misao lifted her voice so that Katsu would hear. "Fine, we'll just let ourselves in!" Taking the cue from Misao, Kaoru yanked on the door, but it was blocked from the inside. Irritated, Kaoru struggled futilely to jerk it open.

"Open the door you idiot! It's about Tae!"

As if conjured by her name alone, his voice answered directly on the other side of the wood. "Miss Tae? Has something happened to her?"

Letting go, Kaoru tapped her foot with a huff. "Open the door and I might think about telling you."

The loud clatter of a wooden stick was dropped to the floor, and then the shoji was sliding open to show a bare slice of the thicker darkness inside. The vague shadow of a lemur moved across the opening, and his voice was pleading. "Is Miss Tae alright?"

Wedging her fingers into the crevice to make sure he wouldn't shut it back on them, Kaoru bent slightly at the waist. "I don't truthfully know, Katsu-san."

"Why not?" He sounded confused, leery, but above all disbelieving.

"She took a walk three days ago and no one has seen her since. I was kind of hoping that you might have an idea where she would have gone."

His small dark fingers dropped from the shoji and he stepped back. "I don't know, Lady Kaoru, and perhaps… it is better that I don't."

Kaoru frowned and cracked the door open wider to keep him in view. "What is that supposed to mean? Aren't you worried? Don't you want to help look for her?"

"I am the last person she needs to associate herself with, milady. I would be doing her a favor by not looking. Someone else would be better. Yes, anyone else." His voice trailed off into the room as he turned his back and disappeared into the concealing clutches of gloom, and all they heard next was the soft rustling of paper. Pushing the door completely open, Kaoru stepped inside to follow.

"What is going on? Did you have a fight? Is that why you've been cooped up in here by yourself?" Fumbling around in the dark, she swore as she tripped on some loose objects in the middle of the floor. "Argh! And what the hell are you doing sitting around in the dark?" A match struck and light illuminated a small area before catching fire to the wick of a lantern. Carefully scooting some stray papers away from it, Misao looked at Kaoru and nodded her head to a far corner.

Katsu flinched away from the light, but did not stop in his task, the rustling of paper continuing. One quick glance showed him to be plastering many small pictures to the wall in front of him. Blue eyes darting away from him and the only free space left, she relaxed in amazement at the hundreds of drawings and paintings covering every inch of his room. Some were in perfect color and detail, others simple black and white and harried, but all were of one subject. All were of a small, sleek, spider monkey.

"Katsu…" Fixing him once more with her attention, she tilted her head to get a better view of the space of wall he was trying to conceal. The underneath was white, not wood, and there was the tiniest spot of brilliant pink peeking out from behind the papers already up. Stepping up to him quickly as he lifted another painting and tried to fix it over the spot, she grabbed his hand and gently pulled him away. He didn't argue, only stumbled to a sitting position, his head hanging into his chest. Curious, Kaoru peeled the papers back.

The splash of pink she saw revealed itself to be a delicate blossom decorating what looked like the bottom portion of a rich kimono. Surprised, Kaoru ripped at the rest of the papers, dropping them on the floor as she exposed more and more of the lovely dress. Letting the last bunch slip from her fingers, she stared up at the true painting, slightly stunned by the beauty of the woman he had portrayed. From her light brown hair and warm tan eyes, her shy smile and slender figure, she was a picture of love, happily looking down upon her viewer in tender affection. _But not at me… she would have been painted to look down upon…_

Turning in place she stared at Katsu. "Is that… Tae?"

"Katsu you idiot! What have you done?" Kaoru started as Misao jumped out of nowhere to attack the unsuspecting lemur. "If the young lord finds out about this…!"

"It's too late. He already has."

Misao paused, astonished that no whisper of punishment had reached her ears. "He has?"

Letting out a quiet moan, the lemur pressed both hands to his face. "I've messed up again, but it's worse this time. So much worse."

"What is going on?" Bending down to carefully pick Misao up off of the painter, she sat her aside and then helped Katsu up. "Why is it so wrong that Katsu has painted a picture of Tae? I think it's wonderful. And it's nice to know what she really looks like. Why aren't there more?"

Still eyeing Katsu, Misao spoke reluctantly, her voice tight. "The young lord forbade him to paint portraits of our human selves." Slowly her irises swung to the life size painting on the wall and sighed. "They entice too much longing and… there were many that could not handle the emotion."

Kaoru's mouth opened, afraid her own conclusion was far too right, and then turned in agony to the lemur when he murmured in a daze. "It's a curse, you know, to remember everything, everyone. Even now their faces are clear in my mind. I never thought my paintings would ever hurt anyone." He trembled, a sob shaking his throat. "I swore I would never hurt anyone else. But I wasn't thinking. I only wanted to give her something special. Something to show her how much I love her, but… it doesn't matter." One hand wiped over his face and he sniffed, collecting himself. "The young lord brought me to my senses, and I got it back. I took it away and she should be safe. She should be safe."

"You gave Tae a painting?" Horrified, Misao stood on her hind legs.

His head nodded. "But I took it away. She doesn't have it anymore."

"That's not even the point! Katsu! Tae's missing! She's not safe at all! What if she's…?" A look of immense pain twitched Misao's features and she turned to dart out the door. Too stunned to move, Kaoru watched every small sign of despair bloom on Katsu's face before he slumped forward, his head in his hands.

"No. Not Miss Tae. Not Miss Tae."

He seemed so lost and alone, so small and breakable, as he lay there sobbing on the floor and her heart went out to him. Briefly placing a hand on his shoulder to offer comfort, Kaoru moved to stand, ready to follow after Misao. If everything they had said was true, then finding Tae had become a race against time. Who knew what they would find when they did locate her, but Kaoru didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think the wonderful lady that had given her so much good advice might possibly be gone from the world. Not because of a simple painting.

"Wait." Quickly his hands were wrapped around her one, his dark eyes desperate as he stared up at her. "She used to love walking the mountain paths. There's one, on the east side of the northern rice field. We found a lone dogwood there once, in a small dell between the mountain peeks. I remember… it bloomed twice that year. She said… that it was our tree." The clue gave her a sense of relief, and she nodded quickly, suddenly more eager than before to be out looking. "Please, my lady. You have to find her. You have to make sure she's safe."

"No, Katsu." Pulling her hand roughly from his own, she frowned and grabbed him by the arm. "I'm not doing you any favors. You're coming and you're going to make sure nothing happens yourself. It's you she needs, not me." Dragging his struggling form to the door, she pulled him off the veranda and headed out into the night.

X

Kenshin stood at the eastern most border of his palace city, staring up at the stars above and impatiently waiting for the black raven to make his report. It was difficult tracking anyone by night, but he wouldn't be able to rest until the cook was found. There were too many predators this close to the mountain, and although he had reassured Kaoru that nothing like that could have happened to her, he was finding the outcome to be more and more likely. No one had seen the small spider monkey walking through town, and Kenshin was getting a sneaky suspicion that she had wanted it to be that way. It would have been easy to conceal her slight body among the trees and then hop from one to the other. There were thousands of trees, both inside and out of the boundary wall. The woman could be anywhere.

The harsh panting of a dog warned of Sanosuke's return first, and Kenshin looked down expectantly. Foam was forming on the sides of his mouth, and he swallowed thickly before he spoke. "My lord… there is still no sign of her, but…" He panted some more, his hind legs folding underneath him as he sat back. "I thought you might want to know… we spotted your lady…" Kenshin frowned. "She was leading Katsu out around the border of the northern rice field. Soujirou's following her, with Hennya. They're not stopping, my lord." Letting out one last heaving breath, he was finally able to speak properly. "It looks like they might have some idea of where Tae is."

Closing his eyes, Kenshin sighed. _The woman is going to drive me crazy._ "That seems like a fair observation. I want you to wait here, Sanosuke, and tell the okashira when he returns what you just told me. Tell him to inform the others and then come find us. Nobody is to stop looking until I say so."

"Yes, sir." Flopping down as Kenshin disappeared into the sky, Sano rolled to one side and groaned. "Damn… I really need to get back in shape."

X

Yanking on Katsu's arm for the hundredth time, Kaoru leaned forward to catch herself as the loose rocks and slick snow under her feet gave way. The path was steep, but not truly dangerous. It was the darkness that was doing them no favors. Twice they had been forced to turn back, Katsu's eyes unable to correctly navigate the terrain without the helping rays of the sun. They were a long ways up, and a quick glance over her shoulder showed the indistinct stretch of the rice field below, the ocean a glittery black mass off in the distance.

"Are we almost there, Katsu-san?"

"I-I think so, milady." Breathing heavily, he was trying his hardest to keep up, and it made Kaoru wonder when exactly was the last time he had been up this path, and why they would have taken it in the first place when it was such a pain to traverse. "If I remember correctly, it should be just over this rise."

"Good." Saving her breath, she pushed off with her bracing leg and continued.

The top of the rise showed everything just as Katsu said it would be; a small dell, and at its center, a lone tree. Its branches were craggily, and absent of any form of life, a sad omen, Kaoru thought, if it was supposed to be a representation of their love for one another.

"Was there anywhere special you would stop when you were here?" Glancing around and squinting to see through the darkness, Kaoru studied each dark mass in the hollow, wondering if it were Tae.

"Just near the tree, milady. We would sit under its shade… and watch the blossoms dance."

There was nothing under the tree when they reached it, and Kaoru huffed in frustration. Turning her third circle around it, her breath coming in white puffs before her face, she stopped, glancing down at Katsu. Already half resigned, depressed and worn, he was leaning against the trunk, his arms wrapping around the bark.

"I was going to ask her to marry me." There was an ache in the whisper of his voice, a fervent desire to be part of such a dream. Then his tone turned bitter. "But then I realized how awful that would have been, and I hated myself for even thinking to ask her such a thing."

"But…" Shocked, Kaoru started to argue, unsure why he would say something so terrible.

"Was the thought really so appalling?" A thin voice threaded through the air above them, and Kaoru jumped, her head craning back. Tears were present in the question, and the stillness around them offered little covering for the despair in her gasping breath.

"Miss Tae…" Surprised, relieved, and anxious, Katsu jerked his head up, his fingers digging into the tree.

"Is it because of how I look?" A petite, irregular lump near the highest branches spoke of her presence, the shadow shifting as her words muffled. "Is it because I am no longer the way you remember me?" Katsu whimpered, hearing all of the words his lord had warned him she would say. "If so, then why haven't you said anything to me before? Why make me believe you feel something that you do not? Why Katsu?"

"You don't understand, Miss Tae." Forehead pressing into the bark, he fought for a way to explain. "It could have never worked."

"I know we could have never been together in any other way then simple words, but I would have been happy just being able to say I was your wife. I thought you felt the same, Katsu. I thought… it didn't matter, as long as we were together." She was crying in earnest, the accent in her voice painful. "I've been waiting for so long to hear you say you loved me. I thought you just needed some time, so I tried to be patient. But those words you spoke to me that night. They were so hurtful. I couldn't believe what you were saying. I wanted them to be a lie. But… this is the second time you've said you don't want me. I guess I have to believe it's true."

"You…" Trying to hide the torment in his mind, he swallowed and started again. "You will be just fine without me, Miss Tae. I know you will. So… why don't you come down and let us take you back home? Everyone is worried about you."

There was a long pause, and then a soft creak of a limb, suggesting she had moved. "You're right, Katsu. Everything is going to be just fine. You see I… thought of a way to make sure my presence no longer bothers you. After the last three days, it has even started to make me somewhat happy, because I'll be able to be just like you want me to. Just like you remember."

"Miss Tae?" Stepping back from the tree, alarm fighting to break into panic, he stared up at her shadowed figure. "Miss Tae, please… what are you doing?"

"Trying to make you happy, my love."

Pale light from the moon shot across a sliver of metal, and a loud splintering crack signaled the end of his world.

X

A/N: So… I think this is one of the saddest chapters I've ever written, but… too bad, you've already read it. -author ducks and hopes no one comes after her with a knife- Well, it started out on a good note. -nervous laughter- At least Kenshin is starting to act the way he should, though… it might just be his first failure as well. Such horrible repercussions I have insinuated. I will admit, this turned out a bit more drawn out and slightly different than the way I had imagined it, but I think most of my chapters have done that, because after all, as a daydream I can make them do whatever I want without having to worry about pesky things like making it sound real. Anyway, it still ended the same, so I'll be alright. Well, uh, review? Please? And uh… no hate mail? I know it was kind of mean to leave you with two cliffhangers in a row, but they've got more impact, and the after math of this chapter is going to be one big mess of twisted emotion. So… I couldn't fit it all on the end of here. I guess that kind of tells you what to expect in the next, and ciao for now. Hope you guys are still here for the next chapter. -author bites her nails in worry-


	24. Love's Truth

I have had more death threats because of that last chapter than any other story I've written. My boyfriend's grandma threatened to skin me!

Disclaimer: Tae doesn't belong to me, nor Katsu or Kaoru or Kenshin… etc.

**Chapter 24: Love's Truth**

Kaoru's startled shout reverberated off the surrounding rock and into Kenshin's ears at the same moment his wings shot open to pull him from his dive. Back winging hard, he grabbed for the small monkey, his hand engulfing the kitchen knife she had aimed at her neck. Sharp tree branches jabbed at his arms and torso, his feet scrambling to find purchase as he struggled with the surprisingly strong cook. Several limbs cracked and broke off from the trunk, his weight dropping abruptly to one side, and he snatched Tae off her own perch before snapping his wings forward and throwing them both backwards into the snow.

Someone yelped at the base of the tree, but Kenshin was too preoccupied with keeping the crazed spider monkey from sinking her teeth into his arm. Grunting as they landed, one wing catching at an awkward angle, he tossed aside the blade and pinned her to his chest with both arms. Screeching and crying, she fought against him, her wild behavior warning him that she was not in her right mind.

"Let me go! Let me GO!"

"Miss Tae!" Briefly his eyes were drawn upwards, taking in Kaoru as she held back the fraught lemur. Straining against the arm around his middle, he was reaching across the distance for Tae, his voice frantic.

A small hand popped him in the chin, and he growled, his attention returning to the monkey. "Be still, woman. You're trying my patience." Her screaming seemed to intensify, and he knew she was far beyond the point of reasoning. Moving with a speed he had not utilized in centuries, he pinched a pressure point in her neck, and she slumped, her voice dying off.

"Miss Tae! What did you do to her! Miss Tae! Miss Tae! Why won't you answer me! Please Miss Tae, you have to say something!" Still fighting, the lemur pulled Kaoru forward through the snow, frightened now that her silence meant something far worse than a simple loss of consciousness. There was an apprehensive set to Kaoru's features, an emotion that crossed the border of mere worry, but she held on with a stubbornness Kenshin recognized.

A large vulture appeared out of nowhere, his sharp claws reaching to squeeze at the side of the lemur's neck, and then he too was relaxing into forced slumber. Kaoru jumped back as Hennya materialized, her arms releasing Katsu as he briefly clutched at him, and then the vulture disappeared up onto a branch and everything was quiet.

Quickly Kenshin's golden eyes took in Kaoru's form to make sure she was unhurt, his gaze sweeping over the broken limbs at the foot of the tree, the imprints in the snow, and the cheetah lying stretched out behind her. Briefly he was thankful Soujirou had apparently pulled them both out of the way of the falling branches. However, the relief he felt was promptly followed by anger and indignity.

Gingerly sitting up, one arm still holding his cook, he stretched both wings and let his focus fall upon Kaoru's kneeling figure. "Did I not, my lady, ask you to please stay in your rooms?" Blues eyes met his then skated away. "Did I not say I would handle this?" Her head lowered slightly. "What exactly were you thinking?"

The expectance in his voice was strong, the silence afterwards so heavy, she finally spoke, though reluctantly, and her words were small. "I only wanted to help."

"That is untrue." Her head snapped up, wanting to deny, but he could see there was no conviction in the action. "If you had wanted to help you would have come to me with whatever information you had. Instead you drag that half-inept painter up one of the most dangerous trails on my mountain with snow on the ground and in the middle of the night. What you did was completely reckless." The corners of her lips were twitching downward, but she did not look away again. "What if something had happened? What if you were hurt? I would have then had three missing people to look for, and you would have frozen to death before I even realized you were gone."

"I-I wasn't thinking… I was just afraid we would get here too late."

"If my cook was planning on ending her life before tonight, she would have already done so. She was still undecided, and more than likely she would have stayed that way for awhile yet." Sapphire eyes widened, her shoulders trembling, and she gasped in a breath as the truth of his words struck home. _My interference nearly killed her… _"There was plenty of time for you to come to me, to let me handle everything." This time he looked away. "I do realize, Kaoru-dono, that I have not done much to incite trust in my abilities, but your lack of faith has… wounded me. Did you not want me to take over full responsibility of my people?"

Blanching, she froze, brows curling, and her head fell forward. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

The tightness in his shoulders loosened, and his eyes closed on a sigh. "My lady, I know that your heart is in the right place… but you need to learn restraint. All warriors must think before taking action, otherwise they will be forced to live with the consequences."

"I know."

There were tears in her voice, and it brought his attention sharply back to her, horrified to find her silently shaking with sobs into the hands covering her face. Almost instantly he decided that seeing her cry out of regret was no better than watching her cry out of hurt. The sound alone of her trying to fight it was awful. Swallowing, he stood, his steps hesitant as he came closer. "Kaoru-dono…" Her sorrow stirred something deep within him, a vague memory of a warm hand stroking his hair. Reaching to do the same, he flinched when she hiccupped, her whole body shaking as she fought for air through tensed muscles. Careful and light, he brought his hand all the way down on the top of her head, her hair soft under his palm, and her crying intensified.

Kneeling beside her, his free arm releasing Tae's limp form to lay next to Katsu, he glanced quickly at the other two still there. Both were politely turned away, and he was grateful for the semblance of privacy. "Kaoru-dono… there is no need to be upset. I only wanted you to understand." Gently his hand caressed the curve of her skull, his frown deepening when her head shook from side to side. Was she denying his claim, or was she trying to say she wasn't upset? "My lady, I assure you my intention was not to make you cry."

"I'm not crying 'cause you scolded me, Kenshin." Unnecessarily forceful, she gasped, sniffled, then turned her face into his chest, her hands clutching at his kimono. Startled, he stiffened, his hand stilling on her crown. "E-everything you said was true. I messed up, and Tae-san almost…" Her fists trembled against him, her forehead digging into his sternum as if she were trying to hide, and he understood what it was that had disturbed her so violently. Any death, even one indirectly connected to her, was more than just a violation of her sword style, it shamed her entire way of living. Relaxing, his other hand lifted to comfort her as well. Pausing at the sight of blood dripping down his palm, a cut leftover from the knife, he slowly lowered it back to the snow. "If you hadn't showed up… Kenshin, if you weren't here… it would have been so terrible."

"It's alright now, Kaoru-dono. Only, do not make a habit of it."

Again her head shook, and when she spoke he was glad that her crying had lessened. "I… I don't ever want to do that again." Her words made him blink, knowing they sounded familiar. "I promise… I won't interfere anymore. I'll do just like you ask." Her distress was a mirror of the same emotion he had felt at a much younger age, and it made him wonder what part that placed him in to play. Was he to be his father, or his brother? There was no anger in his heart or mind for her, and when he spoke, his words came almost naturally.

"Kaoru-dono… I greatly value your views." Smoothing down her ponytail, he dropped his hand to her shoulder and urged her to sit back. "I would not wish for you to simply say nothing if your own eyes have noticed something that mine have not. After all, you were the only one who thought to question Katsuhiro of Tae's whereabouts"

Sniffing and wiping at her face, Kaoru briefly met his gaze with her own. "You would have found her eventually. You said so yourself that Tae was still… indecisive."

"But who knows how long it would have taken us to look for her here, and no one but Tae knows how much longer it would have taken for her to solidify her resolve. We could have been too late. That does not mean I wish for you to continue running off on your own, but please… next time you will share your thoughts with me. Then we will decide on a course of action that places no one in danger." Looking down into her lap, she played hesitantly with her haori. "Yes?" Reluctantly she nodded.

"Alright."

There was still none of the fire in her voice that he was used to, but he was beginning to see that exhaustion was as much the cause for her breakdown as guilt. Scooping up the small monkey, he held her out to Kaoru. "I think it's time we get back to the palace. We will all need to get our rest after this." Again she nodded, her arms wrapping around Tae's small form and holding her like a child. Hooking an arm around Katsu's limp body, Kenshin stood and helped Kaoru to her feet.

"Soujirou, I want you to lead the way out of here. Hennya, find Aoshi and help him to inform everyone of the situation."

"Yes, sire." They chorused in unison, the vulture leaping from the tree while the cheetah padded his way to one side of the bowl-like dell. As Kaoru stood her blue eyes lingered on the small, weathered tree, and he was afraid for a moment that she would start crying again.

"Do you… think the tree will survive such harsh treatment?"

Several branches were broken and lying in the snow, many more hanging morosely at odd angles on one side the trunk. The tip of its height was snapped clean off, and it looked sad and pitiful, standing all alone, broken and lifeless. Sighing, Kenshin pointed. "Those branches are only small parts of the whole, my lady. They are not vital to the tree's survival, not as long as there are others left. What is most important is the trunk and below that, the roots. They are not so easily damaged or accessible. The tree will survive." When he looked away, he found her blue eyes watching him instead, and she smiled.

"Thank you, Kenshin." Sniffing one final time, she turned to follow Sojirou.

Megumi was waiting for them at the palace when they arrived, and everything that happened afterwards was a rush of activity. Kaoru insisted Tae stay in her own quarters, so that she could keep an eye on her. Katsu was placed under Sano's care at his urging, and Kenshin was left with making sure everyone out searching made it safely back to their own domiciles. By the time he was finished with his tasks and convinced nothing else was going to happen as a side-effect of the evening, the sun was beginning to make an appearance in the eastern sky. Giving up on sleeping, he headed into the pavilion just on the other side of Kaoru's and dug into the pile of documents.

X

Kaoru slept for a long time that day, and did not leave her pavilion for the rest of it. With no one to take his meals with, Kenshin spent his day doing paperwork. Tae woke up sometime after mid-day, and from the physician's report, was docile, but rather defeated. She only ate when Kaoru ordered her to, and refused to see anyone else. Katsu, so he had heard, was acting somewhat along the same lines, although Sano was not quite as nice when it came to making him do something. Strangely, his mind kept going back to that tree Kaoru was so worried about, watching in his mind's eye as the branches began to wilt in the absence of sun and nourishment.

Although he had been unaware of the affection his cook and painter shared until Kaoru had pointed it out, he had afterward ignored it as personal business. Such problems were not meant to be interfered with, after all his subjects did deserve some privacy. But then he remembered the painting. Katsu had meant to give it to Tae, a gift in exchange for her hand in marriage, but he had intercepted, lectured him, and then told him to get rid of it. The proposal had never happened, and now his cook was depressed enough to try and end her life. Something else was done to her, something else said, and against his better judgment, Kenshin was going to get involved.

Pushing aside the shoji to Katsu's room he stepped inside to find Sano sprawled in a corner, his ears drooping, and Katsu slumped against one of the walls. From the look of the rest of the room, Sano had been trying to force Katsu to eat, with negative results. Sano's head came up at his appearance, his eyes blinking in confusion, and a surprised acknowledgement fell from his mouth. Waving a hand distractedly, Kenshin studied instead Katsu's position, and then the life-sized painting on the wall behind him.

"Sanosuke." His golden eyes scanned the rest of the room, looking over the multitude of smaller paintings plastered over every inch of the walls.

"Yes, my lord?"

"Both you and Katsuhiro were friends with my brother, were you not?"

"Ye-es, my lord."

Kenshin nodded, stepping up to a sheet of paper and grabbing hold of its loose corner. "That means, in some ways, you knew my brother better than I."

"I… suppose so."

Finding that the thin paper came away easily, he pulled. "Was he a good friend?"

"Yes, my lord, he was."

More sheets fell to the floor, uncovering the shoulder of a second painting. "Did you get into trouble together?"

"Uh… sometimes."

"Did he ever abandon you to that trouble?"

"No."

A third painting came into view, the pile on the floor heightening. "I did not think he would. Just as you have not abandoned your friend."

Sano sighed and looked at Katsu. "No, my lord. I don't intend to leave the fool be."

"I have never had a friend. Not for my entire life. Now I am the master of this palace, and I have only my subjects. It has recently occurred to me, however, that they deserve the same type of devotion, and to abandon them to the trouble I have led them into is dishonorable." The final scrap came loose and the walls were completely bare, showing a circle of many angles and expressions on the human visage and physical embodiment of Katsu's heart. "I do not know if my interference will hinder more than help, but I am tired of simply doing nothing."

Grabbing Katsu roughly by the arm, Kenshin drug him into the middle of the floor. "Katsuhiro! I thought I had explicitly ordered you never to paint a human portrait ever again!"

"So you did, Lord Kenshin." Unemotional and dry, he hung by his arm, uncaring of the rule he had so blatantly broken. "Am I to be punished?"

Kenshin growled. "So you shall." Releasing him, he fisted a hand and smacked the backside of his knuckles across the lemur's cheekbone. Hitting the ground, the painter groaned, both hands cupping his head. "A lenient punishment for the damage you have done to my servant. It surprises me, Katsuhiro, that you would be so deliberately cruel. Or perhaps you are merely blind. Do you not understand the full extent of longing your paintings can entice? Do you, the very artist that has given them life, misinterpret the meaning you have put into their creation? Have you no sense or shame for their deadliness?"

"It was only one small painting." Face still pressed into the floorboards, his words were muffled and feeble. "I never thought it would hurt her."

"Her?" Advancing on him again, Kenshin bent swiftly and jerked him up by both arms this time, directing him at the painting before them. Happily Tae was twirling, the sleeves of her kimono swirling around her, her cheeks reddened, her eyes alight with merriment, and her arm reaching out as if to beckon another to join her. "Does the woman look hurt to you?"

Confused, Katsu stuttered. "But my lord… it is only a painting, what…?"

"Still you refuse to see." Shoving him closer, he urged him to look again. "Only a painting is it? And yet, it hurts you, doesn't it?" Trembling, the artist's head shook, trying to deny. "No? Do you not wish it to be so? Do you not wish her to be happy with you again? Do you not want her eyes to look at you like that?"

"I… I can't let her…"

"Tell me why."

"Because… because there are still those that remember my dishonor. They look at me with hate in their eyes, with distrust and disgust. I could not stand it if they were to look at her that way. She deserves no animosity, and that is what she will receive if her name were to ever be permanently bound to mine. They will punish her for my mistakes. I cannot allow that."

"Then you will do everything in your power to restore that honor to your name. If you truly wish to protect her from that, you will prove to everyone that you are not going to simply accept their ill-will as your punishment, but that you will instead work to atone and make yourself anew in their eyes. In the meantime, the best way you can protect her is to keep her near you. After all, it was not some collection of colorful ink that hurt her. It was you, Katsuhiro. Only you."

Breathless from the force of such a truth, Katsu gasped. "But… you said…"

"That you have hurt one of my servants, and so you have. He is a naïve soul, and even now these paintings continue to haunt him. He has even gone so far as to create a cage of torment within his own room; cocooning him in on all sides with longing and despair." Recognition dawned upon Katsu's features, and his deep black eyes swung around him. Relieved that he was finally beginning to understand, Kenshin stood up straight. "The damage you have struck upon yourself is spreading. I cannot allow such an epidemic to break out. There are too many lives within this palace that _I_ must protect."

Slowly Katsu's head bowed. "Am I to receive my true punishment now?"

"I think, Katsuhiro, that you have punished yourself enough. My order for you now is to make peace."

Silence stretched, and his softly spoken question quivered. "Do you think… I am not too late?"

Turning his back, Kenshin's sore wing stretched, and Kaoru's worried voice twitched his lip. "The tree is still alive." Dark eyes widened, both ignoring Sano's confusion. "It is battered and worn, but I think it has weathered worse."

X

Tae stared at the blanket, at the same pattern and color she had been staring at for the past five days. Words echoed in her mind, and she concentrated harder, trying to ignore them, to block out the sharp pain they caused. The seashell in front of her was circular, twisting to a sharp point. It's color was a beautiful blush of pink, textured and hard. The lip showed off the smooth interior, its metallic shade stunning in its range of hues. She had a small collection of such shells, tucked away inside a special box she kept in her room. When she was young, her parents used to take her down to the beach, and she would search for them in the warm sand. Sae was always there too, and they would compete to see who could find the most.

There was also a delicate jade comb in that box. A gift from her mother the day her parents retired to the country. That was also the day she graduated to head chef in the kitchens. Seeing them go was sad, as she loved her parents very much, but she was glad they weren't there for the curse. Glad they could live out the remainder of their lives in peace.

Next to the comb was a small container of lip balm, from her sister. To make her lips red and full. It was a tiny amount, but Tae knew how expensive the gift must have been. Back when she could have worn it, the market was mostly offered to ladies of rank, since they would be the ones using it the most often. To find anyone that would be willing to sell it to a servant was rare. Sae must have gone through a lot of trouble to get it. _Pity I never got to use it._

"_Here I got you a little something, sis."_

"_Sae! How did you get this?"_

"_Oh, you know me, I'm a people person. Go on, put some on, I want to see."_

"_I-I can't right now! I'm supposed to meet with the master later. He has guests coming to the palace and he has a special request for dinner."_

"_Hmph. Big ol' sour puss would probably be offended, huh?"_

"_Sae! Keep your voice down. You shouldn't speak that way about the master."_

"_Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I guess there's no big loss if you don't put it on now. I want you to save it anyway. It's for our big operation."_

"_What operation?"_

"_Don't act dumb, little sister. You know what I'm talking about."_

"_W-well I… I really don't think I do."_

"_Don't make me spell it out for you. If I do I'll make sure everyone in hearing range knows."_

"_Ok, ok, please… you wouldn't really tell everyone would you?"_

"_Of course not, you're my little sister, I have to look out for you. Now, like I was saying, this here little bottle is to help you get that cute court painter's attention."_

Tae's mouth twisted.

"_A little lip balm isn't going to get his attention, Sae. I work in the kitchens. I'm always sweaty and greasy and I smell like food. He… he's an __**artist**__. He should be surrounded by nothing but beauty."_

"_Uh-huh. Look here sis, I don't know if you've looked in a mirror lately, but your sixteen now. That means you're not a child anymore. Look at this! You're filling out more than I am!"_

"_Hey! Stop that!"_

"_And you got Mom's eyes. I wanted Mom's eyes."_

"_But you got Dad's. They're so much more interesting than mine."_

"_Oh?"_

"_Well, yeah, I'm not saying Mom's weren't pretty. They fit her because they were light and warm, like freshly baked pastries with sugar toppings. But Dad's liked to change. From soft and fluffy like silver goose down to stormy and treacherous like the clouds boiling up from the ocean horizon… What? Don't laugh! I like your eyes!"_

"_Alright. Tell me about Katsuhiro's eyes."_

"_W-what?"_

"_Ah-ah, you're blushing, little sister. Don't tell me his eyes have inspired such poetry in your thoughts."_

"_Don't tease."_

"_I'm not teasing, I think it's cute. And besides, like you said, he's an artist. I got you the lip balm because I know the color will attract his attention. What you have to do after that is make sure he hears you talk in your hopelessly romantic daydreams. It really will be perfect, you know."_

"_What makes you say that?"_

"_Well, he'll get the chance to paint beauty with his brush just watching you paint beauty with your words. You really are beautiful when you talk like that."_

The seashell blurred and Tae closed her eyes, but the darkness offered little for her to focus on. _I guess whatever beauty you were speaking of was only visible when I was human. I guess he was only attracted to that beauty. It… it wasn't like we were together before the curse, but those few small interactions were nice. He must have only stuck around me afterwards because he was hoping these forms would wear off and we would once again be normal. I should… feel lucky that he stuck it out for this long, but… at the same time, I see everything more clearly. It wasn't shyness or hesitance that kept him from legitimizing our relationship. He was stalling._

_It makes me wonder what would have happened if we did eventually turn back into normal. Would he have continued to lead me on until he found someone better? He is an artist. Artists are attracted to beautiful things. Perhaps he was going to wait until I aged beyond my youth and then found someone younger, more vibrant with life. He was thirty when we were changed, but I was eighteen. Much too old to be considered for marriage. Although it surprises me that no one else had caught his eye before that. Court painters were required to learn courtly manners since they were largely in the company of nobles. It wasn't even unheard of for a lesser noble to allow a younger daughter to marry a court painter. They were important, wealthy, and though bound to their lord, could contract assignments from visitors or even far reaching nobles hearing of their skill. Even for higher nobility they were sometimes taken as lovers, and that's not even strictly keeping to the ladies._

Sighing, Tae cracked her eyes open and stared once more at the large pattern of seashells. _What does it matter now? I have been disgraced. The young lord didn't even allow me the decency of taking my own life, and the lady won't leave me alone._ Looking up at Kaoru, her eyes frowning as she read through an old book, Tae half-smiled. _What a kind and caring lady. I'm so glad the young lord has her around. _There was a sharp knock on the door, and Kaoru looked up, her eyes blinking as she focused. _She's changed him, and everyone can see it. Someday, he will be a great lord. I hope she never leaves him._ Kaoru slipped out the shoji, leaving her alone. Head hanging back down into her chest, Tae resumed her study of the seashell.

"Miss Tae?"

Eyelids widening slowly, Tae went very, very still.

"Miss Tae, I… I wish to speak with you if… you would allow me." Hands fisting into the seashell covered blanket, Tae ground her jaw and shook her head. "Please, Miss Tae, it is important that I do." Another denial. "Then will you just listen? If you still don't want to speak when I'm done then I… I will accept your scorn as my punishment and… and go."

_Punishment?_

There was silence, and then he stepped closer, his feet tripping upon each other as per his clumsy nature. "I brought you something. Well, I… I brought you three, but… anyway, here." Something small and cylindrical entered her field of vision, and her lips pulled downward. "Actually, I'm only returning this one, but…"

Pain tore at her chest, knowing what was portrayed inside. "I don't want it."

He flinched, uncertain how to respond to her refusal. "But, Miss Tae, I thought…"

"It mocks me! I don't want to see it!" Smacking it aside, the noise of its rapid spinning filled the room until it crashed into the wall and clattered to a stop.

"Oh Miss Tae, it was never meant to mock you. It was a gift, meant to remind you of how beautiful your kindness is, to let you know that I have not forgotten for one moment any of that kindness you have shown to me."

"Then why did you take it away? Was that to show me my kindness was no longer wanted?"

"No, Miss Tae, no. I was only afraid. Afraid of what my paintings have caused, the hurt they incite. I did not want that pain to come to you. I never wanted you to be hurt. The thought alone crippled me."

"W-why should I believe such a thing?"

"Because I have never cared for anyone the way I care for you."

Trembling, Tae fought her traitorous heart, hating the romantic thing for every warm memory it conjured into her mind. Katsu was not a conniving man, he was sweet, he hated violence, he was naïve and adorably innocent. The slightest pain of another caused him pain. _"I wish I could capture your beauty to the fullest, Miss Tae. When you speak like that… I've never seen anything more stunning in my life."_ The tears pushing at the backs of her eyes were winning, and she gasped in a breath. "Are you trying to say… that you've been lying this whole time just to protect me?"

"Yes." Emotion tainted his voice now, and his head ducked down to the floor between his flattened palms. "And I'm so sorry I hurt you. It was not what I wanted. It was never what I wanted. I thought surely you would be okay, that you didn't need me."

"Did you think you were the only one who cared enough to make sacrifices? Did you think I was so fickle that I would simply shrug my shoulders and go elsewhere?"

Horrified, Katsu shook his head violently. "No. I have never thought of you in such an awful way. You are the truest person I have ever met, and I knew it would take rejection on my part to force you away. It was another part of your appeal, knowing that you would never leave me, that you would always be with me. Miss Tae, I have wanted you to be mine ever since the first moment I laid eyes on you. In fact, this painting," Reaching to the side, his hand hovered over the two other scrolls he had brought in, grabbing up the dustier one. "it was created the very night after I saw you. Later I thought it strange that I never saw you before then, since we both were born within the palace walls. You, however, were raised in the city, while I was raised here at the palace." Sitting up a little straighter, his arms pulled the scroll into his chest lovingly. "It took me all week to make sure it was perfect, and when it was done, I realized there was no way that I could give it to you. You didn't even know me, and you were still under apprenticeship. So I determined that I would keep it safe until the day I could present it to you as an engagement gift."

"You've kept it… for this long?" The pain was back in her voice, and he scooted closer, his head bowing forward again.

"We were only just getting to know one another when the palace fell into disarray, and afterwards I doubted whether you would wish to be with me, looking as I did. I thought, if I could out wait these forms, then we could be married. I was so pleased when you showed no displeasure with talking to me, even like this, and we only seemed to be growing closer to one another. I was still determined to wait, and since we did not age, or sicken, or die, I felt no pressure to hurry anything along. I was content just getting to know you.

"Then something terrible happened. Something I caused with my own two hands. It was the biggest disgrace of my life, and I hated the thought of pulling you into it. And so the wait grew and I tried to push you away, but you were just so sweet, and I wanted more than ever to keep you with me, and soon I forgot all about the shame, or perhaps I wanted to, so that I could be with you.

"And you never stopped being kind to me. The night of my birthday, seeing everything you went through just to surprise me, I knew… I knew that it no longer mattered. Never before have ever felt such conviction. So I excused myself and went back to my room. I found this scroll with the intention of giving it to you. But then something happened to remind me of my shame and that conviction wavered. Worse, it reminded me of the folly I had committed by already giving you a painting. After that, nothing else mattered to me but getting that painting back. I had to keep you safe."

"And now, Katsu?"

"And now, this painting is no longer suitable." Tossing the old, dusty scroll over his shoulder, he ignored her cry of incredulity and picked up the third and final scroll. "We have endured much, and such an immature painting cannot capture our relationship in an even remotely acceptable fashion. This one I have spent the past three days and nights working on, and it is my new engagement gift to you, Miss Tae." Holding it up horizontal in both hands in offering, his head bowed between his uplifted arms. "If you wish to accept it, that is."

None of the emotions she had expected flooded her heart, only a calm that kept her hand from shaking as she plucked the painting from his grasp. Slipping the knot free, she let it roll open across the bedspread in front of her, covering the distracting seashells and demanding her attention in a way she could no longer try and ignore. Eyes sweeping from top to bottom, she felt her lips tremble and the flood gates burst.

"It's beautiful."

Gently his arms encircled her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder, and she leaned back into his embrace. "I thought so too."

Painted in soft and vibrant colors was their tree, standing alone in its little dell, in full bloom and basking in radiant sunshine. It was no longer whole. Time and a small amount of abuse had left a scar, deforming its original magnificence and biting into an upper portion, leaving it bare. In spite of its careworn blemish, the rest of it glowed with vitality and life, looking all the more lovely because of its imperfection.

Resting on the grass below, cooling off in the shade of its petals, sat the couple. Tae in a charming kimono of rich purple and circular spotted designs of white, and Katsu in a less extravagant outfit of black, to hide any stains of ink. Their backs were leaned against the trunk, their heads supporting one another's, and they happily slept of the effort from the climb. Between the V of their bodies, their hands were interlaced loosely, and just there, a bare hand's space from their fingers, bravely pushing up through the grass and tough soil, was a newborn sprout of dogwood.

Two large tear drops plopped onto the paper, and Tae jumped, her hand going to her eyes to wipe the moisture away. "Oh, I've ruined it!" Dismayed, regret briefly tinged her elation and she tried to sit back, but Katsu was still behind her.

"No. Now it truly is perfect." Holding her tighter, he smiled.

X

A/N: Awwww. And they lived happily ever after. The end. Oh wait… I still have another obstinate couple to deal with, don't I? Well, hogs wallop. Alright, first things first… you guys thought I killed her! Lmfao! Well, there were some of you that were suspicious, and that's probably because you guys know me too well. I couldn't kill Tae! She's so sweet! Now some of the other characters… lol.

I would like to thank a special reviewer for keeping me on track. Sometimes I get caught up in the story and it sidetracks me from some of the other issues happening. Ahem… such as Kaoru blatantly kicking Kenshin to the curb after she's just spent the entire last few months of her life trying to get him to take charge. Good grief. Nothing like offering a helping hand and then punching him in the face. -author rolls eyes at herself- Anyway, it worked out pretty well, though, because it was something Kaoru needed to learn anyway, and she does kind of need that beat into her a little. Independence is fine, but being stubborn, reckless and thoughtless is another. So thanks skenshingumi

So, Kenshin really is taking care of business now, and things are pretty much going to stay that way from now on. Yay! That being said, there are a few of you who are concerned about the length of this story, and I must say, it has begun to worry me as well, but I still have so much left to do! So, after looking it over and remapping it out in my head, it looks like this story has gone into a three part category. The meeting. The friendship. And the finale/love section. That means, we have just finished with part number two. Sounds like a cause for celebration to me! Oh, well alright. If you guys don't want to. Well anyway, just so everyone has a heads up. Sorry it seems to be turning into a long story, but I've limited myself to an average of twelve pages per chapter because after that I start getting antsy and irritable and my writing goes downhill. So I promise this is for quality purposes.

So review, tell me what you thought, what you expect, what you want, etc. I like getting feedback, especially if there is a particular part you liked. That lets me know I'm appreciated. See you later. Buh-bye.


	25. Competition

That will be all the sweetness for awhile, so soak it in and get ready for the pain. (Just kidding.)

Disclaimer: I'm not really a competitive person.

**Chapter 25: Competition**

Laughter tinkled through the air, slipping its way around solid walls and thin rice paper. It was Kaoru's laughter, and Kenshin loved to hear its happy sound. On any other day it would have been welcome, especially after the countless audiences he had held, but a frown marred his features instead. Today it was annoying. Today it was not pleasing. Letting out a controlled breath, he nodded his head at the lion seated across from him, missing the interest that briefly lit Kogorou's eyes. Their meeting was finally over with, the sun high in the sky marking the end of their discussion, and soon the midday meal would be served. After that, Kenshin was determined to spend a few hours with Kaoru, even if it meant watching from the side of the dojo as she trained.

"Thank you for the update, Kogorou-san. I am pleased both Yahiko and Yutaro are doing well."

"Yes, I wish I could say I had a hand in their progress, but I'm afraid I have to be honest and give recognition where it is due. Soujirou-kun has been the biggest influence on their training. Perhaps because he was given the opportunity to spar against you all those years ago."

"He was a worthy opponent." Voice just a touch firm, he rose from his cushion.

"But never quite a match, ne, my lord?" There was amusement in Kogorou's tone, and Kenshin paused to consider him.

"No. It was never in me to lose."

"Of course, my lord." The large cat was fighting a smile now, and Kenshin grumbled low in his throat before exiting the room, Kogorou close behind him.

The laughter sounded again, louder, more carefree, and slightly breathless. It made him feel irrational, it made his chest hurt. Needing to hurry, his steps quickened, fighting the tension in his muscles, and as he emerged into the sunshine his eyes flattened into slits. If it didn't stop soon he was not going to be responsible for his actions.

"I was hard pressed to keep them apart after that, my lady. No matter what the age, children will still be children I suppose."

Kaoru was seated on the veranda, her legs swinging merrily off the edge as she laughed along with the large cheetah laying next to her. She was leaning against one of the posts, her hands playing with her necklace distractedly, and Kenshin wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but she was showing the cat a side of her that was rarely witnessed. One he thought only he got to see. It was not an enjoyable notion.

Still giggling, Kaoru shook her head. "Poor Yahiko-chan, Yutarou-kun knows all the right buttons to push when it comes to him, doesn't he?"

"The kid makes it too easy." Mournfully teasing, his head shook as well. "I've been trying to warn him against letting his temper get the best of him, but he's still got a lot to learn."

Sighing, Kaoru let the necklace drop and then grinned mischievously. "Well, if you ask me, he probably picked up that temper from hanging around Kenshin for so long. I won't say I'm envious. You definitely got your job cut out for you."

Soujirou's answer was careful, and Kenshin was surprised by the hurt her statement caused. True though it may have been, hearing her talk about his flaws to another so casually felt like a form of betrayal towards their friendship. Glancing down at Kogorou standing next to him, he found he liked his expression even less.

"Are you confident you have enough experience to win this type of competition, my lord?"

Anger clenched his jaw shut, and he looked away, finding that Kaoru's sapphire eyes had switched to him, her smile widening. "Right, Kenshin?"

Ignoring the lion, he stepped closer to the pair on the walkway, answering coolie. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono, I didn't hear what was said."

"Oh." She seemed confused for a second, but accepted the hand he offered to help her up. "We were just talking about Yahiko-chan."

"Ah, what a coincidence. So were we." Dropping his eyes heavily on the cheetah, his lips were stiff as he addressed him. "Kogorou-san tells me you have been a good role model for the boys, Soujirou."

"I suppose." Answering slowly, cautiously, Soujirou's light blue eyes met his warily. "The boys have taken a liking to me."

"Hmm, no doubt they are impressed by your skills. I can think of only a few others that are even close to your level. That doesn't leave you with much of a choice when it comes to demonstrating, does it? An unfortunate side effect of your grooming, I suppose."

"Grooming?" Kaoru's voice interjected into the atmosphere of tension that was slowly growing between the two. A slight smile tugged at the corner of Kenshin's mouth as Soujirou explained tersely.

"I was Lord Kenshin's personal sparring partner, my lady. Such a position required that I be trained well in combat. Otherwise," His eyes switched back to his lord. "I would not have survived."

"What do you mean?" Frowning, Kaoru glanced quickly at each. "You wouldn't have really tried to kill him, right Kenshin?"

The half smile on his face melted as his eyes swung to her, abruptly dismayed by the insinuation of Soujirou's words. In that moment he realized Kogorou was right to question his abilities. He did not have the experience to win such a fight. By using Kaoru's bottomless well of compassion to his advantage, Soujirou had soundly beaten him into the ground, and without one thought he had walked right into the trap.

Knowing he had lost even one match against the cheetah sparked a vile mass of frustration in his gut. Lips twisting, his head jerked away. "If I had wished him dead, he would not now be here." Shooting a glare at Soujirou as if to remind him of his mercy, his thoughts transitioned easily into that temper Kaoru had spoken of. "Perhaps when you tire of babysitting, Soujirou, you could make time in your schedule for a quick spar or two. I could not approve of my personal guard becoming complacent training boys and forgetting his true duty."

Ears pinning back, Soujirou ducked his head. "Of course, my lord."

"Kenshin…"

"It is time for lunch, my lady." Stalking off without waiting to see if she would follow, he was tense until her soft footfalls echoed after him. It was not right, though. It was not what he wanted. Brow furrowing deeply, his eyes briefly closed. _I do not even know what it is that I want, but what I don't want is clear…_ Her happily smiling face appeared in his mind's eye, watching as another brought her laughter to life. _I don't want her to ever look like that again because of someone else._

"Kenshin?" Gently her hand touched his arm.

Still angry, he avoided her gaze. "What is it, my lady?"

"I know that you have been under a lot of stress lately, but you shouldn't be so hard on Soujirou-kun. I think he's the perfect choice to train those boys."

A muscle next to his nose jerked, its twin down his neck a following twitch. "Of course, Kaoru-dono, why wouldn't the Heavenly Sword be a perfect choice?" Bitter, he rolled his shoulder to dislodge her touch.

"Heavenly Sword?"

An old memory tossed up from the depths of his mind, and his resentment mixed with loathing. "The title given to Soujirou… by Shinta-sama." Nothing more was said on the way to the dining hall.

Once they were seated, served, and eating Kenshin's temper had cooled enough to allow another emotion to taint his heart. One he was getting to know very well. Golden eyes drooping, he let his bangs cover his face, staring down at the dishes before him and listening as Kaoru chatted away with his cook. On the very first manageable spring day, Tae and Katsu had been married and were now residing in one of the far reaching pavilions, closest to the kitchens for her convenience. Everything seemed to be going well for the couple, and a part of Kenshin was happy for them. Very few good things had come about during the reign of this curse, and any small moment of joy was celebrated by everyone. Even, it seemed, those that Katsu imagined still felt anger towards him and the slew of deaths those seven hundred years ago.

As Tae left, Kaoru turned back to him and began to merrily babble about this or that. Listening with only half an ear, his golden eyes followed the small spider monkey, wondering briefly what it would be like to experience the bliss she could now claim. Would it be the same carefree abandonment one felt as a child? Frowning, he returned his attention to his food. His childhood had been so long ago he could barely even remember the vague sensation of freedom. There were a few memories; of his mother's laughter, an open field, swiping a treat from the kitchen when no one was looking. All too soon they faded into the rigid discipline and displeased gaze of his father's training. Nothing after that had been joyful.

At least, not until a child with blue eyes had shown up at his palace and turned everything upside down. With one small yank of her child's fist she had shortened his time by a few centuries, the hundreds of blossoms disrupted by her unknowing desire breaking free from that cursed cherry tree, flying freely through the air in one last moment of beauty before shattering upon the ground below. And yet… he was unable to feel anger towards her for taking his time away. In fact, there was instead a sense of liberation and, on a certain level, amusement. Respect, as well, was present within his mind, awed by this young girl who had enough daring to walk through the forest alone, push through the gates of a palace that was supposed to house a most fearsome creature, and straight into the little shrine that even he did not like entering. There she had defied the sorceress, plucked one of the petals, intact, and then proceeded to ask if it was alright for her to keep. That day spent with her was one of the most amusing days of his life.

Now she was back, not as a child, but as a woman, and everything was different. Everything was changing, had changed, or would soon be changed. The friendship they had created was at its limit, it could no longer stay where it now was, even if a part of him wished for it to. Time was slipping by, always without him, always transforming and altering, forcing growth and adding or taking strength. Kaoru wasn't aware of it, she was still too young to notice, still a part of the flow where everything would change naturally for her. Kenshin could see it, though. As a being trapped outside of time, it was all too easy to spot the signs. Signs that had ignored him for so long.

Cheerfully she was still prattling away, ignorant to his silence or trying to fill it purposefully. Nothing she was saying was important, he knew it, and so did she, and yet still she insisted. Perhaps it was her own way of saying she did notice, whether subconsciously or in anxious denial. It was heartening to think that maybe she did not want their friendship to end either, comforting to know that she enjoyed the time they spent together. A small smile lit the darkness of sorrow that was painted atop his anger and frustration, momentarily relieved by the thought.

"Soujirou-kun said he wouldn't mind escorting me around the gardens since you've been so busy. Once the trees start blooming, I thought I might take him up on the offer."

Rage overshadowed all of his previous thoughts, and he was reminded that he wasn't the only one now sharing a friendship with her. Kaoru was now seen more often with the cheetah than him. It was an unfortunate side effect of the search and rescue situation Tae had instigated. After saving both her and Katsu from the branches he himself had broken from the tree, Kaoru and Soujirou had become close. They laughed easily together, chatted easily together, and were much more relaxed and carefree than Kenshin could ever be with anyone. It didn't seem to matter that with her Kenshin was at his most calm and peaceful, because even then he was still on guard. He still second guessed himself, still held himself back, he was still careful. Now that he was taking over control of his palace and spending much of his day dealing with the problems he should have been handling from day one, he had much less time to spend with her. She had to find something to fill her day, and that something was a large spotted cat that seemed to have much in common with her.

After finding her that first time, sitting in her training clothes, a towel around her shoulders and her eyes lit with laughter, something between them had changed. He was no longer as calm, no longer as peaceful. His mood swung from irritable to apathetic to sorrowful, and when they were together, he couldn't look her in the eye. More and more often Soujirou would enter their conversations. More and more often Kenshin said nothing at all. Some drowning part of him recognized the signs. Time was flowing on without him and soon, if nothing was done to stop it, he would be replaced by another.

With an audible crack the chopsticks in his hand snapped in two, and Kaoru jumped and stared. Golden eyes swinging slowly to his right hand, he too gazed upon the broken utensils, confused himself on what had happened. The beautiful ivory she had picked out for him her very first day lay useless within his grip, and he thought of the sorceress and her words. They were angry with him, he remembered her saying. Angry because they only wished to please her and he had instead hurt them… hurting her.

"I'm sorry." The words whispered from his mouth, and through his fall of hair he could see her frowning. She didn't understand, but then… neither did he.

"I-it's alright, Kenshin. I'll just… get you another pair."

"No." She froze with her hands on the table, ready to push herself up. "Finish your meal, Kaoru-dono. I will get my own." She seemed surprised, astonished, amazed even, but breathlessly relented, and he stood to retreat into the kitchens. A welcome retreat, he realized, because it was getting harder and harder to think clearly when she was around.

There was no one in sight as he snuck into the still warm and aromatic side of the kitchen. A peek into the wash room showed it was empty as well. Voices were murmuring from the outside, however, and a foreign sense of intrusion pressed down on his stomach as he snuck up to the cracked shoji to see what was going on.

The kitchen staff was eating, along with a few of the other servants that were close to them. The servants had their own dining hall to eat in, but it seemed a few of them liked to eat together and share companionship. The atmosphere was warm and easy, the talk light, teasing, or kind. It made him feel like a trespasser, an unwanted bystander that had no place in their tight knit group. It was the same developing feeling that he now experienced when he came upon Kaoru and Soujirou. Like he was an outsider. Like he had no place.

_Is this the sacrifice I must make in becoming the master? Must I give up everything that I have come to enjoy, separate myself from the one person who has come to accept me, withdraw myself to a place far beyond the reach of those around me and look on as a mere spectator? Can I never be a participant? Can I never own this happiness myself?_

Katsu shifted and Kenshin's eyes were drawn to him, watching as his arm casually, naturally, curled around Tae's shoulders, how she leaned into him. It reminded him of the painting he still had hidden in his rooms, of Kaoru's hand warmly enclosed within his own. He had wanted that. More than anything in his life, he had wanted to know what kind of emotion would accompany the action. That evening, watching the sunset and wondering if their friendship was over, scared that her presence would reveal a rejection he could not live with, her strong fingers had curled around his own. Now he knew what it was like. Now he could no longer say he was ignorant. Those sensations were still too twisted and fierce to correctly identify, but he would not object to their reappearance.

_I want that again. _The recognition burst within him, and he looked away, his hands fisting against the wooden frame of the shoji._ When it was just us. When there was no one else to demand her time. I don't want there to be someone else. I don't want to share her attention._ Whatever he wanted, though, he had to face the truth. There was someone else, and he was trapped in a position that let him do little about it.

Turning back to the room he decided against disturbing them. It couldn't be hard to find chopsticks, and he didn't want these emotions staining his actions, making him vulnerable, not in front of his servants.

It was sometime later when he finally noticed Kaoru's presence standing behind him. He was having no luck finding the chopsticks, but he had no annoyance left to spare for their absence. So when he turned, his eyes meeting hers, he could only blink and feel sorry for himself. Like a large chasm, the gap between them was nearly tangible.

"You've been gone quite awhile, Kenshin. Have you been looking by yourself?" Sighing, his eyes cast themselves back over the shelf he was rummaging through, and he nodded. "Why didn't you just ask Tae-san to help you?"

He shrugged. "They are eating and I did not wish to disturb them."

A quick flit of shock widened her eyes, and then she smiled, her head jerking. "Come on. I think she keeps them over here." Within seconds she had the ivory utensils in her hand, her smile widening teasingly as she offered them. "You should have just let me come get them in the first place, Kenshin. Your food's probably cold by now." Avoiding her gaze, he shrugged again and the smile fell from her face. There was a couple seconds of silence, his thumb running along the smooth surface of ivory.

"You're mad about something." The abrupt statement caused amber eyes to dart back to her face and she ducked her head to play with her kimono sleeves. "Is it what I said earlier?" Both of her hands flew out to the side and she spoke without waiting for an answer. "I was just teasing. I didn't mean to upset you. I mean, my temper's just as bad as yours and I just wanted… to bring you in on the fun. You've been so busy lately and you haven't been speaking to me at all, and I haven't seen you laugh in such a long time. I know what you're doing is important and I'm glad that you're taking responsibility and I don't want you to quit it's just…" Her hands came back to fidget with her necklace, its soft glow brightening as her fingers rubbed its surface. "I miss you, Kenshin."

The tight breath he was holding relaxed from his lungs, and the only emotion he could process was relief. Swallowing, he stood just a little straighter, his chin lifting to better study her face. "I've missed you as well, my lady." Sapphire eyes shyly looked up at him and she blushed, but smiled.

"Really?"

His brows furrowed, completely serious and completely confused. "Of course. I would not have gone through so much trouble to make sure my afternoon was free if I did not like spending time with you."

Face brightening, he could see the child that was still within her, eager to play, but a shadow of maturity pulled her up short. "Is that going to be okay? I mean, are you sure it's not going to mess anything up?"

Feeling a touch of the old camaraderie they shared, he chuckled and shook his head. "I have worked very hard to make sure I have this time off, my lady. Did you think I would simply skip my duties and leave everything in disarray?"

"Well, no…" Huffing, she jabbed her hands on her hips. "Geeze, Kenshin, I was trying really hard to be thoughtful and not selfish. You don't have to make fun of me for it."

Laughing, his hand rested lightly between her shoulder blades as he guided her through the doorway. "I would do no such thing, my lady."

Misao turned away from the crack in the shoji to shoot a wide grin at the others. "Oh yeah, you guys. I'm winning a bet."

"Don't get too cocky, weasel, summer will be here before you know it." Sounding really sure of himself, Sano belched and flopped down on his side.

"So, spring's the best time of year for love, don't you know that mutt?" Sticking her tongue out, Misao leaned into Aoshi's side, her cheek rubbing against the feathers on his chest as if to prove a point.

"Actually, Misao, I think you're talking about hormones." Reveling in a patch of sunshine, Megumi corrected her in an offhand, slightly bored manner.

"Whatever. It's still going to help me win a bet."

"Oh really, you guys, who cares about a bet." Sweet and dreamy, Tsubame spoke up, her large brown eyes staring off in the distance. "I think it would be great if Lord Kenshin finally found some happiness. After all, look at all the trouble he's gone through just to make sure we're all happy." Glancing at Yahiko, she shyly ducked her head.

"I agree, Tusbame-chan." Squeezing Tae a bit tighter into his side, Katsu's dark eyes closed. "So much of our lives have been clouded by darkness. It would be nice for our secluded palace to finally see some sunshine."

"Right. So who's going to help me win a bet?" Eager and still grinning, Misao joined in as they all shook their heads and laughed."

X

It was a little sad that after it was all said and done, the only thing Kenshin and Kaoru had to talk about after being apart for so long was his audiences. Kaoru was still more than interested, though, so it made him feel better about the conversation. He had, at one point, asked her if she would like to attend them with him, but for now she did not wish to get in the way. He had a feeling that their misadventure up the mountain by the old dogwood tree had frightened her away from trying to make decisions for others. Slowly, he was hoping to get her back into that eagerness, because then he could keep her by his side during those audiences, and not wonder what she was doing and with whom while he was occupied.

The first couple of weeks afterwards had been tiring, but then the beginning of anything was always tiring. After reviewing Kaoru's list of people and sending out summons to their homes, he had met with each and every one of them. All of the ones he had regular interactions with were easy and took to their assignments without a fight and in fact seemed to relish the acknowledgement and new responsibilities. It was the ones he did not see or feel familiar with that made it hard to delegate to.

Toki, a large beautiful white swan, was polite, soft spoken, and reminded him of his mother. Her dark swan eyes seemed to encourage him along in his talk, and when it was all over she assured him she would handle her duties over the female servants without mishap. Her brother, Gentatsu, on the other hand, made him feel nervous, even though he was just as easy going as she was. It was probably the way he liked to laugh, and seeing it come from the sharp beak of a hawk did nothing to lessen his anxiety. As the master he did not let his emotions show, though, and his sigh of relief when the hawk was gone was loud.

The others were a multitude of faces he soon became very familiar with. Some had more problems to take care of than others. Koki, a large stag, needed little help. He ran the fields with a stern hand and had been dealing with many of his problems personally for years. Though, having an acting lord would make enforcing them much easier, he had assured. Tomoki, a very large and fluffy panda, was the same in the orchards, though he was still trying to figure out a way to keep the birds away from his fruit trees. Shinobu, a tough and scarred kangaroo, was bored to pieces without something to work on. The palace had little decay, thanks to the curse, and only natural disasters like lightning strikes or floods ever produced any work for him.

Yuya and Ran were the biggest problems. They fought constantly, and Kenshin was at his wits end trying to keep them from going at each other's throats. The only thing that kept him from letting them was Yuya's smaller stature. All it would take was one wrong step from Ran's oversized elephant foot and the mole would be dead. Strangely it was Hania, a small dormouse, that was able to calm them the best. She had a calming way about her, and her clever words were just as skilled as her fingers when it came to repairing torn clothing.

Shun was the next to biggest pain. He was a rather cocky stallion and after trying to deal with him civilly and professionally for several days, Kenshin had lost his patience and rapped the damn horse hard on his nose. It had frightened him for a second, watching him lose his footing and drop to the ground, but well worth it afterwards. Shun no longer had an attitude when they spoke, and was working well with him on the branding idea Kaoru had come up with. Too many times, it seemed, they had mistaken curse-changed animals with the real ones. Thankfully nothing fatal had happened, but there had been a few close calls, and there were some very unhappy parents because of it.

The hunting and education divisions pretty well took care of themselves, but still kept him updated and had some minor issues that he helped with. Norio, a large eagle, was old, respectful, and reminded Kenshin of a general. They owed much of their wild game to him and none of the other hunters even questioned his new position as their superior. Sachi, on the other hand, was all alone in her endeavors, but her patience was shown in the dignified turtle shape she had been given.

Which left Shigure. Kenshin had to admit that Shigure was one of his favorites, mainly because he never saw him much, but also because he remembered Shigure. It had taken him awhile, but after his first few conversations with the stately egret, he recalled the voice and mannerisms. Shigure had fought in the wars with his brother. Shigure had been a firm supporter of Shinta, and after his death had retired from the fighting to take up a more calming hobby. Gardening was undemanding, soothing, and rewarding, but most of all, gardening allowed you to bring plants to life in lieu of bringing death to people. Also, he always seemed to have a proverb stuck up his sleeve that pertained to any situation.

"It sounds like everything is going great, Kenshin. I'm glad."

"Yes, I am as well. Since things are beginning to calm down, I will have more extra time… so there is really no need for you to have an escort through the gardens. I will make certain I have time to take you. You should not have been afraid to ask me in the first place."

"I suppose, but I didn't want to be a bother, and Soujirou-kun said he didn't mind at all, so you don't have to go out of your way."

"It's no trouble!" Snapping, his shoulders hunched. _Will I not be rid of the damn cat for even one afternoon?_

"Alright." Agreeing quickly to hopefully calm him down, they sat in silence, staring out across the budding courtyard. Sighing, Kaoru dropped her eyes to the clawed hand resting on the walkway between them. For what was not the first time her thoughts returned to the spelled cherry tree and the still unanswered question of the curse. She had been trying to wait for a good time to ask again, but there didn't seem to be such a thing. A part of her knew she could confront Tomoe about it again, and would probably get her answer, but she wanted to hear it from Kenshin first. Going to the shrine felt like sneaking around behind his back, and she hated to do that.

Stealing her nerves and knowing they didn't have much time left alone before the real world would once again demand his attention, Kaoru reached for his hand and pulled it into her lap so that she could play with his fingers. It was a very personal gesture and she could feel the stiffness of his muscles as he froze. Hiding her smile, she imagined his inner reaction, his conscience insisting on the impropriety of their posture.

"Kenshin… there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about, but I'm afraid… you will be mad at me for bringing it up."

"Then… don't say anything." The warmth of her fingers playing with his was drugging, the sensation like a fuzzy tingling down his arm, and he did not wish for it to end. Distantly he understood the truth of her words. If she were to bring up something he did not like, then this atmosphere of closeness would disappear.

"Or perhaps… you should try not getting angry."

Yes, there was that too. Communication was a vital key to any relationship, a lesson he had learned as the master, and if there was something they needed to talk about then he needed to try and listen. There was a warning in her voice, however, that suggested nothing would ever be the same after this. Breath shaky in his lungs, he nodded. "I will try, Kaoru-dono."

"Thank you."

Waiting fretfully for the words he would supposedly not like, the tension grew as she seemed to be in no hurry now to start the conversation. Carefully she explored the contours of his palm, the hardness of one black claw, the rough texture of red scales. Finally unable to withstand the wait, he turned to look at her, curious and reluctant. Head ducked, shoulders slumped, her features were curled in that telling sign of tears, and his apprehension evaporated into worry. "Kaoru-dono…"

Starting at the sound of his voice, she gasped in a breath, her fingers tightening around his. There were no tears yet, but she was upset, beyond a doubt. "Why did this happen, Kenshin?" The warmth inside him turned cold, and he stopped midway in his wish to comfort. "I've been… thinking about it and trying to understand, but… I can't, I just can't. And I need to. I've found that I have to know. This place is too much a part of me now for me not to know anymore." Lifting her head, her eyes looked into him, through him, their depths wavering, pleading, asking to be told. "I need to know what happened, Kenshin. I need for you to tell me."

Something vulnerable lightened the gold of his irises, his pupils softened, large and round. Shaking his head, he tried futilely to deny her. "Please don't ask that of me." Sharply the bones of her fingers dug into his own as his grip tightened. "I don't wish for you to know."

The lower part of her stomach dropped and she swallowed, tasting a touch of fear. "Is it… really so awful?"

Hesitating, he nodded. "Yes." She appeared undecided and his anxiety grew. "Please, Kaoru-dono, do not force me to say. Not to you."

The hand not caught in his grasp stroked over the top of his knuckles. "It was something you did, wasn't it? That's why no one else knows why this happened to them."

Looking away, his head tilted so that his bangs covered him from view, trying to hide from her and his confession. "Yes." Slowly his hand lifted, touching the scar on his face, and he knew she did not miss the significance of the action. "You thought this scar had a story, but it is not one that should be bragged upon. It reminds me, everyday, that I have only ever brought those around me suffering. I have tried to keep you from that suffering, and now… you wish for me to lead you blindly into it. I don't wish to do that."

"But what if there's a way for me to help? Tomoe-dono told me about the tree, about how it is the center of the curse and how the petals mark the time. I've had a lot of time to think about it, Kenshin, and… it's my fault you don't have that much time left. I shortened your time, and now I want to pay you back. Please, Kenshin, I want to help."

"I have never been angry with you for what you did. You don't owe me anything, Kaoru-dono."

"But what about everyone else? What did they ever do to deserve this fate? Haven't you at least wanted to help them if not yourself?"

"Of course…"

"Then let me do it for them, if you won't let me do it for you." His head tilted further away from her, and she could feel him trying to pull away. A part of him experienced a painful sort of pleasure, knowing that she wished to do so much to help him. Another part felt only fear.

"It is useless. I don't even understand what is needed to be done to break the curse."

"But Tomoe-dono does." Eager to win her argument, she pulled out her final card. "Doesn't she?"

Reluctant, his face contorting, he agreed. "Yes."

"Then let me ask her." Both hands cupped around his one, she clenched them together, pulling on his arm. "Please, Kenshin. I won't go unless you say it is alright."

If only because she was telling him that he held sway over her decision, he knew he could not deny her. Their relationship had found the breaking point, and after this, everything would be different. If he was to deny her, if he was to agree… it didn't matter, because nothing would stay as it now was. The warmth of her presence, the touch of her hand, all would be gone by tomorrow, no matter what he decided.

Gently pulling her hand to his face, he pressed the soft skin of its back into his scales. "Very well, you have my permission."

"Thank you."

"But I warn you, my lady…" Slowly dropping her hand to his chin, he met her gaze, intently studying the expression of trust and comfort she wore when near him. "you will never look at me the same again."

X

A/N: Well, what a wonderful start to part three! It's kind of like starting a whole new story or something. Except everyone has previous knowledge of the characters and their experiences. Ah well, looks like Kenshin has some competition. This wasn't original to the story, but I thought it kind of needed after trying to figure out how I was going to get his butt in gear. Poor Kaoru doesn't know what's going on, but Kogorou does. And then on to the curse. Yay! Finally! This story took me on one heck of a detour away from it for awhile, but here it is, and everyone knows what that means for the next chapter. Ahh! We get to learn the truth! About time! Alright, I think I did alright getting a good dose of everything into this chapter, so perhaps you all know what to expect in the future. Please, as always, leave me a review, and tell me what you thought, and next week I will hopefully have another chapter for you to read. All the wonderful truth about Tomoe, Kenshin and the curse. See ya!


	26. Hate's Truth

Sorry for the cliffhanger. I actually didn't even think about it being one. You might wish you were still waiting after reading this.

Disclaimer: Everyone owns a touch of hate… and it is never pretty.

**Chapter 26: Hate's Truth**

The echo of Kenshin's warning still rang in her mind as she stood before the shrine, and a chill that had nothing to do with the cool breeze ran up her back. For a moment she wavered, one hand fisting around her necklace, and she wanted to turn back. What if he was right? What if what she found out was something she couldn't handle? Would she forever regret her decision and wish she had simply kept her ignorance in favor of preserving a wonderful friendship with the master?

Warmth spread through the hand wrapped around the glass petal and her unease faded. A smile twitched her lips and she felt comforted, self-assured. Hadn't she already discovered and dealt with parts of his past without tainting her view of him? Wasn't she able to look at his unnatural appearance and see what no one else was able; that there was a man just like any other wanting to be accepted? Of course there were a lot of things that she didn't know about him and his past, but the Kenshin she knew now was different. After all, hadn't he stayed his hand from killing those hyena, even after they had attacked her and countless others? Sure he talked tough sometimes, but he didn't seem capable of doing something as horrible as what he had insinuated.

_I'm sure he was only nervous and over-exaggerated the reality of what happened. I know it had to be something bad, or he would not have been cursed to live like this, but… I already know he had to kill people in the war. _Blinking, her smile melted and she tilted her head. _I bet it wasn't even something he did himself. I bet it was his father's fault to begin with. After all, his father started the war, not him._ Pleased she had found a suitable explanation to the agitation still curling through her gut, she took a breath to gather her courage and stepped her way up the stairs.

Politely she knocked against the shoji before sliding it open, her voice calling out a soft greeting to the woman inside. Tomoe's voice graciously accepted her in, and as her eyes adjusted to the minimal light, Kaoru smiled at her figure standing at the base of the tree. It was darker than the last time she had visited, and Kaoru cast a worried frown at the five remaining petals still hanging onto the barren branches. They flickered and glowed, a weak resonance of light that was barely able to stave off the cover of night outside. Against her chest, her own lone petal was brighter than the five combined.

"It is wonderful, as always, to see you, child."

Kaoru jumped minimally as Tomoe's voice sounded just over her shoulder. Jerking slightly away, she blinked and wondered how she had moved so quickly without her noticing, but smiled in reply to her statement. "Yes, I… I was needing to talk to you, Tomoe-dono."

"Oh? Have you and Lord Himura been in another argument?" She seemed amused by the thought, her arm wrapping lightly around her shoulders to lead her closer to the final blossom.

"No." Settling down on one of the cushions she had brought in sometime before while visiting, Kaoru angled herself so that they were facing. "Though he has seemed a bit edgy lately, but I think that's because he's been working too much."

Nodding knowingly, Tomoe agreed with a soft smile. "Running a palace is a demanding job. After ignoring his duties for so long, I'm sure it will take him awhile to get used to the position." Sighing, Kaoru agreed, her head lowering to watch as she played with the necklace. "This is not what you came here to speak with me about, though, young one. Come. Say what is on your mind."

Gnawing on her lip, Kaoru sought out a way to explain. Kenshin had avoided the subject of the curse, but then, so had Tomoe on their first meeting. Though she had begun to visit Tomoe more often and shared much of what was happening outside of her shrine, she still was not aware of everything. There was still a wall that separated her from the outside world and all of the struggles and emotions that came with experiencing everything first hand. Kenshin was always there and so understood all, probably more, of what Kaoru felt about their situation. Little persuasion had been needed to coerce him into talking. Some would be needed for Tomoe.

"Tae and Katsu are doing well."

Deep black eyes considered her for a moment. "I am glad to hear this."

"Tae says it'll take her some time to get used to Katsu's messy habits, but he's trying to be tidier about his work." Tomoe didn't comment, and Kaoru stopped fidgeting long enough to look her in the eye. "Tae almost didn't live to know what it was like to be with him. Because of… the curse and what it has brought and the feelings of doubt and frustration and… longing…" Swallowing, Kaoru looked over at the pink petals next to her on the tree. "She almost killed herself because she didn't think he could love her. Not the way she is now. It is… an awful thing that has been done to them."

"You wish to know of the curse."

Chin level and steady, Kaoru met her gaze. "Yes."

"Just like when you took the petal, Kaoru-chan, it is not only me this will affect. Lord Himura must be consulted before…"

"I asked him today. He gave me permission to ask you."

"Did he?" The weight in her black eyes was heavy, and Kaoru wavered under her assessing stare. "But he told you nothing of it himself?"

"No… well, he said it was his fault, but he did not want to tell me why."

Something dark flickered through her irises, and Tomoe's answer was slow. "And why, do you think, that is?"

Biting her lip again, Kaoru picked at her kimono. "He seemed afraid of how I would react."

An ugly emotion contorted the woman's face, and Kaoru cringed back in confusion. It was strange to see any other appearance except one of serenity touch her beautiful features. "He has the audacity to appear reluctant now when not one moment of hesitance crossed his mind while in the midst of such atrocities? I was wrong in thinking he had changed!" The words were spit from her red lips, her body trembling. "He has simply changed tactics; become more shrewd." An overhead board popped, and the entire structure groaned. "I cannot believe I have become so complacent!" Sharp, craggily branches began whipping about in an unfelt wind, scratching against the outer walls and banging on the roof in a rage. "To think I had begun to regret my actions!" A whirlwind of pink dust picked up from the base of the tree, the tiny glass particles flying through the air with tornado-like force. "To think I actually felt sorrow!"

Trying to protect herself from the fury building inside the shrine, Kaoru pressed herself against a wall, her arms coming up to cover her face. A vision of the other woman burned itself into her mind as she caught glimpses of her around the buffeting sleeves of her kimono. Long hair rising up around her. A smooth brow wrinkled and creased as she scowled. Her lips biting at each of the words she spoke over the chaos of sound. But it was her eyes that frightened her, their soothing dark depths no longer cool, but hot. Sparks of energy and power echoed within their texture, boiling out of the confines of her iris until nothing but darkness covered the entire width of her eye. It was eerie. It was terrifying. It explained much.

A jagged tree limb snapped out and bit into her cheek, ripping the soft silk on the shielding arm of her kimono and dying it with her red blood. Crying out involuntarily, Kaoru ducked lower, her hand cupping around the wound to stop the bleeding. All at once the noise stopped, and she was showered by thousands of tiny pink particles, their pebbling on the wooden walk like the tinkling of miniature bells. A gentle hand descended on her head, and with her eyes clenched shut her thoughts eagerly jumped for Kenshin. He would save her. He would protect her.

"I am so sorry, Kaoru-chan. My anger has hurt you." Twitching, Kaoru realized the hand did not belong to the lord, but to this woman. This woman with her kind façade and burning nature. "Do not be afraid, child. I will make this right." Lightly the fingers of her other hand probed her cheek, and at first it hurt, burned, stung, and then it soothed and the pain eased away. The same treatment was then administered to her arm. Lifting her head and cracking open her eyes, Kaoru watched the blood retract into the cut, the skin seam itself back together, and then her kimono become whole. Seconds later, it was as if the damage had never been done.

Eyes pulled wide, she looked up at Tomoe, her muscles still shivering uncertainly. "It was you."

Sighing, Tomoe touched a finger and thumb to Kaoru's chin. "Are you still in any pain?" Tilting her face to one side, she studied the unmarked skin that was moments ago torn and bloody. "I did not mean for you to be hurt. I used to have much better control than this, but… hatred has destroyed that restraint, and I have become a victim of my own wrath."

A sadness so deep Kaoru couldn't fully comprehend was staring back at her through the eyes of this sorceress. It was the look of someone who had lost much, and had never fully recovered from that loss. "I-it's alright. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"No, young one. It is not alright."

Mouth opening to say something more, Kaoru was distracted by movement out of the corner of her eye. Blinking and sparking, one of the petals was fighting for its survival, flickering like a stub of candle nearing its end. Darkness was winning the fight over light, and soon its glow died. Sad and forlorn it detached itself from the others and fell to the ground, the sound of its shattering almost musical. The scene was just as tragic as Tomoe intimated.

Suddenly Tomoe was standing next it, her hands carefully touching the now four remaining petals. "His time has become less." Kaoru was surprised by the triumph in her voice.

Sitting up slowly, Kaoru studied warily the smile that was tugging at Tomoe's lips. "What has made you hate him so?"

The sorceress' head jerked, her irises a brief flash in the dimmer illumination. "You ask such a question in confusion, as if you cannot comprehend why anyone would feel such a way towards your sweet little lordling. Even if I were to tell you, you would not understand. Not without knowing who he was. Not without knowing everything."

"Then… you knew Kenshin well?" A brief twinge of jealousy accompanied the thought, curling her brow, but she ignored the alien sensation.

"No. I never met him before the day I placed the curse, but I heard rumors. Everyone knew about the youngest son of Lord Izo. Everyone knew of the Battousai."

"Battousai?"

"A fearsome title given to your little lord after he had murdered a few hundred people."

Something heavy pushed against her chest, forcing a gasp from her mouth. "Kenshin fought in the war… his father made him…" Trying to justify, she grasped at an earlier explanation.

"A war Lord Izo started, yes, but I am not talking about those he killed on the battlefield. I am speaking of innocents: farmers; bakers; blacksmiths." Merciless, Tomoe stepped closer to the walk, her eyes locked with disbelieving blue. "Women. Children. Entire villages, slaughtered and burnt to the ground, all by one man. Just one. I remember watching, praying I would not see the night sky lit with red from the fires. Most nights… it was."

Breathing heavily, Kaoru backed away, as if putting distance between them would lessen the truth of her words. Kenshin could not have done these things. He would never hurt an innocent. Never hurt a child. _Are you sure?_ The words were a doubtful whisper in the back of her mind, feeding her apprehension. _Just how well do you know him, really?_

"W-why?" Back hitting the outer wall, Kaoru drew her knees up into her chest. "Why would he… do such a thing?"

"To gain land. Killing people unfit for war is much easier than battling an army." Matter-of-fact, her face contorted again. "That bastard was not an honorable lord. After the deaths of his oldest two sons, he began using guerilla tactics to win his fights. A smart move, actually, but a disgusting decision when aimed upon those that were not fighting. It was rumored he used his youngest son at first for assassinations. But that started to draw the attention of the emperor, so he turned him towards slaughter instead. I think he was hoping to gain control of the entire coastline before the emperor sent his army to stop him. With the mountains a natural barricade between him and the imperial army, it would have been much easier to defend."

"So Kenshin was… he was only following his father's orders…" A part of her still wanted to defend him, still wanted to deny. Not that following orders would ever justify what had been done.

"Orders he could have disobeyed." Hissing, Tomoe stood straight and the dust particles once again began to dance. "He followed those orders, blindly, without any show of hesitance. Not once did he try to save anyone. Not once did he let a survivor go. He killed them all, and burnt their corpses. Those are not the actions of a warrior. They are the actions of a beast. A beast that crippled the lives of many with his sword. Just the same as he crippled mine."

Feeling as though she had been crushed already, Kaoru ducked into herself, the information too much at one time to process. "Then he… he killed people you knew?"

"People I knew?" A short, humorless laugh ripped from the sorceress' throat, the noise painful enough to make Kaoru cringe. "He murdered _everyone_ that I knew! Everyone that I loved!"

"Then your village was… in the way as well?" Something sickly was churning in her stomach, but she spoke around the bile, trying to keep up with the conversation. Some lost part of her wondered why she still wanted to know.

"No." The heat went out of her voice and she sagged, the pink particles stopping to drift motionless in the air. "My village was on the other side of the mountains. A beautiful place called Chisaki, named for its many cherry trees and their thousands of blossoms." One slim hand lifted, running her touch lightly along a barren branch. "It was there that I was born, and it was there that I was married." A painful smile graced her features, and her hand shook before she withdrew it from the tree. "My sweet Akira. I loved him with all my heart, ever since we were children playing in the gardens. He was all I wanted for myself. All I desired to keep."

Dropping her head, her eyes closed, and she swallowed back a tight ball of emotion. "Lord Izo miscalculated the cunning of our emperor. It was not an army he planned to send, but an assassin. The emperor knew that to meet him in combat would only prolong the battle and draw out the suffering that was already plaguing his lands, and so he made a deal with Lord Shishio. If Lord Izo and his sons were to be killed, he would inherit the lands, even the rule of those that Lord Izo had forcefully obtained. As long as he pledged his undying loyalty to the emperor and promised to not follow in his father-in-law's footsteps. Lord Shishio agreed, and two of his children were sent to foster at the imperial court as a sign of good faith.

"All of this I was informed of in a letter delivered by three emissaries bearing the official seal of the emperor. They had come to me, carrying a request to end the suffering." Black eyes opened, meeting Kaoru's squarely. "I was to take the life of Lord Himura Izo and his two sons, Himura Isamu and Himura Kenshin." Slowly her gaze lowered once more and she leaned back into the trunk of the tree. "I had never used my magic in such a way before. I sought only to bring happiness to people, to help those that needed it, and to create beauty. I knew there were darker ways to manipulate the energy flowing through my being, but it never tempted me. It appalled me. It frightened me."

Kaoru still sat hunched into the wall, her face pressed into her knees, her arms wrapped around herself. All she could do was listen, all she could do was hear. A part of her felt sorrow for this woman and the tale she was telling. The other part of her was too shocked by this picture of violence being painting within her mind to react.

"I could not refuse a direct order from the emperor, even though his riders assured me that my refusal would bring me no punishment if I were to give it. I knew, though, that the only reason I was being given a choice was because of my condition. At nearly nine months pregnant, I could barely navigate my own house, let alone the woods and mountains. I knew my actions would save many if I were to agree, but I feared I would be incapable of taking even one life, let alone three. So I asked for time to think on it. Just enough time to birth my child and recover. My request was accepted and they left. In one month's time I would hear from them again.

"Lord Izo must have received news of the request, because we soon heard rumors of the Battousai targeting our village next. I had just given birth to my child not three days before and was too weak to confront him if he did come. So…" Her voice broke, capturing Kaoru's tortured sapphire eyes. "Akira decided to go out and meet him first, along with the rest of the men. I begged him not to go, but he was determined to protect me. To protect his family… his new baby girl.

"In one weeks time we heard nothing, and I became anxious in his absence. I left my baby in the care of a woman I trusted, a true friend, Hisano, and made everyone promise to pack up and leave. And then I followed in my husband's footsteps, and what I found was a massacre." Kaoru whimpered, but Tomoe ignored her, her eyes staring blankly through her surroundings and seeing another place and time only she now knew of. "There was no mercy in him. I could tell by the way he had killed them, by the feelings still in the air and the smell of fear and confusion. Akira was barely recognizable, his body almost mutilated as if…" A tear slipped out of her eye. "as if he had angered him. It was the blood on his sword. The Battousai's blood. Akira had wounded him. Marked him… so that I could recognize him when I found him.

"But he was ahead of me now, heading towards the village, and I was still so weak. I prayed I would catch him. I prayed the others had left. It was barely evening when I saw the glow, and at first my thoughts were the same as always. Another village had been attacked. More lives had been sacrificed. More senseless slaughter and brutality. And then it hit me. This time it was my village. This time it was my home, my people, my family, my… baby. I tried to run faster, but my legs were already weak. By the time I got there it was well into the night, but the fires lit it all. Everyone was dead…everyone…" A low sob bubbled up the back of her throat and she slid down the trunk to sit at its base in a pile of silk and cherry dust. "I tried to put out the fires, but it was futile. My body wasn't strong enough to handle the magic, and all I could do was watch. Watch as my home burnt to the ground and struggle with the misery of knowing it was my fault. Because of me they all had to die. Because I am what I am, my beautiful home was attacked."

Face buried in her knees, Kaoru could hold back her own tears no longer, her ears too open to the words being spoken and her heart too sensitive to the emotions felt over a thousand years ago.

"It rained in the morning, and the roaring fires began to sizzle and smoke. In an incomprehensive daze I wandered the streets, looking for someone I knew, knowing they were all dead, but hoping someone had survived. That they had protected my baby." Trembling, Tomoe's hands covered her face. "It was such a selfish thought, but I could not stop it. I wanted my baby to live, even at the cost of another, I wanted my little girl to be alive, to halt the grief that was consuming my world. But nothing was recognizable, all the buildings had collapsed, and with only a few bodies in the streets, I knew he had killed them all inside and set the fires over them. At first I entertained the idea that they had gotten away, but then I found Hisano. She had been drug out into the middle of the square and beheaded. They were still there when he attacked, and… and he… the Battousai never left survivors."

Silence fell. A mournful quiet paid in memory of those lives Tomoe knew, Kaoru's hushed breaths a tribute to the grief felt at their passing. Black eyes watched numbly as the girl cried, but could feel no regret that her words of truth were destroying this young one's world of innocence. A dark part of her felt a touch of victory. Lord Himura had feelings for this girl. What a perfect form of revenge to steal that chance away from him. Bitter, her lip curled. No, it was not enough. Those feelings were nowhere close to what she had felt. He didn't love her yet.

Then sapphire irises lifted and looked straight into hers and the darkness that still sought revenge recoiled, fighting to find a way to escape the intensity of her gaze. The numbness lifted and everything came crashing back down upon her, laboring the breath in her lungs. Brightness, like high noon, lit the interior of the shrine, and for a brief moment Tomoe was caught in awe of the petal hanging from her delicate silver chain. Each one of those petals was full of her magic, full of life, and as the years passed the magic diminished. This one, however, seemed to be growing stronger, gaining a life of its own, and its power was purifying.

A heartbeat later and the light was gone, leaving only the ordinary glow from before. Blinking to readjust to the darkness, Tomoe felt staggered and jumped when Kaoru's watery voice spoke.

"What…" She swallowed, tears still choking her throat. "what was your baby's name?"

Surprised by the question and still offset by the vision she had seen, Tomoe looked away. "Kana. Her name was Kana."

"Kana. A… powerful name."

"We wanted our daughter to be strong in all things. Kana seemed an appropriate name for the strength of magic she would possess."

Nodding her understanding, Kaoru sat up, sniffing as she wiped her face. The story was coming together, but it was still unfinished. Taking a few breaths to calm herself, she ran her thumb softly over her necklace. "What happened then?"

Remembrance washed back over Tomoe's faltering thoughts and her voice hardened once more. "I let rage control my being… and used my magic in that way I never had before. I leveled Lord Izo's army. I left not one of them alive, and then I killed him and his heir and made his youngest son watch as I did it." Kaoru flinched, horrified, but did not look away as the sorceress continued to speak. "The Battousai did not even react, did not even seem to care. In fact, he barely tried to stop me, and when I looked into his eyes and told him of the pain he had caused me, of the death I wished to give in return, those golden irises were as empty as the dead eyes of his father and brother. He truly was a beast, a _demon_. He cared for nothing, feared nothing, and knew there was nothing I could do that would hurt him. He had already been consumed by a monster. So I decided death was too easy for him. I would keep him alive, for all of eternity, and force him to live in the true form of his heart so that he may learn the suffering I had to endure."

"True form? Then that is what his… heart looks like?"

Tomoe considered her seriously, her head a short nod. "Yes."

"And… the others?"

For the first time Tomoe look suitably ashamed of her actions and hung her head with a sigh. "I gave them all a choice, and tried to justify what I did to them with it. No one who did not wish to follow Lord Himura was made to stay, but at the time, in my thoughts, I saw them to be just as guilty as their masters. I was still stricken with grief and not truly in my right mind, and I thought none of my actions through to completion. Never a good thing when you are dealing with magic. Especially powerful magic, such as curses. For example, I did not count on the sacrifice I myself would have to make to see my revenge through to the end. All I saw was a way to punish this man for what he had done to so many people, and I rashly paid the price. My body became this tree." Gesturing slowly, she touched the trunk. "My powers became the petals, and my spirit has been bound to it ever since. Not until the day the petals all fall, the magic completely fades, and the tree finally dies will I be released. Not until that day will I be allowed to see my Akira and my Kana again."

"So really… you cursed yourself as well."

"It is my own punishment, Kaoru-chan, for bringing such misery to the innocents of this palace. I have come to accept it, and at the same time… think it not to be enough." Kaoru frowned, and Tomoe came closer to sit on the lip of the walkway, her hand reaching for hers. The anger had all but left her dark eyes, but her words were still an echo within Kaoru's mind and she could not help but uneasily shift away. A sad smile crossed her features and she withdrew her hand. "Soon I will be free to pass on, but my curse will still be here, hurting those that had nothing to do with the history Lord Himura and I share. Unfortunately, the requirements I set to break the curse can only be broken by the lord himself, and he has already shown he is incapable of meeting them. I wish I could retract the curse and let them free, but my power is no longer strong enough to do so, even the very next minute after the curse was set into motion."

Swallowing, Kaoru thought of the reason she had come in the first place, the words she had spoken to Kenshin. Emotions too tangled and confused, she immediately shied away from thoughts of him, feeling pain in her heart for the new knowledge she had been given. Instead she focused on Tae and Katsu, on Yahiko, Sano, Misao and all the rest. They deserved to be set free, even if… she wasn't sure how she felt about Kenshin anymore.

"I want to help."

Tomoe's smile became genuine. "I know you do, young one. Why else would you wish to know of the curse?" Studying her, Tomoe finally felt the sorrow she had not felt earlier. Kaoru truly was not meant to know, see, or experience such violence, her heart was much too sensitive to deal with it. She was trying to be strong, trying to put others before herself, but she was in too much turmoil to be of any use. _And if she is to learn now what is needed to be done, it will make it all the harder for her to accomplish. _Coming to a decision, Tomoe stood on the walk and offered a hand to help the girl up. "Not tonight, Kaoru-chan. You must give yourself time to absorb what you have learned before coming to any type of decision."

"But, I'm fine, really." It was a lie, and in her heart, Kaoru could feel it, but another part of her didn't want to have time to think on what she had been told. Because then she would have to face a truth she did not want to. That Kenshin was not the man she had believed him to be.

"Trust me, little girl. You will be of no help to anyone without coming to a full understanding of what it is you feel and want first."

"But there isn't time for that!" Desperate, Kaoru froze, arguing with the sorceress even as she was trying to herd her out the door. "There's barely any petals left. I don't have time to be worrying about myself when there are others that need my help."

Brows twitching, Tomoe's hand brushed over Kaoru's hair, her lips fighting between sorrow and happiness. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-chan, but you cannot help them without doing this first." Pushing her through the door, Tomoe spoke a soft goodnight and then the door was closing between them.

Standing, alone and cold on the top step, Kaoru shivered and crossed her arms before warily averting her eyes away from the door. It was dark without a moon to light the heavens, and the palace suddenly felt uninviting. A thrill of anxiety stood the hairs straight up on the back of her neck and no matter how hard she clutched at her necklace, none of the warmth from before flooded her being. It felt like the shadows had eyes. It felt like someone was following her. Hunching her shoulders, she quickened her step to cross the yard and jumped up on the veranda.

Everything that had been said to her came back at once, forcing her to reevaluate everything that she knew. Too many certainties were no longer certain, too many beliefs contradicted by knowledge, and the wicked seed of doubt was growing within her stomach. She didn't want to believe anything she had been told was true, but Kenshin's own hesitance in telling her confirmed the ugly reality. Why else would he not tell her himself? Because he knew if she were to find out then he could not longer make her believe that he was a man, or even a tamed beast. No, because she would know that he was as monstrous as the form he now lived in.

Breathing heavy from her run, Kaoru stopped at the tsumado that would lead her into her pavilion, gasping as her eyes turned towards the master's quarters. There was a light still flickering from the inside, a shadow still pacing along the walls. Feeling the tears push at the backs of her eyes, she clenched them shut and fought back the urge that suddenly overwhelmed her. To go to him and beg him to tell her it was all a lie, that it wasn't true, so that she could live on in her ignorant, peaceful world where they were friends and it didn't even matter why or how he looked the way he did. She didn't want to have this knowledge. She didn't want to look at him and see everyone he had killed. Didn't want to imagine him… taking the life of a child.

Horrified by the turn of her own thoughts, Kaoru pushed through the doors and hid inside, like a child hiding in the closet to escape the world. Nothing would keep out the images, though. Nothing stopped the sorceress' words or the natural reaction of empathy they caused. All too realistically she could see what had happened, and not just to Tomoe, but to others. To all those villages. To all the men he had assassinated. To all the soldiers he had fought. Only, she was unable to imagine that look of emptiness in his eyes, and instead saw not Kenshin as a heartless beast, slaughtering people without emotion or thought, but Kenshin as a creature bathed in red, with wings and horns and eyes that asked for trust and betrayed it just as quickly.

All night she was plagued by nightmares, seeing a time of cruelty with such clarity it felt as if she had truly lived there and experienced it. By the time Misao came to inform her of breakfast, she was already wide awake, helpless to the mess of tears on her cheeks, and the haunting in her sapphire eyes.

"My lady! What has happened?" Shocked and concerned, Misao hurried across the floor, dodging the rumpled futon and the strew of blankets strung about around it.

Jumping at the weasel's voice, Kaoru whimpered and pushed herself further in the corner she was wedged into, exhaustion and fear clouding her thoughts and actions until she was only a shadow of herself. "M-Misao?" Stammering, her breath tried to relax at the familiar face, the present finally asserting itself and removing her from her place of torment.

"Yes, my lady, it's me."

"I…" Clutching the blankets tighter to her, Kaoru ducked her head, slowly wiping her face on its soft material. "I'm fine." Swallowing, she shook her head. "No. No, I'm not fine." Two more tears escaped her already wet-spiked lashes. "I had the most terrible nightmare, Misao-san. It was so awful." Burying her face into the covers, she sobbed.

"Don't cry milady… everything's fine now. It was just a dream." A choked wail disagreed with her and Misao frowned, unsure. _Lord Kenshin really needs to be here for this. I'm sure he could comfort her._ "Do you… wish for me to get you anything, or… anyone? Lord Kenshin will be waiting for you at the table, but he would come right away if you asked."

Shaking her head violently, Kaoru's breathing became once more irregular. "No, I don't wish to see him. Please… I don't feel like going to breakfast today, Misao. Will you let him know not to wait on me?"

More worried than ever, Misao nodded reluctantly. "Of course, milady. Do you wish for your breakfast to be brought here instead?"

Bile rose up the back of Kaoru's throat at the thought and she forcefully swallowed it back down. "No. I don't think I could eat anything right now."

"Alright, but at least… at least lie back down on the futon, Lady Kaoru. I'll fetch Megumi-sensei after I talk with the lord." Gone before Kaoru could protest, she whimpered again at the sudden emptiness of her room, and pulled the blanket completely up over her head.

Kenshin sat at the table, his chin resting on his thumbs, his interlaced fingers pressed into his mouth. The change had happened, he could feel it in the air, could read the signs, and it upset his stomach. Closing his eyes, he ignored the cook and her aides as they sat out the dishes before him and the empty spot where Kaoru usually sat. She wasn't there yet, but a desperate voice in his head was trying to reassure him that she had simply slept in.

Golden eyes opening as they left, he stared at her cushion, trying to imagine what her face would show him when she arrived. Terror was all he could picture, his fear of her reaction so potent it overrode her normal appearance in his thoughts. He couldn't even remember how exactly she looked at him, not with his mind so frantic, and a panicked part of him wanted to burn the memory in his brain for fear of never seeing it again.

A more optimistic piece of his personality dwelt on how accepting and sympathetic she was. Had she not told him she believed in second chances? Did she not comfort him after learning how he had murdered Tenshi? Was she not the only person to make him laugh since he was a child?

"My lord?" Turning, Kenshin blinked at the weasel, Kaoru's personal maid, and the confidence he was slowly building sunk into apprehension.

"What is it?"

"The lady wanted to let you know she would not be coming to breakfast and to please eat without her."

So used to feigning serenity in front of his servants after the many days of recent practice, Kenshin simply took in the information and nodded. "Is my lady not feeling well?"

"Apparently she had a horrible nightmare, milord. She looked extremely upset and is refusing to eat."

Nodding again, he looked away. "Have you sent for the physician?"

"I was going there now, milord."

"Very well. Thank you, Misao-san." The weasel nodded and left and Kenshin was once again alone.

The trembling started somewhere in the upper part of his stomach, and by the time it reached his throat, his hands had fisted, his eyes had clenched shut and he felt as if he would vomit. The pain was no longer new, not after Kaoru's influence and presence had awoken his emotions to the world. This time, however, it was just harsh enough to pull a low sound of agony from his parted lips. Pressing his forehead into the hard wood of the table, he fought against his lungs, trying to breathe. The change was too much for him to handle, too much for her to handle. Nothing would be the same again. But who could blame her? He was a monster.

And now she knew it.

Crying out in anguish his hands jerked up to flip the heavy table. Porcelain dishes and delicate teacups shattered on the floor, carefully prepared food smashed under their weight and spread away from them to the wall. On his feet, still unstable and far from calm, he turned away when Tae entered, her shock evident and immediate.

"My lord! Is everything alright?" She took a couple steps forward and then stopped, eyeing the mess. "Are you alright, my lord?"

The genuine concern in her voice undid him, and he hung his head. "I apologize for the dishes, Tae-san, and for… wasting your food. Please…" A large lump cut off his vocal cords and he paused for a breath. "Please have this cleaned up before the lady leaves her rooms. It is not something she needs to hear of."

"I understand."

"Thank you." Briefly he wondered if she would ever come out of her rooms again.

X

A/N: Chisaki means 'a thousand blossoms.' Kana is a neutral name for either a boy or girl (like Kaoru) and is actually the 'name of a demi-god,' I guess. Hisano means 'from a long story,' and it's my own way of poking fun at how drawn out Tomoe's back story was turning out to be.

So, first things first… I absolutely HATED writing this chapter! I didn't even realize how horrible it was going to be until I started writing it, and the more I wrote the less I liked and I thought, well for crying out loud! I don't want to do a curse anymore! I just want them to be all lovey and hugging on each other and stuff! But that would really cancel out the entire storyline and I guess I can't do that without killing it completely.

I sat around and thought about how bad I really wanted to make Kenshin be during his 'monster years' and I tried not to go too awful, but it had to be bad enough to make sure Kaoru second-guessed him for awhile. I know Kaoru would never really do this to Kenshin in the original story, but this is my story and I'll do what I want. Besides, I have reasons, and I didn't really see anyone just shrugging their shoulders and going, 'Well, that was a thousand years ago, so it doesn't matter anymore that he slaughtered a whole bunch of women and children just because his dad was a psycho and wanted to use him like some kind of attack dog.' She needs to make some kind of peace with the knowledge, and that will take some time. Time she doesn't seem to have! (Ok, that was my evil half getting out again. I'm trying to beat her back into her cage, but sometimes… she's stronger than me.)

Well, please leave a review, and I'm sorry the romance isn't going to be all fluff and sugar, but reality isn't so sweet. It's not going to be all angst either, so don't worry! I like the fluff and sugar!


	27. Rain

Alright, on the count of three, everyone group hug Kenshin. One… Two… Three… (glomp) lol.

Disclaimer: Even if I did, it's not like I could take it with me.

**Chapter 27: Rain**

The soft, pattering sound of rain beat a continuous rhythm against the roof of Kaoru's pavilion as she lay awake on her back. It was morning, but the dreary clouds of spring were covering the sun's rays, transforming the contrast of day into one monotone color of dim, gray light. It had been the same all week, nothing but darkening or lightening hues of ash to mark the progress of time. The gloominess agreed with her mood, and she found it to be more appropriate than cheery sunbeams. Though no amount of sunshine would have improved her disposition.

The images had not left her alone. They haunted her, and she cursed her overactive imagination as it conjured up realistic scenarios for the mock-Kenshin in her mind to destroy. It was worse when she slept, and she had spent a few nights trying to keep herself awake and distracted. Most times it merely intensified the nightmare, dragging it out even as she jerked into consciousness, the flickering flame of her candle tingeing the ceiling in shades of red and tricking her mind into believing the fires he set to blaze were surrounding her.

Sometimes the faces of victims were random, other times they were so specific it hurt. More than once her own face stared back at her: her father; her mother. Some dreams felt so real she could not talk herself into believing they were mere fantasy, others were so eerie and confusing she wasn't sure of their meaning. Lately a reoccurring figure had started to show up in interruption of her nightmares. A lady, in a full court kimono wearing a veil over her face would appear randomly beside her. She never spoke, but she always offered comfort, either in the form of a hug, or her soft, delicate hand holding on to the roughness of her own.

At first the nightmares had been so forceful Megumi had prescribed something to help her sleep. After only three days, however, she feared Kaoru would soon become dependant on it and so forbid her from taking any more. No one knew what had happened to the lady to make her act as she was, or how long it would last, or if it was something that would end at all. As a doctor, however, Megumi knew that to truly find peace at night she needed to make peace with what was haunting her.

It was after this declaration that Kaoru began to see the lady, and her nights were allowed some form of rest. Order began to return to her thoughts, and she was finally able to understand and accept the truth of Megumi's advice. For a little over a week she had locked herself up in her pavilion, ignoring the outside world and allowing her imaginings to become too real and unhealthy. She needed air, she needed room, and most of all… she needed to see Kenshin. Whatever way her life was going to lead her, it could go nowhere until she accepted what she felt about the curse and why it had been brought about. Which meant she had to find out just exactly how she now felt about the lord of the palace.

Letting out a slow breath, Kaoru closed her eyes and tried to steady herself in that way her father had taught her. Discipline was a large part of her life, and she had conveniently forgotten all about it for the past week. She was happy to have even a portion of it back. Sitting up, she tossed back her covers and stood to make herself ready. Breakfast would come first, and then she really needed a bath. Hopefully the bath would be soothing, because today she was planning on dining at the table. Something she had avoided since learning of the past.

Halfway through dressing Misao poked her nose in, a habit she had developed over the last few days to check on Kaoru's condition. Seeing that she was up and putting on her kimono, she blinked and hopped up into the room.

"Do you not plan on eating in your room today, milady?" Not daring to be hopeful, Misao asked the question tentatively. It saddened her to see her kind mistress so distressed and out of sorts, and the entire palace was feeling the effects of her indisposition. If she was going to leave her pavilion… perhaps the rain might truly stop. _Perhaps the young lord might acknowledge that there is something wrong._

"Actually…" Taking a deep breath, she tried out a smile. "I thought I might dine at the table, today."

"Really?" In disbelief, Misao stood on her hind legs.

"Well," Tightening her obi with a determined yank, Kaoru smoothed out the silk of her dress and turned. "I can't just stay in here forever, now can I? Besides, I would like to take a bath, as well. Can you see that the water is ready for me after I eat, Misao-san?"

"Of course, milady! I will see to it right away!"

The weasel disappeared, leaving her alone to brush and fix her hair. A quick twist and knot pulled all of the strands up off the back of her neck, a different style than her usual ponytail. It better hid the fact that her hair was in desperate need of washing.

It took her only a few minutes to talk herself out of her pavilion, and even less time to make it to the dining hall. Standing before the door, she was once again plagued by doubts and fears, afraid of her own reactions when the door was finally opened and she was confronted by the man who was troubling her thoughts. As the shoji slid aside, however, her resolve firm enough to meet his gaze, she was instead faced with an empty room and an emptier table.

Instant disappointment blossomed in her chest, leaving her in greater turmoil as her emotions contradicted everything she had experienced within the last eight days. She still wanted to see the man that she knew, still wanted to share the friendship they had fostered. Was he not still the same person? Was it not only she who had changed? Perhaps that was true, but he had changed in her eyes. He was doing nothing different, she was simply seeing more, and it was not an easy truth to accept.

Settling down on her cushion, she balled her hands into her lap, her eyes continuously drawn to and away from the lonely cushion at the head of the table. What if he didn't come to breakfast? Relief mixed with her disappointment, her mind hoping to avoid the inevitable. But would she miss him? Frowning, she toyed with her obi. _I think I already do._

The shoji behind her opened, startling her, and she turned, sighing as Tae and Suzume walked in with her tray of food.

"Good-morning, my lady." Cheerful, relieved, excited; it was easy to read their feelings, and Kaoru smiled softly back. It was awful of her not to think of how her actions would hurt those around her, especially since she knew none of them had a clue as to what was going on. It was part of the reason she was forcing herself to try.

"Good-morning." Chewing her lip, she fought with her voice to speak, to question, and to learn. Where was Kenshin? Was he going to be there soon?

"I'm glad to see you are eating at the table this morning." Carefully placing her dishes, Tae smiled up at Kaoru. Catching and correctly interpreting the furtive dart of her blue irises, Tae's smile lessened. "The young lord has taken to eating his meals in his office of late, but do not worry, I have sent Ayame to inform him you are here."

"T-thank you."

The wait was nearly unbearable. By the time the lord's own food was set out and she was left alone in the room, she felt just as jittery as when she first stood outside trying to come in. The promise of his presence seem almost threatening, hurtling her back over the knowledge of his monstrous deeds. Just the thought of taking one life sickened her. How could she look at a man that had taken so many that were innocent?

The gentle scrape of wood on wood jerked her irises up and to the door, watching as it slowly, torturously slid aside. Though her nerves were stretched and her muscles taut, she told herself to look, to see, and to experience whatever ran first through her mind at the sight of him. Surely then she would have her answer. Then everything could progress. Determined, trying to be steady, she kept her resolve as his wing came into view, then his shoulder, but at the hinting curve of his jaw she lost her nerve and looked away. She was frightened. She didn't want to know.

Staring down at the table, she listened, waiting for him to step forward. It was several seconds before he did, but she was still too unsettled to look and find a reason why. When he knelt on his cushion, she closed her eyes, desperate not to see.

"Good-morning." Softly, delicately, he greeted her. Nearly inaudible, she answered. His intake of breath was loud in the silence. "I am glad to see you have left your rooms. …I hope that means… you have been sleeping easier."

Biting down hard on her trembling lip, Kaoru tilted her head slightly away. "No."

"Oh." His response was bland, untainted by any emotion, and Kaoru's brow furrowed, her eyes blinking open. Not even the kind and gentle voice of his questioning was present. "I am truly sorry to hear that, my lady."

This hurt, too, she realized. Hearing nothing from him. It made it feel like he did not even care that she knew, that she was struggling. A part of her wanted him to plead with her, to ask forgiveness, to _show_ he was sorry. It would give her the excuse she wanted, she needed, to believe he was never as ugly as Tomoe painted him to be. Seeing how thoroughly he could cut himself off only solidified what she had been told.

He had already started eating, but Kaoru found she was not hungry. Staring at the meal, trying not to watch the way his hands skillfully moved in her peripheral vision, nor see how they would, with equal aptitude, wield a blade, she sighed. This was not working. Kaoru had been hoping to achieve something this morning by leaving her futon and facing the world. Nothing had been accomplished, because she was too much of a coward.

Abruptly his left hand reached forward and she couldn't help but jump. He paused, and she could feel the weight of his gaze upon her, but it soon lifted and his hand wrapped around the small ceramic teacup in front of him. It was empty. She knew it was because she had forgotten to fill it. It took him a moment to realize this, and she braced herself as he sat it back down on the table. She could refuse to notice and see how he would react, or she could buck up some courage and use it as an excuse to finally look him in the eye.

Even if he could kill the hinting fluctuations in his voice, surely he could not completely hide everything in his eyes. Separate, seeing and hearing could be tricky, but together they could give her some semblance of truth. And even if his eyes were as hollow and empty as his tone, then at least she could banish the deceitful version of Kenshin in her mind and truly see the monster of Tomoe's past. It would be something; a start.

His hand withdrew and she knew he would say nothing. Clenching her fists, she steadied her nerves and sat up straight to reach for the teapot. Again he paused, curious as he watched her, and as she leaned forward the anxiety over his proximity finally kicked in. The teapot rattled in her grip, giving away her fear, and she was all at once attacked by shame and a buried sense of sadness. How awful of her to show him that fear.

Displaced by her trembling, the lid slipped free of the teapot. Alarmed, she reached for it, unthinking of the consequences or how the redirection of her balance would affect the hot tea inside the pot she still held in her other hand. At the same moment he reached for it as well, his quicker reflexes closing around its fragile clay before it could bust on the floor. Startled by the appearance of his hand, she flinched, knocking over his cup and losing the teapot as it slipped from her loose fingers. The sound of it hitting the table upset her further and she yelped, steaming liquid pouring across the surface in all directions.

"Kaoru-dono, are you alright?"

Squeaking in alarm, Kaoru slapped at the hand touching her shoulder and scrambled back, terrified at finding him up and beside her. The cushion was suddenly between them as she found herself clutching at the table and she panicked at discovering that her legs were twisted and trapped by the material of her kimono. Kenshin had not moved, the hand she had rejected frozen in the air, and she stared straight into his golden irises.

They were not empty, and she felt her face crumple even as he pulled away.

Twice his hands flexed, as if undecided, before he bowed his head and stood. "Excuse me, my lady… I need to get back to my duties."

He was gone before she could protest, and as the shoji slid shut on his back, the tears finally came a moment too late. Gasping for breath, she sat all the way up, tears dripping from her chin like the tea onto the floor and the rain off the eaves outside. She wasn't sure if this was the answer she was looking for, but she now knew how seeing him made her feel.

It was horrible, she decided. It was awful and confusing and worse than she had thought. Fear was still present, horror at the deeds he had committed, but to see the way he looked at her, to feel the tangle of emotions it knotted in her chest. Even after learning what he had done… she still cared for him, still felt sympathy for the pain in his eyes.

Agonizing pain. Deep pain. A bottomless well of it that was only rivaled by his sorrow. He was hurting, and she found herself wanting to comfort, wanting to heal.

The tears became thicker. How could she do that? How could she want that? Was it terrible of her to wish for his peace after all the lives he had taken? Did that make her a bad person? Was she hoping for the wrong thing? Had the friendship they created tainted her, blinded her, condemned her so that she was just as evil as his deeds once were? Did that now mean he was still labeled as evil? And if so, was she now sentenced with guilt by association? And if she, even now, wished to stand beside him and banish his misery, was she disrespecting the memory of every innocent life he had stolen?

She wanted to, but should she? Was it the right thing to want? Did he even deserve it?

_I have learned nothing but that my heart is sensitive to everyone's pain._ Burying her face in her arms, she wept harder. _And that I care too deeply for Kenshin to turn my back on him now._

X

Misao dodged the splatters of rain as she sped her way around the verandas towards the northwest and the quarters for the palace guards. It was just after noon, but it was not easy to tell by the dreary amount of light the thick clouds let through. The morning had been long and tense, but it had given her enough time to think and come up with a plan.

The something that was bothering her mistress was no longer as hazy as it had been before. Not now that she had witnessed even briefly the moment her lord had left the breakfast table and missed Kaoru's wretched tears. Whatever was wrong, it had something to do with Kenshin, and no fight they could have ever had would have brought about her nightmares in such a violent way. Somehow, Kaoru had learned something she should not have. Misao didn't know who had told her… but she really wanted to cut their tongue out.

Grumbling, she skidded on a slick spot, her small claws raking across the wood before finding purchase, and she was off again. Those tears had lasted throughout her bath, hidden by the steam inside and the melodic slosh of water as she washed. Afterwards they were gone, but a different kind of disquiet now subdued her pretty eyes, becoming deeper when the young lord did not show up at the table for lunch. Depression was replacing desperation and Misao was only glad that Kaoru had not returned to hiding in her rooms. No… now she wandered the walkways in her pure white kimono with her unfocused eyes and loose hair looking like a specter haunting the palace.

Something needed to be done, because everyone had already decided. The young lord deserved to be happy, and this was not congruent to happiness.

Finally at her destination, breathing heavily and slightly wet despite her best efforts, Misao nosed her way through the shoji and into the guard's personal training hall. It was a riot of noise and disturbance, though no one really seemed to be doing anything. Everyone sat along the edge, cheering on a fight that was getting just a bit heated. Recognizing Yahiko and Yutarou, Misao sighed with a roll of her eyes and stood on her hind legs to look around. Just on the other side of the hall was the man she was looking for. _Well… cat, I guess._ Giggling, she shot across the floor, bounced off one of the large feline's heads, and slid to a stop in front Soujirou.

Laughter echoed around the room, Yutarou's indignant voice shouting after her, and Soujirou merely shook his head. "Misao-kun… you are aware that very few people know of the special training you underwent to become Lady Kinuko's personal maid."

Shrugging her shoulders and grinning, she acted nonchalant. "Yeah, so what?"

"So… you are only embarrassing my pupil by performing stunts like that. To him, you are only a handmaiden."

"Well maybe he'll start learning how to pay attention. Anyway, I need to talk to you in private. Can you spare me a moment?"

"I suppose." Glancing over the ball of fur still hissing and spitting in the middle of the floor, he stood up and snuck out a side door, Misao following quickly behind him. Far enough away for the noise to quiet to a dim murmur, he stopped and turned expectantly. "So, what is this about?"

"I'm going to assume you know about what's been going on with the lady."

A long sigh left his mouth and he looked away. It was a sad look, and Misao was halfway surprised by it. "Yes… I have heard."

"Well, she finally came out of her pavilion today." The cheetah's eyes shot to her, and Misao got a sinking feeling in her gut. Perhaps asking him for help was not going to be the greatest idea. "But something happened at breakfast between her and the master. Now he's avoiding her and she's… well, she's not really worse, but she's not really better either. It got me to thinking, though, and I'm almost certain that whatever has upset her has something to do with the past." Soujirou ducked his head, his tail flicking. "With the master's past."

"How can you be so certain?" Slow and careful, his voice was unreadable.

"The nightmares. A simple fight would have never given her such horrible nightmares." Angry, Misao growled. "I don't know who the hell would have told her, but… she has to know something. It's hurting their relationship. It's hurting the young lord. I saw his face this morning. It was devoid of all emotion." Grinding his teeth, the cheetah sat down and stared at the rain. "You know better than anyone, Soujirou-kun… he only does that when he's trying to hide."

Something twitched on Soujirou's face. "No. He only does that when the pain has become too much."

Misao made a noise somewhere between a whine and a groan, frustrated and concerned. "Then it's worse than I thought!"

"If she truly does know something about his past… and is having nightmares in response to that knowledge… then her rejection must have added to his pain."

"Added? You don't think that's why he is in pain?"

A humorless laugh pushed from his mouth, and he shook his head. "Misao-kun, you were there… do you not think the master is in pain for other reasons?"

"Well, I…" It was her turn to look away. "I did not know the young lord that well back then."

"No. I suppose you did not."

Misao frowned, and stood back up. "Which is exactly why I'm here talking to you. The lady won't speak with me about what is bothering her, and even if she did I wouldn't know the first thing to tell her to make her feel better or help. You've made friends with her. She'll talk to you, and what's better… next to Master Shinta and Lady Kinuko, you have the most knowledge of Lord Kenshin and his past."

"Misao…"

"No, don't even try it. You want to help the lady, don't you?"

"I would love nothing more than to help ease her mind, but…"

Smacking him hard on the nose Misao scowled up at him as he blinked in surprise. "But you want the lady for yourself, is that it? You want her to despise the young lord and turn to you instead? Well that is not how things are done around here. For one thing, she is our mistress, our _lady_. She is not meant for you or anyone else of our station. For another, a woman's heart is not won in such ways. She will choose on her own and in her own time. Do you think Lord Kenshin has played such tricks to win her over? Do you think he's fed her lies about you, or allowed her to think bad thoughts about your past? Of course he hasn't. He respects the lady and her decisions."

Scolded, he glared. "That is not what I was thinking."

"Well you had better keep it in mind anyway, or I will be coming after you with those special skills I was trained in. She is my new lady, after all. I will protect her, just as I protected Lady Kinuko."

Grumbling, Soujirou wrinkled his nose. "So you want me to talk to her."

"Yes." Relieved, Misao relaxed from her offensive stance.

"Fine, but I am only doing this for the lady."

As he stalked away, Misao rolled her eyes. _No you're not, you idiot. Jeez, and he thinks Yahiko and Yutarou are bad._

X

Kaoru shivered and pulled a large overcoat tighter around her shoulders. It was a beautiful piece of clothing, warm and comfortable, and there was just the slightest scent of lilac coming from it. The smell came from some dried flowers she had found in the box it was kept in, and since it used to belong to the lady Kinuko, Kaoru liked the thought of knowing what Kenshin's mother used to smell like. She assumed, though, that Misao had been replacing the flowers, since the dried petals would eventual disintegrate.

With it wrapped around her she felt just a bit calmer, like she did when the lady in her dreams came to offer comfort; like she used to feel when her mother held her after being upset. She didn't know what had given her the idea to go to the lady's pavilion, but after wandering around in a daze, she had found herself standing in the middle of the room, staring around her at the screens. Now she sat outside of the pavilion, staring across the small courtyard that separated the lady's quarters from the master's and watching the sheets of rain as they fell from the heavens.

Kenshin wasn't over there. She knew he wasn't in his rooms because he was in the pavilion just on the other side of her own, which the servants had affectionately dubbed 'the office.' Apparently he had spent all of his time there, working, almost fanatically, on running the palace. He ate his meals there, he only left if there was a pressing issue, and more often than not, he slept there as well. It was no great mystery where to find the man, but then, Kaoru was no longer fooling herself into thinking the man in her present was who she needed to confront and make peace with. The man of Kenshin's past, that was who she couldn't accept. The man he used to be… a man she wasn't so sure he wouldn't be again.

She needed to know more, but she was scared to ask, scared to learn. What if it made the nightmares worse? What if she truly found out something that would make her despise Kenshin? What if it killed all of her compassion for him? He had warned her once already against asking too much, afraid it would taint her opinion of him and her innocent world. That advice was still more than valid. What if he had enjoyed killing? What if he had suggested the idea? What if…

Tomoe's voice drifted through her mind, talking about her best friend, Hisano, and the way she had been murdered. Not just killed, not just cut down and burned, but drug out into the middle of the square and beheaded. Surely a simple woman would never have warranted such an execution style death. And then Akira… with his mutilated body. From what Kaoru could understand, he had given Kenshin the scar on his cheek. Akira's death proved he had a violent temper, his anger raging out of control and killing his restraint all because of a simple wound.

That slim restraint was still present at times. Kaoru had witnessed it herself her first few weeks there. What if there were other parts of his personality still hanging around? What if there was something darker laying dormant within him, waiting to get out?

"My lady?"

Kaoru jumped, wide blue eyes swinging quickly to the owner of the voice as her tense arms pulled the overcoat even closer up around her ears. Instead of seeing the lord, however, she was confronted by questioning, pale blue eyes. "S-Soujirou."

"Yes, my lady, it is just me."

Kaoru sighed, her body relaxing, and she tried to smile. "What are you doing around this side of the palace, Soujirou-kun?"

Padding his way forward, the large cheetah sat down next to her at a polite distance, and inclined his head. "I had heard you were up and about today and thought I would seek you out to see how you were fairing."

"Oh." Unconsciously imitating Kenshin's cool reply, Kaoru looked away. "I am just fine, Soujirou-kun. Just fine." Dropping her gaze from the closed tsumado across the courtyard, Kaoru sighed again, a little despondently.

"If I may be so bold… it seems there is something bothering my lady."

Frowning, Kaoru glanced at him briefly. "That's just one thing I can't get used to around here. Everyone knows everyone else's business."

Chuckling lightly, Soujirou shook his head. "No, my lady, everyone knows the noble's business."

"I am not a noble."

"No, I suppose you aren't, but you have become our lady in more than just name. Where you came from does not matter to us."

"Thanks… I guess."

The rhythmic patter of rain filled the following silence and Kaoru's thoughts wandered off, replaying random conversations and trying to find some semblance of order. With Soujirou's presence, they naturally turned toward him, bringing to mind something Kenshin had said the same day she had asked about the curse.

"You were Kenshin's sparring partner, right, Soujirou-kun?" Instead of the tension she had expected, the cheetah sighed, sounding nearly relieved.

"Yes, my lady, I was."

"So you… knew Kenshin well, back then?"

"Better than most, I suppose."

"Father always says, you cannot fight someone without finding out who they truly are. You fought with Kenshin many times… I… I want you to tell me about him."

"You want the truth then, my lady?"

When Kaoru looked at him in surprise, he looked away, his expression sad.

"Would you tell me a lie?"

A painful laugh huffed from his mouth, and his head tilted up to look at the water running off the eaves. "You are very young and very innocent, my lady. A fact that is no longer true for anyone now living at the palace."

"What are you saying?"

Periwinkle blue irises met the deep tint of sapphire, his eyes serious. "I hated him. From the very first moment I met him, I felt nothing by loathing." Something vulnerable trembled on Kaoru's face, and he could read the pain he was giving to her, but continued, Misao's favor at the forefront of his thoughts. "He was the very reason for my torment, the reason I was not allowed to have a normal childhood or, in fact, life. I was hand picked to be his sparring partner and then trained endlessly to match his skill." His head shook. "But I could never quite match him, he always bested me. It made me angry, and the strength that had been forced upon me became insufficient. I wanted more. But no matter how strong I became, he was always stronger. It was unfair."

The original notion of pain at his story disappeared, her fear of hearing another terrible tale leaving her as she recognized simple boyish rivalry. She was sympathetic to Soujirou, but relieved at the same time. "Do you still hate him?"

The cheetah sighed. "Your father's words are true, in a sense, Lady Kaoru, but it works only when you are open enough to see it, your mind clear enough to accept the truth. For a long time, I was not. It took me several years to see who the object of my bitterness truly was. I hated the spoiled noble boy that acted so superior and cold, but I met swords with a man far more skilled, powerful, dangerous, and…" Almond-shaped eyes closed, almost shamefully. "so unbelievably sad, I have yet to meet his equal, even after all these years. At the same moment I realized this, I understood that he had been robbed just like I of anything normal. So no, Lady Kaoru… I do not hate the master. I owe him too much to feel any hatred."

Thinking of Yahiko and Yutarou, Kaoru smiled. "Because you made each other stronger? By pushing each other to do better?"

"No. It is a much greater debt than that." Watching her carefully, Soujirou stepped into waters he had thought left behind, hoping Misao's theory was correct. "He protected me, and many others, from the disgraceful war of his father, from the old master's brutal commands, and from dishonoring our swords and our souls."

Slowly Kaoru's dark blue irises lifted to him, and the haunting in their depths was too real to be coincidence. She was even now guessing correctly about what he was speaking of, and an aching part of him understood his master's pain and the reason for his distance. For Kaoru to know such a horror was too much of a punishment.

Licking her dry lips, Kaoru tried twice to speak. "Were you… meant to…?"

"My lady, I don't know where you have learned of this shameful deed, but I cannot let you continue to see only the execution. Yes, I will not deny that what was done was horrible, shameful, and unforgivable, but it is not only my master that must carry this burden. It is as much mine, and many other's, as well to bear.

"Master Izo was going to order several of us to attack the villages, and even though we did not wish to, we could not deny our lord unless we were ready to flee or accept punishment. Since fleeing usually ended in death, and punishment was no better, we were given little choice. It was either kill, or die ourselves and let others take our place. Before we were to be sent out, however, we received news that the young lord was going to handle the problem and did not need our assistance. We were spared, and though I am sure Lord Kenshin did not wish for his actions to be seen as merciful to us, or his father would have never allowed it, we all knew the truth. The young lord had taken our place, had sacrificed himself, to save us." A heavy weight seemed to settle onto his shoulders. "We are as guilty as he is, and the next time I saw him and we sparred together, I saw an echo of what I could have become. The sadness in his being had tripled, and was now accompanied by pain, a drowning desperation… and an unbelievable rage."

The vulnerable compassion in her chest trembled and she questioned tentatively. "For his father?"

"Any emotions he had felt towards his father was given up on long before then. No, this was for his own helplessness. It was a feeling I could relate with, was glad I did not fully comprehend, and felt shame that he had to carry it alone."

The emotion blossomed warmly, spreading over her heart and the pink glow of her necklace brightened within the confines of Kinuko's overcoat. "For the villages?"

"Yes, my lady. Because he could not protect everyone. By protecting us, he had condemned them, but by protecting them, he would have condemned us, himself, and many more, and eventually, it would have been for nothing. Unless, that is, he was willing to take on all of the master's army, the master himself, and his brother. Lord Kenshin is a strong man, but everyone has their limits." A relieved smile fought the tense muscles of her face, and Soujirou knew his job was almost done. Ignoring the twinge of jealousy her devotion towards his master jabbed into his ribs, he continued. "What was done can never be righted. It was a shameful, immoral, and sickening deed, and I understand the horror you feel just by knowing of it, my lady. It is a lot to take in, but I wanted you to know this truth of it, as well. To ease your mind… and perhaps calm the master."

In his own way, Soujirou was showing his respect, commitment, and even concern for Kenshin, and Kaoru was suddenly overwhelmed by more emotion than she could correctly identify. Yes there was still a large amount of uncertainty and dismay she had to deal with, but at least she no longer felt conflicted about her sympathy and compassion for the master. He had wished only to protect, like Megumi had told her those long weeks before. The choice went against everything she had ever been taught, and that was something she had to deal with, but it was a relief just knowing he had still possessed a heart, unlike what Tomoe intimated about him at that time. He was not the monster she had painted him into, he had made himself into that monster, to save others and to save himself from the heartache of murder.

With Soujirou's help, she had taken a large step onto a new path, and her heart no longer felt like it was completely shredding into pieces.

Happy for the first time in over a week, Kaoru startled the cheetah by impulsively throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tight. He froze at first, his voice stuttering a denial of her actions, but quickly relaxed when her head shook against his neck. Fur soft under her cheek, she giggled lightly, rubbing her face over the smooth texture like anyone on a velvet surface.

In shock, Soujirou fought the tempting voice that whispered to enjoy her attention while he still had it. This was not decent, in more ways than he could rightly count, but she had said so herself that she was not a noble, and besides… it felt nice. Purring involuntarily, he let his eyes close and listened as she laughed.

"Thank you. I'm so glad you told me this about Kenshin. I really…" Emotion quivered her voice and she held on tighter. "I really needed to know."

A sad twinge tugged his heartstrings, already grieving the loss he was going to experience once again to his master. He never won… he knew this would be no different. Opening miserable eyes, he frowned as she hiccupped, her joy over his words combining with her recent misery. Sighing, he lifted a paw and placed it gently on her back, hoping to offer her comfort as she cried and laughed into his fur.

A flash of movement caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and apprehension sank into his gut like a rock as he turned fully in its direction. Golden eyes were wide in his master's face as he stared across the courtyard, his body already halfway pivoted to turn the corner to enter his pavilion. If he had been showing no emotion earlier that day to Kaoru, all of it was freely shown now. Ears pinning back, Soujirou ducked, but this action only placed more weight on Kaoru's shoulders, giving her the wrong cue and strengthening her hold. For a moment, Soujirou thought his master might hurt him, a dark flickering of jealous rage surely hinted that he wanted to, but within only seconds the warning tension dropped with his lashes and he instead looked defeated.

Never once before in his life had Soujirou seen his master in defeat because of him, and to see it now brought no sense of triumph, but only shame. With everything that he owed to his master, this was no way to properly repay him. Misao was right. Kaoru was their lady, and she was meant for no one else but their lord.

Forgoing his original intent, Kenshin backtracked and disappeared down the veranda before Soujirou could figure out what needed to be done. A resigned part of him realized nothing could be done now. The damaged had already occurred. Sighing, he dropped his paw back to the polished wood, watching as Kaoru leaned back to smile brightly at him, unaware of the new anguish that would soon affect her life. Briefly her blue eyes glanced at the master's quarters, but her attention was much too late.

"Look, Soujirou-kun, the rain's stopping."

Thinking of how wrong that statement was, Soujirou tried to smile back. "So it is, my lady."

X

A/N: Alright, so this one was only slightly better than the last, but at least we are progressing. It was still hard to write, but it got easier at the end. In fact, it was a little too easy, and I'm hoping it didn't feel that way because I lost quality. Anyway, this was so late. I wanted to get it done last weekend, but I got sicker than a dog (ie. Sanosuke after too much sake only without getting to enjoy the alcohol) and only had half of it done. All week has been nothing but rush, rush and I'm about to lose it, but the weekend is almost here, and I plan on relaxing. If anyone calls me up, I'm chewing their ear off before hanging up on them. Grrr.

Well, back to the story. Poor Kenshin still, but he's not exactly doing anything to make it better, either. Misao's finally getting a hand in, Soujirou's learning a life lesson, and Kaoru is struggling with the idea that she has a tight bond with a killer of defenseless villagers. I had to figure out something to make it not quite as horrible as I made it out to be, and since blaming it on his dad really doesn't cut it, and I wanted at the same time to keep him as the main culprit and not someone else, I wanted to keep his protecting instinct intact and this was perfect for that. Obviously he was still young and inexperienced and so dealt with it the only way he could think of, but he was still trying. Also, I wanted to tie in that part about his dad when Tomoe talked about how he didn't react when she killed Izo. Pretty much it was because at that point in time he cared little for his father or his brother for that matter. He had shut down his feelings for them by this point in his life because they didn't really deserve any from him. Also… I've got some more stuff going on in the next chapter, so I'll stop here.

Please leave a review, tell me what you think might happen next. I was trying not to make the last part too contrived, but it serves a purpose. Thanks for all the support. I hope to have another chapter up for you soon. Oh, and we get to see Kaoru's dad again in the next chapter! Yipee!


	28. Father's Instincts

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I'm getting such great praise for this story, and it only encourages me to try harder to make it live up to your standards!

Disclaimer: I'm sure they're glad I don't own them.

**Chapter 28: Father's Instincts**

Rays of sunshine sparkled off the thousands of raindrops still wetting the new buds and rocks, slowly drying the surfaces of soil and foliage. It was muddy in places, where the rain had collected and puddled, but it was to be expected after a week of constant showers. The air smelled fresh, alive, and there was an exciting zing in the atmosphere that spoke of dormant energies reawakening after their winter slumber. Spring was fully upon the palace now, and everything spoke of rebirth.

Frowning, Kenshin glared out over the boundary wall and at the far-reaching glittery ocean, the cheerful vibe of spring dampening his mood. He preferred the rain. He preferred a storm. Anything to counter this sickening exuberance that he was not a part of. Everyone was happy, everyone but him, and he hated them all for it.

"My lord." Eyes closing, Kenshin felt a spike of irritation. The only time of day he was allowed any peace from another's presence anymore was during mealtimes. Those few short hours were all that was keeping him sane. Any interruption set his teeth on edge.

"What is it, Musashino?"

"Uh…" Unnerved by the coldness in his master's voice, the hedgehog shuffled his small legs. "I was informed the lady wishes to dine with you. Today… right now." A low growl rumbled Kenshin's throat and the hedgehog cowered, stuttering over his words.

"I am in no mood to dine with her." Lip curling, Kenshin's frown turned dark.

"I-I'm sorry, my lord, but…" Backing up as Kenshin cast his glowering features towards him, Musashino fought with his own instincts and loyalty to his master's wishes and needing to follow the orders of the lady. "…she said she wouldn't start eating until you arrived…"

Jaw grinding, his growl lowered a notch. "Then you will simply inform her that there is no need to wait. I am _not_ coming."

"I understand, my lord, but… the lady was very insistent." Golden eyes narrowed, sending Musashino scrambling back down the veranda out of a sense of self-preservation. "I'll inform her right away!"

Watching the boy run, Kenshin's irritation boiled in his stomach, his mind trying to keep a hold of those thoughts that fed it life. It had barely been two days since her private rendezvous with the damn cheetah, and the woman was acting as if nothing was or should be wrong. In fact, she was even acting like the discovery of his past was no longer bothering her. Like she no longer cared, or was no longer affected by the knowledge. It hurt, the pain different than he was used to, and no amount of effort on his part let him deal with it in his normal way. He was angry, he was irrational, and though his first reaction had left him feeling defeated, the longer he had to deal with it, the more twisted his insides became.

At least when she was upset he knew that she still cared. That warmth had been tested and stretched too far, however. He could see that clearly now. Choked and bound by her fear, she had turned to another, needing comfort and everything he could not give. The occurrence was inevitable, and he should have expected it with more surety, but the rational part of his mind was hardly ever in control when it came to her. It was as if his sense abandoned him, leaving him to swim through a sea of emotion he could never find his bearings in.

Struggling, a new feeling churned in his gut, souring his temper and leaving him deflated. _How could she? _Resignation and reluctant acceptance pooled together. _Why wouldn't she? _Denial followed swiftly, a selfish want not to believe. _It can't really be true! I can't even stand the thought!_

Stumbling upon the last thing he had ever wanted to see in his life was like an echo of staring at that painting for the first time. Jealousy had shot dangerously through his heart, mistaking his own portrait for that of his brother. Only this time there was nothing to calm him from his rage, because there was no mistaking who Kaoru was holding onto, and there was no relieving the knowledge by telling himself that it was not real. Soon after his fury of seeing someone else in the painting, longing had taken its place, wanting what it portrayed for himself. Once again, this was no different, merely more potent. He wanted what Soujirou had. Wanted it for himself.

_No._ Eyes closing, he leaned into one of the posts lining the veranda._ It's her. I want her for myself._ Talons biting into the wood, he fought his breathing as the truth of what he had acknowledged sunk in. None of those things he had wanted to know and experience were born from simple curiosity. Coveting her attention, her smile, her respect, her acceptance, her affection, the warmth of her hand in his, or the strength of her arms wrapped around him like she had done Soujirou, they all had only one thing in common; her. Never in his life had he ever craved such things from anyone else, nor would he even now. It was only because it was her.

Too bad the realization had come too late.

Bitterness burst into flame inside his chest, charring all other emotions and turning them into smoke. It wasn't fair! He had brought her there. He had protected her; befriended her; humored her; gave her everything she could ever want. Why now, when he finally wanted something back, was he to be denied? And how could she give that which he wanted to someone else so easily, so quickly? He had known her long before the cheetah had. Why did Soujirou deserve what he did not?

And how dare she go about like nothing had changed between them. Kaoru had made her choice, and he was not it. For her to act like it was fine, for her to pretend like they were still friends, it did nothing more than disgust him. Because it hurt too, and it confused. He hated the mess she had made of him.

Tucked away in a small corner of his mind… he had begun to hate her as well.

Cringing, he listened to her approach, almost wishing she had not regained her former stubbornness and audacity. It had taken her only slightly more time to build it back up than lose it, but the confrontation was inevitable. He knew her too well, now. She could not just let things go, she did not take well to being ignored. After spending so long avoiding everything that had to do with his life, perhaps it was good that she was so abruptly forward. Perhaps it was even for the best that they get everything out in the open.

Waiting expectantly for the irritation that was sure to soak her voice, Kenshin's frown turned slightly baffled when she merely stopped behind him and said nothing. Angry that she wasn't following his own schedule of events, Kenshin's question was a click of teeth. "Is there something you wanted?"

Instead of an answering annoyance, the woman sighed. "I should have known you were angry with me."

Disgust contorted the muscles in his face, stunned that she would even think otherwise. "What reason do I have not to be?"

"None, I guess." There was a pause, and her voice became smaller. "I'm sorry."

_Sorry? _In disbelief, he wanted to laugh. _Sorry you've made me desire your interactions and warmth? Or sorry you have completely ripped them from me?_

"Do you not believe me?"

"No."

Her breath gasped in and out once, quickly. "I… I guess that's fair. I mean… I spent so much time trying to convince you I believe in second chances and then… when the time came, I couldn't prove I believed it at all. It was so awful of me, and I know it hurt you, and even if you don't believe it, I really am sorry."

_Not for Soujirou, for the rest of it._ Snorting, his wings twitched as the realization hit him. She was still conveniently forgetting that piece of truth. Suddenly tired, he closed his eyes and tried to be rid of her. "Go and eat your meal. It is no doubt cold by now."

"But…" She stuttered, his seeming indifference upsetting her tone. "I wanted you to join me. You've been avoiding me since the other day, and… I guess I deserve that too after avoiding you, but…" She took a breath, as if gathering courage. "I've missed you and I really want you to join me for lunch."

All of his rage trembled in his chest, reminding him of all of her feeble attempts at communication over the last couple days. "I am sick of hearing you lie to try and humor me."

"Lie?"

"I do not find it amusing, and I wish you would stop. I can tell you are forcing yourself to be nice to me, and it has become nothing but annoying."

"But Kenshin…"

"Stop it." Turning finally to level his glare over a shoulder, he felt his resolve weaken as her blue eyes appeared bruised and vulnerable. They were no where near the relieved and thankful state he had imagined them to be in when he finally freed her of some fabricated obligation. Feeling his shoulders begin to sag in sympathetic regret, he forcefully conjured up the memory of her happily embracing the cheetah and his bitterness returned to strengthen his determination. "I don't need your pity." Jerking away before her ignorant act won him completely over, he stomped off down the veranda.

"I'm not doing this out of pity!" Both of her strong hands latched onto his left arm, slowing him down as she dug in with her heels. Though she had withheld it longer than he had anticipated, her temper was finally showing itself. "You're my friend, dammit! I care about you! And at least I'm trying to do something! You have to be literally forced into anything!"

Trying to shake her off, he growled, his tail lashing as his wings buffeted the outer wall of a pavilion and the eaves of the veranda roof. "Let go of me, woman!"

"No! You're not going anywhere until I start hearing the truth from you!"

Finding himself unable to escape, he huffed in disbelief of the accusation, his free hand carefully prying on hers. "I have never lied to you."

"But you never tell me everything, either. You tell me half-truths and bits and pieces here and there, and then I have to learn the rest from somebody else. Saitou-san told me about your brothers." His upper lip curled. "Misao-san told me about your mother." He looked away. "Tomoe-dono told me about the curse." His hand dropped and the arm she held relaxed. "And Soujirou-kun told me what I should have heard from you."

Every loose muscle in his body tensed, the mixture of harsh emotions troubling his heart coming to a stand still. Neck swiveling slowly, his golden irises looked her over. "And just what was that?"

"Only why. I'm sure you didn't know exactly everything Tomoe-dono was going to tell me, but you knew what I was going to find out. She was not kind about it, Kenshin. It would have helped if I had heard it from you first."

"You would have had no reason to believe me."

Perplexed, her mouth hung open and her shoulders slumped. "What reason did I have not to?"

Shifting angrily, he tried once more to pull away. "I could not speak of it. Not in front of you. Not in front of anyone."

"So you were going to just let me hear it from someone else knowing they would be biased?"

"What I did was the worst kind of evil." Hissing, his head leaned forward to let his hair curtain and darken his face. "I have no right to defend or try to justify the actions I took."

"But you were going to just let me make my own assumptions without knowing the full truth. That was not fair."

"What is it you are looking for? An apology for your distress? If it would do any good, I would give that apology to you. I am truly sorry for the suffering you have endured because of me, but my sorrow will never erase the sins I committed."

Releasing his arm, Kaoru instead pushed on his shoulder in an attempt to make him face her. "I didn't want an apology for me, Kenshin. Learning about your past was something I needed to deal with, yes it was harder because you didn't tell me everything yourself, but I'm not mad at you for how it affected me. I don't like how it affected you. I don't like how you dealt with it. You avoid everything, Kenshin, you don't face anything, and you let it hurt you without trying to make it better. You should have made me listen to you. You should have stood up for yourself. You should have said anything, whatever you needed, to fight against your own pain. If you cared about our friendship at all, you would have fought to make sure it didn't disappear. You can't just stand back and let everything happen without you."

The subject had completely sidetracked him away from his original bitterness, and though the image of her with someone else was still within his mind, she was trying to erase it, trying even to encourage him to fight against it. Did she even understand what it was she was telling him, because he sure didn't. Her reaction to his past had been warranted, understood, and even expected. He did not hate her for acting as she had. It had hurt, but he deserved that pain. What had truly hurt him was her familiarity with another. What angered him was her ignorance of his torture. In absolute confusion and despair, his incomprehension making him even more irritable, he grabbed her by both shoulders, unwittingly shaking her. "How do you think I should act? What exactly do you want me to say?"

"Whatever you need to do or say to make yourself feel better. If there's something you want to say, then say it. If there is something you want to do, then do it. Don't hold it back and continue to hurt yourself with your inaction."

_Something I want to say and something I want to do. That is all that she wants._ Vividly he recalled her violent reaction to his helping hand at the breakfast table those two short days before and he knew what he wanted to say. It took less time for him to know what he wanted to do.

Her sharp intake of breath was loud in his ear. The slower exhalation of that breath was warm on the scales of his neck. She was tense in the embrace of his arms, but he had given her little time to prepare for his assault. For a moment his torment increased as he was unable to stop himself from comparing her frozen posture to that of her willingness when she was with Soujirou. Eyes clenched shut, he tried hard to ignore the shiver of pain that swept down his chest, and tightened his hold instead. It was nice getting to hold her this once, even if it only heightened his longing to have her hold him in return.

"I would never hurt you, Kaoru-dono." Swallowing with difficulty, he gently pushed his cheek into her hair. "Nor would I ever let harm come to you." Inhaling one tremulous breath of jasmine, he carefully let go and stepped away.

Softly the material of his kimono snagged, pulling against his back, and he glanced down even as he was turning to leave. Scrunched into the dark blue silk was her own slim, white hand, her fingers reluctantly uncurling to let him go. For one invigorating moment he knew with total certainty that she wanted him to stay, that she did not wish to let go, and that she was not adverse to his embrace. It swayed his decision to flee, halting his movements so that it was he who stood frozen, watching as her hand finally, lingeringly, slipped free to fall back to her side.

The moment passed just as quickly and his surety was besieged by doubts and excuses. Eyes lifting swiftly to her face, he searched desperately for even a hint of the surety he had felt, wanting to believe it was true. The sudden and forceful return of his attention reddened her cheeks, her blue eyes dark, her eyelids heavy, and when his scrutiny lasted too long she bit her lip and looked away. Both hands clasped together in front of her body, and she tugged fitfully at the sleeves of her kimono until they covered the tips of her fingers.

"Well I…" Voice breaking, she cleared her throat and squirmed uncomfortably. "I think you should have done that a long time ago. I mean," Her blush deepened, spreading all the way down her neck, and Kenshin found it was rather fascinating to watch. "don't you feel better?" When he didn't answer immediately she glanced up at him, a shy smile pulling at her lips in reaction to whatever she read on his face. "I like when you say what you feel, and I… think it would be great if you felt like you could tell me anything. And of course…" Her shoulders shrugged, and her eyes dropped again, the motion decidedly bashful. "I'm always open for a hug if you need one. Just…" A childish, lecturing frown pulled on her mouth, even as a smile was trying to tug her lips upwards. "don't be so abrupt about it next time. You surprised me."

Whatever reason he had for feeling upset with her was gone now. It would probably come back later to plague him, but her words were an appealing invitation, tempting him with the fulfillment he had coveted. Slowly his hand lifted towards her arm, the movement causing her sapphire irises to lock steadily with his. He was briefly able to interpret the anticipation staring back at him and it only encouraged him to forget everything else he thought he knew. In this moment, she was truly happy to be there with him.

"Aijou?"

Kenshin froze and Kaoru jumped, her eyes widening as she spun to face the owner of the voice. "Daddy?" A puzzled look was creasing the face of the older Kamiya, and Kaoru nearly panicked thinking about how long he could have been standing there. Scrambling for something to distract his attention, Kaoru blurted out the first thing that came to mind even as she blushed. "What are you doing here?"

Unwillingly amused, Koshijirou chuckled. "I can't visit my own daughter?" Meeting her halfway as she hurried forward to embrace him, his smile automatically dropped as he studied the lord over her shoulder. His paternal instincts were screaming, and although he didn't know why, he was feeling particularly overprotective. Smile reappearing as Kaoru pulled back, he held her by the shoulders and looked her over. "You keep getting more and more beautiful each time I visit. Just like your mother."

"Dad. This is only the second time you've been here." Rolling her eyes, she sighed.

"Yes, yes, but it does not make the statement any less true." Wrapping an arm around her shoulders he kissed her on the temple and squeezed her into his side. "Well, enough of that. I was actually summoned here."

Confused, Kaoru blinked. "What?"

"Since I have been given so little time to visit you, I was not going to come again until the end of summer, but I received a summons from the lord yesterday."

Both sets of blue eyes looked to Kenshin curiously, but there was an assessing slant in Koshijirou's that suggested he was suspicious. Though unsettled at first, Kenshin was used to ignoring animosity of any form. Cool mask once more in place, covering his disappointment of the interruption, he inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I needed to speak with you in person, Kamiya-san. I hope it has not inconvenienced you in any way."

"Of course not. I always enjoy seeing my daughter."

A sad frown was marring Kaoru's face and she spoke what her father could not. "You aren't going to count this as one of his days, are you Kenshin?"

Pausing as a dark brow lifted at the easy familiarity in which she spoke his name, Kenshin pulled his eyes away from her father. A slight stirring of unease was fluttering around his stomach, and it puzzled him to realize the man was able to invoke such a response in him. Only a few months before the dojo master had feared him. What had changed his cowardice into confidence?

"No, my lady." The eyebrow lifted just a bit higher. "I had no intention of penalizing him for my own summons." Turning to the side, Kenshin gestured down the veranda. "It won't take but a moment. In the meantime, you should really return to your meal, Kaoru-dono, and inform Tae-san that your father is here and will be along shortly."

"Ok." Smiling, she shared the look with her father and encouraged him to follow after Kenshin. "Will you be joining us, Kenshin?"

Golden eyes flitting back to Koshijirou quickly, Kenshin shook his head. "I'm afraid I must get back to my duties."

"Alright, I'll have Tae send something over for you. I know you haven't been eating."

Unable to help his smile, Kenshin was glad he was walking in front of her father. "Very well, my lady."

It wasn't really fair at all, he decided, how easily she could rid him of his anger. Strange, since she was the very reason for it to begin with. If he wanted to be truthful, though, laughing with her was much more appealing than arguing. He would think on the rest of it later.

Opening the door to the pavilion he had converted into an office, he led her father inside to the innermost room. In a much more comfortable situation now that he was on familiar ground, Kenshin knelt on a cushion and then waved a hand at another. Now back in the roll of master, the alien nervousness and anxiety was gone, leaving no trace to track its origin. It didn't really matter, he told himself, because it was not something that would be repeated, anyway. Whatever odd sensations he had experienced were no doubt a side effect of the expectant atmosphere building between him and Kaoru.

"As I said before, Kamiya-san, this will not take long, and then you may dine with your daughter as I am sure you are hungry."

The blue eyes of Kaoru's father were much more sensible and shrewd than her own, and they were even now calculating every word that Kenshin was speaking. The change in his demeanor once again struck the lord as unexpected. Denial, fear, sorrow, anger; these were all the emotions he had seen from the man. Not once had he witnessed this calm discipline and measuring stare. Not while he looked at him, anyway. It seemed some changes had occurred in his life, some realizations and adjustments to the new arrangement, and in enduring, had found his strength.

"If I am to enjoy a day of my daughter's company without cost, then I am grateful and will give you as much time as you need." Curiously, he looked around the interior of the room. "I understand your need to be brief, though. You must be a very busy man if you have not even been eating."

Kenshin frowned. The observation had sounded too much like disapproval. "My duties keep me busy enough."

"Ah." Blue eyes came back to him and Kenshin vaguely noticed that Koshijirou's held more grey than Kaoru's. Much like the steel of a katana. "Not busy enough to keep Kaoru from meddling, as is her way."

Hearing a touch of humorous understanding, Kenshin nodded, but didn't answer. The conversation was starting to sound too much like a trap. For several long seconds they did nothing but blink at each other, and then Koshijirou actually smiled.

"What was it you wished to discuss with me, my lord?"

Silent for a moment or two longer, Kenshin tried to figure out the mechanisms to the trap but found he was unable to. Giving up, he instead looked down as he lifted a stack of papers to study, the action clearly dismissive. "I have recently decided that the restrictions I set upon you may have been a little harsh." Surprise lifted both of Koshijirou's eyebrows. "Kaoru-dono is the only remaining member of your family, it would be cruel to separate you completely."

"I'm sorry, my lord, but… what are you saying?"

"I have decided that you may visit whenever you wish, for as long as you wish. I have had one of the western pavilions made ready for you, and it will be yours whenever you stay."

"That… that is the best news I've had all season." Bowing low until his forehead touched the floor, Koshijirou clenched his eyes shut. "I don't know how to thank you enough." Hands fisting to deal with the release of a tangled mass of emotions he had tried to lock away, the father knew he now understood true relief. The torturous thought of missing so much of his daughter's life had plagued him for countless days and nights. Now he would not have to worry about such things.

"Your gratitude is not necessary." Brushing a few notes onto a page, he carefully filed the paper away and turned to the next. "I know it will make Kaoru-dono happy."

"Kaoru doesn't know about this yet?" Something was warning him once again to be cautious and attentive. It was a strange sensation. Like the expectance just before an opponent moves to strike. Though the dragon-formed lord before him seemed much tamer and was more polite than the last time he had been there, Koshijirou couldn't help be think that he was his opponent.

"No. I thought I would leave that up to you." The soft scrape of the brush in his clawed grip intensified the quiet.

"Has my daughter been happy here?"

Golden irises glanced up, blinked, and dropped again. "You will have to ask her. I cannot answer for her."

"But you want her to be happy."

Kenshin's hand froze mid-brushstroke. The trap was closing in on him. "…Yes."

Steadying his breath, Koshijirou pushed hesitantly into his next question. It would decide what type of opponent the lord was and the tactics he needed to utilize against him. "Do you not think she would be happier at her own home, visiting you?"

Red lashes lowered over his eyes and he sighed slowly. "Kaoru-dono is free to leave whenever she wishes. I would not force her to stay if she truly wished to go."

"I see."

Feeling abruptly gruff, Kenshin shuffled through the stack of papers. "Now if you don't mind, I need to get back to my duties. Musashino will show you to your pavilion and then escort you to the dining hall."

Koshijirou followed the direction of Kenshin's careless gesture, surprised to find a small hedgehog waiting for him just outside the shoji in the hallway. "If you would follow me, Kamiya-sama."

Still partially bewildered by the talking animals, though slowly getting used to it, Koshijirou nodded. "I would be grateful for the assistance." Standing, he bowed his head one last time to the lord. "Thank you again. Even if it was just to make Kaoru happy, you have eased my mind as well." _And yet, at the same time, I am strangely unsettled. Something much greater than simple amity has developed between my daughter and this cursed lord. No man would go through so much trouble for one young girl. Not without reason._

As he stepped down into the surrounding hallway, two young snow monkeys appeared around the corner carrying a tray of food between them. They nodded to him politely, but settled the tray on the raised flooring and began assembling a placement of dishes beside their master. "The lady wanted you to know she will be checking the tray when you send it back to make sure you've eaten, my lord." There was a smile in the words coming from one of the monkeys. "And I am to stay to make sure you do not simply get rid of it." The other spoke up, clearly trying not to giggle.

Growling, Kenshin snatched up a bowl of rice and the ivory chopsticks. "I was planning on eating, and I do not need an audience."

"Lady's orders, I'm afraid."

Clearing his throat to hide his laughter, Koshijirou shook his head. "Kaoru can be overly stubborn about such things. Take it from someone with experience, it's useless to try and fight her."

"Maybe I should blame it on you, since you are her father." Irritated, Kenshin grumbled. Unwittingly, an atmosphere of informality through understanding had developed, making it much too easy for both to respond.

Shrugging, Koshijirou shouldered his bag. "Blame it on her mother. Sayoko was persistent when it came to the care and happiness of her family." Something vulnerable loosened the frown on the lord's features, giving Koshijirou pause, and the suspicion in his mind took form. As a father, it was disturbing his composure.

"I see. Then you should not keep her waiting much longer, or she will begin to worry about you as well." Dismissed from the building, Koshijirou was left with little choice but to follow his escort. No amount of distance could pull his thoughts from that office pavilion, however. There was too much there for him to think on.

The pavilion he had been given was only a few removed from the master's at the center, giving him plenty of space and privacy. It was much nicer than his own home, clean, and had everything he would need already placed inside just waiting for him. It was strange, because although the lord had firmly stated that Koshijirou was only there to keep Kaoru happy, he had gone out of his way to make sure the pavilion was more than comfortable. Even the screens were freshly painted, depicting several soothing scenes of the ocean, a bamboo forest, and even one of a dignified tiger. The last one made him smile, because it reminded him of the young tiger he had been first introduced to on his last visit.

Kaoru was waiting for him impatiently in the dining hall, and by the look on her face, her curiosity was about to eat her alive. Smiling as he entered, she jumped up from her cushion and proceeded to drag him to his own seat. Shoved down onto the pillow, he couldn't help but laugh as she dropped down next to him and stared expectantly. "Well?"

Feigning ignorance, because he knew it would kill her, he reached for his tea cup. "Well what, aijou?"

"What did you talk about?"

"Now, aijou, perhaps there was a reason he wished to talk to me in private, did you think about that?"

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm sure it was only a formality. I mean, what could he possibly have to say to you that I couldn't hear about?" Trailing off slowly, Kaoru blinked, then turned to her food. Red slowly spread down her cheeks, surprising her father and widening his eyes, but then she shook her head and rolled her eyes with a frown as if dismissing the idea as foolish. "Oh come on, old man, you know it wasn't anything I couldn't hear."

Frowning himself now, he studied her with the same ounce of suspicion he had studied the lord. _It's not true. She's much too young, and how could it be with…_ Eyes narrowing, he looked straight through her lifted eyebrow and nervous glances. "Dad? Are you ok?" Face clearing in worry, she touched his shoulder. "You didn't fight, did you?"

_I am liking this situation less and less. Perhaps I should try to convince her to come back home. At least there I can keep an eye on her._

"Dad?" Blinking he pulled himself back to the present. "You didn't say anything bad to Kenshin, did you? You know, he's really a good person, I mean… he's done some things in his past, but his trying to be a better person now. Isn't that what you told me really counts?"

"Yes, Kaoru, and no, we did not argue. In fact, he gave me some good news."

"Oh?"

Nodding, he squeezed her hand and smiled. "It seems you were right about being nice to him, aijou, because he is going to allow me to visit whenever I want."

"Really?" Sapphire eyes lit with joy, and she bounced in place.

"He has even given me my own pavilion to stay in while I am here."

"That's great!" Excited, she laughed. "See, I told you he was a good person, and it's not just because I'm nice to him. He really cares about everyone here, and he's a good master to them all. Granted it took a little persuasion to convince him to take up the job, but he didn't really need any more help then a bit of encouragement."

"You mean outside interference." Amused, even though he was still uneasy, Koshijirou grinned when she shrugged with a small pout.

"I didn't do that much, just groomed him up a bit, that's all."

"Ah, I was wondering about that. Seeing him fully clothed does make it a bit easier to speak with him. Like he's tamer and more civil."

"Yeah, he's never said anything, but I think he's more comfortable too."

She nodded, and Koshijirou could feel how much easier it was for his daughter to speak about the master. As if they were on more than just speaking terms. As if they were friendly with each other. As if they spent a lot of time together. "You are getting along well here, then?"

"Oh yes, I've made a lot of friends, and I'm never really lonely. Kenshin spends as much time with me as he can, when he's not busy, and I get to use the training hall whenever I want. I can basically go wherever I want, and, oh, do you remember Tae, the cook you met last time you were here? She got married a few weeks ago. It was really beautiful, because everyone showed up to celebrate. It was touching just to know that everyone cares so much for one couple's happiness."

"Then you are happy here?"

"Well… yeah, I am." Wondering at the sad way her father asked, Kaoru's smile faded. "Especially now that you get to visit me whenever you want. A lot of stuff has been happening, and I was a little afraid to ask for fear of adding to it, and with the weather acting the way it has, I thought I might have a bit more time to bring it up." Her smile returned. "It makes me happy to know Kenshin did this on his own."

"Hmm." Looking down into his lap, Koshijirou closed his eyes. "And what would you say if I told you that you didn't have to stay?"

Kaoru frowned, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I was also informed that if you wished to come home with me, that you may." Meeting her eyes suddenly, he leaned forward, his hand grabbing hers. "Your place is at home, Kaoru. You could still visit here if you wanted, but it is not proper for an unmarried woman to be living without a suitable guardian around to look after her."

Kaoru was instantly defensive, without even truly understanding why. "Dad, I am perfectly capable of looking out for myself. Besides, everyone here looks after each other, and Misao's with me almost twenty-four seven. Not to mention, I'm probably the most improper person here. Kenshin just about freaks out when I do anything he considers inappropriate. You should have heard him about my training clothes, and don't even let me get started on the cleaning. I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel."

"It is not your clothes or your independence that worries me, aijou." Fumbling and uncomfortable, he wished for his wife to be there. Surely a woman needed to be having this conversation with their daughter. Father's were really not suited. Shaking his head with a sigh, he studied her again. She really was quite beautiful. Womanhood was agreeing with her. "Kaoru… you are still very young and, I know you don't like hearing this but, naïve as well." Covering the hand she had resting on the table, he stilled her disagreement. "I just… I don't want you getting hurt."

Instantly, Kenshin's words echoed in her mind, promising never to hurt her, never to let her get hurt, and she smiled. "Don't worry, Dad, I won't."

Sadness twitched his features. "Does that mean you wish to stay here?"

Biting her lip, Kaoru hesitated, then nodded. "I love you, Dad, and I miss home, but… I'm… I'm beginning to really love it here, too. I don't want to leave now. I've made so many friends, and I feel… I feel like I belong here, like I'm wanted. Don't get me wrong, I know I was loved at home, but I never…" Her shoulders slumped, and Koshijirou squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"You never fit in at the village."

"No. I know why now, but… I also know why I never will fit in there. I want to stay here, besides…" Chuckling softly, she glanced quickly at the empty spot at the head of the table. "someone's got to keep Kenshin in line, and he sure won't let his servants get away with that."

_But he will you._ Hanging his head, he let his fingers slip away from his daughter's. _You are falling in love with this man, aren't you, aijou? I only hope that his intentions are just as innocent. Perhaps it would be best if I made sure._ After all, a man to man talk would be much easier than trying to explain such things to his daughter.

"I suppose then, aijou, that I will simply have to content myself with visiting as often as possible."

Nodding merrily, Kaoru picked up her chopsticks. "I would like that, Father."

X

A/N: I don't know why, but this chapter took more time to write than the others. They were harder, but this one kept sidetracking me and I would get lost thinking about future events. Funny huh? Well, I didn't really resolve the Soujirou thing for Kenshin yet, but he has been encouraged to stay in the game lol. They're so cute! I also didn't really resolve Kaoru's issue with Kenshin's past, but she has realized that it doesn't mean she can't still care about the Kenshin she knows now. We'll get to the rest in the next chapter, hopefully, since I was trying to get to it in this one, and it didn't work out so well. Oh well, Kaoru's dad was a blast. I wanted to make sure there was a definite difference between this Koshijirou and the one we saw last time. He has come a long way in his own life, after realizing that although his wife is gone and his daughter is staying elsewhere, that his life is not completely over with, and he cannot just give up, either. More of that will be shown later too. Probably the chapter after next, or after that one, just depends. And Kenshin getting nervous because of that father issue…lmfao. So cute, although, he really doesn't understand it completely yet. I liked how he wanted to write it off as something else entirely. In denial, he is. Especially since Koshijirou almost caught them getting cozy.

Alright, next chapter we get to reminisce with Kaoru's dad about some old stories. Oh, and Sayoko means evening child. I was so glad I finally got to work in Kaoru's mother's name. Please leave a review, and see you soon.


	29. Mother's Stories

Thanks and here you go!

Disclaimer: It's mine. It's all mine. (Except for the important stuff… you know, just the characters.)

**Chapter 29: Mother's Stories**

The situation was even worse than Koshijirou had originally thought. After spending his afternoon listening in on conversations and carefully questioning parts of the staff, it was more than apparent that everyone knew. Some of them, or so he thought he had overheard, even had a bet going on. They were discreet with him, but he could tell they were being tightlipped. Which only made his anxiety skyrocket. Even the thought of his daughter being affectionately friendly with a boy made his stomach knot. To know that she was well beyond that point with this centuries-old, dangerous lord made him want to vomit, or hold him at sword point and demand he keep his mind clean of any primitive, male thoughts when it came to his daughter. For surely he would soon exploit her generous, loving nature. Soon he would take advantage of her naivety and use it for his own gain.

At least, that was what he had wanted to believe, but after nearly three days, Koshijirou was grudgingly accepting a new conclusion. If Kaoru was clumsily stumbling upon any new or deeper emotions for the master of the palace, Koshijirou could clearly see that the lord was even more awkward about discovering his own. No matter how frazzled he seemed to get, however, he was always gentle: gentle when he spoke; gentle with his mannerisms; gentle when he moved. He was still moody, and his daughter still got annoyed with him, but Koshijirou could tell the lord was trying hard to keep his temper in check. A part of him wanted to believe the lord's restraint was only for show while her father was there, but nothing was ever said or done that suggested the master's actions were out of the norm.

There were even many new things Koshijirou had seen that was unwillingly developing in him a level of respect for the palace lord. First being the confirmation of Kaoru's claim that she was the most improper being living now at the palace. While he was sure there were a few of the servants that weren't exactly proper, either, her Lord Kenshin was by far the most formal person he had ever associated with. Kaoru herself seemed to have fallen into parts of the routine and no longer noticed, but Koshijirou wasn't used to the archaic way he spoke, or the small customs he practiced. Apparently it was all part of his noble upbringing, and yet, Koshijirou couldn't help but think that there were parts of his instruction that could not have been common. He was just much too polite and attentive. Although those habits could have been acquired throughout the extensive years of his life, too.

The second part of the lord's characteristics that he admired was the honorable way he treated his servants and the rest of the population that was under his care. According to what he had learned, this was not something he had always performed, but had stepped into just recently. Not that he had ever treated his subjects cruelly, merely with neglect. After so long, Koshijirou was not ignorant to the strength one would have to possess to face such a responsibility. Then to pick it up and carry on with it so diligently. If he had not cared to begin with, it would not have been something he was so proficient at.

What he liked the most, and the least, was the courteous way he addressed and acted towards his daughter. Though she spoke his name without a title as if it were the most natural thing in the world, the lord never said her name without showing her the utmost veneration. He always offered a hand to help her up, always listened politely when she spoke, handled her curiosity with indulgence and hidden amusement, showed no disdain for her training, and dealt with her almost overbearing, nurturing instinct with as much patience as he could muster. He was much too fond of his daughter, but Koshijirou had nothing to complain about when it came to the lord's actions. Except that his emotions seemed to still be in confusion, and that meant there was room for growth. Growth meant his actions would be tested with each new, uncovered feeling, and Koshijirou knew, from experience, that such a testing was hard to deny. Though he was careful with her now, what was going to keep him from dropping that consideration later?

His role as a father demanded that Koshijirou make certain that no such thing would ever happen to dishonor his daughter. The only problem he was encountering to follow through with that obligation was his own indecision on how to go about it. From all that he suspected, and everything that Kaoru had confirmed, Lord Kenshin was far older than both of them. At such an age, Koshijirou was sure the lord would not do well with receiving a lecture. Not to mention he was a frightening being, in both appearance and power. And just how did one go about intimidating a man that was far too used to being the menacing one? How did one go about giving a lecture to someone older, but somehow younger at the same time?

It was confusing, because as a man dealing with another male showing interest in his daughter, he could not help but think of that possible suitor as a boy. Lord Kenshin was too old to be considered a boy. All of the boys living at the palace were too old to be considered boys. And yet, if he was not a boy, then what was he, for surely he was too old even to be considered a grown man. He was still too youthful to be considered old, too experienced to be considered young, he showed too much potential for growth to be at the end of his life, and yet commanded too much power, authority, and grace to be immature. But when it came down to Kaoru, Koshijirou saw more of his unsure and tentative side; he saw more of the boy.

A boy would need to know where the line was, and what would happen to him if he were to cross it. A boy would need to be made to understand how much a girl's father loves her, how much he would be willing to do for her to be happy and safe. A boy would need to be told that he has to prove how happy and safe he could make a girl before he received her father's approval. A boy needed to fear, just a little, the girl's father and the retribution he would call down upon the boy if he were ever to hurt her.

Of course, a boy would be clumsy and awkward and desperate to please all the time. That was not the case with Lord Kenshin. At least, not that Koshijirou had seen. But he had a feeling that such weaknesses were not for his eyes to witness, and any unknowing glimpses he had caught were not intentional. Sighing, Koshijirou watched Kaoru wipe the sweat off her brow and smile. They were in the hall, training again, but his thoughts were hardly on his movements. It was only luck that kept Kaoru from noticing his distraction. Luck, and years upon years of repetition.

"It's getting warmer, isn't it?" Huffing on her quickened breath, Kaoru laughed and fanned herself as she put away her wooden practice sword.

"The mountain air is harder to breath as well, aijou." Offhand, he followed her to a side wall and replaced his own sword.

"Yeah, but I thought I'd be used to it by now." Frowning, Kaoru pursed her lips. "You don't seem bothered at all, Father."

Laughing, he ruffled her bangs. "Those boys have really kept my lungs in shape."

Defensive, Kaoru jerked. "Well I'm not about to be outdone by a bunch of boys. Come on, let's keep going." Turning to march back over to the rack of practice weapons, Koshijirou laughed harder and stopped her with an arm.

"Now, now, aijou. It is only because I am constantly yelling, not because of their skill. You know you are my best apprentice."

"Hmph." Crossing her arms, she allowed him to lead her outside, but muttered the entire way about extending her training periods.

It was getting warmer outside, only the occasional chill breeze speaking of the past winter. Many of the trees were budding out, the gardens turning green with life, and the only smell of smoke came from the kitchen and bathhouse stoves. It was Sayoko's favorite time of year, and Koshijirou always missed her most during the spring. _I wish you could help me with our daughter, koishii. You always knew how to handle her better than I._

"Daddy… can I ask you a question?"

Blinking, he smiled, amused by the childish way she still addressed him at times. She would always be his little girl, and it was comforting to know. "You know you may ask me anything, aijou."

"Well, yeah, but…"

Glancing down at her as they walked, his smile slowly faded. "Aijou… what is bothering you?"

Dark brows curled further together and she struggled with the right words to say. She wanted her father to like Kenshin, so she didn't want to say anything that would give him a reason not to. At the same time, Kaoru knew her father was the best person to ask to help sort out the problem that was still troubling her heart. Kenshin was Kenshin, not anyone before our after the time they were now in, and she cared for him no matter what had happened in his past. A part of her, however, still questioned whether or not it was wrong to care.

"Dad… I've been training with you most of my life, haven't I? I mean… you really wanted this to be a part of me, didn't you?"

"Your mother and I both did. We hoped it would make you both strong, and compassionate." Smiling gently, he squeezed her into his side.

Trying to smile back, Kaoru dropped her eyes to her feet, watching as they stepped in unison with her father's. "The Kamiya Kasshin-ryu… doesn't take life, it's about saving life, right? About protecting and respecting all life and its possibilities. No one is exempt from this, not even our opponents."

"That's right. No one has the right to say whether or not another deserves to die. But you must be careful, aijou, not everyone believes this."

Nodding in a way that suggested she had heard this many times before, Kaoru looked up. "Those people are the reason for this style, though, right Father? If everyone believed that, then there would be no reason to learn how to fight."

"Sadly, this is very true. There are still too many people who believe that swords are meant to kill, not protect." Briefly his mind went back to the lord and the angry words he had hissed after being questioned about his samurai origins. It seemed like such a long time ago now that winter was over.

"So we are meant to protect those that cannot protect themselves, but… what about those that do not know of our technique or do not believe in its non-killing principle? Do we still protect them, even if they have killed others? Even innocents?"

Koshijirou stopped on the veranda and gave her a long, considering look. "Are you saying you would not, that you would take his life or let it be forfeit because he has killed others?"

"No, of course not! I only meant…" Swallowing, she tilted her chin away, her dark blue irises searching without seeing the beautiful garden spreading out next to them. "No matter what I would always protect a life if that life was in danger. I just… I just want to know if it is right to want to do more." Looking up suddenly, her eyes were surprisingly intense. "Would a master of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu shun someone who took many lives, on and off the battlefield? Someone who, even now, carries that burden with him? Would it be wrong if you did not?" Watching her father's mouth open to reply, she spoke quickly over him, almost afraid of his answer. "Would it shame all of the lives he condemned if you couldn't? Is it wrong to want to forgive him?" Lip trembling, she finally looked away, her fingers twisting together.

Eyes widening, Koshijirou could guess every single reason why she was asking him such a question, and every one of them frightened him with their conclusion. _Spirits, Sayoko… what do I do now?_ A glow, like the sun filtering through pink flowers, made him half-close his eyes against the light. Flinching partly to the side, he strained to see what was the cause through his lashes. Carefully the beam rocked to the side and he was saved from its blinding ray, the glint bringing his attention to the necklace laying against Kaoru's chest. Sunlight was hitting it, causing it to shine, and Koshijirou was struck by just how beautiful it was. And warm… like Sayoko.

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. _Thank you._ Placing a hand at Kaoru's back, he encouraged her to the edge of the walk. "Come, little girl. Why don't we sit down?" Obediently she did as he asked, her eyes still avoiding his. Sighing loudly, he smiled crookedly at the perfectly manicured garden, remembering a time before his daughter. "Have I ever told you about how I met your mother?" Startled, Kaoru shot him a look, but shook her head. "She grew up on the other side of the mountain. We probably would have never known one another if not for the last war." Smiling as her blue eyes widened, he nodded. "Yes, Kaoru, your father fought in the war… and my sword took many lives."

"But the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu…"

"Was not created until afterwards." Taking her hand in his, he held it between both of his own and patted it soothingly. "I invented this style for you, and this new era of peace we had created. War is an awful thing, Kaoru, and I hope you never have to witness it. That is why I worked hard for my dream to become a reality. I want this style to become more of a truth than the one we all know now. Death will never bring peace. Only life will. Your mother believed in this too, and she encouraged me to never give up.

"The day I met her was a beautiful day, just like this one, in her home town, beneath the cherry trees. I was on my way home, the war was finally over, but I ended up staying there with her for another two weeks. On the day I left we made a promise, I would come back for her as soon as my dream was complete, and she would wait, no matter how long it took. It took me ten years, aijou, but she was still there when I came back. She was still waiting." Smiling, it was his turn to glance out over the garden, unseeing. Long moments later the joy slid from his face and he returned his attention to her. "I don't know the right answer to your question, aijou, but let me ask you… would an apprentice of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu shun her master if she knew he had at one time killed to protect instead of saved?"

Slowly she shook her head, though not out of indecision. "Not at all. Mama didn't shun you, because she knew you were trying hard to atone for the sins you had committed. And I think… no, I feel like this style you invented was not only for me and for everyone living today, but to honor all the lives you took in order to create this peace I can now enjoy."

"You are quite insightful for someone so young." Kissing her temple, he hugged her tightly. "Has this alleviated your worry, Kaoru?"

"Maybe a little, but…" Still unsure, still haunted by the knowledge of everything Kenshin had done and thinking of how little her father's past compared to it, her tone was undecided. "Father, you never…"

"Slaughtered entire villages and burnt them to the ground?" Voice shockingly cool, Kaoru pulled away to stare.

"How did you…?"

"You forget, our village has many stories. I was forbidden to tell you most of them by your mother. That is simply one of them. Though… I would not have repeated that one to you even if she had allowed it." Emotions he had wished to protect his daughter from were tightening the frown lines around her eyes and mouth. It made him wonder who had told her such a thing. He had been so sure that the master would never want her to know of his past. Still thinking of his wife, he sighed. "That is why you were raised mainly on your mother's stories. They always seemed to be a positive answer to the negative of ours. Even this story."

"What?" Stunned and breathless, Kaoru blinked. "What kind of answer could there be to that?"

"Do you not remember?" Surprised, Koshijirou sat back.

Thinking, she shook her head. "No… I remember…" Separating the parts of her mother's story that she could remember and Tomoe's true story, Kaoru scrunched her nose in thought. "The sorceress' husband went off to war and never came back, leaving her with their child."

"That is not much, aijou. Would you like me to tell you the rest of the story? Refresh your memory?"

"Yes. Please."

"Alright, let's see how well I remember them…"

X

Even though the sun was on its downward descent, everything felt warmer, happier, better than before. The glow of orange in the sky was soothing, the smell of the ocean on the breeze refreshing, and the smile on Kaoru's face was a fierce echo of the excitement and glee in her heart.

Running, nearly bouncing, down the veranda, Kaoru raced her way from one side of the palace to the other, leaving her father to find his own way to the dining hall. It was all blindingly apparent to her now. All of the reasons she had thought up for her turmoil, everything she had fretted and worried about, none of it mattered. And now that she knew an even larger piece of the story, the truth about why she had felt as she had was clear. It was the relief that had followed, the joy of getting to share and reassure, that had done it. Kaoru had been afraid, torn by the thought of picking a side.

If she chose Kenshin, than that meant she couldn't care for Tomoe. If she decided that it was Tomoe she wanted to care for, or the people Kenshin had killed, than that meant she couldn't care for Kenshin. The thought had ate away at her, turning her guilt against her. But that wasn't why she was there. She didn't have to choose a side, because she cared for all of them. She wasn't meant to be biased. That wasn't what the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu was about. She was so glad, because she couldn't stop herself from caring. Not for any of them.

Passing by her own pavilion without stopping, she rounded the corner and spied Kenshin on the other side coming out of his office. Still giddy, still unable to stop her grin, she slowed her dashing steps. Golden eyes looked up at her, and his mouth opened slightly in surprise, but his lips quirked, pleased with her presence. It occurred to her in that moment that he had once again left her to find out everything from someone else. _Idiot. I'm really going to have to start demanding the full truth from you from now on._ Though she did have to wonder if he even realized Tomoe did not know.

"Ah, Kaoru-dono. Did you wish to walk together to the dining hall…?"

Caught off guard, Kenshin grunted as her full weight slammed into his chest. Midair, her arms wrapped tightly around his middle, and he thought he heard her giggle, but was too preoccupied with trying to keep his feet under him. Overbalanced, he stumbled back, slamming his weight into the wall behind him and trying to catch himself with both hands. Slanted at an awkward angle, his knees bent on either side of her, wings squashed into the pavilion, and tail caught under one foot, he stared wide-eyed down at the crown of her head. For a second her arms tightened like clamps around his ribs, and then her cheek was sliding against the silk of his kimono and she was looking up at him. Sapphire irises were bright, and she laughed.

"Sorry." Jumping back just as quickly, she laughed again and took off down the walkway. "I need to go talk to someone real quick, Kenshin, so go ahead and start eating without me! I'll be there in a bit!" Left staring after her, he blinked rapidly, still stuck in his frozen, uncomfortable posture.

"That was… interesting."

Hurriedly standing straight, Kenshin belatedly remembered the other two that were with him. Glancing at the lion, he opened his mouth, but was at a loss on what to say.

"Yes, I think she gets a bit… impulsive when she's happy about something." Standing next to Kogorou was the cheetah, his voice matter-of-fact. "At least, that's how she was when I told her something that made her happy." Meeting Kenshin's shifting gaze, Soujirou ducked just slightly. "It scared the life out of me, too."

"_And Soujirou-kun told me what I should have heard from you."_

Blinking, Kenshin relaxed. "I see."

Looking back after Kaoru, he shook his head, closed his eyes, and smiled ruefully.

X

Bounding up the steps to the shrine, Kaoru was so impatient to be inside she forgot to knock like she always did. Bursting through the doorway, she scanned the interior, pulling up short when she couldn't find Tomoe anywhere.

"Tomoe-dono?"

"This is rather sudden, Kaoru-chan."

Jumping as the voice sounded next to her, Kaoru turned, blinked, then threw her surprise to the side and smiled widely. "I hope you don't mind, but I'm just too excited to wait."

"Oh?" Curling an arm around her shoulders, Tomoe left the door open and led her, like always, to the still living sakura blossoms. "And what has you so excited that you would nearly bust my door down just to share?"

Nearly gushing, Kaoru sat, allowed Tomoe to situate herself comfortably, then just smiled at her. She wanted to just tell her what she knew without explaining, but she grudgingly admitted to herself that some details would have to be revealed. After all, what reason would this sorceress have to believe that what she was about to say held any truth at all? Clearing her throat, Kaoru briefly touched her necklace, reveled in a moment of delight, then started where she thought would be best.

"My Dad came to visit me."

Amused, Tomoe petted her hair. "That's nice, dear. You enjoy getting to spend time with your father, don't you?"

Nodding happily, Kaoru suppressed a giggle. "Yep, and its even better now, because Kenshin's decided to let him visit whenever he wants to."

"Really?" That same sound of amazement and partial delight that always soaked her voice when Kaoru told her something she did not expect about Kenshin showed itself.

"Uh-huh, but that's beside the point. Just today, Dad reminded me of some of my mother's stories that she used to tell me when I was young. It's been so long that I've forgotten most of them, but after hearing this one again, I thought you might like it."

Black eyes widened and Kaoru knew that this was not what the sorceress had expected from her. Amused indulgence soon followed, and Tomoe inclined her head. "Then by all means, please tell away."

"Great! But first I wanted to explain something else I've learned." Tomoe shook her head at Kaoru's energy, but waved a hand for her to carry on. "It's about Kenshin, and it's not an excuse, but I want you to know anyway, because it helps the story."

Confusion was slowly taking the place of enjoyment, and Tomoe's smile slid from her face. "What kind of story is this, Kaoru-chan?"

Biting her lip as her anticipation simmered down, Kaoru shifted and brushed at her bangs. "An old one my mother heard from her mother…" A frown puckered the woman's brow. "Just hear me out… what I wanted you to know first is that… the only reason Kenshin did everything you told me by himself was because he was trying to keep the others from having to." Grabbing at Tomoe's hand to keep her attention, afraid she would try to ignore her, Kaoru leaned forward earnestly. "Kenshin wasn't originally supposed to attack the villages. His father was going to send a group of others to do it, but when Kenshin found out he volunteered because he wanted to protect them from that dishonor. It's not an excuse, but I wanted you to know that it did upset him. It torments him still."

Revulsion and disbelief contorted her features, and Tomoe yanked her hand away. "If he was so bothered, then why did he not let any of them go? Why didn't he help any of them escape?"

"But he did!" Words jumping over the top of her own, Kaoru snatched Tomoe's hand back. "I mean…" Toning down briefly in sadness, Kaoru admitted to her own lack of knowledge on the subject. "I don't think he let a lot of them go because that would have tipped his father off, but I can't say I know for sure that he didn't, either, but… I do know that he let at least part of one village go."

Suspicious hope twitched the muscles in Tomoe's face. "How would you know such a thing? Did he tell you this to placate you?"

"No. My father told me, remember? The story I wanted to tell you that my mother knew."

"If it is just a story, then how do you know it is true."

"Can I tell you the story first, before I explain?"

Jerking her head away, Tomoe closed her eyes, but nodded shortly.

"Ok, it starts off telling of a sorceress." Smiling, Kaoru watched the reactions her friend gave to her, knowing she had her full attention with just that one sentence. "A beautiful sorceress with great powers and a pure heart. Never did she use her powers for evil, but only for good. Many sought her out for those powers, many tried to win her heart, but her heart was already taken." Sapphire eyes looked over to the four remaining petals on the tree. "It was a boy, her childhood friend, who could claim her love, and when they were grown, they were happily married. But a neighboring lord was planning a war to gain more lands, and when the threats reached towards their peaceful hometown, the sorceress' husband left to defend his family… leaving behind his wife and their child." The glow of the petals was getting stronger, and as the words poured from her mouth, she heard her mother's voice and not her own. "But he would never come back."

"_Weak from childbirth, the sorceress left her newborn child in the care of her most trusted friend and told her to flee and protect her child while she searched for her husband. With the sorceress gone, the village had no protection against an attack, and before everyone was ready to leave, the son of the neighboring lord came. The remaining men tried to fend him off, but he would not be bested._

"_Night fell, and everyone cowered inside their homes, hiding from the man combing the streets and rooftops. As the last ray of sun disappeared over the horizon, he finally came to rest at the center of the town and called out a challenge. It was only the sorceress he had come for. If she were to show herself, then everyone else could go free._

"_But the sorceress was not there. She was gone, looking for her love. Still holding the sorceress' newborn child, the trusted friend made a decision. Passing the baby off to another woman in demand that she care for the child as if she was the most precious thing in the world, the trusted friend stepped out to meet the man. Boldly she claimed that she was the sorceress, and she would gladly give him her life as long as he kept his word and let the others go free. A deal was struck, her sacrifice made, and the man personally made sure every last living person was gone from the village before burning it to the ground._

"_Into the night the others fled, and the woman with the baby kept her word and loved the child as her own."_

Blinking as the words left her, Kaoru continued to stare at the tree until a soft intake of breath pulled her attention back to the sorceress. There were tears in her eyes, but a mixture of other emotions on her face. "How can you expect me to believe such a story is true? How can you be so cruel as to want me to believe such a fairy tale?"

"But…"

"My baby is dead, along with everyone else in my village. That story is only a that, something to tell a child. Of course it has a happy ending, because sad stories are just not told to children. The truth is never told to children!"

"But…" Needing her to listen, Kaoru reached out a hand to touch her shoulder. "you have to believe me, because…"

"I don't want to hear any more of it." The tears were falling, and she seemed desperate, angry, irrational. "My old heart cannot take such abuse."

"Please." A flicker warped the outline of her appearance, and although Kaoru was unsure where the knowledge came from, she knew without a doubt that the woman was about to disappear. Jumping forward quickly, she wrapped both arms around her shoulders and held her tight. Tomoe struggled, but Kaoru was by far stronger. "Please, just listen. I thought the same thing, but don't you see all of the similarities? Hisano was your best friend, and she was the only body you could find, right? And how was she killed? Almost in an execution style. Why would he do that to her alone and no one else?"

"Because he was cruel. Look what he did to my Akira." Defeated, torn, and sobbing, she stopped trying to fight.

"I don't have any answer to that, except for his own desperation. By that point I am sure Kenshin was overwhelmed by the pain and sadness and frustration he felt at his inability to do anything to fight his fate. I'm sure it was easy to lose himself to those emotions, and receiving a wound as telling as the one Akira-sama gave to him was more than likely the trigger that set them off." Pausing, Kaoru listened to her cry. "Besides… I have another reason to believe what my mother told me was true."

Shakily, wanting to believe, Tomoe rested her head on the strong shoulders of the girl holding her. "Tell me."

"The village you grew up in, it was named Chisaki, right?" The sorceress nodded. "The name of my mother's village is Shinsaki." Tomoe tensed against her. "New blossoms to replace the old. Shinsaki is just on the other side of the mountain, about a weeks journey from here. Father says it is a beautiful place, with hundreds of cherry trees and many wonderful gardens. Mother's family has always lived there, and the stories are passed down each generation. Every family living there knows the stories of the sorceress and the life of the sorceress' child."

"Her life?" The hope was finally winning in her voice, and Kaoru was grateful.

"Uh-huh." Smiling, Kaoru let go. "The child grew up to be as beautiful and loving as her mother, her powers just as great, and for a time she lived at the emperor's court. It was there that she met her husband, and after they were married, they came back to her hometown, now rebuilt, and lived out the remainder of their lives with their children."

Exhaling heavily, Tomoe repeated the last half of her sentence, her eyes closed. "My baby was alive." White hands came up to cover her face. "He didn't kill my baby."

"No." Joy coming back full force, Kaoru grinned. And then it was her turn to be surprised when the sorceress grabbed her and hugged her fiercely.

"Thank you so much, little girl. You have given me the greatest gift anyone could ever give."

X

Kenshin waved a hand at Tae as she brought out his tray of food. "I will wait for Kaoru-dono."

Pausing, Tae bowed her head, but Koshijirou, sitting on the other side of Kaoru's empty cushion spoke up casually. "Kaoru said something about talking to someone before she came to the table and not to wait. Knowing her it'll probably be late before she gets back, so I'd go ahead and do as she said."

"I do not mind if you wish to go ahead and dine, Kamiya-san." Gesturing for Tae to serve Kaoru's father, Kenshin turned his head away and looked out the open shoji. "But I wish to wait."

Immediately Koshijirou was suspicious, and his mind set to work riffling through every scenario the situation would lead to. Sighing, he shook his head and decided, reluctantly, to let it go. Unfortunately, there was a side of him that did respect the lord, even if he didn't fully trust him, yet.

Tae was looking at him curiously, wondering if she should serve him or if he wished to wait as well, and Koshijirou smiled. "I think I will go ahead and eat. Kaoru already asked for the bath to made ready for me after dinner, and I don't want the water to cool and ruin all that hard work if I wait."

"It would be no trouble to reheat, Kamiya-sama, if you do wish to wait, though."

Shaking his head, he patted the table. "It's alright. Kaoru was rather excited when she left and I doubt that energy will be gone when she comes back. I think I shall let the lord take the full brunt of her enthusiasm while I relax for a change."

Kenshin lifted a brow, but Tae giggled and Koshijirou just smiled. Saying a brief thanks for the meal, Koshijirou dug in as Tae retreated, leaving them alone in the room. Still preoccupied with the view outside, Kenshin ignored the man, his mind playing and replaying Kaoru's attack on him not long before. She was quite enthusiastic, like her father said, and impulsive, as Soujirou said, but Kenshin could not say that he minded. It was that energy and life that he enjoyed so much. And he felt so much better about her actions, now that he knew she had not thrown aside their friendship for the cheetah. In fact, from what he understood, her joy was for the words Soujirou had spoken about him. Just him.

Eyes closing, his smile widened. _You are such an idiot._

"I was thinking about heading home tomorrow afternoon." Lazily Kenshin's attention returned to the present, unwilling to give up on his thoughts so abruptly.

"If you wish, but you are free to stay longer."

Shrugging, Koshijirou sipped at his tea. "But I may come back whenever I want, and I had not planned on staying this long to begin with. I do have my own responsibilities to my students. I can't be gone too long or they will start to wonder."

"Very well… but Kaoru-dono may be sad to see you go."

"I do not think so." Studying the leaves swirling around in his cup, Koshijirou frowned. "At least, not so much now that she knows I may come back often. Besides," Sipping again, he replaced the teacup on the table and picked up his chopsticks. "she has informed me that she is quite happy here."

Pleased, Kenshin was hard pressed to keep his features neutral. "I am glad to hear that."

"Though I am glad that she is happy, I must admit…" Looking up to stare out the door, Koshijirou's voice was carefully low. "I am wary as well." The lighthearted emotions of seconds before faded, and Kenshin could feel that same trap closing in on him. It made him uncomfortable.

"Wary, Kamiya-san?"

Nodding, he continued to stare at the blushing colors of sunset. "Yes. As her father I wish for nothing more than my daughter's happiness, but she is very young and unable to clearly judge all of her decisions yet."

Something bristled in his chest and his own voice dropped an octave. "You are afraid she will make a wrong decision?"

Seemingly unaffected by the implied threat, or ignoring it, Koshijirou sipped some more at his tea. "I am afraid of the possibility, yes, but… if I had your word that you would look out for her, then my mind would be at ease." Blindsided, Kenshin's head pulled back. "You always treat my daughter with great respect, and her happiness seems to be important to you. Since I am not around all the time to watch my daughter, I worry for her. Sometimes she can be very rash, and she still needs guidance every now and again. If it is not too much trouble, I would ask you to promise me you will protect her from herself and others. Kaoru is just much too sweet and caring to deal with dishonor."

Uncertain and feeling as if most of this conversation was meant for him in more ways than just a simple promise, Kenshin let a few seconds pass by before giving the reassurance Kamiya was asking for. "You have my word."

His tone was serious and Koshijirou felt the apprehension strumming his nerves loosen. Letting out the breath he was holding, he thanked whoever was listening for the strength and wisdom to word his fears in a way that did not offend. "Thank you." Stomach churning queasily, he decided against trying to finish off his food. "If you will excuse me." Standing slowly, he tried his damnedest not to rush too quickly out the door and ruin his false composure.

Too involved in his own thoughts to notice anything strange about the father's behavior, Kenshin barely noticed the two kitchen aides come in to clean off the dirty dishes. Darkness crept into the room, the light breeze acquiring a nip, and as the first stars began to appear Kenshin smiled, hearing light footsteps on the walk.

"Kenshin." Surprised, Kaoru stopped in the doorway. "What are you still doing here?"

"I decided to wait. Since we did not get to walk together, I thought we might at least get to dine together."

"You haven't eaten yet?" Walking over to sit down, she glanced at the empty spot on her other side. "What about my father, did he wait too?"

"No. He has already been and gone and I think he said something about soaking in the bath."

"Well." Grinning, her eyes were bright with the enthusiasm Koshijirou had hinted of. "Looks like it's just the two of us."

Smiling, he found he was greatly pleased by the idea. "I guess so."

X

A/N: So I was trying to find an appropriate name for the reborn village, but I was having such a hard time and it was taking too long, that I finally just slapped it together. Since shin means new or fresh, and the saki from Chisaki is a form of saku (I suppose) meaning blossom, I sewed them together and probably created my own word. I apologize if it isn't correct.

Alright, this chapter was fun! From her dad, to the story, to Kaoru almost knocking Kenshin over, and then the talking to. XD Always so fun. I tried to make sure it wasn't a traditional get in the face and lay down the law, because that just wasn't going to work with Kenshin, and Koshijirou knew it. Asking politely and not even insinuating that Kenshin was the one he was worried about dishonoring his little girl was a better way to go about it.

So, yay! Kana lived! But that leaves so much stuff open to play with! I love playing! And Kenshin isn't worried so much about the Soujirou thing. Which is great. Of course, he did just get clobbered by Kaoru right in front of him. Alright, next we get to see a little of Dad's life, a sneaking shadow, and some more mommy stuff. Of course, there's always room for development between our ignorant couple. Leave a review, and I'll see you all soon!


	30. Shadows and Hidden Paintings

So, everyone has some theories going, but I guess you'll all have to wait to see. I'm actually really excited about everyone's reaction. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, and for those of you who wanted a little more progression, here we go.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me. This includes all of the characters and whatnot.

**Chapter 30: Shadows and Hidden Paintings**

Kazuki stopped, his dark eyes swinging to the door of the training hall. Focused, intent, his brow furrowed as he tried to penetrate the darkness of the trees. Something was out there. He didn't know how he knew, but whatever it was made his stomach uneasy.

"Hey! Pay attention!"

Ducking and wincing, Kazuki cradled a hand to the crown of his head, his black irises darting back to his brother. "What did you do that for?"

"Master left me in charge, idiot. So I have to keep both of you in line while he's visiting his daughter." Bringing his wooden practice sword back down on top of Kazuki's head one more time, Haruki continued reasonably. "Besides, we were sparring, little brother. Of course you're going to get hit once in awhile. Especially if you're not paying attention." Smacking him again, he laughed when Kazuki growled.

"Stop it!"

"Make me."

Throwing down his own sword, Kazuki launched himself forward and tackled his older brother to the ground.

"Come on, you guys. Master would be less than pleased!" Anxious and perhaps a bit embarrassed by their immature actions, Ren stood at the far end of the hall, his kata forgotten. "You were supposed to be learning to control your anger, not give into it!" Arms hanging limp by his sides, Ren huffed irritably, and came hesitantly closer. "If you don't stop I'll tell Aunt Oka on the both of you!"

"Oh, shut up!" Both brothers yelling at the same time, they each reached out a hand and grabbed his ankles, flipping him onto his back before resuming their wrestling match. Grunting and gasping for breath, Ren blinked dazedly at the ceiling before allowing his head to roll limply to the side. Outside the sun was low on the horizon, reflecting here and there off the high canopy of the forest. Beneath the trees were dark shadows full of ominous foreboding. It made him uncomfortable.

"So you noticed too?"

Jumping, Ren looked over to his cousins, surprised that he had not noticed the lull in their fighting. Still sprawled on the floor like him, Kazuki jerked his head at the open door. "There's something out there." Sitting up on the other side of him, Haruki stared blatantly out the opening.

"Is that what I've been feeling?"

"Don't act all superior now, big brother. You're only saying that because you're supposed to be in charge."

Making a face as his only reply, Haruki stood to his feet. "Do you think we should see what it is?"

"Definitely." Grabbing up his wooden sword, Kazuki followed his brother out the door.

"I don't know, you guys. Maybe we should wait for the master." Scurrying to catch up, Ren whispered his concern. "What if it's someone wanting to challenge the dojo?"

"Grow a backbone, you baby. It's probably just a wild animal or something."

"Yeah, and even if it is a challenger, are you just going to lay down and let him take over without a fight?"

"No!"

"Shh!"

"And what are you three up to?"

Recoiling in unison, Haruki overbalanced, knocked into Kazuki, who elbowed Ren, causing the smallest one to land yet again on the floor.

"Master!"

Sighing, Koshijirou bent to offer a hand to his youngest student. "I was hoping to find my pupils diligently working on the assignments I left them with when I came back, not playing like children."

"But Master, we weren't playing." Earnestly trying to correct him, Haruki stepped forward. "There's something out in the woods."

"He's right, Master, I felt something earlier."

"I felt it first." Straightening, Haruki puffed out his chest.

"You did not." Smacking him in the gut, Kazuki scowled.

"I did to."

Closing his eyes and searching for patience as the brothers once again started arguing, Koshijirou glanced down at Ren when he tugged softly at his sleeve. "Master, I felt it too, and… it's still there." Lifting his sword, he pointed out across the yard. Smiling, Koshijirou was glad he had acquired at least one levelheaded student, even if the boy was just a bit too timid.

"I know, Ren. I can feel it, too."

Quieting abruptly, Kazuki and Haruki jerked their heads up to look at their master. Fight forgotten, they each gripped their practice swords and frowned. "What do we do?"

Nodding, Koshijirou showed approval of their actions. "First we must determine what kind of threat is there before we make any move against it. Does this make sense to all of you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good." Stepping to the edge of the porch, Koshijirou raised his voice. "Come on out, boy. Hiding is for cowards and criminals."

Laughter echoed within the dense enclosure of foliage. It was cold and selfish and Koshijirou could feel Ren waver next to him. Placing a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder, he steadied him for the confrontation. "How did you know it was me, old man?"

Lip curling, Koshijirou tried hard not to spit the bile from his mouth. "I've known you too long to forget your twisted, cruel energy, Enishi."

Soft rustling preceded the appearance of the intruder, the darkness cloaking him as he stepped out into the clearing. Tall and somehow graceful, he leaned back into the nearest tree, his teeth abruptly white when he grinned. "Such harsh words from my old master. You wound me." Uncrossing his arms, the katana at his waist shifted slightly, catching a faint ray of light. One hand reaching for the glasses covering his eyes, he slid the dark lenses down his nose to peek green irises over the top. "If I were a weaker man I might be offended beyond consolation."

"If you were a stronger man you would find no offense in hearing the truth."

"Still preaching your nonviolent views to a world that doesn't care?"

"Still using your strength for your own gain?"

Laughing again, Enishi pushed off from the tree and stepped closer. "Of course, what other way is there to use strength, really? Which reminds me." Green eyes sweeping over the three standing behind Koshijirou, he lifted a dark brow as if in question. "Where's Kaoru? I've been gone for so long, I was looking forward to seeing my betrothed."

"Your betrothal to my daughter was ended over two years ago, Enishi. Your right to know anything about her ended then."

Something foul contorted Enishi's features, his hand grasping the hilt of his katana. Behind him Koshijirou could feel his three disciples preparing themselves to defend. "I never agreed to that. Kaoru was meant to be mine." Blade shining threateningly as he pulled it slightly from its sheath, Enishi's voice became demanding. "Now, you will bring her out to me, or I will be forced to make you."

Slowly placing a hand on his own weapon, Koshijirou had no intention of replying when the older of the brothers spoke up angrily. "Kaoru-san doesn't live here anymore."

Following his brother's lead, Kazuki fed fire to the conversation. "Yeah, she's already married and living elsewhere, so just shut up and go away."

Feeling a surge of irritation at their impatience and loose tongues, Koshijirou shot each of them a look. Ducking, they dropped their eyes to the walk. The quiet that followed was extended and heavy, and when Koshijirou finally looked back to Enishi he found the boy frighteningly still.

"Is that true, old man? Did you marry off my woman to someone else while I was gone?"

Grumbling low in his throat, Koshijirou chose his words carefully. "It is true Kaoru is no longer under my care. Her protection now belongs to a man that commands more strength and honor that you ever could."

"Is that so?" Eyes narrowing, the hand on his katana shook. "And where does this man live? Tell me, for I greatly wish to test his strength for myself."

"Save yourself the shame of defeat, Enishi. You would stand no chance against him. And besides, what prize would you seek to claim from such a duel? You know my daughter has no love for you."

"Her love does not interest me, old man. It is her fire that I want. Such strength would be a benefit to my family."

Anger inserted itself over the calm Koshijirou was trying desperately to hold onto, wishing to deal with this nuisance civilly, and yet wanting to soundly whip him and send him home like he used to. To speak of his daughter as if she were just some breeding mare was too much. Kaoru deserved to be loved, not broken. "You will leave sight of my house now, boy, before I lose my temper."

Though the rage on Enishi's features did not falter, he did shift back a step, speaking of his wariness. Growling, he shouted across the yard. "Tell me his name and I'll leave."

"Get out." Voice low with warning, Koshijirou stepped forward.

Taking another step back, Enishi snorted. "Is he really just a coward? Have you built him up to be some great samurai when he is really nothing more than a weakling that _she _protects?"

"Don't make me tell you again, boy."

Shifting his attention to the three students, Enishi lifted an eyebrow. "Well? What do you three think? Is this man your master speaks of so highly really just a coward? Do you think he would appreciate being protected by his father-in-law? If he had any honor at all he would face me openly in battle and not hide behind others."

Having learned their lesson, they simply glared back. Finding no help from them, Enishi huffed condescendingly. "I guess your master didn't think you were important enough to inform? Or perhaps he just doesn't have a name. Perhaps my Kaoru isn't married at all, merely hidden away, waiting for me to come find her."

"Give it up, Enishi. It is not your name that she speaks."

Growing impatient with the word bantering, Enishi snarled. "Then tell me the name that she does."

"Come on, Master. What difference does it make if he knows his name?"

Ren's whisper spoke of his unease, and Koshijirou sighed. Perhaps it would make no difference… and perhaps it would make all the difference in the world. Whatever way, Koshijirou couldn't shake the apprehension he felt. "His name is Kenshin, now be gone."

"Just Kenshin?" Laughing at the tightness on his old master's face, Enishi turned to walk away. "Very well, it's enough anyway." _Enough to find him, and end him._

X

Kaoru sat next to Kenshin in his office, only half-listening to the audience he was holding, her mind adrift in other thoughts. Shortly after her father had left for home, she had gone back to visit Tomoe. The excitement of learning about her daughter and the villagers had overshadowed everything else, and in the process she had forgotten to ask the sorceress a very important question. One that had been weighing on her mind every since learning of the curse.

Now that everything was once again clear and calm, Kaoru wanted to know what Tomoe had not told her. A way to break the spell. After the initial shock, Kaoru had been told to let herself accept everything that she had learned and decide just how she felt about it. Task accomplished, she wanted to know what needed to be done next. Because she still felt the same as she had before, she still wanted to help Kenshin and everyone else to be free of their restrictions and longing.

It seemed, however, that Tomoe's curse was a bit more complicated to break than a simple charm. It was going to take time. Time they were quickly running out of, and it frustrated Kaoru that Tomoe was acting so very nonchalant about that fact. She knew Tomoe wanted to break the curse just as much, if not more, than Kaoru did, so she did not suspect her of stalling. Even still, Tomoe's plan was much too time consuming for Kaoru's liking.

"_This must be handled very delicately, Kaoru-chan."_

"_Why's that?"_

_Smiling, Tomoe petted her hair. "I have had a very long time to study this curse of mine, and I'm afraid my haste in casting it has created a very specific method for breaking it. It is the very reason why spells need to be as vague as possible."_

"_Oh. Ok, so what do we need to do first."_

_Amused with her enthusiasm and determination, Tomoe sat back, her eyes crinkling. After learning of her daughter, Tomoe had taken to smiling much more than before. "For now, child, what you need to do is very simple. I want you to focus your attention on Lord Himura. This tree may be what holds all of the power behind the curse, but he is the receptacle that it pours into."_

"_Alright…" Unsure what was supposed to happen because of her attention, she pursed her lips. "but what good is that going to do?"_

"_My dear, you have done a wonderful job helping him to see those around him, to care for others and acknowledge his emotions. All you need to do now is show him more. Show him how to live. Teach him that it's okay to truly care. Help him to be truly happy."_

"_That's it?"_

_Nodding, Tomoe's smile pulled slightly downward. "It may sound very simple for you, but this is very important. Not many people know how to be truly happy."_

"_Right."_

"_Just relax, Kaoru-chan, and act normally. Everything will fall into place soon enough."_

Letting out a breath, Kaoru rolled her eyes. _Act normal, she says. How can I do that when she specifically told me that this needs to be handled delicately? If I was to describe myself, delicate would be the last thing that came to mind._ Blinking out of her daze, she smiled at the egret standing across from her. Shigure, she was certain was his name, and he tended to the gardens. _Why did Kenshin need to see him again?_ Shaking her head, the obvious answer came two seconds after the question. _Because it's spring and the gardens are blooming, you idiot. Hmm… gardens. Should I see if Kenshin wants to take a walk sometime? Seeing the flowers might help accomplish whatever it is I'm supposed to be helping him to do._ Frustrated, she pouted. _This is ridiculous! What good are flowers going to do?_

Curious of the wide range of emotions pulling at the different muscles of Kaoru's face, Kenshin tried not to smile, but found it much too hard. Giving his attention back to Shigure, Kenshin nodded his head at his report.

"You have my permission to recruit as many new hands as you need, as long as they are willing."

"Thank you very much, my lord." Bowing regally, the egret glanced sideways at Kaoru, his eyes suspiciously bright. "If I may, my lord, I have calculated that tomorrow will be the peak for the trees. Since the lady has not seen our gardens in full bloom, I think she would find it very pleasing to see the different phases."

Starting, Kaoru's eyes widened, and then she blushed, wondering how the egret had read her mind so easily. Taking the look as one of delight, Kenshin nodded. "A good idea, Shigure-san." Mouth opening, Kaoru stuttered incoherently while Kenshin spoke over her. "You did say you wished to see the trees in bloom, did you not, Kaoru-dono? If you are free tomorrow, and as long as the weather permits, we shall fulfill that wish."

Blush darkening, she gave up trying to talk and dropped her eyes to her lap. "Okay."

Nuzzling his beak under a wing to scratch at a ruffled feather, Shigure hid his amusement and then graciously took his leave. "I still need to check on the far eastern gardens before nightfall." Bowing his head to Kenshin, he turned to repeat the respectful action to Kaoru. "I wish you a good evening, my lady, and I hope you enjoy your walk through the gardens tomorrow."

"T-thank you." Flustered, and unsure exactly why, Kaoru watched him hop down into the hallway, and then looked up at Kenshin as he stood and stretched.

"Come along, my lady." Offering a hand, Kenshin helped her up. "We are late for our evening meal."

They caught up to Shigure just outside the tsumado, but before they could all go their separate ways they were stopped by a beautiful, white swan. Heading Shigure off as he tried to round the corner, the swan fluffed its wings, startled, and then froze. For several long seconds, the graceful creature did nothing more than blink, a look darting to Kenshin before her eyes locked onto the egret and stayed.

"Shigure-san…"

For a moment the egret seemed confused, at a loss, but then his body straightened and he swept out a wing. "Toki?" Ducking her long neck in embarrassment, Toki nodded. Surprised, Shigure stepped closer, his voice warmer. "It's been such a long time."

"Y-yes… yes it has." Soft and timid, her smooth voice breathed back.

"How have you been?" There was note of sadness in his tone, genuine concern, and something else that was unreadable.

Hesitating, Toki looked away. "Fine, Shigure-san…" Dark eyes coming back to him, her voice gained strength of certainty. "My brother has missed you. You should visit him sometime."

Suddenly uncomfortable, Shigure glanced behind him at the lord and lady. "I doubt he would wish to see me." Bowing his head, he stepped to the side. "I am glad to see you are well, Toki-san. Perhaps I will see you later, so that we may catch up."

"Well, I…"

"I'm sure you wished to speak with the master, and I have duties that need my attention." Already past her and heading around the corner, Toki extended a wing after him.

"But…"

Clearing his throat, Kenshin grabbed her attention, Shigure stopping to peek around the corner in case he wished to address him as well. "Was there something you need to discuss with me, Toki-san?"

Reluctant to let Shigure go, she looked between the two. "Yes, my lord…" Pausing with her mouth open, Toki closed it slowly and tilted her head to the side. "I mean…" Gasping in a quick breath, she blinked, was silent for a long space of time, and then exhaled. "I'm sorry, my lord, but… I seem to have forgotten."

Kaoru bit her lip and tried hard not to giggle. Shigure, on the other hand, was unable to help his own amusement. Mortified, Toki hid her head underneath one large wing and apologized in a small, soft voice.

Feeling uncharacteristically upset with her humiliation, Kenshin frowned. Toki reminded him a lot of his mother, and a protective part of him wished to defend her. "I'm sure you have much on your mind, Toki-san. Whatever it was must not have been important, and therefore should not be worried over. You will no doubt remember later, and I promise to listen then."

"Thank you."

Following Kenshin's lead, Kaoru added. "I'm sure you were merely surprised to find an old acquaintance, right, Toki-san? Everything else must have gone right out of your head." Lifting a brow at Shigure's still lurking presence, Kaoru decided it was time to get him back. "Perhaps a walk through the gardens might help clear your mind. You should see if Shigure-san will take you with him."

Soft chuckles dying off, Shigure stared at the lady, and then looked down at the beautiful swan. Watching as she shifted uncomfortably for a couple of seconds, he finally nodded slowly. "A wonderful idea, Lady Kaoru." Holding out a wing in imitation of offering a hand, the egret bowed his head. "If you are free this evening, Toki-san, would you care to join me?"

Instantly forgetting all of her annoyance and embarrassment, Toki nodded eagerly. "Oh yes. I would love that." Soft voice sounding even more breathless, she followed him off down the veranda.

Watching them go, Kaoru smiled and shook her head. "I've noticed quite a lot of that recently."

Curious, Kenshin's brow furrowed. "Noticed what, my lady?"

Continuing as if she hadn't heard him, which was likely, Kenshin conceded, Kaoru tilted her head thoughtfully. "Of course, it is spring, I guess." Features dropping, she slapped a hand to her face and groaned. "I did not just say that out loud."

"I'm sorry, my lady?"

"Never mind." Grabbing his hand, Kaoru dragged him towards the dining hall. "Come on, I'm starving."

X

Smiling, Kaoru shook her head as his complaining finally stopped. She didn't know why Kenshin was so adverse to her brushing his hair, but she basically had to threaten him to get the chance. He could, obviously, brush it himself, but he always just left it hanging, free and wild down his back. While fine when he was sleeping, he looked quite disheveled during the day.

It was late, warm, and comfortable in his room, a single candle glowing proudly in the corner. After their baths, Kaoru had helped Kenshin with the ties on his yukata, and then followed him to his room, arguing the entire way. The hour probably had much to do with his resistance, the impropriety of her presence in his quarters no doubt a bad stain on her reputation. Kaoru rolled her eyes. She had been in his rooms this late before, so she didn't know why he was being so contrary about it. Sliding the brush down his back and to the tips of his long hair, it snagged gently on the collar of his sleeping robe and the base of his wings. It didn't take long for his hair to lay tame and smooth, but Kaoru continued, the motion hypnotic.

A small part of her didn't want to leave. She liked being near him, and she wasn't really sleepy yet, anyway. Even if they weren't talking, the friendship they shared made the atmosphere relaxed and calming. After all they had been through, their bond was much stronger than before; their laughter easier, their smiles warmer, their talks longer. It was the best feeling in the world, knowing she had someone she was so close to. Which was why her emotions were a bit conflicted.

It had all started the same day their friendship had been renewed, the same day her father had visited. At the time, she had ignored it, because too many other happenings had demanded her immediate attention. It wasn't until a few days later, after her father had left, did she even allow herself to think about it. It had all happened so fast, so abruptly, that all of her emotions had tangled, knotted, and then burst apart, leaving her disoriented and breathless; confused. One thought had stood out above the rest, however, ruling her reaction and words. Joy. Innocent, naïve, blinding joy for the arms wrapped around her and the words of promise spoken in her ear.

Joy for the relief it gave him, for the show of appreciation, for the progress of their relationship. He cared enough to worry about how she thought of him, how she felt about him, felt comfortable enough to want comfort from her. Comfort she would gladly offer, freely, whenever he wished. Comfort he had not taken advantage of again.

The touch of disappointment spearing her heart only added to her confusion. The only other time they had embraced was when her overzealous glee had thrown her into his chest and nearly knocked him over. Still slightly embarrassed, Kaoru ducked her head, but kept brushing, the wet strands drying slowly. She knew she could get overexcited, but she had wanted to show her own appreciation to him. How was she to know that her brief hug was going to cause such a stir?

Inwardly, she conceded, not out. It was that second time that brought forth other observations besides just joy to the forefront of her attention. Like the anxious flutter in her stomach, trembling there long after she had jumped away, the one quick inhale of his scent still lodged in her nostrils. It was crazy! How could something so small cause such a reaction? It wasn't like his scent was anything different or new. He just smelled like soap, sharp and clean.

And yet, it was more than just the way he smelled. Everything else was just so twisted she couldn't name them all. If she had the chance to experience them again, then maybe she would figure them out, too, but therein lay the problem. A vague warning in her mind spoke of the intimacy in the action. Perhaps it was the very reason Kenshin had not tried to hug her again. Then again, perhaps he didn't want to at all. Fear of rejection was eating at her stomach, a desire to experience quivering her heart, and dread that her actions might harm their friendship stirred up doubt in her mind.

A recurring argument disagreed, and she sighed. Immediately after their first hug, just before her father had interrupted, he seemed willing, intent even, on making sure the occurrence happened again. This time, though, his actions were slower, but his intentions were not quite as clear. Lightly, his clawed hand had touched her arm, sending a shot of anticipation like a spike through her chest. It had turned quickly into guilt after hearing her father's voice, and Kenshin's touch had withdrawn, but the disappointment on his face had been obvious.

_And you know how he is. It takes divine intervention just to get him to do, say, or show something that he wants for himself._

Biting her lip, Kaoru let the brush slip from his hair one last time and put it aside. The red mane was almost completely dry, and she briefly wondered how long she had sat there, contemplating the simple mechanisms of a hug. Absently smoothing a hand down the soft strands, she curiously leaned closer, letting the smell of them reach her nose. It was the same scent of soap, the same flutter of emotion in her stomach. _Argh! I feel like a pervert!_ Closing her eyes and scowling, she argued with herself for a moment before opening them again. Leaning closer to his back, she twitched as his hair tickled her face, smiling to suppress her giggle. Glancing up to see if he had moved, she cautiously rested her cheek against him.

Lightly at first, she enjoyed the warmth he was exuding. When he didn't protest, she scooted closer and leaned more weight against him, one hand stroking the hair in front of her face. The new atmosphere was drugging, forcing her eyelids to droop, and she experienced a more intense sense of comfort and safety. Her heart warmed, the anxious fluttering in her stomach quelled, and the rest of the world seemed far away; insignificant. Hearing no complaint from his mouth, feeling no tension in his muscles, Kaoru smiled lazily and wrapped her arms fully around his torso.

It was wonderful, and she eagerly wondered what it would be like to have him hugging her back. Pushing her cheek into the warmth of his hair, she tightened her grip, almost giddily happy that he wasn't even trying to object. In fact, his breathing hadn't even quickened, nor his heartbeat. Blinking, just a bit putout, she frowned, and then opened her mouth in surprise. It couldn't be. Letting go carefully, she crawled around the drape of one wing and looked expectantly upon his face. A face relaxed completely in sleep.

_He fell asleep… while I was brushing his hair._ Undeniably disappointed, Kaoru still couldn't help her giggle this time. _Idiot. Of course he wasn't coherent, or he would have definitely been protesting._ Rolling her eyes, Kaoru smiled, brushed at the bangs covering his face, then looked around for his futon. The least she could do was help him into bed. It was folded neatly in a corner, though it did have a light layer of dust coating it. Unsure what that meant, Kaoru picked it up and brought it back to his seated figure.

Unfolding it in front of him, Kaoru hesitated, before gently encouraging him to lay down. Mostly asleep, but willing, it seemed, to be manipulated, he woke up enough to climb onto the mattress before falling back into unconsciousness. Partially laying on his side and stomach, his wings spread wide to either side of him, he looked rather cute as his tail twitched once or twice before laying still. Tearing her eyes away from him, she searched next for a blanket.

Frowning when she couldn't find one in his room, she stood and opened the shoji that led to the smaller inner room. Carrying the candle with her, she was surprised to find the room cluttered and overrun by all types of knickknacks and expensive looking objects. From jewelry boxes, to boxes of silk, one or two statues of gold, carvings made out of ivory and jade, rich paintings, and then more everyday things, like his clothes and the extra blankets she was searching for were stacked against the walls.

Bypassing the riches, Kaoru reached for the top blanket. It was warm now, but she knew the later it got, the colder it was going to become. Picking it up with her one free hand, she muttered when it snagged on a large scroll shoved up next to it, pulling it free from its perch and throwing it on the ground. Making sure she didn't lose sight of it, Kaoru knelt and sat down the blanket to free a hand for the scroll. Loose and missing a tie to hold it closed, the scroll was partially unrolled, forcing her to sit down the candle as well. Flickering light illuminated the colors of whatever was painted onto the surface as she picked it up, and she tilted her head at finding that she was staring at the bottom half of two people.

One was wearing a kimono, so it was obviously a women, the other was a man, because of the hakama he wore. It took only a moment for her to recognize where they were, the railing and pond telling of the larger open pavilion. Curious now, as the only human portrait she had seen was of Tae, she slowly unrolled the painting all the way.

Instantly her eyes were drawn to the woman, and she gasped, seeing herself, smiling, happy as she pointed at whatever had grabbed her attention in the water. It was undeniably her, from her features, to her blue eyes, even though she was painted with her hair down and she wore an extravagant court kimono. It was beautifully done, detailed, and realistic, even capturing the delight on her face. Abruptly curious, confused, and anxious, her eyes swung to the hand holding her own, then upwards to the face of the man.

For a moment, she could not say she recognized him at all, but then, no one living at the palace looked human anymore. Except, she did know, because no one else had hair as red as his, or those golden eyes, and, since this was no doubt painted after she had arrived at the palace to stay, no one else would be holding her hand so familiarly. Staring, taking in every little detail, Kaoru was a little shocked. _Is that what Kenshin really looks like?_ Holding the painting back, she fought a smile and lost. _He's really handsome._ Suddenly frowning, she pulled it closer.

Handsome he was, but what was he doing with a painting like this, hidden inside his rooms? Why hadn't he showed it to her before? What did it mean? Eyes coming back to rest once more on his face, her frown lightened into uncertainty. The look he wore was a combination of tender amusement and warm affection. He was happy to be there, happy to be with her, and the curl of his fingers around her own spoke of the close relationship they shared. There was something more to it, though. This painting did not depict two friends. The expression on his face was clearly of a man in love.

For a moment it made her chest ache with longing. How wonderful it would be to be loved so completely.

In the next moment, she wondered if he felt the same way when he looked upon the painting.

Shuffling from the other room caused her to start, and she guiltily rolled up the scroll and stuffed it back into its hiding place. Scooping up the blanket and candle, she tiptoed to the door, but found that he had merely shifted in his sleep. Sighing, shaken, Kaoru took a second to calm her breathing before walking fully into the room. Carefully placing the candle back in the corner, she shook out the blanket to cover him.

Seated next to him as she tucked in his shoulders as best she could, her hand drifted to his face to comb back his bangs with her fingers. She could see much of his original characteristics now in the features before her, and she was happy to realize that she had known he was handsome even before seeing the painting. After all, it wasn't the way he looked that made him beautiful, it was his actions that made her care for him so deeply.

Suddenly wistful, she lightly brushed a thumb underneath his closed eye, letting his lashes sweep across her skin. _I wonder if he'll ever really look at me like that._

X

A/N: So, first off… Enishi's back! And he doesn't seem to be too happy about Kaoru getting married off to someone else… not that he could know she's not really married, but he'll still get a fight if he comes looking for one. And looking seems to be exactly what he's going to do. Though, I'm sure the last thing he expects is for her to be living in the palace.

Next, Kaoru gets to deal with trying to go along with Tomoe's plan to break the curse, without knowing exactly what it is she is trying to accomplish, since Tomoe didn't tell her everything. XP Sounds interesting… oh and a few of the other couples seem to be getting together. That was just a small plug of mine, since I did want to do a few other couples, but find they're not really relevant to the story, so I have no excuse to fuse them in. So anyway, Shigure and Toki are the couple that didn't quite get together from the Rurouni Kenshin movie, the same one with Musashino. And, if you haven't watched the movie don't read the rest of this sentence… but I hated the fact that Shigure died. It was a bunch of crap. So here they are, happy, alive, and getting together. Yay!

And last but not least, Kaoru found the painting! And is drawing some conclusions, and now she's suspicious. Wohoo! We might be getting somewhere!

Anyway, please review, and in the next chapter, we get to go on a nice walk, and perhaps some other things. -wink-


	31. A Gentle Spring Breeze

Enishi, Enishi… what will we ever do with you? XP I'm glad everyone liked the last chapter, and now that we know there is some danger looming in the background, let's continue to cheer on our stubborn and clumsy couple. Wohoo!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned many things. Spring would be one of them, and I'd make it a year round thing.

**Chapter 31: A Gentle Spring Breeze**

The hollow thud of something knocking on wood jerked Kenshin out of his slumber, his heavy eyelids lifting reluctantly even as the rest of his body pushed him a few spaces off the bedding. Senses swimming and sluggish, he blinked in an incomprehensive daze at the mattress below him, wondering, briefly, just where he was. As silence resumed and his muscles relaxed from the initial shock, he recalled the warmth and comfort of sleep and thought of how wonderful it would be just to fall swiftly back into it. Did it really matter where he was?

Another knock and his brain decided to recognize the sound. Someone was at his door. Surely it was too early for anyone to need his attention or assistance. If he was still in bed then he doubted the sun was even up. Muttering, he knew he needed to answer, in case there was some kind of emergency, but the hazy film that divided him from the real world refused to lift. A part of him was happy to let it stay.

Adrift in his fuzzy world of muffled sounds and lazy sensations, he heard laughter; light, amused, and carefree. Lips twitching in answer, he curled himself a little further together, one wing draping over his face and arm, pocketing him inside that world he was enjoying. Sinking, forgetting or, more likely, ignoring the presence of someone outside, he was too secure to appreciate his vulnerability. His father would have been disappointed.

The passing thought only pleased him, and his half-born grin grew into a smirk. Much too content to burrow back into his bedclothes now, the small spark of rebellion perhaps ten centuries too late, he didn't even hear the person enter until soft breath ghosted over his wing. Even then he only twitched in mild irritation.

"_Kenshin."_

The voice, _her_ voice, called to him through the barrier that separated them, coaxing him closer to wakefulness than the polite knock had. _Kaoru…_ She giggled, and though her laughter was closer it was muted, as if purposefully restrained. A niggling sense in the back of his mind warned of suspicious activity, but there was no tinge of danger to accompany it, so he felt no worry.

"_Keen-shiin."_

Drawn out and singsong, she urged him to wake up, clearly amused, her muffled giggles much like the last half of a happy purr. There was still no real incentive for him to come into consciousness, however, and he instead smiled lazily and ducked further under the wing hiding him. The nagging of caution in his mind continued.

"_Come on, Kenshin, you need to wake up."_ Mumbling a disjointed refusal, he pressed his nose into the futon. Light, but insistent, her touch curled around the edge of his wing and drew it carefully downward. A deep breath pulled into her lungs, and then urgency and shock suddenly entered her voice, breaking sharply through his stupor. "Kenshin! What are you doing in my room?"

Golden eyes snapped open and his equilibrium flipped, dumping him fully into reality. Confused and partially frightened by the accusation, Kenshin jerked himself up quickly, his eyes darting back and forth to solidify the truth of her claim. Apprehension quickened his heart, his actions slightly frantic, and it took him a few seconds longer than needed to realize that he was in his own room and not hers. Breath huffing in exasperated relief, he fixed his eyes on her and frowned as she giggled in delight. Mischief was dancing in her sapphire irises and she seemed to be having too much fun at his expense.

"Sorry." She didn't look to be the least bit sincere. "But you were being stubborn about waking up." Deep eyes looking him up and down, her grin turned affectionate and she laughed softer. "You were really sleeping hard, weren't you?" Lifting a hand, she finger-combed his bangs, wincing with him as she snagged a few knots. "You've got the most wonderful case of bed-head."

Trying to duck her helping hand, he shielded his head with his own fingers and scooted back a little further. "I won't have any hair at all if you don't leave it alone." Scratching at the spot she had pulled, his eyes fell half-closed as the burst of adrenaline her wake-up call had induced wore off. His sleep must have definitely been deep, the pain in his left ear and the heaviness in his limbs were telling signs. Briefly he glanced over the open futon he was now sitting on, wondering how in the world he had gotten into the thing. He never slept lying down anymore.

Not in the least offended by his grumpy declaration, Kaoru just smiled and shrugged. Blinking, catching his bearings, and still trying to wake up, Kenshin yawned and sat up a little straighter. "What are you doing in here anyway, Kaoru-dono? Don't you think it's a bit early?" An affectionate voice in his mind whispered of her childlike eagerness. _We are to walk through the gardens today. She must have been so excited she couldn't wait._ Heart warmed, and more than amused, his lips pulled upward on a smile.

"Early?" Laughing again, Kaoru shifted her weight forward onto her knees and rolled smoothly to her feet. "Kenshin, Tae-san served breakfast over an hour ago."

Kenshin watched in astonishment as she stepped down into the hallway and bent to pick up a tray of food. When understanding finally dawned on him, it was slow and incredulous. "I slept in?"

"Yep." Grinning, she settled the tray in front of him. "Everyone was debating on whether to wake you earlier, but since you're spending the whole day with me, I told them to let you sleep." Untangling the blanket twisted around his feet, she stood to neatly fold it and place it in the corner. "You must have really needed the extra sleep, and anyway, I don't want you exhausted before we've even gone anywhere today."

A bit surprised that he even could sleep in, and that he had done it while lying down, Kenshin picked up the chopsticks laying on the tray. He was still confused on how he had ended up in the futon, a startled part of his mind hoping Kaoru had nothing to do with it, but was distracted from his unease when she started digging through his belongings and came up with the brush. Again.

Glaring, he instantly protested. "Haven't you done enough damage to my hair already?"

"Oh, don't be such a grouch. I'm just going to braid it for you real quick while you eat."

Giving in reluctantly, Kenshin tried to ignore her as he ate, but as with every other time, the rhythmic pull of the brush loosened every muscle in his body. Too soon the light chopsticks in his hand were heavy and the effort it took to chew his food arduous. As his eyelids fluttered he experienced a vague notion of déjà vu. This same thing had happened the night before, and he had fallen completely asleep with her in the room.

The brushing stopped and he fought his way out of the lethargy to continue eating before she noticed. Only force of habit and the discipline of a thousand years helped him to pull off his indifference. Even then he found himself curious of the hand that stroked down his back and lingeringly twirled a lock around her fingers. A quick glance caught a strange look on her face, not exactly sad, not exactly thoughtful, but preoccupied and not in the present. It briefly worried him.

"Kaoru-dono?" Slowly her eyes met his, her hand still tangled in his hair. "Is everything alright?"

Like the sun breaking through the clouds, a smile lit her face. "Of course, silly." Sitting up straighter, she signaled for him to turn his head and carefully parted his hair to braid. "I suppose I'm just jealous." Sighing in overexaggerated despondency, she deftly wove the strands together.

"Of what?" Confused all over again, Kenshin was successfully sidetracked. A talent Kaoru was becoming quite adept at.

"Your hair, of course. It's not fair for a man to have such pretty hair. And in such a vibrant color, too. I bet Kamatari's always been green with envy."

Rolling his eyes, Kenshin grumbled. "That peacock likes anything flashy."

Kaoru giggled, winding the tie around the end of his braid. "Did Kamatari like your brothers too, you know, because of their red hair?"

"How would I know?"

Shrugging, Kaoru let the braid drop. "I just thought he might have had a little romance going on with that one brother of yours. You know, the one that preferred men."

Shocked, he inhaled sharply and gagged on whatever was in his mouth, chocking harshly to dislodge the small piece of food from his wind pipe. Kaoru's voice sounded worried as she pounded him on the back, but even after the larger piece finally disappeared something tickled his throat and kept him coughing. Reaching blindly for his teacup, he gulped down a large swallow and tried not to hack it back up.

Attempting to catch his breath, he looked over at Kaoru as she scooted beside him, his golden eyes scandalized. "Where did you hear something like that?"

Puzzled, Kaoru blinked and tilted her head. "Megumi-sensei told me. Is it not true?"

Frowning, he pushed the tray away from him and stood. "It's true. I just don't think it very appropriate for her to be telling you such things."

"Why not?" Shrugging, Kaoru watched him from the floor. "I don't see how it's much different than knowing Sanosuke likes women." Unsure how to react, Kenshin retreated through the divider door to his second room and disappeared inside, one hand flat over his face. "I was just curious anyway. Since it's not as typical, I bet it's hard to find someone else you really like that feels the same way." Sighing as she heard the truth of her own words, she looked blindly at the screen paintings next to her. "Of course… I guess that's true with everybody."

There was a slightly resigned note in her voice, interwoven with a touch of longing he was accustomed to hearing, just not from her. Brow wrinkling, he peeked around the edge of the open shoji, studying the features now turned away from him. For a moment, she looked troubled, her thoughts much too old for her young frame. He did not like it. Wishing to distract her, he grudgingly continued their conversation. "Kamatari did not like Isamu."

Attention brought back to the present, Kaoru stood as well, but frowned. "Isamu was your brother, right?" He nodded and disappeared again, the door sliding closed between them as he changed. "Well, why not?" Bending, Kaoru moved the tray so she could put away the futon.

"First of all, Isamu kept his head shaved, so the only way you could tell he even had red hair like the rest of us was because of his facial hair."

Catching on, Kaoru grinned. "And I'm betting Kamatari does not like facial hair."

Growling under his breath, Kenshin jerked on his kimono a little too roughly. "How would I know?"

Sadistically pleased that she could get him so worked up, Kaoru smothered a giggle. "Alright, and secondly?"

Hesitating, Kenshin knotted the tie of his hakama. "Isamu's temperament… was not kind."

Kaoru unconsciously pouted. "You mean… he wasn't gentle."

A muscle twitched on Kenshin's face, slightly disturbed with the conversation and displeased that it was taking place at all. "No, he wasn't." Many of Isamu's personal servants were always bruised and marked. The sight had always turned over something foul in his stomach.

Picking at her necklace, Kaoru bit her lip, saddened. However, a sudden, passing thought twitched her mouth into a smile. _"Gentle hands mean a gentle heart." Kenshin is gentle… that is why you like him, right Kamatari?_

Sliding the shoji open, Kenshin watched Kaoru look up with a smile, her necklace dropping to her chest. Unwillingly, he smiled back, glad that she no longer wore that look of despondency from before. "So Kamatari liked you instead." The smile dropped and he ground his teeth, his eyes narrowing.

"He only likes to annoy me."

"But he wouldn't take the time to annoy you if he didn't like you." Teasing, she sidled up behind him and worked at the ties of his layered kimono, securing the open flap between his wings. Still curious, her mind trying to image a time long before her own, she became somber again. "Your brother never… hurt Kamatari, did he?"

_She's so persistent._ "He tried."

"But didn't succeed? That's strange, considering he was a noble."

"I suppose Kamatari was fortunate enough in the process of his flight to run across the only person living at the palace stronger than Isamu, and who could not stand his _senseless_ abuse of the servants."

Fingers slipping from the final knot, Kaoru let his words sink in, and her emotions once again tangled. He was such a good person. _And he told me himself this time!_

Just as startled as he was the last time, Kenshin tensed as her arms wrapped tightly around his middle from behind. She squeezed, her face pressing into his spine and the nape of his neck, and then she let go and grabbed his hand. "Come on. We've wasted enough time. You promised to escort me through the gardens today."

X

Kenshin's hand tightened briefly around the one slipped through his for what was not the first, nor would it probably be the last, time. The action was unconscious, reassuring, and searching. It startled him every time to find her hand there, and he knew it was because he was waiting expectantly for it to disappear. Waiting for that inevitable moment that would take away what he enjoyed, what he cared for. Nothing lasted forever, not, he realized, even him.

The pleasure of her light touch was shadowed by thoughts of her past actions, reminding him of the tentative steps they were taking towards change. It was slow change, innocent change, but change none-the-less, and it hovered on the edge of joy and despair. Sometimes it frustrated him that he was so inexperienced; with relationships, with friendships… with women in general. His past had left little room for anything but his father's wishes, and his father had not wished for his social upbringing. He never had friends growing up, he never had playmates, no interests in women, no envies for poems and fans and worldly pleasures. All he ever had was his mother and his oldest brother.

Of course, he also realized that no past experience would have prepared him for Kaoru, because she was not from the same time as he. Everything had changed since then; customs, integration of other cultures, rights, the government. She was unlike any woman he had ever met, and just as her nature was so foreign, so too were the feelings she stirred inside him. He didn't know what to make of them, how to respond, how to act, but could only puzzle over their appearance and acknowledge that in some way they were tied to the lady walking beside him. A lady tugging on his hand as she smiled and pointed at the blooming wisteria.

Their trip through the many gardens was slow, enjoyable, and almost lazy, or would be if she were not quite so excitable. Kaoru loved beautiful things, especially if they were natural, and every plant and tree they came across that she was not familiar with brought a look of wonder to her face. It was during that first moment when she had discovered something fascinating that her hand had slipped into his, pulling him closer, demanding that he look. After that it had stayed, and though she acted as if she did not notice, the purposeful way she ignored their connection told him she was all too aware. It was those little details that whispered for him to pay attention, to accept something he didn't understand yet. Just like the quick embrace in his room, or the way she had tackled him outside his office, or the grip of her fingers in his kimono and the look in her eyes that spoke of reluctance to let him go. All were hints that he recognized as clues, he just could not find the answer to the puzzle.

Perhaps it had a lot to do with his own indecision on what he wanted. Oh he knew what little things he had decided that he wanted, such as her attention, or her hand held in his. What that all meant when combined into a whole he did not know. Did that only mean friendship? If so, was that all he wanted? And if he wanted more, what did that mean, anyway? With his own eyes he had seen many different relationships; friendships, rivalry, marriage, affairs, family, courtship, and more. Even still, he knew not what emotions would accompany many of them, or what was said and done to define each. It left him with little to compare his attachment to Kaoru to, and his ignorance made him fear the mistakes he might stumble into because of a wrong assumption.

Sometimes he thought that perhaps their kind of relationship had not yet been defined, and so there would be nothing to compare it to. It seemed a bit arrogant to think so, but it comforted him when he floundered with what to do or say. To create such a new relationship would mean nothing he did or said would be wrong, and to not be wrong meant that his actions were right. This, he admitted with a sinking feeling, was not true, because if his actions were right, she would not carry that brooding look she sometimes wore. He would not feel as if he were missing something. He would not feel so unsatisfied.

Blinking, he frowned. _Unsatisfied? Why should I feel unsatisfied? I have had no one to laugh with me like this for my entire lifetime. She has given me more than any other. So why should I not be content? Why __**can **__I not be content?_

Whatever it was that he wanted, he did not now have it. Maybe it was simple greed, a want to have and experience everything there was. Maybe it was even Kaoru's influence that had triggered the insatiable desire. To be sure he had never felt such yearning for things he did not have before Kaoru. Awakening his emotions seemed to have a light and dark side. A sad part of him had hoped his life had held enough of the dark. With Kaoru, he wanted only the light.

A vision of life without her suddenly furrowed his brow and he saw only the darkness. A painful darkness that clawed at his chest. It hurt, but it was unlike any pain he had ever known. It stole his breath, covered his sight, numbed his world, until the ground beneath him seemed to drop away. He was floating, in a world where nothing existed but painful illusions to remind him of why his life was so much better when she was there. How was he to survive without her? How was he to go on when he did not have her strength to support him?

Light cut through the shadows and he blinked, his open eyes focusing on the glowing necklace resting against her chest. It was bright, beautiful, and warm, like her, and it eased the air in his lungs. A hand was touching his cheek, and when her voice called his name he looked up to find her standing in front of him, worry in her sapphire eyes. "Kenshin?"

Smiling, he tried desperately to shake the eerie delusion in his mind and the tendrils of fear it left snaking around his heart. It was hard, because the realization of what it meant only served to confuse him further. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono, did you say something?"

Unsure for a moment if she should question him or let it go, she wavered between a smile and a frown. The smile ultimately won and she was once again tugging him forward by the hand to share what she had found. "Look, Kenshin! It's amazing!"

Spread out below them was the entire expanse of the city and palace, the blooming trees and budding plants a magnificent display of color and texture. The late afternoon sunlight glanced off the roofs and greenery, warming and shadowing the scenery into pockets of purity and mystery. It was calming and exhilarating, simple yet elegant, a perfect blend of old buildings and new life. Kenshin had seen it many times, and the wonder had worn off long ago for him, but to see it through Kaoru's eyes, it was like the fresh new beginning of spring had finally found him and accepted his being as a part of its nature as well.

"It must be wonderful."

Tearing his eyes away from the view, he turned to her, baffled but amused to find her features completely open with unadulterated longing and envy. "What must be wonderful, my lady?"

"To be able to fly." The statement sounded so similar to what she had said to him once before as a child, that he couldn't help but laugh. Pouting, she glared up at him. "It's easy for you to laugh. You've got wings. I bet you don't even think about how amazing the view is from up there." Vaguely waving her hand upwards towards the sky, she scowled and ducked her head, feeling humiliated.

Chuckles dying off, Kenshin tightened his hand just incase she was tempted to pull away, and faced her fully, putting his back to the edge of the cliff they were standing by. "If you must know the truth, my lady, I think the view would be better if I had someone to share it with."

Petulantly her mouth opened, then closed, her eyes looking slowly up into his. Hesitant hope curved her lips, a bit unsure of the serious way he was staring at her, and she was almost glad of the excuse to look away when his hand tugged on her arm. Lifting their joined hands to his shoulder, his free hand found her other and encouraged her to wrap her arms around his neck. Forced close together as his arms encircled her back, bracing a hand between her shoulder blades and around her waist, she breathlessly realized this was the first time their embrace had ever been mutual. The feelings of comfort, trust, and safety from the night before solidified and she felt abruptly whole; she never wanted to let go.

Swallowing thickly, Kenshin pressed the pads of his fingers harder into the silk of her kimono, then had to consciously make an effort to relax, cursing his claws. It felt as if she couldn't be close enough. A restless sensation stirred deep in his chest, his steady breathing deepened, and he wanted nothing more than to curl himself fully around her light and warmth until he no longer felt fear that it would suddenly disappear. _I want this._ Another random conclusion that still shed no light on what the complete picture was, but at that moment it didn't matter. She was in his arms, and he wanted to keep her there.

"Hold on tight." Whispering the words into her hair, he felt her nod in reply and her grip adjust in preparation, but shamelessly stole a few more seconds before readying himself. Wings spreading wide, he bent his knees just slightly, felt her tense, then grinned and threw them both backwards over the cliff.

The sharp squeak in his ear revealed her surprise, her arms like a vice around his neck, and he felt suddenly quite playful as he twisted them into a spinning dive. At the last moment his wings snapped open, swooping them close over the trees below and the momentum of their fall helped them to climb high up above the city. Wind whistled around them, buffeting their clothes and whipping her hair about. Adrenaline quickened his heart, his wings shifting and playing with the gentle breeze, then working hard to bring them higher, and for the first time he was the eager one, thrilled with the chance to share.

Her face was still buried in the crook of his neck when he finally found a decent updraft to keep them aloft without effort. Circling back to keep the city in sight below, he felt her stir, apparently reassured that he wouldn't be pulling any more crazy stunts. Holding her firmly but letting her shift, he smiled when she gasped, her delight so very easy to read.

"Wow!" As if trying to take in everything at once, her eyes roved from side to side, her head twisting this way and that to catch it all, afraid of missing something. Indulging her, he waited patiently for her curiosity to be sated, banking in a wide circular pattern upward with the draft. Slowly her compulsive movements lessened until she was simply staring down below them, the side of her forehead pressed into his temple, her eyes glazed and dreamy. "I don't think there are words to describe this."

"Not many." Wanting her to see more, to share more, he slipped off the side of the updraft and followed the slope of the mountain down. Before them, the ocean stretched on for miles, glittering in the sunlight, smooth like glass in the midst of a perfect spring day. Far below, the village sat on its coast, busy and unaware of the spectators flying high above it in the sky.

"You can see forever up here!" Giggling, one arm loosened around his neck, trusting him to hold her as she brushed her bangs out of her face. "And look, there's my house!" Pointing, her smile widened. "It looks so small."

Tilting, her arm came back up around his neck, and he angled them sideways to turn back around, the trees a green blur of shapes below. A sudden gust of wind knocked them to one side, and Kaoru yelped as he easily flipped them over, cart wheeling to accommodate for the push. Laughing at her reaction, feeling mischievous, a wicked, boyish urge wished for him to use his advantage to tease her some more. Beating his wings to quicken their lazy pace, they shot abruptly forward, his wings pulling in as he dove around the large branches of a tree.

Turning sharply, he zigzagged in and out of the trees, giving her only enough leeway to keep her feeling secure yet off-balance. He didn't want to frighten her, it simply pleased him in a way he could not explain to hear her respond with surprise, and even a touch of agitation. Breaking from the forest, they sped low over the rice fields, and she squirmed in his arms. Lifting one wing to let the wind current alter their course, they paralleled a cliff then shot straight into a small ravine that led a trail up the mountain. Over the loud whistling of air, his name could be heard reverberating off the rocks, his laughter echoing with it. Slipping through the small enclosure, the wind took them up and out the top, Kenshin's wings curling around them as the space became narrow, then spreading wide to catch them as they popped out into the open.

"Kenshin!" Smiling as he purposefully ignored her, he flipped over backwards and headed a diagonal route back towards his palace.

Squirming again, Kaoru turned her head just enough to glare at the crazy redhead. What the hell he thought he was doing trying to give her heart attack with his mad tricks she didn't know, but she was going to give him a piece of her mind if he didn't slow down enough to give her time to breathe. Opening her mouth to chew his ear off, the thrashing wind current battering their hair around threw his bangs back and revealed his face. He was grinning like a boy, impishly satisfied with himself for getting away with his mischief. Although, to Kaoru, he looked more like a boy knowing he had done wrong and laughing as he ran away from punishment. Whatever the emotion driving him, he was having fun… and it drowned every ounce of the irritation curling in her gut.

Yelping involuntarily as he swung them upside down again, then dove straight down into one of the gardens, she could tell he was trying to worry her as it appeared he would not pull up in time. The arms wrapped around her though had tightened, keeping her safe, and she knew he wouldn't intentionally let her get hurt. Trust remembered, she loosened her own deathlike grip, wrapped a hand around the length of his braid, and yanked hard at the last second.

Caught off guard, his wings snapped open and pulled them up short, his head jerking back with the force of her wrenching motion. Scrambling in midair to regain his control, he fumbled for a moment with the obstacles around them, kicking at a tree branch they came a little too close to. Finally in the clear with enough space between them and the ground, he allowed the wind to carry them. Blinking in surprise at the turn in his game, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, only to find her nose scrunched and her tongue sticking out. And then she laughed and threw both arms out straight to either side, forcing him to clutch her tighter. "Now you may continue!"

Grinning, he spun onto his back so that she was right-side up, the long sleeves of her kimono streaming out beside them like wings of her own. Now that the teasing and pranks were finished, as it was apparent she was going to be fooled no longer, it was even more enjoyable knowing that they were having fun together.

Arching his back as gravity started to drag them straight down, he curled, twisted and banked, swinging smoothly over the rooftops of the city. Here they could get as close as they wanted without fear of what anyone would see, unlike with her own home and the village, and the residents that noticed their presence all stopped to stare or point. Arms still outstretched, Kaoru giggled, waving back at a large bird wading out into the middle of one of the garden ponds, quite sure that it was Shigure.

"Hold onto me."

Warning her, her arms wrapped quickly back around his neck just before he threw them into a spin. Their laughter mingled, a sweet harmony of sound mixing her tinkling soprano with his deeper baritone. He found it to be agreeable, slightly gratifying, so much so that he used every trick he had discovered flying just to create a chance moment for an encore.

"Would you like to see the other side of the mountain?" Eager now to please, he swiftly altered their course to head back up the mountainside when she nodded enthusiastically. Gaining altitude, the air becoming thinner, cooler, they broke through the misty confines of a cloud to find themselves in a completely new world. The clouds were now below them, the sky stretching above endlessly, and the peak of the mountain was their only companion besides the sun. Hovering for a moment, suspended in the air, he savored the feeling of isolation, his fingers unconsciously tightening against her, before reluctantly diving back down towards the acme of rock.

Returning to a lazy glide to rest his wings, they plummeted back through the clouds, coming out below on the eastern side of the mountain range. Instead of an ocean stretching out before them, they were met with a forest, thousands of trees covering all they could see all the way to the horizon. More mountains were barely visible in the distance; the dark glowing shimmer of a lake; the smell of smoke from a fire. As they looped widely, a large grouping of cherry trees caught Kaoru's eye far off the base of the mountain, and she strained her neck to look over his shoulder at it. Instantly she knew what it was, and she smiled at the home that had birthed her mother. An excited part of her wanted to point it out, to share with Kenshin, but a wiser voice in her head restrained her. It would not be a happy place for him.

Resting her chin against his shoulder, she frowned in mild irritation at the crick in her neck, the muscles strained from trying to keep it upright. The arms wrapped around her tightened as she shifted, and she took a deep breath, wondering at how easy it was to become used to his embrace. It felt so natural, and she was going to be sad when they had to land.

Passing back through the clouds for the third time, Kaoru shivered, the moisture cold and clammy against her skin. Trying to steal Kenshin's warmth, she buried her nose into the side of his neck, and felt him laugh.

"Are you cold, my lady?"

"No." Denial muffled, she pouted when he laughed again.

"Don't worry, I think our flight is over."

"I'm fine. Really, Kenshin. I don't want to go back yet."

"I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono, but my wings are tired."

"Oh." Chagrined, she berated herself for not thinking about his comfort.

Nose pressing against her hair, he whispered teasingly. "And you are cold."

"Hmph. I am not." As if to prove it, she shivered violently, and he laughed harder.

Silence pressed down upon them and it suddenly became very peaceful, just the two of them, somewhere no one else could reach. Uninterested in looking down anymore, Kaoru stared upwards at the darkening sky, studying seriously the hues of orange and yellow and red. Lifting a hand, she played with the force of wind their passage created, smiling as it tickled her skin.

"Will you promise to take me again?" Words quiet, hopeful yet tentative, she blinked at his wings, memorizing the slight way they fluttered to keep level.

"As often as you wish."

Eyes clenching shut, she dug her fingers into the shoulder of his kimono, hugging him tighter to convey her gratitude. "Thank you."

They landed just inside the gate to the palace, Kenshin's feet touching down before her own, his red wings fluffing out once more before folding neatly at his back. Neither of them seemed in a hurry to break apart, a hint of wrongness tainting the mere thought, but with a sigh Kaoru let her arms slip from his neck to brace instead against his chest. They couldn't stay there forever.

It was her intention to step back, but with all the weight abruptly back on her legs, they buckled, pitching her forward instead. Startled, Kenshin caught her, the arms that had not quite released her yet convulsing. A quick, hitching breath burst from her mouth, her chin smashing into his sternum, and he feared for a moment that she might be hurt. Slowly her eyes flickered open, and with barely any space between them he could see every fleck of sky blue buried deep within her sapphire irises. The worry he felt subsided, the atmosphere became heavy, and it seemed only natural to let his suddenly leaden eyelids close and lower his mouth on top of hers.

With the motion almost complete, his mouth a bare space from hers, he wondered just what the hell he was doing, and his golden eyes snapped open to stare into the wide pools of her own. Panicked, he pulled back, releasing her to place distance between them, watching as she stumbled forward without his support. Grasping desperately for the decorum and protocol he was used to, he quickly, clumsily, rebuilt his walls and turned away. "Forgive me… that was… uncalled for." Frustrated once again with his awkwardness, he could think of nothing else to say or do and decided to flee. Behind him, Kaoru watched without moving, blinking in confusion, a hand covering her lips.

X

A/N: Yay! Well, kinda yay. So this was just a bunch of mushy nonsense, but we need that every once in awhile, and especially with these two. So, I hope that you enjoyed. The beginning part ended up being longer than I had anticipated, but that's ok because the last half ended up being shorter. XD What I find funny is I said something about a walk, and I never really described much of that. Instead we got a flight. More fun, I think, though Kaoru got both, so it's alright. I wanted to make sure I got more of Kenshin at some point, because we pretty much can see what's going on with Kaoru. So I hope this was sufficient, and now that some progress has occurred, we get to really test the limits of their friendship.

Next chapter, Kaoru asks for some advice, and gets it from a source she would have never dreamed possible. Please leave a review, and I'll see you soon.


	32. Secrets, Doubts, and a Dream

So this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I anticipated. Which is completely fine, however… I knew that I wasn't going to get it done like most of the others in one week, and since there is absolutely no chance of me even trying to write on Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays, I thought for sure I would finish it up on the second Thursday. Ha. As usual, something else always comes up. This time, however, it is really my own fault. I got completely hooked on reading a new manga I found, and could not stop reading it until I was finished. I stayed up every single night this last week, reading until the wee hours of the morning, even knowing that I have to wake up at 4:30am just to be at work. Now, I am left with that empty, frantic, excited mix of energy that ruins your day because low and behold… the manga hasn't been completed yet, either. Now, I must impatiently wait for the next volume to be published (or the next scan to be put online) before I can find out what happens. When explaining this to my boyfriend's grandmother, though, she just laughed and said, "Now you know how it feels." lmfao Please accept my sincerest apologies, and let me get back on track with my own wayward, stubborn, and love-sick characters. XD

Disclaimer: Yes, yes, all the standard things apply.

**Chapter 32: Secrets, Doubts, and a Dream**

Soft candlelight flickered her own image within the reflective surface of Kaoru's vanity mirror. It was late, the sun already down and cloaking the world in darkness, even the moon gone for the evening to rest. Lethargic, she watched her own movements as she brushed the hair pulled over one shoulder, the motion hypnotizing. Try as she might, her thoughts could not be brought to order, the ties and sequential regulation they normally practiced a scattering of petals in the wind. After fighting it for hours, Kaoru was no longer up to the challenge. Perhaps the mindlessness of routine was just what she needed to let herself relax.

Misao lay sprawled in the room next to her, bored and dozing. As the lady's personal handmaiden she was supposed to be with her most of the day, but there just wasn't much that a small weasel could really do. Kaoru tried to get rid of her as often as possible, mainly because she knew her small friend was restless and irritated with her inability to help. She liked having her company, but it was a bit depressing knowing she was unhappy, and Kaoru knew, no matter how much Misao denied it, that her own presence was the main culprit. Tonight, however, Kaoru had no excuse to dismiss her since Aoshi was gone on patrol.

Whenever the raven was gone Misao always seemed a little lost. It wasn't exactly noticeable, but after being around her almost constantly, Kaoru could tell. She would act distracted, and though her energy seemed never-ending, the pep in her step became just a bit forced. Kaoru thought it was amazing. For two people to be so much in love, and to still feel that love even after a thousand years of each other's company, was an achievement. Briefly she was envious, her heart ached with longing, and the disorder in her mind plucked out a memory and settled on it for contemplation.

Sighing, she continued to brush, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip relentlessly. She still didn't know what had gone wrong, well perhaps she did, but with the entire evening going so right, it seemed nearly impossible for anything to sour the warm atmosphere between them. Even still, it wasn't truly an unpleasant feeling that had developed, but a more intense version of awkward and unsure. Things were changing… but a decision needed to be made soon to figure out how.

Settling the brush down, Kaoru lifted her eyes up the mirror to her mouth, watching it part to draw in a breath. She had never really considered her mouth before, not in serious meditation, and to look at it now it seemed like something alien and new. Eyes blinking slowly as she studied her own lips intently, she spoke; perhaps to hear an answer, or perhaps just to watch them move.

"Misao-san… if I were to talk to you in confidence, you wouldn't tell anyone else, would you?"

Stretching her neck back to flatten the top of her skull against the floor, Misao looked at her mistress upside down. "Of course not, milady. After all, a lady's handmaiden is also her greatest confidant. It is an unspoken part of my duty."

"So I won't wake up tomorrow and hear the whole palace whispering my secrets?" Casting her eyes briefly over the weasel, she smiled slightly, but was completely serious. She knew how things worked around the palace. Hadn't Soujirou told her himself that it was the business of the servants to know everything going on in the lives of the nobles?

"On my honor, milady, I would not speak a word. Whatever you wish to share with me will go with me to the grave. And if you wish to hear proof, there are many secrets Lady Kinuko whispered to me that I have kept, even now after her death. I would never betray my mistress."

Heartened by her earnestness, Kaoru returned her gaze to her own image, sapphire irises once more drawn to her mouth. Voice a mere whisper, she curled both hands into the waterfall of her hair. "I think… Kenshin was going to kiss me." There was a startled series of soft thumps and then the sharp scrape of claws on the tatami. Hopping up onto the vanity, Misao's wide aquamarine eyes locked on her face, her words a squeak.

"Really?"

Surprised by her tone of eagerness and shock, Kaoru darted a look her way and blushed, a smile pulling her bottom lip from her teeth. "I think so, I mean… I'm pretty sure."

"Were you going to let him?"

Blush darkening, she looked back into the mirror and touched a finger to her lips. "Maybe."

Squealing in girlish delight, Misao jumped off the vanity and did a little somersault to express her excitement. "That's a yes!" Giggling and dancing around the room, she stopped on a sudden thought. "Wait. So he didn't really kiss you?"

"No." Taking a shaky breath, her eyes dropped to her lap. "He acted like he was going to, but then he… stopped."

Deflated, Misao rolled her eyes. It sounded like something her master would do. "Let me guess, he even apologized afterwards."

"Yeah." Response low, Kaoru sighed again, her fingers playing with her hair. Scrunching her face, Kaoru let the doubt that was upsetting her emotions show. "Do you… think it was just an accident? I mean… I'm not even sure if he knew what he was doing. And he stopped himself before it happened. What if… he wishes he hadn't, and I… I wish he had?"

"Well, milady, I don't really think that's something you need to worry about." Amused, Misao sat down next to her.

"How can you be sure?" Looking down at her, Kaoru's eyes were skeptical.

"Well, because what you said is very much true, milady. Lord Kenshin probably didn't have the slightest idea what he was doing."

"Oh." Kaoru's heart sank.

"After all, I've never once heard of any women visiting his pavilion, except for his mother."

Kaoru blinked, then blushed as understanding hit her. "Oh!" Lips twitching, she fought a grin. "Well… it's nice to be on some kind of even ground." Misao laughed as Kaoru giggled.

"Yes, milady. He was probably as unsure of his actions as you were, but I doubt that means he wishes he couldn't kiss you."

"Then why didn't he? It's not like… I was going to stop him." Embarrassed of the confession, and the grin Misao was showing over it, Kaoru turned her head to the side.

"But he didn't know that, milady." Placing her front paws on the lip of the vanity, Misao tried to crane her neck to see her mistress' features. "If he was unsure of his own actions, he wouldn't have been any more sure about your reaction. I know Lord Kenshin, milady, and when he's confused about anything it frustrates him."

"I know, I've seen that first hand, but… at least before I could help him. I… I don't think there's anything I can do this time. I mean… just because I…" Blushing, Kaoru couldn't bring herself to finish the thought, and cleared her throat instead. "Well, I can't tell him what he feels, so…"

"Actually, you're wrong, milady. You _can_ help him."

"How?"

Jumping back up on the vanity, Misao sat herself directly in the middle so that Kaoru couldn't avoid her anymore. "You need to make it clear to him how you feel about your relationship."

"But…I thought I was…"

"No, not really. You must remember, that he himself has never had any experience with this type of relationship. You've given him too many things to think about that contradict any such decision on your part."

"Like what?" Alarmed, Kaoru's eyes widened and she leaned back.

"Like your friendship with Soujirou. All the time you spent with him. Don't think my master didn't feel irritated that you would be getting so cozy with his old rival, or that he didn't count every single time Soujirou's name popped up into your conversations." Kaoru's mouth opened in shock, but Misao glared and continued before she could argue. "And don't even get me started on that indecent display of affection."

"What indecent display of affection?" Voice squeaking in outrage, Kaoru felt a touch of anger. These people really needed to mind their own business and stop blowing everything out of proportion.

"That hug that nearly gave poor Soujirou a heart attack, what with the master stumbling upon you and all. You were already at odds with one another, I'm sure that was the last thing he needed to see, and you put poor Soujirou in a very awkward position."

"Kenshin saw that?" Thinking back, Kaoru suddenly understood. "No wonder he was so mad at me." Brows twitching, she pouted out a lip. "But I've hugged Kenshin too, and besides, it wasn't the same. I was just happy with what Soujirou-kun said."

"Yes, milady, and it must not be bothering him as much, but it is not completely out of his head, either. Because you have hugged on them both it only leaves more room for doubt. How can he be sure he is any more special to you than this servant?"

"Well, I…"

"There are many other factors, too, milady. You are kind to him, but you are indeed kind to everyone. If you spend more time with him, it is because you are friends, and have been since you were small. He will wonder if that is all you see. He will suspect every small detail of your actions as nothing more than the normal compassion you show for all life. He can't be sure, because you have given him no reason to be."

"I have too."

Grunting in exasperation, Misao closed her eyes. "You are going to have to be a little more forward than simply brushing his hair, though that is a good start, I suppose. Nobody has brushed his hair for him since his mother, so at least the action is connected to some form of deep affection."

_Then why does he fight me over it?_ Huffing, Kaoru crossed her arms. "Do you guys know everything?"

Misao cracked a grin. "It is part of my duty to know everything about my mistress, milady. Especially when she is spending late nights in a man's pavilion." Bowing her head, she laughed when Kaoru growled. "Too bad nothing else besides hair grooming happened. Three nights of the good stuff and you wouldn't even need to worry about a wedding ceremony."

All the color drained out of her face and then came back in a surging rush of bright red. "WHAT?"

"Yep. Everything was much easier back in the day. Of course, the ceremonies now are nice too, but I think our way was much more fun."

"Once you slept with someone you were automatically married?"

"Oh no, you misunderstood completely. There was a level of custom in deciding who you wanted to marry, but virginity was pretty much optional."

"Oh my."

"Of course the courtship was a bit overemphasized if you ask me, but I don't think you'll have to worry about poetry from the master. Though, there were plenty of arranged marriages too, so it wasn't all about flowery words and gifts. Well, I guess it still was, but it was usually to the father and not the girl with those kinds. That's how Master Izo acquired all of his wives. He didn't care about having any of them. He just wanted babies and their family's influence."

"That makes me feel bad for his wives."

Misao shrugged at Kaoru's frowning face. "It wasn't all that bad for them. Now I'm not saying I would like the situation any better than you, but as a noblewoman they wouldn't have had much say anyway, and they knew that from the start. With Master Izo they were taken care of and they lived comfortably. Besides which, milady, they all had lovers."

Kaoru's eyes widened. "Really? That was allowed?"

"Yeah. As long as they were discreet about it, which they were."

"Even… even Kenshin's mom?"

"Oh no." Shaking her head, Misao corrected herself hurriedly. "Lady Kinuko allowed no one into her bed but her husband. She was a very proper lady, and she frowned on taking a lover. Also, she was very loyal to her husband. She was an amazingly moral lady, in comparison to the others, and it is probably most of the reason Lord Kenshin acts as stiff and formal as he does."

Seeing that Kaoru was nearly overloaded with information, Misao quickly added to be sure nothing she said would worry the girl. "Don't worry, milady, I doubt the master would make you do anything you don't wish to, and after the ceremony for Tae and Katsu, I think he is aware of the differences between what he used to know and what is practiced now." Kaoru nodded absently, and Misao tried to change the subject. It was clear the content was embarrassing the girl. "It was good that you mentioned the ceremony for Tae and Katsu, actually, milady. It emphasized their special union, since they cannot be together in any other way but name. We were lucky, though, that Anji has kept up with the religions, otherwise no one would have been able to perform it."

Another absent nod, and Misao cleared her throat. "Anyway, I think we strayed from the topic."

"Right." Shaking her head free of this new knowledge, Kaoru pulled in a deep breath and rifled back through their conversation to remember what they were originally talking about. "So I need to be more forward."

"That's right. You need to let him know how you feel so that he can no longer doubt your actions and focus more on his own."

"So what you're saying is… I need to kiss him?"

"Well… perhaps not that forward. You've pretty much been leading him through all of his problems since you got here, milady, and although we are all grateful, and I'm sure he is too, it hasn't given him much opportunity to be the… well, man. Guys need to feel like they're in control, so I would suggest letting him make the first move. What you need to do is encourage him into that."

"That doesn't explain anything. How am I supposed to be more forward and let him know for sure how I feel when I can't do anything."

"Get creative. You don't have to jump in a man's lap to get him to understand what you want."

"Right." Blushing again, Kaoru scratched her nails through her bangs. _This is as bad as Tomoe's advice. How am I supposed to handle this delicately when I can't be delicate._ Shoulders drooping, her thoughts screeched to a halt. How was this new turn going to affect what she was supposed to be doing with the curse?

Mistaking Kaoru's silence, Misao sighed. "Why don't you sleep on it. You don't have to come up with something right away. Just trying to act intentionally more affectionate with him will help, too." Jumping off the vanity, Misao trotted to the door. "Goodnight, milady."

Whispering her own goodnight, Kaoru looked back to the mirror, everything once again in turmoil. How selfish of her. Here she was thinking only about herself, when she should have been thinking past her own wishes and desires and to the possible outcomes. So what if she wanted this, but was she completely sure this was something that he wanted? She was supposed to be trying to make him happy and comfortable; trying to help him enjoy life and open up. Love was double-edged. What if it turned wrong? What if they tried and it wasn't good for either of them? He wouldn't be happy then. This held the possibility of making things worse.

Misao could be wrong. After all, she wasn't Kenshin, how could she know what he wanted? What if his actions were only an accident? What if he was only trying to be friendly, had forgotten himself and who he was with, and slipped up? They had first met one another when she was a child of merely four. What if he still thought of her as that child? Sure she had spent more time with him now as an adult, but what if he couldn't see past that? What if it didn't even have anything to do with her age, but that they were merely friends and nothing more? And what if being friends with him would make him happier than being anything more?

She cared for everyone, and she wanted everyone to be happy and free, especially Kenshin. If this new change threatened the chance to break the curse… then perhaps she didn't need to tempt it at all. Frustrated, Kaoru began braiding her hair. But what if staying friends hurt his happiness, too? What if he did want more and her own withdraw and denial of his feelings hurt him? He would be too polite and kind to say so, of course, but it wouldn't matter, because the change would happen, and he would not be happy.

_So I need to let him know where I stand, huh? Well, it would be great if I knew where he stood on it, too. _Sticking her tongue out at her own reflection, Kaoru tied off her hair and turned away from the vanity. Crawling her way to her futon, she blew out the candle and climbed under the covers. She didn't know why everything had to be so confusing and difficult between them. The curse was only proving to make it worse, now that she knew even a part of what needed to be done to break it. She wished she knew what to do. She wished she knew someone else to talk to. She wished her mother was still alive. _I wish I got to meet Lady Kinuko. I bet she knows her son better than anyone._

Yawning, Kaoru closed her eyes, and willed herself to relax into sleep. Under her sleeping robe her necklace glowed, warm and pink… an answering result of her wish.

"_In this, young one, I can lend you my guidance."_

X

Kaoru blinked in confusion, her eyes staring across the pond bordering the courtyard and to the other, smaller open pavilion on the other side. It was late afternoon, and it was hot. One lazy frog croaked at her, a relentless song that reverberated in the stillness, accompanied only by the chirp of crickets and the occasional sound of feet. Stepping forward to the edge, Kaoru blinked again, trying to rid herself of the vision, or convince herself that it was real. Eyes tracking their way down the veranda across the courtyard, she watched as the servant, for it had to be a servant carrying all the dishes, walked with back straight and arms loaded. The servant was human. Human and normal without a trace of the curse in sight.

Backing away from the edge, Kaoru jumped when a hand touched her sleeve, squeaking in alarm and twisting to place the culprit in front of her and in full view. Sapphire eyes wide, she stared as the hand that had touched her held up as if to say the owner had meant no harm and was sorry to startle her. Not sure how she knew that, as the woman, for it was a woman standing with her, had said nothing, Kaoru relaxed hesitantly. Vaguely she recognized the woman, and as her gaze swept over the court kimono and the veil covering her face, she relaxed completely. This was the presence that had comforted her through her visions of Kenshin. The Kenshin from the past who had killed relentlessly and burnt innocent villages. This woman was familiar, and in a place that felt so eerily unfamiliar, Kaoru was grateful to see her.

Pointing back behind her at the servant that was no doubt gone by now, Kaoru's face curled in question, but before she could ask, the woman was sweeping by her. Twisting to watch as she walked down the veranda, the woman stopped only twenty paces away and beckoned for her to follow. Snapping out of her daze, Kaoru quick-stepped to catch up. Seeing that Kaoru was coming now, the woman turned to lead her to the divider steps that left a passageway into the courtyard itself. Here she stopped, one arm lifting to halt Kaoru, and then the other pointed at the sturdy gate.

There was a small buzz of commotion as servants and retainers all stood waiting patiently for something. In only a few moments that something had the gates swinging open and the light buzz turned into a raucous den of noise and ordered chaos. Full sized war horses with men in armor paraded through first, men on foot plodding heavily in afterwards, all looking tired and worn. All except the leader, who proudly sat straight, his head held high, and his actions purposefully absent of any show of exhaustion.

A servant ran forward to grab the reins of this man's horse, holding the beast steady as the man dismounted. Movements short and impatient, he jerked off the helmet covering his head and threw it at another servant, not even looking to see if he caught it. Too surprised to look herself, Kaoru stared at this man, who appeared to be in his late forties, perhaps early fifties, as he walked, with amazing purpose towards the steps. He was tall, taller than her father, and looked to be in better shape than most of the young men she knew. His features were stern, his jaw firm and unyielding, and the dark gold of his irises were not approachable. Just the aura surrounding him said he was a powerful and dangerous man. As he stepped up the stairs opposite them, he didn't even spare one glance in their direction, but marched off down the veranda and disappeared into the palace, his tight, traditional topknot of red hair dark in the shadows of the roofing. A dazed part of Kaoru's mind told her that he must be Kenshin's father.

Loud laughter pulled her eyes away from line of retainers and servants that had followed the master, returning her attention to the war party. Another man, just as tall as the master, was boasting loudly to a group of four women surrounding him, his arms draped over their shoulders as he led them to the steps. The women all giggled and simpered at him, vulgarly letting him run his hands over parts of their bodies that made Kaoru blush. One look at him told her that he was one of Kenshin's brothers, his obvious resemblances to the master showing in his face. Though he was laughing, and looked to be not as stern, his features had a look of cruelty about them; a meanness his joviality could not hide. For a moment he did spare her a glance, his golden eyes running down her body suggestively, but dismissed her quickly. Too concerned with the looser women in his grasp, he disappeared in an opposite direction from the master, his red hair swinging heavily down his back in a tight braid.

Close behind him was a much bulkier man, his features expressionless behind the circle of red, facial hair around his mouth. In direct contrast to his father and brother, this man was completely bald, and Kaoru's conversation with Kenshin popped into her head. This was Isamu, and at first glance, she knew she disliked him. Not because he was cruel looking like the other, or stern and unapproachable like their father, but because she knew he used his strength to hurt others intentionally. Like poor Kamatari. Servants were following him as well, but they were subdued, defeated, and their eyes were empty. Disgust curled in Kaoru's gut, she was glad she never knew him.

A woman stood to the side as Isamu passed and Kaoru's sapphire eyes were drawn to her. Politely she bowed, her dark hair curtaining her face, and when she stood Kaoru couldn't help but smile. She was lovely, her kimono a beautiful contrast to her deep brown eyes, her face a picture of charm and serenity. There was something else about her, though, that attracted Kaoru to her. She looked to be kind and very gentle.

Once Isamu and his party were clear, this new woman stood straight and continued forward towards them. At the top of the steps she stopped, her posture perfect as she waited patiently. Dark eyes swept across the returning war party, and as intently as Kaoru was watching her, she saw every flicker of pleasure and delight ripple across her face, even though she only smiled in soft recognition. Hurried footsteps pounded across the yard, the smile became just a bit wider, and curiosity forced Kaoru to search for what had delighted this stunning lady.

At first Kaoru was shocked, and then briefly hurt. The man hurrying towards the lady, this man she was so happy to have back, who raced up the steps to wrap his arms around her, was the same man painted in the picture tucked away in Kenshin's room. His hair was tied off lower, but the resemblances were uncanny. Even the look on his face held the same picture of love and devotion towards this woman. If this was Kenshin, than who was she? It couldn't be his mother, because no man would great his mother in such a fashion. Especially with such a tender and heartfelt stolen kiss.

The pain in her chest intensified, but she could do nothing but gaze wretchedly at the pair as they doted on one another; so happy, so very much in love. And he was so handsome; so confident; so gentle. He was everything she knew Kenshin could be, and then still more. A loving, forgiving, part of her was glad for the bliss and happiness he had apparently found. Glad that he had this love. Another part wallowed in self-pity and black envy.

Frowning, Kaoru's memory decided to contradict. Hadn't Megumi-sensei said that Kenshin had never been married? Hadn't Misao-san said that he was inexperienced? How could he be so confident here and not when she knew him? How could he be so familiar with this woman when he was so unsure with her? And why did he look to be older than the other two brothers when he was the youngest?

Blinking Kaoru watched the man she thought to be Kenshin finally take the last step up onto the walk and realized for the first time how tall he really was. Much taller than the lady standing next to him, and she didn't seem to be much taller than Kaoru herself. Kenshin wasn't much taller than her… which meant this man wasn't Kenshin, he was…

"I missed you, Shinta-sama. I do not like it when you are gone."

"I know, my heart, but I must do as Father asks. For now, at least." Lightly he planted a kiss on the crown of her head, and Kaoru blushed, feeling like an intruder witnessing their intimate displays of affection. "And you know I had to look out for Kenshin this time. I couldn't let my little brother go into his first battle alone."

"Be fair now, anata. That boy can best you." A dark frown pulled on his features, and the lady's light play at humor and reassurance died with a sigh.

"In training perhaps, but nothing prepares a man for taking a life."

His words struck home and Kaoru felt sorrow twist in her heart. Eyes dragging away, she searched the remaining men for a sign of Kenshin, desperate to see what his demeanor would show. It took little time, her eyes locking on to a small man pacing steadily towards the veranda, his head down, his bangs covering his face. It was a posture she was used to. He was trying to hide. Next to his brothers and father, it was an abrupt surprise to realize how scrawny he appeared. Kaoru had never really thought of Kenshin as weak or small, but with a family like the one he had, it was quite apparent he was the runt. All the more reason to fear his strength, when he could overpower them all.

Steps quick and light, hurried yet graceful, he mounted the stairs and was on the walk before Shinta could fully turn. From the other side, Kaoru took a step forward, but was once again detained by the woman beside her, the presence of the other forgotten and startling. Shinta's deeper voice snapped Kaoru's head back to watch, and Kenshin paused only briefly at the call of his name.

"…You did well, little brother. Get some rest. I will make your excuses to Father."

Hesitating, the fisted hands at his sides shook just barely before he nodded and continued on his way. As he rounded the corner, Shinta wrapped an arm around his wife and led her away, his head shaking sadly. About to protest her detainment, her heart crying out to follow and comfort, she blinked as the veiled woman appeared at the corner Kenshin had disappeared around, her hand waving for her to come. Startled, she glanced to her side and found that the woman was indeed gone. Shaking her head, she quickly skipped down the steps, her hands bunching up the layers of silk she found herself wearing, and raced up the other side to catch up.

As she passed his oldest brother she glanced distractedly upwards, marveling at the height difference, and was surprised to find his warm amber eyes looking back. He blinked briefly at her, a wrinkle of confusion forming between his brows, and with her attention distracted she stepped on the trailing ends of her court kimono and tripped. Quickly his hand snapped around her arm, steadying her, and the sudden contact warped something in the air surrounding them. Dazed, he let her go, his head shaking as if to rid himself of a buzzing in his ears. Unsure what to do, and worried about the way his lady wife was tilting her head, confused and either ignorant to what had happened, or unable to notice, Kaoru stumbled back.

"Wait." His voice was blatantly clearer, and Kaoru was surprised that she had not noticed the muffled way the noise here had sounded. "Who are you? I don't recognize you."

"Uh…" Trying to escape, trying to think of a convenient excuse to deter him, Kaoru stuttered and backed up further. "I… I'm just… I was… visiting… and… I thought…"

A suspicious, calculating look entered his eyes as whatever was handicapping him continued to muddle his thoughts. He was definitely a very intelligent man, and more observant than the others. "Who are you visiting?"

Thinking of her destination, and waving a hand vaguely in that direction, Kaoru spoke without thinking. "Just Kenshin… I mean…!" Eyes widening as she realized her slip, she knew it was too late when his own eyes widened in astonishment. There was no hope that he had missed her absence of a title, but the claim had caught him off guard. Too soon his face was curling in distrust.

"Your name, my lady, and who sent you. I will not have these games played on my little brother."

Unable to comprehend what he meant, Kaoru stood frozen. As she stared at him Misao's teasing words echoed in her mind and all the blood rushed to her face, her mouth snapping open in anger. "What the hell kind of woman to do you take me for?" Voice rising, she stepped forward angrily, his head pulling back. "I thought the brother he always speaks so highly of would have better manners than to accuse a lady of such… such… indecencies! And for your information, I'm here because I want to be here! Not because someone sent me! I'm here for Kenshin, because I… well I…" Stumbling over the words, her features twitched in irritation and she angrily avoided it by accusing. "Well, it's none of your business why! Really, questioning a lady over her motives! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

A hand touched her sleeve and she jerked to look at the veiled woman, her eyes tearing from the bemused expression on Shinta's face. _"This man is not why we are here."_ Nodding shortly, Kaoru shot one last glare at the older brother, noticing confusion once again on his features as he searched for the origin of a sound he could not locate, and turned sharply away.

"If you are done interrogating me, I have someone to catch up to… before the idiot locks himself up somewhere and ignores the world."

Rounding the corner, she glanced one last time over her shoulder at the pair, and paused to find the veiled woman still there. One pale hand reached up to touch Shinta's forehead, and a vapid look washed over his features. A heartbeat later, he shook his head, his heavy eyelashes pulling forcefully apart, and he hesitated before smiling gently at his wife next to him. Unsure for only another moment longer, he followed her urging down the opposite veranda, their happy reunion continued as if it had never been interrupted.

Putting them out of her thoughts, Kaoru gathered up the bothersome ends of her kimono and hurried forward. Seconds later, the woman was back with her, directing her around the palace's labyrinthine walkways and to their destination. At any other place and time, she might have been out of breath, but here she was not. A vague whisper in her mind told her that it was because she was not really there, or rather, because her body was not really there. If this was a dream, or if it was something else, she didn't know, and it really didn't matter. An urgent, sure part of her consciousness told her that this was important and not to be taken lightly.

As they came closer to their destination Kaoru had to dodge out of the way of a servant hurrying quickly in the opposite direction. There was a worried look on the young man's face and as something crashed inside the pavilion to her left, she knew the reason why. Looking to the lady for confirmation, she watched a pale hand point to the closed tsumado and knew for certain what she had already guessed. This was where Kenshin had gone, and he was the one frightening everyone off.

Through the doors and inside the now quiet hallway, Kaoru walked hesitantly toward the wide open shoji. A peek showed another familiar sight, the room a mess and his form sitting dejectedly at the center. It felt surreal for a moment, looking at this young man's back, knowing that it was Kenshin, and yet seeing none of the traits she was used to. There were no wings; there were no horns; no claws; no talons; no red scales; no tail. He was simply a young man. A man who appeared to be at an age even younger than her. His hair was pulled up high, like she preferred to wear her own, and there was a slight tinge of color to the skin showing at the nape of his neck. The armor he had worn was now shed and tossed haphazardly around the room, showing the stains and tears in the kimono and hakama that had been worn underneath. The katana that had swung dangerously at his hip now rested carefully next to him on the floor.

For a few moments all she could do was stare; watch as he pressed his forehead into one upraised knee. He didn't move except to breathe, but it seemed to Kaoru that a light shiver trembled each inhaled breath.

A light clack from the outer tsumado alerted Kaoru that someone else had dared to come into the pavilion, and a touch of anxiety at being found out knotted her stomach. The veiled lady beside her sensed it as well, and as soft footsteps padded closer to their position, she pressed herself over the top of Kaoru's crouched form. From around the loose, flowing robe of the court kimono, Kaoru caught a glimpse of another lady; just a hand and the material of her dress. Without asking for permission, she stepped up into the room and approached the seated boy. Unlike Shinta, she did not notice Kaoru or her guide.

Her companion pulled back and Kaoru was able to fully view the scene unfolding within. The back of the lady was to her, so she could see none of her features, but she was small, and the hand she outstretched to place on Kenshin's head was delicate. Slowly his shoulders hunched inward, as if wishing to dislodge her touch, or disappear from sight, and a gentle sigh pushed from the lady's lips. Withdrawing her hand, she turned to a corner, unearthed a brush from the disorder, and came back to kneel behind him. Carefully she undid the tie holding his hair up, letting the crimson locks spill down his back and over his shoulders to trail on the floor. Gathering them up just as diligently, she pulled the bristles through the strands in a slow and rhythmic manner.

"I am glad that you have come back to me safely." Gently she spoke and her voice was soothing, not quite sweet, but very relaxing and kind. "It saddens me that you did not come to greet me before retiring. I have been anxious for your return."

Just barely his head lifted. "Forgive me, Mother. I… was not thinking."

"It is alright. Next time, please do not forget your manners."

The hand at his side clenched, then rose to cover his face, tangling with his bangs. "Of course." There was a tightness to his voice that made Kaoru frown in sympathy, sad that there would be a next time. Suddenly sitting completely straight he flung the arm back out to his side in a jerky, frustrated motion. "Shouldn't you be greeting Father?"

"Your father is taking council. I will be informed at the appropriate time." Reassuring him, she kept up the gentle stroke of the brush, her skilled hand not once snagging in his hair. "Many of the men were speaking loudly of your skills as they passed. It seems you have made quite the impression on the lord's army."

His level chin dropped slowly towards his chest. "Is that so?"

"This strength you have acquired must make you proud. Now your goal of protecting Shinta-sama is much closer to being attainable, is it not?"

"I… suppose." A touch of pain entered his voice.

The hand holding the brush stilled. "You must not show hesitation, otherwise you will be questioned why."

"I know." Now there was desperation.

"As your mother, Kenshin, I wish for your safety above all others. Perhaps it is selfish, but please do not put yourself needlessly in harm's way." A long breath pulled into her lungs. "Even if that means taking life."

The meanings hidden beneath their exchange finally became too much, and Kaoru watched in horror as Kenshin doubled over as if in extreme pain. Both hands came up to cradle his face, and only the harsh convulsing of his body hinted at the sobs that wished to break from his mouth. Setting the brush to the side, Lady Kinuko placed her hand comfortingly on the back of his head.

"My poor boy." Her voice was barely even a whisper. "If only these tears and your innocence could last. Instead I am left with the bitter task of encouraging the growth of callousness within you. Please forgive me…" Head bowing forward, her fingers clenched briefly in his hair. "but this is the last time you must allow yourself to cry."

A gasping breath fought desperately against his control, and he slumped onto his side, his arms curling around his head as if fending off an unseen attack. From the doorway Kaoru's heart ached, her own tears building harshly at the backs of her eyes and burning against her tender retinas. It hurt to not be able to comfort him, hurt to have to watch how thoroughly grieved he was over the lifestyle chosen for him. To take a life… Kaoru couldn't even imagine what that felt like.

For several minutes nothing happened except for the smooth progress of Kinuko's hand up and down his back. Eventually the ragged breathing upsetting the gentle scene became less, and the tense muscles in his back and shoulders loosened, his arms slipping free of his head to lay still on the floor. The expansion of his ribs became deep and even, but it was still long moments later before Lady Kinuko retrieved her hand to fold neatly into her lap. Clasping the doorframe, her eyebrows twitching and heart bruised, Kaoru felt so helpless. If this was truly a vision of an obscure event from the past, then this had already happened to her Kenshin, and nothing she could do would change that. He had suffered like this; had suffered and cried, trapped in a world that gave him no other choice but to bloody his hands and soul. She hated that his life had been so controlling, and as her sympathy grew so too did a fierce bud of determination to make his world happy.

"_I have brought you to where you need to be, young one. The rest I will leave to your own power."_

Twisting her head quickly, Kaoru looked over her shoulder for the veiled woman, blinking when she found herself alone. Slightly anxious, she released the door and quick searched the entire expanse of hallway in view, but she was indeed isolated within this place and time she found unfamiliar. What was she supposed to do? What power did she have?

"If you have come to see my son I am afraid he is in no condition to be accepting visitors." Gasping, Kaoru jerked her eyes back to Kenshin and his mother. "But I think you are well aware of that." Kaoru's eyes widened as Kinuko's lilac irises locked onto her figure in the doorway. They studied her, and in the moments that followed Kaoru was able to take in the lady's own features. Ink black lashes framed the pretty color of her eyes, intensifying the rarity of such a trait. The eyebrows above were just as black, but a second glance showed them to be higher than normal, and in fact drawn onto the pale powder covering her face. A deep red stain of gloss exaggerated the closed lips underneath her petite nose. Lastly the half-drawn up length of her hair perfectly outlined the delicate structure of her face, falling all the way down her back to puddle on the floor behind her. She seemed to be still very young, but despite her fragile looking body, she held herself as if she were in command of a calm type of strength.

"I find it strange that I do not recognize you, young lady. For surely I would remember anyone with such striking blue eyes."

"Ah, forgive me!" Shocked out of her silence, Kaoru stood clumsily to her feet and bowed low out of respect. "I am Kamiya Kaoru. I am very pleased to meet you, Kinuko-dono."

"Kamiya? I am afraid I do not recognize this name." A small frown formed on her brow. "Is this noble name new?"

"Uh… kind of." Kinuko looked uncertain, and Kaoru chewed on her lip. "Actually… I am not really a noble lady. I was… taken in by a noble, and have been treated like a lady, but… Kamiya is the name of my father, and he is but a samurai."

A smile curved her red lips, and Kinuko chided her lightly. "Do not belittle the title, young Kaoru-dono. The title of samurai contains much honor. The noble that has taken you in must see this as well, or he would not treat you like a lady."

"Oh no." Shaking her head quickly, Kaoru disagreed, her feet stepping closer to the shoji. "I doubt he would know how to treat me any other way, even if I were the daughter of a fisherman. He was… taught very good manners."

"I see." Kinuko's gaze became a touch intense, before her smile reappeared. "I wonder, though, if his manners have much to do with it."

Confused, Kaoru blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Just a passing thought. Tell me, Lady Kaoru, how is that you came to be here, in my son's rooms?"

"Uh…" Darting a quick glance at Kenshin's prone figure, still breathing deeply, still unaware of the world, she chewed her lip again, uncertain.

"Are you perhaps acquainted with my son somehow?"

Meeting her gaze hesitantly, Kaoru let her lip go and nodded slowly. "Y-yes. I… have been able to spend… a lot of time with Kenshin."

Impossibly, her high eyebrows rose higher. "Indeed. Enough time to so easily address him by name."

Kaoru colored prettily and dropped her eyes to the floor. "He said he didn't mind if I didn't use a title, as long as I wasn't being disrespectful. He still uses one when he addresses me, though."

"It is strange that I have heard nothing of you from him, when I have asked him many times if there is a young lady that has caught his eye." Slowly Kaoru lifted her gaze back to the lady, her chin still ducked into her chest. "Why do you think he would keep your existence a secret when he obviously respects you enough to address you by a title you do not hold?"

Cornered, Kaoru glanced at Kenshin again. _What should I do? If I tell her the truth she would never believe me, but… this a vision… or perhaps just a dream? The veiled lady didn't tell me not to do or say anything. _Frowning briefly, Kaoru shook her head in disagreement with herself. _Who says any of this is real at all? Just because you want to believe it is doesn't mean that it's true. You've been hearing many stories from everyone, and this is more than likely just some illusion you have created in your mind from all of those tales of the past._

"That is because, Lady Kinuko, this Kenshin hasn't met me."

"This Kenshin?"

Slowly, Kaoru stepped up into the room and crossed the floor to kneel by Kenshin's head, so that the lady and herself were adjacent, but halfway facing one another. "He is much younger than the Kenshin I know, and in a way, he is much softer as well. Instead of crying, the Kenshin I know would become angry and withdrawn."

"That is not comforting to know, Kaoru-dono. That tells me only that his innocence truly has been lost after this moment."

"You believe me?" Surprised, Kaoru watched his mother smile sadly down at his sleeping form.

"Should I not?"

"Well…"

"There is nothing that suggests you are lying. From your straightforward manner to your strange dialect, your name that I do not recognize, the fact that I have never seen you before and yet you seem to know me and my son, but mostly, from the very beginning I had my suspicions because, young lady, that kimono you are wearing… that belongs to me."

Eyes darting down to look at herself, Kaoru realized for the first time that she was indeed wearing one of the court kimono that Kenshin had given to her to wear. One of the many that had belonged to his mother.

"If you are wearing it, that means only one thing. That my son has given my kimono to a girl that he cares deeply for… but also, that I am no longer around."

Sadness pulled on Kaoru's features when she met Kinuko's eyes again, and from the look she could tell that the lady had read everything that she needed to know. Opening her mouth to stutter something, anything to either deny or soothe the thought of the lady's own passing, Kaoru trailed off as Kinuko smoothly talked over her.

"Would you tell me about my son? From everything you have already said, I can guess that he is this noble who took you in and has cared for you."

Pausing, Kaoru swallowed, but decided it was probably best to let the conversation be steered in this direction. Nodding, she let her sight drift down to the boy laying on the floor between them. "Yes."

"And what is he like, this Kenshin that you know?"

Within the question Kaoru could detect the doubt she had expected. Not truly disbelieving her words, but wanting to compare the description she would give to what Kinuko knew for certain about her own child. Relieved with this, Kaoru's lips quirked into a smile. "Well… at first he was very stern and disapproving of everything. He didn't like the way I dressed, or the way I acted because it just wasn't proper. We fought a lot, and I always thought he was angry with me, which made me a bit disagreeable, but… I realize now that he was just uncomfortable and unsure. Underneath, he's really very caring, he wants to protect everyone, it… hurts him that he couldn't." Eyebrow twitching, Kaoru looked down into her lap, and tried to think of something else. "A lot of the time, he is the most intelligent person I have ever met… sometimes he's the dumbest, too." Laughing at an obscure thought, she looked up with that smile showing her white teeth. "He wishes he could be more like his brother. He is always speaking of how wise and kind Shinta-sama is, but… I think Kenshin has the potential to be better. He is a great master, and he takes care of his people the way a parent would take care of their children."

"This Kenshin you describe sounds very mature." Whether she was purposely ignoring all of the insinuations about the lifestyle Kaoru was painting, or hadn't caught onto the fact that there was no one else but Kenshin around Kaoru wasn't sure, but she seemed determined to speak only of him. "However, you haven't told me anything exactly personal about him."

"Ah…" Uncertain what she wanted, Kaoru blinked and fished about for something personal that she knew.

"You have told me what anyone simply living near him would see. Tell me something that only you know."

Abruptly laughing, Kaoru lifted a brow in disbelief. "That's kinda hard, since the servants pretty well know everything." Kinuko smiled and nodded in concession, but her eyes were encouraging. Clearing her throat, Kaoru fought back her amusement to make room for thought. "Well…" Struggling, sifting through all of her memories, weighing and dismissing many small quirks or different sides of his personality she had witnessed, she frowned. _Something that only I know? Everyone else has been around him far longer than me. What could I possibly know that they don't by now?_ Misao's squeaky voice popped into her head, a vague memory from many weeks back. _"I've never seen the master smile before."_ Amazed realization lit her face, and she thought of their flight a few days back. Suddenly eager, she leaned toward Lady Kinuko as their eyes locked together.

"The other day I was lucky enough to see him truly excited about something he wished to share. He's always so poised and in control of himself, even when he smiles or occasionally laughs. This time, though, his smile was more like that of a boy's. A very mischievous boy. And his laughter. It was so open and carefree." Bright sapphire eyes clenched shut and she giggled softly. "It was the first time I ever truly felt that he was happy. Completely, absolutely, happy. I felt so fortunate, since I was the one he chose to share that side of himself with. I could almost imagine him as a child, still innocent and untainted."

Lady Kinuko smiled, her hand reaching back out to rest on Kenshin's shoulder. "Even I have not seen that in many years. I have become so used to his emotionless mask, it is hard for me to recognize the young boy I used to hold in my lap."

Gaze drawn to the light contact between mother and son, Kaoru let her eyes drift to the features partially obscured by the fall of his bangs. "I hardly recognize this Kenshin, either." Without thinking, her fingers reached to brush back his hair, her touch a ghosting brush against his smooth skin. "It feels so… strange to see him like this."

"Is he really so different?"

Surprised, Kaoru jerked her head up, the image of her Kenshin popping into her head unwillingly. It was thoughtless of her to insinuate a change in appearance to his mother. Of course she would be curious to know, and Kaoru did not wish to explain for fear of upsetting her. "Well…" Glancing down, she gasped in abrupt shock, her hand recoiling from his hair. Kinuko followed her lead, her soft violet eyes staring at the figure now spread between them in place of her son.

"Is… is that really… my son?"

It was all the same as she remembered. The same features and details Kaoru woke up to see at breakfast every morning. Red scales covered his skin; large wings lay sprawled on top of one another across the floor; two golden horns sprouted from his hair; his ears were sharp and pointed; black claws and talons curved from his fingers and toes; and a long, thin tail with a fine tuft of furry hair curled around one leg. It was Kenshin, cursed to reflect all of the ugliness and rage in his heart, and yet… so beautiful and caring.

Shock dissipating, affection taking over, Kaoru smiled warmly down at the man still sleeping peacefully on the floor, her fingers returning to play with his hair. "Yes, my lady. This is the Kenshin that I know."

Kinuko's lilac eyes rose to examine the expression on the young girl's face, astonished by the vision before her, and yet more so by the sudden surfacing of adoration in the girl's voice. Not only was it strange for her to claim that she knew her son, and yet not the son that she knew, it was even stranger to realize that the normal and handsome appearance of her son at fifteen had not pulled out this reaction of fondness like the manifestation of this alarming man in her son's place.

"His appearance is a bit startling at first, but in a way it makes him even more endearing. I'm constantly catching him scratching at these horns. He says they itch more than anything." Lightly her nails scrapped his scalp. "And he has this funny line of hair down his spine, and his tail has a mind of its own, I swear. His wings are actually usable, and he's even taken me flying. It's the most wonderful experience. Oh, and his eyes are closed, but they kind of look like a cat's, with vertical pupils, and they're still warm and golden. When he laughs, though, the pupils widen and he looks so very gentle and sweet." Voice trailing off, her eyes landed on one curled hand, the dark claws shiny and dangerous. Smile fading, she sighed.

"He has a hard time holding things without breaking them, though." Mind reversing to backtrack over every disadvantage, Kaoru became sober. "His clothing had to be modified so he could wear a kimono because of his wings, and he can't wear shoes at all because of his feet. His scales snag the silk material. They make it hard for any wounds to heal. He can't sleep on his back, and I know he doesn't sleep laying down anymore at all. He hides behind his hair."

Feeling sympathy for the sadness now infecting the young girl, Kinuko sighed as well. "My son has done that since the age of seven. Now, I suppose, he simply has more to hide."

Kaoru's lip twisted bitterly. "He thinks he is ugly. I know because he never looks in a mirror. It makes me sad, and yet angry at the same time. I want him to be happy… but I don't know if that's possible when he cannot be happy with himself. The way he looks does not bother me, because it is the only way I know to see him. It bothers him, though. It makes him unhappy. I wish…" Letting the thought drift, her eyes fell to her lap. He would be happier if he were himself again, and yet, according to Tomoe the curse could not be broken unless he was happy first. It seemed like such an impossibility. How was she supposed to do this by herself?

"It has taken me awhile, Kaoru-chan, but I can see my son in this man you have shown to me. There are many differences, many more cares furrowing his brow, but… at the heart, he is still the same boy I used to know." Kaoru looked up, and Kinuko smiled softly. "You said this is the only way you know to see him. I would like to show you what I see when I look at my boy." Carefully her hand touched the top of Kaoru's own hand still resting on Kenshin's skull. A bright, rapidly flashing image popped into her mind, and her breath froze as she blinked in confusion. As her mind cleared she found herself watching as Kinuko bent gracefully forward and scooped up a child into her lap.

Incredulous, Kaoru stared incomprehensively at the pair and wondered at the strange turn her dream, or whatever it was, had taken. In place of the teenager, in place of the dragon-formed man, there was now a child of perhaps four or five. Still sleeping, he let his mother curl his limbs comfortably into her lap as her arms wrapped protectively around him. Limply his head rolled to lean against her collarbone, his bright red hair an unruly mess, his features a picture of trust, adorable and sweet in slumber. No cares troubled him in sleep. He was total innocence.

"This is who my son truly is, no matter what his age or appearance. If you can help him remember this, you will have no problem making him happy." Lifting her smiling adoration up towards Kaoru, Kinuko's lilac eyes were glowing with maternal love. "I do not think you should fret, Kaoru-chan. After all, you have already brought out a part of this boy."

"But…" Soft and breathless, she stared, her heart suddenly aching with envy. "How can you be so sure that…?" Stopping herself in that frantic fear of upsetting a sleeping child, she caught her breath as long red lashes fluttered, his little mouth pulling wide in a yawn.

"Mommy?" Rubbing at his eyes, he directed their sleep heavy gaze upwards at his mother. "Who you talking to?"

Smiling down at him, Kinuko brushed back his hair. "Why don't you see for yourself, baby." Adjusting him so that he was sitting up in her lap facing Kaoru, he parted his lashes a bit further to take in Kaoru's seated form. A couple lazy blinks, and his eyes opened completely, taking Kaoru by complete surprise as she gazed into a pair of violet eyes a shade darker than his mother's. As her face relaxed into amazement, his pulled into a boyish grin. "Do you recognize the lady, Kenshin?" Nodding enthusiastically, he leaned back and pressed the crown of his head into his mother's sternum so that he was looking up at her. "You do?" Teasing, she tickled his stomach.

"Uh-huh." Giggling and squirming, he tried to catch her wiggling fingers.

Letting up, Kinuko wrapped him in a hug, her nose nestling into his soft hair. "Can you tell me her name, sweetheart?"

Amethyst eyes looked straight across the short distance into Kaoru's own blue, his voice sure and even. "Kaoru-dono."

"That's right, sweetie." Praising him, Kinuko let her grip loosen. "And what do you think of Kaoru-dono? Is she nice?"

"Yep. Nice like Mommy, but…" Pursing his little lips, he seemed undecided for a moment. "different, too."

"Oh? How?"

Shrugging, he grabbed at a stray hair that fell over Kinuko's shoulder, looking a bit bashful. "I don't know."

Laughing gently, Kinuko encouraged his hand away from her hair. "Alright, silly boy. Do you like having her around?"

"Uh-huh." Enthusiastic once again, he grinned and pushed himself up out of his mother's lap to hop the short distance into Kaoru's. Caught off guard, Kaoru steadied him, her eyes wide as his little arms wrapped around her neck tightly. "I want Kaoru-dono to stay with me forever." Something sharp trembled in Kaoru's chest, and her eyes closed, her breath hitching at his next innocently asked question. "You will, won't you?"

Circling her arms around him to return the hug, allowing him room to squirm and climb fully into her lap, she squeezed carefully. "For as long as I can." Seemingly content with the answer, her rested his chin on her shoulder and began playing with the collar of her kimono. Little fingers slipping from silk to her neck, she felt his grip pull at the metal chain of her necklace, the glass petal slipping against her skin underneath her clothing.

"Do you like the necklace I made you?"

With her eyes closed and his voice a mere whisper, she frowned as the childishness of moments before left and his tone sounded more like the adult she knew. Swallowing, but unwilling to open her eyes and break whatever spell she was under, she nodded. "Yes. You know I do, Kenshin."

"I am glad you have worn it all this time. It feels like… you have kept a part of me with you." The hand tugging at the chain released it to catch and flop onto the outside of her kimono where it was in sight. It made her smile, because it only solidified her theory that he liked it in sight, where he could see it clearly. "I like being with you, Kaoru-dono."

"I like being with you, too."

Slowly allowing her eyes to open once more, she blinked down at the boy still in her arms. Sitting sideways in her lap now, his back braced against one of her arms, he was playing intently with the necklace, his tiny fingers careful of the fragile bauble hanging from its chain. Upon noticing that she was looking at him again, his attention shifted to her. Smiling bashfully, he blushed and turned his face into her kimono, his hands dropping from her necklace to bury into the silk. It was cute, innocent, and very sweet, and she giggled airily at the actions that seemed so out of character for the man she knew.

"It seems my son is very happy with you, Kaoru-chan." Startled, Kaoru jerked her gaze up to the woman she had almost forgotten was in the room. Blushing, she bit her lip.

"Do you think so?"

"Yes. Now you just need to make sure he realizes that. You need to let the feeling grow."

Blush darkening, Kaoru opened her mouth to reply when a sharp knock behind her made her jump.

"My lady, the master is asking for you."

Kinuko looked over Kaoru's shoulder and made a reply, but Kaoru was focused on the voice of the servant and missed what was said. Turning her head quickly to see the owner, she slumped in disappointment when she found no one in the doorway. That voice… had definitely belonged to Misao.

"It looks as if our time is up, Kaoru-chan. It was a pleasure to meet you, and a joy to know that my son will not always be alone." Standing gracefully to her feet, she patted a hand on top of Kenshin's small head and smiled once more at Kaoru.

"Wait." Catching a hand in the folds of her kimono, Kaoru stopped her. "May I ask you a personal question?"

"You may ask me anything, Kaoru-chan."

"Do you love your husband?" All of the pieces of information that had been gathered in her mind were a whirling contradiction, and perhaps it was simply nosiness that had birthed the question, but Kaoru wanted to know. If she didn't ask now, she would never have the chance, even if it wasn't real.

The smile on Kinuko's face became a bit smaller, a bit sadder. "Truthfully, my dear girl… I do." Frown lines began to appear all over Kaoru's face, and Kinuko touched her shoulder to silence her protests. "Do not try to understand why, young lady. You will never see him the way I do, just as no one will ever see Kenshin the way you see him; scales, claws, and all. A man will show a side of himself to a woman that no one else has the privilege of seeing, but only when that woman is special to him. You will understand one day." Her smile grew once more. "Soon, I think. Goodbye, Kaoru-chan. I do not believe we will ever meet again."

Lady Kinuko disappeared out the open shoji and down the hall, leaving Kaoru alone in the room with Kenshin. Turning her attention back to the boy, she started at finding him gone, and in his place the Kenshin she knew. Sprawled on the floor, his wings spread wide, his head pillowed in her lap, and he smiled while he dreamed.

X

A/N: Holy shit! I'm done! Finally! Thank you God! Alright. So this chapter was way, way long, and perhaps it had a lot to do with why it took me forever to get this done, but, ahem, we all know that it is not the main culprit. My weakness… I have an obsessive nature. Once I start in on a story it consumes my world and I just have to know how it ends. Downside to writing… I know how it ends. Downside to reading… I don't. So, it took some badgering from all sides just to get me back into my story. It's actually a good thing I have people I know reading this story, or it might have gotten thrown onto the back burner for longer than I wanted. Anywho… everyone say thanks to my g-ma and my coworker…lol.

Ok, so not really exciting, but, needed for some things. This chapter is a building into the next few, as a lot of you could probably guess. I wanted to have the conversation with Misao at the beginning, but I've been planning this whole crazy interaction with Kenshin's mom for awhile. If you got confused about whether it was a dream or a vision, don't be alarmed… you're supposed to be confused. If you didn't like the crazy twist the dream took, I'm sorry… but another necessity. You'll see later, and hopefully it will make sense. I'm going to stop, because I don't like giving stuff away, and since my brain is nearly fried, it is a high probability.

So anyway, just tell me what you think, oh, and thanks again to sirenmergirl for giving me all this wonderful trivia about the era that Kenshin is loosely from. I use the term loosely very firmly, if that makes sense, because I'm sure I've stretched this whole thing to the max, and pretty much created my own culture. You are awesome! Keeping me in line is not easy! Alright, next chapter… new hairdos, squirmy feelings, and used chopsticks. Buh-bye. REVIEW!


	33. Fireflies

For those who asked, I got caught up reading a manga called Skip Beat! And yes the exclamation point is part of the title. It's really fun and spunky, with a bit of revenge and a bit of romance. Where I have been left hanging, there's also a bit of danger. Ooh, fun, fun. Lately I've also started reading Black Bird, which is a little, ahem, mature. I swear, the main guy is a horn dog. At least it's just for his woman, though. Also, Absolute Boyfriend, which isn't much better in mentality with the guys, but it doesn't get quite as physical. Though he is always chasing her around asking if she wants to have sex yet… lmfao. They're good for a laugh, but I'm afraid AB isn't going to have a good ending no matter which way it goes, and I'm afraid BB is going to be tear jerker sad. =( Well, anyway, enough of that…

JUST READ!

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and anything connected to it does not belong to me. Everything else does.

**Chapter 33: Fireflies**

"_What's with the face, little brother? Has Tenshi been teasing you again?"_

"_No and I don't want to talk about it." Growling under his breath, Kenshin crossed his arms and continued to stare out over the pond._

"_Ah. Something your mother said then." Features twitching, the younger brother looked away. Laughing, Shinta shook his head. "Come on, Kenshin, she's your mother. She just wants to make sure you have someone to look out for you when she can't anymore."_

"_I don't need anyone to look out for me. Especially a woman. Besides, she knows Father's against it."_

"_Too bad. You'll never know what you're missing." Half-shrugging, Shinta braced his arms on the railing. "Of course, I don't think any woman we know would be able to put up with you anyway."_

"_And what's that supposed to mean?" Indignant, Kenshin rounded on his brother. The unconscious reaction of outrage made Shinta smirk._

"_Only that you're a bit of a handful, little brother. Truth be told, I think your mother's too soft on you. You need someone who won't put up with your temper." Ignoring Kenshin as he began to grumble, Shinta leaned over the railing to look at their reflections in the water. "A woman who isn't afraid to talk back. One just as strong as you."_

"…_Mother said the same thing." Lifting a brow as he looked up at his younger brother from his bent position, Shinta blinked at the frown of confusion on Kenshin's face. "But it was different this time. She wasn't being troublesome or questioning, she… said that she wasn't worried anymore. She said that I was going to be just fine, because…" His eyebrows twitched and his voice turned surly. "one day I was going to find someone persistent and caring enough to see through all my pretenses, and strong enough to put me in my place." Shinta's eyes were wide when Kenshin glanced at him, and his frown deepened. "She says it like I'm still a child. Like I should be grateful to know I'll have some woman ordering me around as well as Father."_

"_Huh. I didn't know your mother could be so blunt."_

"_It's not funny! Mother's been acting much too pleased with her fantasy! I thought she understood!" Jerking his head away, his hands fisted on the railing, and his jaw clenched. If he didn't get his emotions under control he would say something that would get him in trouble if his father ever found out._

"_There's no need to get so worked up. I don't think your mother is wishing for a woman that would take control of you life, just one that will not be afraid to tell you what she thinks." Placing a hand on his shoulder, Shinta's voice lowered. "She understands, Kenshin."_

_Kenshin rolled his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. She's just being fanciful."_

_Teasing again, Shinta laughed. "What? You don't think your mom knows what she's talking about?"_

"_I told you, she was acting strange. One minute she was being completely vague, and the next she was much too specific. It didn't make any sense."_

"_She is being hopeful, Kenshin, not strange. If she is being more specific about what traits she wants in a daughter-in-law then that is completely natural."_

"_No, Shinta-sama. I am used to hearing her wish for me to find a beautiful and kind lady, but this time she didn't ask, she told me."_

"_That you were going to find someone beautiful and kind? Kenshin…" Trying hard not to laugh, Shinta closed his eyes. "I don't think you would pick anyone that you didn't find beautiful."_

"_If all you're going to do is make fun of me, then I do not wish to continue the conversation." Jerking to walk away, Kenshin growled. "I do not know why we are speaking on this ridiculous subject anyway."_

"_Wait, little brother." Grabbing his arm, Shinta suppressed his grin. "I apologize, I did not mean to make fun. Please… tell me what is troubling you about your mother."_

_Uncomfortable now, not sure if he wanted to say, embarrassed that the conversation was happening at all, and now wondering if Shinta even cared what he said, he reluctantly leaned back against the railing and looked away. "It wasn't so much that she told me this lady would be beautiful, or caring, or understanding, or any of that, but more that… she specifically said… her eyes… they would be blue." Frowning at the wooden planking below his feet, he crossed his arms again, remembering that troubling sensation he had experienced when his mother had spoken to him so plainly. "It was… a bit eerie. She was completely serious and certain. How can she be so convinced of such a minute detail? And why would it matter?"_

_Silence extended between them, and finally Kenshin glanced up at his older brother. There was a strange expression on his face, his eyes unfocused, his lips partially open. "Shinta-sama?"_

"_Blue, huh? I don't know why, but… that feels right." Whatever deep thoughts were consuming his attention seemed to drag him down farther, his irises turning glassy. "And spunky, not exactly lady-like, either. Spirited. That's better suited. But blue eyes. Yes, I'm positive her eyes were blue."_

"_Shinta-sama!"_

_Snapping out of his daze, he blinked at his younger brother as he shook him sharply. Caught somewhere between shock and disorientation, Shinta frowned. "I'm sorry, little brother. What were we talking about?"_

_Searching him over suspiciously, Kenshin dropped his arm. Something strange was going on, but a part of him did not want to see it. "Nothing." His stomach knotted in disagreement and he shook his head. "It was nothing, Shinta-sama."_

X

Kaoru was smiling again. It was just a small quirk of her lips, but her eyes were closed and she seemed to be caught in some emotion of delight or amusement, Kenshin couldn't tell which. Whatever the reason for her expression, Kenshin himself was struggling with being pleased, amused himself, and just a bit uncertain. The tickling sensation of warning he was beginning to associate with her quirky sense of humor and spontaneous bursts of energy was buzzing insistently in the back of his mind. The young lady in his palace was planning something, and Kenshin was a little surprised to find he was looking forward to whatever it was.

Surprised, because the tension between them was at an all time high. After what had happened, he could no longer act the same, and he could not pretend that his apology would sweep it away. A part of him wished he could, because this new tension made him too aware of her presence; too aware of her movements. There was a certain edge to his own actions in consequence, and more than once her blue eyes had told him that she was noticing. Even if he acted like her nearness annoyed him, though, there was this strange swell of expectance growing inside his chest. The smallest things triggered it, too, such as the lingering scent of her soap in the bath, or catching her eyes quickly looking away over the dinner table. Sometimes the feeling was so strong it made it hard to breathe. Sometimes… he wanted to corner her and find out what would happen.

Swallowing, he strategically tilted his head so that his bangs fell forward to curtain his face and stared down at his plate. As ignorant as he was with relationships, he was not naïve enough to think that whatever might happen would be innocent. That meant his thoughts were not innocent. Brows twitching, his eyes closed. That meant it was not allowed. It was becoming extremely difficult for him to sort out what was and was not allowed anymore. Just as it was getting harder and harder for him to figure out what it was he wanted.

A small part of him was beginning to realize that no matter what he wanted, he would never act upon it if it were to conflict with what he thought that she wanted.

A cold burst of sadness dropped into his gut, and he frowned. It was a reaction that was occurring more and more frequently as the days passed, and he was still unsure what was causing it. It was connected to Kaoru somehow. These days, though, everything he thought of was connected to her.

Glancing up through his bangs, he watched her smile widened to show teeth and she braced her elbow on the table so she could drop her chin into her hand. The carefree expression and obvious delight made him unconsciously smile in return. It must be a sweet memory plaguing her thoughts. A sudden blush of red tinted her cheeks and she bit her lip, holding back whatever sound wished to escape her, and his smile faded. Just what was it that she was thinking about anyway? A tinge of jealousy burned away the sorrow.

Was it him? Was it _his _touch; _his _actions; _his _blunder? Golden eyes narrowed. No, it couldn't be that. Kaoru had not blushed then, in fact her face had been so pale he feared she might faint. Something else was affecting her. Did he dare to think it was _someone _else? His jaw clenched. No. It was best not to. Only the first glimmer of the thought made him feel irrational. If he were to study the notion intently… he might not survive. Someone else might not survive, either.

Dark eyelashes parted softly, a dreamy look in her sapphire irises, and she sighed before darting a glance in his direction. Startled to find him glaring out at her from within the shadows of his bangs, Kaoru lifted her head up off her chin, her eyes coming all the way open. The smile disappeared and Kenshin's first instinct was to feel shame that he was the cause, but a selfish part of him was still trying to figure out the reason for her happy contemplations in the first place. Five seconds later and he found nothing but confusion, worry, and just a small touch of hurt inside the gaze unwaveringly looking back at him. There was no guilt. Cat-like pupils dropping back to his plate he wondered if she would even feel guilt at all. It wasn't like she belonged to him.

The sadness returned, only now it felt as if it had doubled in weight.

"Kenshin?" Her voice was tentative and soft, like anyone trying to soothe a wild animal. "Is there something wrong?"

_Yes, in so many different ways. Though, I couldn't explain them if I wanted to._ "No, my lady." Pulling in a deep breath, he tried to calm the pounding of blood in his ears. "It is only something that has been… troubling my mind." Brow twitching, he embellished on the half-lie for clarification and distraction. "A… non-personal issue."

"Oh." There was relief in her voice and he congratulated himself on successfully fooling her. "Is it anything I can help you with?"

"You need not trouble yourself, Kaoru-dono. I will… figure it out soon enough."

"Well, maybe you're just thinking about it too hard, Kenshin. You've been working so much lately, you probably just need to take time and relax."

Pressing his knuckles into the bridge of his nose he clenched his eyes shut against the birth of a small headache. _Work has become more relaxing than being around you._ "Yeah. Probably."

"Great! How about we do something tonight?"

Blinking, his chin lifted involuntarily to look her in the eye. "What?"

"I was thinking we could do something fun and relaxing. It'll be late, so you don't have to worry about it interfering with any plans you have this afternoon."

"What do you think we could do so late in the evening?" For a very strange reason the rhythm of his heart became erratic, and that expectance in his chest twisted like a wet rag being wrung out.

"I heard Shigure-san say the fireflies are coming back. I love watching fireflies, and I thought it would be fun to sit out in one of the gardens and eat dinner with little fireflies dancing around." There was a childlike, dreamy quality to her voice that eased the anxious, hopeful throbbing in his chest. If he could keep that innocence in the forefront of his thoughts, he would not expect… whatever it was he was subconsciously expecting. Even still, disappointment was lurking in his gut.

"I'm afraid I will have to decline." The eager smile on her face fell, and her bottom lip pouted out ever so slightly. "But that does not mean you cannot still go, Kaoru-dono. I will have something simple sent to my office that way Tae-san can fix whatever it is you wish to eat tonight."

For a couple seconds the frown on her face stuck, but then she took a breath and shrugged nonchalantly. "No, that's alright. If you're too busy I can easily wait until tomorrow. It was kind of last minute, anyway."

Amber eyes studied her features as she picked up her teacup, their stare just a bit intense. "You don't have to wait for me."

Her gaze reconnected with his, her face blank, and then she smiled teasingly. "But it would be no fun by myself, Kenshin. After all, a good view is only enjoyable when it's shared, right?"

His heart throbbed with the remembered words and he closed his eyes. "Then invite someone else."

The teacup came back down on the table with a bit more force than necessary, popping his eyes back open in shock. "I don't want someone else." She wasn't looking at him, her eyes focused instead on her lap, and her choice of words widened his eyes. "To go with me." The phrase was added as an afterthought, but it relaxed the muscles in his shoulders, and he briefly wondered when they had tensed. "Jeez, Kenshin. I asked you." Muttering, she leaned her temple into her fist and started picking at the rest of her food.

Though she was clearly irritated and he knew he should feel contrite for purposefully causing it, a small blossom of satisfaction took root in his mind. "Then I suppose I should go." A soft smile was tugging at his habitual frown lines, and he conveniently forgot about all of the tension they had been sharing. Curiously, his concession did not make her happy.

"It's fine, Kenshin. You don't have to humor me."

"But I would like to go."

"You just said you didn't."

Bewildered, Kenshin stretched his neck to see if he could catch a glimpse of her features around her hair. Shouldn't she now be happy that he was going to go? Why was she arguing? "I did not realize it was so important to my lady."

"It's not that important, besides, now it's like I'm forcing you."

"You are not forcing me."

"Just… leave it alone, ok Kenshin? It's fine. You don't want to go and I'm not going to make you."

Getting just a bit irritable himself, Kenshin's voice became firm. "But I do want to go."

"Well I don't, so just drop it!"

Panic took the sudden place of anger and he froze as tears infected her voice. _She's crying! I made her cry!_ The hand and hair blocking his view made it that much more obvious now that he knew their true purpose. It had been the only clue since her breathing was normal and she wasn't shaking like the last time she had cried. These were different tears, though, her hurt was different.

"Kaoru-dono." Reaching across the short expanse of table between them, he carefully gripped her wrist in his hand. Slowly she sat up without any urging and he could see the streaks of tears on her face. Nothing else about her expression suggested she was sad, however. In fact, she looked angry. She didn't fight him, though, and her arm was relaxed in the clutch of his fingers.

Frowning, the width of his pupils widened in regret, inwardly berating himself for causing her sorrow. "Forgive me. I did not mean to make you cry." Hesitantly his other hand came forward, his touch careful as he brushed at her tears. Emotions calming under the tentative caress, her bottom lip quivered and the anger melted off her face. "I was being selfish. I should not have baited you." A crease formed between her brows. "I would love nothing more than to spend time with you tonight."

Sniffing once, her tear-spiked lashes lowered. "Why did you change you're mind?" Bottom lip pouting out, her frown returned. "And you better not say it's because I'm being stupid and crying."

Amused, his mouth quirked. "No. I was… happy knowing my lady wishes to share this with no one else but me. I had thought it did not matter who went with you."

One eyebrow lifted, her mouth parting to show the extent of her incredulity, and for a moment he felt very foolish. "Idiot. I asked you, didn't I? That means I want you to go. Not anyone else. If I had wanted someone else, I would have asked them." Without warning her whole demeanor deflated, and she hung her head. "I've ruined the whole thing now. It won't be any fun at all." Wiping roughly at her face, she sighed despondently. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. I made it into such a big deal when it wasn't."

_Why is she apologizing? I was the one being insecure._ "Do not worry so much, Kaoru-dono. Nothing has been ruined. We'll still have plenty of fun together."

Blue eyes looked up at him, wide and vulnerable. "Really?"

The response was so childlike it made him smile, and he swept her bangs back with the hand still touching her face. "Of course."

"Okay." Curiously, she blushed, and the smile that touched her lips was not broad with childish glee, but small and bashful. Blinking, his awareness expanded to allow room for more than just reassurance, and he clearly saw what he was doing. He was still holding her wrist, he was still touching her face (only now he seemed to be playing with her hair), and he was leaning so far over the table he might as well be eating her food. _How did we get so close together?_ Jerking back as if she might burn him, his insecurities returned in a whole new form, and for the first time in his life he was thankful for his red scales.

A quick glance up at her sapphire irises showed no surprise for his actions, though. Instead, her smile widened, looking decidedly secretive and mysterious. The silent, awkward stillness continued for a few moments longer as she chewed her lip, and then she turned back to her food. When she spoke, it was as if her words were offhand and thoughtful.

"Maybe instead of just watching the fireflies we should eat a little earlier. That way we can catch the sunset and the first star, too. Besides, if we're eating while the fireflies are out, we'll miss really getting to watch them. What do you think, Kenshin?"

"Uh."

"It'll be really nice, with just the two of us."

_Just us?_

"And I've always thought watching the sunset is very relaxing."

_Relaxing. Right._

"And with the rest of the day to think about it, you should have enough time to figure out what you want to wish for on the first star."

_What I want to wish for…_ His eyes lifted to glance at her through his hair, and he was startled when she noticed the look. That bashful smile returned and her cheeks stained lightly red again.

"I've already decided what my wish will be."

The expectance in his chest swelled to bursting and his breath caught. Was it her turn to bait him now? How was he supposed to take such a statement? Hands curling at his sides, he focused all of his discipline on battling back the surge of emotion that was trying to break free. These new emotions were confusing, and in their own way, dangerous. If he were to get the wrong idea, he might act upon those wrong ideas in an even more erroneous fashion.

"Then I will have to take some time to thoroughly think through my own wish." Face once more coolie masked, Kenshin stood from the table. "If you will excuse me, my lady, I must prepare for a meeting. I look forward to seeing you this evening."

"Oh, alright. See you later, Kenshin."

Kaoru watched Kenshin disappear through the shoji, her exhaled breath a bit shaky. Who knew this was going to be so difficult? _Or nerve-racking._

"That was great, milady!" Misao appeared at her side without warning, and Kaoru jumped, a hand going to her heart. Rolling her eyes, she laughed forcibly.

"Don't do that, Misao-san."

"Sorry." Grinning like she didn't mean it, Misao sat down. "Seriously, though, you pulled that off better than I expected for a first try. The tears were a nice touch. He was so flustered, he forgot to be nervous."

Groaning, Kaoru hid her face in both hands. "What are you talking about? I did horrible! The tears weren't even fake. It was so stupid!"

Misao blinked a couple times in surprise, but then her smile returned tenfold. "No it isn't, milady. Real tears are even better. That just means you truly love him… don't you?"

Wide sapphire eyes peeked to the side at Misao, then jumped quickly up to the back door where Tae was standing frozen with an empty tray to retrieve the dishes. When Misao noticed she looked mortified at betraying her mistress' secrets, Tae seemed undecided on whether she should apologize for eavesdropping or just flee the room, but Kaoru was still stuck on the accusation, her attention drifting back to the table. No form of denial flooded her mind, though, only warm emotion, and a smile pulled slowly at her lips. A glance between the two still in the room showed them to be looking to her for a clue on how to act, and she closed her eyes and nodded happily.

"Yeah."

Misao gave an ecstatic whoop, and Tae relaxed with a sigh. "How wonderful."

Still smiling, Kaoru nodded again in agreement. After all, there was little room in her thoughts to spare for anyone else anymore. He demanded her attention, he demanded her time, even though Kenshin himself made no demands of her at all. She wanted him to know how she felt. She wanted to make sure he had no doubts, but she would not push him either. If his feelings were to develop to parallel hers, then she could not demand. She wanted his love, but she also wanted him to be happy. If she had to sacrifice her own love for that to happen, to break the curse and set him free, then so be it.

She just hoped she wasn't being selfish by going about it the way that she was. Ever since she had woken up that morning, all she could think about were the words spoken to her in a dream. Words whispered into her ear by a much younger version of the man she was in love with. _"I want Kaoru-dono to stay with me forever." _ How she wanted that to be true. The plan she had developed for that evening was her own way of testing to see what his true feelings for her were. Misao's theory of making sure he understood her intentions was only a cover. Of course she wanted him to understand how she felt for him, but a curious, expectant part of her wanted to know if her dream was only that and nothing more. It had felt so real, so certain, so right.

_And Kenshin as a child was just too cute!_ Thoughts returning to her daydreams, she unconsciously mimicked the same expression Kenshin had caught her in. Completely unaware the dazed giddiness reflected on her face was the cause of their earlier misunderstanding, Kaoru suppressed another giggle.

"Milady." Openly amused, Misao laughed. "I am happy that you are happy, but you might want to refrain from showing that expression to the master." Reverie busted by reality, Kaoru blinked open her eyes to look at Misao in question. "It will only confuse him, since he doesn't know that it is him you think about while looking so pleased."

"Uh…"

Misao laughed again, and waved Tae over. "Anyway, milady, why don't you explain to the both of us what you have planned for this private party."

X

A small shake of his head forced Kenshin to refocus, his attention hard to maintain on his duties for the entire afternoon. Features frowning in a rather wry fashion, he scratched roughly at his scalp and growled as he reread the paper in his hand for the third time. Barely finished with two lines his eyes drifted up towards the wall in front of him, his sight turning inward. _I wonder if she only asked me because she thinks I need to take a break. _Rerunning the speculation through his mind for what was not the first time, Kenshin scowled._ It's not like it's something… special. Right?_

_Of course not._ Quickly disagreeing, he lifted the paper again. _You should be content with the knowledge that she asked you at all. Stop trying to pick it apart. If she enjoys your company on any level than you should be happy._ Sighing, he dropped the paper and rubbed a hand over his face. _So why am I not?_

"My lord." Looking sideways to the door, Kenshin welcomed the distraction.

"What is it, Musashino?"

"The lady has sent a message for you."

Unable to suppress the reaction, Kenshin perked up. "Let's hear it."

"She wishes to apologize for the inconvenience, but would like to request that you dress in something slightly more formal for this evening's dinner."

Surprised, Kenshin's brow line lifted. _For a picnic?_

"She realizes this might sound impractical, but she is hoping you will humor her."

Still baffled, Kenshin waved a hand. "Very well." _Do I even have anything more formal than what I'm already wearing?_ Watching as Musashino acknowledged the acceptance and left to deliver the reply, Kenshin sat in contemplation for a couple seconds before filing away the loose papers and standing. _If that is the case, I'd better start getting ready now._

Unable to concentrate on work anyway, he stopped trying to fight the natural flow of his thoughts. This was a new piece to the puzzle of Kamiya Kaoru and her intentions and he couldn't help but wonder about every aspect of her actions. From purposefully making it clear that he was the one she wished to spend time with, to the blush on her face because of his words and nearness, to this latest wish of dressing up for a simple, almost rustic, meal. A meal they were eating together, though. Alone. Shaking his head, Kenshin grumbled low in his throat. _We always take our meals together, and we are always alone._

_But she intentionally pointed out that we will be, and this is the first time she has requested I dine with her when we haven't been fighting._ Somehow, this time felt different. In consequence, there was a knot of anxiety tightening his stomach, nervous of the implications. It was already true that their relationship could no longer be classified as only friendship, but it also seemed that they were hanging suspended in a place in between. Kenshin was unsure what to call it, unsure which way he wanted them to go, but unconsciously he was reacting to the signals he was receiving. Kaoru was asking him to eat an unordinary meal, in a specific place, alone, while they watch the sun set and then later the fireflies as they dance together, their soft glow the only light in a dark world. _And there will be no table to separate us. _Already the situation seemed intimate, and now she was asking he dress in attire that was not everyday. If it was not to be an everyday interaction, then that meant it was… special.

Looking down at his clothing, he ran a hand over the silk of his golden colored kimono. Small snags in the cloth were visible upon closer inspection, a hem along one sleeve was beginning to fray. There were spots on the knees of his hakama that were already starting to look worn, and a small rip near one foot showed where one of his talons had caught and tore at the fabric. They were not details he usually paid any attention to. In the back of his mind these were work clothes, and just as his samurai attire had acquired tears and snags, he had thought nothing unusual about seeing such obvious wear.

Eyes widening in alarm, a small voice in his head urgently reprimanded him for not noticing these things to begin with. This was a special occasion in the mind of his lady, it would be shameful of him to show up wearing such ragged clothing. It was disgraceful already that she would have to point it out to him. He should have taken more care in his actions and appearance. _Kaoru appreciates beautiful things. If I am to show up as I am, then that would certainly detract from her enjoyment of the evening._ Anxiety tightening, he knew his mother would be disappointed.

The only evident problem for this desire to please was his own limited wardrobe. Not only was he unable to wear anything besides what had been modified to fit him, but everything that had been fixed had at one time belonged to his father. An insistent need inside of him demanded that he find an outfit that was agreeable. Unfortunately, it was still hard for him not to remember just who these clothes used to belong to. It was no one else's fault but his own, since he had forbid them from cutting up his own clothing, but it still felt wrong when he dressed in the mornings. Somehow, though, it felt more unsuitable than usual tonight. This was personal. This was his moment. His father had no right to be a part of it.

Frustration dug into his mind as he dismissed and tossed about the clothing Sae had tailored to fit him. There were still not that many, though she had been working ever since winter on making sure he had a full wardrobe to choose from. The trouble, Kenshin knew, was for the many layers they consisted of. Kaoru had wished for something formal, but because there was nothing for him to do that he would consider formal anymore, he had not requested anything of that nature from his seamstress. Of course, he had originally only asked for two or three complete sets at the most and there were many more than that in his room.

Growling, he carelessly flung another kimono to the side. Either they were too common, or he remembered in striking detail a moment in which his father had worn it. Since most of the memories including his father were bitter, he was loathe to let that emotion taint his mood and in consequence his lady's evening. Already in danger of becoming surly as he was unable to follow Kaoru's request to his satisfaction, his hand paused over a carefully folded, jet black kimono.

His father had only worn it once, that he could recall, and it was to a social function. The memory was blurry, but then Kenshin himself had been very young at that time, so it was before Izo had started his warmongering. The only reason Kenshin was sure he even remembered was because his mother had complimented it. With his small hand held in hers and his eyes bright and full of wonder, he had stared up at the tall man he rarely got to see. The man his mother told him was called Father. Izo's golden eyes had no time to acknowledge a child, though, and Kenshin's presence had gone unnoticed, or ignored. But Kenshin had heard his parents' traded words. His mother had chosen the kimono. It would do.

Three full under layers of kimono went on first, all pure white without any decoration. The black kimono was much larger than he was used to wearing, but he remembered the few occasions he had been forced to wear such a costume. The sleeves did not hang like usual, but were wide and cut to fold flat out. There was very little embellishment to the outer layer, only a few small, circular patterns in a dark grey, placed very specifically in the cloth. Thick, matching grey cord weaved in large loops around the hem of the sleeves, their knots simple and combined with an extra length of white cord to heighten the contrast. Two similar knots hung forward off the shoulders as well. The hakama were a charcoal color, lined by an under layer of white as well. A stiff, white obi about the width of his knuckles wrapped around his waist. Against his red scales and skin, the bright white and deep black and grey amplified the tone.

Kenshin would have found the end result perhaps partially satisfying, if he didn't have so much trouble just getting it on. Trying to be careful, trying to be aware of his appearance maybe a little too much, every small hitch in his plan layered on more and more irritation; for his life, for his curse, for his karma. The scales on his skin snagged at the delicate silk, and he thought of his mother's reaction to spoiling her gift. The multiple layers made it hard to properly get the pants on… and his tail did not help. The wings on his back made sure he was unable to fully dress himself, therefore the open flaps at the back lay open and the material wrinkled. His talons wanted to catch, his claws wanted to tear, and his unbound hair wanted to fall in his face at the most inopportune moments.

Finally dressed, his annoyance about to reach its limit, he ignored the light breeze playing over the still opened flaps above his wings and snatched up a brush. He never bothered with his hair anymore, and ever since the episode between him and Kaoru after their flight, the fiery locks had been left undone. Yanking the bristles through his hair forcefully, he ignored the sharp pulls and his mind's unfair comparisons to Kaoru's gentle hand, and proceeded to mercilessly tame the unruly mess. Flipping the brush down on the floor when he was satisfied he had done the job well, not a few strands of hair still clinging to the bristles, he searched for a hair tie and began coaxing the length up off his neck. This proved to be troublesome as his claws kept getting in the way of his grip, and after a few failed attempts that felt much too loose, he angrily jerked the tie out. Digging around his room for a mirror, he fished out a small, decorative one from out of the piles of riches in his second room.

Mirrors were something he had hidden from his sight long ago, around the time the curse had disfigured him. These reasons were not thought on now, however, and he easily talked himself into bringing one out on the basis that it might be easier to do something with his hair if he could see what he was doing. Plopping down cross-legged on the floor, he propped the mirror up on a small dresser and tried again.

It was the combination of anticipation, annoyance, and a foreign desire to make his appearance pleasing that birthed the drowning emotion of despair. Hair not cooperating, the limit of his patience reached, his eyes continually drawn downward to his face, he felt himself sinking. What was he thinking? It didn't matter how he dressed himself, what he did to his hair, his presence alone would be a horrible stain on Kaoru's planned evening of beauty. He was a monster, both inside and out. A monster such as him did not deserve to sit next to her and witness the serenity of her precious life, to see the world through her sapphire eyes. He could not even perform simple tasks without an absurd amount of struggle because of the price his past was exacting. He deserved the ugliness in his life. Kaoru did not.

One last futile flail of anger whipped his arm out to knock the mirror away, the glass cracking as it hit the floor and slid on the tatami mats. The misery in his stomach intensified and he bowed his head on the table, his jaw clenching as he fisted a hand in his still loose hair. _You are being foolish! What is it that has tricked you into wanting Kaoru to find delight in __**your **__appearance? No woman would ever find you pleasing. Any woman that did would have to be blind._

A gentle hand came down to cradle the back of his skull and his brow creased in sadness and shame. What a spectacle he must be. Nothing but silence filled the room, but her presence was overwhelming, building within him a wide range of emotions, from expectance to embarrassment to hopelessness. Long moments later her hand stroked down his hair, and then disappeared. Bereft without her to anchor him, his head lifted, wanting to call her back and yet knowing it was better for her if she stayed away. Her touch returned before he could decide on a course of action, and he closed his eyes as the brush pulled back through his hair.

One hand came around to encourage his lowered chin up, and he was surprised when she forewent her usual braid and began gathering all his hair up off his neck. Surely she had not been there long enough to see the style he himself had been trying. Blinking as she deftly tied the strands off, he sat still as she turned her attention to his clothing. Smoothing out the wrinkles and tucking away the ties, she adjusted his collar to hide the shorter strands of hair trailing down his spine. Hand lingering on his shoulder as she brushed at the folds in the cloth, she sighed despondently and he was surprised by her show of melancholy.

"I think… I can imagine how frustrating it must be for you. I know what I wish to say, and yet… I know that I myself would be irritated at my lack of independence. Even still, I want you to know that… I do not mind doing these things for you." Brow creasing and eyes widening, the look on his face caught somewhere between shock, disbelief, and dismay. "It… makes me happy…" Voice lowering, her tone sounded small as if she was afraid of rejection or rebuke. "that I can at least do something for you… even if it is trivial."

_Why would helping me make her happy?_

"Is it okay, Kenshin… if you let me help you in this way?"

There was something about the way she asked that hinted at the truth of her intentions. It teased him, hiding just outside his understanding, like a shadow that only appears on the edge of sight but never when looked at head on. Trapped on the boundary of enlightenment, he teetered between the warmth of her questioning, and the chill of a thousand years of isolation. Swallowing down the painful thumps of his heart, he tried three times to catch his breath before he could speak.

"If that is what my lady wishes."

The hand at his back slid down his spine to brace between the base of his wings, the contact warm, even through four layers of clothing. "Your lady wishes." Kenshin stiffened and he thought his heart might have stopped. Why did it feel so distinctive when she said the words? The sound of her deep inhale brought him back to reality and then her hand pushed against him as she stood. "Now turn around and let me see you."

Quickly trying to compose himself, he stood as well before turning to face her. One look informed him of why she had requested he dress more formal. She had probably felt that her own formal attire would not look so out of place if he were dressed to match. Then again, who would mind if she was overdressed? He certainly wouldn't. She was beautiful in her own way in whatever she wore, but there was something about her wearing his mother's kimono that made his chest hurt. Perhaps it had a lot to do with what Kaoru had said to him that day so long ago. The kimono were special, because they had belonged to someone special and they were meant to be given to someone special. There was no doubt she was special to him… and the combination of the two never made that more clear.

In soft shades of lavender and blue, the many under layers vibrant and happy in hues, a tribute to the spring, she looked like a lovely, blooming flower. She was even wearing kohl around her eyes and blush on her lips. The dark hair he loved to see down was half pulled up away from her face, knotted at the back and secured by intricate kanzashi. The one accessory that caught his eye and held it, however, was the necklace he had made for her. Laying innocently, openly against her chest, he was surprised to see it in view and not hidden beneath her clothing like usual. It pleased him. Though he knew she wore it against her skin to keep it from harm, he liked seeing rather than knowing that she was wearing it. It felt like she had no qualms in admitting they were more than just acquaintances.

"Very nice." Pleased delight made her voice cheery, and his eyes snapped up to hers in doubt that he had heard her right. "It looks really good on you, Kenshin. Really handsome." Brushing a hand over his shoulder, she tugged briefly at the overlapping folds of his kimono, then smiled. "And I think I prefer your hair like this. The braid didn't suit you, even if it was convenient."

Thinking of Tenshi, a frown marred his perplexed face. "I wasn't fond of the braid myself, Kaoru-dono."

Recalling her dream, she nodded in understanding. Though she had no real clue in what way his older brother had truly worn his hair, she couldn't imagine feeling enjoyment for the same hairstyle of a man that killed his own brother just for power. "Then it's settled. No more braid. I can see more of you face with it up like this anyway." Slipping her hand inside his, she coaxed him to the door. "Alright, that's enough flattery. Let's go. The food should be all set out by now."

Unsure where they were headed, Kenshin let Kaoru lead the way, his thoughts once again unwilling to focus. The easy compliments and the confirmation of warmth in her eyes was already too much for him to handle. The woman made it seem so effortless, the way she destroyed his insecurities, tricking him into believing that he was just as normal, just as beautiful, as she. He knew that he wasn't, could never be, could never have been, but it was hard to argue with what she believed. If she looked at him and saw even a hint of such things, then who was he to say she was wrong? Besides, it felt so much better not to argue and bask in the appreciation he had always secretly craved.

The sun was nearing the horizon as they walked through one of the private, palace gardens, the atmosphere just beginning to burn with color. It wasn't hard to see where their destination was, and Kenshin was a bit surprised by the picturesque presentation created for what he had thought was going to be a quiet, uneventful, simple evening. Blinking at the small gazebo Kaoru had prepared for them, he was starting to have his doubts on whether he understood her intentions at all.

Not that it was unnatural to have a few lanterns to light the space after the sun went down, or that eating in the gazebo didn't make sense. However, the lanterns were not plain, and not only did they hang from the roof of the gazebo, but two or three were positioned between the trays of food, while another couple handfuls were scattered about the outside of the gazebo in a halfhearted radius among the plants. The inside floor of the gazebo was covered by thin, flexible tatami to shield their cushions from the wooden planks, and with the scenery surrounding them it felt like a completely new world belonging solely to them. There was no other soul in sight, even though Kenshin knew his servants had no doubt had a hand in the proceedings.

As they came closer to the gazebo a small, tinkling chime rang through the air, and he briefly glanced up to find the source hanging unnoticed from the eave. It was another strange touch that made everything feel intimate. The only manmade sound in a staging of nature. Another element of beauty to add to their evening.

_Even I am having trouble convincing myself that this is accepted between friends._ Golden eyes looked sideways at her as she stepped out of her geta and up onto the small rise. _Or am I just over-thinking this?_

To match the mood created by their formal dress and the decorations, Tae had outdone herself on the food. There was way too much for just the two of them to eat, but despite the variety of dishes, there were only two small helpings of each. Politely steadying her as she settled onto one of the cushions, he stared down at the other placed directly next to her before seating himself cross-legged. With as many layers of clothing as they were each wearing, it looked like there was less room between them than there truly was.

"Wow! It looks great!" Reaching for her chopsticks, Kaoru spoke her gratitude for the meal, and then dug right in. At first he was a bit shocked, as no other meal they had ever shared had started until he began eating. It was respectful, and even Kaoru had acknowledged that small custom from the very first. For her to ditch it now was confusing. Was she intentionally insulting him? _Ah, but today she is the host. _The realization made sense, and he smiled. _I suppose that means I am under her care for the evening._ Following her lead, he picked up his set of chopsticks and began eating as well.

X

Kaoru was starting to feel a bit put out. She was trying as hard as she could to be more affectionate, but every time she thought she was doing something right she'd get the no good from Misao. Making a face at the weasel hiding within a patch of rosebushes, she tried to convey her frustration and annoyance, but Misao only rolled her eyes. Huffing, she turned back to her food and started at finding Kenshin looking at her curiously. Quickly reassuring him that she was fine and that nothing had upset her, she pouted a bit when he accepted her diversion but did not truly buy it. If she wasn't careful the evening might produce the exact opposite effect of what she was aiming for.

She supposed her problem was she was unwilling to do anything that didn't feel natural. While Misao had praised this in the beginning, it seemed to be no longer the case as the day progressed. Sipping at her tea, she eyed Kenshin out of the corner of her sight, a frown tugging at her lips. How dense could this man be, for crying out loud? For someone who was so strictly formal, he was acting extremely lenient with his notions of propriety. Perhaps he was just used to her slack etiquette and no longer found it strange if she did something he found improper. _He must think really poorly of me if that's true. I mean, I wouldn't just do these things for anybody!_ Shooting him a small frown, she felt her patience fray. _Idiot!_

Going back to Misao, she gave her a look that she hoped conveyed all of her annoyance and confusion at once. _What am I supposed to do then?_ Smacking a paw on the ground meaningfully, Misao stood up on her hind legs and lifted that same paw and shook it. Blinking, Kaoru's eyes narrowed. _Is she picking a fight with me?_ Growling low in her throat, Kaoru bared her teeth back. Misao's aquamarine eyes closed and she sighed. How did she end up with such a hopeless lady, anyway? Shaking her head, she repeated the action, then waved her paw at the master. Still frowning, Kaoru's irises darted to Kenshin and then back again, still confused. Throwing a silent tantrum, Misao started dancing around, her teeth bared as she chomped at the air. Irritated herself, Kaoru felt like throwing a tray full of food at her.

And then she suddenly understood. It had been something Tae and Misao had both said to her earlier as they were setting everything up. _"Showing your true emotions is great, but don't underestimate the master's stubbornness. You're going to have to be really bold, to the point of being shameless. Remember, he's not used to anyone showing him affection. I doubt he'll even register that there's a difference unless you make a clear enough distinction even he can't deny."_

"_But you said not to make the first move."_

"_I didn't say anything about throwing yourself at him. Just think of a way to get his attention, and don't give him any reason to doubt what you're doing or why."_

_That weasel still doesn't make any sense, but I'll try._ Waving a hand, she signaled Misao to stop before turning back to the meal. _If the small gestures like getting closer to him and wiping food off his chin aren't bold enough, then I need to think of something else. Something shameless._ Pursing her lips, she tried to think over her options, her blue eyes sweeping over the food, the trays, the lanterns, and him. His shoulders were stiff, a clear sign he was either uncomfortable or on guard. _It might be easier to shock him if he's like that, but I still feel disappointed that it's turned out like this. I guess at least I know he has been affected by what I'm doing, though it may be because I've been having this strange conversation of charades with Misao._ Eyes dropping to the chopsticks in her hand, she sighed. _Something shameless. Which would be something completely improper. At least for two people that are not lovers._ Eyelashes flapping rapidly, a slow smile tugged at her mouth. _Well… a mere friend wouldn't do that, right?_

A quick search of the food offered her a perfect excuse, and she snatched up one half of a duo that had so far been left untouched. Turning to Kenshin, she smiled sweetly when his attention shifted curiously to her, and held up her chopsticks in offering. "Why don't you try this one, Kenshin?" As expected his eyes widened a bit, making the large width of his irises look even larger, and it would have been comical, but Kaoru had a mission to accomplish.

Unsure, he lifted his own chopsticks. "Very well."

Laying her free hand on his arm to stop him from taking it from her, she pushed the piece of food closer to his face. The demand in the gesture was very apparent, and she intently watched his reaction, afraid of some polite form of rejection.

_She wants me to eat it off her chopsticks?_ The immediate response in his head was a screaming denial. He couldn't put his mouth on her eating utensils! It was unsanitary, right? _At the least. At the most it's…_ Her head tilted just slightly to one side, and the look in her sapphire eyes was… expectant. Any form of refusal died quietly under that look, and he leaned over the rest of the distance to accept.

Kaoru fought a grin of triumph as he bit into the crispy roll. _Alright, now for step two._ Still smiling sweetly, she waited for his verdict. Chewing slowly, he nodded, his eyes never leaving hers, and she could see the calculating way he was watching her. He was waiting for something, and Kaoru was not going to disappoint. Having purposely chosen something too large to eat in one bite, she pulled her arm back and popped the rest into her own mouth.

"Mmm, you're right. It is good." Kenshin's mouth had opened as if to stop her, then stayed open as he watched her happily finish the other half. Pleased with herself, she just grinned, an urge to tease swelling in her chest. "There's another one, if you liked it." Purposely letting the double meaning hang in the air, she turned her grin away to reach for the other.

Before she had barely moved he was picking it up with his own chopsticks and sitting back. Then, without even an ounce of fanfare, he bit into it, his bangs hiding his face from her. Trying to fight back her growing amusement, she ducked her chin. _I guess he doesn't want to share that one._

About to turn to Misao to find out the verdict, she was startled when he abruptly held out the other half to her. This had not been a part of her plan, but a quick glance up at the bangs still shielding his eyes gave her more to think about than simply getting an okay. Kenshin was not just dense, but self-conscious and insecure as well. These emotions were not natural for him, and so he would fight their appearance, but unless they were alleviated, they would never truly go away. The hand reached out to her was asking that she help.

Kaoru didn't even need to think about her course of action.

As the second half disappeared, Kenshin's shoulders relaxed. Something had been successfully communicated, and though Kaoru wasn't sure just how much that consisted of, she was glad. _At last._ Stealing a look at Misao's hiding place, she was surprised to see it empty. Did that mean she was doing good?

As the meal finally finished, the sun getting lower and lower on the horizon, Kaoru followed the instructions Tae had given her and picked up the lantern nearest her cushion and moved it to sit behind her. After a few seconds, the signal produced a small swarm of servants that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Resetting the gazebo, they removed the trays of food as well as some of the lanterns before disappearing just as quickly and quietly as they had come. Left once again alone with nothing to focus on but the sun and each other, the tension that had developed between them over the last few days became more pronounced, and at the same time, welcomed. Taking advantage of an opportunity, Kaoru used the atmosphere to encourage intimacy.

As the sky painted itself in tints of yellow, she gently interlaced her fingers through his. When it turned orange, she carefully scooted over to rest her head on his shoulder. As it slowly changed to a deep shade of red, however, her eyes fluttered closed. Warm, comfortable, and tired from a day of planning and excitement, Kaoru slipped easily towards sleep as night took the place of day. Too relaxed to object to the shifting of her pillow, she snuggled closer into the embrace of the arm that wrapped around her.

X

Reaching a sluggish state of awareness, Kaoru blinked at the dark folds of a kimono she was resting on, her eyes tracing the collar up to stare at the scales covering Kenshin's neck. Yawning, she tilted her head to look out over the landscape, surprised to find it was already fully dark. In the soft glow of the lamps she blinked again as her sight focused on a pulsating flash of greenish light. Tracking its disjointed progress across the small clearing before the gazebo, her lips twitched as a second light met it. Twinkling and flirting, they danced together, before going their separate ways.

As the glaze lifted from her eyes she saw more and more of the winking lights, crowding around the bushes, floating freely in the open. Lifting a lethargic hand, she reached for one with upturned fingers as it drifted by, but it shied from the movement.

"Are you awake, my lady?"

Bringing her hand back to cover another yawn, Kaoru nodded against his chest before attempting to sit up. A stretch and a giggle later found her once more engrossed in the fireflies. "Sorry I fell asleep on you." Voice a whisper to match his own, she reached for another one of the lightning bugs.

"I did not mind."

The smile in his voice made her smile. "I just hope I didn't do something embarrassing like drool." Quite unsuccessfully trying to coax one of the bugs into her open palms, she shot him a bashful look.

"Thankfully not." Laughing softly, he lifted his own hand palm up and she jealously watched as one of the fireflies landed on the tip of a dark claw.

"How'd you do that?" Breathless with awe, she leaned over his arm. Shrugging, Kenshin brought his hand closer for her to see.

"I've always been able to, but… there is a lot of magic in this place. After a thousand years, it has surely affected the natural wildlife."

Shaking her head as the firefly left, Kaoru's low voice disagreed, her tone soaked with her dreamy imagination. "No. I bet they can tell."

"Tell what?"

"That you are gentle and kind." One hand hooked around his elbow, her other gripped the back of his knuckles so that she could study his palm. "Instinctively they know that you will not hurt them, just like I know. They feel safe, so they know it is fine for them to rest here." Her thumb brushed gently over the same black claw. "But something else probably attracts them near. After all, they can just as safely land on a tree or a flower. Fireflies are beautiful, pure creatures. They will naturally be attracted to other things that are beautiful and pure."

Her words were casting a spell over his mind, charming him with her persuasive speech, soothing the turmoil of his insecurities. Wanting to let her beautiful world embrace him within it, denial fought her optimism with the blatant contrast of her own pale hand curled around the ugly distortion of his. Fisting his fingers, he looked away, the sight churning something sour in his stomach. "Then they _should _be attracted to you."

No sound but the quiet tinkle of the wind chime broke their silence, and then her hands slipped away. "Thank you." Golden eyes glanced at her as she took his angry retort as a compliment instead. Red was staining her cheeks, and it was her turn to look away. "But I'm sure it has something to do with being calming as well, and I'm much too excitable." She grinned and just like that his irritation was gone.

Directing her vision past the spectacle of fireflies, she looked up at the dark sky. Thousands of shining stars rivaled the glowing bugs, stretching to each visible horizon. A little despondent, Kaoru sighed. "I guess I missed the first star… but it was probably for the best. It might have a one wish per night limit, or something." Her large sapphire eyes met his. "Did you make a wish, Kenshin?"

For a long time he did nothing but stare at her, and she was starting to feel a bit anxious when he finally looked away, and then down to his lap. "Yes, my lady."

A smile dimpled her cheeks. "I hope it comes true."

"…We shall see."

"Yeah. I've been trying to make my wish come true by myself, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask, you know?"

Hesitant, his hand touched the sleeve of her kimono. "If you like, my lady… you could tell me your wish. I would gladly grant it if it were in my power to."

"Oh." Blushing, she ducked her chin. "It's not anything material, so it would probably be a little more complicated than that."

"Ah. Then is it somewhere you would like to go, something you would like to do or see?" Head shaking quickly, she disagreed and he frowned. "If you are afraid to say because it is complicated, you should know I do not mind." Lightly his fingers touched her chin to coax her into looking at him. "If it is not something that I can grant right away, then I will do my best to make it come true. Please, my lady. Let me do this for you."

Biting her lip, she lowered her eyes and inhaled shakily through her nose. "My wish is not for me, though." Tentative and shy, she met his gaze again, the look meaningful and the creases on his brow softened in understanding. "It is for someone who struggles with sadness everyday and does not see how wonderful he really is, or how happy he makes everyone around him." Bottom lip trembling as she watched the muscles around his eyes twitch, her own expression puckered with hinting tears. "I just want you to be happy, too, Kenshin. And not just for a brief moment… but from… now on."

The unwavering stare of his golden eyes made her self-conscious, but they also made it impossible to look away. Long seconds passed, two pulsating fireflies floating in the space between them, and he finally blinked and she could breathe again. Gently his arm wrapped around her shoulders, drawing her back into that comfortable resting place she had enjoyed earlier. The hand on her chin curved around the base of her skull and his arms tightened, pressing her even closer. _I never believed you… Mother… but I found her. This woman who is so caring and beautiful and strong. The one who sees only me and not the pretenses I have surrounded myself with. I don't know how you could have known, but… she even has blue eyes. Only…_

"Tell me, truthfully, Kaoru-dono. Why have you done all of this?" The whisper of his voice was barely audible anymore, his question and her reply only meant to be heard by them. "Why would you wish that for me?"

He was asking her straight out, and he wanted an honest answer. After all of the planning and trying to be suggestive, having Misao scowl at her and driving herself crazy, Kaoru was more than ready to do something that was natural to her personality. She was an honest person, and she didn't care what Misao said about it later. He had asked and she was going to tell in that straightforward fashion she preferred.

"I love you, Kenshin." Burrowing herself a little harder into the crook of his neck, her hands clutched at his kimono. "I love you and I want you to be happy."

The pain in his chest burst and he almost couldn't breathe, but his lips wanted to smile. "Is that so?" Eagerly her head nodded to reconfirm, and the leaden ball of sorrow in his gut disappeared. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For granting _my_ wish."

X

A/N: Sheesh. This one was as bad as the last, almost. It was smoother to write, but there were so many distractions in my life I was about to go crazy! I'm even on vacation! You're supposed to be able to relax on vacation! Well… I did some of that, lol, which is probably why I didn't get this done last week like I had planned. Anyway, there's so much to say, but I've wrote so much I don't know where to start. I wanted to make sure there was still some struggle for Kenshin on what to believe about Kaoru's actions and their relationship in the beginning. That way Kaoru could try to work her feminine charm… ha ha. I don't have much of that myself, so it was a little hard to write some for her. No real personal experience and all that. Anyway, Kaoru's a blunt person, so it should be awkward for her too. I was excited about the exchange of food part, though. It seemed like such a fun scenario to write for these two. Especially Kenshin's character. Wow, I'm starting to talk about them like their actors or something. XD Anyhoo… Uh, Kenshin starts catching on about the time they start eating, so if anyone feels like it kind of jumped, I apologize, but he can't be that freaking dumb, come on. Even teenagers who are driven purely by hormones can figure out when someone's crushing on them. Believe me, I used to be there… so long ago… ahem. Away from that… The reason he didn't before is mainly because of that not-good-enough complex that is so typical for this fandom. Plus, all the other emotional trauma that has been heaped upon our poor cursed lord for most of his life. Ten points for Kaoru for punching through that drama! Whoop!

It turned out much longer than I had anticipated. I hope these last two chapters don't curse the rest of them to be that way. I didn't want to write chapters much longer than twelve pages. Quicker posting and easier to stay focused that way. I know it's nice to have long chapters… I hate short chapters when I'm a reader, but as a writer, the shorter ones are more attractive. Well, leave a review and tell me what you thought! See you soon… oh and it might seem like there's not much left… but you would be wrong! So, so very wrong. Coming up… well… I wanted to get some Sano and Megumi… and don't forget about first kisses… Ciao.


	34. Hide and Seek Shelter

I will say nothing here but that I once again got distracted by a book. Three actually, and it wasn't even my fault. I blame it all on the girl I work with; she knows it's her fault too. XD Please read, and enjoy! What fun this chapter was.

Disclaimer: I could never own something so cool.

**Chapter 34: Hide and Seek Shelter**

There was something different about the palace as the crisp spring days transitioned slowly into warmth. The air was fragrant, the sun was gentle and soothing, and the sound of droning insects played like a lazy fanfare, but most of all, the ever present tension was gone. The master was finally calm.

One long, suffering sigh left Sano's mouth as he lounged on the veranda. It was a perfect day to be relaxing; a perfect time to forget everything and just be indolent, except Sano was irritated. Stretched on the porch, his chin slumped on his crossed forelegs, he watched from across a large portion of yard with wry interest as his master and his lady spoke. They were walking, wandering really, wherever they wished, or more likely, wherever she wished. There was a pleasant smile on her face, a softer expression on his, and though it seemed like nothing had changed about their relationship, everyone could tell there was a difference.

It was in the small ways they interacted. Not with their words, but with the emotion they showed in their eyes, and not with their actions, but in the way those actions were performed. For instance, Sano had witnessed before the way the lady liked to hold the master's hand and lead him around, so it was no big deal to see the contact being shared. As they strolled together now, however, the difference was shown by how the occurrence was instigated and not in the result. Without breaking stride or even a conscious show of acknowledgment, the master's hand turned just ever so slightly at his side. Still smiling, still chatting and looking at him with her animated eyes, the signal was somehow recognized without truly being seen. Within only seconds of the unspoken demand, the lady's slim hand slipped inside of his, and somewhere deep in Sano's gut he felt envious. Overlapping that sensation was also a wash of bitterness.

_Dammit. They're acting more and more like a couple every day. At this rate I'm going to lose that bet._ Grumbling, Sano averted his eyes._ Damn weasel set me up._

It wasn't like he was unhappy about his master finding a woman to be with. In a way he was actually proud, like an older brother would be proud. After all, Shinta had been one of his best friends; it was only natural that he felt some kind of responsibility towards that man's younger brother. Even if Sano himself had never been given the chance to be around Kenshin when he was a child, he had heard enough from Shinta to know what it was about the youngest lordling that had impressed him. Knowing that much about him and witnessing first hand everything his master had endured after Shinta's death, Sano was in truth relieved to see a measure of peace enter in his life.

Which was why he had not betted against them getting together after it became clear that it was something they both wanted. His master deserved to be happy, but that wasn't the point. He was going to lose the bet because that meddling weasel girl couldn't leave well enough alone and decided to stick her nose in the situation. Sano was sure he would have won if things had just progressed smoothly… naturally. What was wrong with letting them figure it out on their own? Scowling, Sano wrinkled his nose. Misao swore she did nothing more than what was asked of her, but he wasn't buying her innocent act. Everything was progressing much faster than he had thought possible for their master, and more than likely it would continue that way.

_Summer's still a few weeks away, and even if I haven't lost yet, I will before long._ Growling low in his throat, he closed his eyes. _You stupid idiot! You know you rarely win a bet, what the hell were you thinking taking her up on this one? Especially without knowing what will happen when you lose._

"I think falling in love really agrees with the master."

Grunting in a noncommittal fashion, Sano swished his tail but did not open his eyes to greet the intrusion. Soft shuffling, a sigh, and then the creak of a floorboard spoke of the intruder's intent to pester him further.

"After a thousand years of monotony, these new emotions must be almost comforting."

Katsu's observation lifted one of Sano's eyelids, a touch of anxiety he couldn't find the source to churning in his stomach. "You think… he's only happy because he's never been in love before?"

Dark eyes widened as Katsu tore his gaze from the couple and shot a look at his best friend. "That's a pretty negative opinion, Sanosuke. Do you not think our master's feelings of joy and love run no deeper than a simple relief that he can feel something new?"

Both eyes coming open, Sano frowned. "You're the one who said it. I was just trying to make sense of your romantic mumbo-jumbo."

"What I said is he must be comforted by the knowledge that he can still discover new emotions. I did not say it was the only reason why he was happy."

Grunting again, Sano returned his attention to the two still ambling around the veranda, a not so comfortable silence invading his mind with doubts and fear. "It is easy for the young master to discover new emotions when he was never allowed to emotionally mature past his adolescence. He is still very much a child waiting to experience and grow." Letting out a measured breath, Sano was struck by a wave of pity. "The little missy will make him feel everything he never has, and when this is all said and done… he'll be just like the rest of us poor bastards."

Katsu regarded him in surprise, his expression one part shock and one part dismay. "… This has been bothering you for awhile."

Snorting, Sano sat up, his eyes flat and lifeless. "Think about it, Katsu. We've been here for over a thousand years now, without dying, aging, or sickening. Whatever was done to us, it's not likely to go away. Not after all this time. The missy's what? Seventeen? It won't be noticeable for awhile, but sooner or later, she's going to start showing her age, she's going to get old… and she's going to die. The master… he's going to have to watch; a slow, torturous death from the inside out, and after she's gone… what will there be left for him? There will be nothing else for him to discover. His life will have already been fulfilled, and there will be no reason for him to continue to live."

Through the sobering affect of Sano's explanation, Katsu's mind brought forth argument after argument, wishing to deny what his friend believed to be truth. Certainly it was true that watching the one you love die before your eyes was not a welcome thought, but rejecting love simply because you know one day it will disappear was not an answer Katsu could live with. As he rounded on his companion to explain and defy, however, he was distracted by the pain that briefly curled the features of his mutt appearance, and the words died on the lemur's lips. Blinking, he felt suddenly bewildered.

"You are being uncharacteristically insightful, Sano. What is this really about?"

Sano shifted, his being tense as if wishing to reject the probing question. After a few moments, his head dropped with a sigh. "What the hell are we still doing here, Katsu? What the hell am I still doing here? What purpose do we serve being here?"

Staring at the back of his friend's neck, Katsu thought his answer through carefully, his voice measured when he answered. "I am my master's court painter. That is my purpose to my lord."

"A purpose that served no one until only recently." Insensitive and harsh, Sano barked the reply, but Katsu only sighed.

"If my master did not need me until only recently, then that is fine. I fulfill my purpose as a painter when it is required of me. That does not mean it is the only purpose I have in my life. I am also a husband now. That purpose makes requirements of me daily."

"And you are content to live your life like this? Forever?" Sounding more and more irritable, Sano angled one mahogany eye in his direction. Holding his glare as he studied him, Katsu shook his head and looked away to watch the master and the lady disappear around a corner.

"What about your life are you not content with, Sanosuke?" The mutt's tense form went slack, and Katsu could feel his narrowed eyes widen, his gaze lightening from anger to wariness. "Is this about Megumi-sensei… or is it Shinta-sama?"

Sano's jaw worked soundlessly as he tried, _wanted_, to argue. The truth in the question was overwhelming, though, and he felt defeated instead as he swallowed thickly. "I didn't know what to do… after he died… We were friends, but… he was the son of our master, I always took for granted that he would be the one telling us what our purpose was."

There was a wild look in Sano's brown eyes that gentled Katsu's tone. "He _was _the one who gave us our purpose, remember?"

"And mine was taken from me!"

Looking calmly away as he snapped, Katsu shrugged nonchalantly. "I never thought you were the type to care about purposes, Sanosuke. You have always been content to just let things go without contemplating too hard on the whys."

"I've never needed to." Frustrated, he stood up to start pacing. "I've never wanted to, but lately… no, not just lately, slowly, ever since we were turned into these… creatures… there has been this nagging sense of wrong in my mind. I haven't been able to figure out what it is… until now." Stopping his distracting movements, Sano looked back across the yard as echoing laughter chimed from the other side of a pavilion. "There is nothing else for me to do."

A deep frown pulled at Katsu's face, appalled by what he was hearing. "What are you saying, Sanosuke?"

"It came to me as I was watching the lord and his lady. What she is giving him is something new, and from it he will discover that there are plenty of things he does not know. He has not finished living. In fact, he's barely even begun to know what it means to live. He has purpose, he has growth, he has everything in the world to look forward to."

"But you don't think you do." Katsu was more than horrified now as the revelation punched him in the gut.

"You were right, Katsu. Just having the knowledge that there is something new to discover would be comforting. I don't have that. I have lived over a thousand years in this life, and I've felt everything there is to feel. I fulfilled my purpose a long time ago, and I don't have anything else to do."

"But you've barely done anything." Arguing now in desperation, Katsu stood as well.

Shrugging, Sano's demeanor abruptly became calm, accepting, and it frightened Katsu even more. "But that's what I wanted to do. Maybe that's what I was supposed to do."

"What about Megumi-sensei?"

Laughing derisively Sano sneered. "What about that fox? We've pushed and pulled at each other for hundreds of years. We've done it all, from anger to peace. Hell, we've practically eviscerated each other and then acted like nothing happened. There's no love there, Katsu. Not for her. It's just an amusing pastime."

"I disagree."

A crooked smile pulled at the mutt's mouth, showing canine teeth. "You don't know her like I do."

"I don't need to know her to recognize the way she looks at you!"

For one moment the look in Sano's mahogany eyes was intense, burning, enraged, shocking the lemur into taking a step back. A quick blink later and he was back to his carefree, relaxed, whatever-you-say self. Stretching slowly, he yawned and completely ignored Katsu's last declaration. "Well, old buddy, I think it's past my naptime." Hopping off the side of the walkway, Sano meandered across the yard, leaving Katsu behind and confused.

"Where are you going?"

"To find a good patch of sunshine. I have a feeling I'm going to need my rest for whatever that weasel has in mind when she collects on that bet we made." A small leap and he was back up on the veranda, a suitable amount of distance between him and his best friend. A quick peek showed a frown of worry still present on the lemur's face, but he was walking away and not after. Sano knew Katsu didn't understand what he was talking about, and he was afraid he didn't explain himself very well, but there truly was nothing left for him. It was a terrifying realization.

Rounding a corner, he paused as he caught sight of Kenshin and Kaoru again. Stopped on a sporadic stone pathway in the middle of one of the gardens, one of the master's clawed hands was offering a single plucked flower. The expression on his face was just slightly anxious, but it disappeared quickly as he watched the lady flush a pretty shade of pink. The gift was accepted, her smile shy, and she leaned into the lord's touch as he carefully brushed aside a strand of her hair. Her lips moved, presumably to communicate her appreciation, and as she looked down to sniff her flower the softened expression on the lord's face blossomed and became a mixture of confusion, apprehension, anxiety, eagerness, joy, affection, astonishment, and longing.

It was such a range of emotions, such a shock to understand how little their master had experienced. Inside, it made Sano feel very, very old.

X

The long shadow of one lazy, fluffy cloud finally slipped by with the warm breeze, abruptly flooding the yard in brilliant sunshine. Blinking against the sudden light, Kaoru held up her hand to shield her eyes, her lips partially drawn up into a habitual smile. It was a beautiful day. It was a beautiful week! Life was pleasant, the world was peaceful and alive, and Kenshin knew that she loved him.

It felt like she had gained a lifelong friend. It felt like they at once knew each other, and then not at all, like they were children playing together for the first time. Everything was new, exciting, and yet Kaoru knew there was nothing to worry about. She felt nothing but trust and security when she was with him, even as her heart rate sped and her anxiety went through the roof. It was conflicting, and yet expected and welcome. Truly it was like meeting him as a child and tugging on his hand to come play.

An echo of delighted laughter rang in her ears as she encouraged the daydream, and her smile widened into a grin. Answering laughter followed, and she tracked in her mind's eye a girl of perhaps four or five as she ran across the yard, her dark hair in pigtails and her blue eyes laughing. Behind her, a young boy of the same age gave chase, his dark red hair unruly, and his violet eyes alive and carefree.

_I wonder if I will ever see those eyes. I wonder if they were real._

"Kaoru-dono?" A light touch brushed her shoulder, and she opened her eyes to find Kenshin standing next to her. "Is everything alright? Do you not feel well?" The concern in his voice made her smile and she shook her head quickly.

"I'm fine, Kenshin. Just thinking."

"Oh? About what?"

Wanting to tease him, Kaoru's smile grew. "I was trying to picture what you would have looked like as a child." Kenshin's golden eyes widened and she could tell this was not the answer he had expected. Slipping her hand in his, she tweaked his nose playfully. "I bet you were a mischievous imp that gave the servants all kinds of grief."

A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "Has Nori-chan been telling stories on me?"

Kaoru blinked. _Nori-chan?_ The familiarity in his tone formed a slight crease between her brows. Kenshin never addressed anyone so intimately, not even the younger residents of the palace. A tiny flare of irritation sparked to life in her mind, enclosing in bitterness every thought she had of the distancing title he used when addressing her. Who was this woman he was so close to?

Biting her lip to try and hide her displeasure, Kaoru looked him in the eye, ignoring the confusion on his face. "Who's Nori-chan?" The demanding challenge in her voice lifted his brow line.

"She was my caretaker when I was a child."

Kaoru instantly relaxed, her smile coming back full-force. "Oh, you mean your nanny?"

A bemused expression replaced the confusion on his face. "Something like that. She was the servant in charge of my well-being when Mother was busy." His smile threatened to disappear, and then came back in a flush of amusement. "I'm afraid I was rather hard on her."

"You?" Lifting an eyebrow, Kaoru gave him a disbelieving look, her lips twitching, and he chuckled. Grinning, she tightened her hand around his. "I'd really like to meet her. I bet she has all kinds of stories on you."

"Oh no. I do not think I will introduce you two. I might find myself in trouble then."

They laughed together, and Kaoru followed as he gently tugged on her arm to encourage her to fall in step beside him. It was early afternoon, and they had decided on an impromptu walk through the city. Since Kenshin had found himself with a lull in his duties, he had suggested the time spent together. It was an occasion that was happening more and more often, and Kaoru couldn't tell if it was because things were finally settling down enough in the chain of command to allow him more free time, or if he was so eager to find time to spend with her he was rushing… or ditching altogether. So far no word of any problems had reached her ears so she was hoping for the first choice, though she would have been flattered by the last.

Still giggling, she looked up at him to study his features, glad to find him relaxed and enjoying himself. Much of the tension she had grown used to was absent from his expression, the frown lines around his eyes and mouth no longer quite as pronounced. He seemed more at ease, surer of himself, and she at once felt happy and regretful. It was satisfying to think that her small confession could take so much weight off of his heart and mind. The metamorphosis he had undergone went a long way to show how much he cared for her as well. At the same time, however, it was disheartening to think that she, even in the smallest degree, was responsible for his indecision and insecurity. If her words could pick him up this quickly, how far could they let him fall?

As they walked, a dark spot of shadow caught her attention, and she tilted her head back to look around his shoulder. Almost to the barrier that separated the palace from the city, her eyes landed on the small shrine that was Tomoe's home. Strangely the door was open, and Kaoru's first thought was that no one was allowed inside, per the master. Shaking her head, she reminded herself that the place was not empty. Tomoe was trapped within that small shrine. No doubt she liked to gaze upon the scenery whenever she could, and a beautiful day such as the one they were enjoying deserved to be ogled. Feeling sad that Tomoe could not come out to appreciate the entire effect, Kaoru's bottom lip unconsciously pouted.

"And what are you thinking about now, Kaoru-dono?" There was amusement instead of concern in his voice this time, and she returned her attention to him quickly. Unwilling to let him know that she was worried about the sorceress, Kaoru smiled brightly once more.

"I was thinking about how much I enjoyed our flight yesterday. It was fun getting to go further down the ridgeline."

Thoroughly amused now, he shook his head, his eyes warm. "If you had so much fun then why were you pouting?"

"Well 'cause I wanted to go again today." Knowing the answer, she gave him her most pitiable look, hoping to distract him completely away from her fleeting moment of melancholy.

Sighing like she knew he would, he tightened his grip on her hand. "My wings are still sore today, Kaoru-dono. I would not trust them to maintain our weight for very long, and I will do nothing that will place you in harms way."

"I know. That's why I was pouting." Sticking a finger in his ribs, she giggled when he jerked involuntarily. "I am sorry your wings are sore, though."

"Do not be sorry, my lady, I had fun as well. My wings are simply not used to much exercise. The pain will fade as the muscles relax."

"You probably use a lot of your back muscles when flying too, right?" Looking thoughtful in that way he recognized, with her head tilted off to one side, he could see her mind working through something.

"Ye-es." Answering slowly, warily, he wondered what she was up to now.

"Why don't you spend a little extra time in the bath tonight? The hot water will help relax your muscles." A small frown creased her brow. "I would offer you a massage but your scales would probably make that difficult." Every one of his muscles tensed, the sore ones protesting, and his eyes widened as he stared at her in shock, but she didn't notice. "I wonder if Megumi-sensei would have any massage stones. I think they would work pretty well. They can be chilled and heated to soak out the soreness. What do you think?"

"Uh…" The habitual regulation of propriety ingrained in his being told him that it would not be a good idea. He needed to tell her no, the bath would be good enough, and she need not bother herself with his comfort. The newly awakened part of his mind that liked Kaoru's attention and selfishly fed off of every moment they spent together argued that it would be nice to be pampered. Especially by one who loved him. It wasn't wrong of him to accept her considerate gesture. After all, their relationship was clearly on a more lenient level since they were sharing food and chopsticks. "I'll… think about it."

Golden eyes glanced down at the same time she glanced up, and her lips bowed into that shy smile that spoke of her pleasure and her timidity. "Okay. Let me know when you've made up your mind."

Walking through the city after midday was at once hot and exhausting, as well as interesting and fun. Most of the residents were going about their regular routines and were far to busy to take notice of the couple walking in their midst. At the same time, though, there were many that waved or shouted greetings to their master and his lady. It was a rare sight to see their master among them, after all, and his presence was heartening.

A soft chuckle pulled Kaoru's attention away from the activity around her and back to Kenshin. There was a slight smile on his face and his eyes were looking straight ahead, but his attention seemed to be distracted. Curious, Kaoru studied his expression, wondering if she had done something to amuse him. He wasn't paying her any attention though, and after a few more seconds the smile on his lips widened and he chuckled lightly again. Was he thinking of something funny?

Unconsciously her fingers squeezed around his, wanting his attention to return to her, and obediently he complied. The grin was still present when their eyes met, and as he tried desperately to hold onto his laughter, she found herself drawn into his hilarity. Lips twitching in confused reaction, she lifted a brow, a little worried about what was happening to her usually composed nobleman. Shaking his head in answer, his eyes dropped pointedly to glance behind him. Following his encouragement, she twisted her head to look.

Trailing along behind them was a cute black and white kitten, its hopping steps trying desperately to keep up with their longer strides. Scurrying quickly to catch up, Kaoru found out the reason for Kenshin's mirth when the small ball of fur leaped into the air and landed square on the furry end of his tail. Tail yanking forward as its claws connected, the force of its momentum dirt rolled it to the side. Losing hold of its prey, it growled as Kenshin teasingly twitched his tail into the kitten's face. Batting at it with both front paws in an attempt to catch the tricky tail again, the kitten mewled plaintively as it got away. Scrambling back to its feet, it gave chase once more.

Giggling, Kaoru bit her lip to stifle the sound, her eyes bright as she watched this happen several more times. Jerking and twitching his tail around, Kenshin was quite plainly playing with the child, and then teasingly mocking it by brushing the fur tip across the kitten's face. Goaded into increasing the ferocity of its attack, the kitten crouched down, wiggled its hind-end, and threw itself after with a pounce. Having just crossed an intersection of road, their path now rose at a steeper gradient than before. Missing its target and sliding on the loose dirt, the kitten rolled not forward but backward this time. Crying out in alarm, it hurtled back towards the crossroad.

Gasping, Kaoru released Kenshin's hand, afraid of the small child receiving an injury from the uncontrolled revolutions. Just like any time before, though, Kenshin's reflexes were better than hers and he was already turned after the frightened kitten. Sweeping it up before it spun out into the adjoining road and underneath the wheels of an ox-driven wagon of ore, Kenshin stood gracefully, the kitten tucked between his chest and his forearm. Expecting hysterics, Kaoru rushed after them and stopped at his side, her eyes wide as she checked over the small feline for any wounds. Kenshin's gentle hands were already way ahead of her.

"Are you alright, little one? Were you hurt?" The master's voice was calm, soothing, without a trace of anger or even anxiety. It quickly quelled Kaoru's own apprehension, and she realized belatedly that it was meant to do so.

Large brown eyes stared up at the both of them, perhaps too shocked to answer the question immediately. Then a purely mischievous grin showed off the kitten's teeth, its luminous eyes closing. "Again! Again, my lord! Again!"

Chuckling, Kenshin shook his head. "I'm afraid not, little one. You were nearly killed." Instantly disappointed, the kitten, which Kaoru now recognized was a little girl, started to cry. "No tears. That was a very dangerous situation. I am meant to protect you, not place you in harms way." Carrying her back across the crossroad, Kenshin put the kitten down in the grass. Smiling gently, he patted her head. "Run along home now. We shall play another day."

Brightened by the idea, the kitten agreed and took off through the grass, her fluffy tail sticking straight up in the air as she hopped and pounced her way back down the path they had come. It was a charming, not to mention cute, sight, but even as Kaoru smiled after the child, a distressing notion was fighting to make itself known to her. Smile fading slowly as she tried to decide what it was that was bothering her, she glanced back to Kenshin as he stood from his crouched position. There was a warm smile on his face, and it briefly washed away her strange sorrow. He was such a different person when he was dealing with his subjects, so mature and confident, and yet still gentle, still protective. It was touching to know he cared so much for his people, and pleasing to know he could be playful with the children. After a thousand years of life, Kaoru couldn't imagine what kind of temperament should be normal. Kaoru just felt that she would be old and tired.

Brow creasing, she cast another look over her shoulder as they continued on, her thoughts screeching to a halt. "Everyone here has lived at least a thousand years."

"My lady?" Though Kaoru had whispered the observation, and there was confusion in his voice, Kaoru knew he had heard her clearly. It was in the careful way he spoke. Pulling her gaze from the dirt path, Kaoru met Kenshin's golden eyes.

"There haven't been any new children, right, Kenshin?" A crease formed between his eyes, his head shaking in negation. "I didn't think so. I mean, the curse has basically left everyone in a moment of suspended animation; therefore no new life could ever be created. Everyone still heals though, but that must be because the curse will allow no one to die unless the heart is stopped." Sapphire eyes glossed over, turning inward with her off topic contemplation. "I wonder if that means the curse is somehow connected to the heart, or if it cannot cover the ramifications of a dead heart. I suppose that would be like animating a dead body and that is an entirely different form of magic. Perhaps it is the magic itself that heals any wounds and it is not strong or fast enough to heal the heart. Well, you'd die if your brain stopped working, so maybe the curse is connected to both?" Chewing on her thumbnail, Kaoru's head was now bowed into her chest, lost to a line of thought Kenshin could not follow. "So intricate. I wonder how Tomoe connected it all into one being."

"Kaoru-dono." Kaoru jumped as his hand gripped her shoulder, bringing her back to the present. There was something sharp in his voice. Blinking up at him, she was startled to find his attention not focused on her face but her chest, and she thought she caught a reflection of pink in his otherwise golden eyes. Abruptly he was staring back at her, his gaze intense. "Has that witch being teaching you about magic?"

Startled, Kaoru's head pulled back. "No." His features did not relax, and she bristled. "You think I'm lying to you?" The frown on his face deepened for a moment as he searched her eyes.

"No." _I believe you, but I don't understand why you sound like you know what you're talking about._ Hurt was beginning to show itself in her eyes and he forced himself to relax, and like any good leader wishing to handle a spiraling situation, he tactfully distracted her from his unease. "Why were you asking about the children?"

Distraction tactic a success, she caught her breath as they continued to walk. "I was wondering why some of the children still act as children when others do not. Yahiko-chan and Tsubame-chan were still young when the curse happened, and yet they do not act like children should. On the other hand, out of Saitou-san's four boys, the youngest one, Tatsuo-chan, acts like an infant. He still talks like a child of three or four. The middle two, while seemingly older still do not act like they have been alive for a thousand years. And now this kitten. I don't understand what's going on to keep some of them trapped in their youth while others mature with the time."

Kenshin sighed, his hand squeezing hers. "I myself do not understand it fully either, Kaoru-dono. Whether it is a side-effect from the curse, or a natural working within their brains, I cannot tell you. Some of them _have _mentally matured to adulthood and lived as adults in their child forms for several hundred years, and then simply digressed back to childhood. Even a few of the adults have withdrawn from our reality. Others, like Saitou's children, simply choose not to mature." Soothingly, his thumb brushed back and forth across her wrist, his words gentling. "Living for a thousand years is a difficult thing to endure, my lady, especially when your mind is… developed enough to understand the entirety of what it means. To tell you the truth, it pains me to see Yahiko and Tsubame behaving like adults, because I know they are suffering under the full understanding of their lifespan. When I see the children acting as children… I am… relieved… but also sad."

The light catch of her fingers pulling against his forced him to stop, their joined hands linking them together as he turned to face her. There were tears in her eyes, and he frowned, his head shaking slowly. "Don't cry, Kaoru-dono."

"But…" Lungs trembling as she tried to fight off her tears, her fingers tightened against his. "It must have been so awful for you." Swallowing with difficulty, her eyes clenched shut and she missed seeing him step closer. "You had to suffer, all alone, for so long, watching everyone else suffer around you, unable to help them. They're your people and you couldn't help them." The tender, slightly calloused skin of his palm and the pads of his fingers cupped one side of her face, and her lashes parted, allowing the tears she was fighting to trail simultaneously down both cheeks. The gold of his irises was so pale they seemed clear, revealing a new, heartbreaking emotion she couldn't name, causing her bottom lip to tremble. "You must be in so much pain."

Unexpectedly, he smiled. It was a fond smile that only barely tilted the corners of his lips. "Not so much anymore." Releasing her hand, he cupped her astonished face between both of his palms. "You see, you are forgetting something very important, Kaoru-dono. If I had not gone through everything that I have… I would have never met you." The frown lines around her eyes abruptly disappeared, her tense muscles slowly relaxing. His smile widened. "Did this thought never cross your mind?" Speechless, she shook her head. "I have thought about it many times since you came to live here. It does not mean I don't regret what I have done, but I know now that I can never change it, either. I can only work hard to make things better from now on. This is all that I can do for my people, Kaoru-dono, but I will always try my best to be what they need me to be. I would never have realized this if not for you." Reaching his thumbs up carefully, he wiped at her tears and his smile became something breathtaking. "It is the first time in my life that I can truly say… I am glad to be me."

X

The slow drifting clouds overhead were increasing in number as the afternoon sun made its monotonous trek across the sky. It periodically lightened and darkened the grove of cherry trees Kaoru found them walking through. The scene was at once inviting and mysterious, captivating and unsettling. Beauty from both sides of light and dark were shown within the manicured wood, and Kaoru was swayed by its allure.

So late in the season, the blooms were already long since fallen and the trees were now rustling happily with new green leaves. Only the sound of the wind and the occasional chirp of a bird filled the comforting silence, and yet, even though there was nothing ominous about their setting, Kaoru was unsettled; anxious; _expectant_. It was like when she was a child and her parents took her to the beach to play. All of her excitement had to stay bottled and contained up to the very moment they released her to do as she pleased. Standing next to Kenshin, her hand held in his, this was that moment, waiting to be set free to frolic and play. Smiling to herself, she only just realized that as an adult herself now, she was no longer required to wait for someone else's approval.

Lagging behind, step by gradual step, she loosened her grip on his hand and obligingly he did the same. He did not turn to look at her, but continued to wander in and out of the trees, his eyes content and unfocused as he gazed around. Grinning, she let her hand drop completely, followed him a few more steps to make sure he was not concerned by the loss of contact, and then slipped unseen into the maze of trees. Listening intently to his footsteps, she fought her giggle as he kept walking.

This sudden urge to play was overwhelming inside her, a bubble of delight, giddiness, and pure adolescence. Whether it was the mention of the children and his desire to see them remain innocent, her own vision of the two of them playing together as children, or his confession of contentment, no matter how brief or minute, that was causing her playfulness, Kaoru couldn't say. All she did know was that she wanted to expand upon the development they were experiencing. She wanted to continue on with this blossoming relationship and create more and more instances where she was able to see his smile. Because nobody else she knew deserved happiness more than him.

"Kaoru-dono?"

That adorable confusion she heard very rarely was present in his voice, and her smile widened so far it hurt. Timing her steps with his, she slipped between one tree and the next, careful to keep herself hidden from his sight. A soft crunch alerted her that he was coming closer, and she peeked around the tree bark to see if he was looking, and quickly ducked to another tree further away. Another call of her name hinted that he was feeling a touch of worry for her absence, and she strategically giggled to let him know she was fine, this was a game, and she wanted him to play along. There was a moment of silence, and then an answering chuckle.

"Is that how it is?"

The silence stretched and Kaoru frowned, her back pressed up against one of the trees. What was he doing? Peeking at him again, she was surprised to find him standing still, unmoving, eyes closed. _Well, that's not how you play. Really, Kenshin, don't you even know how to play hide and seek?_ Pouting a bit and wondering if she shouldn't come out to explain and then start over, she froze as a warning shiver raced up her spine. Warrior instincts kicking in involuntarily, she jumped to another tree just in time to see his eyes pop open. A thick silence unlike the one before deafened her ears, and she bit back a gasp when she saw out of the corner of her eye the sleeve of his kimono appear next to the tree she was previously hiding behind. Jerking further around to keep from getting caught, her blue eyes widened as she realized what he was doing. _That is so cheating!_

Just like facing off with an opponent her brain ran through the scenarios and she knew in a split second that there was no way she was going to be able to hide from him any longer. Steadying her breath, knowing she had very little time to act, she braced her muscles… and took off running.

The sun slipped back behind a cloud at the same moment she heard Kenshin turn to watch. Using the trees to hide her progress, she thanked her decision to wear sandals instead of geta, and cursed her kimono. Putting a fair distance between her and her last hiding place, she slid to a stop behind another tree, and checked to see if he had followed. And there was the silence again, ominous and unsettling. He was taking this seriously.

Shaking her head, Kaoru knew better. If he was taking it seriously, he would have caught her already. Grinning at the thought, she jumped when he stepped out from behind a tree not five trunks away to her left, her adrenaline pounding loud in her ears.

"I found you."

The amusement in his voice made her giggle, and she turned to run again. This time he blatantly chased after her, and she squealed in delight as she dodged through the trees, their game of hide and seek quickly deteriorating into a game of tag. It didn't take long for him to close in on her, and she shot sideways to avoid getting caught. Placing the large trunk of a tree in between them, she ducked back and forth to keep it as a barrier. That boyish grin she liked so well was on his face, and he freely played along with her coy behavior, letting her lead him back and forth. Laughing around her gasps for air, she feinted to one side and then took off running again in the opposite direction.

Several more trees were given the unfortunate opportunity to shield her fleeing figure, and the grove echoed with their combined laughter. The sun once again made an appearance, lighting the grass with warm sunshine and casting shadows of their moving figures. Cornered once more behind a tree, Kaoru took a moment to rest, her blue eyes bright as she stared into the laughing gold just on the other side of the trunk.

"Do you give up?"

Grinning around her heavy breaths, trying not to feel chagrined that he didn't even seem winded, she lifted her chin haughtily. "Never." He laughed, and he never looked more human, or more boyish, than in that moment. Mood softening, she huffed out a breath. "I might concede to a draw, though."

"Ah." Considering her seriously, he seemed to weigh his options before nodding in mock gravity. "Very well, I accept." Suddenly amused, he stood straight, his arms crossing as he leaned against the tree. "You should know, my lady. I have never lost before."

Lifting a brow, Kaoru straightened as well and pushed away from the tree. "A draw isn't a loss."

"It isn't a win either, ne?"

"Oh." Eyes crinkling, Kaoru giggled. "I guess you're right. So does that mean I'm the only person who has ever forced you to accept a draw?"

"That's right." Leaning forward to look her intently in the eye, his lips twitched even as his words were stern. "Let's keep that between you and me. If Soujirou ever found out, I'd never hear the end of it."

Fighting her laughter, Kaoru tried to nod in a serious way to match. "Your secret is safe with me, my lord. I shall keep my proud victory inside and torment you only when we are alone." _It's not like I really won anyway._

"How magnanimous of you." Voice dry, he smiled when her giggles broke through, her bought of playfulness stirring a warm emotion to the surface inside his chest. Standing straight once more, he studied the expression on her face, his head falling to one side to rest against the tree trunk. It was nothing but beautiful, getting to watch her like this, and he was so glad he was being allowed a moment to enjoy her.

Sapphire eyes alight with laughter and love, Kaoru let her giggles trail off. The shadow of another cloud was concealing parts of the grove in a hazy gloom, darkening the expression on Kenshin's face so she could only recognize his amusement and the lingering effects of his laughter. Smiling up at him, she blinked as the cloud moved on, a gust of wind and the speed of the shadows suggesting swifter air currents up above. Blinded only briefly, she watched as his head tilted over to lean against the tree, his expression warming with the light, and caught her breath as something familiar tugged at her heart.

The look on his face. She knew that look, recognized it from somewhere. Smile faltering under bewilderment, her eyes widened as she suddenly remembered her dream. Shinta had looked like that in her dream, his features soft and loving as he gazed upon his wife. Smile fading completely, her subconscious disagreed. No. Not Shinta, but the painting. The painting Kenshin was even now hiding away in his room. A depiction of the two of them, together, happy, and he was looking at her with the same expression he was wearing even now; tender affection, adoring amusement, wonder, awe, longing… the look of a man in love.

It took only a couple seconds of her blank stare, however, to peel away that look from his face, replacing it with concern instead. Wanting to hold on to the emotion still warring within her, an emotion she was unable to articulate into an expression, she bit her lip and ducked back around the tree. Biting her lip hard, she balled her hands into her chest, closed her eyes, and pressed her back up against the rough surface of bark. She had wanted more than anything for him to look at her like that, and now that he had, she wanted desperately to drink up every detail of the way she felt and burn the image in her mind forever.

Confused and concerned by her retreat, Kenshin was indecisive for only a moment, wondering if he was allowed to follow her or not. Concern won out, and he took a tentative step forward, his hand trailing against the tree, his head stretching forward to find her. "Kaoru-dono?" Startled by her posture, he stepped closer until he was facing her, his hands hesitantly hovering over her shoulders. "What happened? Is something wrong?"

A stunning smile spread across her features, and she looked up at him, her eyes glistening with tears. The concern on his face wavered, unsure what to feel when she was smiling so happily and yet tearing up. The baffled look made her laugh softly. "Nothing's wrong, Kenshin. I'm just… happier than I have ever been in my life." Allowing him to pull her forward off the tree, she stood with only his hands touching her shoulders, only him anchoring her to reality. "Perhaps that's not very impressive, coming from a seventeen year old girl, but…" Wiping at her eyes, she sniffed. "I think it'll definitely take a lot to make me any happier than I am now."

Gazing down at her was a much different look of love, one full of distress, puzzlement, and compassion. "Then why are you crying, you silly woman?" Affection and the touch of his hands brushing once more at her tears softened the words into an endearment. Breathless and smiling, she shook her head.

"Because I love you so much, and I'm… I'm overwhelmed, that's all." Closing her eyes, her lips pouted, and she tried to bat his hands away. "Don't make fun of me, okay? I don't know why I'm crying."

Stepping closer, he pinned her arms against his chest, forcing her to give up on fighting him over clearing away her tears. "I would never make fun of you for crying, my lady." Golden irises wandering over the face now so close to his own, he felt overpoweringly encouraged by her still closed eyes. Arms adjusting to wrap around her shoulders, his hands slid from her face to the back of her skull and the slope between her shoulder blades. "Especially if it is because you are happy simply being in love with me." There was a touch of pain and awe in his whispered words, and her eyes opened just in time to part her lips in surprise.

The, at first, tentative touch of his mouth on hers was so incredibly warm and soft, a direct counterpoint to the cold and hard appearance of his outer shell. It revealed his true nature, a being alive and gentle and loving and so unlike the creature Tomoe had cast him to be. Kaoru already knew this, could count every single one of his traits that gave him away. Even still, it made her heart tremble with intense feeling, blending and dancing with the plain, loving knowledge that she was kissing the man she loved. Though plain was the last word she would ever use to describe the sensation. It felt like the only thing keeping her heart from leaping out of her throat was his mouth.

A small adjustment of his head, and his lips were just a little bit firmer, his arms just a little bit tighter. Fingers fisting into the cloth of his kimono, she tried to keep up with the sensation, but felt like she was drowning, spiraling into a sweet oblivion. A sweet fancy curved her lips into a smile against his. _No, not drowning. This is like flying. Like bursting through the clouds and witnessing a world that is burning with more color and warmth than even conceivable on land. I don't ever want to come down. I want to stay aloft, soaring lazily in this warmth and love._

Sighing as he pulled back, she smiled in pleased delight as his panted against her lips. _No chase will wind __**my **__lord. Only my lips can accomplish that._ Lashes fluttering apart, her grin widened as his chest vibrated with restrained laughter.

"And just what do you find so funny, my lord?"

Clawed fingers combed gently through her hair, and he smiled in return. "This pleased look on your face, my lady. I have never been as proud of myself as now, just knowing I have brought this look about." Tenderly he planted a kiss on the side of her mouth, his words lowering, almost bashfully. "Especially since I have no idea what I'm doing."

Having already known this, Kaoru's giggle was not astonished, but sympathetic in her own ignorance. "Me neither. My money's on we'll figure it out, though."

"Hmm. I have faith as well."

X

Kaoru giggled as the gently falling leaf touched down on her nose, her face wiggling to dislodge it. Deep laughter rumbled against her back at her plight, and seconds later a careful hand was plucking the leaf away. Leaning back into his chest, she dropped her head back to rest on his shoulder and stared up at the canopy of tree limbs and the cloudy sky above. Sighing into her hair, his arms wrapped around her, the sleeves of his kimono billowing into her lap, and held her closer against the hollow of his body.

It was getting later in the afternoon and they had made little progress in leaving the cherry grove. The wind was picking up a little, and there was a cooling touch in the air, but both were too comfortable to wish an end to their walk. A short walk that had quickly turned into a day out. Snuggling into his embrace, Kaoru chose not to feel bad about keeping him away from his duties for the afternoon. They had accomplished something on their own, and she refused to feel guilty. Well, at least completely guilty.

Grinning, she placed her hands over his, feeling warm despite the breeze, and safe despite her proximity to danger. For there was no doubt the man she was with was dangerous; consciously as well as unconsciously. Their game of hide and seek spoke of his stealth, speed, and grace. Their following moments of sweet intimacy showed her how irresistible the touch of love could be. They would have to be careful from now on not to let things go too far. Especially since they were both so inexperienced.

Teasingly, his wings wrapped around them, cocooning them inside a world of glowing red. Reflexively her knees drew up against her chest, and the strong legs bracketing her on either side did the same, encasing her further, surrounding her with him. Chin resting on her shoulder, he sighed again, a happy, contented noise that made her heart ache.

"This is how I like my world the most. Just you and me. No one else to bother us, no duties to worry about: no past, no present, no future… no curse." Sliding his chin back, he pressed his face into her kimono. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

The similar words partially echoed her dream, and she closed her eyes, but tried not to let them pull her away from the playfulness they were sharing. Squeezing his arms, she forced a laugh. "We would surely get bored."

She could feel his grin against her shoulder. "I'm sure we could find _something _to do."

Twisting in his grip, shock made her laugh incredulously. "What's this? A couple measly kisses and you think you're a master now?"

"Measly kisses? I don't see what was measly about them?"

"Well, we do still have a lot to learn."

"See. We won't get bored. We have to train."

"Train?"

"To be a master."

"A master of kissing? Who are you going to brag to about that one?"

Smiling, Kenshin pulled her closer into his chest. "Just you."

Waiting in anticipation as his head lowered towards her, she closed her eyes. "Better be just me."

Half-sprawled on his chest, her arms encircled his neck, tightening as he angled the kiss. Still sheltered by his wings, his warmth, and his arms, she felt truly isolated from the outside world, focused purely on him. So when he tensed slightly in surprise, her eyes shot open without hesitation to see what was wrong.

Lips breaking apart, he blinked and grinned sardonically. "I don't think boredom would be our problem, Kaoru-dono. Soaking wet might, however."

"What?" Question barely out of her mouth, she felt three sharp drops of moisture hit the top of her head, and still partially dazed, she looked up to see what was going on. Through the trees she could see that the sky was now fully dark with ominous rain clouds, and they were about to let loose on their cherry grove. "Oh. I think you're right."

"Come on. Let's get out of here before we're drenched." Lifting her to her feet as he stood himself, he took her hand and led her back through the trees.

X

Laughing as he tugged her up onto the veranda, Kaoru tripped into his side, their sopping wet clothing slapping together with a smack. Not even completely out of the trees and the rain had started to fall. By the time they had made it fully into the city, they were already soaked. Forgoing the offerings for shelter by the townsfolk, Kaoru had pulled Kenshin insistently back towards the palace. Since they were already wet, and it wasn't a thunder storm, she didn't see the harm in continuing their walk. Anyway, Kaoru loved walking in the rain.

Now under the shelter of the palace awnings, they stopped to rest, their hair and clothing dripping small puddles on the walkways where they disappeared through the spaced planking. Pulling herself up, their clothing peeling apart reluctantly, she shook out her sleeves and pushed her limp bangs away from her face. "Well, that was fun." Giggling, she reached over to detach his own sleeve from his wing.

"You're going to catch a cold, Kaoru-dono." Meticulously plucking each wet strand off of her face, he frowned in concern, already regretting their hike through the downpour.

"Stop worrying so much, Kenshin." Slapping at his hands, she pursed her lips. "I enjoyed everything about today. I don't want to ruin it by worrying."

"Then don't give me cause to worry." Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he led her down the walkway. "As soon as the bath is ready you will go straight in the tub and then into some dry clothes. Then you will have some tea while we wait for supper. And please dress warmly. You could catch a chill without knowing."

"Yes, Dad." Rolling her eyes, Kaoru looked away, briefly distracted by the still open doorway to the shrine. Only… before it was barely ajar. Now, it was halfway open. Was there something in particular Tomoe was watching?

"I'm being serious, Kaoru-dono. I don't want you getting sick again."

Sighing, her attention drawn back to him, she smiled at the sweet concern in his voice. Leaning over suddenly, she planted a quick kiss on his lips. "I know. I'll do as you ask, but only because I don't want you frowning at me for the rest of the evening."

Relaxing enough to smile back, he tightened his arm and pulled her in for a longer kiss. "Thank you." Leaning his forehead against hers, he pouted and she blinked in shock. "We'll have to restrain ourselves here at the palace, my lady. The servants have a bad habit of spreading gossip."

"Oh… I guess you're right." Not too eager on having the entire population in the know on what they had only recently started to enjoy, Kaoru immediately vowed to watch herself.

Dropping his arm, he stood a bit straighter and looked decidedly uncomfortable. "I think it… might also be best if you have Misao accompany you more often." One dark brow lifted, and he cleared his throat, a clawed-hand scratching his scalp. "A young lady should really have a chaperone with her at all times. For protection."

Kaoru stopped, blinked, and then her mouth dropped open. "From you?" Kenshin did not say anything, but did not look her in the eye either. "Really? You would…?"

Golden eyes shot back to hers. "No."

"Then why?"

"I think it would be best, considering…"

_Considering neither of us is experienced, and both of us are a bit eager? _Filling in the blanks in her head, Kaoru bit her lip. "I trust you, Kenshin." Her serious confession softened the look in his eyes, and she swallowed. Wanting to make him smile again, she tossed her head haughtily, her next words teasing to lighten the mood. "After all, even when under the influence of my _considerable_ charm, you are still a hopeless gentleman."

It worked, his chuckles sudden and unexpected. Grabbing his hand, she dragged him down the veranda. "Come on, my gallant sir. I have duties to fulfill. I'm needed in the bath before I catch a cold and my lord gets angry at me."

X

A/N: That wasn't how I had envisioned ending the chapter, but after everything that was altered in the chapter itself, I think I got everything across that I wanted to in it, so the ending wasn't really necessary. Besides, the next chapter will get to hint at a few of the things I wanted to put in, so it's not a total loss.

Oh, and by the way, I'm doomed! Cursed! Plagued by these chapters that just keep getting longer and longer, spreading themselves out underneath more poor worn fingers as I type and slave away with this blasted laptop, eating up what little time I have to myself. I hope you enjoy them, because I have worked hard to give them especially to you. Please say you do.

Now that I seem to be a bit scatterbrained, let's get back to the story. Sano at the beginning is really only a prelude to what is going on in his life. I made him so depressing, but I wanted to do something different than what I've put everyone else through. I hope it will be good enough to entertain, and sound realistic enough to fit his character… even just a little. After all… I'm playing off of his no real purpose that he seemed to have in the manga. Just a wandering brawler, beating people up for money. We'll see how it turns out.

On to Kenshin and Kaoru… what is there to say? They're so cute to write! I have so much fun with those two. The kitten was something I've wanted to do since the beginning. I have cats of my own, and I just knew his tail would be a great source of amusement for a cat. Also, I had someone comment on the children and their behavior, so I hope this clears that up for you. A good point, and I'm glad you brought it to my attention. I thought I had mentioned something about it before when Kaoru was visiting Tokio, but looking back on it, it didn't really explain anything. So this is hopefully a little bit better. I hope everyone liked their first kiss. Once again, it was something that didn't turn out the way I had imagined, but perhaps just a bit better suited to the situation and characters, anyway. Also… Kenshin got a bit playful after. Is that just a guy thing? My boyfriend is like that, anyway. Perhaps he has finagled his way into my story by bugging me all day. Who knows.

One last thing… I must brag and brag and brag! I, this lowly little writer, have finally had someone draw, or rather paint, a picture for one of my stories. This story, obviously since I'm telling you here. I am so thrilled and honored; I don't know what to do with myself. Knowing someone has put the effort and taken the time to think about my story so much that they would wish to put it to canvas! Aw, sweet ecstasy. Anyway, everyone should look it up. Just go to deviantartdotcom and search for caseyedith in the search bar. It should take you straight to the pic. It's got my name and the title to Cursed on it and everything! So cool! Thanks again caseyedith! You're awesome!

Thanks again, and please leave me a review. Next chapter… soft confessions, bitter arguments, and summer love.


	35. Transient Revelations

First things first… there was a bit of a misunderstanding about the shrine in the last chapter. Some people thought that there was a crack in the shrine as in it was broken… what I was trying to say was the door was cracked as in open and Tomoe was looking outside. Nothing's broken or breaking, it was just the door being open. I fixed and reposted the chapter, and I apologize for the confusion. Read on.

Disclaimer: You see, it's like this… I only thought to borrow them…

**Chapter 35: Transient Revelations**

_Soft and pink the small glass petal glowed, shining like a beacon in the darkness, captivating his attention. It was bright, blinding, and warm… but coldness seeped into his heart the longer he stared. The necklace he had so painstakingly created for her was being given back. Kaoru was leaving._

"_I don't want it anymore."_

_Eyes finally drawn from the dangling bauble, Kenshin focused the wide golden depths on her face. He felt so numb. A part of him was already dying. "Why?" Voice barely more than a breath of air, he ignored the persistent hand offering his gift back._

"_I don't belong here. I don't belong with you. I never really loved you, Kenshin. I just felt sorry for you. But I can't pretend anymore. Your appearance disgusts me, your manner is frustrating, and I could never forgive your past. Father said it is part of my discipline to try, but who could ever forgive you for what you've done? You murdered innocent people, and I think this curse is far too lenient a punishment."_

"_But…" Swallowing with difficulty, Kenshin tried to argue in desperation. "you were always so earnest and sincere. What you're saying cannot be true. Your tears, they were not fake. They could not have been. And the trust in your eyes? You cannot tell me that was a façade."_

"_No? Really, Kenshin, you are so easily fooled. You know so little of feminine wiles."_

_Knowing their was truth in her words, he could feel defeat moving in, the denial in his heart too weak and fragile to stand up against his worst fears. Eyes drifting away from her, he stared once more at the still suspended necklace. "Why? Why would you go through so much trouble? You could not have felt that sorry for me."_

_She shrugged. "Why not? You were threatening my father. I had to make sure he was safe, and after awhile I began to think that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad living here. After all, it is a palace, and you have so many servants to wait on me hand and foot. Of course they're all a bunch of disgusting animals, but I thought I could overlook that. Especially since I got to wear such beautiful and exquisite kimono. It seemed like a perfect way to live, and I'd never have to work another day in my life or worry about going hungry." She shrugged again. "I thought I could put up with all your flaws if it meant living this comfortably, but… I can't." The way she said it was so nonchalant._

"_You can't." Echoing her numbly, he let his eyes fall closed._

"_Who could? Come on, Kenshin, be realistic. Who could ever love you?"_

"_You're right." Utterly crushed, he whispered in pained agreement. "No one could ever love me. No one…"_

"_Good." Her voice sounded pleased that he finally understood. "Now take this ugly thing off my hands so I can go home already."_

_Gasping shakily for breath, he opened his eyes and extended both palms out to accept the necklace. Dropping the chain as if it were repulsive, she turned before it even had the chance to settle completely against the red of his skin. Brows quivering to hold back his emotion, his clawed fingers convulsed around the delicate necklace, creating a bowl around its crumpled form. A moment later the pink glass petal flashed white, and he was suddenly blinded. When his sight returned, he stared dazedly down at a different pair of hands holding the now blackened trinket._

_They were pale, even, except for a few hardened calluses, and they responded to his surprise when he tensed. Trembling in shocked understanding, he brought one hand quickly to his face, running the pads of his fingers up his smooth skin and into his hair, searching but not finding the small horns there. The truth was slow to accept, but when it did, he was looking up, his voice calling after the woman who wished to leave because she found him disgusting._

"_Kaoru-dono!" Eyes darting to and fro, he fruitlessly searched the surrounding darkness. "Kaoru-dono, come back! It's gone! The curse is gone! I'm normal again!" Voice echoing hollowly, he frowned, his breathing rapid in anxiety. "Please come back. I'll try again. I'll be what you want this time. Just don't leave. Please don't leave."_

X

When Kenshin came awake he found his eyes were already open, staring sightlessly across the mattress under his cheek. The rhythm of his heartbeat was out of control, pumping adrenaline through his veins and into his brain, calling for action, though he was lost to what kind. Every muscle tense as his lungs tried to keep up with his heart, it took several long seconds before he was able to gain control of his faculties. It took much longer for the adrenaline to leave.

Panting and sweaty, his breathing almost back to normal, he closed his eyes. Submerged in sudden darkness, he was unable to ignore the emotions building up within him; the anxiety that was twisting his insides to the point of pain. The dream… it was everything he had ever feared hearing from his lady. It was everything he feared she thought already. Shivering violently, he shifted so that his face pressed firmly into the mattress, an old habit from his younger years forcing him to conceal his turmoil in fear of punishment. Fists and jaw clenching, he fought the drowning acceptance of fallacy with his own wavering notions of reality.

_It was just a dream. It was not real. It was only a reflection of fear. Kaoru is not that way. She is loving and kind and fierce… not deceptive and greedy and conceited. She cares for you… she has done so much to prove that she does. She has even admitted to loving you. Would she laugh with you if she found you frustrating? Would she argue with you if she did not care for your well-being? Would she kiss you if she found you disgusting?_

Reality was becoming firmer as he reminded himself of their past interactions, and with the sharpening of his waking world the harshness of his own mental vices faded. Opening his eyes once more, he took a deep breath, the mattress coming back into focus. _Another surety. I am sleeping in this futon because of Kaoru and her own worry for me._ After their baths and supper, Kaoru had questioned Megumi as she had said she would, and the physician had indeed been in the possession of a set of massage stones. Soon afterwards he had found himself lying face down in his room, the top half of his yukata bunched around the tie at his waist, and letting the hot stones heat out the tension in his back. Megumi had sat on one side, instructing Kaoru on what to do, Kaoru had been on the other, soothingly brushing his hair as they let the stones do their job. Kenshin had fallen asleep before they had even had the chance to exchange the hot stones for chilled ones.

Experimentally sitting up, Kenshin rolled his shoulders, surprised and pleased to find that his muscles were free of pain. As he sat back on his feet, his knees spread, the blanket that had been draped over his shoulders dropped to the floor. They must have continued the process after he had fallen asleep. Briefly he was thankful Megumi was there the entire time.

_She loves you. She has said so… you have seen so… there is nothing to question._

Even as his dream became less and less real to his mind, his heart still quivered in fear. Fear of her rejection. Fear of her deception. She had said such horrible things, such truthful things. What if… what if he was wrong? _No. Kaoru did not say those things. It was only a dream. Kaoru is good. _But what did he know about women? He was so inexperienced. The only example of a lady he truly had was his mother, and she had hidden much from his father. It had all been for the safety of her son, but she was still forced to be deceptive. Forced or not, however, Kinuko had shown she was greatly adept at it. Was it only because she was afraid for her child… or was it because she was a woman?

Standing angrily, he paced back and forth around his room, arguing with himself; trying to convince his heart to be calm. So much had happened the day before, there was no reason for his doubt and unease. The two of them were closer than ever, were sharing more and more with each other, solidifying their bond. She made him feel so much he thought at times he was losing his mind, his focus scattered as he tried to process everything at once. It was exhilarating, confusing, but most of all… relieving. Not just because she had proven that he was capable of more than he had ever thought possible, but because he now understood what it all meant. Two people in love usually wanted to stay together. She would stay with him, because she was in love with him.

_But Kaoru is not bound by this curse. She could easily have a life not affected by its restrictions. She may love you, but would she not be better off with someone who could grow old with her? Someone that would be able to give her a family? She is the only child of her father's bloodline. What would happen to his school if she were to forego bearing any children just to stay with you? You may be willing to overlook all of this, but is she? Do you think she has even thought about it? What will happen when she does? Do you think she will stay? Or will she leave? Leave like everyone else in your life, abandoning you to this empty, maddening solitude? What would you do if she did?_

"Stop it." Pleading, he leaned his forehead into a wall. "She'll stay. I know she'll stay." The words were shaky and unconvincing, his doubts feeding off his insecurity. It was so much easier to believe in the love she spoke of when she was near him. So much easier when she was in his arms. It seemed unfair that yesterday he was a part of that security and thinking nothing of these deceptive reservations and just hours later he was questioning their entire relationship. Did she ever feel this way, too? He doubted it. Kaoru was always sure about her actions. Sure enough to comfort him into forgetting his own indecisiveness.

_I hate this feeling. I don't want to feel this way about her. I don't want to think the worst. It's wrong. I want to feel like I did with her yesterday: watching her laugh in the cherry grove; wiping at her tears born of love; kissing her soft, full lips. Nothing mattered then but her, nothing had the chance to make me doubt._

A sudden, crippling emptiness filled him and he felt so incredibly heavy: achy. He wanted her back in his arms, he needed for her to be there. Just an embrace, just her presence soothing his. It would alleviate all of his worries, like a panacea for his troubled heart. Briefly he fought the notion with arguments of impropriety, but he could not dispute his reasons. They were innocent enough. All he needed was reassurance. Kaoru gave him that and still more.

Shrugging into his yukata, he ignored the untied flap at the back and slid open the shoji to his room, stepping down into the surrounding hall. Pushing open the outer tsumado showed that it was still raining, a relentless barrage of stinging droplets curtaining the open air. It was early, as well. Really early. Only the guard patrol and the kitchen staff would be up this early. If Kenshin was careful enough, no one would catch him entering or leaving Kaoru's pavilion. Such a happening would cause a harmful misunderstanding of his intentions if he were seen.

The breeze was chilly with moisture, and he was glad the walk was short between Kaoru's pavilion and his. Steps hurried and light, he slipped quickly into the hall of her pavilion, a strange swell of urgency dampening his hesitance. That feeling did not return until he was standing completely within her room, staring down at her peacefully sleeping figure. It was so dark he could only see the vague shape of her body covered by a blanket, but he could smell her easily enough. Like the after-scent of her soap in the bathhouse, only it was stronger here. Perhaps because there was no other scent to contest it. Suddenly uncomfortable, he doubted his presence in her rooms.

It was the darkness, he realized. It made it easy to hide: his intentions; his feelings; his thoughts. Such concealment made him too relaxed in his indecency and brought forward wants that seemed harmless enough at first, but were just a doorway to temptation. The very reason he had decided to only spend time alone with Kaoru when the situation was safe. This situation was not as safe as he had originally convinced himself it would be. Wishing to use her presence to assuage his fears was fine, but alone like this, in her room, so early in the morning… such emotional turmoil was not stable. Holding her here would not be safe.

_But I don't want to leave. I've accomplished nothing. Seeing her isn't enough. I still feel doubt, I still feel edgy and anxious. _Closing his eyes to steady his unrest, her words from the dream echoed in his head, twisting at his chest. _I need the solid reassurance of her blithely in my arms._ _I'll take her somewhere safe._

Movements careful, he gathered her, blanket and all, into his arms. Lost in deep sleep, she didn't notice nor did she seem to care about the change in her cushion, her head tilting limply into his shoulder. Pleased that he had not disturbed her, he turned to the doorway and carried her out.

The chill outside pulled the first reaction from her, her body instinctively seeking out warmth as she curled into him. Again he doubted himself and his actions. It was selfish of him to do this. Frowning, he glanced at her face, her features clearer now that they were in a place with slightly more light. _Something like this wouldn't make her change her mind… would it? If she loves me… _She stirred, a pout forming on her lips as she murmured sleepily. "Tha's cheading… jees, Ken-shi…" A moment later the pout disappeared, replaced by a brief smile, "…stop…," before she relaxed once more, pulled deeper into her dream.

_She dreams of me? _The cold and disquiet in his heart warmed instantly, and he closed his eyes in relief. Not even awake and she was giving him what he needed.

A short walk took them to the covered, open platform just south of her eastern pavilion, its veranda bordering the main courtyard. The pond was an agitated surface of ripples and splashes, its murky depths churning as the rain beat down on it relentlessly. It was a strangely soothing noise, a shivering hiss that rarely changed tempo or tone. Settling himself down against one of the posts opposite the direction of wind, Kenshin adjusted Kaoru so that she rested in his lap; secure, warm, and sill very much unconscious. Sighing in shaky contentment, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, willing himself to appreciate every beautiful aspect of his surroundings to mollify his heart and mind.

The noise in his ears was calming: Kaoru's soft breathing; the drone of rain as it hit the roof, the ground, the pond; his own breathing, a louder, slightly quicker pace than hers. A deep breath pulled in through his nose. The fragrance in the air was alluring: the refreshing tang of moisture; wet dirt; moist plant life; damp wood; jasmine soap. Tightening his arms, her form became more distinct through the thick layer of blanket. The feel of her against him was welcoming: the gentle curve of her skull resting against his neck and shoulder; her legs draped over his; how her ribs pushed into him and then away; how he knew for certain that she was there and no where else. Parting his lashes, he looked down at her. The overwhelming beauty of everything in his sight was almost unbearable, and it wasn't just her physical beauty, but the wonder of her being there at all.

Lifting the hand resting lightly on her knees, he tentatively touched her relaxed face, tracing the invisible track her tears liked to follow. Fingers slipping below her chin, he cradled her jaw between thumb and forefinger, tilting her head back so he could look on her better. Eyes traveling lazily over her features, he tried to avoid the urging insistence he felt to focus on her lips, but it was a losing battle. Taste was the only sense he had yet to appreciate, and he already knew what she tasted of. Pure, sweet emotion. Knowing, however, only made it harder to resist.

No longer trapped in a world of confusion and doubt, he felt peaceful once more with their relationship. Nothing had changed, his dream was not something he needed to worry over, and he knew without needing to rationalize that Kaoru loved him. Caught now in a different bubble of emotion, he braced his thumb under her chin and curled the rest of his fingers around the side of her neck. Holding her had brought him back to the astonishing reality they had created together. Now he wanted to kiss her and remember a place far removed from real life. A place more like paradise.

It was amazing how easy one small thing liked to lead to another.

"_I trust you, Kenshin."_ Frowning, he paused, his face pressed close to hers. This was not a suitable show of respect for the trust she had given him so easily. He needed to contain himself. Brushing the black claw on his thumb lightly across her bottom lip, his frown softened into a look of yearning. Still… the urge was overwhelming, but it wouldn't be exactly consensual if he did, and they had only just introduced the intimacy into their relationship yesterday.

Reluctantly he pulled back, but ran his thumbnail one last time along her lip in longing, wishing she were awake. Hopeful thoughts affecting his actions, her eyelashes fluttered in response to his unconsciously forceful touch. Breath catching in her throat, he knew she was awake the moment she started breathing through her nose instead of her mouth. Sitting up all the way so she wouldn't be startled, he watched fearfully as her eyes opened enough to see how his desires had relocated her.

At first she merely blinked, then slightly jerked as if she had only just woken up, but she quickly relaxed, her eyes focusing blearily on his face.

"Good-morning."

She smiled sleepily in response to his whispered greeting.

"'Morning." Yawning, she burrowed herself a little further into his arms. "Why's it so clammy?"

Brows furrowing in worry, he tucked the blanket more firmly around her. "We're outside. Are you cold?"

"Nah… it's not bad. You're warm." Her nose pushed into the hollow of his shoulder, and he could feel the chill from her exposed skin seep through his clothing. "What are we doing outside anyway?"

"I…" Swallowing, he looked away. "I woke up and just… wanted to hold you again. That's all."

Finally perceptive enough to see more than just her immediate focus, she recognized where they were. "You didn't have to bring me out here to do that. Really, Kenshin. We could've stayed in my room." Chastising him affectionately, she still smiled, pleased by his confession.

Slowly his head shook. "That would have been very improper, Kaoru-dono. I should not have even entered your room while you were sleeping. This was the only way I could think of to protect you and still get to hold you." She rolled her eyes at him, and it brought a smile to his lips. "Perhaps I thought it might be nice to watch the sunrise, as well."

"Kenshin…" Raising an eyebrow, she laughed. "It's raining."

"So it is." Chuckling with her, he smoothed back her bangs.

"My crazy Lord Himura… you are just too sweet. I love that about you." Sighing happily, she closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch, his fingers pausing momentarily at her address.

"I have never heard you use _that_ name, my lady."

Shrugging, she spoke dismissively. "I like using Kenshin better. It's more personal and it makes me feel special." Looking up at the small frown marring his face, she felt a moment of regret. "I didn't mean to upset you. I won't use your surname again if you don't want me to."

Thoughtfully deciphering his reaction, he shook his head. "No… do not worry, my lady. Perhaps hearing you say it will make me dislike it less."

Relaxing once again against his chest, Kaoru shifted under the blanket to bring her hands closer to her face. "Not that it matters, but… I like your name. Your whole name." Yawning, she turned her nose into his collarbone. "I think I'll use it more often from now on, since you said it's okay."

"Is that right?" Amused, his annoyance melted away.

"Mmm." Noncommittal, he felt her body sag in his arms, sleep still wishing to claim her back into the land of dreams. Hiding his vulnerable expression in her hair, his voice lowered.

"You may address me however you wish, my lady, whether you have permission or not. Whatever will make you happy, will make me happy."

"Hmm." Dozing and unable to rouse herself enough to reply intelligibly, she mumbled, her lips brushing his yukata material. "I like 'Kenshin' best."

The sky was getting lighter as Kaoru slipped back into a light sleep, but the rain did not let up. Shivering once, he hugged her a bit tighter, the exposed skin of his back uncomfortable. Even still, he was happy, and there seemed to be no end to the emotion. Every new moment they shared he thought he could never be any happier, but then the next moment would come along and prove him wrong. Although this adventure's original purpose was for reassurance only, she always succeeded in surprising him. He was getting his reassurance and a nice bonus as well.

Just her presence had calmed him; learning that she dreamed of him as well had lessened his agitation. It was amazing how the small, insignificant details were what helped him to understand that what he was experiencing was real. Hearing that she loved him was great, but most of the time it was the words that seemed to add less meaning to their conversations that pleased him. Sometimes it was what she didn't say at all. It was also the way she so easily recognized his insecurities and then effortlessly destroyed them. Or perhaps it wasn't recognition but just coincidence, he could not say for sure. Perhaps it was only his own influence that hinted at what was wrong. His own thoughts reflecting themselves into his voice and feelings and she automatically responded to alleviate his woes. Was this what it meant to be loved by a woman?

"… _you are just too sweet. I love that about you."_

The sudden use of his surname had deafened him to the rest of the sentence, but it clearly echoed in his head now. _"I love that about you."_ It was a soothing contradiction to the words his dream had so scathingly spoken to him. _"…your manner is frustrating…"_ So she didn't find him frustrating. Smiling abruptly, he leaned his head back and stared out at the rain. _No. I'm sure she finds me very frustrating at times. Just as I do her, but… I know that in the dream that is not what was meant. _A small frown twitched his brow. _I am relieved to know that she is not annoyed by my manner. I… I would not know how to be any other way… but I would try if she wished for me to._ Dropping his eyes to her, he brought his hand back to touch her cheek. _I would rather be myself, though. I am glad she is accepting. I am glad she finds it sweet._

Tilting the palm of his hand, he studied the contrast of his red skin next to her own pure ivory. He liked touching her. Her skin was so soft, not marred and rough like the scales covering his own body, and he was grateful that the palm-side of his hands were not scaled so he could actually feel her. Anything that came into contact with the scaled part of his body was numbed, shielded, and desensitized by the hard shell. After a thousand years he had grown used to it, but that night she had bandaged his wounds after their fall from the cliff had shocked him with the reminder. The tentative touch of her linen covered hand against the unprotected skin of his belly had felt so strangely intense he had jerked. Not because she had touched a wound, but it had still hurt. At least the thick skin and calluses on his hands saved him from that acute sensitivity. It was at once a blessing, and at the same time, something else to add to his curse.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Kenshin." Eyes still very much closed, she shifted in his lap. "Stop thinking so much. You tense up and get uncomfortable." Her grumbling made him smile unwillingly. Flattening his palm once more over her cheek, he felt briefly envious of her confidence.

"Do you… not wish I were normal?"

Slowly sapphire irises peeked up at him through her lashes, and it was his turn to shift uncomfortably. "Of course I do, Kenshin." Though the answer could not be wrong, his heart still sank. "It pains me that you've had to endure so much suffering, and I'll do anything I can to help break the spell you are under." Wrestling gently against the blanket, she freed an arm and mimicked his touch. "But I won't love you any more or less than I do right now. I mean… nobody falls in love with someone they don't find attractive in the first place, right?" A dark red blush spread all the way down her neck but she laughed as his eyes widened and he tensed in confusion. "Does that sound weird to you?"

"A-a little."

Giggling, she pinched his nose. "Attraction isn't all about outer appearances. There are a lot of things about you that have nothing to do with how you look that I find attractive."

"Tell me."

Bemused by the sudden command, Kaoru held his gaze for a couple seconds, trying to read his mood. He needed this, she realized. She softened her tone. "I like your hands. I think they were the first thing about you that I noticed I liked. They are very strong, and it takes a lot of self-control to restrain that strength, but you are never careless. Your touch is always very gentle.

"You are disciplined in everything you do. Your manners, your actions, I suspect even your thoughts." Smiling affectionately, she started to play with his loose hair. "I guess I might be purely envious of this trait, but I like that you are disciplined. If you were not, you would not be such a great master. You wouldn't really be you if you were not.

"You are so very kind, but behind that you can be strict when the need arises. But mostly you are kind, and it is all the more attractive because I know you are so strong. You don't abuse your strength, you protect instead. Do you want me to continue?" Looking at him curiously, she smiled at his silent nod. He looked so serious. "Okay." Chewing her lip, she laughed as a thought came to her. "I like that you are surprisingly adaptable for an old man." A frown instantly puckered his brow and she laughed again, her hand unconsciously smoothing across his face in an attempt to appease. "I mean, you weren't very accommodating at first, but I understand why a little better now. It's with other things, like how you reacted to my training, and how you always listen, like I might have something important to say. You never make me feel like I'm just some silly woman in a man's world. I really mean this in a good way, so don't be mad but… for someone as old as you it's nice that you're not unreasonable."

"That's your idea of a compliment?" Golden eyes were narrowed, but Kaoru could tell he wasn't really angry. Grinning, she nodded. "I'll have you know, my lady, being reasonable is a requirement for someone my age."

"Really?" Trying not to laugh, her sapphire eyes danced with suppressed mirth.

"Hmm. Is there anything else?" The offhand way he was handling the conversation wavered just enough for her to understand he was still uncertain. What else could she say to make him see?

"My lord, your list of attractive qualities is quite long, so it won't be hard to conjure a few more for your enjoyment." Flirting teasingly, she pulled a bunch of loose red hair over his shoulder and swatted him in the face with it. "Your hair, for example. I am quite attracted to it. Perhaps it's just my girly side, but I could play with your hair all day if you let me." Blinking he pulled his head back in a weak attempt to keep from getting hit again. "Your wings, too, of course. I'm sure you know by now how much I enjoy flying. Oh, and your eyes. I like them because they let me know what mood you're in. Then your tail, it's fun; that kitten yesterday was too cute when you were playing. And your horns; I like the face you make when I scratch around them…."

"I thought you said attraction isn't only about appearance?"

Shrugging off his confusion, Kaoru blinked innocently. "It's not, but I don't mind the way you look either." The frown that had been threatening the creases around his eyes formed completely and she knew it was always going to come back to this. It was always going to be about the way he looked. Sitting up in his arms a bit straighter, Kaoru held his intent gaze before leaning her forehead into the side of his jaw. The question that he needed to hear came her in that moment. "Would you not care for me anymore if I were trapped in a similar form?" Every one of his muscles stiffened and she could tell this thought had never once occurred to him. "If I were in your place instead, and you were in mine… would you find me repulsive?"

"No." There was no less meaning in his whispered reply than if he had shouted it, and Kaoru hoped he understood everything it meant. "How could I? You are so beautiful, not just on the outside, but the inside as well. I could never…" A small intake of breath cut him off, her hand gently caressing his cheek. The meaning was sinking in.

"Well, what if I were an animal instead, like the others? What if I was a raccoon? Could you still… love me?" Though she tried to play the question off nonchalantly, Kaoru still held her breath. Though she had spoken of love, he had not.

Kenshin was silent for so long Kaoru started to worry, but when she tried to pull back his arms tightened, stilling her. "Nothing could ever make me love you any less. Nothing." _He said he loves me!_ Squeezing her eyes shut, she leaned harder against him. "Besides…" Humor entered his voice. "If you were a raccoon you'd fit in my lap a little easier."

Laughing, Kaoru lifted her head to give him a look that was only half-annoyed. "I'm going to ignore the insinuation in that statement, mister, and instead tease you with food for thought. I'd be really soft all over as a raccoon."

Chuckling, he carefully ran his thumb down her temple. "Well… at least that wouldn't change." Blushing pink, sapphire eyes averted to her lap. "Thank you, Kaoru-dono. I needed this."

_Really?_ Curious of his claim, she forgot her shyness and looked back up. It was lighter now, the rising sun making itself known through the thick layer of rain clouds. Kenshin's features were much clearer than they had been, and as she stared up at him staring off into the distance, she thought there was something a little strange about the reflection in his golden irises. Feeling her intent gaze, he tilted his chin down to stare back, and for a moment her breathing stopped.

_They're violet. His eyes, they're… normal._ There was no vertical pupil, and the iris no longer covered the entire expanse of his eye. She could see the whites now, as if they truly belonged to a human, and the irises were a very gentle amethyst color. _It's just like in my dream. He looks just like that little boy; happy and innocent and full of love._

Just like the day before, the blank look on her face drove away his contentment and ease and replaced it with concern and worry. The violet of his eyes faded, and with only one blink the gold was back; still warm and loving, but the innocence and happiness was buried once more underneath his adult responsibilities. "Kaoru-dono?"

Ghosting a finger lightly under one of his eyes in awe, she didn't answer immediately. _It was real! I can't believe it!_ Focusing when he called her name a second time, she smiled and he was cautiously reassured. _I found you! I really did it! _Giggling she wrapped both arms around his neck and squeezed, ignoring his stuttering confusion. _I know what I need to do now! I understand! This is going to work! It's really going to work!_

Caught up in her moment of glee, Kaoru relaxed her crazed hold just enough to plant a smacking kiss on his lips. Giggling when she pulled back, his wide eyes looking her over warily, she leaned in and kissed him again just because he looked so shocked. Lingering this time she felt him give in, his sharp claws and strong fingers digging themselves carefully into her hair. Pulling her closer, the slightest tilt of his head altered the playful atmosphere, heightening the emotion behind it. Relaxing against his chest and letting herself get swept away in the moment, her last teasing thought wondered what had happened to that chaperone idea Kenshin was so adamant about yesterday.

X

"Sanooosuke. There you are." Giggling and teasing, Misao popped her head over the side of the veranda to stare down at the sleeping mutt hiding up under the planking. It was late evening and the sun was going down, but the temperature was not. After all the random rainstorms over the last few weeks the atmosphere was muggy and humid. The cool, damp dirt under the buildings was the perfect place to relax.

Lifting one eyelid reluctantly, Sano stared at the chipper weasel, annoyed already with her voice and presence. He knew why she was there, and a part of him dreaded it. Another part just wanted to get the torture over with so he could rest. An old man deserved some rest.

"What do you want?" The question was forced, resigned, but it did nothing to dampen her zeal.

"I think you know. There's just two more weeks before summer. I've been pretty fair, I think, considering I know for a fact I won the bet we made about a month ago. It's time for you to pay up."

"What bet?" A surly part of him hated losing, even as he knew it was useless. He hated letting her win so easily.

"Don't play dumb, idiot." Laughing, Misao hopped down onto the ground in front of him. "The one we made about the master and the lady. I let you slide on the terms more than once, you're not getting out of this one."

"I still say the terms weren't fair."

"Don't be such a sore loser. I've won this bet about four times now, but you kept wanting to change the conditions so I let you. First it was they wouldn't be interested in each other at all. Then it was they wouldn't fall in love. After that it was they wouldn't admit it before summer. We finally decided on a simple bet and I'm not letting you out of it again."

Grumbling, Sano flicked his tail. "What were the conditions we decided on again? I don't remember."

Growling, Misao scowled at him. "You are so frustrating! _I _bet that the master and Lady Kaoru would kiss before the end of spring and _you _maintained that it wouldn't be until after summer started. It's two weeks to summer and they've been stealing kisses for over a month now."

"Really? I haven't seen this." Blowing off her information like he could care less, Sano returned to dozing.

"Not many people have. They've been really private and careful about their interactions. You know how the master is. He's done everything he can to make sure Kaoru's honor has been protected."

"Well isn't that the way it's supposed to be? How would you feel if everyone was in your personal business?"

"W-well…" Flustered, Misao stuttered. "That's not the point. Dammit, Sanosuke! The point is I won the bet, so it's time to pay up."

"Not until I see it for myself. You could be just making up whatever you want, and how can I trust the rumors that go around here? I won't believe any of it until I've seen it."

"Argh! You're just being stubborn! You know for a fact this isn't something anyone would just make up. Besides, they're getting sloppy. Tae said she caught them kissing over the table just yesterday."

"Could have been a misunderstanding for all I know."

"Would you stop being such an ass! You're starting to sound spiteful!"

Grunting, Sano stood and stretched. "And you're annoying."

"At least I don't sound like I'm upset that the master and lady are happy."

"What are you talking about? I just don't want to pay up without any proof I've lost. It's called playing it smart, pipsqueak."

"If you actually woke up out of your lazy stupor every now and again you'd have noticed a long time ago. All you have to do is look at the master. Look at his eyes. There's all the proof you need right there."

"You're losing it, weasel. What the hell does his eyes have to do with kissing?"

Bristling with anger, Misao looked more like an angry cat than a weasel. "You know what, you lousy mutt? Just forget it! Be a coward for the rest of your miserable life, see if I care. You never take responsibility for anything. No wonder Megumi gave up on you ages ago." Cursing under her breath, Misao turned and left, too irritated to argue with an idiot.

"No wonder nothing, you pest." Muttering, Sano squeezed himself back out into the open and shook most of the dirt from his matted coat. It seemed he had gotten himself out of the bet, but it wasn't very satisfying. Perhaps because it was the only thing he had to look forward to in his empty life. Without it… what did he really have left to do? Still mumbling, he hopped up onto the engawa and froze, surprised to find the porch already occupied. "Hey." Wary, he stared at the sleek red fox curled against the outer wall of one the pavilions.

"Hey yourself." Head lifted imperiously, she gazed across at him, her features impassive.

"How long you been up here?"

"Long enough."

"Hmph." Walking away, he ducked his head, his shoulders hunched up. "Just great." As expected, she stood and followed, causing his upper lip to snarl. What was not expected was the silence. "What? Nothing to say?"

"Not really. What about you?" Cool and calm, she sounded like nothing in the world could bother her, let alone his dumb, ugly mug.

Snorting, his voice became biting, always annoyed by her indifference. "Since when have you ever cared?" Expecting a witty retort, their banter already scripted and rehashed so many times he hardly had to listen anymore, Sano knew it was going to be a bad day when she decided on being truthful.

"Since the first time you passed out drunk in my room."

"Shit." Closing his eyes, he felt his stomach drop. Only on one other occasion had she brought up such a moment, and he did not feel like having a repeat of that fight.

"Do you remember the day I'm talking about?"

Trying to ignore her, he randomly chose a maze-like path around the palace, but she doggedly followed him.

"Well, I'd be surprised if you remembered anything about that day with as much alcohol as you had in you, but I know you remember anyway."

"What makes you think it was important enough to remember?"

"You came to me, Sanosuke. Not anyone else. In your drunken stupor you walked into my room and made all of your problems mine. I'd say that's pretty damned important."

"I hate to break it to you honey, but I've been drunk and in a lot of women's rooms before I was ever in yours."

"Really, moron? Is that supposed to upset me?"

"I can be more blunt it you like. What makes you think you're any more special than the other women I've been with? They don't care two licks for my so called problems."

Megumi laughed, a sharp, cold laugh that was unlike her normally playful and superior chuckles. "I can't believe you actually want me to answer that question."

Sano froze, and the fur down his spine stood straight up. "You heartless bitch."

"I've been everything else for you, so why not?" Snarling, the smaller fox bared her teeth back. "If this is what it takes to get through to you then so be it. After a thousand years I'm more than ready for a real fight."

"We've had this fight before." Sano's voice dismissed the earnestness of her pressing subject.

"And I was trying to be nice since it's such a touchy subject, but I'm done being nice, you bastard. I've had enough."

"That's laughable. When have you ever been nice to me?"

"How about every day for the last thousand years since your best friend died?"

Jaw clenching, Sano did his best to ignore the last half of her claim. "If that's you being nice I think I prefer a typhoon."

Looking him over, she didn't even react to his insult, but instead rummaged through her arsenal and went straight for a knife. His apathy was his defense, and she was sick of seeing him hide. "Five days after Shinta-sama's death you came stumbling into my room, piss-ass drunk."

"Sorry. I don't have time for a stroll down memory lane." Trying to get away, Sano started walking again, his pace slightly quickened.

"You not having time is the biggest laugh I've ever heard." Keeping up with easy grace, Megumi's voice was cynical. "Like I was saying, we hardly knew each other at the time, and any conversations we had were barely meaningful. For you to come to me in such a state was offensive and unwarranted. I had half a mind to beat you bloody and refuse treatment as the new head physician."

"Well you should have. It would have saved me the pain of this conversation."

"Perhaps I should have, but I didn't."

"Well that's just too bad."

"I put up with your sorry attempts at seduction because underneath your drunken and clumsy advances you were hurting. And do you remember what happened next after your forced playfulness finally died?" Sano shot her a look over his shoulder, his mahogany eyes hardened in hatred, but Megumi looked coolie through him. "You cried. Like a child with your head in my lap. A full grown man, half-dressed and far from sober, bawling in the room of a woman he didn't even know. It was pitiful. Now, why don't you tell me what the difference is between me and those other women you've been with?"

The expression on Sano's face was stony as he looked away, and in the absence of a reply, Megumi smirked. He was listening. "Shall I make a list? How about… we didn't have sex the first time you stepped into my room. Or maybe… you showed weakness, and I put up with it. I comforted you. I kept it a secret. I protected you from losing what little respect you had left. Mostly, I think, it's because you just kept coming back. Randomly, but steadily for the most part. You were drunk more than half the time, but not always. Sometimes you were sober and wanting only to be held. You were sweeter when you weren't drunk… but you were more open when you were. I'm not quite sure which I prefer."

"Are you done?" Stopping next to another pavilion, not even sure where they were anymore, Sano plopped his rump down and scowled.

"I never complained once, Sanosuke. Not once. I thought that was what you needed, but then I realized I was wrong. I was just a convenient distraction."

"Oh, you get it now." Scathing and ill-tempered, Sano saw an opening and used it strike back. Just barely, her small vixen jaw jerked as if smacked, but she still kept her cool.

"I get more than even you realize. You used me just like you used alcohol to distract you from what was really bothering you."

"And just what do you think that is?"

"I don't know, Sanosuke." Shaking her head and feeling tired, Megumi sighed. "I've got my suspicions, about Shinta-sama and getting kicked out of the palace guard, but… no one knows the truth but you. You're going to have to figure it out by yourself."

"Isn't that a relief. And here I thought you were going to offer to help." Sarcastic, he knew he was acting immature, but it was getting harder and harder to deal with the truth coming from her mouth.

"No. I'm done with you, Sano." Though still irritated that she was tearing into such an old wound, the throbbing ache that was attacking his numbed senses convulsed, bringing him briefly back to reality. She was done with him. "I've tried to help you, but I've realized that I can't. Whatever this problem is, it's not something that can be fixed by anyone else but you. I can't see the whole problem, maybe because you can't either, but… it's changed you. You didn't used to be this angry, or this unpleasant."

"I've changed?" Bitter now, feeling panicked and abandoned, Sano lashed out. "What happened to you? You hardly speak to me without contempt. You never used to speak to me that way."

"I did this for you! Every time I tried to get closer you closed off! I knew if I didn't act this way you might never speak to me again!" Bristling all over, Megumi braced her feet, her stance challenging. "If I let you know that your distance affected me, you would have ran. You can't deny it. So I lied, and I pretended like I could care less. I made that decision the same day I could feel the change in you; that one morning I woke up alone." Pride kept her head from drooping, but shame closed her eyes. "I confessed to you that night before. I told you what I promised I would never say… and you pretended not to hear."

Megumi's cinnamon irises were dark when her eyes opened once more, pinning him in place. "You humiliated me, dishonored me, embarrassed me, and I put up with it for too long. Do you know how much I had to go through to keep my position when the rumors started to spread? Rumors that were caused by your presence in my room at night. Lady Rin started calling me a whore. Men I didn't even know started asking when I was free to see them in private. Master Izo threatened to have me evicted from the palace and my reputation as a physician revoked if I did not stop my debauchery."

Something foul and stone cold dropped into the chaos of emotion, stopping it dead. "What men?"

Laughing shortly, Megumi's head lifted higher and she spat his own words back at him. "Since when do you care?"

Jaw grinding painfully, Sano ignored her. "Tell me who."

"Dammit, Sanosuke! You have no right anymore to act that way. I handled the situation, alone, like I handle everything. It wasn't your problem. It was mine."

Anger backing off enough to feel appropriately ashamed for being the cause, Sano frowned. "I never heard any of this."

"Because you were too busy getting drunk and ignoring the world to notice. I was the only person besides Katsu you associated with. It was the reason I never pushed you away, even with the rumors. I didn't want to abandon you. I didn't want you to give up, but… that day you ignored me, that day you left and became distant…" Megumi swallowed, a familiar ball of frustration and disgust building in her throat. "I hated you that day."

Looking away out over the yard, Sano nodded. "Yeah. I can't say I blame you."

"I can't do this anymore, Sano. When we argue now… I can't even say I'm pretending to be malicious. I don't like myself this way. I don't like how I am when I'm around you. I just…" Sighing, her eyes closed again and she seemed to collect herself. "I hope some day you figure out a way through what's bothering you. I truly do, Sanosuke. I told myself I was going to wait for that day, and then say those words to you again, but… I really don't think that day's ever going to happen. I hope I'm wrong…" As if disgusted by her own pathetic attitude, Megumi shook her head and pulled herself up, her haughty personality coming back. "Anyway, I'm done now. I apologize for causing you any delay to your destination. Rest assured, it will never happen again." Jerking her head in a short bow, she turned to retreat. "Goodnight, Sanosuke." Without a backward glance she slipped around a corner and disappeared.

The sudden and deafening silence that followed closed in around him, buffering him from the real world, trapping him and at the same time, protecting him. What felt like minutes later it lifted without warning, allowing the thundering feeling of panic to reclaim his heart and he sat there trembling as he stared at the empty veranda. "Dammit!" Hanging his head, his brow furrowed as his eyes clenched shut. "Don't do that, Fox. Now I… really don't have anything left."

Muscles slumping, his eyelids heavily parted, revealing lifeless eyes that no longer carried any form of vibrancy. The one thing he had always secretly feared had come true; the woman he loved no longer believed in him. There was no one else left to anchor him, no one else who cared enough. With the light of her beacon turned off to him, he was now lost, floating out to sea in apathetic confusion. It seemed his life had finally become outlived and unnecessary.

A soft, breathy huff of laughter escaped his mouth, the noise caught somewhere between hysteria and shock. "That's okay, Fox. I understand. I'm not worth it anyway. You just worry about yourself. That's what you should have been doing from the beginning. 'Cause you're right. This ain't ever going to change." Laughing some more, he lifted his sightless stare toward the ground opposite, and slowly the numbness came back. Already willing to incorporate this new feeling of worthlessness into the old and abused emotions he carried around, Sano picked himself up and turned the corner opposite. Tonight, however, was not without its sense of irony.

Just across the way was Lady Kaoru's pavilion, and just next to the door stood the lady, ready to turn in for the evening. Or so Sano supposed, as much of her was blocked from his view by the master. One of her hands was visible, though, her slender, pale fingers twisted in the back of his kimono. After careful scrutiny, the other could be found curled in the loose red hair by his face. It wasn't hard to tell what was happening, and with a soft curse, Sano shook his head in wry resignation. It looked as though Misao truly had won their bet.

A slight shift, and one of the master's hands was carefully pulling at the wrist near his face, lifting both their arms and pinning the lady against the wall behind her. Blinking, Sano lifted a brow and slowly flattened himself to the veranda. The master was bolder than he thought. _Shinta… I think you'd be proud of your little brother._ Indifferently amused, he watched both red wings unfurl slowly and spread wide, blocking Sano's view and shielding the two of them from any prying eyes. The action brought a brief smirk to his lips. _Yeah. I wouldn't want an audience either. This place is shitty when it comes to personal business._

Tilting his head to the side, Sano focused away from the couple, his chin resting on his forelegs. He really was glad that the master was happy. It was what Shinta had wanted, after all. The master deserved to be happy. Everyone living at the palace had their own hardships to speak of, but the master had endured much to protect and shelter them, on top of dealing with his own personal hell. A hell that only _included _the death of his oldest brother. Perhaps that was why Sano felt like he did… because his hell had _started _with the death of Shinta-sama.

_You put your faith in the wrong person, Shinta. I haven't been able to do one thing you've asked of me… and this was all I had left do. Your little brother found happiness on his own… and now I'm left with nothing. Heh. Megumi even left me, but… I didn't handle things very well. We had a good plan to get her to like me, but… I screwed it up after you died. She hates me now, and I can't blame her. I don't know what she was doing with a worthless jerk like me anyway._

Sighing, Sano peeked back towards the master out of the corner of his eye. "I suppose I should pay up to that weasel. I can at least take responsibility for that much." A small, unsatisfactory ball of agitation formed at the base of his throat and he frowned at the master's back. Kenshin had always felt responsible for Shinta's death, was always tormented by the lives of everyone he had killed for his father… Perhaps there was one other thing left Sano needed to do. One more purpose existing within his overly-long life.

Wings folding up once more, the master pulled back, his hands carefully coaxing the lady through the open tsumado and into her pavilion. Too far away to hear what was said, and unable to see the master's face, Sano was instead given a glimpse of the lady's expression. Smiling shyly, her cheeks flushed pink, she was biting her lip as the master pressed her knuckles to his lips. It was a look of obvious love and bliss, one that demanded the care and adoration of the man it was directed upon. Seconds later the master released her hand and softly closed the door between them, shutting the lady within her pavilion. The spectacle finished, Sano watched with only a subdued interest as the master turned and leisurely meandered his way over to his own rooms.

_I suppose I wouldn't mind having a woman look at me like that for the next thousand years. _Shaking his head as if to rid himself of the thought, Sano sighed again. That was now an impossibility.

X

A/N: Writing Sano is hard. I don't know why, but it stumped me for quite a long time, and I'm still not very happy with it. It was only supposed to be something short, but I haven't even really said what's bothering him yet. I've got it planned for the next chapter and then it should be resolved, but jeez. It turned out not to be as original as I wanted, but I suppose it will do. Plus, it's going to help with another situation I've been trying to work up to, so I guess I'll live with it. Hope no one else will be disappointed. Also… I seem to have a hard time writing Megumi. I haven't fully grasped her personality yet. Forgive me. I did spend quite a lot time revising this chapter to make it feel better than it was originally, so I like it much better now, but I still kinda feel like Sano was a bit depressive.

Alright, so the interaction between Kenshin and Kaoru may not have seemed like a big deal, but believe me… it really is, and not just for the obvious reasons. I do have plans for everything I do… even if I forget some of the smaller ones sometimes and then want to kick myself later. Ah, well… this is not a small one, so it will show up in the story later. It was a great way to resolve his appearance complex, and yes there was a large jump in time between Kaoru and Kenshin talking and Sano getting confronted by Misao and Megumi. That was planned and will be explained better in the next chapter. So, it's been like a month between the beginning of this chapter and the end. Don't worry, I'll touch on some of the stuff that happened in between. Sweet memories are fun.

So, I hope that you liked, even though nothing major is happening yet, but it was still a nice combination of sweet and angst. I'm really excited about the website allowing cover pictures to be posted with each story now. I'm currently working really hard on my own cover art to post up. It won't be anything intricate, but rather simple, and yet… I really like it. We'll see. Anyway, please review, and in the next chapter… Enishi's back, Sano makes a confession, and Kaoru is faced with a tough decision.


	36. A Requirement of Love

Writing Sano has really messed up my muse. That's my excuse for taking so long anyway. Read on!

Disclaimer: I don't know what else I can say to get this across to you…

**Chapter 36: A Requirement of Love**

Rage and frustration were a dangerous combination, especially when pride and honor were on the line. For Enishi, who had always been prideful, it was humiliating to be outwitted by a woman and her gutless father. Kaoru should have been his already, but even after six weeks of searching she was still outside of his grasp.

Scowling, he glared at the mountain stream bubbling its way merrily down the uneven slope. The cool stream provided sweet water to drink, but it mocked him with its laughter. It teased him the way Kaoru always had by ignoring his plight and his presence. It eluded him with that type of freedom that was incapable of being caged. No one else in the village had ever understood the strength she possessed. It was her allure, her power, to walk steadily upon the path set before her without wavering under their suspicious and hostile stares. He envied that ability of hers, he wanted it for his own, and he hated her for obtaining it so effortlessly. Whatever he wanted he would have, no matter what her father or anyone else had to say.

"_Enishi-chan! Listen! I had the funniest dream last night!" Skipping around him in her training clothes, Kaoru giggled and tugged on his sleeve. At nine they were still the same height and nearly the same build. Frowning, he yanked his arm to dislodge her and continued his practice swings._

"_Who cares about your dreams, Kaoru-chan? They're always nonsense."_ _Shrugging, Kaoru just continued to smile as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her enthusiasm was never dampened by his harsh talk. A smirk of disdain pulled at his lip. He wanted to kill that self-assurance within her. He wanted to bring her down to his level._

"_So? At least they're not boring."_

_Not boring like everyone else's. Irked, Enishi relaxed his hold on the wooden sword in his hands, and crossed his arms. "Let's hear it then. I'll decide whether it's interesting or not."_

_Grinning excitedly, Kaoru threw out her arms. "I was in this big city with lots and lots of buildings and they were all full of animals! They talked and acted just like people, though! They cooked and cleaned and even bowed in greeting! They were all really nice and I even got to ride on the back of this really big wolf! Doesn't that sound like fun?"_

_Taken aback, Enishi blinked at her like she was crazy. Staring back expectantly, her big blue eyes never left his, hoping for a reaction that would encourage her to continue. Abruptly sneering, he snorted. "What kind of crap is that? Of course it doesn't sound fun. It sounds like lunacy. A real wolf would eat a kid your size."_

_Instantly her face fell. "But he wasn't a wild wolf. He was friendly…"_

"_You can't tame a wolf, idiot! And there's no such thing as talking animals, either! That kind of dream isn't even normal! No wonder everyone thinks you're a freak!"_

"_I'm not a freak! And who says there aren't talking animals?" A frown pulled at her features, her sapphire irises glaring at him in defiance._

"_Only a freak would be friends with talking animals!"_

"_Shut up, Enishi-chan! You're so mean!" Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, her fists clenched and shaking at her sides. "I hate you!"_

"_Like I care." Tossing his bokken aside, Enishi headed towards the door of the training hall. "I'm out of here anyway." Hopping down into the yard, he cast a furtive look over his shoulder. He'd finally hurt her enough to bring her to tears but he didn't feel happy about it. He only felt angrier… because it did not feel as if he had won._

Curling his lip Enishi pushed the memory from his mind. He had made her hate him just to see that fire brought to life. Her spirit was what he wanted, and if he had to kill some other man who thought to claim it then so be it. No man would stand up to him. Not after all the training he had underwent just to overpower _her_ strength. After all this time he would prove he was better and stronger than her and everyone else, and then she would have no choice but to submit to him. Her power would finally belong to him, one way or another.

"Enishi-san." Jade green eyes glanced up at the man approaching him, his silence a signal to proceed. "One of the men you sent to watch the dojo has returned. He says there's still no change. I don't think her father has any intention of visiting her while he suspects he's being watched."

Lip curling in disgust and frustration, Enishi directed his attention back towards the stream, its cheerfulness sounding more and more like sarcastic laughter. "What about the others we sent to the villages on the eastern side of the mountains?"

"A few have returned, but there is still no word of any man named Kenshin living among them with a wife named Kaoru. They did bring back a few strange rumors, but I doubt they are related."

Frowning, Enishi lifted his chin. "What kind of rumors?"

Shrugging in embarrassment, the man looked reluctant and disbelieving as he spoke. "There have apparently been a few strange sightings near the villages. Some of the people were talking about a large bird circling the mountain peaks, a very large bird according to the descriptions. The villages closer to the coastline all think it might be the palace lord or some such nonsense."

Enishi's features paled, and he glanced reflexively in the direction of the palace. Not many people believed in the stories anymore, but he knew better than to think they weren't real. After all, Kaoru had gone missing once, and being kidnapped by the palace lord had never been dismissed as a possibility. He knew better than to say anything like that in front of the men who followed him, however. To show fear was to show weakness. They only followed him because he was stronger than they were, and there were a few that were willing to take that position from him if they thought he was vulnerable.

"What is really strange, though, is the few men who have come back talking about all the odd animal sightings." Green eyes widened, his thoughts abruptly turning back to his memory of Kaoru and her dream.

"What kind of… odd animal sightings?"

"They say they have seen foreign predators out roaming the woods, but not alone and not with other predators of the same species. Some of the animals they don't even know the names to, and the size of the groups are almost like a that of an organized hunting party. Two of the men say they were passing close to the palace and had to make camp, and spotted a large pack of wolves not far from them. The alpha male apparently noticed them and stopped, but he never attacked, just watched them from a distance all night and part of the next day until he disappeared around noon. It all sounds like paranoia to me. Some of the men still think there's something ominous about the palace and it must get to their heads. After all, a wolf pack wouldn't pass up two humans in their territory. They would rip them apart without a second thought."

Nodding his head, Enishi felt wryly amused. The man was right, his men must be either exhausted or jumpy to imagine strange things like that. Thinking of Kaoru again, he laughed humorlessly. "They didn't happen to hear any strange voices, either, did they?" Not expecting an answer or for the other man to take him seriously, Enishi was surprised by the frown on the man's face.

"Funny you would say that, but yeah, they did. I wasn't going to mention it myself because it seemed too bizarre, but since you brought it up… one of the men did say he thought he heard the animals talking, but he admitted to drinking at the time and wasn't completely sure himself."

"He was probably just drunk." Dismissing the claim, Enishi pushed away from the tree he was leaning against. In the back of his mind, however, he felt strangely uneasy. Such a coincidence was eerie.

"Of course the idiot was. Animals don't talk." Falling in step beside him, the man followed him back to the camp. A variety of noises and smells assaulted them the closer they came: talking; the sound of eating; the smell of food and sweat; the grind of a wet stone on metal. Barely glancing over the forty men he had under his charge, Enishi collected his katana and a small travel pack lying at the base of a tree.

"I'm going to check out that village with all the cherry trees myself. Kaoru's mother was from there. They might try to cover her tracks. Send word to me there if anything is found."

"Yes, sir."

X

"_Sanosuke… if you stare any harder you might go blind." Laughing in amusement, Shinta slapped a hand up against the bottom of his friend's chin, snapping his mouth closed. Shaking his head, Sano stepped out of his reach and leaned over the railing to watch the woman who had captured his attention disappear into a pavilion._

"_Whatever, man. If I do go blind I'd rather she be the last thing I see and not your ugly mug."_

"_Damn." Shinta snorted with laughter. "You must have it bad." Clapping him on the back, Shinta leaned up against the railing next to him. "Why don't you just go talk to her?"_

"_And just what the hell am I going to say to a woman like that? She'd chew me up and spit me out." A small grin tugged at the corner of Sano's mouth, and he looked more amused by the thought than annoyed. "Quicker than your little brother could draw."_

"_I'm surprised, Sano. You've never been this interested, or hesitant, about a woman before. You really like this one, don't you?"_

"_What's not to like? She can't even be compared to the others. She has class. She's untouchable. Most of all… she wouldn't waste her time on me."_

"_Yeah. You're probably right."_

"_Hey! You could be a little supportive."_

"_So are you going to try?" Amused by the uncharacteristic reactions being pulled from his friend, Shinta crossed his arms and leaned sideways into one of the posts. "You were right when you said she's not like the others. I don't think your usual methods are going to impress her."_

"_I know that!" The small muscles in his face curled in frustration and annoyance, his shoulders hunching as he continued to stare across the yard at the door the woman had entered. Only a few seconds later she exited through the same door, a small trail of helpers neatly following her steps on the veranda. Looking very prim and proper in her kimono, her head held high like a noble born lady, the physician's assistant spared a quick glance of cinnamon eyes in his direction. Startled, Sano stood up from his bent position, his gaze locking with hers as she let her attention linger on him, her eyes piercing and intense. A foreign sensation of shame washed over him and he ducked his head to break the connection. He had no business thinking about wanting this woman._

_Shinta's atmosphere of teasing disappeared as he watched a small tinge of red darken the ridgeline of Sano's ear and he shook his head instead. Glancing back over to the woman, he watched her peek once more at them before walking resolutely away. There was a question in her slightly more tentative actions, but Sano wasn't paying close enough attention to notice the effect their brief interaction had engendered._

_Taking a deep breath, Shinta let it out heavily as if defeated. "Fine, you win, Sanosuke, I'll help."_

"_Wha..?" Lifting a brow at him in confusion, Sano appeared flabbergasted. "I didn't ask for your help."_

_Grinning again, Shinta shrugged. "But you need it anyway, and you know it. You don't know how to talk to a real woman. She'd slap you the moment you opened your mouth."_

"_Hey, that…!" Sano's expression changed from irritation to contemplation to wry acknowledgment in only a few seconds. Snorting, he nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."_

"_Then we agree. It's time for a reeducation."_

_Sighing, relief settled over his warring thoughts, and he knew that with Shinta on his side there was nothing he couldn't do. Shinta had given him purpose, a reason to be a part of the world. Such power would even make it possible for a man like him to catch and hold the attention of a woman like Megumi. Hooking his thumbs into the waist of his pants, he smiled at the planking below his feet. Everything would be fine._

"_**After all, you really are worthless."**_

_Sano's brow line furrowed deeply as a large amount of disdain tainted the mocking words, the statement unlike anything he had ever heard from Shinta's mouth. Jerking his chin up, his confusion turned quickly into horror and he took a step back away from the man standing beside him. Panic made it hard to breathe as the comforting memory fell away around him, the calm blue sky darkening to a deep shade of red; nearly black. The palace fell quiet, a chill washed over him like deep ocean water, strong and unrelenting, but it wasn't his surroundings that disturbed him… it was the image of the man._

"_Shinta… sama?"_

"_**I gave you everything you needed to live comfortably. I trusted you to handle the responsibilities of your position."**__ Tripping over his feet, Sano caught himself on the railing, his eyes trapped by the lifeless gold of his best friend. There was no light left in those eyes staring through him. Nothing of his former self remained but memories and a fierce bitterness towards all living beings wasting that blessing of life. Trembling, he could see the glint of steel in his peripheral vision, the katana that had ended his life buried hilt deep in his back, the blade shining dangerously out of the exit wound. Congealed blood dripped thickly onto the wooden walk, painting his grey skin and matted clothes in a sickeningly vibrant color. It was not a sight Sano had ever wanted to see._

"_**What have you been doing all this time, Sanosuke? I made everything so easy for you. Why have you strayed from the path I laid at your feet?"**_

"_T-they… stripped me of my position. They took away the purpose you gave me."_

_Sharp cracks accompanied the tilting of Shinta's head to one side, causing Sano to wince and twitch. __**"What a horrible excuse for a human you are. You cannot even protect your own purpose. It is no wonder you were turned into a dog. A cowardly, filthy creature that can do nothing more than beg for scraps off the master's table and tuck his tail between his legs as he runs away."**_

"_Your father did this to me! What did you expect me to do against your father?"_

"_**You cannot even take responsibility for your own life. You would rather blame others for your troubles than admit that you were the one at fault all along. Father took the position from you, but then… what did you ever do to earn it anyway. I gave you that title, and you threw it away as soon as I turned my back."**_

"_You were dead! You __**are**__ dead! You weren't ever coming back."_

"_**I put a lot of faith in you, Sanosuke, and you let me down. I'm disappointed that all my efforts and beliefs were wasted. You've had so much time to correct the mistakes you've made and instead you've chosen to do nothing. You're pathetic. You've thought of no one but yourself. Other's relied on you. Other's believed in you. How could you let them down so thoroughly?"**_

"_There is no one else. They all have their purpose. They don't care for me. They've left me behind. I'm worthless, just as you said."_

"_**You are worthless because you do not understand!"**__ Anger blackened every inch of Shinta's face, twisting his visage into something cruel and unrelenting. __**"I died protecting what I value in my life, and you chose to dishonor that sacrifice I made by letting your life became meaningless and devoid of purpose! You chose to fall off that path you yourself asked me to give you! I fought to help my friend! What have you done to honor my efforts? You let one man knock you down! One man, Sanosuke! There was more than just one willing to help you back up!"**_

"_To what end? The master would have never given my position back to me! I am alive only because your brother vouched for me!"_

"_**Then you should have swore your loyalty to him! He did not turn away from your plight! He offered you a helping hand and you let go as soon as your life was spared! You should have let him lead you! You should have walked behind him! You should have let him give you a new purpose!"**__ Sano's eyes widened, unaware and uncaring of the dead hand fisted in his shirt, pushing and pulling him to and away from the floor. _

"_**That is all you needed, is it not? Without an unquestionable show of worth you do not feel justified in living or having desires. Without a purpose you feel unworthy of your friends, your home, your lover. Ever since your purpose was taken away you have shut yourself off from everything. You interact with others, but you do not take anything away from it. You think your presence is a stain upon their lives. You think you have nothing to offer, but they have everything to lose. You have no sense of self-worth, you even let the only woman you have ever loved walk away from you without a fight to keep her by your side. You've let everything slip away from you, and you've done nothing to stop it. If you had only pledged yourself to my brother, none of this would have happened."**_

_Releasing him with a shove to the floor, Shinta's pale and rotting corpse stood tall over the top of him, his dead golden eyes lit by a strange glow. __**"But that is beyond you now. You have already given up on this life, or else I would not be here to collect you."**_

_Startled out of his stunned reverie, Sano blinked, his mouth hanging slack. "C-collect me?"_

"_**That's right, Sanosuke. I am the form you have chosen to be your reaper."**__ Arm bending at an impossible angle, Shinta jerked the katana out of his back, the blade stained and rusting from where it was sheathed inside him. __**"I am here to take you with me."**_

"_Wait." Struggling to get away from him, Sano scrambled to get off his back. "Wait! I'm not ready!"_

"_**I'm afraid it's too late now."**__ Lifting his arm, Shinta brought the katana down in a strong horizontal slash._

"_No!" Futilely raising an arm to block, he tensed and pleaded again. _

"_NO!"_

As if placed there just to add physical pain to the mental attacks on his heart, Sano hit the sharp rock with his ribs and wheezed as all the air left his lungs from the impact. Yelping, he rolled weakly to his other side, then lay on the ground panting, his eyes closed to focus on all the aches his tumble had left him with. Around noon he had decided on a short nap, the cool shade of the awnings relaxing in the summer heat. To now be on the ground instead of the veranda where he had started meant his slumbering body had been quite active.

"Sano-san?" An anxious voice flooded his mind, interrupting his dazed thoughts, and he blinked his eyes open. "Sano-san! Are you alright?" Tilting his head back, his brows furrowed and he looked up at the veranda's edge and into clear blue eyes. Kneeling on the planking and steadying herself on the ledge was the lady; the master's lady. "Are you hurt? Do you need me to help you?"

There was worry clearly etched onto her face for him, and he stared, dumbstruck, as one arm outstretched, offering her hand. Eyes widening, the dream crashed back down around him, and he was suddenly frantic, anxious to do everything in his power to keep from ever experiencing it again. _I denied the help that I needed… if I deny any more… I might never have another chance._ Grasping at her selfless act like a man drowning, Sano didn't give himself enough time to argue his way out. _Her hand is not the one that I need… but perhaps she can help me to it._

"Sano-san?"

"Lady Kaoru." Sitting up too quickly he winced and had to bite back a whimper. Ignoring her concern, he jumped up onto the walkway next to her. "I really need your help."

"Yes, yes okay. Do you need me to get Megumi-sensei?" Speaking quickly, she mistook his request, thinking only of any injuries his tumble might have given him.

"What? No. Well, not yet anyway. I mean… I will eventually, but that I can accomplish on my own at least." He was rambling, his words jumping upon one another and confusing her. Frowning, she lifted a brow.

"Then what is it that you need, Sano-san?"

"Just an audience with the master. As soon as he has time to see me."

"Is that all?" Smiling, Kaoru stood. "I was heading to see him right now. I think he is busy at the moment handling the problem in the mines, but he should be free late this afternoon. I'll speak with him and send someone to let you know."

"Thanks, missy. You're helping me out a lot."

X

Misao was one hard weasel to track down. If Sano had thought about it before parting with the lady he would have just asked her where her personal handmaiden was, but he hadn't. Instead, he was left with the irritating job of pinning down her location, which was about as easy as catching a hummingbird. While the lady was with the master during his audiences, Misao was left free to accomplish the other duties that came with the territory. To Sano's surprise, this was a lot more than he would have ever imagined. After racing back and forth across the palace four times just following her movements, Sano was more than aware now.

Trying to catch his breath, Sano stood in front of Misao's impatient form, her features clearly annoyed. "Spit it out quickly, mutt. Unlike _some_ people around here, I actually have a job to do."

"Yeah… gotcha there…" Wheezing between words, Sano's head hung down between his shaking front legs. "I didn't know… it was so… demanding… keeping track of a… lady."

"Oh? Perhaps it would seem that way to someone so out-of-shape and unorganized."

"Oh shut up." Slumping down onto the veranda, Sano eyed the weasel wearily. "And stop acting disdainful. I'm here to apologize."

Misao's angrily pouting features disappeared in three quick blinks. "Really?" She brightened up so fast it was almost unnatural.

"Well, it only seemed right after catching the master staking claim on his lady. He seemed a little bit too knowledgeable for it to be something new."

"Oooh, must've been heated. You're lucky. Nobody's caught them sharing anything more than a chaste kiss."

"Lucky? What the hell…?" Eyes flying skyward in exasperation, Sano shook his head and sat up. "Look, the point is you won the bet and I'm here to pay up. So what'll it be? Your slave for a day? What?"

"What the hell happened to you? You're way too eager." Suspicious, Misao narrowed her eyes and looked him up and down. "You didn't eat any bad mushrooms did you?"

"I'm trying to be serious here, you damn weasel." Growling, Sano braced himself on all fours. "If you're not interested, then we'll just call it even."

"Oh no, you're not getting out of it that easily. If you're willing, I'm willing." Excited all over again, Misao grinned. "But I warn you, it's not going to be as simple as being my slave. I have something special all planned out for you."

"Would you just spit it out already? I actually have something important to take care of today."

"Yeah, whatever, mutt. Like I'll ever believe that." Sano grumbled, but didn't protest. After all, he really hadn't given anyone much reason to believe otherwise. "Anyway, I'm a bit conflicted about it now, though. I really think I need to force you to make up with Megumi-sensei since whatever fight you two had this time seems to be serious. What the hell did you do to her? I've never seen her act this way."

Looking away, Sano frowned. "That's none of your business, so you can just forget about trying to make me do anything when it comes to that fox."

"Don't you care at all?" Incredulous, Misao's voice rose.

"I'll apologize, but it sure as hell won't be now. She'd have no reason to believe me… or forgive me, for that matter." Sano's volume trailed off, his eyes focusing on something Misao couldn't see. Seconds later his attention returned to her, his appearance almost challenging. "You've done enough meddling in the master's relationship. I don't need any help with mine, so you can forget it."

Misao's aquamarine irises were serious for a change as she stared back at him, but she huffed shortly a moment later and agreed. "Fine. Katsu said he was more worried about you anyway."

"What?"

"You know, _I _really wanted to make you do whatever I said for a week, but Katsu's idea is a bit more productive. Especially since you're such a lazy ass. He figured you wouldn't do anything on your own without someone bullying you, and I think he's right. You've got no self-confidence, idiot. It's just sad." Shaking her head as if it was such a bother having to look out for him, Misao sighed.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Katsu was more than sure you were going to pay up on this debt between us. Which shows he's got a lot more faith in you than I do. So anyway, he wanted me to tell you when you showed up that you can find your own purpose… whatever that means. Oh yeah, and stop whining like some mature old man when you still act like a child." Misao's voice was matter-of-fact as she stared upwards and recited the secondhand words from her memory. "Also, you're a hypocrite, and a bum, and an idiot, oh and completely selfish. You really smell, and you need to take a bath. Aaaannnd… oh, how can you say you've experienced all there is when you've ignored everything that has happened around you? Yeah. I think that sums it up." The weasel nodded, and then jerked excitedly. "Wait. He also said Shinta-sama would be greatly disappointed."

"Ok! Damn, I get it!" Surprised by the outburst, and yet somehow glad for the words, Sano shook his head in wry amusement. To know that Katsu had said all these things was shocking, and in a way it made him feel like the one that needed taken care of. Ever since they were small, Sano and Shinta had looked out for Katsu. It was almost ironic for the role to be reversed now. "So what does all this have to do with my payment?"

"Alright, sooo… what you've got to do is politely ask the master for your job back. Easy, right?"

_What the hell is going on today?_ It was easy enough, since that was exactly what he had in mind already, except… "I can't do that. Do you realize how insolent that is? Do you _want_ the master pissed off at me?"

Misao just blinked as if confused or uncaring what it sounded like. "Not that it's going to matter, since this is what I want you to do, but what makes you think it will upset the master?"

"Think about it, weasel, I'm the laziest person here. Have been since before the old master died. What the hell reasoning would he have to just hand me my old position back, no questions asked? I've done nothing to deserve it. Hell, I'm not quite sure I did anything to deserve it in the first place. I'll ask him for _a_ job, but not that job. Anything's fine, right?"

"Nope." Looking as if she were fighting off a grin, Misao nonchalantly disagreed. "You are going to do just as I said, because that's the deal. You lost the bet. I won. That means you are going to do exactly what I say, when I say it. Unless, you want to spend a week serving Kamatari."

"Shit! Fine, I'll ask the master for my old job back." Glaring, Sano stood to leave. "That was really low."

Misao just shrugged. "Good luck!" Taking off to continue her duties, she shouted the encouragement as she dashed around a corner, leaving him to walk away shaking his head.

Luck was not going to cover what she wanted him to do. It was going to take a miracle, but Sano was a bit more aware of the situation than both Misao and Katsu. More than anything he wanted to stand before the master and ask for a new purpose, anything as long as he was useful once again. Before that, however, there was something that they needed to discuss. Sano could not pledge himself to a new master without completely putting the old to rest. It was this new information that he feared would cause the master to never offer his hand again.

Even touched by anxiety, though, Sano felt strangely resolute. Losing everything important in his life, knowing exactly what it feels like to be alone and desolate had frightened him. So much so that it had haunted his dreams with images of his failings, and in that dream a fighting part of his consciousness had made itself known. Vicious and unrelenting it had pointed out his mistakes and the weaknesses in his arguments. It had goaded him into action, bringing to light just what he needed to do. To think, all this time the answer had been right in front of him, and yet he was too blind or too stupid to see it.

It was even funnier that Katsu had seen it before him. Amusing that he would be lectured by a man he had always protected. He needed to take responsibility for his own purpose, and even if it was taken from him, he could have at least fought to keep it. At the time he had lost all hope, thinking his only link to a world where he was needed was the master he had pledged his loyalty to. Instead of giving up, he should have found a way. Everyone else had struggled to find a way to be useful to their new master. It was about time Sano found his own. A way that would no longer be a burden on the many friends he had worried.

It was a couple hours later when he was approached by a small hedgehog and informed that the master was available to see him. Nerves steadily increasing as the day progressed, Sano followed the spiky animal to the master's office pavilion and waited outside while he was being announced. Hardening his resolve, he knew there was no backing out now. He couldn't go back to the way things were, and to move forward this was what needed to be done.

Entering the inner room, Sano glanced apprehensively at Kaoru who was seated next to the master. She smiled pleasantly at him, and he tried to return the gesture, but her presence was not one he had counted on. The little lady was someone everyone at the palace held in high respect. He did not want to admit to anything remotely demeaning with her there to hear it.

"Kaoru-dono has informed me you wished to speak with me." The master instigated the audience, startling Sano's eyes away from the lady and to him.

"Yeah. I mean, yes, milord." Ducking his head, his etiquette rusty after so long of disuse, Sano cleared his throat. "Actually, I have a couple things, but…" Darting his eyes back to the lady, he looked slightly ashamed. "it is a personal matter…"

Deep sapphire eyes blinked at him, and then her smile became softer. "Of course." Automatically bracing a hand on Kenshin's shoulder, Kaoru stood, turning her smile on the man seated beside her. "I have a few things I wish to take care of before evening anyway. I'll see you at supper, okay Kenshin?"

Nodding his agreement, one of the master's hands came up to wrap around the one just slipping off his shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I shall look forward to seeing you then, my lady." As the lady blushed, her smile turning compassionate and loving, Sano decided that Katsu's observation about the two over a month ago had not been completely accurate. While falling in love did seem to be agreeing with the master, Sano thought it was also agreeing nicely with the lady as well. A young lady she had been upon first arriving there at the beginning of winter. Now she was maturing nicely into a true lady in more than just name.

The shoji slid shut behind her as she stepped down into the hallway, and the quiet shuffle of her footsteps could be heard as she headed to the outer door. The soft sound of the tsumado clacking shut announced her complete departure, and Sano was left fully alone with the master looking expectantly at him. It was only then that Sano noticed the change in his appearance, the hint that Misao had spoken of before about his eyes showing the difference in his demeanor. It was startling at first, slightly surreal, but the master wore the look naturally; comfortably.

Dark amethyst eyes blinked, his brow line lifting in question, and Sano cleared his throat to distract from his curious interlude. "Right. I'll make this quick then, and you can decide what to do with me after that."

"What to do with you? Will you do anything other than what you've always done?" The question wasn't teasing, but had a testing air about it, as if his answer would decided how serious the master was going to be.

Taking a deep breath, Sano chose the words to his reply carefully, hoping to get a point across without actually giving away what he was there for. "I will do exactly what my master asks of me."

"Is that so?" A smile tugged at his lips as if he were amused, and he waved a hand to encourage him to continue. "Go on."

Having already decided that he would not use any lame excuses or pleas to save him from the master's anger, Sano readied himself and spoke what was on his mind before he could talk himself out of it. It was not going to be an easy thing he was saying before his master, but it was a necessary confession. The guilt of it had always laid heavily in the back of his conscious, and he knew now it was the main reason why he had been unable to accept Kenshin as his new master. To pretend ignorance and accept a new life and purpose from his hand would have been cowardice. Even if the only respect Sano had felt towards Kenshin back then had been the love Kenshin felt for his older brother. The respect was still there, and now it was greater than ever. To show respect, one must be honest.

"Shinta-sama was aware of the threat to his life." The smile disappeared from the master's lips, and his violet eyes seemed to lighten nearly to blue. "He didn't know who exactly, but he knew something was going on. He was trying to dig up the conspirators, but he was still unsure when he went off to battle that day. He didn't tell you because of your mother's health, he knew you would have let her die alone if he had told you."

"But he told you."

The coldness in the statement set the fur on Sano's back standing straight up. "Yes. I was helping him gather info. I tried to convince him to take you with him that day, regardless of what was happening with your mother. I know that sounds heartless, but I thought Shinta's safety was more important. I even threatened to go to you with what I knew, but he ordered me not to. It was the only order he had ever given me." Sano paused for a reaction, but Kenshin merely nodded slowly, his features stern.

"I see."

The next part of the tale hurt enough even now to force his eyes away from his master's gaze in shame. "Tenshi approached me that same day." The hands resting in his master's lap shook just barely, but did not move from their lax position. "He told me he was aware of the situation and wished to help protect Shinta-sama. He told me he had his suspicions of General Tsukayama, that he believed he was the main suspect behind the threat. I was leery, but I was also worried for Shinta-sama's safety without you there to protect him. I informed Shinta-sama of what I had heard and… urged him to stay close to his brothers. It seems he… did as I asked."

There was a long pause.

"Is that all?"

Sano's shoulders hunched. "Yes, milord."

"Why did you not tell me all of this immediately after learning of his death?"

"I suppose I was too much of a coward, or I was ashamed of myself for trusting someone who had no right to be trusted. Either way, I have no great excuse to make up for my lapse in judgment. Call it simple human stupidity."

It was silent for a long time, but Sano could not look up, afraid of the resentment he was sure to discover. "Sanosuke… do you understand why my father accused you of being a part of the plot on Shinta's life?" Frowning, Sano shook his head. "It is because you were seen speaking with Tenshi the day they left for battle. Tenshi accused you of trying to recruit him into the scheme."

Sano's frown deepened and he finally looked up. To his surprise the master's eyes were still a violet color and not the amber he was used to seeing when he was angry. "If that is what you were told, then why did you vouch for me? Without any proof they would have thought you too were in on the conspiracy."

"My brother trusted you, so I trusted you as well." Shrugging, Kenshin's seriousness lightened just briefly. "Also I was informed by Saitou of the hand that had taken Shinta's life. Tenshi was a liar, always was and always would have been. Nothing he ever said could be trusted, and if he was trying to pin the blame on someone, he could have chosen a more suspicious character. For as long as I have known you, Sanosuke, you have had an honest disposition."

Sano snorted rudely. "I've clearly proven you wrong there."

"I said honest, Sanosuke. I did not say you have never lied." The amusement in his voice was back and it forced a frown of confusion on Sano's features.

"Aren't you mad?"

"Undoubtedly." Sano ducked in preparation. "But there is nothing that can be done about it now, and you have obviously done more harm to yourself with this information than I could by reprimanding you. I understand what it means to blame yourself." Amethyst eyes looked away for a moment, remembering a pain similar to Sano's. When his attention returned his demeanor was once more calm. "I hope by finally sharing this burden you feel somewhat relieved."

It took a second for Sano to recognize the expectance in the master's claim, and his eyebrows shot up. "Uh… maybe… To be truthful I _am _relieved, but mainly because I had expected a… different reaction."

"Ah." Kenshin's features became serious once more. "If you will give me a moment, I can try to be more obliging."

Mahogany eyes widening, Sano shook his head quickly. "I'll pass!"

"No, no. I would hate for you to find this meeting disappointing, so I will do my best."

"No seriously, don't put yourself out just for me! I'll live!"

Kenshin sighed despondently. "Very well. Then I shall simply have to be twice as hard on you from now one to make up for my poor performance."

"What the…?" Completely dumbfounded, Sano stared slack-jawed at the master and found what he would have never expected. Sanosuke was being teased, by his best friend's younger brother of all things. "For crying out loud! What is this? Everyone pick on the stupid mutt day?"

Seeing that he had finally caught on, Kenshin no longer tried to hide his mirth, his laughter much more carefree and open than Sano had ever heard before. It was astounding to think the master would ever react this way to anyone, let alone towards one of his subjects. _It's amazing what that woman has done to him. I don't even see the sullen, angry boy he used to be anymore._

"Forgive me, Sanosuke. I did not mean to make light of the situation." Still chuckling, Kenshin held up a hand. "What you told me is a serious matter, but I have suspected much of it for a very long time. What happened to Shinta-sama is no one person's fault. You cannot feel as if you are completely responsible, just as I cannot. A man must take responsibility for himself. Shinta-sama was as much to blame as anyone."

_You must take responsibility for yourself. Is that not similar to what I heard in my dream?_

"In truth, Sanosuke, I was never angry at you for what happened. You and Katsuhiro were the only two people who were in a situation similar to my own. You were my older brother's greatest friends. After Shinta-sama was killed I had no one left to look up to anymore. I was… unable to let neither you nor Katsuhiro be removed from the palace. You two were the only connections I had left to him."

_He shielded us. _Surprised by the revelation, Sano blinked vacantly. _The kid we were supposed to be watching out for was protecting us!_

_**And neither of you were able to recognize this.**_

_Shit! You really are a stupid, cowardly dog!_

It was clear to Sano now just what Shinta had meant by looking out for his little brother. Not just by watching over him and making sure he stayed alive and healthy. He had wanted them to be friendly, just like he had always been friendly towards the scrawny Himura boy who had learned too much about hardship too fast. Shinta had meant for them to keep him from withdrawing entirely.

"He always spoke really highly of his little brother. He swore you had the potential to be a more capable master than him." Nodding thoughtfully, Sano quirked a grin. "I don't think that man was ever wrong about anything."

The poised and calm master façade sitting before him wavered for only an instance, and Sano could see the young boy his amethyst eyes reflected a bit more clearly. Gratefully, greedily, he accepted the praise he had been missing from a source that was long since gone from their lives. The boy had been starved for that approval he was frequently denied, and Sano understood all over again why Shinta had tried to pamper him.

"Yeah." The dignified veneer was back, and he was once again the master. "It was kind of annoying at times, wasn't it?"

"Hell yeah!" Answering without thought, Sano laughed. "He had a horrible habit of rubbing it in, too."

"Hmm." Agreeing in amusement, Kenshin smiled. "But he always offered help in fixing the mistake."

"True, and he always seemed to know exactly what to say." Thinking of his dream again, Sano's smile turned wry. Even after he was dead he was still helping him out.

A soft rap on the door grabbed their attention, and the master acknowledge the new presence, his voice still relaxed. Musashino quickly reminded him of his next appointment, and Kenshin thanked him, jerking Sano out of the friendly atmosphere. He still hadn't accomplished everything he had set out to do, and now time was running short.

"It seems we will need to wrap this up quickly. Was there anything else you wished to say?"

"Right." Misao's annoying voice popped into his head and he grimaced. After getting past his main concern in a strangely amiable way, Sano was loathe to push his luck by asking something as presumptuous as what that weasel had in mind. Grinding his teeth, he reluctantly bit out the question she expected of him as payment. "I was wondering if you were willing to… give me my old position back."

"Sanosuke… are you seriously asking me to give you such a high-ranking position after you've done nothing but loaf for the last thousand years?"

"Yeah I figured you'd say something like that. Look, the weasel made me promise I'd ask, but I understand where you're coming from. I don't really expect anything grand, but if you could give me anything I'd be happy. Hell, at this point I'd settle for cleaning up the training hall after drills."

"You do realize, Sanosuke, that after a thousand years there really are no juniors or seniors among the men. They share those jobs now." Sano blinked and Kenshin waved his hand dismissively. "In any case, if you are only asking for that position because someone else has forced you to, then I can assume you do not truly want it back for yourself. Is that correct?"

"No… I just don't feel like I deserve to have it back after loafing around for the last thousand years. I haven't earned it, and I haven't exactly proven that I'm capable of holding it. You really don't have any reasons for giving it to me, and I know my place. Besides, I'm not even sure if it is a position that suits me."

"You did not enjoy holding the position when you were doing so for my brother?"

Deep creases, made even more so by the fur and loose skin around his dog eyes, formed on Sano's brow. He didn't understand why it was so important to be this specific. "Well, yeah I did, but…"

"Was it only for his benefit that you worked so hard?"

"No, there were others who relied on me."

"Then why do you not feel the position is suited to you?" Kenshin searched his expression. "Perhaps you do not feel you are suited for the position." Sano just shrugged and the master sighed impatiently. "Forgive me, but I am running behind schedule now and I have neither the time nor the patience to handle this delicately. Especially when you are not someone I think who requires it.

"I do have my reasons to believe you would do well in that position, and my proof is simple. You believe you have done nothing while I have been master except nap and get in the way. For the most part this it true, but when my lady was in danger you did not think twice about protecting her, from Saitou's needless threat and Takeda's rabble. Similarly, you put forth all your efforts when Tae-san was missing. You have not forgotten how to be a man of that position, and I do not see a reason why you think yourself incapable of handling it. The only problem I have in giving it to you, Sanosuke, is if you are truly unwilling to take its responsibilities seriously. If you do not want the position because it is something you cannot take pride in then I will not hand it over. There are too many people within this palace that depend on the guard for protection."

Sano was stunned. "You would give it to me?"

"It was always my intention. If you were willing to ask sincerely."

Mind made up in a snap, Sano flattened himself to the floor without preamble. "If the master is still willing, I would beg for my old job back please."

"Granted." The master's voice was pleased, and Sano was just amazed. He had never imagined in his wildest dreams everything would be handed back to him so easily. He had a long way to go to rehabilitate, but this made things much simpler. "You know, I told the same thing to Katsuhiro when I saw him a couple weeks ago."

"What? Which part?"

"He was concerned that you were heading in a direction that was unhealthy and was hoping I would help by forcing your old job back on you. I informed him that I was not interested in giving you a job you had no interest in doing."

"Huh. That sneaky little lemur. He convinced Misao to make me ask as payment for our bet. He had this planned all along." Indignant but impressed, Sano grinned crookedly. "That idiot's really going to get it when I see him next."

"You should be proud you have such a friend looking out for you. Just like all the others. You have more friends then you realize, I think, Sanosuke, but you are an easy man to befriend."

Snorting, Sano looked unconvinced. "What makes you say that?"

The answer was offhand, Kenshin's attention already moving on to the papers piled near him. "You have many good traits that others find agreeable. Such as your honest personality and your fierce loyalty. Really, it is no surprise to see you in the form of a dog."

"Is that right?" Voice low, Sano felt relief at the compliment. He'd never thought of himself that way. Is that how everyone else saw him?

"Out of curiosity, what is this about losing a bet?"

Face falling, Sano's eyes went wide in horror. The last thing he needed right now was for the master to find out that he had made a bet about his love life. "Uh, it wasn't anything big, just a petty gamble." Incredibly nervous, he knew the master could tell.

Looking him over speculatively, Kenshin nodded slowly. "I see. Well, I'm afraid you are going to have to lay off the gambling and drinking as of now. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes, sir." Agreeing quickly, Sano prayed he wouldn't press the matter.

"Good. Now if that is all you need of me, Sanosuke, then you need to hurry and report to Katsura-san. I'll send a message informing him of the situation and you can start right away."

"Yes, sir." Accepting the orders gladly, Sano jerked his head in acknowledgement and turned to hop out the door.

"Oh, but before that, Sanosuke… take a bath. That's an order."

Abashed, Sano grimaced. "Yes, sir."

X

Kaoru smiled and waved cheerfully at the servants she passed on her way down the veranda. It was a beautiful day, perhaps a little hot, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining happily down on them. A light breeze blew off the ocean and up the mountain side, relieving the fierce rays of sunshine and keeping them from overly high temperatures. So happy she felt she could burst, Kaoru giggled. Everything was going so wonderfully, and she could hardly contain her joy.

It had been a month since their first kiss in the cherry grove, and Kaoru was firmly situated on cloud nine. Everything just kept getting sweeter between them, every touch and look softer, containing more feeling, more love. It was overwhelming, unbelievable, and completely blissful. Unexpectedly their relationship was also very playful. Hiding their intimate exchanges from the servants had turned into a sort of game for them, and it was all the more amusing and fun knowing it was killing the others because they couldn't catch them in the act.

Of course they had slipped up a couple of times, but those moments were innocent enough that Kaoru didn't think it was too big of a deal. Kenshin got irritated, but then, he was mister propriety. He wanted to keep his private life just that; private. Kaoru did agree, but sometimes it was nice getting to see her friends look so happy for them. Although, they had startled Tae so much that she dropped the tray of food she was bringing in for lunch. That was embarrassing all around.

Giggling, Kaoru covered her mouth and skipped down a set of steps into the yard, feeling exceptionally light. Without a doubt she could confidently say that Kenshin was happy, and it wasn't just because of the change in his eyes. They were a big indicator that he was finally breaking free of his insecurities, but they were only a bridge leading to the happiness on the other side of that freedom. Now there, Kenshin was so much more relaxed, his humor was more prominent, and his love was growing purer and gentler by the day. He loved her, and she had no reason to ever doubt otherwise.

There was one last shadow still haunting him, however, and Kaoru was still working with him to dispel his anxiety. It was only a dream, a simple recurring nightmare he had experienced at random over the last month. At first, Kaoru had only known something was bothering him by his actions. Unaware of the dream yet, she would guess at his fear when she would wake up to find herself in his arms, either while he was still walking or already seated on the veranda at different locations around the palace. He would deny being upset and claim only that he wished to hold her, trying to turn his actions into a simple act of love. For awhile this diversion had appeased her, but it didn't take long for her to notice something else was eating at his mind. It was especially easy to figure out what that something was when she had to continually convince him that she loved him and that love would never change no matter what.

Only within the last week had he confessed that it was a nightmare forcing him to feel the same old doubts. He wouldn't give her any details about what was done or said, or even truly what it was about, but Kaoru could imagine some of the details. It had to do with her and him, and it had to do with her not loving him because of who he was. After a small argument he had admitted that in his heart he knew she loved him, but he couldn't help himself from needing her comfort after those dreams. Something about them took hold and would not let go, and they lingered far longer than any normal dream should in his heart and mind. Just her presence gave him enough reassurance to fight the eerie feelings away, it wasn't as if he didn't believe her.

Sapphire eyes softening, Kaoru clasped her hands in front of her. They would get around this obstacle as well. She didn't care what it took, she was going to convince him once and for all that he had nothing to fear. She wasn't going anywhere, and neither was her love for him.

"Right. Enough of this, it's time for the next stage of the plan." Standing in front of the shrine now, Kaoru grinned and hurried up the steps to the door. After a few sparse visits to the shrine, and a few detailed conversations with Tomoe, everything was panning out great. It seemed that Tomoe herself had kept watch as much as she could, which would explain the few times the door had been open when they had walked by. Although it embarrassed Kaoru to know the sorceress had been spying on their private moments, she understood it was probably better to have an outside opinion on the matter. After all, Kaoru was just trying to go off of a vague mission objective, not to mention she was a little close to the situation. What she thought was happy might not be true happiness. Although, she was pretty well sure that Kenshin was not going to get much happier at this point.

Knocking politely on the door, she grinned, her eyes squeezing shut when Tomoe opened the shoji and greeted her. "Good-afternoon, Kaoru-chan. You look simply radiant today." Smiling, she took her by the hand and led her inside, shutting the door behind them. "I suppose I don't need to ask how you are doing." Settling down on the cushions, Tomoe touched a cold finger to Kaoru's warm, blushing cheek. "You are a woman in love. Your life won't get any better than this, ne?"

Kaoru shook her head gleefully. "It doesn't feel like I can get any happier."

"I know, young one."

Biting her lip as a touch of sadness entered Tomoe's voice, Kaoru's aura dimmed just slightly, and she glanced sideways at the tree. It looked sad and bare, the branches blackening as if in death, and just an arms length away from her a single forlorn petal hung on for life. It was paling already, just a bare touch of pink coloring its surface. It wouldn't be much longer before it fell too, and then Tomoe would be gone. It would be a pleasant reunion for her with the loved ones she had waiting, but Tomoe had already admitted she wouldn't be able to greet them without shame if they couldn't break the curse before then. It was time to get serious.

"It's time, isn't it?"

"Yes, young one. You have done extremely well in your task. Lord Himura is now fully alive and in love and happy with his life. This next stage must be handled just as delicately, however, even though our time is much shorter. Do you think you are ready and willing to do everything you must to set the man you love free from this curse?"

"Yes." Nodding resolutely, Kaoru squared her shoulders. Whatever it was, she had no doubt that she would pull it off for him. To free him and everyone from the curse, perhaps then he would no longer have his doubts about her love.

A painful, tight smile quivered on Tomoe's lips and Kaoru's determination wavered in concern and wariness. Clasping Kaoru's hand in both of her own, Tomoe petted her skin softly. "Then if you are sure, I must tell you and hope that you will forgive me and think of me favorably after it is all over."

"Tomoe-dono?" A touch of fear tugged at Kaoru's heart, and she searched the black eyes staring back at her but found only sorrow. "What is it? What do I have to do?"

"Oh sweet girl… you have to leave."

X

A/N: Don't hate me! Well, it's ok if you do, but this is what has to happen, so… Sorry, but I do what I want. XP Alrighty, so I got just a hint of what's going on with Enishi at the beginning, and maybe you'll start to get a bit more of his personality from it and why he's going through so much trouble for Kaoru. Maybe. I didn't explain much so I won't expect much.

Sano's story was hard to put together, and I'm still not satisfied that I pulled off his personality correctly, but I had to kind of mold him into a being that is at once subservient to his master and then cocky and outspoken, too. I'm afraid I pretty much made up my own character, but I'll let you guys be the judge of that. Please let me know honestly how I did. What I wanted the most out of this side story was the ending result. Not just with Sano, but with Kenshin. I hope you all caught on. Kenshin wants to be friends! Squee! Ok, I'm over it. Anyway, I didn't resolve anything between him and the fox, but I hope you understood why I couldn't yet. He's trying to be a good man and get himself straightened out before going back to her. Who would have thought? lol

And now finally the ending arc has arrived. I've actually gone through the entire ending story plot with my grandma, it was fun getting to see all the reactions I wanted so… I'm looking forward to all of your reactions as well! Lay them on me I can take it! Wohoo! So in the next chapter, Tomoe will explain in depth, and Kaoru will have to learn a trait ill-suited to her personality. Please review and I hope to see you soon!


	37. Deceit

Thanks for all the reviews. The picture isn't the one I was working on, but it's taking me so long that I figured this one would do temporarily. (Or permanently, if I get lazy…lol.)

Disclaimer: I know I suck… don't be mad.

**Chapter 37: Deceit**

"What?" A ringing, monotonous and deafening, sung in her ears and Kaoru felt dazedly numb. Disbelief made it hard for her to understand, and all she could do was blink and watch as the sorceress before her sighed, her eyes closing.

"You must leave, Kaoru-chan. Leave this place, leave these people… leave your lover. You must do this or the curse will remain for all time."

The shrill ringing began to pulsate, a low, thundering throb that echoed each painful beat of her heart. This was not what she had expected. "But… why? Why would you… why make him care for me so much just to make me leave him?" Her heartbeat was accelerating, harshening until it felt like a hammer pounding against her ribs. The resulting tremor worked its way down into the pit of her stomach and up into her throat. "Why put us in such a situation that would force us to care for each other more than before?"

"I…" Tomoe's voice faltered, a small ripple of feeling to express her own misery at the requirement. Swallowing determinedly, she told herself she had no right to act hurt. Today she must destroy this young girl's life. It was the unfortunate, necessary price that needed paid to atone for past sins. "I told you once before, young one. I have had many years to think on this. My curse is much too extensive and specific. In order to break it, I have planned out this scenario… ever since the first moment you stepped foot into my shrine as a child of four years."

"You…?" Kaoru was finding it hard to breathe, her blue eyes wide and hurt as her mind put all the pieces together. "You lured me into the shrine that day. You…" A gasp trembled through her lips. "You called me up the mountain to this place."

"Yes. I needed you two to meet. I needed for him to care about someone. A child is much more trusting than an adult. It was the only way he would open his heart. I did not plan on you shortening the time…" Deep black eyes swiveled over to the pitiful, lone petal on her nearly lifeless tree. "but no matter. Everything has come to the end I needed. All that is left is for you to break the heart you have nursed."

The painful truth curled Kaoru's features in agony, but even as tears fought her quivering muscles, anger tightened her fists. "You used me to hurt him for your revenge!"

"…Yes."

"And you expect me to just go along with it?"

"Dear girl… it is the only way to free everyone from the curse. Did you not say it is unfair to them? Did you not say you would do anything to free them? To free Lord Himura? If you falter now… you will condemn them to an even greater suffering."

"What do you mean?" Bitter and unconvinced, Kaoru directed her glaring eyes upon the woman in front of her. Something like hatred stirred within her.

"If you decide to stay with the man you love then everyone here will continue to dwell in their current forms… for all time. They will not age, sicken, or die. This also includes your precious love. Lord Himura will stay with you, because he loves you… but you, you will age, you will sicken, and eventually Kaoru-chan… you will die, and in death you will leave him. He will once again be alone, only this time the solitude will be maddening. This time he will have dreams of those moments when he had everything he could ever desire. This time he will despair in the absence of every sensation you imprint upon him. He will destroy himself from within, driving himself mad with a longing that can never be fulfilled again. Not for any short time, but for eternity. No matter how much he defies his imprisonment, he will be locked in his small world of grief that only death can free him from."

Tomoe closed her eyes to shield herself from the horror on Kaoru's face. "Death will never come looking for him because of you… not unless he takes his own life. Which I have no doubt that he will. If you stay and give him the next sixty years of yourself, it will be too long of a time for him to become used to the taste of love. He will no longer know how to live without it. If you leave now, however… his heart will be broken, but he still remembers what it is like to be alone. He will survive to take care of his people. Everyone will be free to move on."

"_He will destroy himself from within." Tomoe-dono… is this what you have done in the absence of love? Is this how you feel now?_ Sapphire eyes heavily studied the expression on the sorceress and she understood why it felt as if she could fall into her eyes. There was nothing there, only a void. _I… I can't do that to Kenshin. I can't stand the thought of him living forever in such a state… nor can I handle him taking his own life because of me. I love him so much… I don't ever want to cause him pain, but… either way I will be tearing his heart to shreds._

"Is…" Sniffing and gasping, she wiped at her nose. "After the curse is broken… am I allowed to come back?"

The question seemed to settle heavily upon Tomoe's shoulders, and the small shake of her head before she even began to speak tore Kaoru's eyes away as the woman destroyed her last piece of hope. "No. I'm afraid… there might be some kind of repercussion if you return. In order to break the curse he must experience the heartbreak of losing someone he loves more than his own life. If you were to come back after the curse is broken and mend his heart, there is the chance of a throw-back. The curse has begun to include you in its web. You are the counterweight that will even its influence on this place and people. If you were to come back after it has been properly regulated, you would be potentially stepping off the balance and returning it to its previous agitation. It might even return dangerously. A rebounded curse is perilous, there's no telling what it would do. I'm afraid if you decide to leave… you must leave for good."

"I see." Deep sapphire irises stared at the remaining petal, imagining it falling, bursting upon the ground in a tragic spray of faded pink glass. What would happen to the tree and Tomoe, she wondered. Would they just vanish, a painless transition into the afterlife, or would her death be agonizing in retaliation for the awful curse she had cast on good people? Would it depend on whether the curse was broken or not? In the end, Kaoru knew she would never find out… because she would not be around to witness it.

"You've known from the very start what I will decide, haven't you?"

Tomoe sighed, her dark eyes avoiding the face of the beautiful girl before her. "Yes, Kaoru-chan."

"Even if I was capable of letting Kenshin endure this curse just for the sake of love, I could never drag everyone else into such a situation. At least, that is what my mind is telling me is the right decision." One hand curled into the material of her kimono, clenching the fabric tight over her chest. "My heart, however, is thinking only of Kenshin. When I leave…" A small, trembling gasp interrupted her speech, but she swallowed it down quickly and continued in a steady voice. "I will leave for him and no one else." Eyes finally dragging themselves back to the sorceress, Kaoru's look was torn and troubled. "Isn't that horribly selfish?"

"No." Smiling sadly, Tomoe touched her face again. "You are the most compassionate child I have ever met. There is nothing selfish about your feelings."

"Thank you." Silence held sway over their conversation for a moment or two, and a thought twisted Kaoru's lips, pulling them harshly downward. "Tomoe-dono… I'm going to have to lie to Kenshin… aren't I?"

"Yes."

"I don't think I'm capable of that."

"It is not going to be easy, I know. You are an honest girl, and your feelings are always visible on your face. I have… planned for this." Kaoru frowned. "It would have been better if we had more time, but unfortunately we do not. You must do this quickly."

"How quickly?" Panic seized her heart, and the extent of what she would have to do slammed into her chest. She didn't want to leave too soon. Just a little bit more time with Kenshin… was that so much to ask for?

"By tomorrow night." Tomoe watched as blue eyes closed in anguish.

"I don't know… if I can."

"I will help you. As I said, I have been planning for this. You will still need to perform as well as you can, but I am well aware that you are a poor liar. Are you ready to hear what must be done?"

Feeling overwhelmed and defeated, Kaoru nodded. "…I am ready."

X

The shoji to the dining hall was standing expectantly open when Kaoru arrived for dinner, a telling sign that Kenshin was waiting for her patiently. Trying to catch her breath, trying to banish all of Tomoe's helpful words from her mind, Kaoru chanted only what must be done now. For tonight she was to act mostly normal. Tonight she must pretend like she was fine and only slightly troubled. Still loving, still natural, but distant enough to make him notice. It was a delicate game she was playing, and Kaoru was not delicate. _How will I ever survive this?_

Stepping through the doorway presented her with the image of him seated at the table, one hand playing idly with his teacup. An unfocused expression left his features vacant, his thoughts clearly elsewhere, and she wondered if he thought about her. _Will he ever think of me kindly again after this?_ The wayward thought threatened to bring tears to her eyes, and she blinked them back furiously.

In the next second his attention found her, a smile blooming happily on his face, and the reaction only added to her misery. _How wretched a person I am, to let him love me so blindly when I am even now plotting to run away._ Pretending as if she were bothered was not going to be a problem. It was keeping it in check that would prove to be challenging.

Trying to smile back, she stood there and stared a moment too long, wanting to memorize how he looked before she tore his heart out. The smile on his face faltered and he stood to close the distance. "Kaoru-dono, are you alright?" Eyes flying wide, she nodded quickly and struggled to find her words. "Of course… I… I was just… admiring the view." _I am too honest. I guess that's not something anyone realizes until they are forced to lie._ The smile came back and he looked just a bit bashful at the compliment. "Well I cannot see you at all with the sun behind you like that. Come sit down so that I may admire you as well." An arm wrapped around her shoulders and led her to the table, a soft kiss planting itself against her temple. The contact made her tremble, her resolve wavering.

The look on his face was almost encouraging as he resumed his own seat, and it produced mixed feelings within her. She needed to stand steadily upon the path she had chosen no matter what was to happen between them. What she did was for his sake, because she loved him above all others. On the other hand, how could she possibly destroy everything he had worked so hard to gain? Perhaps she was being arrogant in assuming that she could affect him so greatly, but what if her departure did cast him back into the solitude he had lived in before? What if he once again cared for nothing and hated everything?

As she was lost to her thoughts, Kenshin spoke while he ate. Occasionally she gave a vague reply, but she never really heard what was said. Later she would curse herself for not paying more attention, for not soaking in every second with him that she could, but the realization would come too late. By then it would be night, and she would be lying in her bed, staring at her ceiling and calling herself a fool as sleep avoided her.

"Kaoru-dono, are you sure you are alright?"

Kaoru jerked, her breath sucking into her lungs shakily, and she directed wide, vulnerable eyes at the man seated at the head of the table. The master of the palace, the cursed lord, the king of her heart… and tomorrow night she was going to leave him forever. Kaoru was far from alright.

A frown lined his brow and he stood to kneel next to her. "You look so pale. Are you not feeling well?" Gently his hand caressed her cheek and she leaned into the touch. _"You must make him doubt. Do not give too much away tonight, but throughout this entire endeavor you must not allow him to feel comfortable with your reply. Convenient excuses will be counterproductive."_

"I… I'm afraid I have no appetite tonight." _If I am no good at lying, then I shall let the truth help me._ "I'm just… so exhausted, Kenshin." His frown deepened as she leaned into him, her head resting on his shoulder, and he automatically held her there while he studied her face.

"Perhaps you should go to bed early tonight and rest, but you should try to eat something at least. You haven't even touched your food."

Shaking her head against him, she turned her nose into his kimono and let his scent surround her. "I don't think I could stomach anything." _And I don't want to go to bed. Just… hold me for a little while longer._

"You were fine this afternoon." Speculative, he ran his hand soothingly up and down her back. "What happened this evening to make you feel this way?"

_How am I to beat this man? He is much too insightful and attentive._ Scared that he might discover too much, Kaoru unwittingly looked up at him from her position near his chest. Their gaze met and his frown darkened. "Did someone upset you?" Sapphire eyes widened further, and one of his clawed hands curved around her face again, the touch firmer in his anger. "Who was it? What was said? I promise it will not go unpunished."

_Idiot! This is not working! You have to do something quick!_ "It's nobody's fault, Kenshin. I've just… had a lot on my mind."

"You do not need to feel obligated in protecting anyone, Kaoru-dono. If they have upset you, I will not allow them to get away with it. I want you to be happy here. I want you to be happy with me."

_I __**am **__happy with you, and it is not obligation that forces me to protect, it is love._ "Nobody has upset me Kenshin. I promise." So far, it was the biggest lie she had ever told, but she knew that would not be true by the end of the next day. A cold shiver passed up her spine.

"Then tell me what is on your mind. Sharing your troubles is much better than keeping them to yourself. This much at least I have learned from you. Please, Kaoru-dono, I wish to share your burdens as well."

_I love this man so much._ Still staring up at him, the look in her eyes must have changed because it didn't take long for the frown on his face to melt away. It was a direct contrast to the moment she had entered the dining hall, and it struck home how easily she could affect his moods. Breaking his heart would take no effort at all.

Shaken by the knowledge, Kaoru shifted eagerly to meet him halfway, letting herself drown in his kiss. There was no sense of soaring high this time, no sense of flying. Their love was no longer free and wild like the wind. In her heart she was being drawn downwards into the darkness of the ocean, and soon she would be too far under to ever have a chance of surfacing to the open sky again. As with any creature about to drown, desperation took hold, thrashing about in the back of her mind for the life just above the water's plane. He was life, he was oxygen, and she wanted to hold onto him so badly.

When he jerked away from her she was trembling again, and she came back to herself with a catch of breath. Disoriented, still floating a sea, she found herself plagued by emotions she was barely acquainted with. Emotions that were dangerous and tricky. Her desperation was heightening their drive, and fear of her actions finally forced her eyes wide open in shock. He was staring back, his own breathing heavy, and she saw a reflection of those same emotions in his eyes. Eyes such a beautiful amethyst now darkened by heated desire.

"Kaoru-dono…"

_No! I screwed up! That should have never happened!_ Terror brought forth anguish, and the combination of everything that had been pressed upon her that day overwhelmed her reason. Tears built up in her eyes but would not fall, and she bit her lip so hard she feared drawing blood. Anxiety was quick to take the place of his longing and he pushed distance between them so he could cup her face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono. Please forgive me. Don't be upset, I didn't mean to frighten you."

_But it's my fault! It's my fault!_ Knowing she could not argue without giving too much away, Kaoru closed her eyes and let him continue apologizing. A part of herself that now thought about Tomoe's plan even considered the benefits of this new apprehension within him. Her newly born conniving nature turned her stomach sickeningly.

"I… I really am tired, Kenshin." Stepping around his apologizes without giving any answer, Kaoru found an escape from the situation. She didn't want to squander the remaining moments she had with him, but because she could not enjoy them the way she wanted his presence was merely torturous.

"Of course, Kaoru-dono. Let me walk you to your rooms." She nodded, accepting his helping hand up, and then let him curl his fingers around her own as he escorted her through the palace.

"I expect you to eat your breakfast in the morning." There was no command in the statement, only worry, and she clamped down on her trembling lip as she nodded again. "Skipping meals is not good for you, and I wish for you to stay healthy." Stopping in front of her door, she turned to face him, his hand once again touching her cheek. "I don't want to lose you, Kaoru-dono." _Please stop._ Closing her eyes, she nodded silently again. "Alright." There was a slight smile in his voice, his touch playing briefly with her bangs. "You never did tell me what was bothering you."

Truly exhausted, her tired body registered panic again and she thought she might crash or break down. Shaking her head, she encircled his hand with both of her own and dislodged his touch. "Can we talk about it tomorrow? I… would like to think about it by myself before sharing, if that's alright with you."

"Of course. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." Though his answer was reassuring, Kaoru could tell her response bothered him. It was in the furrow of his brow and the slightly suspicious light in his eyes. He didn't completely trust her… but then he was right not to. The situation became worse when he leaned forward to leave her with their customary kiss goodnight and she shied from the contact. Afraid that her desperation might rear its head again and once more lead them into forbidden territory, she did only what she could to stop it, she denied him. A twitch of pain contorted his face before the mask she associated with his audiences slammed down, blocking off the show of vulnerable emotion. It seemed Tomoe had been right. Kenshin was not fully healed. He still remembered his solitude.

It hurt seeing this reaction and knowing she was the cause. Before she could stop herself her hand was detaining him, her fingers a soft touch along his jaw. He froze, his eyes closing as she leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth. The mask on his face broke, his body relaxing, and even as she berated herself for being so weak, she reasoned that she was meant to act mostly normal tonight. It would be okay to end their evening as they usually did. In fact, it would be much too strange to end it any other way.

"Goodnight, Kenshin."

Though, this was not completely normal.

Confusion showed that he noticed and was unsure, but he responded in kind. "Goodnight, Kaoru-dono."

The frown was back on his face as he left, and Kaoru hid inside before she did something stupid. Leaning back against the door, she felt abruptly incomplete without the usual words they traded. It would be a feeling she would have to get used to, because it was something that would never happen again. Starting tomorrow, she would have to get serious. Starting tomorrow, she would have to be stronger.

"_You must remember this at all times, Kaoru-chan, for it is very important. From now on, you must never say that you love him."_

"Goodnight, Kenshin. I love you." From now on, she would just have to imagine his reply back.

X

The next morning was strangely uneventful. Before breakfast she went to Kenshin's pavilion, as usual, and helped him with his hair and clothes. The difference was felt in the uncomfortable silence as she coaxed his hair up into a high ponytail and tied the knots of the wing slits in his kimono. They barely spoke, only enough to say good-morning and a few other pleasantries that she thought sounded cold. Unable to sleep the night before, Kaoru found little energy to break the mood, or add to it either.

It saddened her at how easily they could become estranged, and she missed already the days before when they were so very much in love and showing it. There was no attempted kiss like the other mornings, but he did hold her hand on the way to breakfast, and she had to consciously keep herself from clinging to the contact. At the table their silence continued and it dampened her appetite further, but she forced herself to eat enough to appease the unsatisfied glare he aimed at the back of her neck. That she was pleased even just a little that he was still looking out for her only deepened her depression.

In the back of her mind she keep going over everything she had been told to do. So far, since they had yet to speak, the only thing she had been able to accomplish successfully was the absence of eye contact. This, Tomoe had assured her, was another important detail she needed to remember. It wasn't as hard as Kaoru had figured it would be, and she actually found herself empathizing with Kenshin's own moments of hiding. Without being able to see the emotions and reactions his eyes gave away, and vice-versa, Kaoru was strangely comforted by the avoidance.

After breakfast he was called immediately away and Kaoru was left feeling empty and alone, but relieved as well that the confrontation had been postponed. Isolating herself from everyone, another requirement Tomoe had given her, Kaoru found solace by the pond until lunch. It was starting to hurt less and feel more surreal by then, that her time left at the palace was limited to hours. If her abused emotions kept on in this direction, perhaps she would be blessedly numb by the time she left.

It was as lunch ended that everything started in the downhill direction of her leaving, and as he said the words she had been expecting, she realized she had been hoping he never would. "Are you ready to tell me what is bothering you now, Kaoru-dono?" His voice was so stern she was unable to help her slip, and she glanced at him, their eyes connecting and giving her a clear idea of how bothered he himself was. Ducking her chin quickly to break the link, she fought her trembling, every fiber of her being disagreeing with her decision. _It has to be done. There's no other way. Please. You have to be strong. Strong enough for both of you. If you love him, you will do this right._

The words Tomoe fed to her the day before echoed clearly in her mind. "You have been so indecisive lately, Kenshin." Out of the corner of her eye she watched him stiffen. "I've been thinking about why. About how you cannot accept my love to be real."

"But Kaoru-do…"

Holding up a hand, Kaoru lifted her chin but did not look in his direction. "After thinking on it for a long time, I realized that this is because… I myself am unsure. I cannot convince you, because I cannot fully convince myself."

"What… are you talking about?"

There was such heartbreaking confusion in his voice that she felt it reverberate in her chest, threatening her resolve. She didn't want to say these cruel things! She didn't want to rip his heart out! _But you can't back out now. This is for him. For everyone. You must be cruel because you love him._ "W-when I first came here, I was only planning on being nice to you because you had threatened my father. I had no other choice." Her voice wavered at first, then gained strength as the tale she was spinning progressed. When she spoke of him threatening her father, though, her composure broke for a moment at his reaction. Kenshin gasped for breath in such a startling way she couldn't help her second glance at him, frightened by his wide eyes and blatant fear of her confession. _Tomoe was telling the truth._ The realization brought forth hatred towards the sorceress, but Kaoru understood now why it was a necessity. This would have never worked otherwise. Scrambling for a moment to remember what was to be said next, Kaoru looked in the completely opposite direction to keep herself from noticing his pain.

"It struck me, just recently, that… perhaps that is all I have been doing. Perhaps I am… merely afraid that you will no longer allow my father to live or visit if I do not continue with this relationship."

"Perhaps? Kaoru-dono… you know I would never hurt your father. I would never hurt anyone in your family."

"But I didn't know that at first, and… after awhile… I guess I started to think that… I really liked living here." Briefly she glanced at him again, but he seemed more encouraged than hurt. She hadn't said it correctly. Becoming impatient, she pulled in a shaky breath, wanting this to be over with. "Look. I don't know, okay. I can't figure out if I'm still just playing along or not. And there's other things, too, but…"

"What other things?"

Panicking, Kaoru shook her head. This was going too far too fast. It was too much. If she said everything now, then her leaving would be all the quicker, and she couldn't leave until night.

"Tell me." He was next to her now, his hand forcing her to look at him, and the expression on his face was desperate and irrational. It was hard to feel indifferent with that look bearing down on her.

"Y-your past."

"But… I thought we had already been through that." The desperation won, and he look on the verge of devastation.

"I told you I don't know." Closing her eyes to block him out, she tried to stay focused, but it was getting harder. "What if I forgot who I really was pretending to be who you wanted? What if… the real me can't stand you?"

It was quiet for a long moment, but Kaoru was too afraid to open her eyes. "Please stop saying these things, Kaoru-dono. I know the real you, and that is the person I love." A gentle kiss pressed against her forehead, and she nearly whimpered in pain. The thoughtful, reasonable, and attentive master was back. Things were not going well for the plan. "I don't know what has brought on these sudden misgivings, but I promise to do everything I can to make them go away." Two tears fought their way through her clenched eyelids, giving her away as they slipped down her cheeks. Carefully he brushed them away, as he always did. In her heart she was so painfully happy to be loved by this amazing man. Even while she was trying to destroy him. "Even if you really can't stand me, I promise to try and be better. To be someone you want. Just tell me what you need me to do."

_He would change himself for me if I asked._ Astonished and feeling so ashamed of the words she was speaking, she shook her head, fighting her tears. "I… I need some more time to think about it."

"Very well. Take all the time you need. I will always be here for you." Unlike the night before, his words were openly honest this time, perfectly clear and truthful. How was she ever going to convince him that she didn't love him? "I have duties to attend to this afternoon, Kaoru-dono. If you are up to it tonight… we will continue this conversation then. Is that agreeable?"

Swallowing, she nodded and shivered as if cold when he released her. Because it was cold; empty and barren like a snow covered field without him next to her. She didn't know if she truly wanted to leave anymore. What if… what if she didn't tell anyone? What if she kept the knowledge to herself that she knew how to break the curse? If she stayed, no one would ever know. No one would ever blame her for their curse, because they would be ignorant to the details. Not even Kenshin would know. She could stay and love and be loved until death and no one would ever be the wiser. Then she wouldn't have to play this façade. Then she could give up on trying to break his heart and live with him as she wished.

Cursing herself for feeling so weak, Kaoru dropped her head in her hands and fought her breathing. _Don't be so stupid! The thoughts you just entertained were shameful! You can't just think of yourself. What you do is for everyone. What you do is for Kenshin. Stay firm. Even if he ends up hating you… as long as it breaks the curse you should be happy._

The back shoji slid open and Kaoru stood quickly to retreat to her rooms. She needed to be alone, even despite Tomoe's request for isolation. Kaoru's acting wasn't good enough to fool Kenshin, and she needed to think of what to say to him that night in order to convince him of her contempt.

_I know now for certain, though, that what Tomoe said to me was true._ Their conversation the day before had brought a new truth into the light that had surprised Kaoru. Kenshin's dreams, the nightmares he had been experiencing over the last month, all of them were given to him by Tomoe. _"I had to make sure he was still unsure, and the easiest way to do that is to prey on his insecurities. On what he fears most. Those dreams were just for that purpose, and now we are going to use them against him further."_

Kaoru hated the thought that she was now trying to convince him that everything he dreamed about was true when she had spent the last month trying to reassure him otherwise. It seemed it was necessary, though, and she was amazed that Tomoe had thought so far ahead. Although, she was apparently a master planner, considering she had lured a four-year old into this position just for this very purpose thirteen years later.

There were certain things in said dreams that Kaoru was supposed to say to him now, and though she had spoken two of them, one of them incorrectly, he had not reacted as upset as expected. After dinner, she needed to make sure she said the others with as much conviction as possible. Otherwise she would never get it right and the curse would forever remain.

X

The second confrontation came swiftly after a silent supper, and Kaoru was feeling decidedly sick by this time. It made her complacent, and her voice monotonous, a direct contrast to the gentle voice of the master. So kind… so loving… and Kaoru almost wished he was ill-tempered instead. She could get angry so much easier when he was angry. Ready or not, it was time to break him.

Steeling herself, she resolved to start. That would be the best way. If she appeared hesitant, then it would leave her argument open for attack. "I don't belong here, Kenshin." The half-pause was deafening. "I don't belong with you." Her next breath was interrupted by the sharp clang and rattle of his chopsticks hitting the table. Blessedly, that numbness she had prayed for kept her from jumping, and she was even able to look at him without reacting to the horror on his face. _I'm doing this for him. For him and no one else. Love has made me strong._ Remembering Tomoe's recitation of the dream, and having practiced it over and over again inside her head with some minor additions, she transitioned smoothly into the next phrase, ignoring his pain.

"I've thought about it, and I know now that I never really loved you. I just felt sorry for you." His eyes were impossibly wide, his breathing shallow, but as she stared she imagined herself seeing someone else. Someone she could hate. Enishi's face popped into her mind. The only person she had ever truly spoken hateful things to. "I was nice to you at first, because of my father's situation, but… after that," With practiced indifference, she shrugged, and a small noise, like a whimper of pain escaped his throat. "Your situation was just too sad, and I was okay with pretending to make you happy anyway since it was to my own benefit. After I found out about your past, though… it was hard to pretend. I tried, because Father said I should, but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forgive you. What you did… it goes against everything I believe in."

"Kaoru-dono, please… I've been doing what you said. I'm learning from what I did, I'm trying to make myself better. Because of you, I don't ever plan on taking another life, no matter what. I swear, I haven't since we met…" In his desperation, words he could not say were true slipped from his mouth and he stopped, his face crumbling. "I'm sorry, that was a lie."

Momentarily shocked out of her focused daze, Kaoru blinked at him. "What?"

"Takeda… those hyena that attacked you…" Swallowing with difficulty, Kenshin confessed shakily. "I had them all killed."

"But you told me you didn't."

"I lied. But I did not understand. I do now, and I've given it a lot of thought."

"You lied to me?" Kaoru stood, genuinely incredulous, her voice rising as she looked down at him. Following her lead, he stood and confronted her, holding her still to try and make her see.

"Kaoru-dono, please just listen. I lied to appease you, but since then I have come to appreciate your discipline, and I find it a much more appealing one than my own. I'm not the same child I was back then, and I am even less so now that I have met you. I never want to take another life, and it's no longer because I wish to please you, but because it is something I genuinely desire. So please… you cannot hold my past against me. Not anymore. Please."

The happiness Kaoru experienced knowing he felt the way he did nearly undid her. To think this man was willing to follow the teachings of her discipline in favor of the one he had been raised on, simply by being around her and never even practicing it, was amazing. All this only made her love him all the more, and she was able to forgive him the lie almost instantly. _He has grown so much since I first met him._

"And of course you belong here. There is nowhere else in this world you belong more." Pulling her closer, taking unwitting advantage of her lapse in resolve, he hugged her tight to his chest. "Right here, ne?"

When he was fighting for something, fighting with all his might, he would not be swayed, and she realized her mistake in bringing up the past. He had already made peace with the past, and so had no more insecurities about it. With his own resolve renewed and strengthened, he would not give her up so easily. If only she had strayed from such a topic, he might even now be falling for her ruse.

Firming her own determination, she clenched her jaw and shoved against him to place distance once more between them. He was shocked, briefly hurt, but she was on a mission. One that only she could accomplish, and she was not about to fail. "No, Kenshin, it's not. I told you… I don't love you. I don't belong here."

"Yes, you do." Her head shook resolutely, and he looked a way, collecting himself. "Then what do I need to do? You said you would think on it. Tell me now, I would do anything, whatever you want. How can I change? How can I convince you to stay?"

"You can't." It was getting harder and harder to not see Kenshin's frantic anguish, and her voice came out in barely a whisper.

"Yes I can." Firm and snappy enough to make her jump, his fingers tightened on her arms, pinching her skin. He was fraught enough to mean it, and Kaoru knew exactly what to say. Just like the last time they had carried on a conversation about his insecurities. Though this time… it was going to kill her.

"C-can you… change the way you look?" Barely able to cover the hitch in her voice, she watched his argument fall apart. Swallowing and trying to step back, she had every intention of retreat, thinking her job done, when he came back with one last futile hope.

"If you can't love me… then stay as a friend. That's agreeable, ne? You'll never be treated any differently, I'll never expect anything more. As long as you stay. Just stay, that's all I ask." Kaoru's mouth opened, her head already shaking, but he jerked her into a hug before she could answer, his arms painfully tight. "Just think about it. Don't answer right away. I'll give you whatever you want. You can even keep my mother's kimono, and if I don't have what you want, then I'll find it for you. I don't care what it takes."

_Please stop, Kenshin. This is awful enough._ Unable to do anything else, she nodded in agreement. "Okay… I'll think about it."

"Good." A hand patted her back, then lifted to stroke the back of her head. "Good." The gesture felt so unnatural, a bit vague, and when he pulled away, his smile didn't feel real. He was in denial… trying to protect his heart. "I'll see you in the morning then, my lady. I hope you sleep well." He turned and walked out, the strange smile still on his face, and she wondered briefly if he was truly planning on going to bed this early.

Her knees almost gave way after he was gone and she stumbled, pressing her fingers into her temples to relieve the dizziness. _I've done it. I've convinced him of my lie. Now all that's left to do is leave._ Steadying herself, she exited the dining hall, taking dragging steps back to her rooms so as not to run into him by accident._ I understand now why it is needed. Just making him think I do not love him isn't enough. He would be completely content for awhile with just my presence. If I leave, he will have no other choice but to face the reality._

Almost to her rooms and a quick detour was required to throw up all of her dinner. Even after her stomach was empty the convulsions would not let up. Exhausted and weak, Kaoru tried to clean herself up as best she could before returning to her rooms; an acrid taste leftover in her mouth. Having dismissed Misao for the day, her rooms were quiet and empty, a prelude to the solitude she herself would have to live with for the rest of her life. Trembling only briefly, she forced herself to pack her few belongings and then lay down to rest. A few hours after nightfall, she would leave by the light of the moon.

X

The palace was deathly still when she stepped out onto the veranda, not a soul stirring in the night, and Kaoru knew why. It was another precaution Tomoe had set up. No one on this side of the palace would be awake until morning. This included Kenshin.

Stomach in knots, Kaoru slipped her way into his rooms, down the outer hall, and to the shoji that was firmly shut between them. Hands shaking, she slid it open, her eyes already well adjusted to the dark. It wasn't hard to tell where he was, his even breathing and the irregular shape of his shadow placing him against the far wall where he slept. Only a few clumsy steps in placed her directly before his slumped figure, and she knelt with more care on the floor, too aware of the warning Tomoe had given.

"_He will sleep until morning without waking, but you must not touch him. If you do, it will break the suggestion, for that is all this is. It is not a true spell. I have not the strength left for one of those."_

Seated before him now she knew her time was brief. If she was to get home before first light, then she needed to leave soon. Staring through the darkness, cursing the shadows for covering his beloved features, she took a moment to memorize his outline. Unable to touch him, unable to see him, she was robbed of any chance at quelling the ache in her heart. It would remain until her own death, but at least, with the curse broken, they might be able to meet in the afterlife. _Unless he is to find another… _It hurt, but she knew it was not impossible. He was a good man, and he deserved to be happy. That had been her wish after all. It didn't matter how it came true… though a small part of her still wished for it to be with her.

Remembering her true purpose, Kaoru reached for the clasp of her necklace. This was the last strike she would deal to his heart. When he woke in the morning, he would find the necklace waiting for him, and she gone. As it slipped into her hand she felt suddenly naked, and as she laid it on the table beside him a new feeling washed over her. It was like lazily drifting in the still ocean waters with nothing but blue above and below. A sense of apathy made her limbs feel incredibly heavy, and she had to shake her head several times to fight back a wave of darkness. Blinking away the daze, she stared at the glowing pink petal, her breath coming slightly easier as it sharpened her focus. Why did she feel so tired all of a sudden?

Telling herself it was from the emotional stress of the day and the little sleep she had gotten the night before, she forced her attention back to the lord. With the glow from the necklace his features were abruptly easier to discern. Pleased, she let her eyes take in everything they could, her lips smiling slightly in sorrowful joy. This would be the last time she saw him, but hopefully after this, it would be the last time anyone saw him in such a form. Soon he would be the young man in the painting again. Soon he would be normal and happy once more.

The hair on his head was still pulled up high into the ponytail she had put it in that morning, he was still wearing the kimono she had tied him into as well. It seemed he either had no intention of sleeping that night, or he had not wanted to disturb her with such minor details. Who could blame him though? With everything she had said, he probably did not want to give her any excuses not to stay. Saddened by the thought, hurt that she could not do this one last thing for him, she clenched her eyes shut on the tears. He was going to live out the remainder of his life believing that she did not love him. That she had never loved him. After all the time she had put into making him believe that she loved him so unconditionally, she was more than a little hurt that it had taken less than twenty-four hours to convince him otherwise.

It was more painful now than before, not being able to touch, to reassure. She couldn't leave letting him think such a thing. If it was possible, she wished that he would remember, if not consciously, then subconsciously.

Leaning as close as she dared, Kaoru barely raised her voice to a whisper, leaving him with the words that were screaming in her heart. "I love you, Kenshin. Please, please remember that I did and will always love you."

Struggling to stand, struggling to walk, she was grateful for the suggestion Tomoe had cast, for she made far too much noise stumbling down into the hall. Casting one last look over her shoulder, she said a silent farewell and closed the shoji between them forever.

X

A/N: Sigh… so here it is. I don't have much to do in explaining, since this is more than straightforward. It was such a depressing chapter to write. Almost brought me to tears several times as I imagined the emotion I wanted to put behind it. I hope I have brought that desired emotion to you as well. Please be kind, and please review. Oh, and tell someone you love them. They might need to hear it.

Next chapter… Kaoru gets walked home, and Kenshin wakes to an empty heart.


	38. Denial

I hope all of you will continue reading my story all the way to the end, no matter what happens. Thank you very much for coming with me this far.

Disclaimer: I don't own RK and anything related to it. Please forgive my willfulness.

**Chapter 38: Denial**

The creak of the gate closing was loud in the unnatural silence of the night. Like the final gong sounding the end of her act, the noise resounded inside of her; its meaning much too final. Letting out a painful breath, Kaoru closed her eyes for a brief moment, but did not allow herself to think about everything now shut away behind her. After all the heartache she had endured and forced Kenshin to endure, she was not about to waste that effort now by being too weak to go through with what was required of her.

Resolutely stepping forward into the dark woods, Kaoru set her path for home. Briefly the strength of her resolve wavered, the denial in her heart swift and strong. The place where she had grown up, the house she had lived in with her father, was not her home. Not anymore. It would always hold a soft place in her heart for many, many reasons, but it was no longer the place her heart yearned for. Home was now where Kenshin was, and she could never go back to him again.

Feeling drained and beyond tired, numb, she weaved a weary path among the trees, her steps ever dragging her forward down the path. She was thankful for the sloping trail. If she were required to go uphill, she was well aware she would never make it. Still, she knew she would have to watch her steps. One slip had the possibility of claiming her life, or limb.

As the trees swallowed her, she kept her eyes aimed at her feet, straining with what vision she had to watch for stray debris. The moonlight was strong, but she was under the cover of tens of thousands of leaves. A stream of moonlight at odd intervals was all the light she was afforded from her celestial company. Keeping her mind occupied with the monotony of searching, stepping, and staying upright, she had no time to think of what she was leaving behind. This also left no room for temptation; to look over her shoulder or sit down and wait for morning. For in the mornings the patrols would be back around that side of the palace and she would be found out.

A dozen more trees down the mountain and Kaoru tripped, slamming her palms into the harsh bark of a large tree trunk she couldn't identify. Cursing, because anger was better than tears and the tears wouldn't come anyway, Kaoru leaned her shoulder into the same tree and hissed at the small scrapes in her skin. What a pain… but pain was a good distraction.

"I knew you were reckless, but I did not realize you were stupid as well." Jerking, Kaoru looked up, searching blindly for the owner of the voice. Exhaustion falling away under tense, agitated adrenaline, Kaoru's mind ran wild with scenarios for the voice she could not place. One such idea… perhaps it was her subconscious come to rip her to shreds for all the horrible deeds she had just committed. "Traveling in the middle of the night is something only fools do. Especially if they can't see where they're going."

"Who's there?" Putting the trunk to her back, Kaoru whipped her head around, but she was barely able to penetrate the darkness with her sight.

"Who are you expecting?" Sarcasm dripped from every inch of the statement, and Kaoru frowned as a large, dark wolf came into view. At first relief relaxed her shoulders, but even though his identity was better than most, he was still not someone she had hoped to be meeting.

"Saitou-san?" Tense once more, she edged herself around the tree, backing away slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"The real question I think, my lady, is… what are you doing here?"

"I… I was just…"

"Running away?" Kaoru's face crumpled, and Saitou shrugged, his head tilting to the side nonchalantly, ignoring her reaction. "I suppose what the lady does is none of my business. My concern only includes safety and protection. If you are walking back to your father's home, then I shall escort you there."

"I…" Kaoru glanced through the trees then back at the wolf. She wanted to say no, but it would be safer if he came. "I would greatly appreciate that."

"Don't thank me." Snorting, he fell into step beside her. "I said it was my job, didn't I? Besides… the lord would have my head if I let you go off alone."

The mention of the palace lord made her heart spasm in grief, and she absently nodded as she looked away. "I would… not wish for you to get into any trouble, Saitou-san."

They walked for a long time in silence; Kaoru's drained personage poor company whereas Saitou's was always surrounded by an air of tension. Many times they were required to stop and rest; many times Kaoru tripped and lost her footing in the dark. After a dozen or so of such occasions, Saitou had finally insisted she thread one hand into the fur at the back of his neck for guidance. Their pace was slow in consequence, but steady enough for them to be near the base of the mountain by the time the sky began to lighten.

Able to see well enough to walk on her own, Kaoru loosened her grip on his fur and absently smoothed the ruffled area back down. Feeling strangely nostalgic, she frowned at the dark coat, and then smiled wistfully at a passing memory. "You carried me on your back once when I was little, didn't you, Saitou-san?" Through the thick layer of fur she felt him stiffen, his head jerking ever so slightly to dart a sideways look. Letting her touch slip away, she adjusted her small pack and returned to staring at her feet. "You must have only done so because Kenshin asked you to, ne?" There was a long stretch of silence. "I'm sorry… it must have been humiliating for you." _Perhaps that was why he was so ill-tempered when I came back._

Saitou kept pace with her, the tension thick as they walked. It was several minutes before he spoke, and his tone confused her by being almost apologetic. "I suppose it cannot be helped that you were too young to remember correctly."

Glancing quickly at him in surprise, Kaoru's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Saitou's head shifted a bare inch lower, the only show of his hesitance. "The young lord never asked me to do any such thing. In fact, he knows nothing of it at all. I carried you because I was asked to by another and only because I was told it would be beneficial to the palace residents to bring you up the mountain."

A touch of horror contorted her features, her heartbeat quickening. "You brought me up the mountain?" _But that means…_ "You know about Tomoe-dono?"

Saitou gave her a look that clearly questioned her intelligence. "While everyone else may have been content with letting that stripling lord keep the knowledge of our transformation a secret, I was not. Anything that concerns my family concerns me and I was not about to do nothing in the face of their torment."

The fierce loyalty he felt towards his family briefly tugged at her dying heartstrings, and she smiled. "Yes. You do not seem the type to wait for another to solve everything. Thank you." Smile faltering, she swallowed and directed her gaze straight ahead. "I am happy you told me this, Saitou-san. Now I can reassure you that your efforts have paid off. By bringing me to the palace thirteen years ago, and taking me home now, you have been a great instrument in breaking the curse placed upon you and your family."

Abruptly the large wolf dead-stopped, and when she turned his look was far from happy with the knowledge. "You will explain, my lady, just what you mean by that statement."

Confused by his sudden aggravation, Kaoru questioned him carefully. "Have you not spoken with Tomoe-dono about the curse? You brought me up the mountain at her request, so surely you must have some idea of what is going on."

"Yes, woman, I know of the curse." Impatient, Saitou stepped closer, his dark yellow eyes piercing. "What has not been explained to me is how you leaving will end its reign. I was asked only to find a child that would feel no fear of our appearance, one that would eventually gain the love of the young lord. Why are you now required to leave?"

Kaoru paused, a frown puckering her forehead. "If you were not told, Saitou-san, then perhaps I should not explain."

"If I was used by the witch then I will know to what end!" A low grow vibrated his throat, his annoyance darkening to anger in a flash, and Kaoru felt suddenly threatened and vulnerable. Kenshin's anger was just as fierce, but Kenshin would never hurt her, she was not so sure of the wolf. A dull twinge jerked her gut at the thought of the palace lord, and she closed her eyes, the pain of their separation much more potent than her fear of the wolf.

"You were all placed under a curse that was cast for the sake of revenge, Saitou-san. If it is to be broken, its original intent must first be fulfilled." A slight quiver settled into her words, giving away her grief. "On this very day I have done what was needed. When Kenshin wakes up… he will discover that I have left him. This should… be enough to set everyone free." Steadying her breath, her stomach rolling, she bit her lip, but there were no tears to fight. Kaoru's eyes were so dry it hurt.

"So you had to break his heart."

"Yes."

The wolf growled again, though it was less threatening and more irritated. "Idiotic woman! You have thought none of this through, have you?"

Indignant, Kaoru's temper sparked, her emotional and physical exhaustion testing her limits. "Of course I have!"

"Then think on this, little girl, do you truly believe any of us will be happy with this decision?" Pinning her with a glare, he looked even more menacing than usual. "If my family's happiness is only achieved through the sacrifice of my master's happiness, through the sacrifice of a woman's happiness that has nothing to do with our cursed palace, then that happiness will forever be bitter and tainted."

"I don't under…"

"We are here, my lady. I will take my leave." Nodding his head shortly, Saitou pivoted back and began his ascent of the mountain without delay. "I hope you are able to live with your choice of abandonment for the rest of your life."

Though his words had confused and wounded her, Kaoru's resolve would not be swayed. She was here and she was not turning back now. Whatever unhappiness that was felt by her departure would undoubtedly be forgotten over time. They would all rejoice in their human forms, and she would feel grateful for her chance to help so many wonderful people. _Forgive me, Saitou-san, but I think one day you will thank me._ Bowing her head after the retreating wolf, she called a grateful farewell. "I will never forget any of you, or your kindness!" Silence answered her, and when she lifted her head, he was already gone.

Through the last few trees Kaoru could see the small house she had lived most of her life in. It was just as she remembered, and she was briefly warmed by the sight. It was no longer her home, but it still produced enough comfort for her abused heart to bring her relief of some fashion. Trudging silently through the half-lit yard, she climbed the steps and ghosted her way down the familiar walkway to her small bedroom. Inside was untouched, just as she had left it, and she smiled sadly at its shabbier appearance in comparison to her rooms at the palace. It did not matter, however, she did not deserve anything as beautiful or fancy anymore. Kaoru was now a wandering soul, a vagabond with no home, the less she had the better.

Patting open her dusty futon, she slipped into her threadbare yukata, dropping the training clothes she had been wearing on the floor carelessly. Settled heavily in the middle of her bedding, she stared numbly at her small pack, still stuffed with her meager possessions. One small prize had been tucked carefully away within that pack. One small object she had allowed herself to take from the palace; an item that did not truly belong to her. She had been unable to part with it, and had reasoned it a fair exchange for the necklace she had been forced to give up. Allowing herself only a moment of thought, she reached into the open bag and dug the precious article out.

It was too warm to wear much to bed, but that did not deter Kaoru from slipping the large haori over her yukata and wrapping it around her body tightly. It held no lingering scent of anything but jasmine, no leftover warmth to heat her chilled heart, but the fabric was heavy around her shoulders and arms, resting against her like his tight embrace. Kenshin had given this haori to her, and after careful questioning she had learned that it was an article of clothing that had always belonged to him and not his father at some point. In fact, he had seemed a bit offended with the notion of her wearing anything that had belonged to his father. Perhaps simple male possessiveness had birthed this thought. She was his and no other man's clothing would ever cover her body.

A small, sad smile tugged at her lips, and she lay down on the thin cushion of her bed. Wrapped securely in his clothes, she fell blessedly into unconsciousness within moments of closing her eyes.

Just outside of the Kamiya Dojo, hidden within the trees, the two guards left there by Enishi were arguing amongst themselves. One of them needed to run and inform the boss. The little girl he had been searching for had returned home. Runner decided the smaller of the two took off at a sprint up the mountain towards their main camp. From there a hawk would be sent to their leader, and he would be more than pleased with the news.

X

Kenshin fought against the dream plaguing his mind, struggling to free himself from sleep to wake to the real world where the fear and pain would slowly disappear. A world where Kaoru would wrap her arms around him and whisper words of love and comfort to ease his suffering heart. _"I don't belong here."_ A low moan of grief forced its way through his lips. _"I don't belong with you."_

_Stop it. You don't mean that._

"… _I never really loved you. I just felt sorry for you."_ Body twitching restlessly, his eyes clenched shut harder, his brow furrowing deeply. _No. I don't believe you._ As the nightmare began to blur, her words overlapped, bombarding him from all sides, filling his ears with words he tried to block out.

"…_you threatened my father."_

"_I only pretended to make you happy."_

"_I'll never forgive you."_

"_You lied to me!"_

_Stop._

"_I told you…"_

"_You can't."_

"_I had no other choice."_

_Please stop!_

"_What if… I can't stand you?"_

_Stop lying! I won't believe it!_

"_Please… please remember…"_

It was a rough transition into wakefulness, his muscles uncoiling hard enough to throw him onto his hands and knees. Wings spreading wide, he knocked over the small table sitting next to him, throwing it and its contents onto the floor. Breathing hard, eyes wide, he felt unnaturally cold despite the warmth of his room. Trembling, his first thought jumped for Kaoru, needing reassurance in the face of his most recent, and most disturbing, nightmare. The words she always spoke, the gentle gestures she used to communicate her love; it would take so little…

The day before crashed down on him and the nightmare he had only just freed himself from plunged him into grief. Kaoru would no longer show him those feelings, because Kaoru…

_No. I don't know what is going on, but it can't be true. None of it is true._ Anger took swift possession of his mind, tossing aside his doubt and fear. _I will not allow this to continue._ Standing tensely, he marched to the door. _I will make her tell me. I will make her understand._

Emotionally raw and sensitive, unable to handle the bombardment of so many unknown reactions and feelings, he slammed open his door and stalked his way down the hall. Swift and decisive he crossed the small section of veranda to Kaoru's pavilion, his actions just as short upon opening her door. A small squeak announced the presence of Kaoru's personal maid, the weasel, his entrance frightening the woman into cowering against the far wall of the outer hallway.

"M-my lord…"

Ignoring her, he seized the inner shoji and threw it open, uncaring of his abruptness, uncaring of how his lady would react. Because she was _his_ lady, and he would tolerate her indecisiveness no longer. How dare she act so fickle with her feelings now. How dare she confuse him. After everything she had done, after all that she had said, all the love she had convinced him of. What right did she have to change her mind now? He would not allow it.

With one foot already solid on the raised flooring of her rooms he stopped, his wide violet eyes searching the empty interior blindly. The futon was folded neatly, the lamp was dark and cold, and the only hint that she had ever been there was the lingering scent of jasmine in the air. The woman was already up and about. _Fine. I will meet her at breakfast._

"The lady's already up?" Misao's voice was shocked where he was irritated. "I can't believe I missed her. She never gets up this early unless she is with you, milord."

"Well she is not!" The obvious observation shot from his mouth like an angry spit from a cat. Turning on his heel, he stomped back out, his destination now the dining hall. The sooner he relieved himself of these irritations the sooner his heart would stop its painful compressions in his chest. The sooner this misunderstanding was cleared up, the sooner he could rest his head in her lap and forget it had ever happened.

Muttering impatiently under his breath, his wings flexing and twitching in annoyance, he walked the veranda in long, ground-eating strides. Arriving at the dining hall with a much winded Misao trailing along behind him, he slammed open its shoji hard enough to jar it from the track. One of the young kitchen aides was within, wiping off the table in preparation, but there was still no sign of Kaoru. Reacting much like the weasel had, the small snow monkey yelped and ducked partially behind the strong wood of the tabletop. When the master did nothing more than stand there and glare, she was obliged to question him softly.

"I-is there something wrong, my lord?"

"_My_ lady. Have you seen her?"

"The lady?" Confused and slow to understand, she crouched down further when a low growl accompanied the glare. "No, my lord. I have not seen the young lady since yesterday."

Glancing over his shoulder without giving a reply, he demanded the weasel's attention. "You. Check the bathhouse. I will check elsewhere."

"Yes, milord."

He doubted she would be bathing this early in the morning, but there was a small blossom of desperation fighting for dominance within him. He killed it quickly, his need to find her and end their estrangement fierce enough to overrule all other logic. He did not care where she was or what she was doing; he would feel no sympathy nor show any mercy. By whatever means necessary he would bring her back to his side and bind her there; he would rule out nothing in his search.

The training hall was empty, as were the gardens, the gazebo, the open pond pavilions, he even made a quick flight to the Saitou residence to see if she had visited the children there. All were barren of her presence. By midmorning he had woken the entire palace and organized a search party, his unwillingness to feel desperation molding it into a different, darker feeling that paralleled the urgency it brought but left no room for fear, only hard anger. In fact, he was beginning to think that she had better be in some type of trouble or he would punish her severely for disappearing without telling anyone to where.

There was only one place left for him to look within the palace before he began looking outside, and as everyone searched, their calls echoing through the air over and over again, Kenshin made his way to the shrine. His patience was at its limit, and a quick look was all he was going to offer the interior before taking flight and heading for the cherry grove they had once spent an afternoon in together. Jerking the door open, he popped his head inside without fully entering and searched the empty walkway around the almost dead tree. Briefly his eyes were drawn to the lone petal, limp and nearly lifeless, flickering with feeble life. His time was almost gone.

When was the last time he had given the curse a second thought? He had grumbled about his appearance, hoping Kaoru could love him despite it, but no real thought had crossed his mind as to how much time he had left before the curse remained forever. It seemed it was much shorter than he had expected. The sudden knowledge made his stomach lurch. He still wasn't even sure how to go about breaking it, and here it was almost too late. _It is too late. I have condemned everyone in my negligence… and now I am on the verge of losing Kaoru as well._

Kaoru… she had once spoken of asking about the curse. What had ever happened with that, he wondered. Did she ever ask? If so, why had she not told him? Perhaps, she never really cared enough to ask.

Feeling sick with the twisted emotion still churning within him, his mind returned to his current situation. If it was too late for the curse, then he would not lose her, too. He could not afford to. Just as he could not afford to let his own plight distract him from finding her.

"Leaving so soon, Lord Himura? You did not even properly greet me." Appearing without warning, the sorceress did not face him proudly like usual, but sat with her back to him on the edge of the veranda. "You have never been rude. Please do not start now."

"I have no time for propriety. You will have to forgive me, though I care not either way." Straightening himself, he slid the shoji half-shut between them. "I was only looking for my lady."

"Can you not find her?" There was a sad note in her voice, but as Kenshin frowned in suspicion, she turned her placid expression in his direction and contradicted the emotion. "Perhaps she left you, Lord Himura." Kenshin swallowed, the action difficult as this woman spoke so easily what he had been denying for several hours. Shrugging her shoulders she returned her attention to the dying cherry tree, her voice cool and calm. "It would come as no surprise if she did. It was quite apparent to me how she felt about you. Ah… if you find that she has indeed left, Lord Himura, would you be so kind as to return the petal to me? The one the young girl wore as a necklace. I must have that petal back soon, and I am sure she would have left it, if she were indeed gone."

The tangle of grief, fear, and desperation battling in his heart surged to the surface, only to be beaten down by the fury he felt towards this sorceress. She spoke as if she knew everything. The old woman knew nothing. "Kaoru-dono would not have left me! So do not speak as if you know her! You will get nothing from either of us, witch! Nothing at all!" The door crashed shut and the lord took two steps off the porch and was in the air. He was running from her words, running from her truth, but a part of him fought stubbornly against it. A part of him would never believe it.

By noon there was still no sign of her, but another presence that had been missing and unnoticed did suddenly appear at the gate. A very harassed Sano delivered the vagrant man to the master who looked as if he were ready to fall apart at a moment's notice. Composure a brittle thread of safety between him and his subjects, Kenshin confronted the wolf with barely contained vehemence. "What have you been doing? Your assistance is needed here."

Dark yellow eyes scanning the chaos surrounding them, Saitou sniffed. "Forgive me, my lord, I am not aware of what is happening, but I had an important task to take care of."

"My lady has gone missing, Saitou. There is nothing more important than she."

"Indeed. Which is why I insisted on escorting her back to her father's house when I found her bumbling through the woods alone very early this morning."

"You escorted her… back to her father?" Everything around him seemed to still, and it took him a moment to realize it was only because a deafening roar had filled his ears and he had stopped trying to breathe. Kaoru was back with her father…

Looking rather ill-tempered himself, Saitou shrugged with a grunt. "It was where the lady wished to go. If I had left her alone, she would have more than likely tripped and killed herself in the dark. Now, at least, I may be free of her with a clear conscience."

An unwilling witness to this curt conversation, Sano stared at the wolf then at his master. The latter was now completely on the verge of falling into something Sano did not wish to see. Unspeaking, unmoving, unseeing, his still violet eyes were so unfocused he looked like a man already dead. After several hours of constant tension and denial, it seemed he was unable to fight anymore. Not in a battle he was unused to. Rounding on the wolf, the large dog did what his master apparently could not.

"You just let her go? Why didn't you stop her?"

"The lady's mind was clearly made up. Who am I to try and stop her?" Curling up his lip at the dog, Saitou growled. "I did only what was required by my position. I kept her safe until she was no longer a concern of this palace."

"A concern? How dare you speak of the lady in such a way! She belongs here with our master! She would not just leave with no reason! Did you think to question her? Perhaps there was a misunderstanding!"

Growl turning to a loud snarl, Saitou's own anger snapped and he chomped his teeth at the dog, making him jerk back. "Stop your delusions, you stupid mutt! That little girl doesn't care about any one of us! She made that perfectly clear to me! She is a heartless, selfish, and stupid brat that didn't give one thought to the feelings of those she has left behind! Not you, not me, and certainly not our master!" Huffing decisively out his nose, the wolf ducked his head sharply at the still frozen form of the palace lord and walked away, his teeth snapping one last time at a random servant running past. "Stop your foolish searching! The lady does not wish to be found!"

Shocked by the uncharacteristic outburst, Sano stared a moment after the hunched form of the wolf before shaking his head. "That stupid wolf doesn't know what he's talking about. The lady wouldn't just leave." Looking up at his master, his features turned determined. "At least we know where she is now. You should go quickly and bring her back."

Red lashes lowered over amethyst eyes and the lord looked suddenly very tired, and very defeated. When his eyes opened again, disgust was the most prominent emotion. "Call off the search, Sanosuke. Send everyone back to their duties. You as well." A step forward placed the dog at his back.

"And you? You're going, right?"

The master's back tensed. "_Perhaps she left you…"_

"I am going to my rooms where I am not to be disturbed."

"You're giving up! Just like that!" Incredulous, Sano dogged the master's steps, his voice indignant. "What the hell have we been doing these last eight hours? If you didn't care about the little lady than why did you put on such a huge show?"

"Stop speaking as if you know anything, Sanosuke! You heard the wolf! It is she who does not care!" _She lied. All of it was a lie. _Eyes closing, every hurting emotion his rage and denial had kept in check ran rampant through his heart. _And everything she said to me yesterday was the truth. She does not love me. No one could ever love me!_

"You're going to take his word for it?" Stopping, Sano watched as the master slapped his way through the tsumado leading into his pavilion. Angered, the dog barked loudly after him. "If she were **my **woman I would demand the truth from her myself!"

Fists clenching, Kenshin ignored the outburst, too overwhelmed to listen to what was being said. Kaoru was gone; she had left, without saying a word. He didn't need to ask her to know the truth. If she had cared about him, she would have done none of these things. He loved her so much and she…

Frozen within the doorway to his inner room, trying to even his breathing, he stared blankly at the floor, the small table still lying sad and overturned by the wall. It was shaded within the pavilion, a stark contrast to the bright light of midday outside. Eyes adjusting slowly to the dark, he squinted as something vivid and pink shot a reflection of light into his pupil. Turning to the source, the breath he had only just caught seized in his throat, his jaw shaking and muscles trembling. Scrambling ungracefully into the room, he unearthed the necklace from its hiding spot under the table, a small drawer handle the only thing keeping the solid wooden weight from crushing its delicate glass. Holding the brilliantly glowing trinket up to his face, his nightmare came back again, swift, fierce, and unrelenting. Any moment he expected its magic to work. Any moment his appearance would change and he would be free of the curse. Any moment… because she was gone… because Kaoru had left… and he would trade one curse for another…

Nothing happened, and frustration and disappointment joined his heartbreak. Crying out in anger, he kicked at the small table for hiding the precious necklace, the light piece of furniture flying across the room to burst through thin rice paper and ricochet off the outer wall. The rest of the delicate decorations followed suit, their beautiful majesty breaking, tearing, or cracking under the wrath of his tantrum.

"…_would you be so kind as to return the petal to me? …I am sure she would have left it, if she were indeed gone."_

Finally left with nothing else but the necklace in his hand, he eyed the torturous object with hatred. It too had betrayed him. It too would be punished. Arm rearing back to fling the offending bauble away, his heart gave a wrenching spasm of regret a moment too late. The small glass petal so carefully wrapped in wire left the palm of his hand and he watched it glow brightly as if crying out for help. Wanting, wishing he could take it back, he cried out too, his reaction much too slow to save it from its fate now. Already grieving its loss, he closed his eyes so he would not have to watch the precious gift he had made for the woman he loved shatter.

A second later and the silver chain caught and snagged on his fingers. Momentum abruptly halted, the light weight of the petal swayed back to slap against his hand and then swing a lazy rhythm until stilling in midair. Red lashes parting slowly, he stared at the unharmed necklace, its beautiful form wrapped lovingly around his hand as if unwilling to let him go.

"_I love this necklace you made me, Kenshin. Otherwise… I would not wear it all the time, ne?"_

Emotions raw, will crushed, the passing memory brought a new feeling he had not experienced in so long he nearly did not recognize it. It burned his eyes, his throat constricted, and instinctively his lashes clenched shut to fight the outcome. Dropping to his knees on the floor, he pressed the fist holding the glowing petal to his forehead, his body doubling over in aching, never-ending pain. "Don't do this to me. Please. _Please_."

X

Hateful light penetrated the darkness hiding Kaoru from her reality, dragging her up from unconsciousness and into the spiteful world that held no mercy for love or little girls that dreamed of owning such a fanciful thing. Blinking open her eyes heavily, she stared at the ceiling of her room, blankly at first then with dawning recognition as she realized that this place was not her home. This was her father's house, a place far from Kenshin, his arms, and his love. Emptiness filled the void of his absence, and Kaoru found no reason to change it. Emptiness would keep her strong enough to do what had to be done.

Sitting up, standing, undressing, her actions were wooden, automatic like those of a puppet. Donning once more the dirty training clothes she had worn down the mountain, she carefully folded and stuffed her yukata into the small pack. The thick haori she held to her chest briefly pulled from her dazed stupor by its warmth. A part of her knew that it was only a heat stolen from her own body, but in her mind she imagined it to be his. A moment later and her shoulders sagged. Imagining only brought about a longing for the real man, because he would not be soft like the clothing. His arms would be firm against her back, his chest solid as she leaned into his embrace, his shoulders square as she rested her own arms around his neck. To imagine, to remember, hurt too much. It would be something she would have to avoid, or a weakness might overtake her and send her back to where she could never return.

Stowing away the large overcoat, she steadied herself, the numbness flooding back as she remembered the events of yesterday and that morning. Standing there an abrupt understanding made her blink. She had accomplished all that was required of her. What was she to do now? Her entire life was unnecessary. _I… I will let Father decide. Yes, I no longer care what happens, but I must not let Father know what I have done or what I have decided. I will be his successor now. That should make him happy._

Exiting her room, a quick glance at the sky showed it to be a little after midday. They would have already eaten lunch. Kaoru was not particularly hungry, but after the stressful day she had endured yesterday, and missing breakfast this morning, she knew her body would need fed soon. It was only natural that no one had noticed her arrival, since she had not announced it, and so they would not have thought to wake her up or save her anything either. Heading for the training hall, the most likely spot for her father and the new boys to be, she walked in a daze toward the open door, the summer heat sapping her already weakened body.

Pausing in confusion, she heard the clack and rattle of wood slapping together, their heated shouts announcing their exertions. They were working hard, training themselves to be strong, confidant, and honorable. _I will do this too. The work will keep me occupied._ A step in front of the door and the noise stopped, all eyes turning to her in question. When she was not greeted, she frowned, and then stepped forward into the shadow of the dojo, the sunlight behind her easing up enough to reveal her identity.

"Aijou?" The sharp clatter of the practice sword in his hands hit the floor and her father was jogging towards her, his arms enfolding her in a tight embrace. Feeling like a weak little girl in her father's arms, she trembled for only a second, wanting so much to be comforted.

"Father." Her voice was choked, and she cursed her weakness. She did not want to share what she had done. Not with anyone.

"What are you doing here, aijou? Did something happen?" Glancing over his shoulder, as if just remembering his other students, Koshijirou wondered if he shouldn't take Kaoru elsewhere and make her explain. After all, they thought she was married and living happily with her husband. For her to show up here now, like this…

"Am I not allowed to be here, Father?" Laughing, though it was not a normal sound, she smiled up at him. The smile on her face was not normal either. "Nothing happened. I just… have come back. Do you not want me to be here?"

Frowning down at her, Koshijirou studied the dull blue of her irises, his head shaking slowly. "Of course I want you to be here, Kaoru. You are always welcome in this house." Brushing dirty bangs off of her forehead, his frown deepened in worry. "Are you sure there is nothing wrong?" Lowering his voice, he made sure the three curious boys could not hear. "Did the lord do something to you?"

Laughing again, louder this time, she waved a hand in the air. "Don't be silly, Father. I just realized that my place is here." Looking over his shoulder, she smiled at their audience, three pairs of black eyes staring at their reunion. "Why don't you introduce me to your new disciples, Father? I would really like to meet them."

Koshijirou was not completely convinced, but his daughter did seem to be fine. Deciding to let it slide for now, his eyes searched the tree line intently before he turned to introduce her to the boys. It frightened him that she had walked back down the mountain without a clear understanding of the situation here. Luck only had kept her from running into the prowling dogs keeping a close watch on him. If she had fallen into their hands she would already be within Enishi's dirty grasp.

The boys were all delighted, if not a little confused, to meet her. Ren the most so. His black eyes shone with blatant infatuation as he stared at the beauty Kaoru had become. It was true what he had told her on his last visit. Every day she was beginning to look more and more like her mother. It was both painful and a source of pride.

"I am most pleased to meet you three. Thank you so much for taking care of my father while I have been away." She bowed low, and all three of the boys looked at each other. It was easy to guess why, but Koshijirou knew it was only natural. After spending so much time with the archaic palace lord she was bound to pick up a few of his habits. Her speech and mannerisms were much more polite now than before. "If you do not mind, I would like to speak with my father in private."

Koshijirou snapped out of his daze, and nodded his head in agreement. "You three, keep practicing. I will be back after awhile to check your progress." The boys agreed loudly and returned to their training, while Koshijirou followed Kaoru out of the hall and back to the house. Glancing over the tree line a second time, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her into the kitchen.

"Are you hungry, aijou?"

Smiling that fake smile, she nodded too eagerly. "Yes I am, Father. I was hoping you would be willing to make me something. Leftovers will do, if you have any."

"Leftovers?" Amused, he shook his head. "Not with three growing boys in the house. Leftovers are a rare thing, Kaoru."

"Ah, then something simple, if you will." The statement was offhand, and he could see how she had gotten used to asking in a way that was not really asking. The lord certainly had rubbed off on her. The environment she had lived in probably had helped as well.

"So you are certain nothing has happened?" Casual as he prepared a quick dish, Koshijirou watched for his daughter's reaction out of the corner of his eye. Dull blue eyes staring off into space slowly fell to the floor.

"I am certain, Father. Nothing was done to me. I am healthy, unharmed, and have not been spoken ill to. I am here because this is where I belong." The absence of sorrow, anger, or joy told him that she was not fully telling him the truth, but he would not pry. For now. Whatever was bothering her was still too fresh to poke at. He would wait until she was ready to talk. Not a second after the decision was made in his mind she was glancing up with forced enthusiasm. "Oh, Father, I was thinking that perhaps we could visit Shinsaki. I have never been there, and I thought it might be wonderful to get to see the place where Mother grew up. Plus, the boys are about due for a visit home, don't you think?"

Calm and composed, Koshijirou nodded thoughtfully. "That sounds like a good idea, aijou. I have always wanted to take you there sometime so that you may meet your mother's family." _It may also be good to get her away from this house, since I am sure those filthy spies outside have already noticed Kaoru's presence and informed that no good brat. This village will offer us no protection because of Kaoru and who Enishi is. If we were to make it to Shinsaki, they would protect us._

"Great! I'll eat real quick and help you pack!"

Lifting an eyebrow, Koshijirou studied his daughter skeptically. "Just when did you plan on leaving?"

"This afternoon would be good. I mean, we can make some fair ground before nightfall if we leave within the hour."

"Kaoru… a trip like this requires some preparation. We cannot just leave without any supplies."

"We can hunt along the way. Come on, Father, it's not like we have to worry about snow. We can take all the time we want going there, and stay as long as we want, too."

Sighing, he could see her patience hadn't improved any. She was still very spontaneous. "If you are that eager to leave then we can make it tomorrow and not earlier." Kaoru's mouth opened, a touch of desperation curling her features, but he spoke over her. "Do not argue. You may help me pack after you eat, like you said, but I will have to send the boy's into town for a few things, and by the time they get back it will be too late to leave. We will go first thing in the morning."

Letting out an unsteady breath, Kaoru cast her own tentative glance out the open door, and it made her father wonder just what she was running away from. "Alright, Father. First thing in the morning."

X

Enishi untied the small note attached to the second hawk to reach him within twenty-four hours. Already turned around and on his way back to the Kamiya Dojo, he was surprised to read that his prize and her worthless father were actually heading in his direction now. _Thinking to visit family, eh? Like that will help you keep her from me._ Grinning, he read the rest of the message, savoring the knowledge that soon he would have what he wanted, and he would take great pleasure in making sure she knew it as well. It seemed they were taking a wide route around the palace. Laughing softly, he wondered if that stupid old man of hers still believed there was actually something scary living in that place. Enishi himself was leery, but he was confident enough now to think himself strong enough to conquer whatever got in his way. Some bloodthirsty beast wouldn't give him any trouble.

Crumbling the paper in his hand he tossed it away from him, correcting his path as he walked. One of the men was still following her, keeping track of her progress; the other was with the rest of his men. Upon his orders, they would be meeting up with him after he had obtained the girl. It was then and only then that he was going to allow them to raid the village by the coast. Kaoru was all the spoils he wanted. The rest he left to them.

X

A/N: Everything is starting to draw closer together, and I realize I may be setting myself up for something very bad. I hope no one will be disappointed in how things will proceed from here. I do realize that this chapter had a few holes in it, but the next chapter will hopefully balance out any confusion you have about their actions. I wanted Kaoru to be as monotone as possible in this chapter, and I kind of made her into a regular liar, but I suppose one lie leads to more… It is a hard lesson she will learn. Kenshin, on the other hand, was a fountain of rocking emotion. I know everyone really expected him to be upset when he woke, since I left him acting rather vulnerable the night before. But, I think, situations hurt more after the fact. At least for me. Whenever I have enough time to think about something, it usually starts to either piss me off or upset me in some fashion more than when it was actually going on. So, that's my reason. Of course, after such a rush of anger, it's only natural to crash, like coming off a sugar high. But he hasn't cried even though he was very close. I wanted to make that very clear. Neither of them has…

Alright, so I haven't given anyone much reason to like me… but I still hope everyone will continue to support me! Please! And please, please read the next chapter when I post it, no matter how much you have hated these last two. So please leave me a review, and in the next chapter… Kenshin sleeps in Kaoru's rooms, Koshijirou pushes his daughter for info, and Enishi gets the surprise of his life! See you soon!


	39. Devotion

I'm starting to notice that I really like "d" words. What's up with that?

Disclaimer: Please don't accuse me of stealing. I am merely borrowing for my own pleasure. I gain nothing but satisfaction.

**Chapter 39: Devotion**

The voices had finally calmed. Whether it was the aroma floating in the air, the cushion separating him from the floor, or the comforting glow of the necklace just inches from his face, Kenshin didn't care, as long as the voices stopped their incessant whispering. Worn and emotionally exhausted, he ghosted his fingers carefully over the warm surface of the single, glass petal, his dark violet eyes watching the movement listlessly. Petting the wires, pushing the light bauble around and around in small circles on the futon bedding, letting the silver chain slip through his fingers over and over again, he found solace in the reality of its presence. Kaoru had touched this object, had worn it safely underneath her clothing, against her skin. It still radiated her heat. That meant that Kaoru herself had not been a dream. Kaoru had been there, in that very room, had slept in the same bed he was now lying on.

Stretched full-length on his belly, his head pillowed flat on the bedding, his wings spanned the entire width of Kaoru's room, touching and connecting both walls. It was dark, because it was nighttime, only the soft blush of pink from the necklace illuminating the red skin of his hand. Though tired and already droopy from the last two days of arguing with the voices, the atmosphere within her room relaxed him further. It was the scent of jasmine curling around his heart and mind, its beautiful fragrance pushing away his troubles and drugging him into complacency. The futon he rested upon was saturated with the smell, and as heavy eyes flickered close, he turned his nose into the mattress and could almost feel the soft threads of her hair.

"… _please remember…"_

Face contorting in agony; he shook his head, desperate to keep the tormenting voices at bay. _I don't want to._

"_Please…"_

_Just leave me alone._

Reluctantly the echo receded, and the palace master sighed in relief. Fluttering open his eyes, he began petting the necklace again. Its glow brightened with each gentle stroke of his finger, and he watched the ebb and rise of light with fascination. He had noticed similar occurrences before, when Kaoru had still been wearing it. At certain times its bright light would intensify, shining fiercely, rivaling her own beautiful glow. Was it affected by emotion, he wondered. Did it react to warmth alone, or was the magic within it attracted to something deeper, something incomprehensible to him? It certainly was very mesmerizing, and somehow, even lost in the depths of despair, just touching its smooth surface made him feel… happy.

An unconscious smile had tilted his lips just barely enough to show joy in his moment of contemplation. Feeling his stiff muscles protest the expression, recognizing the traitorous response, he let the smile slowly slide off. What was left for him to feel happy about? Kaoru was gone, and she was not going to return. All that he now had, all that he had gained, all had come about because of her. Swooping in, fierce and pure, she had changed his entire life, had forced him to reevaluate his actions and thoughts. She had taught him how to live, how to love… but something had gone wrong. Perhaps he had expected too much. Perhaps he had only imagined her love.

"_I never really loved you Kenshin."_

A sharp spasm speared his heart, forcing his eyes shut, his hand flattening over the necklace. One of the wicked voices had returned. _How can that be? You told me you did. So many times you told me you did._

"_I only pretended to keep you happy."_

_That was not fake. I will not believe that it was fake. I can't because… because my heart cannot give up on you. I have lived fake before… I have lived it, and you were not it._

"_Really? You know so little of feminine wiles."_

Fumbling, his breathing quickened as he was unsure how to argue. Feeling as if he were going mad, afraid he already had, he opened his eyes to focus on the necklace once more; needing release from the uncertainty.

"_Who could ever love you?"_

Whimpering, he fisted his fingers, enclosing the fragile petal in the palm of his hand. Bringing it closer, the silver chain tangled around his knuckles, he pressed his fingers against his eye, peeking secretively within the confined space. Pulsating, searing with heat, its brilliance almost hurt to look upon, but it was a different pain, a better pain. It was welcoming.

The voices and world receded… and suddenly he was flying.

_Gliding along lazily through the clear summer sky, the wind was gentle against his face, playing tenderly with his wings. Smiling, he banked right, aiming for a particular mountain, a surge of excitement and impatience lighting his bright amethyst irises. Against his shoulder a feminine giggle alerted him to her pleasure, and he glanced over into sapphire eyes, his smile widening when she planted a happy kiss on his cheek._

"_What was that for, my lady?"_

_Grinning, she shrugged. "Because you looked so adorable I was forced to. Really Kenshin, don't you know the rules?"_

"_Rules. I see." Eyeing her, his own smile turned up mysteriously. "But Kaoru-dono, this rule is not very practical or safe." Dropping his lips to her exposed neck, he explained in a carefully schooled voice. "According to this edict, I would have to kiss you every moment of the day, and I'm sure that might become rather improper."_

"_Ah. But that is why you are also allowed to save up kisses for later, and dispense them at your own discretion."_

_Laughing, Kenshin twisted them up and over and threw them into a dive. "I suspect you are making these rules up as you go, my lady!"_

_They landed on a small, reasonably flat clearing overlooking the ocean. It was quite a ways away from the palace, far enough down the coast to be a good distance from all civilization. Pulling herself away from him, Kaoru's grin matched his. "I'm found out. I just wanted an excuse to kiss you whenever I wanted." Pouting, she stepped out of his reach. "Since you know I guess I'll have to behave."_

_Grabbing her hand before she could turn away, he brought her fingers to his lips. "You shouldn't pout, my lady. It looks more like a very tempting offer than a show of petulance. I am trying to behave as well."_

_The pout disappeared and it was her turn to eye him speculatively. "You will have to forgive me, Lord Himura." Bowing slowly at the waist, she didn't even try to hide her smirk as she looked up at him through her bangs. "But I cannot be conscious of every little movement I make. I as well have temptations to worry over. You will have to deal with your own."_

_Amethyst eyes had darkened to a deep violet, and he tugged on their still joined hands to bring them back together. "If you were aiming for a kiss, Kaoru-dono, the teasing was quite unnecessary."_

"_But I was having fun." Another pout and he was unable to resist. Against his lips he could feel her foolish smile, their joined hands caught between their bodies. She was willing and eager and he could never get enough of her taste. It was like heaven and it was like torture and he wished it would last forever._

_They stayed there all afternoon, listening to the wind, the distant susurrations of the ocean, and the love in each other's voices as they spoke. With his head pillowed in her lap he felt content, and he was aware of dozing off a couple of times, always waking to the gentle tug of her fingers in his hair. The smile she graced him with was full of adoration, her blue eyes warm and lazy, and there was not one reason for him to believe that she was uncomfortable with their situation. Not once did he question the words of love she spoke to him._

"_Kenshin… I…"_

Blinking dazedly Kenshin pulled his hand away from his face, the glow of the petal soft and gentle once more. The memory clung to him, reminding him of a wonderful day of happiness and innocent pleasure. That day she was still beside him and within his reach… that day they had learned the limit of their boundaries. Trembling now, an unreasonable wish blossomed into life within his heart. If he had only ignored the boundaries, if he had only forgotten propriety and lost himself inside the embrace of her arms, he would have obtained every right to make her stay. She would have been unable to argue with him, and she would have been unable to sneak away. Not while trapped in the cage of his grasp while they slept side-by-side until the very end of eternity.

The necklace flashed, almost angrily, and Kenshin frowned, his thoughts pulling themselves away from delusional daydreams and useless wishes. What did any of that matter now? Even if he had done something as reckless and shameful as dishonoring her it would not have changed how she felt.

_I just cannot believe everything that passed between us was an act. Every look, every gesture, every word rang with purity and truth. Even if she had disillusioned herself so well into truly believing her own lie, she would not have been so… perfect._

The necklace was once again glowing happily, expanding its luminance under his affectionate caress.

_In my heart I do not believe what has happened. It tells me that it is surely only another nightmare, one that I will eventually wake from to find that Kaoru is waiting to comfort and soothe me. My heart tells me she would never leave, she would never say that she does not love me, but… my mind knows that it has happened, and so it must be true._

Once again, the soft pink glow burned brighter in urgency.

"_Please, please remember…"_

_No. It hurts._

"_Please…"_

_Why?_

"… _please…"_

…_Remember what?_

The spiteful voices he hated rose up to overwhelm him, as if a flood gate had been opened; as if the pleading one had been holding them at bay. This time, however, his memory was clear, and he remembered why they were wrong.

"_**I could never forgive your past**__."_

Teasing laughter echoed in his ears, a vision of her happy eyes fierce with glee as she threw herself into his chest. _"Learning about your past was something I needed to deal with, yes it was harder because you didn't tell me everything yourself, but I'm not mad at you for how it affected me. I don't like how it affected you." _

"_**This curse is far too lenient**__."_

"_It must have been so awful for you." _The phantom feel of her fingers threaded with his were tight, her lungs trembling with sympathetic grief. _"You had to suffer, all alone, for so long, watching everyone else suffer around you, unable to help them. They're your people and you couldn't help them."_ Tears slid down her cheeks, pained by the thought of his pain._ "You must be in so much pain."_

"_**I don't belong here**__."_

Frowning, this time Kenshin conjured a different set of blue eyes. Ones that held more grey than blue. _"Do you not think she would be happier at her own home, visiting you?"_ Only a few days later, those same blue eyes had looked out at the sunset and spoke in a voice that was touched with only an ounce of regret. _"…she has informed me that she is quite happy here."_

"_**I don't belong with you**__."_

Tears were streaking her pale cheeks, her hands clasped against her chest as she whispered to him in soft confession. _"Nothing's wrong, Kenshin. I'm just… happier than I have ever been in my life."_

"_**I was only pretending to keep you happy**__."_

Fireflies were dancing around her, shooting reflections of green light into her luminous eyes. Starlight shone above them, dim lanterns warming the ambience, and she was wishing for his happiness._ "I just want you to be happy, too, Kenshin. And not just for a brief moment… but from… now on."_

"_**I just felt sorry for you**__."_

Red hair was slapped into his face, her expression flirting and playful. She was listing off what she liked about him, telling him why she enjoyed his company, why her emotions were deeper than anything so shallow._ "My lord, your list of attractive qualities is quite long, so it won't be hard to conjure a few more for your enjoyment."_

"_**Can you… change the way you look**__?"_

The abrupt smack of her palm against the back of his head had shocked him, her lips pursed and blue eyes narrowed. _"Don't be such an idiot. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and I'm not going to deal with you feeling sorry for yourself."_

"_**You are so easily fooled. You know nothing of feminine wiles.**__"_

This time his mind came up blank, and like every time before his argument trembled in danger of falling apart. He did not believe that everything they had shared was fake. He did not believe his memories to be false, but… if his memories were true then that meant all the hateful words she had spoken before leaving were not. Such a conclusion didn't make sense. Why would she spend so long convincing him that she loved him just to tear it all apart within twenty-four hours with a series of horrible lies? Kenshin didn't understand, and the less he understood the feebler his protests became. What would make a woman so pure and innocent lie about her true feelings?

Light began to flicker and sputter randomly from the glass petal still curled in his loose grip, and a wrenching fear widened his eyes. It reminded him so much of the lone petal back at the shrine, its dying form marking the end of everything. "No. No, what's wrong? What did I do?" Struggling to brace himself on his side, his other arm forcing its way free to cup the necklace in both hands, Kenshin brought the delicate bauble and its faltering light close into the hollow of his body. Curving himself around it protectively, he stared down into the bowl his hands created, frightened by each quivering hue of pink. "What do you want me to do?" Voice a hushed whisper of pain, his world narrowed to the small flame of light.

"… _Kenshin… remember…"_

"The truth or the lies? I don't know what you want."

"_Please…"_

"I was lied to. Either way, I was lied to and I don't understand why. I'm not sure I want to understand. It must be… a horrible understanding if it made her run."

"… _Kenshin…"_ There was an almost chiding tone to the ethereal voice, and he was once more a young boy standing before his mother.

"_Kenshin, child… what am I going to do with you?"_

_Mother._

A new memory came to mind, transporting him back to his angry teenage years. He could not show his emotions any longer, the rage he felt caged and building within his heart. One such day a small bubble had escaped him while in his mother's presence.

"_Everyone lies to me. It makes me sick. Not one person in this place will ever speak the entire truth to me." Golden eyes glanced towards his mother, the depths hard and nearly accusing. "Even you lie, Mother. I don't understand it."_

_Soft lilac eyes considered him carefully, her composure always unruffled even in the face of accusation. Setting down her teacup, she folded her hands politely in her lap. "Do you not know why people lie, Kenshin?"_

"_Because they are afraid of the truth?"_

"_Ah, that is a large part of it, but maybe they do not fear it in the way you think. I believe that there are only three real reasons why someone will willingly tell a lie. Only three very simple reasons. One, because it will help them gain something they want. Two, because they are afraid for themselves. And three, because they are protecting something or someone they love." Sad lilac eyes met his squarely when he looked at her again, and she gently smiled. "Do you know why I lie?"_

"… _remember…"_

"_I love you, Kenshin."_ Trembling, Kenshin clenched his eyes shut, seeing in his mind's eye, feeling Kaoru's face pressed into his neck as she clutched at his kimono. The fireflies were dancing again, and she was explaining why she would go through so much trouble just to please him. _"I love you and I want you to be happy."_

"… _please…" _The meager light of the necklace began to strengthen.

"… _I love you so much, and I'm… I'm overwhelmed..."_ Sweet words whispered to him moments before their first kiss.

"… _please remember…"_

"_My crazy Lord Himura… you are just too sweet. I love that about you."_ Gentle, teasing words comforting him after a nightmare.

"_Please, please remember…" _It was much stronger now, the necklace a fighting glow, no longer flickering in danger.

"_Goodnight, Kenshin. I love you."_

"_I love you."_

"_Because I love you, silly."_

"_Don't tease… you know you love me."_

"_Nothing will ever change my mind."_

"_Don't worry, Kenshin. I love you too much to stop now."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you."_

The cacophony swelled like a large ocean wave, reminding him, reassuring him, and telling him everything he needed to know. Between the shelter of his hands the necklace was afire, like a fierce flame warming his heart. It was magic, he knew there was no other explanation, but he also knew that it was Kaoru. It was feeding him these words, reminding him of what he should already know; what his heart was already aware of. Otherwise, he would have believed the lie. From the very beginning he had known that something was off, had known not to give into the despair that wished to take him. Because even though his mind had nearly been corrupted by the test of their love, his heart would not be swayed. He had no reason to doubt Kaoru, just as she had no reason to doubt him.

"_I love you, Kenshin."_ The voice was clearer now, and when his eyes closed it was like a comforting spring breeze. _"Please, please remember that I did and will always love you."_

A frown wrinkled his forehead and the comfort abruptly disappeared. _Kaoru lied to protect me from something even knowing she was going to be hurting herself in the process. _Sitting up straight, the necklace now clutched in one hand, he stared at a far wall blankly, his mind focused inward. _She protected me at the sacrifice of herself and I was not aware._ A small surge of his anger came back, its return pronounced after a long absence._ But just what was she protecting me from?_ Quickly and thoroughly his mind ran back over every detail and word they had traded from the time he had gone to sleep the night she had disappeared to the last time she had acted normal when near him.

"_I have a few things I wish to take care of before evening anyway. I'll see you at supper, okay Kenshin?" _Focused, his eyes widened, because only a few hours later she had entered the dining hall… and stared as if it was the last time she would ever get to see him. _"… I… I was just… admiring the view." _ And hugged him like she never wanted to let go. _"I'm just… so exhausted, Kenshin."_ And kissed him like she wished to drown. The very next day, his nightmare had come to life.

_What happened between the time she left my side in the office to the time we sat down to dinner? Where did she go? What would upset her enough to make her run away?_

The truth came to him like a flash of lightning, and he realized he too had been lying, but to himself and for a much more selfish reason than Kaoru. _"… until the day you understand. When you understand exactly what it means…"_

Standing, Kenshin carefully tucked the necklace inside his kimono and marched to the shoji. Kaoru was in need of a severe scolding. Afterwards, he would have to apologize for taking so long in realizing.

X

Uncomfortable heat radiated outward from the campfire, but the light was welcoming, just as the warm food had been. Staring at the crackling flames, Koshijirou sighed, his grey-blue eyes lifting up and sideways to stare at his daughter's back. She was seated far enough apart from their camp that darkness was beginning to envelope her. It made him nervous for her safety, but he was aware of her wish for solidarity, even if he did not completely understand it. Sighing again, he darted a glance at the boys, their own dark eyes tentative as they shot looks at the female in their group.

"Is… Kaoru-san alright?" Kazuki whispered his worry. "Did something happen between her and her husband or something?"

"Of course something happened, idiot. She wouldn't be acting like that if it were nothing." Haruki glared at his younger brother who returned the look irritably.

"Calm down, Haruki-kun. Your brother was merely concerned." Truth be told, Koshijirou was concerned himself, and he figured it was time to find out what was going on. They were running, both he and his daughter, though from different things. Koshijirou only wished to protect her, but he could not fathom what had forced his daughter to run. As far as he knew, his daughter ran from nothing.

"She shouldn't be away from him." Steel blue eyes swung from the ducked posture of his daughter, over the campfire, and steadied slowly on Ren. Black eyes, reflecting red flames, were watching Kaoru. "If they stay apart…" His voice trailed off, and he blinked then added decisively. "They are stronger together." Haruki hummed in agreement, Kazuki nodding his head as he prodded the fire. An unnatural feeling of apprehension settled into Koshijirou's bones, and he stared at the three boys sitting in a semi-circle before him. What were they talking about? What did they mean? How come they sounded as if they knew more about what was going on than him? At that moment, they seemed suddenly so alien.

"Sensei." Unable to keep himself from jumping, the master gasped in a breath, shocked from his uneasy contemplation.

"Yes, what is it, Ren-kun?"

"If Kaoru-san is upset about something you should try to talk to her about it." The young boy he was used to seeing was back once more, his voice slightly unsure and earnest. It was nothing like the way he had spoken before. "Maybe you can help her."

Frowning at him, his blue eyes intent as he studied each of the boys in turn, Koshijirou nodded his head. "Yeah, I think you're right." Standing to his feet a grimace contorted his face as his sore muscles and aching bones protested. Sometimes it was easy to forget he was getting old. This was not one of those times. "You boys keep an eye out for any… predators. Don't let your guard down."

"Yes, sensei." They chorused in unison as he walked away, and his mind reluctantly slipped from his eerie thoughts of them to his concerned feelings for his only child. Kaoru was not one to let her sorrow show, it would be hard getting her to confess. Especially to him.

As he seated himself next to her he ignored the way she hunched in defense and instead kept his eyes focused forward into the dark woods. Nothing stirred outside their ring of firelight, and the complete stillness brought both comfort and anxiety. Kaoru fidgeted, her weight shifting from side to side. Her legs drew up into her chest, her arms pulling at the folds of the large overcoat she was wearing until it wrapped tight around her slim figure. Letting his attention linger on the article of clothing, he reached over to absently tug on one of the sleeves.

"Is this the same haori you found the day it snowed on the mountain?" His daughter hesitated, her bangs falling in her face before she nodded silently. "It's of much better quality than the one I gave to you. It's very thick. No doubt warm, too." Kaoru's chin tilted away from him to look out through the trees and nodded again. "Ah." Letting his hand slip away, he studied her intently. "Aijou, are you sick?" A frown pulled at her mouth.

"No." Her voice was soft and confused by his question.

"Truly? You would not lie to your old man, would you?"

"Of course not, Father." Finally her eyes looked fully into his. Successfully caught, he struck a blow through her lowered guard.

"Then for what reason have you been wearing that winter coat these past two summer nights if you are not cold?" Her head jerked away, but not before he saw pain contort her features. Unconsciously her fingers clutched the haori tighter and she did not answer. A sad, plummeting sensation in his chest warned him he was near to the problem. Somehow, Koshijirou was already aware that there was only one man who could make her act this way, and that man was not him. "That haori belongs to Lord Kenshin, doesn't it?" Sighing, he looked back out over the darkness. "For you to be holding onto it so desperately tells me you have somewhere else you wish to be. What I don't understand, Kaoru… is what has happened to send you away from there?"

The numbness Kaoru had fought to hold onto was cracking away with the draining of her strength. The pain she did not wish to acknowledge, the heartbreak she wanted to bury was finding those cracks, making her feel weak. How pathetic that only a small questioning would crumble her resolve to stay strong. For two days she had kept up her act, and now that her father was finally demanding answers, she could not handle the pressure. The emotion would no longer be contained.

"You should not deny your heart, aijou. If you wish to be at the palace then you should stay there, with your lord. If you are worried about me then you shouldn't be. The idea does not thrill me, but I have seen enough to know you are well taken care of there, and you are happy, ne? All that I want is for you to be happy, no matter where you are or who you are with. If that means being with that… man, then so be it."

Glancing quickly in her direction to see how she was reacting to his declarations, Koshijirou's words died, his eyes widening as he watched her fight the thick tears that were spilling from her lashes. Her mouth was clenched shut and she was having increasing trouble trying to breathe through her nose. Abruptly torn between worry and anger, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. "Aijou… he hurt you, didn't he? What did he do? Tell me what happened. You said you were fine, and I believed you, but Kaoru if he…"

"No." Fight lost the moment her mouth opened to argue, the gasping breaths tore from her lips. "He didn't hurt me, Daddy. Ihurt _him_." Sobbing as the pain finally surfaced and found an outlet; she pressed her face into her knees and muffled her cries with her arms. "I _hurt _him…" Hiccupping, unable to breathe, she wept the same harsh, bitter tears she had as a child standing beside her mother's grave. It was painful and never-ending, and the misery it filled her with lead straight into hopelessness.

"Kaoru…" It was a shock to see his daughter in such a state, and he did the only thing he could. Hugging her to him he waited for her tears to calm. They only ebbed, however, never truly giving up their hold on her small frame, and he pressed her to see if talking would help. "What did you mean, you hurt him? Tell me what happened, aijou."

"I had to, Daddy. I had to leave. It was the only way." Relieved that she was talking, though her words were disjointed and watery, Koshijirou encouraged her to continue. Halting and soaked with emotions of shame, love, and pain, she told him everything about the curse; about why she wanted to help and why she had left. It was a lot to take in, a lot to understand, and though Koshijirou knew he would never fully comprehend what was going on he was aware of the basics. There was a curse on the palace; any idiot with eyes could tell their existence was not natural. Kaoru meant to break that curse, and to do that this sorceress, the one his wife had spoken of in her stories, meant for Kaoru to leave and abandon the lord to his solitude. He could sympathize with Kaoru's decision, because of the other residents of the palace, but there was something about the situation that did not sit well with him.

"Do you love him, aijou?" Careful of his tone he petted her hair. Her reply was a soft yes. "And does he love you?"

"He… he did before…"

Koshijirou frowned. "Do you doubt that he loved you?"

Kaoru's head came up off her knees, her face a mess of tears. "No." The quivering conviction in her voice made him smile.

"Then Kaoru… how can you think that this will truly make him happy?"

Dropping her head back into her arms, she sniffed and gasped through her tears. "He's lived so long; trapped like that… he deserves to live free again. I promised him I would help… I promised I would do whatever it took. But it's more than that… I want to free him from that curse. I love him so much and I… I can't stand the thought of him suffering anymore."

"You don't think he will suffer now?"

"I know." Sobbing into her knees, she fisted a hand into her hair. "But I had to make a choice, and I couldn't stand the thought of what would happen if I had stayed. I would have aged and died and he… he wouldn't and he'd have to live on afterwards… alone… and…" Sniffing, she wiped her face hard on her sleeves but the tears that had avoided her for two days would not stop now. "It sounds so tormenting and awful. How could I do that to him? I could never be so selfish."

"Kaoru…" Letting out a breath, he braced his heart for the hurtful words he had to say. "What you've done _is _selfish."

"What?" Quivering, her eyes peeked up over her elbow, the look on her face incredulous and wounded.

"You are doing this for him, but do you truly think this is what he would have chosen for himself? If what you say is true and he really would live forever if you had stayed, do you think he would rather send you away and live without you for fifty or sixty years just to die alone? Or do you think he would like to keep you with him and live happily until you go and then continue to live with the wonderful knowledge that he loved and was loved by the woman he gave his heart to?"

"But…"

"Do you think that I am bitter and tormented? I loved your mother from the very first moment I saw her. I waited ten years to marry her, and I can only claim six years of her life as mine. But even now, knowing I would only spend six short years with her, I would do it over again, and again, and again. Aijou…" Brushing back her sticky hair, he smiled at her tortured face. "I would not trade the short time I spent with her for all of eternity to live. Just as I would not trade the child our love created for anything in this world." Tears still thick, lips trembling, she clenched her eyes shut, but did not argue.

"If I had to live a thousand years just for the slim chance of meeting your mother again, I would gladly do it, and I would gladly live another thousand years afterwards if it meant I was allowed to keep her for even another moment longer. The only comfort I feel in my mortality is the knowledge that I will see her again in the afterlife, but that is because we parted ways with no doubts between us. If I had to choose between living forever just to keep the woman I loved for even a short time or living my life free and mortal knowing the woman I loved was somewhere else and not by my side, Kaoru… I would rather live forever." She was hiding her face again, her back trembling with each gasping inhale, and even though the sight was heartbreaking Koshijirou couldn't help but smile in soft affection. Love was hard, but it was also wonderful. "What would you choose aijou?"

"I wouldn't care." Sobbing hard as she confessed, the truth hurt like a knife in her heart. "I'd want him to stay."

"Do you see now?" The smile was evident in his voice, but it died quickly when she shook her head.

"But I can't. This isn't just about me or Kenshin, everyone else is suffering too. I can't put myself before them. I can't let them continue to suffer just because I don't want to leave."

"Kaoru… my beautiful stubborn daughter." Sighing, Koshijirou shook his head. He had no answer for this, because it was a hard thing to weigh the lives of many against just two. If it were him he would also wish to save everyone, but to condemn someone he loved, to let that person live on with the false knowledge that he had callously tossed them aside claiming he had never loved them… it was too cruel. Koshijirou would have never been able to look his lovely Sayoko in the eye and coldly tell her he wasn't in love with her. The strength it must have required of his daughter was unfathomable… especially when she was so good, honest, and pure.

A dark shadow caught his attention and Koshijirou looked up, tracking the silent movement with his eyes. It disappeared quickly but it took only a few long moments of anticipation before a soft rustle and thump sounded at a distance behind them. "What happens, Kaoru, if he does not believe you? What if he defies your act and comes after you? Would you still pretend to hate him?"

A broken sob trembled her body, her head shaking desperately. "That's why I wanted to go to Shinsaki, because I know I can't. I'm not strong enough to do it again. I'll betray myself, I know I will."

Shoulders relaxing he hugged his daughter soothingly as she continued to cry. Koshijirou was suddenly very grateful his wife had insisted the lord ask for his daughter's company all those years ago. No one else in the world would have ever returned her unwavering devotion with the same stubborn resolve.

X

Jade green eyes cut through the night as Enishi softly crept his way towards the beacon of fire shining alone in the woods. Soft whispers drifting on the wind ghosted into his ears and the after scent of food clenched his gut, reminding him that he had not eaten since noon. Ignoring the discomfort, his mind gleefully latched onto the thought of finally having that woman within reach. It had been too long since he had last seen Kaoru. He wondered how time had changed her, of how she would look when he forced her to submit. It was going to feel so good reminding her of who she really belonged to.

Crouching down low next to the man who was following the two Kamiyas, Enishi returned the nod of acknowledgement he was given in greeting. The man had chosen a good spot; downwind, out of sight, but with a good view of the campfire. Scanning his green eyes over the three boys sitting around that fire, Enishi frowned.

"Where's the old man and the girl?"

"There." Whispering low, one finger crooked off to their right, pointing at the pair sitting out in the semi-darkness. Studying their postures, Enishi's frown turned contemplative and perplexed. Between the sharp crackles of the fire and the soft whistle of the wind he could just hear the muffled cries coming from Kaoru's hunched form. Never in his entire life had Enishi ever seen Kaoru cry like that except once… at her mother's funeral. The image was at once disturbing and irritating. Nobody else was allowed to make her feel such a strong emotion. That right belonged to him.

Turning on the man next to him as if he were responsible, Enishi hissed in anger. "What happened? Why is she crying?"

"I'm not sure. She was sitting by herself for a long time, and then the old man went over to talk to her, and then she just… started crying like the world was ending." Shrugging helplessly, the man leaned further away from the menacing threat of his boss. "She's secluded herself ever since she came back. Maybe she had a fight with that man she was supposed to have married."

"Hmph. He probably dumped her for someone else. That woman's got too much spirit for any normal man to handle. I'm surprised it lasted this long."

The man spit to show his contempt. "Probably some spineless shop boy. Their hands are too soft for women like her. I bet she's quite the handful." A suggestive leer took the place of contempt on his face and he shot Enishi a knowing look. "She's a beauty, too. I wouldn't mind having a go at her myself. Say, Boss, you ain't going to keep her all to yourself once you've had her, are ya?"

One hand shot out to clench around the man's neck, cutting off his lewd implication. Squeezing violently, Enishi pressed his face close to his subordinate and growled low in his throat. "I have absolutely no intention of sharing her once she's mine. Do you understand? And if I catch you so much as looking at her in any way I find displeasing I will have your eyes right out of your head. The same goes for any other part of your body you try to use on her." Letting go with a short wrenching motion, Enishi returned his attention to the camp, ignoring the soft wheezes coming from his left. "Get yourself ready. I plan on having her tonight."

"Yes… Boss…"

"Them three boys won't be a challenge at all. You shouldn't have any trouble if I leave them to you. It's the old man that's going to be a fight. He doesn't look it, but he knows how to use that katana he's got. Kaoru, too. She can't be underestimated, though perhaps she won't put up a fight in that state." Strategizing quickly, Enishi leaned closer to the bandit. "Here's what you're going to do. I'm going to make my way around closer to the old man. You wait until I attack first. That'll surely send them boys running to help. Cut them off and kill them quick. Once you're finished with them, you better come help me with the girl. I'll have enough problems fending off the old man, but you better not try anything funny or I'll kill you myself. Once we're done here I'll let you have whoever you want down in the village. First pick."

Greed and lust killed the sullen dullness in the bandit's eyes and he nodded eagerly. "Thanks, Boss. I'll be real gentle with her, I promise. Not a scratch."

Enishi wanted to laugh. The poor fool had better not be too gentle with Kaoru or she would more than likely lay him flat for his trouble. As he shook his head derisively, movement caught his eye from the direction of the boys. Something had spooked them, because all three were half-raised from their sitting positions, black eyes raised skyward. Peeking upwards himself, Enishi saw nothing, but caution kept him seated, his hand silencing the man next to him when he tried to speak. Just when he thought to throw off their unease as immature jitters a soft crack, rustle and thump announced the presence of something large off to the left side of the camp. All three boys were on their feet, their eyes staring intently into the trees, stances defensive. Crouching lower in direct opposition, Enishi watched as well, his lackey wisely silent beside him.

What emerged from the forest, however, was something he had only ever seen in his nightmares.

X

Kazuki's eyes were as wide as they would stretch, his entire being frozen as he stared at the straight and proud figure of the palace lord. All his life he had heard stories about the youngest Himura noble living in the cursed palace, but none of them were enough to prepare him for his first look upon his appearance. He was at once beast and man; creature and human. His stance spoke of strength, but his very human violet eyes spoke of gentleness. The scales, wings, horns and claws all said monster, but the beautiful silk of his kimono and hakama covering the upright form of his posture made him look very much human.

What felt like long minutes of silence passed in an instant and his older brother's hand smacked harshly against the back of his head. Forced into a low bow at the waist, Kazuki blinked and was suddenly very grateful for his brother's confidence. If not for him, he probably would have continued to stare.

"Head down, Kazuki. Show some respect." Hissing through clenched teeth, Haruki kept his hand on the back of his little brother's head and bowed next to him. To the lord he spoke in a louder tone. "Forgive my idiot brother, my lord, he forgot his manners. We are very honored to meet you." Echoing him faintly, Kazuki apologized for his rudeness as well.

Amethyst eyes glanced between the two boys, slightly taken aback by their show of courtesy. It was not what he had expected when he had approached them, he had in fact prepared himself for their fear. It was of little importance as long as he found Kaoru, and he knew she was there. He could smell the jasmine of her soap. This, however, was an odd surprise.

The situation only continued to progress towards oddity when the smallest boy off to his left actually approached him. His steps were tentative, but a quick study of his expression showed that he was not afraid. Shy, perhaps? Not far from him and he too bowed at the waist and spoke a polite greeting. When the young boy looked back up at him Kenshin was vaguely interested in the probing intensity of his black eyes.

"Are you looking for Kaoru-san?" Interest shifted, Kenshin's eyes focused completely on the child. It must have startled the boy, because he took a hesitant step back.

"Yes. I would know where she is if you would tell me, young one."

The boy relaxed and he caught the briefest look of incredulity from the other two as they slowly straightened. No doubt they had never expected him to be so well spoken. Pointing with a small smile, the child indicated the other side of the fire where he could not see clearly. "Kaoru-san is over there with her father. I'm glad you came. She's grown very weak."

The natural statement coming from this child was the most perplexing and alarming thing Kenshin had ever heard. What did he mean weak? Was she sick? Stepping around him he laid one clawed hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, and be at ease. I will make sure she is taken care of."

Just around the fire and he could see Kaoru's form curled in on herself, her father sitting next to her, trying to comfort the harsh sorrow wracking her frame. The sight angered him, hating this pain she had inflicted upon herself so readily. Hating that she would place so little faith in him. When he stopped behind them his features were stern and unyielding.

Koshijirou's grey-blue eyes glanced up at him, a slight nod jerking his head. Kenshin barely spared him a glance. His attention was focused upon the woman: _his _woman; _his _lady. There were so many things he wanted to say to her at once, to make her understand, but this was not the place for a confrontation. Reigning in his anger, he called up the last ounce of his patience and held it tight like a lifeline.

Shaking her gently, Koshijirou encouraged her up out of her shell of grief, a kind look on his face as he pointed over her shoulder. Confused at first, Kaoru's neck twisted slowly, eyes wide as she sought out whatever was now standing behind her and to the side. Her show of ignorance was less than convincing, however, because she already knew what awaited her. She had failed and the curse would remain unbroken. Unless she was capable of keeping up her lie even now.

Trembling as she stared up into his firm violet gaze, she tried to swallow, tried to conjure up the right words to say, but his own actions undid her resolve as quickly and efficiently as any skilled warrior of his caliber could. She was too happy to see him, too relieved and comforted by his presence. Biting her lip as his hand outstretched, offering everything in such a small gesture, she was far past the point of being able to control the tears burning down her cheeks.

"It's time for you to come home now, my lady."

Face to face with the man she loved she was unable to deny him anything, and with a choked sob she placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her up. The storm of tears came back in a rush, heaving in her chest, hiccoughing from her mouth, and with her head bowed low she took that one step forward and buried her face in his shoulder and cried for all she was worth. Securely his arms wrapped around her back, not comforting but stressing that he would not let go a second time. He was angry and unwilling to give her reassurance. Shuddering out a watery breath, Kaoru knew it was nothing less than she deserved. Only Koshijirou saw the relieved fall of red lashes and the slight tilt of his cheek into her hair.

Standing, Koshijirou waited for those violet eyes to open again before speaking. "I'll bring her things along in a couple days. I assume we will need to have a discussion at that time."

Kenshin nodded once, resolutely, then bent to hook an arm under Kaoru's knees and lifted her against his chest. Automatically her arms encircled his neck, holding on tightly as her face shifted to press against his hair. A searching look up, a few steps to the side, and he was bunching the muscles in his legs to launch them into the sky. With a sigh the old master tossed a look at his other three students, surprised by their composure. They were taking this all too well. Shaking his head, Koshijirou threw the thought off for later. Some sleep sounded good, and in the morning they could begin their journey back towards the palace.

X

Shock, disbelief and yes, even a touch of fear held Enishi in place, refusing to let him move even to run away… if he had thought to. What had just played out before him was the last thing on this earth he had ever expected to happen to get in his way. Ducking instinctively when the red-scaled creature took flight, Enishi cursed, his head swiveling around to watch the large shadow disappear over the trees. _Just what the hell is going on?!_

"What the hell was that, Boss?" Petrified by fear, the quivering coward next to him still had his hands over his head as if such a small barrier would protect him. "That wasn't… _shit_, you don't think that was really the palace lord, do you?"

Green irises swung back to the camp, watching as the old man walked his way unhurriedly towards the fire. There was a sad but resolute set to his features, but Enishi had seen everything. Kamiya Koshijirou was not the least bit surprised by the presence of the beast. In fact, his face had shown expectance and even a touch of relief. Eyes widening, Enishi's mouth twisted into a snarl as conclusions and ideas came together in his mind. "That sick son-of-a-bitch. He just gave his own daughter to him."

"You think you know what happened, Boss?" Eager to hear an explanation, thick fingers jostled his arm. "Was that him?"

"Yeah, that was him, and I know exactly what's going on here." Rage tightened his fist around the hilt of his katana. "That bastard just gave Kaoru to him, no doubt to spare himself. That's what she was crying for, because she knew she was going to be used as a sacrifice." Frowning, his head ducked, his face contorting in disgust and fuming anger. "No. Not sacrifice. I bet the damn thing wants to breed. It makes perfect sense. It would have to every so often, right? Everyone thinks it's been the same damn creature living up there these last thousand years, but that's not even possible. When it hits its prime or starts getting too old, I bet it snatches up one of the women nearby and makes another one." Inspiration struck, and Enishi spoke half to himself. "That's why she disappeared when she was young. It's had its eye on her from the very beginning, and I bet that stupid old man made some kind of deal with him."

Emerald green eyes shot up and locked onto the form of Kaoru's father, hatred darkening his face. "Our plans have just changed."

"Boss?"

"I want you to send a message to the rest. We attack the village later. First we're going to destroy that cursed palace and kill the beast that lives there before it gets a chance to implant its rotten seed in _my_ woman. We'll end its reign of terror once and for all. But before that… I'm going to kill her old man. You get the boys."

X

A/N: Well… was it okay? I know it's hard reading a story by chapter and then having to wait. It can be very frustrating, but I hope you find this enjoyable anyway. Maybe when it's completely finished it want seem so drawn out. I hope. Anyway, this might seen a bit anticlimactic, and I can't really say that it is what I wanted, but I have it in my head a certain way and I'm trying to be true to that no matter what is said. So… I know everyone was expecting a confrontation between Kenshin and Enishi… but not yet. There is still one more thing that needs to be done first.

Oh, and I had mixed reviews on Saitou, but… I thought I did well, so maybe you will understand why soon. If you still disagree, then I apologize, but I promise I did not think I was engineering his actions to fit, I truly thought it was something he would do.

In the next chapter: Kenshin proves his love; Enishi fights Koshijirou; and Tomoe cries. Please leave a review, and hope to see you soon.


	40. Hidden Guilt

Sorry it's late.

Disclaimer: I plead the fifth.

**Chapter 40: Hidden Guilt**

Whoever the man was he was really strong, but really dumb. Taking on three boys, even if they were still in training was a bit arrogant. Arrogance was a large factor in loss, and Haruki knew this the best among the three. Koshijirou-sensei had found that weakness within days of starting his education, and had spent every day since trying to teach Haruki the importance of humility. Every warning ever said to him all made perfect sense now… now that he was seeing it up close. True strength was never found in overconfidence.

The man was impatient too, and easily irritated. They had already landed several blows between the three of them, and if they had been carrying live steel instead of the wooden practice swords, he would have long since suffered a serious injury. It was easy to tell how much more training they required to truly use their master's technique. It took a lot of strength, courage, and wisdom to use a non-killing style such as his in the correct fashion. Without the precise amount of control, any small misstep could easily claim the life you were trying to refrain from taking. Their master was a great man to be fighting with a blade.

Forcing his eyes to stay locked on his opponent to keep from attempting a glance at Koshijirou, Haruki dodged another attack and watched his brother counter in the opening it offered. The battle that was waging on the other side of the campfire was intense and distracting, and it took everything he had to keep from watching in awe, but he could not spare the time. Kazuki and Ren were counting on him, it was his responsibility to protect them. If they were to get hurt or killed because of his inattentiveness, then his master would be more than just disappointed. Of course, Haruki too would be devastated.

Their opponent was wearing himself out trying to keep up with their stamina, and it was with relief that Haruki saw the opportunity that would release them from the obstacle. It was another show of the man's arrogance that he gave little attention to Ren, thinking him to be the smallest and therefore weakest of their group. Because of his size, however, he was much more agile than the brothers, and as Haruki and Kazuki distracted the man's front, Ren was left with his back. Jumping forward without hesitation, his own weakness of uncertainty momentarily forgotten in the heat of battle, Ren struck a perfect blow against the back of the man's head. Landing on the man's back as he collapsed onto the ground, Ren balanced himself, the adrenaline still holding him tight, and looked up with a curt nod.

Kazuki let his bokken drop with a exhaling sigh of relief, but Haruki was already turning toward their master. He wanted to watch the fight, but there was something else prickling his senses that frightened him. Something felt wrong, and it took little time to see what. Blood was oozing down Koshijirou's right thigh from a long, slashing cut, soaking his grey hakama in dark red. The wound was a large handicap, and his foe, the man with the green eyes and sadistic manner, was exploiting that handicap as much as he could. It was all Koshijirou could do to keep up with his speed.

"Master!" Startled by the sight and terrified of the consequences, Kazuki shouted, his voice coming from directly behind Haruki. His quick movement as he lunged forward to join the duel jerked Haruki after him, frightened now for his little brother's rash courage.

"Stay where you are!" Their master's sharp command froze them both in place, Haruki's hand wrapped firmly around Kazuki's arm. "I will handle him!"

"But Master…"

"Go ahead and let them, old man. You're going to need the help… though it won't do you much good." Enishi's sneer was harsh and mean, his words spiteful as he taunted them. "I am going to kill you, and I won't leave any loose ends to deal with."

"Killing me will not help you, Enishi. My daughter is outside your reach now. I am not the only man who will defend her."

"Man?! You gave her to a beast!"

Koshijirou frowned, and Enishi hated the superior and pitying look on his face. "My daughter chooses her own path. I have no right to give her to anyone. I am merely here to support her decisions."

"Don't lie!" Lunging at him, blinded by rage, Enishi swung his sword wildly. "I saw everything, old man! You made her cry!" The accusation caught Koshijirou's interest, briefly alerting him to an insight that startled him. In the next moment of Enishi's foolish abandon he saw an opening and the realization was pushed from his mind. Sidestepping a reckless upwards slash, Koshijirou countered, ripping open his opponents arm at the bicep. Green eyes abruptly focused as pain tore through his insanity, and Enishi retreated, his left arm hanging limp and dripping blood off his fingers. The cut had been too shallow to amount to much.

Thigh aching and feeling the loss of blood, Koshijirou forced himself to stand straight, his breath only slightly labored. "Kaoru was crying out of regret, but you would never understand her motivation even if I were to explain it to you in detail. It is also true that she left with a man that looks inhuman, but looks are quite deceiving. That man who came to get her, the lord of the palace, is a much kinder and gentler soul than you, Enishi. And stronger. Much stronger. Even if you are capable of defeating me, you will not defeat him."

"I am more than capable."

The attack was too fast for Koshijirou to completely avoid in his weakened state. Feeling the bite of the blade pierce deep into his flesh he was unable to react with more than wide, astonished eyes as Enishi stood directly before him. There was a triumphant, sadistically pleased smile on his face as he stared down upon him, his lips forming words that the master could not distinguish. Steel blue eyes dropping away from his foe's face, he glanced down at the sword joined with his body. It had buried itself almost hilt deep into his left shoulder, and Koshijirou briefly wondered why he felt no real pain. They were as one, almost as if they were supposed to be. _Perhaps this is what it feels like to die. My mind has simply not caught up with the truth._ The katana was abruptly moved and the world flooded back in a rush.

Gasping in pain, Koshijirou could do little more than keep himself upright, his fingers trembling around the hilt of his own katana. The pain finally registered and it hit him slowly that his heart had not been stabbed. He was still alive… but who knew for how long. He was completely at the mercy of his old, disgraced disciple.

"…she be surprised? When I show up to rescue her, she will have no choice but to acknowledge me then." Enishi was rambling, but the opportunity did Koshijirou little good. "I will be her hero. Me. The man you both shunned and hated. I have my own strength, I have my own honor. And at least I would never have given Kaoru over to a beast to rape and keep locked away."

Trembling, his mind going fuzzy, Koshijirou blinked, his head becoming increasingly harder to keep upright. "You are a beast… Enishi… and you will never have her."

The hand still wrapped around the katana clenched, his face contorting in rage, but before he could punish Koshijirou for still acting defiant, Enishi was forced to jump back or be tackled. Unable to pull the sword free, its tip lodged into a tree trunk behind his old master, he faced the three boys defending Koshijirou unarmed.

"Boys…" Weakly protesting, Koshijirou's legs buckled, tearing a cry of pain from his lips as he jerked against the blade still in his shoulder. Instantly Kazuki was by his side, supporting his weight.

"Forgive us, Master, for interfering, but we are unable to watch anyone die when we are capable of preventing it."

Haruki nodded, his black eyes staring Enishi down across the clearing, the campfire crackling and casting dark shadows over their visages. "It is a principle by which we live."

"Our Master would never forgive us if we were to stand idly by." Ren stood next to the older brother, his stance as determined as his cousin's. It pulled a crooked smile out of their teacher.

"You're right. Good job boys. I'm… proud of you."

Amused laughter cut through the praise. "You're proud that they stood by and watched me nearly kill you? You're on death's door, old man. It won't take much more for you to find yourself on the other side."

"You will have to find your way through us first." Haruki was tall and unafraid, his wooden practice sword a strong warning. It made Enishi laugh again.

"You three? Don't make me laugh. Your technique is so elementary I could pick you apart. Don't let that old man's praise go to your head. When I was barely eleven I was stronger than you. Stronger and faster and smarter. He must be going senile if he would praise you when he never once praised me." There was bitterness in his voice, and Haruki frowned. Ren glanced up at him and the look on his face showed his sensitive nature.

"Yes, Enishi… strong you were… but these boys together have something you lack. Kazuki is more courageous; Ren is much wiser; and Haruki is stronger. They will not be defeated so easily. Not when they are working together. Just look at how they beat your friend."

Enishi spit but took a step back. "I don't have time to deal with them anyway. You are going to bleed to death and that was all I wished to accomplish. I have something more important to take care of now. Kaoru's waiting for me and I won't disappoint her."

"Idiot boy!" Calling after him, Koshijirou's voice rasped and choked in his throat. "Kaoru is in love with him!"

Pausing within the shadow-plagued line of trees, Enishi glanced over his shoulder. Briefly contemplative, he sneered. "No one could ever love a beast like that."

"Master!" As Enishi disappeared into the woods Kazuki tried to support all of Koshijirou's weight as he slumped. Haruki turned to help, his hand going to the hilt of the katana. Before he could pull the blade out Ren halted him, asking him to wait while he found something to stop the bleeding.

"Quickly boys… we must warn the palace…"

"We will, Master, be calm. We must treat your wounds first."

"There's no time… quickly…"

…_quickly…_

X

Kaoru was still crying when Kenshin landed, her harsh sobs barely letting up enough to allow her a moment to breathe. Strangely calmed in the face of her distress, he adjusted the weight of her in his arms and said nothing. Walking his way slowly toward the dark gazebo standing alone in the middle of the private garden, he mounted the steps and carefully situated himself against one of the support posts. Trembling arms refused to release her grip around his neck, and he shifted them both so that she was resting in his lap. Leaning his head back against the pole, he stared out across the manicured grass and foliage and waited for her tears to subside.

Strong fingers clenched in his hair, his kimono long since soaked as she wept, and his eyes closed. On a day not so long before he had promised her that he would never let her come to harm. It angered him that she had harmed herself… that he had allowed her to harm herself. At the same time he felt betrayed and hurt. How could she make such a decision without thinking of the consequences? Did she not know what her absence had done to him? Did she not understand that whatever misery she had inflicted upon herself would be the same misery he would feel? How could she have thought to condemn them both in such a way?

"I-I'm sorry, Kenshin." The apology startled him from his anger and he realized his hand was pinching her arm in his agitation. Consciously relaxing his muscles, he grimaced as she hiccoughed, the close noise loud in his ear. "I'm… so sorry." Regretting his lack of control, but still unwilling to offer her reassurance, he dropped his hand in her lap, his other arm wrapped around her back for support only. Swallowing to prepare his voice to be even, he stared at a point over her shoulder.

"Why?" Quivering muscles trembled harder at the firmness in his voice, and the little control she had gained over her breathing left her. "Tell me why."

"I-I…"

"Why would you go if you are so sorry?"

"I only… wanted to help you, Kenshin." Heavy arms finally released his neck, her hands clutching at the collar of his kimono instead. "Tomoe-dono said…" A shuddering breath shook her entire frame as she fought to explain her actions. "I had to leave to break the curse. She said… it was the only way."

A suffering, annoyed sigh left his mouth, and he shook his head like a parent striving for patience with a child. "I thought you had already learned this lesson. If you know or have seen something that I have not, then come to me with this information, that way we may find a way to solve the problem without anyone getting hurt. Together."

"But Tomoe-dono said that I…"

"I don't care what that witch said." Teeth clenching, the arm around her back tightened, crushing her against him. "It was wrong of her to place such a burden on you. You are a thousand years too young to be associated with the curse. Breaking it is my responsibility."

Tears choking her voice, Kaoru shook her head in negation, disagreeing with this claim. "She said only I could do it, that I had to break your heart because it would fulfill her revenge. Otherwise you would be stuck like this forever. I didn't want to but… I can't let everyone else suffer too. I wanted to save everyone. I wanted to save you. I love you so much Kenshin. I don't want you to suffer anymore." Cries strengthening as new guilt and anguish moved in, she sobbed over her defeat. "But it doesn't matter now. I failed. I wasn't strong enough. I could have done better. I could have still lied, but I was so happy to see you and… I wanted so much to come home." It was such an inadequacy to describe her longing, but he must have understood because his other arm finally encircled her completely within his embrace.

"Your guilt is misplaced, my lady. Even if you had lied to me again tonight, I would have never believed you. This plan was a failure from the very beginning. No amount of effort on your part would have truly met the requirements of the curse. I know you love me and I know that you always will."

"Really?" Kaoru's heart hurt hearing his confession and a part of her was so fiercely glad to know he held no doubts about her love.

"Of course. Do you not feel the same?"

Biting her lip and turning her head to the side for air, she sniffed and nodded. "Yes."

"Then why? Why would you leave me?" Features contorting in agony once more, hot tears slid down her cheeks as his voice held no warmth. "Why do this alone? I will not pretend I know everything it means to be in love, but this at least I understand. I am no longer alone… and neither are you. From now on whatever we do will affect the both of us. How could you have made such a decision without consulting me? If we are to support one another then we must tell one another everything. How can I help you if you insist on doing everything on your own? How can I protect you when you do not rely on me?"

"I couldn't tell you, otherwise it wouldn't have worked." Her voice was small, unconvincing even to her.

"It did not work anyway!" The short snap of his voice made her cringe, her face once again hiding between them. "Have you not heard a word I have said? It wouldn't have worked because I would have followed you anywhere just to bring you back. I didn't believe you. Not once."

"I'm sorry." The soft, tear soaked plea worked at his desire to pet and assure her; to coddle and baby her. Cradling a hand against the back of her head as his only allowance, he looked away, violet eyes drifting over the moonlit darkness.

"No, my lady… I don't think you are. After all, how can you be sorry for something if you do not fully understand."

"I do understand…"

"Then you know what it is like to be alone for a thousand years?" The answer was obvious, and she whimpered pitifully in the silence. "You know how hard it is to accept otherwise? You can appreciate how much faith I have for the words you have spoken when the time we have spent together is but a fraction of the life I have endured in doubt?" Stroking his hand slowly down her ponytail, he took no pity on her as he explained. "It is like being a victim of starvation for your entire life. With no home, no companionship, only a cold, empty, never-ending road laid out before you. You walk forward because that is all you are able to do, a vagabond with no purpose or desire except to continue living. You can only dream of what it is like to be full because you are barely able to find enough food to survive.

"And then one day you wake and find yourself not in the familiar wilderness, but in paradise." Violet eyes swept around the garden, seeing an echo of fireflies and stars and dim lanterns. "You are told you have been invited, that you are the guest of honor. There is a table waiting, but when you approach it is not just a simple bowl of rice as you used to dream nor even a meal or a feast… but an entire banquet. More food than you could ever dream of eating, but it is not just food, there is warmth and wonder and beauty. So much beauty." His voice softened, filling with awe. "You doubt whether it is real, and no matter how much you eat, no matter how many times you wake to the foreign beauty and warmth, you fear it is simply a mad delusion of your malnourished mind." The hand stroking down her hair stopped, his eyes unfocused as he stared up at the stars, and Kaoru's sapphire irises were finally visible. Tear-spiked lashes blinked slowly as she studied the emotion touching his features, her teeth biting her lip, and her cheeks were hot with moisture.

"You doubt, but you cannot abstain, and soon you forget what it means to be hungry. You forget what it means to be cold. You forget the hard earth you used to sleep upon, the dirt that used to cover you, the weather that used to torture you. Without willing it you become comfortable and soon you can no longer imagine your life without these new found comforts, and the fear inside you suddenly changes. Not that you have imagined your fulfillment, but that it will be taken away. Please, you pray, even if I only dream, never wake me up." His arms tightened unconsciously, and she silently pouted, all of the pain coming into sharper focus.

"Within this endless banquet you are treated so well. Everyone smiles and bows, everyone speaks compliments of your appearance and manners. You are told so many things about yourself that you never knew and you actually begin to believe them. To hear such conviction over and over again… it must be true, and soon even your fear of waking fades. Your doubt withers, your confidence builds, and you begin to take the food at the table for granted. Something you would have never done before, because before there was no guarantee. Now, you have no reason to ever believe it will disappear. You are the guest of honor, after all, this was all set up for you. Only for you." Inside the guilt and sorrow troubling her heart betrayal struck sharply, and she struggled to catch her breath. _I get it Kenshin, please._

"And then your fears come back to haunt you, but they do not come about as you expected. Instead of simply waking, instead of finding it all to be a delusion, you are thrown out. You were never the guest of honor, and now you are back out in the cold and hunger. Only, you can no longer deal with it like you used to. You cannot remember that person you were before, and the premature departure of all the desires born of that paradise feels so profound you do not want to live without them. You cannot. You would do anything to get them back or otherwise free yourself from the loss."

"Stop." Amethyst eyes still lost in the emotion of his tale finally noticed the empathy he had brought her to. "Please, stop. I understand… I do…" After all the tears she had cried it seemed impossible that she could still produce more, but they ran unchecked down her face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just… I _had _thought about it…" A frown formed on his brow and lips, his hand carefully touching her face. "If I stayed or went… I knew you were going to eventually suffer. Sixty years of suffering just… sounded so much better than eternity."

Very human violet eyes blinked at her as if she had missed something obvious. "I would rather have you for the next sixty years than my freedom from this curse." A sob escaped her, and she cupped a hand around his as she nodded.

"My father said something similar."

"Then you do understand?"

"Yes."

"Good." The control holding him back finally snapped and he hugged her tight against him, his eyes clenched shut as he buried his face in her shoulder. "I am glad you understand now." His exhaled breath was shaky. "So please. Please don't ever leave me again." Head shaking desperately in negation, Kaoru clutched tighter at his kimono seeking comfort and warmth. There was reassurance in his touch now, causing her weary body to shiver in relief, and she felt suddenly so very tired. This was everything she needed, and she never wanted to give it up again.

"Don't ever hurt yourself like that again. Don't ever lie to me. Don't try to do anything else on your own." Meaningful words were spoken against her skin, his warm breath a faint touch of heat. "I want to support you for the rest of your life. I want to make you happy, I want you to smile, I don't ever want you to act in a way that does not suit you. Please, my lady… I want you to put your faith in me. I promise to always listen and judge fairly."

Nodding, Kaoru was finally getting her breathing under control. There was still a wretched feeling lying just underneath the assurance and love he was blanketing her in. It would not allow her to feel completely certain or secure. She loved Kenshin and she could not deny that she was happy to be with him again. It was so easy to let him win when what he wanted was what she wanted as well, and even though she no longer felt as certain about her decision to lie and leave, she was unable to feel truly at peace either. Kenshin had made it clear that this strategy would have never worked because his heart would not be swayed by her act, and she believed that he was right. However, the same part of her that suffered for the pain she had given to her lover still did not think she had done enough. More than anything in the world she wanted to be with Kenshin forever, but she also wanted to free everyone from the curse so that they could be with the ones they loved, too. Even if the plan had been hopeless from the beginning, she still felt like a failure. Their permanent imprisonment was now all her fault.

"Kaoru." Sapphire eyes blinked open slowly as her thoughts retreated into the shadows of her mind. It was the first time he had ever addressed her without a title.

"Yes?" Barely able to find her voice to reply, she waited breathlessly for him to continue.

"If you are going to stay here… then I have… a condition."

"Okay."

"I want you… to be the Lady here… _my_ lady." One shaky hand cupped the back her head, his face still hidden, and the tremor in the touch gave him away. "I… I want you to be my wife."

Happiness despite the enduring pain, shame, and guilt of the evening flooded her heart, making her smile tremulous. "Okay." Flattening her hands against his chest, she sniffled. "Can I have a condition, too?"

The frown on his face was perplexed when he pulled away, and she was glad to see the familiar warmth back in his eyes. "Anything. Whatever you want."

"Could you say my name like that again?" Lashes heavy as exhaustion caught up with her, she leaned her head against his chest, stray tears still leaking from her eyes. "It was really nice."

"Such a simple request." Planting a soft kiss on her forehead, he leaned his cheek against the same spot. "This is the Kaoru that I am used to." A soft hum announced her pleasure. "I am so glad that the nightmare is finally over."

A shiver passed up her spine, his words adding more weight to the situation. It had been a nightmare; a long, horrible nightmare. Tugging the ends of her overcoat tighter around her shoulders, she dug herself a little closer into his chest. It wasn't cold, but his warmth felt good. Adjusting to her movements, Kenshin allowed her to get into a comfortable position between his legs.

Settled, his arms relaxed around her and a moment later she noticed his fingers playing with the sleeve of her haori. Though he said nothing about her theft of the clothing, she knew he was aware. "I wanted… to keep something of yours with me…"

"Ah."

"I'm sorry for taking it without permission."

"It is alright."

"… It was a poor substitute."

"For me?" Carefully his hand reached into the fold of his kimono collar, forcing her to sit back. "Or for this?" The necklace glowed softly pink in the darkness, the silver chain winking as it swayed in his grip. Pouting she lifted a finger to touch the glass petal and admitted timidly.

"Both. I felt so naked without it." He chuckled in amusement and she smiled at his reaction, her finger just brushing the surface. A sudden, fierce flash of pink lit up the interior of the gazebo at the contact, blinding Kaoru and leaving white and black spots to decorate her vision when the light subsided. "What… happened?" Blinking, her eyes clearing reluctantly, she looked up to see Kenshin was similarly affected. After a couple of seconds of his own attempts to rid himself of the hampering aftereffect, the hand still holding the necklace jerked causing Kaoru to jump. Watching as he spread his fingers wide, she frowned in confusion when he sighed at the red scales and black claws.

"Of course…" The disappointment and resignation in the statement worried Kaoru.

"Of course what? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Kaoru." Speaking her name was clearly a tactic to divert her, but his accompanying smile helped. "I think it's just happy to be reunited with you as well. That was more than likely its own way of scolding you for leaving it behind."

"Oh. Yeah." Not sure what he meant, she agreed without questioning. Why was he speaking of it like it had a mind of its own?

"Put it back on. Since you are going to stay, it is yours to keep, and I don't ever want to see you without it again."

_What about Tomoe-dono? Doesn't the petal belong to her?_ Biting her lip, she did not voice her concern aloud, and instead focused on fastening the small hook at the back of her neck. Gently the light weight rested once more against her sternum, and Kaoru sighed at the familiar feeling. The delicate glow burned a little brighter, warming her through her clothes, and Kaoru frowned as it suddenly became easier to breathe. In fact, she felt lighter, like a weight she hadn't been aware of was lifted from her chest. Her thoughts became clearer, her weak limbs stopped trembling, and a surging rush of power she had never felt or noticed before coursed all the way down to her fingers and toes.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get it back to you." Unaware of her experience, Kenshin brushed a hand over the trails of moisture still dripping from her chin. "I told you that I never doubted but… it still took me the last two days to convince myself you were acting." There was shame in the confession. "I'm sorry… but I was relieved knowing for certain that I was right."

Shaking her head free of the warm buzz tickling her senses, Kaoru leaned back into his chest. "It's okay." Worrying her lip, her thoughts distracted, she struggled to offer the comfort he desired. "I didn't give you much reason to believe me."

"It shouldn't have mattered." Again his hand touched her cheek and she glanced up to see him frowning at her. "Please stop crying, Kaoru. You have no reason to cry anymore." Startled, her hand joined his, touching the fresh tears still leaking from the corners of her eyes. "We are together now and I know I was angry before but I would never be cruel to you."

"I know, they just…" Sniffing, her smile came out looking crooked. "won't stop."

"Then I shall have to stay with you until they do."

"Until morning?"

"If I must."

"I think you just wanted an excuse to keep a hold of me." Teasing half-heartedly in an attempt at normalcy, Kaoru forced a breathy laugh.

"Perhaps." His smile was kind and warm, his eyes speaking more than his words.

Blushing, Kaoru played with a lock of red hair that had found its way over his shoulder, her thoughts of the necklace gone. "Will this be the first night, then?"

"The first night, my lady?"

Ducking her chin to hide her embarrassment, Kaoru's lowered voice forced him to lean closer. "Misao-san told me… about how marriage was done… a thousand years ago."

Sitting back up, Kenshin tried not to roll his eyes at the mention of that nosy weasel. "I see."

"She wanted to make sure I was aware of my actions when… I was in your room in the evenings."

"Ah." Sighing, he dropped his head back against the post. "Don't worry, Kaoru, I had planned on doing this right. We will have a proper ceremony as you are used to, with your Father's blessing. After all, I did promise him that I would protect your honor."

"You did?"

"Yes, and I will formally ask for his permission when he shows up in a few days. I thought, if he did not mind, that he might stay here as well. Those boys of his did not seem to mind me, and you won't have any need to worry about him."

"That would be wonderful." Eyelashes fluttering, she yawned. The surge of energy she had received from the necklace wasn't enough to fight off the fatigue from the last two days. "I hope he agrees."

"I as well."

Warm and comfortable, Kaoru relaxed completely. "Kenshin?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't wanna sleep in separate rooms."

"Huh?"

"When we're married. I know that's what you're used to but… it's weird to me. Mom and Dad always slept in the same room."

"Oh." There was a smile in his voice, and her lips twitched at the caress of his mouth in her hair. "I have spent enough nights on my own."

"I'm glad we agree." Seemingly satisfied, it was quiet again, amethyst eyes closing in languid contentment. He would have to explain to her later that separate rooms were mostly for changing purposes. "Kenshin?"

A frown pulled his lips downward. "Yes?"

"Will you still hate your name when it's mine too?"

_Hmm… Himura Kaoru… _His frown twitched. "I think I'm liking it better and better by the moment."

"Good."

A smile spread over his features, his thoughts now occupied with the seeds she had planted.

"Kenshin?"

Eyes popping open in amused exasperation, he looked down at her. "What is it?"

"I love you."

Annoyance fading, he petted her hair, brushing her bangs aside so he could better see her face. "I love you, too." He was so glad to hear those words again. Glad that she was once again there to speak them. Complete happiness eluded him however, and he instead felt a sprouting seed of sadness as he watched the tears that were still silently coursing down her cheeks. Despite all of his reassurances something was still bothering his lady, and he was not unaware of why.

X

It was the beginning of the third day of their lord's demand for solitude and Sano was not happy. He had thought for sure the master would have gone after the woman, but it seemed he was insisting on being stubborn and idiotic. It was clear to everyone else that whatever had sent the little lady away was not because she had wanted to leave. Whatever fight had happened, or careless word spoken, for whatever reason she was gone the master needed to bring her back. Without her there, time was once again ignoring them.

When she had first arrived their palace had been lost to the passage of time, stagnant within their little world. With her influence they had once again found themselves moving forward, progressing towards a future, towards hope. Their master no longer ignored them and once again became the stable center they needed to function properly. Brightness had returned to their lives, hopes and dreams renewed, love rekindled. Now that she was gone, it was like time had once again stopped. Their master had retreated back into his shell, and the light of hope was slowly dying for the rest of them. Doubt was beginning to take the place of certainty, and some were starting to whisper alternative reasons for her departure. Perhaps they were simply unwanted and of no use anymore.

Irritated and grumbling, Sano put his tracking skills to use. He did not want things to go back to the way they had been. Life was only just beginning to make sense to him again, he couldn't ignore all the turmoil he had gone through just to get to where he was now. It was too short of a time for him to just give up. Besides which, he had accomplished nothing. He still had yet to get his own woman back. This backsliding was not going to happen, he was not going to allow it. Even if he had to push the limits of his connection to the master, he would make sure this slump was not permanent.

The sun was barely up when Sano found the lord curled up and dozing in a small gazebo in one of the gardens. It looked like an awkward position to be sleeping in, sitting straight up with his neck bent completely forward and his wings draped on top of one another over his front like a makeshift blanket. For a moment his quiet indisposition angered Sano even more. How could the man be sleeping so peacefully when the woman he loved had left without a word? Did he feel no responsibility for mending their relationship? Did he care so little about the chaos his withdraw had thrown the palace into? Wasn't he worried at all about where the little lady was?

Clearing his throat loudly, Sano set his mouth in a stern frown. What he was about to do was dangerous and he knew it, but there were some things he could not tolerate. No one else had the nerve to so blatantly disobey the master, and even though Sano knew he was relying a little too much on his relationship with Shinta and Kenshin's respect of that, he was determined to do the unthinkable. No matter what the master did to him, he was going to give him a piece of his mind. He only hoped that it was enough to set him on the right path. _Shinta help me say the right words, I'm about to do something stupid._

The noise must have woken the master because his head twitched up enough to show his red lashes flutter. Thinking that perhaps it might be safer to speak to him when he wasn't coherent enough to lash out, Sano pitched his voice loud and forceful. "Forgive me, my lord, for my disobedience, but I need to speak to you about your actions." Violet eyes darted instantly in his direction and locked on him, a frown marring his face. "It's been three days now since the little lady left, don't you plan on doing something about it?"

"Sanosuke…"

"I know you think it is none of my business, and in a way that may be true, but this situation has affected your subjects, my lord. You need to come to a decision. You need to bring her back." Kenshin's weight shifted, one of his wings twitched, and a second after his eyes flickered down to his lap the frown on his face darkened.

"Lower your voice."

Bravely ignoring the hiss in his master's tone, Sano hounded him relentlessly. "It shouldn't matter what happened between you. You probably weren't paying her enough attention or something. Whatever she did or you did you need to resolve it quickly. We need our master back, and the little lady was nice having around too."

"Sanosuke, you will lower your voice."

"Like hell. Not until you stop being a stubborn ass and get your woman back. Everything was better with her here. You were better with her here. You want her back so stop moping and go get her."

Huffing impatiently, Kenshin growled lowly, cutting through Sano's tirade. "Sanosuke, if you wake my lady I will have you put on ridge patrol for the next thirty years."

Mouth already open to continue, Sano blinked, his teeth clicking together as what was said sank in. Half-ducking, his ears flattened and his tail lowered. "What?"

"Ridge patrol, Sanosuke. The longest, most taxing and undesirable track for the outer patrols. You will live on that trail for the next thirty years if you do not keep your voice down."

"Yes, my lord, but… what was that you said about your lady?"

Sighing, Kenshin uncurled his wings carefully, revealing Kaoru's sleeping form still resting against his chest. She slept deeply, fortunately for Sano, safely enclosed in her lover's arms. "Are you satisfied now, you meddlesome mutt? I brought her home late last night."

Stretched on his belly in contrite submission with his jaw on his forelegs, his ears popped straight up and his tail flopped happily. "Yes sir."

"I'm glad you have been appeased." Sarcastic and annoyed, Kenshin rolled his shoulders as the stiffness from the night caught up with him.

"Forgive my impudence, my lord. I was merely concerned for your behavior." Standing, he ducked his head respectfully, then looked up with a wink. "Give the little lady my regards when she wakes up."

"Wait, Sanosuke." Pausing, Sano's pleased expression both amused and annoyed the master. "Since you are here I have an errand that needs done. The morning patrols should have already taken over for the evening here at the palace, but Saitou's city patrols should still be out. I need you to intercept Saitou before he switches off and send him here, he should be on day patrol. If he's not at the barracks then he might still be at his home."

"You got it. One bad-mannered wolf coming up."

"Oh, and Sanosuke, one last thing." Turning away nonchalantly, Kenshin pretended that he was only making the confession because it was better than a repeat of the encounter. "Since you are so concerned with my personal affairs then it might reassure you to know that the lady has agreed to be a permanent resident… as my wife." An almost timid look peeked out of the corner of violet eyes to see how this news was accepted, and a large grin spread over the dog's mouth.

"Hot damn!" Kaoru twitched and Sano's ears pinned back, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Congratulations. That's great news."

"Thank you." A tender look crossed over his face as he looked down on his lady, and Sano decided it was a good moment to strategically retreat. Being told personal business and witnessing personal business was two very different things. Gone before the master even noticed, Sano hurried to carry out his duty, leaving Kenshin to his adoration.

There were sticky moisture trails still evident on her cheeks, her dark hair tangled and matted to her face in those areas of recent tears. Carefully peeling the messy strands away his brow twitched as he rediscovered something he had noticed the night before. The silky black locks were dirty and grimy, as if she had not bathed since leaving the palace. Her clothes were in a similar state as well. Even if she had been on the trail for two days, there were plenty of mountain streams to use if she wished to take care of herself properly. In the heat of summer the chill water would be welcome even. Closing his eyes briefly he knew he had no room to feel indignant for her negligence. Kenshin had done little better in his own appearance. He was still wearing the attire she had helped him into the day before she had left.

As he watched a new tear pressed itself through the crevice of her closed eyelids and rolled slowly down her cheek. Even in sleep she could find no peace from the wrong Tomoe had done to her. It angered him again, because he was unsure what reason the witch had for telling Kaoru such a lie. Then again, he did know. The entire point of the curse was to bring him pain, after all, in return for the pain he had given to her. Was that not what revenge was all about? He would not even deny that he deserved to feel pain for his deeds, but he could not forgive her senseless use of Kaoru. Sending her away would never appease the curse.

A soft whimper escaped Kaoru's throat and she pushed herself forcefully into his chest, escaping or seeking comfort from whatever was haunting her dreams. Her turmoil hurt but at the moment he had no way of truly assuaging her pain except to offer her his presence. Kaoru was such a gentle and giving soul. If given the choice between her own happiness and the happiness of others she would always choose the latter. Was that not the very reason why she had left? Even if she had not truly understood her choice or that she was in fact bringing the exact opposite of what she had wished about, he knew where her heart was, and that was in good. Now that he had brought her back, however, and even though he knew she was happy to be home once again, she would never forgive herself for not breaking the curse for everyone else. She would be miserable and he wanted her to be happy.

Kenshin would gladly take away this feeling of guilt, but he knew she would give it up reluctantly. She had no place to carry it, as the entire existence of the curse was his fault to begin with, but because of this incident she now mistakenly found blame in herself. It would eat at her, never allowing her to truly be at peace, and for now he knew he had to let it. When she was calmer he would release her from her guilt and take it all upon himself. At that time he would reveal to her what he knew. He would tell her that he finally understood what it was going to take to break the curse. Because of her influence he was able to see the truth, and because of her love he was able to stop lying to protect himself. He knew what needed to happen… and he had a plan to make sure everyone would be happy in the end.

When Saitou finally showed nearly an hour later Kenshin had readjusted Kaoru to his lap where she still slept undisturbed and with no signs of waking. It did not surprise the wolf to see the lady, but then Saitou had heard all about the situation from Sano's smug declarations. It was almost as if the mutt had been speaking of the pair like he was the sole reason they were back together again. Saitou was not fool enough to believe something like that, but then again, he had never believed the master would allow the woman to be out of his sight for long, either.

Sitting at a polite distance from the gazebo at attention, Saitou allowed his manners to slip. "It took you long enough." The lord frowned at him, and Saitou's features briefly held condescension before reverting to a look of boredom. "You called for me?"

"Yes." Looking him over, Kenshin was obviously suspicious of the opening statement, but could find no reason to be overly concerned despite his irritation. "Do you know what Kaoru's father, Kamiya Koshijirou, looks like?"

"I do, my lord."

"Good, this makes things simple. I need you and you personally to take a few of your men to find him and his three students and escort them back to the palace. I doubt they will have any problems, but I don't want to give my lady any more cause to worry."

Nodding, Saitou listened to the lord's quick and precise instructions on where to find them. "Very well. Should I escort them out of sight?"

"Whatever you prefer, as long as you do not startle them."

"It shall be done." Standing, Saitou nodded again curtly. "The boys were asking after the lady. They will be pleased that she has returned."

Considering him thoughtfully, Kenshin nodded in return. "Shall I invite them to the palace for a visit? I am certain my lady would be more than pleased to see them as well."

"After the lady has settled back in. I would hate for my boys to be inconvenient." Pausing with his body half-turned away, Saitou frowned. "Since she is here may I assume she has felt remorse for her actions?"

The question felt too vague and specific at the same time, allowing the wolf's words to take on a double meaning. No one else knew of the real reason Kaoru had left, though. Had she said something to Saitou the night he had walked her down the mountain? Choosing his words just as carefully in reply, Kenshin nodded his head slowly. "She understands and regrets what she has done and came home willingly."

"Good. I have no intention of being a third party to this again. That silly child is in severe need of guidance that I have not the patience to attempt a second time."

"The assistance you granted to her will never be required of you again as I have no intention of letting her out of my sight." Annoyance with the insinuation made Kenshin's voice short. "Also, Saitou, you will speak of this child with more respect once she is my wife."

"I will keep that in mind once that happens."

"Make sure you do."

"I will also hold you to your responsibilities, my lord." Kenshin's frown narrowed in a mixture of confusion and indignity. "Our lives depend upon your actions."

_Certainly not the actions of a child barely into maturity._ Saitou marched away, leaving the master and his bride-to-be alone once more in the gazebo. The entire situation was too complicated when it should not have been. Without even knowing everything Saitou could see what was most important. The witch had tried to keep him in the dark, to use him like she had used Kaoru with her half truths, but he was a being much more shrewd than the little girl. It angered him that she had succeeded in tricking him for a time, but there seemed to be some use in his cooperation. It was sickening to think that she had deliberately used an innocent girl just to satisfy her own wishes, though.

When he had first approached the sorceress she had answered his questions openly about the curse and its origins. To break it, however, she had told him was quite simple. All that needed to happen was for the young lord to fall in love and to be loved in return. Not so simple when he was trapped in the form of a hideous beast, but she had assured him that his appearance was the point. If a young woman could love him despite his outward facade then it would prove that he was not the heartless monster of his younger years and she would be appeased by his rehabilitation. Saitou had been skeptical, but the chance had not been worth passing up.

So he had found a child, as requested. One that showed no fear of his large form or the speech that came unnaturally from his mouth. The girl had been all to eager to go with him, to meet others like himself, to see the palace and all its glory, and to encounter the master that her mother had told her about in stories. Saitou had watched that day, reassured that his choice had been correct by the master's actions. Even when she did not come back for years, he had thought nothing of it. The girl had been young, after all, and she would need to mature before love could truly form. Besides, the lord's activities ever since that day had become more lively, showing promise. The witch, too, had expressed no concern. The lord would eventually bring her to the palace, and if he did not then they would engineer a way to get her there.

Once she was there he had been forced to simply wait and watch. No one but they could create the love that was needed, and any interference would only hamper their development. There were plenty of others to intervene and encourage the two fools. Let them do what he could not. When it was apparent that they were in love, however, his skepticism grew. If all it took was their love for one another, then how come nothing had happened?

"_Perhaps the girl does not really love him, or he her."_ Not long after this declaration, the witch had informed him that Kaoru had decided to leave. The plan had not worked. The witch was worried about her walking back down the mountain alone, however, and had asked him to escort her. The conversation that had ensued between the two of them during their walk had confirmed all of his suspicions about the witch.

Angered, at himself, the witch, the girl, and the master, he cursed his own involvement in the now tangled web, sickened even by his own hopeful response. It was that weakness had that allowed him to be used, and it was that hope that had kept him from doing everything he could to keep the girl from leaving even when he knew she did not want to. He spoke of dishonor, but his own actions were far from honorable. To protect his family, however, to give them the life that they deserved, he would do what was needed. Conflicted by what he knew was right and his responsibility and devotion towards his family, he had lectured the girl but still let her go. Even if there was only a slim chance of setting his family free, he could not pass up the possibility. If it was to work they would never know of the dishonor because he would never tell them, and he would carry it solely by himself for the rest of his life just to let them live peacefully. A part of him had known that it would never work, however. The same part that knew his master would never allow his lady to be gone from his side for too long.

When his anger had subsided, the truth had come easily. At the very beginning the witch had told him that only the master could break the curse and no one else. That meant even Kaoru was unable to. From here on he would have to trust the master to take care of the problem. It would not be easy, but the boy had grown much. When he got back from escorting the girl's father, he would see about approaching the lord. If something was to be done, it needed to be done soon.

X

Enishi glanced up at the morning sky with a harsh grin. Well rested and making good time, he would be at the palace after sunset where his men would be waiting for him. The beast would never expect an ambush when people were supposed to fear him. Such assumptions would be its downfall, and Kaoru would finally be his. Better yet, she would be happy to be his. After being held by a beast, she would no doubt be eager to love him.

X

A/N: Well, this took long enough, but I only need one excuse and that is **life**. It happens, unfortunately. I apologize.

I am also sorry that this chapter wasn't quite exciting. A lot of stuff happened, but I didn't get to Tomoe, and I know someone was really excited about that part. I had to hold off on it, though, so it will be in the next chapter, I assure you. I had to restart the beginning of this three times because I couldn't get the feel right. I am much more satisfied with it now, but I struggled with the emotion in this chapter, which is usually the part I have the least problem with. I think I've burnt myself out after the last three chapters of drama. I'm ready for some fight scenes dammit! Even though they are my worst areas. I'm hoping practice makes perfect, so bear with me.

So I left Koshijirou kind of hanging in limbo. XD It's fun that way. Kenshin's talk with Kaoru was supposed to be a little different, but I always have an easier time of imagining what it's supposed to be like and then have trouble putting it to paper. I hope that becomes easier, but I doubt it. It seems Kenshin knows something, or has realized something, about the curse. (evil laugh) Oh, and I wanted to bring out Saitou's actions since I didn't really explain before, but I feel like I shot myself in the foot. I have the reasoning in my head, but I have such a hard time writing it without making it into five pages of worthless thoughts that have nothing really to do with the plot line. So this will have to do.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think. I'm going home this week, so I won't be anywhere near my laptop for nine days. That means the next chapter might be a little while though hopefully not as long as this one. Coming up, Kaoru's insecure, Kenshin confronts Tomoe, and mayhem finds the palace at night.


	41. Proposition

I love Christmas, but I hate decorating for it. Especially before Halloween. 67 trees? Is that really necessary?

Disclaimer: … I know.

**Chapter 41: Proposition**

The smell of blood on the air was thick, alerting Saitou to be equal parts cautious and speedy. Him and the three other patrolling wolves he had chosen were already much too far from the palace to be running across the lady's father and his students. It was only a little after midday and if the party they sought was supposedly heading back towards the palace then they should have already crossed paths. The sweet aroma of blood was an ominous sign.

Quickening his steps, he jerked his muzzle to the side and the three behind him disappeared. Whatever was up ahead they needed to be prepared for anything. Whether they found a trap, an ambush, or that their charges were dead, Saitou did not want to take any chances of losing the advantage.

Too soon he heard the sounds of footsteps, two were solid and even, another was a combination of limp and drag. Skirting around the path the steps were taking, Saitou finally distinguished that the third person was actually two. This was their party of wayward travelers. Slipping up behind them silently, he studied the situation. A small boy with a wooden sword and a large boy carrying a real katana and another wooden sword in his other hand were escorting the two between them. The third boy had his bokken slung across his back while he supported the weight of a full grown man on his shoulders. Dark golden eyes steadied on the staggering steps of the man and Saitou felt anger and adrenaline surge to life. Pinpointing the location of his men he quickly determined their reports before jumping forward. All was clear and he had nothing to fear but their explanation of what was going on.

There was no time to be delicate about his sudden appearance, and so he was expecting shock. That it was the lady's father who first noticed and reacted to his presence was reassuring. Whatever had happened to him, he was not completely indisposed. Grey blue eyes dazed by pain widened as Koshijirou looked over his shoulder and spotted the overgrown wolf, but he did not shout. His composure proved that he was still thinking clearly. Not a moment later and those blue eyes were searching the woods around the small group, and Saitou felt admiration grudgingly join his relief. Now the samurai was aware of his entire patrol.

Aware that there was not enough time to wait for how the man would handle the situation, though Saitou was curious, the lead wolf was more concerned with what had happened to leave a nice bloody trail on the ground. "Forgive us the sudden appearance, Kamiya-san." All three of the boys jumped, the two unhindered ones twirling towards him, weapons up. Eyeing them in amusement, Saitou locked his irises back with the sword master. "Lord Kenshin asked that I escort you back to the palace." Letting his gaze drop to the shoulder that came into view as the pair in the middle slowly turned, he scowled at the hasty bandages barely keeping the blood from oozing out of the wound. "It seems, however, that we have shown up too late."

A shaky sigh escaped Koshijirou's lips. "You are a resident of the palace. Please you must hurry. There is a man looking for Kaoru. I've kept her whereabouts from him, but he knows now. He saw her last night when she left with the lord. You must warn Lord Kenshin. He must keep my daughter safe."

"This man attacked you?" Voice shortening, Saitou jerked his head again, calling one of his subordinates to him.

"Yes. He used to be a student of mine, but his compassion is limited only to himself. He is strong and selfish. A dangerous combination."

"Is there only just one?"

"No. He leads a group of men. I'm not sure how many. I've only seen a few at a time watch the house, but they are always different."

"Hm." Taking in the information, Saitou's eyes narrowed. The group of bandits he had kept his eyes on for weeks. They were no doubt the men he was speaking of. "How much blood have you lost?"

"Plenty, but I'm in no danger. The boys patched me up."

"Good. Stay here and rest. I will relay the message."

"I must get to my daughter." Disagreeing, Koshijirou frowned, his teeth grinding.

"Your daughter will be safe. My master will not be beaten by some upstart."

"Your master has not yet taken responsibility of her away from me. I will be going."

"Master." Kazuki rebuked him, but that only turned the man's scowl on him.

"Be quiet boy. You three have yet to explain yourselves to me, and I will not just sit quietly by in the dark. This concerns my daughter. I will not have her taken from me as well." Three sets of dark eyes averted from blue, but not one said a word.

"Do as you wish. I was not sent to argue with you." Sniffing, Saitou looked the boys over one more time. They _were_ strangely unconcerned with the unreal scenario. After their initial shock of finding a wolf had snuck up behind them, their reaction to the fact that he could talk had been much less visible. "I will leave two of my men with you." Making eye contact with the two he meant, both wolves nodded. Swiveling his eyes to the remaining patrol member he flicked an ear. "You come with me. We have some scouting to do before we report to the master."

"Yes sir."

X

The day that proceeded at the palace was lazy and slow, filled with insecurity and silent reassurance. Though there was much cause to rejoice with Kaoru returned and a wedding to now plan, the atmosphere was subdued, dampened by the absence of the lady's smile.

When her pretty sapphire eyes finally blinked open near midmorning to stare up at him Kenshin was glad to see the tears had stopped, but was saddened by the shame that had replaced them. It was a tangled emotion Kenshin knew all too well, and its existence within his lady was ill-fitting to her person. It would take time to heal the wound it had been born from and he prayed that time would pass smoothly.

At the table he quickly discovered what kept her calm and what agitated her guilt. With her insecurity she became clingy, unwilling to allow even a corner of the table to stand between them while they ate. Wishing to appease her he instead placed himself next to her, saddened further by the frightened creature his strong Kaoru had turned into. Leaning into his side, the arm around his back tangled in his kimono, she seemed more like a child than ever as she sought solace in his embrace. These actions, however, were the calm. When Tae and the others made their appearance with breakfast he was given witness to her agitation.

In an attempt to show no ill will for her disappearance, Tae spoke a soft, friendly greeting. Instead of a pleased response, Kaoru's form trembled against him and a nod was all she could muster to acknowledge the words. A shake of his head warned the cook off, but it took too long for Kaoru to calm down afterwards. She ate much less than he would have liked as well.

So his presence was the panacea she needed to place purpose in her return. He was the reason she had left, and now he was the only reason why she was there. Seeing everyone else was only a burden, a reminder of what she thought herself too weak and incapable to do. To allow her time to relax, Kenshin ordered that the servants keep themselves from sight, but it was not a command that would stand for long. It was not fair to the people she had befriended, nor was it fair to isolate Kaoru from everyone but himself. Action would help her to get past this reaction, but Kenshin was unsure what action she needed to take when there was nothing she could truly do. Or nothing he would allow her to ever do. Kaoru was his to protect now. She would never be allowed to harm herself again.

Convincing her to take a bath afterwards was another struggle. It was not that she threw a tantrum, even though he had compared her actions to that of a child. In fact, she hardly spoke at all, and he could see the strength that was required to simply keep herself together against the wearing self-deprecation inside of her. So it was her eyes that pleaded, and her hand that refused to let go, and his own heart that turned traitor and ached seeing the fear on her features. This emotional struggle battled his reason until he was the one pleading with her. Seeing him upset seemed to awaken her momentarily and she finally nodded in agreement. She even went without argument to her rooms to change by herself while he stayed to bathe.

Unwilling to be apart for too long for his own reasons, Kenshin rushed through his bath and then back to his rooms to change. Upon entering his pavilion he was reminded of the temper he had shown the day she had left, his belongings tossed and strewn across the floor. Some were even tumbling out into the hallway through the hole in the rice paper panels. Sighing, he pulled off his bathrobe and began dressing quickly. Getting it cleaned would have to wait until later.

It was as he was finishing the quick tie in his low ponytail that he heard the quiet gasp at his door and his stomach dropped as he realized he had been too slow. Two steps blocked her from entering, his voice soft as he reprimanded her for not staying in her rooms like he had asked her to. Sapphire eyes were bruised on top of weary, their dull depths darting glances at the chaos behind him. This too she would blame herself for, and she needed nothing else to add to her torment.

"I just wanted… to help with your kimono ties, like always. And brush your hair too." A slightly shaky hand lifted the brush she had brought along, her voice heartbreakingly hopeful. Her eyes were pleading again, trying to fix the pain she had put him through with any loving gesture she could conjure. Smiling warmly, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her outside.

"Not this time, Kaoru. I thought I might brush yours instead." She blinked at him as if unable to comprehend, but relinquished the brush without a fight. The loose hair around her face and spilling down her back was still very wet, dampening the dark over-kimono she was wearing. It drew his attention to her attire.

The clothing she wore was simple, though not as simple as her own clothes, since they were still within her father's possession. Instead she wore an everyday summer outfit for court ladies, with layered white kimono tucked into a red, baggy pair of hakama worn only by women. Only two layers of outer kimono trailed to the ground in place of the many layers of formal dress, but despite the simplicity her rank was well visualized. Still, it was something else that did not seem to fit her, and he realized it was because everything in the palace was now relics of the past. It was time to change that. They could no longer be bound by the past. They needed to look towards the future. When everything settled down he would have new clothing from her era made for her and perhaps for himself as well.

Back inside her own rooms he coaxed her to sit in front of him, his touch light as he gathered up her hair. It was a strange twist to a situation he had always been on the receiving end of, but the first moment her head began to nod he felt gratification instead. Not long after she fell asleep leaning back against him, her hair fully dry and her breathing deep.

She slept for much of the day after that, waking only at lunch to eat and then follow him around until wearing herself out again. After supper she insisted on sitting with him in his office while he caught up on some paperwork. It was nighttime before he decided trying to convince her to go to bed was useless and he was going to have to pretend he was finished. Now walking her back to her rooms, he frowned at the tight grip her hand had on his.

For the entire day he had indulged her within reason, sometimes without reason, and for the entire day he had found his self-restraint tested. It was confusing how her vulnerability made him feel fiercely protective and yet at the same time tortured him because of her careless trust. Clearly she was not thinking about what her actions might entice, only believed that he would take care of her in her exposed state. Only his solid foundation of propriety and his respect for the woman he loved had kept her safe, but there was only so much a man could take. If she were to test him anymore he was not sure what would happen.

Shadowed features told him exactly what she wanted to ask of him the moment they stopped before her pavilion. Just the knowledge alone was tempting, excuse fighting against reasoning. Letting out a breath his smile was strained as he cupped a hand to her cheek and halted her from speaking. To put life to such a thought would be more than just dangerous, but unavoidable. Before the pain of denial could contort her mouth, he pulled her forward so that their foreheads were touching. The intimacy was all he dared.

"Please don't ask that of me, Kaoru." Confusion cut off fear and imagined rejection, her eyes searching the dark depths of his. "I won't be able to say no." If she were to ask him to stay, if she were to speak the words aloud, he would be unable to refuse. What was worse… he could not guarantee restraint.

For a single moment Kaoru herself seemed tempted as understanding dawned, and an equal amount of terror and hope warred for dominance in his chest. Everything else was forgotten as she stared back at him, no other emotion but hesitant contemplation for his words showing. Would she ask anyway, despite his warning?

A slow smile warmed her face and it was the first time since before she had left that she seemed like her normal self. "To a kiss?" Teasing softly, she lifted an eyebrow. "I hope you wouldn't say no to me, Kenshin." Stilling his chin with light fingers, she planted a chaste kiss on his lips then pulled back before he could react to the contact. "Goodnight, Kenshin. I'll see you bright and early in the morning." Turning away she pushed open the tsumado and took a step inside. "Father should be arriving tomorrow so we will have plenty of preparing to do. Make sure you get some rest, too, okay?"

Catching her hand and squeezing he pulled her attention back, stopping her before she disappeared into the shadow of her pavilion. Sapphire irises turned back, looking into his violet and she saw his relief and knew she had made the right choice. He would have regretted that night if she had asked him to stay. Such a reaction would only harm the both of them later. "I love you, Kaoru."

"I love you, too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Kenshin stood listening to her movements a moment or two longer than was necessary, his eyes closed as he took comfort in her presence returned. Today had been her day of reassurance. Perhaps later he would demand a day of his own. It would be quite a long time, it seemed, before either of them truly relaxed without the physical security of having the other within reach. It would be difficult for now, but after he convinced her father to allow him to marry her, their separation would be less.

Shaking his head free of daydreams, he cast a final glance at the tsumado leading into her rooms and turned away. Before he could seek out his own bed he had one last order of business to attend to. The witch. After pondering her actions and the curse for the entire day he was comfortable enough with his own thoughts to finally confront her. It had taken much to keep him from marching into her shrine immediately after hearing Kaoru speak of the reason she had left. Kaoru's weary appearance and the fact that they hadn't finished talking had kept him in place long enough to calm down. Not that he was going to let the witch get away with her trickery without consequences. Though he did realize there was not much he could do to a woman that was already dead.

Taking the last step up the stairs to the door of the shrine, Kenshin paused with his hand already reaching to slide it open. Gritting his teeth, he twisted his wrist so that his knuckles were forward instead and rapped lightly on the door twice. There was no need to start the encounter in a way that would agitate either of them before anything was even said.

A soft voice that did not sound like the sorceress beckoned him in, but she was indeed the only person within the shrine when he slid the door aside. Frowning, he studied her shadowed features, the lone petal barely a flickering glow of luminance. There were strained wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, and she appeared to be older than he remembered. Even the once jet black hair on her head seemed faded. Only her eyes were still the same, a void of darkness staring back at him. They pierced him for several long seconds before drifting slowly away, a sigh leaving her lips.

"You are not happy with me. Not that I expected you to be otherwise." Stepping closer to the veranda she did not use any tricks to get closer to him like usual, and her grounded form surprised him. "I can think of only one reason why you would be here. Have you brought me the necklace as I asked?"

Face carefully schooled, he paced away from her down the walk, stopping before the only branch with a petal left. "No, I did not. I simply wished to talk."

"Talk?" She paused to consider him and the coolness of his tone. "Lord Himura… you do not seem to be a man nursing a broken heart." Face relaxing in shock, desperate steps brought her stumbling closer, her body still lower than his own on the ground surrounding the tree. "Did you have no love for her at all?" The question was nearly a cry of disbelief and alarm, and his violet eyes shot to her sharply.

"I have no intention of explaining the love I feel for her. Especially to you. Perhaps once you would have been able to understand, but you have clearly forgotten the experience over time."

Black eyes widened. "She's here, isn't she?"

"Yes, she's here. You were operating under the mistaken impression that I would believe the lies you fed me through her, or that I would let her stay gone. Have you truly forgotten what it is like to be in love? From what I understand of this plan you invented, it was to force me to experience the pain of losing the one I loved the most. How was her leaving me supposed to work? If I did not love her enough to have faith in the love she has for me, if I believed the words she spoke and let her leave, then I would not have truly loved her and the pain you wished for me to understand would have been barely half of what was expected. You thought this plan of yours through about as thoroughly as Kaoru-dono. Because I love her I will never let us be separated, especially by lies."

Dark hair slid forward as Tomoe ducked her chin into her chest, and when she next spoke the tremor that was working through her body was present in her voice. "I see. I suppose… I let myself believe it would work because I wanted so badly for it to."

"Why?" The chill in his question was fierce, his anger barely contained towards this woman that had so viciously manipulated and hurt the woman he loved. "Kaoru-dono is now under the mistaken impression that it is her own fault that the curse will remain. You deliberately hurt her, just as you deliberately hurt the rest of my people once before. No one else but me should take the full brunt of your wrath. I committed the crime against you; I am the monster that hurt you. How could you even consider hurting a child as good and loving as her?"

"Because it was better than the alternative!" A heart wrenching sob wracked her body, and one hand came up to cover the noise. "I never wanted to hurt her." The tears were obvious now, forcing Kenshin's tense muscles to slacken in shock. Uncertain, he watched her back into the trunk of the tree. "Not such a beautiful child. Not sweet Kaoru-chan. I even lied and said she could never come back, but there was no reason she couldn't. I was going to leave a message, with that wolf that visited, to tell you everything once the curse was broken that way you could find her. I thought I had planned everything so perfectly, but I was only desperate. I didn't want to hurt anyone else, but once I realized the truth about my own curse I began to despair. Why do you think it has taken me so long to take action? To find someone to love you? To help break this awful curse? How could I consider hurting her, you ask? No, Lord Himura, how could I consider hurting anyone?"

Kenshin swallowed, shaken by the first hand witnessing of her grief and the confirmation of truth he did not want to hear. "Then I was correct in assuming. It is no simple departure that will break this curse… I would have to lose her forever." A watery affirmative solidified the fact further, and Kenshin too had to back into something bracing. "I thought so." Heavy red lashes fell to hide his emotions. "To understand your pain, to know the pain I gave to each and everyone of my victims, I too must lose the one I love. Not to another. Not to separation. But to Death."

"When I set the boundaries I thought only to make you see what you have done to me and to others. I never thought… I never dreamed… _this_…" A gasping breath of fear shot her head up to lock eyes with him. "You must never tell her! She'll…"

"Do you think me a fool?"

"No. Of course not."

Letting out a breath, Kenshin grimaced at the twisting of the witch's features. Only one other time had she shown him such weaknesses. Since the day she cast the curse her appearance had always been controlled and calculating. To see that this situation was affecting her in any way was strange but also encouraging. It meant that she too cared for Kaoru.

"Forgive me. I know you are only concerned for her."

Nodding to accept his apology, Tomoe stared at the pink dust particles beneath her feet. "A concern that will not be necessary for long. That petal will fall tonight and it will be too late for any action to reverse my sin."

"Will it?"

Frowning, Tomoe looked up, confused by his questioning when the answer was more than obvious. "What do you mean? You couldn't possibly be thinking of hurting her yourself."

Standing straight once more, Kenshin stepped to the edge of the walk, violet eyes shooting to her in irritation before studying the final petal. "Of course not. I have a second purpose for appearing before you tonight. I was going to present you with a proposition, but that would mean I was certain of my words. It is more of an idea, really. One that I would like to ask your opinion on."

"You have thought of something? An alternative?" There was guarded hope in her voice, and a sheen of vibrancy partially dispelled her dilapidated shell.

"An idea." Reaffirming, Kenshin reached out a hand to the final petal, but it did not react to him like Kaoru's necklace had. Its fading form stood as a neutral party. "From what I have understood from you about the time limit on this curse, I was given as much time to break it as it took for each of these petals to fall. I am uncertain of this part, but tell me, Kiyosato-dono, do the petals also have to shatter?"

The respectful use of her married name briefly caught her off guard, forcing her eyes closed. "I do not think it matters whether they shatter or not, Lord Himura. The reason they fall is because they are no longer alive. Once all of the life and magic they have taken from me is dissipated then they turn dark and die. It is the absence of magic that places a limit on the curse. Without any magic left to reverse what I have cast, then there is no way for you to be changed back."

"Ah." His answer was pleased, and her curiosity rose. Stepping away from the tree she approached the veranda.

"You are thinking of the necklace, aren't you?" Sight turning inward, she contemplated his direction of thought. "The last few times I have seen the necklace it has appeared to be still strong with life and energy. Much stronger, in fact, than any of the ones that ever hung upon the tree. I wouldn't even be able to properly gauge how much longer it might last."

"But if you had to guess, what would you say?"

"Years. Many years. Perhaps even another hundred."

Kenshin let his eyes close on a sigh, the action relieved. When they opened once again he actually smiled at her. "My proposition to you, Lady Sorceress, is to let Kaoru-dono keep that necklace. Let her nurture it and protect it until the end of her natural life, fifty or sixty years from now, and when she finally does pass away the requirements of your curse should be met. There will still be enough of your magic left to undo it, I will suffer the loss that you wished, and everyone innocent will be free. Do you think it possible for this to work?"

Blinking, amazed, Tomoe pressed a hand to her mouth. "I… I think it might. Since you have already lived more than a thousand lifetimes, losing her now or losing her later will affect you just the same. You will still live on after she has gone, and since you will not age her loss will always be premature. Do you think you can handle watching her age in front of you?"

"What a meaningless question. What difference will it make to me what she looks like? She loves me despite my appearance. How could I ever do anything less?"

_That was not what I meant, young Himura._ Smiling, Tomoe nodded. The fear of the inevitable would only help meet the requirements, and so there was no need to place doubt now. This plan was much more plausible than hers had been. "And what will you do afterwards? Will you hasten your trip to be by her side once the others have been freed?"

"No. They do not deserve to be abandoned. I will stay for the remainder of my natural life and help them to adapt and incorporate this new era we have found ourselves in. We cannot stay isolated forever."

"Very good. You have indeed grown into a much better lord than your father ever was."

Strangely subdued by such praise from this woman, Kenshin felt a moment of guilt that was quite unnatural when aimed towards her. "This proposition will unfortunately require you to delay your reunion with your loved ones. It is quite a selfish request on my part, and I am sorry that I am once again the reason for your separation."

"Do not feel sorrow. I have done this to myself. It is the least I can do to release your people from this wretched curse. Besides, I would not be able to greet my loved ones with an open heart if I still held regret for the lives I have condemned."

"Then I will thank you for the extended time. I promise not to squander it." Inclining his head in a slow salute, Kenshin turned on his heel to march towards the door. "If you will excuse me, Kiyosato-dono. Kaoru-dono's father will be here tomorrow and I must think carefully on how to ask for his permission to keep her. If all goes well, which I am expecting it will, then she will be my wife in a few days." Stopping, he looked at her directly for his next statement. "I would be honored if you offered a blessing for our union."

"Of course, Lord Himura, that is wonderful news." Brow curling, she watched as he reached the exit. It was regrettable that they would not be able to conceive a child together because of the curse. Tomoe was sure Kaoru would be more than agreeable to motherhood. Lord Himura himself had the makings of a good parent, as well. Shaking her head, she decided not to dampen the hope his visit had fostered. Later, when his happiness was not so fragile, she would speak to him on the matter. It was quite possible he was already aware, anyway.

_He did not ask me about the wolf._ The realization was surprising, and she lifted a hand to stop him before he made it fully out the door. Outside, a loud shout from across the yard interrupted her. With the door still open she could just make out the large shadow of what looked like a large canine slide to a stop in front of the steps. Panting, the creature ducked its head in a quick show of respect before giving its report.

"Bandits, my lord. Heading for the front gate." Saitou's rough voice rasped as if he had run long and hard. "I did not get a good count, but it looks to be about fifty or so. They attacked the lady's father last night after you left. It seems their leader wishes to take her from you." The wolf in question made the shocking announcement, and Tomoe gasped in surprise. Kenshin shot her a glance.

"Stay inside." His hand snapped the door closed and she wondered if he had thought about what he was saying to her. Tomoe couldn't leave her shrine even if she had wanted to.

Marching down the steps, Kenshin headed straight for the front gate. "What happened to my patrols? How did they get so close to the palace without me finding out?"

"They have been in sight of the palace for weeks, my lord, but they have made no move towards us. Such things have happened many times over the centuries. I suppose we have been too reliant on their fear of this place. We have kept an eye on them, but I regret not spying. We would have heard their intentions long before this."

"Where are my patrols now?"

"Two are following them, one of them is mine. They are not large enough to openly attack. The rest are either too far away to be of any help or sleeping."

"Wake everyone. Have your patrol sent to maintain a border between the palace and the city. Send word to Kogorou, Soujirou, Sanosuke, and Aoshi. I must see them at once. Where is Kaoru's father now?"

"I left him with two of my men. They will keep him safe, but he insisted that he would be coming. He is too injured to fight, but he would not be talked down. I can't say for sure how close he is to getting here."

"Stubborn fool." Grumbling, Kenshin waved a short dismissal. "Have my men meet me at the front gate."

"Yes sir."

Saitou bounded away in a hurry, leaving Kenshin to march towards the gate by himself. Within moments an alarm sounded, banging a harsh rhythm to alert those within that trouble was coming from without. Life stirred around him in confusion, noises of alarm and disbelief. Giving direction, he ordered those in his sight who were untrained for battle to flee back towards the city. Those few he came across who could fight were sent to escort the rest of the residents away. The frequent stops caused him delay, and he was too far away from the front when he heard the lock break with a splintering crack. The invaders were within his walls.

"My lord!" Sano and Soujirou were the first to arrive, but his other two generals were nowhere in sight. Stopping with a quick nod, Soujirou spoke without preamble. This was war time now, and pleasantries were no longer needed or wanted. "Kogorou-san is out on patrol by the ridgeline, and Aoshi-san took his men out towards the mines early this afternoon. There was trouble at both locations. I suspect it was a diversion to split our forces."

Kenshin scowled. "Why was I not informed?"

"Don't blame him, it was my fault." Sano looked irritated and ready for a fight. "The lady just got back and I didn't want anyone bugging you so you could fix whatever problem you were having. I'm sorry. I'll accept my punishment gladly."

"There's no time for that now. Soujirou, I want you to find my lady. You will protect her with your life."

"Yes sir." A serious nod was all that was given before the cheetah disappeared.

"Sanosuke, have the men fence in the intruders. I will not have them infiltrating my palace. Push them back."

"That will spread our numbers really thin."

"Against children like these there should be no problems."

"Yes sir."

Chaos was in full rule of the palace as he neared the gate, his people fleeing, loud shouts and laughter echoing in the air. Noises of looting told him that the intruders were so far unchallenged and relaxed enough to leave themselves open. As he stepped around the side of his own pavilion, though, his appearance was startling enough to freeze those within sight in their tracks. The looting within continued.

"I wondered when you would show that ugly face of yours."

Hard violet eyes searched the wide-eyed men in front of him, looking for the owner of the voice. The effort was soon wasted when the owner made himself known, stepping boldly forward as if completely unafraid of his unnatural appearance. Green irises were arrogant and derisive as they stared back at him, and Kenshin felt an innate reaction of irritation for his rudeness.

"All alone, monster? It's a pretty big place for just one."

Laughter from inside cut through the air, and Kenshin's violet eyes swung to his tsumado as they burst open, a man with his arms full of gold and other riches stumbling out. "Boss! You wouldn't believe…!" Trailing off he caught sight of Kenshin from out of the corner of his eye, his head swiveling towards him slowly. "Holy… shit…" Dropping everything in his hands, he backed away, tripping his way off the veranda. "What the hell is that?!"

As Kenshin watched the man try to escape his reach the vague form of shadows in the dark could be seen creeping up from the side. "No. I will assure you that I am not alone here in this palace." Ignoring the others as they whispered and eyed him cautiously, Kenshin answered their apparent leader. A sneer of disgust contorted the young man's features and Kenshin was surprised by his sudden transition into rage.

"I'm well aware of that, you beast! You have my woman somewhere in here and I have come to get her back!"

Coldness pierced Kenshin's heart and the expression on his face stiffened at the implications of his words. "You are sorely mistaken, _boy,_ if you think I will just hand her over to you and this rabble of dishonorable men."

"Make no mistake, you hideous creature, I will have Kaoru one way or the other, and I will do whatever I want to with her. She belongs to _me_!"

There was a tremor in his hands and voice that spoke not of fear but something closer to insanity. It was a touch unnerving because it meant the boy was obviously unstable. Anyone in such a state had no sense of boundaries or morals. They were as dangerous as a starving, wounded animal. There was just no way of telling what he would do to get what he thought was rightfully his.

Eyeing him, Kenshin let out a measured breath. Insanity was something he had more than enough experience facing. "My lady belongs here with me where she will be honored and protected from appalling men like you for her entire life. You will speak of her with more respect or I will have that tongue out of your head."

The tension in the air snapped as restrained violence unleashed, but instead of charging blindly like Kenshin had expected, the man jerked his head instead, a signal to attack. The presence behind him lunged forward, Kenshin sidestepped neatly, and a harsh growl then grunt landed the would-be ambusher on his face with a very large, well-groomed dog latched onto his back. A moment of silence fell over the yard, the dog's mahogany eyes sweeping the number of enemy, before Sanosuke lifted his head and shouted in a clear voice.

"Attack!"

X

A/N: So it's shorter than the last few, but that made me happy. Unfortunately, it took me much too long to write it, but with Christmas and visiting family and working all this overtime, I felt awful when I was home and practically useless when it came to trying to write. Anyway, here it is now, and I hope you have enjoyed it.

So, the boys are still being tightlipped about what they know, and Koshijirou is none to happy about it. He's wounded but alive, but not in any condition to be joining any battles. Saitou has gotten off the hook somehow now that Kenshin is aware that he knows of the curse, but I guess that's what happens when the palace gets attacked. There isn't much time for reprimands. Tomoe is not a bad woman. In fact, she was always a good woman who had something horrible happen to her. I hope I have portrayed her alright. I never wanted anyone to hate her, but it was helpful to make her seem like she was still bent on her revenge. I hope you have all understood this. In light of hearing their conversation about how to break the curse, sending Kaoru away was better than engineering her death. Tomoe does not want that to happen almost as much as Kenshin does not want that to happen. The proposition was very thoughtful on Kenshin's part, however. Another reason why Kaoru should have never done everything alone to begin with. Kenshin is much older and in consequence much more experienced than she in many things. His ideas as well will be more in depth. I wonder, though, did anyone notice an inconsistency? XD

So the attack has arrived. I need this to be a bit more serious than everyone is thinking it will be. I realize I have put this image in everyone's mind that the palace was a staging ground for a war once before. However, that was a thousand years before, and if you remember, Tomoe took out the army. All that is left is the palace guard, the city guard, and the lord's ninja assassins. Kogorou, the leader of the palace guard is up on the ridgeline with a large group of men, while Aoshi has taken the Oniwabanshu to the mines to track another threat. That leaves what city guard that is not out on patrol to protect the city from intruders, and the few remaining palace guards to rout out the invaders. They are both an elite group, so they are few but powerful. They have experience on the intruders, but the intruders have height and weapon advantage. Sorry that I have had to explain that here in the author's notes, but I'm afraid in the midst of the fighting and excitement that it might not come across very clearly. I will try my hardest to do this, even though I have taken the time to explain here. Thank you for waiting, thank you for reading, and please let me thank you for reviewing as well!

In the next chapter, the intruders break through, Kaoru navigates the chaos, and Kenshin tries to defend his people and his lover… it will not be an easy feat without his sword. Please review!


	42. To Protect the One I Love

I see some of you are suspicious while others are resigned. No one has argued with my inconsistency, however. I hope you will not be confused in the end.

Wow. This got to be really long.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, and no one owns me.

**Chapter 42: To Protect the One I Love**

Noise, abrupt, harsh and metallic startled Kaoru out of her fitful sleep. Jerking awake, she fought with her covers then froze as the noise continued for long moments. It was constant, rhythmic, and jarring as it echoed in her chest over and over and over again. An instinctive fear took root in her belly, and she stared wide-eyed into the darkness of her room.

"Milady!"

Misao's loud voice was startling, and her blue eyes turned blindly towards the door. "Misao-san?"

"Milady! The alarm! We need to leave!"

"But… what's going on?" Uncertain, Kaoru pushed back her covers and stood.

"I don't know. The cadence… it says we are being invaded, but that doesn't make any sense. We have been isolated for too long to have any enemies."

"The palace is under attack?" Shocked, Kaoru fumbled to the door, her eyes adjusting slowly to the gloom of shadows. Misao's small form was just a hint of darker space near her feet.

"Yes, milady. Please, we need to fall back into the city. The guard will take care of the intruders. We must retreat to safety."

The wavering depression and self-disgust of the day still held her tightly, and she frowned. "But… I could help." No thought of truly protecting anything came to mind, however, only a desperation to fix what wrong she had done. "I can fight, Misao-san." Shaky and almost possessed she nodded; fighting now would absolve her of her sin.

Misao frowned, too. The tone in her mistress' voice was not normal, nor pleasing to hear. The sound was rather frantic, as if she were rationalizing. It was not strength she was displaying, but recklessness. "No, milady. You will come with me. We are going to retreat."

"But everyone…"

"No. You are not thinking clearly. What would you fight with? Who are you fighting? Why are you so willing to jump into a battle you are not prepared for? Milady, you will follow me out of here so that I may keep you safe. I have been trained just for this purpose. Do not disrespect my responsibilities towards you or my master."

"But that's not…" Faltering, Kaoru slumped. The last time she had done anything on her own she had only made a mess of things.

"We need to fall back and assess the situation. The master will take care of the attack." Thinking quickly, aware that she was in no position to force the lady to do anything in her current form, Misao's voice gentled persuasively. "Why don't you focus your efforts on defense instead? While the master is preoccupied with the fighting we will need guidance and care from another. You are next in the chain of command as his lady. Or soon-to-be lady anyway. Everyone will be looking to you for reassurance and leadership."

"I-I see…" Swallowing, Kaoru briefly wondered if she was capable of such responsibility. Shaking her head, she scowled. Whether she thought she could or not she owed it to everyone to try. She had failed them once already; she could not fail them again. "Lead the way, Misao-san. I shall rely on you to fulfill your duty."

"Yes, milady." Relieved, Misao spun and hopped down into the hallway.

Outside they were besieged by a cacophony of sounds; rapid footsteps, startled shouts, and a deeper reverberation of pounding at the front gate. Overhead birds were in panicked flight, and Kaoru couldn't tell if they were wild animals or residents of the palace. Focusing, Kaoru took off after Misao, her lithe body slipping around corners and easily dodging any obstacles. Occasionally they stopped to help others to head off in the same direction, Misao's strong voice a grateful substitute for Kaoru's still wavering confidence.

The pounding at the gate continued, and Kaoru worried her lip. Whatever was out there really wanted to get in and she feared what would happen once the gate finally broke. The rumors about the palace had kept the residents safe for a thousand years, but words lost their potency over time. These new intruders could very well be a larger threat to the palace than the immediate situation. New rumors could be born from this mishap that could very well condemn them further.

A sudden shock of red out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she turned just in time to see Kenshin disappear from sight across one of the gardens. Slowing, she hesitated, a strange urge inside begging her to go after him. There was fear in the sensation and it gripped her heart so fiercely she gasped. Something was wrong, or was going to go wrong. This night was not going to end well. What if this was the last time she would ever see him?

"Come on, milady! We have to keep going!"

"But Kenshin…"

The loud splintering of wood ripped through the night followed by a harsh boom as the gate broke and dropped to the ground. The intruders had finally broken through.

"Please, milady! We need to get everyone to safety! The master will handle it! You have to trust him to handle it!"

"_Please, my lady… I want you to put your faith in me."_

Still unconfident, Kaoru let his remembered words win without a fight. "A-alright. Let's keep going."

Their passage through the palace structures continued in a flash, Kaoru's legs hampered by her sleeping robe as she jogged after the weasel. The maze-like path the servant had taken was twisting them close to the outer wall and the mostly deserted pavilions in the northern half. It was here that everything happened at once.

Kaoru caught sight of the lemur first, his ringed tail and glowing eyes an eerie vision during heightened adrenaline. After a brief spike in her heart rate, she noticed the spider monkey he was dragging after him. Unwilling to leave just yet, the cook was screaming at a small kitten that was running right towards Kaoru and her guide.

It took little time for Kaoru to catch onto the situation, and she bent down and scooped the small feline up into her arms. Struggling and mewling, the kitten tried to wriggle away. "Let me go! Please, I have to find Yahiko! I have to go to him!"

"Milady!" Tae, finally loose of her husband's grasp, slid to a stop in front of her. "Thank goodness you caught her!"

Trying to still the ball of fur, Kaoru clutched her tighter to her chest. "Tsubame please, you need to calm down! I'm sure Yahiko's fine!"

"No! I'm sure he's not! He was on patrol! It was his turn to go!"

"Which patrol?" Misao's voice snapped, startling them.

"Gate patrol! He was on gate patrol." Relaxing limply, Tsubame began to cry, the fight going out of her. "I heard the signal. The gate's been breached. That means… it means… Yahiko's dead!" Nose tucking into the crook of Kaoru's arm, Tsubame's cries became grief-stricken and loud.

Sharp pain struck Kaoru's heart and she bit her lip. Knowing that the palace was in danger had frightened her with the outcome. Hearing that the danger had affected someone close to her, someone she cared for, was different. It brought everything to a whole new level of feeling. Yahiko… he couldn't be dead. There was no way.

"He's not dead." The new voice was right behind her, and Kaoru jumped to spin towards the sleek cheetah. "Don't cry, Tsubame-chan, I promise you that Yahiko-kun is not dead."

"Soujirou-kun, what are you doing here?"

Sparing the weasel a brief look, his light blue eyes locked on Kaoru. "The master ordered me to find his lady and protect her, and so I shall." Frown lines appeared on Kaoru's forehead.

"But…"

"Do you mean it, Soujirou-san?" Pleading, Tsubame peeked over the lady's arm, her eyes desperately hopeful. "Is he really alive?"

"Of course he is. That boy is resourceful and intelligent. Besides, Yutarou-kun is with him. They may often fight each other, but they are a good team. I promise you."

"Thank you."

"We need to get moving." Katsu once again wrapped a hand around Tae's, but this time she clutched his hand back. "We can't just stand around here."

"He's right." Nodding, Soujirou signaled to Misao and the weasel hurriedly jumped forward.

"But to where?"

"The city barracks. From what I understand Saitou should have a barricade set up to keep the intruders out of the city should they get that far. We will be safe beyond that line."

"Right." Taking the lead, Misao scurried quickly forward. Katsu and Tae were close behind her with Kaoru following them, Tsubame still clutched in her arms. Soujirou brought up the rear, his silent paws a deadly reminder that he was skilled at what he did.

"Soujirou-kun?" Lowering her voice so that the others could not hear her, Kaoru peeked over her shoulder.

"Yes, my lady?"

"If you are here protecting me… then that means Kenshin is short a man to help fight off the intruders." The niggling sense that was squeezing her heart tightened with each step she took away from Kenshin. It was making it hard to breathe. She didn't know how much longer she could hold out against the terror it produced in her mind.

"Do not worry for him, my lady. He does not need me. The master is a powerful adversary."

"I believe you only… I cannot help but worry. Please, Soujirou-kun, I am in no danger. You have nothing to protect me from. Won't you go back and help him?"

Turning his head away from the look in her eyes, Soujirou frowned. "I cannot do that, my lady. My master ordered me to protect you with my life, and I shall respect his desire to keep the one he loves safe."

"That is all I want as well, Soujirou-kun." His eyes closed and she bit her quivering lip, the fear inside her mixing with other twisting emotions. "What if I went back? You would have to go with me, wouldn't you? To protect me, right? Then you could…"

"I would let you do no such thing." There was a harsh quality to his voice that clicked her teeth together. It seemed everyone was speaking to her in that way lately. Insides sinking, she felt more worthless than ever.

"My lady." Tsubame's sweet voice alerted her to the kitten's worry, and she absently petted her head.

"You're right, Soujirou-kun. I'm sorry." Tears sprang to her eyes and she found herself alarmingly close to crying like Tsubame had only minutes before. Why did it hurt this much when she had no cause to think Kenshin was dead or even in any credible danger of such peril?

A new alarm rang out and everyone stopped in their tracks. It had a different cadence to the earlier one, and Kaoru's heart skipped a beat. Growling, Soujirou's narrowed eyes glared over his shoulder in anger. "How did they get past Sano _and_ the master?"

Beneath her yukata the necklace burned urgently.

X

The confining space of the buildings gave Enishi the advantage. As the one bearing a weapon his reach was longer, and thereby allowed him to corner Kenshin who neither had a weapon nor the agility to maneuver within the tight spaces. With his wings hampering his swift movements and his talons giving his position away each time he stepped, he was fast learning that fighting in this form was not easy. Dodging one more close swipe, Kenshin glowered at the light in his opponent's eyes. Their green depths said that he knew he had the upper hand.

Around him he was aware of the other fights that were in progress. His men were holding their own well, but with so few numbers to counter the large invading group there was no real chance that they could keep them all from entering. They were at too much of a disadvantage fighting in animal forms against enemies that had weapons. There were already a few of his men that had fallen.

"Is that all you can do is run away?" Sneering, Enishi swung hard, his attack missing his target as Kenshin jumped and destroyed one of the veranda posts instead. Taking chase after his prey, he purposefully struck several more of the braces, causing the roof to buckle and cave in behind him.

The boy was right. He could not win this fight if he focused only on defense. Somehow he needed to find a way to attack. Unfortunately he had not been trained in hand to hand combat. Kenshin was most comfortable with a sword. However, he had vowed long ago never to pick up a sword again. At the time it was not because he had truly thought like Kaoru who did not believe in taking life, but was instead sickened by the ease in which life was taken by his sword. Now, he had no plans to use a weapon because he wanted to believe, like Kaoru, that life was too precious to take away.

Not officially trained to fight with his hands, he could still use his reflexes to his advantage. Vaulting to the roof of one of the buildings, Kenshin's feet easily gripped the cypress shingles. Dodging again, he jumped to the next building, and extended a wing to catch the boy in mid air. Knocked to the side, Enishi skidded on the shingles, trying to find purchase but Kenshin was already on top of him. Now in the open, he could use his wings as an advantage instead. Snapping them back to increase his speed, he caught Enishi in the gut and threw them both into the adjacent roof.

The combined weight and force crashed them through the structure, hurling them inside the pavilion. Kicking off of the boy before they landed, Enishi grunted upon impact, air forcing itself from his lungs. Wheezing, he managed to gain his feet, but before he could lash out his dominate arm was seized in an iron-like grip and he was jerked abruptly forward. Flying through the air once more, he hit the inner rice paper panels, tearing them apart easily, and smashed into the outer wall. Wood groaned and splintered as Enishi coughed up blood.

"Damn you!" Swinging wildly, he backed Kenshin off until he could stand. Skillfully evading his attacks Kenshin followed his movements. Though he seemed to be blindly attacking there was still an ingrained pattern within the moves. Aware that he could see better in the dark than the boy could, Kenshin avoided the spray of light from the hole and played off the dark shadows it created. Waiting for his opening, he caught the sword in one abrupt moment of action, fisted his other hand in his clothing and kicked them both back into the air.

Shooting back out the opening they had created Kenshin used one hard wing beat to give him momentum, twisted and threw the boy again. Crashing into another pavilion, he briefly disappeared within the dark building. This time, though, Enishi had enough time and freedom to recover from the fall. Still airborne, Kenshin watched as the boy shot back out of the building sooner than he had anticipated, blood dripping from his hairline and off one arm. Weapon menacingly flashing in the moonlight, he struck out at Kenshin, his speed alarming. With nothing to block the attack with, Kenshin was forced to throw up a wing, crying out in pain when the sharp blade bit into tissue and bone.

Landing, Kenshin grunted, one hand coming up to cover the wound spearing down his chest. It was shallow, only the tip of the blade having reached his torso. What was left of his left wing hung limp and useless down his back. The sacrifice had been unfortunate but necessary. Kenshin could not afford to lose any of his other limbs, nor let the blow land uncontested. Such a strike would have claimed his life.

"No more flying around now, monster. Your acrobatics were getting annoying." Taunting him, Enishi spit blood onto the shingles, his smile a sick combination of red and white. "You almost look like a man without that wing. Would you like me to rid you of the other?"

Absently looking at the blood decorating the palm of his hand as he withdrew it from his wound, Kenshin's voice was soft. "Kaoru loved flying."

"What did you say?" There was still a hint of mocking laughter in his voice.

"Now I will never get to take her again." Sighing, he dropped his hand and leveled violet eyes on his foe. "That upsets me."

"You're upset?" The scorn on his features turned abruptly into rage. "You have no right to be upset. Whatever pain I inflict upon you is well deserved. That's _my_ woman you've got locked up in here somewhere. She's going to be _my_ wife. She was meant to be mine since we were kids, and I fully plan on making sure that happens."

A frown of recognition contorted Kenshin's face, and he backed up a few steps as Enishi casually advanced. "I know who you are. You are that boy Kaoru was betrothed to as a child."

A sickeningly pleased grin jerked at his lips. "So you've heard of me? That means Kaoru's been reminiscing. She's missed me, hasn't she?"

Features turning droll, Kenshin stopped on the ridgeline of the roof, his left foot fighting for purchase as blood from his mangled wing dripped down his leg. "On the contrary she was quite glad to be rid of your engagement. It seems she was already set on running away before marrying the likes of you."

Muscles twitched in Enishi's face, his grin turning into a scowl. "Well… we'll see how eager she is once I get rid of you for her. No one else is going to want her anyway after she's been defiled by a beast."

"That is where you and I are different." Standing tall as the boy approached, Kenshin tensed his muscles subtly. "I would never defile my lady in such a dishonorable way. I fully plan on making her my wife." Enishi stopped, his green eyes showing confusion. "Kaoru accepted my proposal last night. Willingly."

Losing grip of his control, Enishi cried out angrily and made a lunge for Kenshin's precariously balanced form. Letting his foot slip, Kenshin sidestepped the jabbing sword point and grabbed a handful of Enishi's clothing. Momentum dragging them both down the other side of the roofing, Kenshin blocked Enishi's sword arm as they slid. Pressing his hand roughly into the passing shingles, the pain finally forced the boy to let go only moments before they were pitched into the darkness. Wrestling, they landed with a harsh thump in the dirt, both grunting from the impact. The sword sheathed itself in the earth dangerously close to their momentarily still forms, both sets of eyes glancing at it simultaneously. Kicking, Enishi briefly dislodged the palace lord's weight from him and quickly scrambled towards it, his hand reaching. Ripping at whatever he could grasp, Kenshin drug him backwards away from the weapon. Twisting the foot he had a hold of he forced a cry of pain from Enishi's lips before gaining his feet. Snatching up the sword, Kenshin whipped his arm in one smooth motion, sending the weapon away from them and into the shadows.

Clambering to his feet, ignoring the pain in the one that was twisted, Enishi launched bodily into Kenshin's torso. "What are you crazy?" Dirt-rolling them across the yard, Enishi threw a punch, catching Kenshin in the jaw. "What made you think you could beat me hand to hand?" Grunting, Kenshin took another punch, his wounds aching from abuse. "I've clearly got the advantage. For a monster, you're almost puny!" Kneeing him in the gut, Enishi watched him wheeze, triumphant that he was once again the one with the upper hand. Standing, he stomped a foot down on his uninjured wing, grinding the small bones of its structure under his sandal. "At least with the sword you might have stood a chance."

"No. You would already be dead."

"What?"

Jerking his wing he overbalanced the taller man and stood, his speed coming back after so long of disuse. Grabbing him firmly by the collar, Kenshin spun and tossed him one more time, the force of his fall giving strength to the act. Busting through braces and into the outer wall, the roof collapsed on top of him, burying the boy under thick debris. Panting, Kenshin grimaced as his muscles twitched in protest. The exertion it took to throw the boy around was finally taking its toll. It was a different sort of work out than he was used to. Steadying his breath as the dust settled, Kenshin relaxed. The boy was not getting back up.

Grinding his jaw as the pain reasserted itself, he unconsciously contracted his wings and the muscles in his back tensed in abrupt shock. The pain of the one cut off was burning, but his other was now broken in certain places that would not allow it to fold. Dragging the ground behind him it felt like a knife was twisting inside him with each small jolt. Kaoru would not be happy when she saw him. Lips twitching in anticipating amusement, he pictured the scolding he was going to receive when it was all over with. Letting her fuss over him for awhile didn't seem like such a bad thing.

Noises not far behind him tore him from his daydream and he turned. Someone was fighting close by, and by the cries he could tell that it was not going well for his subject. Hurrying to help, Kenshin hopped up on the walkway and ran to intervene, his pain forgotten

Knocking aside boards and debris, Enishi glared at the lord's retreating figure. He obviously thought he had beaten him. He would pay for that assumption. Enishi was going to kill that beast before the night was over.

X

The intruders were too far into the palace for Sano's liking. One step past the entranceway was too far, but now that they were well into the quarter section it was getting harder and harder to keep track of them let alone contained. Too many of his men had fallen, and with too few at his disposal to begin with he was fast losing what chance they ever had to win. Growling low in his throat, Sano circled the man he was following, slipped up under the walkway, and raced to the other side of the building. Ambushing the bandit before he even knew what had hit him; Sano clamped his teeth around the man's leg and maimed him without mercy. Going next for his arm, he made sure the man would never hold a weapon again. Killing had never really been his style, but he wasn't going to let that stop him from making sure his opponent wasn't a threat anymore.

Bounding away as the man screamed in pain and anger, Sano tracked his way diagonally through the palace. His men were stretched thin, and it was almost necessary to sweep the buildings in a zigzag pattern to cover as much ground as possible. Occasionally they overlapped, which was good. This helped him keep track of his men and up to date with the status of the engagement.

Roughly fifty men had broken through into the palace. Sano had never really been good at keeping track of numbers, but he estimated that they had taken at least a quarter of them down. It wasn't enough. That left too many.

Irritated, Sano angled his path slightly up, his destination a reason why he had chosen this track of the palace. The infirmary was on this side and he had to check to make sure the place was clear. A part of him hoped that they had all evacuated during the first alarm, and yet he knew the lead physician. She was a stubborn, headstrong woman that would insist on staying if she had any cause to. With the fighting going on, she would have insisted she stayed just in case.

With a sinking feeling in his gut he heard raised voices, loud demands, and sick laughter. Crashing announced the torment of the ones inside the building, and Sano growled low before barreling through the broken door. There were, in fact, three men wrecking havoc within the structure; two of them tossing around bedding and rummaging through cabinets and the other taunting someone in the far corner. Eyes widening, Sano cursed. How could he have forgotten? They had turned the infirmary into a place to keep the orphans a long time ago. With no one getting sick, it was almost a waste of space not to use it.

Backed into the corner was indeed the vixen, but behind her were ten or so children and two of the other assisting physicians. They were all small, non-predatory animals, and the fox was the only one looking as if she would put up a fight. With teeth bared and a low noise wavering somewhere between a growl and a hiss coming from her throat, she looked about as pissed as a wet cat. Laughing, the man poked at her with his sword, forcing her to twitch backwards and then laughing harder as she snapped her teeth at him in warning. Feeling overwhelmingly protective, Sano charged forward, uncaring of the other two as they spun in shock to watch him. Growling loudly, he landed between the bandit's shoulder blades and tackled him to the floor.

Shouting in alarm, the man tried to roll to throw him off, Sano barking loudly in his ear. Skidding to the side as he was finally dislodged, Sano latched onto the man's hand, sinking his teeth deep into the flesh. Screaming in anger, the man twisted to swing at him with his sword, but Sano let go at the last second. Curled awkwardly, the man was unprepared to counter when Sano jumped him again, mauling his shoulder. Beating at him with the hilt, the man screamed in desperation for the others to help him. Unwilling to let go, Sano bit harder, tearing sinew and muscle until the sword dropped with a clatter to the floor.

The others were almost on top of him now and Sano ducked back to avoid the strike aimed for him. Not expecting him to be so quick, the second bandit was alarmed when his swing cut straight through air and into his buddy on the floor. Slicing the first man open, he was dead before the other could pull back.

"Shit! You stupid mutt! Look what you made me do!"

Backing up slowly, Sano's mahogany eyes glared up at his second attacker, warily watching the sword in his hand. A cry of panic rippled through the children, and his eyes swung to them, horrified to find the third man stepping towards the orphans instead. There was purposeful intent in his step and Sano knew he was going to get rid of all obstacles and distractions before going back to his looting.

Snapping suddenly at the second man, Sano shot past him the moment he reared back. Digging his nails into the wooden flooring, he darted across the room to intervene. Skidding to a stop, he placed himself between the attacker and his prey, his hackles rising as he growled in deep warning. It gave the third man pause, the second cursing as he moved to follow. Aware he was outnumbered and probably outmatched, Sano gnashed his teeth and hoped they thought he was rabid.

Two very distinctive roars came from behind the two bandits, and Sano took advantage of the distraction it caused to launch an attack on the third man in front of him. Latching onto his arm, he used his jaw muscles to tighten the hold he had on him and pushed with his back legs to drop him down to his level. Barreling forward into his chest, he knocked him over and unceremoniously ripped at his throat.

Looking up quickly to the second one, the man's voice screaming in terror and pain, Sano found two large felines attached to him. One was unmarked and tan, the other striped orange and black. "Hell, it's the brats!" The man finally toppled over under the weight of their bodies, and the striped cat looked up from his perch in the middle of his back to growl at Sano. "Watch who you're calling a brat you mutt!"

"Yahiko!" Indignant and annoyed, the other huffed as the man rolled over, dislodging them both. "Pay attention, servant boy! You let him get away!"

"_I_ did?" Swiping a large paw at his leg, Yahiko swept his feet right out from under him. "What were you doing, rich boy?"

Belly flopping across his torso, Yutarou pinned the man to the floor. "All the work! The least you could do is keep him down so I can finish him off!"

"Whatever, you lazy pain in the ass." Whapping him hard with his front paw, Yahiko ricocheted the man's head off the hard flooring and knocked him out. "Take a nap, scumbag."

Assured that all three of the men were now taken care of, Sano spun towards the group huddled in the corner. Cinnamon eyes met his squarely and for a moment he forgot what he was going to say. Shaking himself, he checked her over, reassured by the absence of any visible wounds. Swallowing, he nudged his head to one side, indicating the others. "Is everyone alright?" A few of the children were crying, but the bigger ones nodded, their bodies trembling instead of their voices. The two assistants answered, their jobs forcing them to be used to violence and bloodshed, and began checking over the kids. The fox was still staring with those eyes that he could never figure out.

Features twitching, very much aware there was blood all over him, Sano looked at the others but spoke to her. "You alright, fox?"

"Of course."

_Yeah. Right. She can handle herself._ The surety in her tone instantly rubbed him the wrong way and hardened his voice. "That's good, but what are you still doing on this side of the palace? Didn't you hear the evacuation order?"

"We heard it."

"But you ignored it, right?" Irritation entered his voice, and he growled. "That's reckless, fox, real reckless."

"A few of the younger ones hid when they heard the noise. I wasn't going to leave them behind." An offended note took the place of her bland speech.

"Fine, but why didn't you send the others on ahead? You could have asked for help. There was plenty of time." The volume of his voice rose another degree.

"Help from who? It was chaos when the alarm sounded."

"The infirmary is not far from the palace barracks, you could have asked one of the men."

"They were all needed at the gate. I wasn't going to keep them from the fight." Her own voice lifted to match his, fighting to be dominate.

"Stupid woman! You could have been killed!"

"And what do you care?!"

The entire room was quiet as the yelling match abruptly stalled. Shifting uncertainly, Yahiko cleared his throat. "Um, you guys, this might not be the best…"

"Shut up!" Both turning on him, Yahiko ducked his head and wisely did as he was told.

"Look here fox, you're the head physician. You're important to the palace. You can't just recklessly put yourself in harms way. Too many people depend on you, especially now."

"Oh, so that's how it's going to go. Let's just throw this off on everyone else. Fine, you idiot mutt! I thought you were gaining some sense, but I see it's just a big charade. I hope you're happy with your new status. It certainly suits your shallow attitude."

Perturbed, Sano unconsciously used his size to tower over her. "Dammit fox! What the hell do you want from me? I'm trying to do this right but you twist everything around!"

"Do what right? Your job? Well don't let me keep you!" Snide and unconcerned by his attempt at intimidation, Megumi sniffed.

Swearing forcefully, Sano rubbed a front leg over his head harshly in exasperation. "You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met!" Dropping his paw, he tilted his head, his posture a mixture of anger and confusion. "Don't you realize I came here for you?!" Pausing to let his words sink in and bring contriteness to her features, he glowered in annoyance. "I had no intention of coming near you until I straightened my shit out, but I would never let that decision put you in any danger. To hell with everyone else! What the hell was _I_ suppose to do? If I lost you like that… I'd never have a chance of getting you back."

Tension leaving quicker than it came, Megumi slumped, her eyes drifting to the floor. "Oh."

Grumbling, Sano sat down. "Come on, fox. Don't do that. I like it better when you look me in the eye and tell me off."

Exhaling a trembling breath, Megumi lifted her chin. "Come see me later and I'll have something appropriately worked out." Smiling weakly at his soft chuckle, she sighed and jerked her head. "We need to get these young ones out of here first."

Still grinning, he hopped up. "It's a deal."

"About time." Grumbling Yahiko stood as well.

"What did you say brat?"

"Clean out your ears old man! I said it's about damn time!"

"Just because Soujirou is your commanding officer does not mean I can't punish you, _kitty_."

"Whatever, mutt. Let's just get going."

Walking to the door as they herded the orphans together, Sano glanced outside. Now that he was reassured and his chest now longer clenched in unknown fear he knew what had to be done. He couldn't afford to escort anyone. He's presence was needed on the battlefield. "Listen up." Speaking over his shoulder without looking, he addressed his subordinates in a tone that was more suited to his position. "You two escort them to the city barracks. Make sure they arrive safely."

"Hey! What about you?" Indignant that they were going to be stuck on babysitting duty, both of the large cats spoke up.

"You two forget that I'm the only commanding officer out there besides the master, and he's got his hands full. I need to get back to my job. You two do as I say and then come back if you can. We'll need all the help we can get, but the safety of the residents is top priority. You got that?"

"Yes sir."

"Don't sound so enthusiastic. I said do you got that?"

"Yes sir!"

Hopping down off the veranda, he sighed as a voice hurriedly called after him before he could disappear. "Wait, Sanosuke!" The vixen stood in the doorway when he half-turned and he was amused by the worried set of her face. "Don't be stupid, alright? You have to come back. I…I…" Struggling, she seemed undecided on whether she should say any more or not.

Taking pity, he grinned. "Yeah, I know, fox. Me, too." The admission alone was worth the shocked and yet disbelieving and then happy look that lit her eyes. Later he would have to make sure he said it properly. "See ya… fox." Leaving her with a wink, he took off on his run, making his way slowly towards the barrier where palace met city.

X

The front gate was busted and gapping when Koshijirou, his three students, and their two escorting wolves finally made it to the palace. Panting, aching, and seeing spots, the master stumbled along next to Haruki. The brothers had periodically taken turns helping him, but during the last few miles Haruki had all but dragged Koshijirou. His legs were getting too weak to support his own weight, and because of his shoulder they had been forced to put his left arm in a sling. Too stubborn to give up and let the palace take care of his daughter, Koshijirou had insisted. For their own reasons both the boys and the wolves had argued very little. Inside his bleary mind, Koshijirou was beginning to suspect that they wished to be there just as much as he.

Where the palace had been neat, tidy, and clean the last time he had visited, the intrusion had left destruction in its wake. Smoke was pluming through the air, shown by a reddish glow off in the distance, and Koshijirou vaguely recognized the sign as fire. Buildings near the front were ransacked and doors were broken. Bodies of dead animals and only a few men were scattered about the courtyard. It was a sad twist on the beautiful palace his daughter had grown to love and cherish. On either side of them the two quiet wolves cursed under their breath.

Slumping, feeling lightheaded again, he heard the boys talking and soon he was sitting on one of the walkways. Taking a few sips of water, he concentrated on his breathing. It shouldn't have been so hard, but the pain in his shoulder was beginning to burn, spreading its fiery clutches outward from the wound. Sweat was beading on his forehead and he knew he was fighting off an infection. It couldn't be helped, though. He needed to find his daughter, and he needed to find her quick. Something was urging him towards her; something that was demanding he be there.

"Master." Vaguely he realized they had been calling him for awhile now. "Master." Focusing with difficulty on Haruki's face, dulled blue eyes blinked.

"What is it, boy?"

Dark eyes glanced away and Koshijirou slid his attention from him to Kazuki and then Ren. Both of the other boys were already looking off toward the center of the palace, their black eyes intense and focused as if drawn there.

"The fighting is that way. What do you wish to do?" The question was a formality, Koshijirou could feel it. They were eager, too eager, to leave and join the battle.

"What, boy, _are _you going to do?"

All three sets of eyes darted to him, and he laughed. "You still think me a fool. I know there is something going on, I just don't know what. Right now…" Leaning against the post next to him, he sighed. "I really don't care, as long as it is not a danger to my daughter."

"No, sir!" All three chorused at once, and he was reassured by the sincerity in their answer. "Rest assured, Master." Ren's timid voice spoke in that way that did not suit him, forcing Koshijirou's eyes back open. "Our purpose is for Kaoru-san's wellbeing."

Staring them down with what intensity he had left, his strength abruptly gave out and he relaxed. "Go and do as you wish. I will rest for a moment or two and be… right behind you."

"Thank you, Master." Their relieved answer floated through his murky brain, and his last thought before he passed out was why they had waited for his permission at all.

X

The city barracks were overloaded with refugees from the palace, all scared and looking for someone else. Upon arriving with her own ragtag group of strays, Kaoru had instantly been thrown into a position of leadership. Seeing the lady gave the people someone to focus their hysterics and questions on. Unable to answer them on what was happening, she instead placed her efforts into keeping everyone calm. In the beginning she had resisted, her own fear and lack of self-confidence wanting little to do with making decisions for others. After awhile, however, the shock of the situation had worn back her doubts and forced her to take charge.

The others helped her as much as they could, and Misao was soon glad to see her mistress acting like herself again. Whatever was going on between her and the master to make her act the way she had mattered little in the face of everyone else's distress. It was in her nature, Misao realized, to put everyone else before herself. Being needed was the best way to help her heal.

Soujirou sat right outside the door facing the palace, guarding the entrance from any intruders. So far there had been no sign of the bandits, but the city guard was anxious and Soujirou was not about to be caught off guard. He had a duty to protect, and he planned on fulfilling that duty. A restless part of him, however, whispered of how protected the place already was. He was needed by his master's side, not here. The lady was right, there was nothing to protect her from, and if he went and fought with the intruders he could help stop them from getting close enough to put her in danger.

Shaking his head roughly, he threw the thought from his mind. He knew what his orders were, and he would not disobey.

"You're thinking the same thing that I am, Soujirou-kun." Surprised, Soujirou looked up to see Kaoru standing next to him. Kneeling so that they were eye-level, Kaoru pleaded once more, only this time there was no desperate fear ruling her request like before. This was the woman he had fallen in love with; the same woman that belonged to his master. "I am safe here. Please, I want you to go. Kenshin needs you more than I do, and since I can't go to him myself, I want someone I can trust to keep him safe for me."

The admission of trust was more painful than joyful, and he grimaced, fighting against his reason and his orders. "The master will be angry if I show up now. He ordered me to stay by your side, Lady Kaoru. You are more important to him than his own life."

"And I have an entire wall of wolves between me and whatever danger is within the palace walls. I am a little too protected, Soujirou-kun. You said so yourself that there are too few men left to defend the palace. Kenshin needs everyone he can get. Your skills are wasted sitting here doing nothing. You are needed out there where you can protect everyone, not just me."

"My lady, you don't understand."

Chin lifting, she set her jaw. "This is an order, Soujirou-kun. As the future wife of your master I order you to find Kenshin and protect this palace from its enemy." Wide, almond shaped eyes stared up at her, and she bit her lip, her voice lowering sheepishly. "I-I have that right, don't I?"

Nodding slowly, he stood to all fours and bowed his head. "Yes, Lady. You have that right." Kaoru sighed in relief. "But the master's orders will always prevail over your own, especially during times of military rule." Failure contorted her face, and he smiled. "But this once I might forget such a technicality."

"I'll gladly take the blame, Soujirou-kun." Eager, Kaoru's features turned from despairing to earnest in seconds.

"I hope you will, my lady. He's going to be furious when he sees me."

The cheetah was running off across the yard before Kaoru could say thank you, and Kaoru could tell that he was relieved to be going back. Letting out a controlled breath, she was happy to feel the urgency in her chest ease up. Soujirou would keep Kenshin safe. She needed for him to keep Kenshin safe.

"Where's he going?" Misao came up to stand by her leg, looking out at the place Soujirou had disappeared.

"I sent him back to help Kenshin. He needs the help more than I do."

"But milady…"

A loud explosion shook the ground and one of the palace buildings burst into flames and shooting chunks of debris. Red lit the night sky, illuminating the rooftops nearest and outlining the grey plumes of smoke. It was startling and horrifying and too close to the city limit for comfort. Shouting, Misao jumped forward off the walkway and ran for the barricade where she began conversing in harried sentences with one of the city wolves. Blue eyes lit by the fire stared at the burning structure, watching it throw licks of flames onto an adjoining pavilion. Fear for those near squeezed her heart, and a desperate hope that Kenshin was not caught in it repeated over and over within her mind.

For long moments she simply stared, dazed, awed, and shocked by the blatant destruction these intruders were throwing out on her beautiful palace. Within the new illumination, however, Kaoru caught sight of furtive shadows racing along the rooftops. Eyes locking on their movements she found that there were only two and they were both human shaped. On one of them, however, she saw the barest hint of a wing. _Kenshin._ Her heart gave a leap, glad that he was alive. The taller shadow behind him was giving chase, throwing itself harshly into each attack and leaving his own mark upon the rooftops. Kenshin was dodging, but there was something wrong with his movements.

"They're here!"

Distracted, Kaoru's eyes fell back to the ground and widened as multiply shadows came rushing out of the palace structures and towards the barricade. In front of them stood a line of tough wolves, causing many of them to hesitate. Behind them, however, was a less uniform group of predators that were no less dangerous. There were too few at their back, however, to appropriately pin them in between. The ones that gave up the charge turned to cut through the thinned ranks at their backs, while their braver men cried out in challenge, charging towards the wolves.

The wolves attacked in structured groups, taking down their prey efficiently instead of wasting time with one on one battles. They killed without mercy, and Kaoru's stomach churned and twisted as she watched the violence in front of her. This battle, however, was not one that would allow her to press her beliefs on everyone else. It was too widespread and too dangerous. Fighting with her shock, wondering what she _could _do besides just watch what she never wanted to see, Kaoru spied a couple of the bandits slip past a group of preoccupied wolves.

Firming her jaw, Kaoru turned and ran back into the barracks. There were weapons within the building, though none of them had been used in over a thousand years. Snatching up one of the training swords, she ran back for the entrance, ignoring the cries around her.

"My lady, what do you think you're doing?" Tae caught her at the door, detaining her impatient steps.

"I'm going to protect what's important to me." The room behind her went quiet, and she briefly glanced at the multiple sets of eyes staring at her and her declaration. Firming her jaw, she stepped around the cook. "Please keep everyone inside. I promise I won't let anyone through."

"Y-yes, my lady."

Falling easily into the discipline she was familiar with, Kaoru smoothly descended the stairs and met with the first man almost upon the barracks. He seemed momentarily surprised to see another human, let alone a woman, after fighting off all the animals. Slowly his muddy eyes blinked at her, but before his mouth could open to say anything she saw her opening and laid him flat. Satisfied with his groan, she meet the man coming up fast behind him. This one did not hesitate, seeing as it hadn't helped his friend much, and she serenely countered his angry attack with one of her own. Fighting an opponent who wielded steel with a wooden sword was not something that could be done without practice. Fortunately it was something Kaoru had trained to do nearly her entire life.

The second man went down hard, his knee cap busted and eyes rolling up into his head. Both defeats were satisfying, allowing Kaoru to take part in the battle in her own way, without taking lives. In this way, she was able to save not only the people she wanted to protect, but the people who were misguided in their attack of the palace. They deserved punishment, but in a way that would be beneficial to everyone.

Staying well behind the barricade, Kaoru paced her way back and forth, picking off the unlucky ones that managed to break through. She would not go too far from the barracks, however, and had to contend herself with letting the city guard chase after the others. Her job was to protect the palace residents now taking sanctuary inside the building behind her. No matter how hard it was to keep herself from trying to save them all, she would not sacrifice all of the helpless ones huddled together inside just for one or two bandits. It was a hard choice that hurt her heart, and it was regrettable that she was required to make it.

Quick glances at the rooftops showed only rare visions of Kenshin and his enemy. Whoever he was fighting was skilled to push Kenshin as far as he was. They were not close enough for Kaoru to see clearly, but she could tell they were both wounded. It frightened her, the urgent pleading within coming back harshly, wanting to go to him.

A new commotion broke her concentration away from her most recent downed opponent, drawing her eyes down the line to her left. Fighting their way through the bandits was a small group of men, and Kaoru would have mistaken them for other bandits, except there were two wolves escorting them through the chaos. Blinking as she recognized her father's new students, Kaoru took off running to meet them, the barricade letting them through reluctantly and only because of the guards with them.

As they finally made the other side of the fighting, the tallest one of the boys went down and Kaoru saw that he was actually carrying someone on his back. Carefully he was laid out on the ground and the closer Kaoru came the surer she was that it was her father. The two wolves, seeing their duty finished took off to join the battle, leaving the boys to catch their breath. Sliding to an abrupt stop next to them, Kaoru dropped to her knees and ignored their surprised jerks.

"Daddy!" Wide eyes staring at the sweat on his face and the hasty bandages wrapped around his shoulder, she switched her attention to the oldest boy. "Haruki-kun. What happened?"

Still breathing heavily, Haruki frowned. "He fought with some man named Enishi last night."

"Enishi? Why would he attack my father?"

"Because he wanted…"

"Kazuki!" Haruki cut his younger brother off, his voice stern with warning. Looking between the two, Kaoru set her jaw and reached out to grab them both by the ear.

"Now listen here! You will tell me what is going on right this minute! Why did Enishi attack my father and is he the one attacking the palace?"

"Yes, ma'am." They chorused in unison, but Ren, sitting timidly on the other side of Koshijirou, out of her reach, spoke up softly.

"He has been looking for you, Kaoru-san, for a couple of months now." Kaoru's brow furrowed, her hands slipping free of the boys' ears. "He saw you last night with the palace master and then attacked your father after you left."

"He's here for me?"

They didn't answer her and she scowled, everything falling into place. The attack on the palace wasn't random, it was planned, and she suddenly knew who Kenshin was fighting. This wasn't right. In fact, it was completely wrong. Clenching her trembling fists, Kaoru glanced at the barricade. "Come on, we need to get my father away from here and somewhere safe."

X

It was getting more and more difficult to keep his attention focused on one opponent. While dodging Enishi's crazed attacks, Kenshin also had to keep an eye out for other battles within his reach. Having caught up with the rest of the invaders, they were now surrounded by fighting, and with his men outnumbered as they were, Kenshin had a responsibility to protect everyone under his care.

The broken wing at his back was slowing him down, leaving him vulnerable. Already at a disadvantage without a weapon to defend himself with, the extra dead weight was hampering him to the point of danger. Only his instincts and reflexes were keeping him ahead of his opponent, and it wasn't by much. The boy was strong and skilled, though not nearly like any of his brothers were. With a sword in hand, Kenshin would have picked him apart.

But that was not a path he was willing to take. He could not sacrifice everything he had gained now by killing a misguided brat. Whatever was going through the child's mind, it was not well thought out. Though Kenshin and his men were outnumbered, there was no chance that Enishi's band of petty thieves and scum would be able to hold the palace. There was also no way their leader would take Kaoru outside of its walls.

The battle had progressed its way into the open yard nearest to the city. There were bound to be a few stragglers, but it seemed as though most of the invaders had been herded into the area. Saitou's city guard was standing their ground well against any attacker stupid enough to try and break through, and he was glad to see that they were following his orders not to break ranks no matter what. That unfortunately left only his palace guard to take care of the thirty or so men left, and they had been thinned down considerably from the few they had been to start with.

"Pay attention, beast, or I'll relieve you of your head!"

Ducking the swipe, Kenshin frowned at the glee radiating from Enishi's dark green eyes. He was having too much fun, taunting and toying with him. Too mature to let such things get him worked up, Kenshin hardly replied anymore to the scathing remarks. He had too many other matters to see to. His only concern about the boy was keeping him from hurting anyone else unintentionally.

Forced down into the yard, Kenshin turned to meet his attacker, his wing dragging down his movements. Hissing between his teeth as the pain from his wounds shot with fire, he miscalculated his moves. Dodging yet another attack, he stepped back on his broken wing, tearing the tissue and tripping himself. A triumphant look entered Enishi's eyes, seeing victory, but before Kenshin could regain his equilibrium Enishi was attacked from the side and dirt-rolled to the ground.

Stumbling off of his wing, Kenshin's eyes widened then flattened into slits as the cheetah pounced off the boy, a threatening snarl issuing from his mouth. Dazed, Enishi swiped at nothing, stalling both from attacking while he steadied himself.

"Soujirou! What the hell are you doing here?"

Short ears flattened back against his skull, but there was a mutinous look on his face that did not react to his master's anger. "The lady has been safely escorted, my lord. I have returned to assist you."

"Those were not my orders."

"Would you stop ignoring me and fight you coward!" Charging Kenshin, Enishi screamed his impatience at having to chase the master down. Seeing as the creature was more interested in everyone else and not the man attacking him, Enishi was insulted. As a prideful man, he could not stand the shame.

Smacking his hand against the flat of the blade to deflect the attack, Kenshin stuck out at a leg and tripped him back onto the ground. His attention however was still very much on Soujirou. The ease in his sudden show of strength only wounded Enishi's pride further. Now it was more than obvious that the lord was not truly concerned with his presence.

"You are the only one I trust to keep her safe, Soujirou. You will return to her side immediately."

"With all due respect, my lord, I have to decline." Distracted by a nearby fight, and seeing as how the master was handling the boy just fine for the moment, Soujirou intervened and helped bring the bandit down. "You see, the lady has discovered the new power your engagement has granted to her, and she was very adamant about using said power." Circling around behind Enishi so that he was caged between Kenshin and the cheetah, Soujirou ducked his head predatorily. "She ordered me to find you and help you instead."

Growling, Kenshin's stare turned flat. "I know you know better, Soujirou. That maddening woman has more power than she realizes without having to rely on mine."

"I told you to stop ignoring me!"

The sudden scream of an owl tore through the night, jerking Enishi's head upwards, and out of nowhere their troops tripled in strength. From the north came Aoshi, finally back from the mines, his squad of ninjas digging into the battle fiercely and with much anger. Moments later there was a roar of defiance from the south, Kogorou's men having returned from the ridgeline. Shocked, Enishi's green eyes widened, sensing his defeat was imminent and filling his chest with desperation. He had no love for the men under his control, but he had needed them to fight through the palace. He needed them to get Kaoru back.

No longer worried for his people, Kenshin finally allowed his attention to settle heavily upon the boy. "Go on, Soujirou. If you must be here then find your own fight."

"Yes sir."

Chest heaving as his mind turned frantic, Enishi stared into the eyes of a completely different man. They were not like the ones from before. These eyes were harder, focused and taunting him with defeat. Defying such a fate, Enishi lifted his sword with a wild cry and charged. Lashing out, the strike powerful and desperate, his eyes lit gleefully when his opponent did not move. Instead his one remaining wing shot up, the foolish attempt to block him futile. Laughing as blood sprayed and the dismembered wing dropped to the ground, Enishi thought the creature mad for resorting to the same mistake twice. He was obviously idiotic to purposefully inflict more pain upon himself like that.

Body angled sideways away from the strike, Kenshin had avoided the tip hitting him this time. Grinding his teeth against the pain shooting up his back, he could see Enishi's surety that he had lost his mind. Bowing his head ever so slightly, Kenshin circled to the side so that the dead wing was no longer an obstacle between them. The action brought confusion to green irises. "Thank you. The wing was becoming bothersome. Now I may move freely."

Horror touched the child's features. "You let me do that on purpose?"

He was such a young and innocent child. The thought only deepened Kenshin's resolve to stick by his newly adopted principles. "In war you do not allow yourself to have weaknesses that will slow you down. If your arm is hampering you… then you simply sever it from your body."

X

Koshijirou woke feeling as if he could breathe easier than before. Blinking open his heavy eyelids he turned his head slowly to his left, feeling something tugging on his numbed shoulder. A small spider monkey knelt next to him, carefully wrapping his shoulder as it should have been, and he belatedly recognized the nice cook that served him his meals when he visited.

"T-Tae… san…"

Soft brown eyes shot up to meet his and widened before she turned to holler over her shoulder. "Megumi-sensei! He's awake!"

Scampering spoke of the other's approach and soon he was staring into the cinnamon eyes of a small red fox. He wasn't quite sure if he remembered this one or not. "Kamiya-sama. Do you know where you are?"

Croaking, he coughed, surprised by the dryness of his mouth. Swallowing weakly, grateful he could feel no pain, he tried again. "Palace."

"Good. That's right. You lost a lot of blood, but you don't seem to be in any danger. Do you remember your injuries?" Nodding, his brain began to clear of the fog covering it. Shoulder and leg. He had been in worse conditions. "You're running a fever because of them. Both of your wounds are raw and infected. You are going to need to stay still for awhile. I administered something for the pain, but it is probably why your mouth is dry. We will bring you some water, so please stay put."

"Wait." Fighting the rasp in his throat, Koshijirou protested. "My daughter. Where's my daughter?"

"Outside defending the building. She and those three boys brought you in here and then had to leave."

"I… would like to see her." Fighting to sit up, Koshijirou frowned as his body reacted slowly to his desires.

"You need to stay put!" The soothing voice from before was replaced by sudden irritation, his stubbornness bringing out the physician's no-nonsense side. Before the matter could be argued, however, the frantic voice of a kitten running through the door interrupted them.

"The Lady! She's gone!"

"What?"

"She snuck through the barricade and is trying to join the fight! The boys she was with were too busy to notice, but I saw her go!"

An instinctive fear tugged at Koshijirou's stomach and he sat up all the way. "I have to go after her."

"You are going to stay put!"

"Forgive me, but I cannot do that." Struggling to his feet, Koshijirou stumbled his way to the door and after the only family he had left. A sure part of him felt dread and knew what it meant.

X

Kenshin's wings were gone!

Pained by the revelation, Kaoru sprinted her way through the havoc, her hand clutched tightly around her wooden sword. With the fight now contained to the yard, she was able to see everything so much clearer, and her eyes were instinctively drawn to Kenshin. Two uneven stumps were all that was left of his once majestic wings, and the sight made her sick to her stomach. It meant the fight was not as easy for him as she had hoped. He was struggling to win… because he was fighting without a weapon.

Upon seeing his predicament, her feet had moved of their own volition. She was being drawn to his side; to help him; to free him. She needed to be there for him, because she had what he did not. A quick glance down at the solid wood in her hand firmed her resolve. She knew why he wasn't fighting with a weapon, and it wasn't just because he no longer carried one. Kaoru had convinced him of her principles, had persuaded him into seeing the truth through her eyes. He would not kill, because he knew her. It was that simple. And so, she would bring him a weapon he could use without fear of taking life.

The invading forces were thinning considerably, and Kaoru found herself lucky enough not to be detained by any fighting. There were many wounded and lifeless bodies, however, and she desperately kept her eyes level to keep herself from becoming distracted by the horror. Instead she focused on Kenshin and his opponent: Enishi. They were really going at each other, and she could see Kenshin's skill as he countered each of Enishi's strikes. It made her feel strangely proud and in awe of his strength. If he could fight like this unarmed, she wondered about his true skill with a sword.

As she came nearer, something strange and fortuitous happened. One of the fights still in progress spilled into the middle of the two men, breaking them apart and distracting Kenshin's attention. Seeing an opening to end this without further violence, Kaoru slowed to a stop and brought green eyes to her.

"Enishi!"

The tall man jerked, his eyes finding her immediately, and she steadied herself against the rage she had always seen in him. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and he turned fully to walk towards her, his sword dropping to his side. Out of the corner of her eye Kaoru saw Kenshin's looking towards her as well, his eyes wide. Lowering her own weapon, she held up a hand in peace, trying to reason.

"You need to stop this. This whole battle is _senseless_. None of these people have ever hurt you. You have no reason to be here. Please just go quietly and…" Not expecting him to attack her, Kaoru jerked her bokken up reflexively when his sword shot out. Deflecting it clumsily, Kaoru stumbled back, a notch in her sword weakening its strength. "Stop it, Enishi! I don't want to fight you!" His lips sneered but he still didn't respond, and another strike from his sword splintered her weapon and knocked it from her hands. Still off-balance, his already spiked adrenaline putting her at a disadvantage, she gasped in shock when his hand smacked violently across her cheek.

"Shut up, you unfaithful bitch!" Grunting as she spun and hit the ground, Kaoru's eyes crossed and briefly went dark as the pain rattled inside her head. "It's time you learned your place!"

A kick to the back of his knee dropped Enishi to the ground before he could turn his kneecap cracking as it hit first. Arm whipping out in retaliation, his elbow was caught in a strong, clawed grip and the sword torn from his fingers. Eyes barely given enough time to widen, the hilt of his own katana was smashed into his face, breaking his nose and knocking him flat. One last kick was thrown into his stomach, sharp talons tearing at tender flesh, and he hissed as the pain both hampered and helped the impending darkness threatening the corners of his vision.

"Kaoru!" Kneeling next to her, Kenshin dropped the sword carelessly, his hands gingerly turning her onto her back. Curling her into his arms he watched as her eyes flickered, the blue irises beneath dazed and unfocused. Fear, unlike anything he had ever experienced before, ate at his heart like a rabid dog.

The images that were registering in her mind were disjointed and irregular. Some of them she wasn't even sure when they came from, not to mention where. Injured bodies, fallen friends, struggling battles that were continuing even as she was stuck in the tangle of her uneven thoughts. Whispered words she could not recognize told her of things she did not understand. Soothing warmth wrapped around her body even as searing heart burnt the skin of her chest. She was spiraling, losing herself to another being, a different life, but her heart would not be taken by this new entity. Kaoru's will was strong and all she wanted was to protect. Whatever was to happen, she wanted everyone she cared for to be safe from this horrible madness.

The alien presence agreed, and her eyes came open.

Kenshin's features came into focus above her, and she watched as he exhaled a shaky breath of relief. A smile tugged as his lips, fighting with the furrows setting themselves deeply into his brow. He was angry and yet happy, and she knew she would be scolded later. Sudden movement caught her attention, her brain processing it as if in slow motion, and she watched in horror as Enishi struggled to keep his feet before charging at Kenshin's unprotected back. A knife was pulled from his sleeve, his arm lifting it high, and Kaoru's eyes swung to Kenshin just in time to see him frown in confusion. With no time to warn, no time to think, Kaoru's hand snapped out and hit his chest. The action was unconscious, the result astounding, and she stared in awe as something soft pink and opalescent sprung to life around Kenshin's body. The knife hit the barrier, turning it aside so that it skidded harmless off, and Enishi's weight followed with it.

Shocked, Kenshin stared at the pulsating bubble, a bit uneasy, a bit curious, and more than confused. Around him in the yard there were many of the bubbles, all cocooning in his people, whether injured or fighting or otherwise. It was beautiful, and as he watched, he found that nothing was allowed inside the barrier that would hurt what it was protecting. It was like love, and it was decidedly Kaoru.

Glancing down he was forced to squint as the necklace lying on her chest was afire. Blinking, he smiled in bewilderment as his eyes caught hers, stunned and amazed by the truth of what she had done. It was magic, but Kaoru had accomplished it only because she wanted to protect everything she cared for. Such compassion and love was a blessing to be bestowed with.

"Kaoru." His hand reached, sliding easily through the barrier that was surrounding him, and touched her face. She smiled happily, her own beautiful sapphire gazing back. There was so much love in her eyes, the hand on his chest warm and firm. It was a wonderful dream after all of the nightmares… but even dreams eventually come to an end.

Abruptly she coughed, as if she had been holding her breath, blood splattering out of her mouth and onto the barrier between them. Blue eyes that seemed to be so very deep only a moment ago now showed themselves to be in shock instead. Drifting down haltingly, they guided his own eyes to her stomach, her free hand fluttering over the end of a knife buried hilt deep into her flesh. The hand on his chest clenched, grasping desperately at his kimono, trying to anchor herself to him.

"No."

The protective pink barrier flickered weakly as its caster lost strength, disappearing as suddenly as it had appeared. Discouraged by the ominous meaning of such a sign, Kenshin shook his head, his hands clutching her to him tighter as if he could hold her to life by his strength alone. "_No_."

Crab-walking his way away from the scene, Enishi stared wide-eyed at the knife. It had not landed where he had intended it to. It wasn't his fault. Something had blocked him. Something _made_ him miss. Too horrified by what he had done, denial fought with his reason, shielding his mind from grief.

"Kenshin." Her fluttering hand came up to touch his cheek, her lips fighting for a smile, and his head still shook. "It's okay."

"No." His voice broke, his hand pressing hers into his scaly cheek. "No Kaoru, this…" Words left him, his throat choked, and he closed his eyes. "This isn't real!"

"Kenshin."

"I wasn't supposed to lose you yet. Not so soon. I'm not ready. Please, Kaoru. You have to stay."

"Kenshin." Weakly chiding, Kaoru's arms grew heavy, and he clutched her hand tighter, keeping her touch close even as her fingers turned cold.

"You promised you would stay. _You promised._ I won't let you go again." Fiercely denying the fate that would rob him of her warmth, he trembled, his features turning stern even as his deep violet gaze wavered with unshed tears.

"I'll always be with you Kenshin." The smile on white lips was loving, the hand still tangled with his shirt dropping limply to curl around her necklace. "I'll be here. Please…" Struggling to breathe, her eyes dazed by pain, she fought to stay focused. "Keep it with you… so I can stay close." Beneath her hand, the necklace pulsed like a heartbeat; fierce, strong, and pure.

"It's not enough. I have to have you. Please." His tear soaked pleading finally jerked at her lips sorrowfully, a tear sliding out of her eye as she gasped.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin." Within his arms her body convulsed, her muscles tensing in rejection, fighting the pain. "I'm sorry…"

The vibrancy in her eyes was fading, her irises turning dark and lifeless. Eyelashes fluttering, her lips formed indistinct words, fighting to tell him something he would never hear. "Wait." Lowering her hand and releasing it from his grasp, he brushed at her hair. "Don't go yet." Fluttering eyelashes stilled, her entire body relaxed, and beneath her hand the last remaining petal flashed hotly.

Caught in his grief, Kenshin shook her gently, his chest heaving in panic. "Wake up. Come on, Kaoru, just wake up. Please." Shaking her a little more firmly, her head jerking limply, panic and denial gripped him tighter. "I won't allow it! You have to wake up! You promised you would stay! You said you would be my wife! I won't let you back out now!" Waiting for a reply that would never come, his chest convulsed and his arms constricted, holding her against his chest. "I can't do this anymore. Not without you. Please… come back."

"No!" Jerking at the sudden intrusion, Kenshin listened as someone new slammed to their knees across from him. "Kaoru, no!" Vaguely he recognized her father's voice, and pain of a different kind lanced through him. This man had trusted him to take care of his daughter. What a fine job he had done.

Trembling, Kenshin loosened his hold, his head lifting to look at the man now bent with his forehead in the dirt. Grieving for his only child, her cold hand clutched in his only good one, swearing that it was his fault, apologizing for not being there… Teeth grinding, Kenshin knew where the blame truly belonged. Eyes darting to the knife still buried in her small body, they shot to the man still frozen and staring with his backside in the dirt. Violet eyes bled with gold, smashing the round pupil, lengthening it into a slit of hatred as the irises expanded once more. Fear widened green irises and Kenshin felt satisfaction in his terror.

Laying Kaoru out gently on the ground, Kenshin stood, his eyes never leaving his prey. Anger was fresh in his mind now, and he would sate the emotion thoroughly.

"Soujirou!"

Not far away, his own chest constricted with grief and rage, Soujirou snapped to attention at the command in his master's voice. "Yes sir."

"Bring me my sword!"

Soujirou's jaw tightened. "Yes sir!"

As Kenshin advanced on his terrified foe, one sickening thought passed through his mind. Kaoru's death was not only premature, but needless. The curse had not broken.

X

A/N: I think I have much to say, but I would like to start with the title of this chapter. Everyone in it is trying to protect someone they love. This even includes someone you might not realize. XD Just think about it, you might understand something. If not, don't worry, it will be said in the next chapter.

Okay… I finally got to fit Sano's partial reconciliation into the story. Yay! They're just too cute.

Oh, and what's this about the curse not being broken? Huh. -evil laugh- This was my inconsistency. Have you caught on to it yet?

Also, Kaoru used magic! Ahh! And then she died… right…

Okay then. I am actually really proud of myself with this chapter. Not only is it unbelievably long, but I think I did okay with the fight scenes. I know you might not be impressed, since they are pretty elementary, but since I'm not very good at them any improvement is cause for celebration for me! lol It's going to be even cooler in the next chapter though since Kenshin gets his sword! Yay! I will work hard!

Right, so please review, I love feedback… even if you are not happy. XP In the next chapter, the final Kenshin/Enishi showdown, Kenshin discovers the five stages of grief, and Tomoe learns the truth about her own curse. Hope to still see you there… please… onegai… amabo te… por favor…


	43. To Perceive Compassion

I'm so happy. Not as happy as I probably should be, but happy enough that there are a small few of you that have grasped a part of the curse. I haven't given too many clues, so I'm not disappointed. Don't feel insulted or upset if you haven't understood yet. It's not you; it's my story that has not delivered the full info. I have tried to emphasis a small point about _who_, really, is supposed to break it, though. I was hoping that would come across. Please continue to think about this as you read the first part of this chapter. As to Kaoru's death… I'm sorry, but it _was _necessary, and I shall explain why.

Disclaimer: Grief is one of the most dangerous and forgiving of all emotions.

**Chapter 43: To Perceive Compassion**

"Get up." Scowling at the frightened form of the child cowering before him, Kenshin growled the demand. When wide green irises did nothing more than stare his growl turned into a snarl. "I said get up!" The boy scrambled backwards, his hand blindly searching for anything to help him escape the monster coming for him. Knocking his head against the raised flooring of a veranda, Enishi tensed, feeling trapped. Reaching one clawed hand down to fist into his clothing, Kenshin jerked the child to his feet. At his full height Enishi was much taller, but even as he had to stare down into the molten yellow eyes of the lord he felt like a small, frightened animal.

Pushing him to the side and out into the open yard, Kenshin advanced as the boy stumbled to keep his feet. "Pick up a weapon." Staggering as he tried to keep the changed ambiance of this beast at his front, the boy's figure lurched as he tripped over dead bodies and other obstacles that he had no time to watch for. "Defend yourself now if you wish to live." Stalking him unhurriedly, Kenshin's progress was smooth and unhindered even as the dark gold of his irises never once left his prey. "I will show no mercy once I am armed." The words trembled as they left his mouth, his features twitching as if pained by his rage. Choked by the very air of murderous intent, Enishi's mouth opened to speak, but nothing, no matter how he tried, would be forced past his lips.

"Wait!" Jade green eyes swung incredulously towards the form of his old sword master. Kneeling next to the lifeless form of his daughter, one of her limp hands clutched in his, Koshijirou was calling for the mercy that the palace lord claimed he would not grant. "The boy's death will not make this right! It's not what Kaoru would have wanted!"

Kenshin's steps did not pause. "Kaoru is gone. She can no longer want _anything _because of this boy." Fury ground his jaw together, his chest tight with rage. "This boy playing at being a man." Stepping over the body of a bandit, Kenshin kicked at a katana lying next to it. "Pick it up, _boy_, and attack me again. I promise you this time I will give you my undivided attention."

Flinching as the bladed weapon flipped through the air and stuck into the ground several steps behind him, Enishi's chest heaved. The fear flooding his brain was irrational, primal, and overwhelming. Not one thought of picking up the weapon pierced through the thick stench of terror. All that remained of his will to live shouted an echoing mantra to flee. This place was no longer one of equal footing. He was a child staring into the hungry jaws of an ancient, feral dragon. Foolishly he had thought to invade the dragon's den, arrogantly he had taunted him from slumber, and mistakenly he had destroyed the maiden instead of the beast.

"I didn't…" Words finally escaped him, but their breathless utterance only sharpened the lord's focus, darkening the loathing in his eyes.

"You will not speak! I will not hear one word of your witless reasoning! You killed my lady! I will not be satisfied until your head is separate from your neck!"

"I beg you to stop this, Lord Kenshin! My daughter…"

"Silence, Kamiya-san! If you do not wish to see his death then look away!"

A lithe figure bounded out of the darkness of buildings, the cheetah's long strides guided by the length of his tail as he turned sharply to head in their direction. In the dead of night the shadows were penetrated only by the reddish glow from the fires still eating away at the palace pavilions. The flickering light slid over the long span of a katana clutched firmly between his powerful jaws, creating an ominous shimmering of wraithlike shapes on the dark lacquer. Skidding to a stop next to his master, he lifted his chin in offering, flexing his jaw when the weapon was removed.

"As you requested, my lord."

"Very good. That will be all." Soujirou nodded and silently gave his master the space he would require. Hefting the weapon to familiarize himself with its weight and balance once again, Kenshin eyed it briefly before flipping the hilt towards his dominate arm. "This weapon has not been drawn from its sheath in a thousand years." The heavy weight of his gaze landed on Enishi. "How unlucky for you to have found the one thing I would gladly destroy this world for." In one wrenching motion the blade was ripped from its scabbard, the excess piece tossed to the side in silent promise that it would not be put away again until its job was finished. Blade now bared completely the surrounding air became suddenly heavy beyond reasoning, pressing down on Enishi's shoulders, chest, and buckling his legs. Where before he had thought the atmosphere thick with the lord's shift in demeanor, this time it seemed to distort the very space around him. It was no longer hard to breathe, but impossible. His terror was no longer irrational, but all-encompassing. The man he had thought to be a creature, that had gently cradled Kaoru's form in his arms before taking flight in the woods, was gone. In its place stood the true form of the monster he had imagined his form to represent. Not one trace of humanity was left.

Knees buckling, Enishi instinctively grabbed for anything to keep him upright as the terrible presence before him advanced. Fingers grasping at the katana stuck into the ground, he tore the tip from the dirt and landed once more on his backside. Legs kicking, eyes wide, he fought to gain his feet so that he could escape the demon coming for him. The red scales of his skin seemed darker than before, the gold in his eyes brighter, and though the fires were not close to their position, he seemed surrounded by murky plumes of black smoke that obscured and enhanced his appearance. Frightened by his visions, Enishi's tongue loosened and he stuttered in stark panic.

"Wait! It was an accident! I was aiming for you!" Lashing out violently, Kenshin's sword whipped through the air and rammed straight down on his victim's head. Reflex kept Enishi alive as his arm raised quickly to block, the katana in his hand clashing with the master's mere inches from his forehead. Every muscle in his arm quivered under the force of the blow, his elbow and wrist aching, and metal sparked upon metal as the lord's katana hissed at being denied. "I didn't mean to kill her! Something else got in the way!"

"You would dare to deny your roll in her death?" Pushing weight behind the crossed steel, Kenshin forced Enishi to step back. "You dare to blame it on chance? Your knife stole the very breath from her lungs! Your hand destroyed the life in her eyes! There is nothing you can say that will convince me of your innocence!"

"I didn't want to kill her!"

The abrupt absence of Kenshin's sword unbalanced Enishi's stance, rocking his equilibrium. The sudden quick return of the weapon forced Enishi to parry. Hard amber eyes were cold to his existence, and he knew that words would do him no good. Frightened by the finality of the outcome that was promised, he fought desperation in an attempt to stay alive.

Harsh and unrelenting Kenshin's blade struck out in quick succession, the blows like a powerful hammer beating against Enishi's very bones. Barely able to keep up with the master's speed, barely able to keep his own footing, it was blatantly apparent that he was losing. There was too much experience behind the lord's actions; too much weight. With a sword in hand he was unstoppable.

In a state well beyond terror, Enishi could only react to his opponent's attacks like an inexperienced child relying on instinct alone. Pushed back relentlessly, the monster before him no longer capable of civil conversation, one strong blow threw him through the air. Slamming into the veranda, his back cracking apart the posts and flinging him into one of the gardens on the other side of the walkway, he landed with a grunt on his back. Lungs gasping once, his green eyes widened as the red-scaled demon cleared the broken roofing in one swift leap. Coming down quick on Enishi's position, katana flipped and angled down for the boy's chest, the rage in his being was so calm it was unnatural. Rolling to the side at the last second, he lifted his sword to counter the second strike.

Shoving off the attack, Enishi ungracefully gained his feet, but the palace lord was unrelenting. Backing him across manicured grass and into the trunk of a tree, the next strike caused him to overbalance and upended him into the small koi pond. Spluttering water from his mouth and nose, he splashed and kicked fruitlessly, trying to place distance between himself and the monster now towering over him. Disgust contorted Kenshin's features, Enishi panicking at his inability to gain control of the uncooperative water. Stepping down into the pond, Kenshin jerked the boy up a second time and tossed him towards the shore.

"Stop thrashing about like an infant. If you thought yourself man enough to take a life then at least act the part." Body catching in the crevice of shore and a roofless walk that spanned the pond, Enishi's fingers reflexively dug into dirt to pull him up. Weapon clattering against the wood, his feet scrabbling for leverage, he finally pulled himself from the water and began to crawl desperately away. "I find your fear sickening."

Stalking after him, Kenshin paced across the garden, his steps slow while the boy finally gained his feet and ran. There was no more pride in his actions, nor any show of aggression. Whatever form of arrogance the child had possessed before was gone now. Hopping up onto the walk after the boy, Kenshin watched him take off across the yard.

There was no other sound within the palace but the crackling of fire. All other battles were done, the bandits subjugated or dead, leaving all eyes focused upon them. Searching for an escape Enishi found himself surrounded by animals of all different kinds, their eyes flat and staring as they watched. No shouts of encouragement echoed in the air, no threats or insults hurled at the murderer of their lady. Not one attacked, but they would not move, pinning him for their master to come and finish.

Whipping back towards the demon, Enishi's heartbeat accelerated alarmingly, his own breathing loud in his ears. So much silence almost drove him to the point of insanity as his own fear found nothing else to focus on but the roaring of his blood. Gripping his katana in both hands, his knees shook but his feet were planted. Swallowing, he charged in his only attempt to be free of the cage of horror this demon lord had locked him in.

Blade streaking upwards in a movement too fast to be seen, Kenshin knocked aside the pitiful attack with ease. Spinning through the air in several quick revolutions, the borrowed katana clattered and banged against the nearest building before sliding off the veranda and disappearing from sight. Right hand and wrist fractured from repeated abuse, Enishi covered his face with his left arm in a miserable attempt to block any further attacks. Cutting his arm to the bone, Kenshin rid himself of the poor barrier, blood spraying from the deep wound and forcing Enishi to cradle the appendage to his chest instinctively. Face successfully open for attack, Kenshin clenched his right hand around the hilt of his katana, reared back his arm, and ground his teeth as he punched the boy square in the jaw.

The wrapping of the hilt bit into his palm, the weight of the sword placing stress on his knuckles and causing them to throb worse than if he had simply dropped the sword first. Uncaring of such a technicality, Kenshin stood over the boy now lying in the dirt. Blood was dying the ground in a dark pool, the lightening eastern sky illuminating the yard in the half-light of false dawn. Katana relaxed at his side, Kenshin merely stared, his denial and rage trembling with the birth of a new emotion; pity for the pathetic wretch at his feet.

"Why her?" Mouth and nose bleeding, Enishi's green eyes swiveled upwards to him. "How could anyone ever think to hurt someone like her?" Golden eyes narrowed. "You hit her first. Is that how you planned to treat her?" Lashing out roughly, he kicked the boy in the stomach, forcing him to wheeze. "Would you have beat and abused her just for speaking her mind?!" Voice rising, Kenshin kicked him again, flipping his body away from him. "You thought to save her from a beast?! How can you claim to be better?!" Switching his grip on the sword, he brought the tip down to pierce his thigh. Crying out in agony, Enishi writhed against the blade, but the movement only tore the tissue deeper.

"Lord Kenshin! I beg you!" Koshijirou was on his feet now, standing in front of Kaoru's lifeless body.

"I've hit nothing vital!" The statement was spat defensively over his shoulder, as if his interference was merely a nuisance he wished to quiet. It was enough to alert Koshijirou to more than Kenshin had wanted, however. Anxiety falling from his face, the sword master stared in shock and abrupt understanding. The lord had not once hit anything vital.

Trying to dismiss her father's voice, Kenshin ripped the blade back out. "You didn't deserve her! She was far beyond your reach! She was far beyond anyone's…!" Lungs betraying him, Kenshin gasped, the action shaky. Tilting his head in a well worn motion of concealment, his bangs covered the torment in his eyes. "She didn't deserve to die. It should have been me." Red lashes slid shut and within the darkness he could see the soft pink barrier of protection she had cast around him. No such barrier had protected her. Kaoru had saved his life without thought of her own. Golden eyes snapped open and he slammed a foot down on Enishi's wounded thigh before screaming down at his agonized form. "It should have been me! Not her! Me! Why couldn't you just kill me?! I've given you more than enough chances!"

Jade green irises were as wide as they would open, the pain shooting through him a vague reminder that he was not in good shape. Above him the demon lord was shouting hysterically at him, the words harsh and unrelenting like his sword play, his voice deep and full of habitual power. What held him in shock, however, was not the words he was speaking or how, but the liquid that was dripping unnoticed down his face. The monster was crying; tears of rage, pain, and desperation. This creature loved Kaoru. Tilting his chin to the side, Enishi settled his tormented gaze upon Kaoru's dead body.

"You've done nothing but scurry about like a frightened child! I could have killed you with my first strike!" Trembling as the boy turned his face away as if to hide, Kenshin fisted long claws into dark hair and ripped his attention back. "Don't look away from me you spineless coward! If you were half the man you claimed yourself to be you would have killed me, too!"

"That's enough, Lord Kenshin! You're not thinking clearly!" Koshijirou was now beside the lord, trying to pry him off of the boy with his one good arm. There was a struggle, but it was clear that Kenshin was not truly putting up a fight. Shrugging off his intrusion at first, Kenshin jerked on the handful of hair he still held, yanking Enishi to a sitting position.

"I am merely teaching this child a lesson!"

"What you are speaking of is suicide!" Golden eyes had not left Enishi to look at him, but Koshijirou could tell his words had gotten through. Still tense, Kenshin stood perfectly still, his hand still gripping the boy's scalp. "It is natural to be upset. Someone you love is now gone. However, it is disrespectful to act in such ways and speak of such things when my daughter sacrificed her own life just to save yours. Do not dishonor her memory like this." Beside him Kenshin trembled, looking decidedly uncertain and lost. The red hairs from his low ponytail had worked loose and were shielding his face from view, but his stance hinted at his feelings. Placing a hand lightly on his shoulder, Koshijirou spoke in a more compassionate tone. "Lord Kenshin… son… you must let it go."

Tortured violet eyes had already replaced harsh gold by the time Kenshin looked at Koshijirou. Not even his own father had ever addressed him in such a fond way. How could this man even think to do so when Kenshin was responsible for his daughter's death? Tears still unchecked and unnoticed, his head finally shook in reply to Koshijirou's beseeching remark. "I can't let her go."

"Not your love for my daughter. You need to let go of your anger. Towards this boy… and towards yourself."

"He killed her. He took her away from me."

"But his death would never make it right. Neither would yours."

Violet eyes clenched shut, fighting fruitlessly against his reasoning. "Death can never be made right by more death. I know this, but…" Strong fingers convulsed against Enishi's scalp, causing him to wince. "I have lived far too long Kamiya-dono. I am so very tired of it. If she must be gone then… I want to go with her. I never had any desire to kill this boy." Fingers loosening, Enishi was finally able to slip free. "But I will not forgive him. You cannot ask that of me."

"Forgiveness is…"

"I never wanted to hurt her." Koshijirou cut off as Enishi spoke over him, afraid and astonished by his input. After finally talking the master down, Enishi's voice had every possibility of reigniting his anger.

Blue and violet eyes swung as one to study his kneeling form, but green irises were steady on Kaoru. "I wouldn't have let anyone else hurt her. I just wanted her to acknowledge me too. I saw the way she looked at you. It was only once, but that's all it took. She loved you." Glancing finally up at the lord, Enishi looked quickly away before he lost his nerve again. "I didn't like it and I lost my temper. I didn't mean to hit her. I only… I wanted her to look at me like that and no one else." The shaking and fractured fingers of his right hand came up to cover his mouth. "Now she'll never look at anyone like that… because I killed her." A few seconds of silence let the words hang heavily in the air, and then everything sank in. Pain and guilt mixed sickeningly and Enishi dropped his broken hand to the ground to brace him as he vomited.

Koshijirou darted a side look at Kenshin but there was no anger left on his face. Instead his brows were curled in anguished understanding. "You loved her." The truth of the statement made everything focus sharply. Kenshin was dealing with the knowledge that Kaoru had saved him from death only to die herself. Enishi, however, was dealing with the knowledge that he had killed her by his own hand. Briefly touching a hand to the scar on his left cheek, Kenshin's heart grew heavy. What an unbearable burden. Watching as the boy wiped at his mouth, his legs shaky as he struggled to sit back, Kenshin stepped forward away from Koshijirou.

As his arm moved he heard the sword master try to protest, but the action was complete before he could say anything intelligible or before Enishi could even flinch. Bright and fresh in the light of dawn, blood marked the path of his sword tip in a deep X on the boy's left cheek. "Now we share this pain." Pulling back his bangs to show his own crossed scar, Kenshin waited for green eyes to study it. "It is a heavy burden, but you can never forget it. This scar will not allow you to. Just as it has never allowed me to forget my sins.

"Now I must ask you to leave. I will not take your life in vengeance, but I do not wish to look upon you either. Nor can I grant you forgiveness. Kaoru's death is still too fresh. So I will ask that you leave my palace and my lands." Enishi looked confused and Kenshin jerked his hand irritably. "In my father's day he ruled over everything west of the mountain line. I will give you three days to make the other side, and… do not ever come back."

"I-I understand." Struggling to his feet, Enishi swayed, his thigh and arm throbbing. Shame kept him from looking the lord or Kaoru's father in the eye again, and he bowed his head low instead. Casting one last anguished look towards Kaoru, he turned and limped away.

Without looking Kenshin could feel Soujirou's presence at his side, the tension in his body palpable. "Can you be satisfied with this decision, Soujirou? I know you loved my lady as well." For a long time the cheetah did nothing except follow the retreating boy with his eyes. After there was a considerable distance between him and the boy he let one controlled breath leave his lungs and his head bowed in deference.

"I will be satisfied with my lord's decision." Shivering against the lingering taste of his own anger, Soujirou reluctantly let it go as well. "The lady would not have wished for any more violence."

Sighing, Kenshin's chest constricted, recognizing finality in the way Kaoru was being referred to in past tense. Eyes closing he tried to block out that truth, as well as the disappearing vision of a boy he now felt empathy and compassion for. As the realization formed, a presence abruptly appeared within the darkness, slender arms wrapping around his ribs from behind to hug him tight. There was happiness in the action, and soft words of love and praise to accompany it.

"_I'm so glad, Kenshin. I love you." _

"_Now you are free."_

Gasping, Kenshin spun to look behind him, but the presence vanished the moment his eyes snapped open. There was no one there except for Kaoru's lifeless body several paces away. _Kaoru._ Taking one step, his wounds throbbing in agony, something sharp stabbed through his sternum, stealing his breath. Ignoring the pain, he took a second step, his katana dropping from his hand. A third step brought blinding hot torment to his entire being and he dropped to his knees with a cry. Vaguely he could hear similar cries all around him, as well as Koshijirou's distress and confusion. Curling as every one of his muscles tensed in agony, he fisted a hand into his kimono, forcing himself to breathe.

The torture was nearly unbearable, and within his pain dazed mind Kenshin wondered if this was not the death he had wished for. Desperately trying to focus, he leveled violet eyes on Kaoru. She was lying so peacefully only a few meters away, the knife gone from her stomach, her hands folded neatly on her chest. If he truly was leaving this world, he wanted to be near her so that it would be easier to find her in the afterlife. Extending one violently shaky hand, he began to crawl, his arms and legs fighting him. Two small arm lengths were all he managed before it felt as if a blade was speared through his middle and he dropped to his stomach with a muffled scream.

Every inch of his skin felt hot enough to melt, his fingers and toes burning like steel digging at the nails. His skull felt as if it might split, his back muscles as if they were being cut open, and his spine almost contorted. Every moment of physical pain he had ever endured since birth seemed to coalesce at once, and just when he thought he could take no more, it stopped.

Panting and feeling as if he had never known true relief until that very moment, Kenshin lay where he was, unable to move for several moments. Starting small, he focused on his eyelids, willing them to open and analyze his current state. At first he was unwilling to believe what he saw, but his surprise only served to solidify the truth when the hand laying flat before him twitched in reaction. Telling his own hand to shift, he watched the one in front of him roll onto its side; its pale skin, short nails and hard calluses clearly visible in the morning light.

"No." The alien hand came forward to cover his face, touching smooth skin and fisting in the same red hair. "This isn't fair." Releasing him, the hand pushed against the ground and he was lifted to his hands and knees. "Was that all it took?" Two normal hands were spread on the ground below him and he trembled as he remembered. _"This curse can only be broken by you and you alone. All that you must do is understand. You must understand the pain you have given to your victims; all that they have felt and experienced because of you. This curse will remain until the day you understand; when you understand exactly what it means to deal with these drowning emotions I feel towards you."_

"I'm so sorry Kaoru. You shouldn't have had to die for something like that." Tired muscles took him the rest of the way to her side, his touch hesitant on her face. Without a thick layer of skin and a hard shell of scales to shield him from her anymore she felt softer than goose down… and yet colder than ice. "I hope you can forgive me for not understanding before."

"You should never fear scorn from my daughter. She would be proud of you." Kenshin looked up to find Koshijirou kneeling opposite him, his still dazed violet eyes weary. Behind the sword master stood his three disciples, looking bruised and tired and dismayed by what they were seeing. "Just as I am proud of you." Pain darkened violet irises just before they closed. "I am sure you are aware now how much harder it is not to take a life than it is to kill."

Nodding, Kenshin turned his face away and tucked his nose against her neck, his arm weakly wrapping around her shoulder. The reflected heat of his own breath warmed her skin and his cheeks, the faint smell of jasmine and blood warring for dominance. Quivering, on the verge of an emotional coalescence that threatened to break him, his breath shuddered once… then stuck in his throat as he recognized the rhythmic beating in his ear as a heartbeat that was not his own. Eyes snapping open he jerked away and stared down at the limp body in his arms. Nothing stirred; not an eyelash or a nostril. Frown twitching on his brow, his muscles overcompensating for scales that were no longer present, he lowered his face once more. Not a second later and he heard it again.

Steady, healthy and real the unmistakably sound of a heartbeat resounded in his eardrum. It was not his own, because his own was now racing in fear and hope. There was a problem, however. Kaoru was not breathing, nor could he find a pulse when he searched for the vein on her neck. Koshijirou and the boys were worried about his suddenly frantic actions, but he ignored them as he tried to make sense of the phenomenon. Upon closer inspection, he began to realize that the heartbeat he was hearing was not coming from her chest. It was, in fact, coming from her hands.

Violet eyes widened and he carefully pried her fingers open, revealing the hot, pulsating glass petal of her necklace. It was perfectly in sync with the heartbeat he heard and Kenshin understood without needing to rationalize what it meant. Jerking his head up, Koshijirou still questioning and confused, the father trailed off and Kenshin knew he was startled by the wonder that was surely showing on his face. Glancing at the boys, his lips barely curved at the nod of encouragement from the youngest. The other two were apparently not party to this knowledge.

Scooping her into his arms, he tried to stand, his legs wobbly underneath him. His arms felt like leaden weights, but he would not drop her. Ignoring the tender skin of his bare feet and the many eyes of his subjects as he walked between their sprawled forms, he set his sights on the shrine across the yard. Kaoru's father and the boys followed, his curiosity and their mysterious nature keeping them all quiet. Stumbling and awkward, Kenshin finally made it to the steps, his knees giving out at the last second and dropping him on the third step up. Careful of the empty shell Kaoru's body had turned into, he adjusted her weight and cradled her to his chest.

"Kiyosato-dono!" Shuffling and groaning could be heard behind him, everyone in the yard witness to his shouting. The name was known to many of them, if not all, and it was not a name they had ever thought to hear again. "Kiyosato-dono I need you! I know you are still here!" Slowly the door to the shrine slid open with a soft scrape of wood on wood, the dark interior no longer broken by light of any kind.

"If you know, Lord Himura, than I would beg you to tell me why, for I can see that my curse is no longer holding you or this palace in its grasp."

"I think it will be apparent to you, Kiyosato-dono, when you come closer."

"You of all people know that I cannot leave this shrine."

"Only because your magic has kept you in there. Now the last of your magic is elsewhere, is it not?"

A short pause stood between them before Tomoe attempted a tentative step out onto the step. Nothing detained her. "How can this be? When the curse broke it should have consumed all of my magic and released my soul to death."

"Perhaps it took far less than you thought and you have some magic left." There was hope in every syllable of the sentence, forcing Tomoe to look at him in disbelief.

"That's not possible."

"But it has happened." The breathless state of his voice caught her attention, worrying her. The lord was starting to sound hysterical.

"You wish for me to cast a spell."

"I do." Realization of his intentions startled Kaoru's father. "Kiyosato-dono, Kaoru's death did not break your curse. The loss of her life was in vain. I want you to give it back."

Taken aback by such knowledge, Tomoe took a step back into the darkness. "What did you say?" Refusing to believe that the calculations she had made about her own curse were wrong, Tomoe frowned. "Then what did break the curse if not her death?"

"Compassion did, Kiyosato-dono." Taking in a shaky breath, Kenshin's features contorted with a mixture of pain and regret. "For a child barely old enough to understand what his actions have caused and the pain he has given to himself. It was not suffering you wished upon me, sorceress. You wanted me to understand all of the emotions you felt. Compassion and pity for an enemy is not easy to accept when they have done you a grievous wrong. I know this now, and I am terribly sorry." Bracing his right hand against the edge of the next step up, Kenshin bowed his head low over Kaoru's body. As black eyes stared at his contrite posture, they widened in shock as the multitude of people fanning out across the yard behind him dropped to their knees as well. The master was humbling himself in front her, his words echoing across the unnaturally still palace, and they would follow his lead to show their support of his actions.

"I have long since forgiven you, Lord Himura. You should no longer feel you have to apologize when I have made you suffer so much in return. Also… I'm afraid I cannot do as you ask. If Kaoru is gone, then there is no way to bring her back."

Red hair jerked as his head shot up, his features fiercely denying her claim. "Yes there is. You will bring her back. You have to."

"Son…"

Kenshin's hand shot to the side, stilling whatever placation Koshijirou was going to speak. "Just stay quiet, Kamiya-dono. I will get your daughter back. I promise."

"Lord Himura…" Gentle and compassionate Tomoe's voice lowered in sorrow, her figure folding onto her knees to bring them closer. "If I could bring someone back from the dead, do you not think I would have done so for my husband?" Agony touched his eyes, his head dropping to look down on Kaoru. "I'm sorry. I would love nothing more than to give her back to you. I never wished for her to be hurt, but… there is nothing that I can do. If her soul is gone to the afterlife, there is no chance of retrieval."

Despair clutched his heart like a vice, his eyes blinking as he tried to think; tried to reason another way. Tears were threatening the corners of his eyes, burning and impeding his sight. Below the curtain of his red hair, its weight slipping to the side and almost hidden by the mesh of clothes between their bodies, the necklace was still pulsating. Caressing it gently, it flared to life under his touch and his thoughts went back to that same wondering conclusion as before. This necklace was magic… and it was Kaoru.

"What if her soul is still present?"

"Lord Himura?"

Swallowing, he cupped the necklace in his palm, the chain tugging against her neck. "What if she has not crossed the boundary into the afterlife? What if she is bound to this world just like you were bound to that tree for so many years?"

"But that cannot be possible, Lord Himura. Such a thing takes a lot of preparation and magic. Besides which, I am not even sure how to reinsert a soul back into its body, and even if I did I would not have enough magic to perform such a feat."

"You will use this." Breaking the chain from her neck, Kenshin held the necklace up between them, its bright presence a fierce glow in the growing light of day.

"That…" Amazed, Tomoe reached out a hand, but hesitated to touch it. "It's so much stronger than the last time I saw it. Much too strong. This… this magic is not my own."

"It is Kaoru." Black eyes shot to him, her brows curling. "Kaoru performed some type of spell just moments before she died. I don't know how… but it was beautiful. Somehow… she used magic. It had to be because of this." Twitching his hand, he urged her to take it. "I think her soul is bound to it. Please." When she still hesitated, Kenshin's voice became gruff in desperation. "At least examine it to tell me if I only imagined her heartbeat!"

"Heartbeat?" Curious now, Tomoe bridged the remaining gap and wrapped her fingers lightly around the hot metal wires and the surprisingly cool glass of the petal. Connected by both, the petal burned bright like a star and shot from their hands, startling the sorceress into jumping back. Clutching Kaoru tighter, Kenshin ducked, the posture protective, even though the body he held was no longer living.

Stopping barely a short distance away, the necklace dimmed, revealing its revolving form. Slowing its circulations, it finally hung in midair, the broken chain melding back together and spreading apart as if an invisible person now wore the piece of jewelry. Glowing, lighter this time, a form suddenly appeared on the steps between the sorceress and the lord.

From the extravagant court kimono and the figure barely discernable underneath, it was obviously a woman, but a veil covered her face. The design and style of the kimono suggested she had just stepped out of the emperor's court, her posture a direct result of noble upbringing, or association. A soft, dainty hand lifted after a moment, gripping the edge of the veil, and without fanfare it disappeared into nothingness. Features now free, the woman blinked as if adjusting to the abrupt change of light, and then focused on Kenshin as the first person who spoke.

"Kaoru?"

A warm smile curved her face, one that was not unlike Kaoru's, but was not as breathtaking. Not a second after he questioned, Kenshin knew his hope was unfounded. The eyes this woman had focused on him were black, not sapphire.

"No, Lord Himura. I am not your beloved Kaoru." Glancing past Kenshin to the man kneeling directly behind him, she smiled at him next, her head already shaking though he had not spoken. "Nor am I your beloved Sayoko, Kamiya-san." Stepping forward, her head swiveled gracefully to look at the sorceress kneeling across the door jam.

"My name is Kana. Only child of Kiyosato Akira and his wife, Sorceress Tomoe."

X

A/N: I realize this fight scene was not as thrilling, but it had to be more emotional than action-packed. I hope you understood it well. I hope you also understood why I said I was being inconsistent with the curse. I really wanted to emphasis the fact that people are not perfect, and that just because we think we have something figured out does not necessarily mean that we do. Most times we never know what the answer is until it happens. Not to mention, the requirements that Tomoe set on Kenshin were frightfully specific. I made sure she said this at one point before in the story, but I'm sure you have all forgotten since it has been such a long time. I think I still need to work on how big I can make my clues. I'm so afraid of giving too much away, I tend not to give anything away at all.

Anyway, I liked my little scene between Kenshin and Kaoru's father. I think I've really wanted to give Kenshin that little piece of pride that comes from being praised by a father. And since Kenshin never received any praise from his own, I thought it might be good for both Kenshin and Koshijirou to share a moment like that; Koshijirou basically accepting Kenshin as family, even though his daughter was never officially married to him; and Kenshin gaining the respect and affection of a father figure like he was denied his entire life. It will not be something he will ever forget, I imagine.

So back to the curse, Kenshin realizing that it wasn't just the pain that Tomoe wanted him to understand, but the compassion as well was shocking to her because it was not an emotion she could admit feeling at the time of the cursing. That Kenshin was able to recognize it only means that he is a thousand years older than she was when she had to deal with such a conflicting emotion. He already feels regret for his actions, compassion is not that far off. However… I will shut up and you will see in the next chapter.

So, I hope you like what I'm doing. I hope no one will be upset, and by this point I'm sure you've guessed what's going on, but please stick with me for one more chapter. (Oh and an epilogue.) I have really enjoyed going through all of this with all of you. It was a very thrilling, and helpful experience. Please leave a review, and in the next chapter we finally have the grand finale.


	44. Twisting Fate

I was asked whether everyone was naked when they changed back. While a very amusing thought, and very probable, they are going to be fully clothed in this story. My excuse being that they were changed by magic and so magic can accomplish whatever it pleases. I.e. they are clothed in whatever they were wearing when they were cursed. Sorry, but even though creating a scene of amusing and embarrassing encounters of all these naked servants and other residents is tempting and sounds quite fun… it wouldn't fit into what I've got going on or planned. Maybe next time.

Disclaimer: I think you understand, otherwise I'd be charging you money, lol.

**Chapter 44: Twisting Fate**

"_My name is Kana. Only child of Kiyosato Akira and his wife, Sorceress Tomoe."_

Tomoe gasped, shaken by the revelation and also frightened by the presence of the daughter she had unknowingly left behind. "Kana…" Tears fell from her dark lashes, one hand fisting against her sternum, and her black eyes roamed her daughter's face. "My beautiful daughter." Her bottom lip trembled. "H… How I've longed to see you."

"And I you, Mother." The warm smile on Kana's face became gentler. "Through Kaoru-chan's eyes I have seen much already." The gentleness turned sad. "This curse has been very hard on you."

The black eyes of the sorceress fell in shame. "I am not what I once was. I am sorry you have seen me this way."

"Do not despair, Mother. Because of Kaoru-chan you have regained much of your true self. I have seen this as well. Her presence is very purifying."

"Her presence could never right the wrong I have done to good people. My vengeance nearly destroyed many, many lives, and now… it has destroyed hers. I have brought such dishonor upon the once great reputation of my bloodline."

Mounting the steps, Kana placed a light hand on Tomoe's bowed head, bringing her mother's almost pleading gaze back to her. "All shall be well. I have come to restore your honor, Mother."

"You have?" Frowning, Tomoe's features trembled in confusion. "I don't understand. How is it possible you are even here?"

Pained violet eyes studied the new arrival, his hope slowly dying inside his chest as she spoke to the sorceress. It was almost torturous that this woman looked nearly identical to Kaoru. Torturous because she was animate and alive while the Kaoru he loved was lying lifeless in his arms. Slowly lowering his gaze to her limp body, he caressed her face and hair, tormented by the freedom he had acquired and could not now share with her. Had he been wrong? Was the life he thought he had felt within that necklace not his beloved, but simply another witch?

"I will explain, but it must be brief. Lord Himura." Head lifting reluctantly from its resting place on Kaoru's forehead he gave the new witch his attention. The warm smile was back on her face and it made him feel like she was dealing with a wounded animal. "When I told you earlier that I was not your beloved, I was referring only of the consciousness now speaking to you. I am Kana, but I own only a bare fraction of the life that is within this vessel." Gently her hand touched the necklace resting against her chest. "Another bare fraction is the remaining magic leftover from my mother, Sorceress Tomoe, and is all that remains of the spell binding her to this world. The rest of the energy stored here belongs to Kamiya Kaoru."

"It does? Then I was correct?" The returning grip of hope constricted his lungs, his arms tightening around Kaoru's body. "Kaoru is still here?"

This time her smile was just as breathtaking as Kaoru's could be. "Yes. Ever clinging to life, she is quite stubborn. Even without my help she would not have surrendered easily."

"You helped her?" Surprised, Kenshin felt new gratitude. Tomoe however felt a different form of surprise.

"For how long? Binding a soul to such an object takes a lot of preparation."

Kana titled a smaller smile over her shoulder, the look mysterious. "Since before she was born. When I was but a child, I had a vision. I had many powers that I inherited from my mother before me, but my strongest assets were the visions I was given. In my vision I saw my mother grieving for the loss of her loved ones and casting a vengeful curse upon the residents of this palace. A thousand years later a girl would find her way here and cast a pebble into the pond of fate. Because of her the lord was able to comprehend emotions he never knew, and so teaching him to recognize and accept compassion and love. To be able to break the curse, he needed to meet her. However, I saw also that she would die as a result of this need. Neither her life nor her death was unnecessary. The lord would need to witness both. Unfortunately, the future I saw for the lord and this palace after her death was not a desirable one. Even with the ending of the curse. I will not repeat what I saw for fear of the repercussions, but know only that nothing happy would ever come from such a timeline.

"It was not until many years later that I came to the solution. I wished to help, but I knew no way to do so. Visiting the palace was not an option, as it would negatively affect everything that I saw, and I had no way to get there as a child, anyway. During my adolescent years I was invited to live at the Emperor's court, where I learned and experienced much. It was there that I met my husband and we agreed to move back to my home to settle down. It was during the pregnancy of my first child that I understood what I was to do. The vision came to me suddenly, showing me a detail that I had missed in the beginning. If I were to place a dormant spell within my daughter, a spell devoted only to Kaoru and the conclusion of this moment, I could change the despair I once saw into hope."

"I don't understand." Frowning, Kenshin glanced down at the necklace then back up to her face. "How could casting a spell on your own daughter affect Kaoru?" The obvious answer came to him even as the words left his mouth, and he sharply studied her features again. Smiling kindly, Kana nodded.

"The dormant spell I placed within my daughter would pass itself down through each first born daughter of my direct bloodline until it found the right carrier. Then and only then would the spell take affect and wake the consciousness you are now speaking to."

"Kaoru-chan is a descendent of your house?" Tomoe finally stood once more, but there was horror on her features.

"Not just mine. Of yours as well."

Trembling, Tomoe covered her mouth. "Was it punishment that I would unknowingly harm my own blood with this curse?"

"There may have been no other way, Mother. Fate has a way of fixing our mistakes in ways that cancel out our karma. That she is of your own blood merely suggests that our family needed to correct the wrong that was done, no matter how long it took."

"Excuse me, uh… Lady Kana." All eyes swung to the man kneeling behind Kenshin, his grey-blue eyes staring up the vision of a woman that resembled both his daughter and his wife.

"Yes, please speak, Kamiya-san."

"My wife… she was also a daughter of your bloodline."

"Yes. What is it that you wish to ask?"

"The stories she told, were they also part of your plan?"

Amused, Kana smiled laughingly. "Very good. This was indeed part of what needed to be done. Kaoru was never meant to be prejudiced against the palace. Growing up, I heard the rumors that were spreading about the palace and the demon that had supposedly taken up residence there. If what I saw in my vision was correct, Kaoru would be born near the palace and such rumors would undoubtedly reach her ears. To prevent any intolerance from taking root in her heart and mind I started a tradition in my village, relating all of the facts that I had seen in my visions about the occurrences that led up to the curse. I had to be selective, however, some of the stories were meant to be told to the daughters."

"Others were told to the sons." Haruki spoke up next to Koshijirou, and then ducked his head in apology when Kana lifted a brow at his interruption. "Sorry, ma'am."

"Is that why you are here?" All three boys shot him a sheepish look.

"We didn't know about this, sensei! We didn't know she was going to die!" Desperate, Kazuki pleaded with his master to understand. "We knew only that we would be needed by the Lady Kana when the time came."

"That will be enough, young one." Calming them with a hand, Kana waited until the three boys nodded in understanding. "I have much left to explain and time is running short." Returning her attention to the lord, his violet irises steady on her face, she dropped her eyes to the girl in his arms and smiled fondly as her train of thought reconnected. "When Kaoru was born the spell passed on to her, but did not awaken until her first visit to the palace. The necklace was a large part of my plan, once it was created for her and placed around her neck the spell reacted to the magic already within it." Touching a hand to it, it glowed in reaction. "Because it was essentially created by my mother and was already acclimated to magic it was the perfect vessel. After a few days my spell was able to transfer into the petal without damaging the magic already there and then begin its preparations. All that was left was enough time to fulfill its duty."

"Which was what?"

Tomoe stepped up next to her daughter and shared a smile with her, both sets of black eyes settling on the lord. "To bind Kaoru's soul to the petal. With all of her life-force stored within it, the necklace now anchors her soul. It is not a large enough vessel to hold both her life energy and her spirit, but I was prepared for that. What I was not prepared for was the effect living here at the palace would have on her. The result of living within the boundaries of the curse's magic had an amazing impression on her."

"Because Kaoru can use magic?"

"Because Kaoru has magic of her own. The necklace did not assist her, Lord Himura. Whatever spell she cast on you and your people was of her own making."

Astonished, Kenshin glanced down at the girl in his lap, but his amazement turned quickly to shock. "You said you were unprepared. Does that mean something has gone wrong?"

"No, we were very lucky. I did begin to worry when the energy I was pulling into the necklace abruptly tripled in strength after a mere two months of living here. It was very erratic and uncontrolled in the beginning, and there were a few times I thought it might very well break the petal in consequence. Her magic, like the rest of the magic passed on through my blood, is diluted. Some of the children can consciously use it, while others unconsciously tap its energy. It is dangerous to unconsciously use magic, but there have been very few with enough energy to do more damage than simply breaking glass or spilling a tea cup. Kaoru-chan though… caused a blizzard just so her father could stay longer on his visit." Kenshin balked, the extreme difference of power between the examples very blatant. Behind him her father was just as surprised.

"There have been other instances, such as making it rain for nearly a week when she found out about the truth behind the curse. The strength of her magic in these two instances is shocking, but it's the unpredictability that is truly dangerous. The night you two fought out in the snow and she threatened to leave, I thought I was going to lose her. I am still not certain what happened, between that solid section of cliff suddenly becoming brittle and the chain of the necklace breaking. Whatever she caused almost destroyed this vessel. I am very grateful you apologized, otherwise I do not know what would have happened."

"It sounds as if she only performs such magic when she is upset." Tomoe spoke thoughtfully, pulling Kenshin's stunned gaze from one witch to the other. Black eyes connected with his, then shot to Kana. "If that is so, bringing her back could be dangerous as well."

Shocked, Kenshin tried to stand, his legs trembling at the abrupt action and allowing him only to gain another step up on the stairs. "Are you saying you wish her to stay dead?"

"Be calm." Lifting an arm between them, Kana intervened. "I am telling you this for a reason. If all goes well you must allow Kaoru-chan to learn how to control her power. I know you have no love for magic because of this curse, but it is necessary for her to do so. Magic is a part of her, a very strong part of her, and it will not always cause unpleasant things. Sadness may cause mishaps, but when she is happy her magic is stable and much stronger. The day you two played in the cherry grove and the night you two watched the fireflies calmed her heart. The happier she was the stronger this vessel became. The night she spoke with your mother mended much of the unconscious damage done to this necklace." Violet eyes widened in shock, but Kana merely smiled. "I showed her the vision, but she did much of the work connecting to your family… but I will leave this story to her. What I need to know is if you are willing to let her control her magic."

"O-of course." Blindsided by the thought of Kaoru speaking with his long dead mother, Kenshin jerked his thoughts back to the present. "I would never force her to be someone she is not. So please… I know all of this is important, but… I just want her back."

Smiling, Kana knelt in front of him. "I know you do, Lord Himura, and I know you are impatient, but there is one last thing that I must explain to you. Bringing her back will be difficult and it is imperative that you understand the details. Because neither I nor my mother has enough magic left to perform the correct spell to pull Kaoru's soul back, I must use the magic of another."

"Three others, actually." Ren stood at the base of the stairs, his timid voice breaking in.

"Yes, three others, as long as they are willing."

"Of course!" The other two stood as well, their voices chiming in. Crowding onto the steps when they were beckoned, Kana spoke quickly to them about what they needed to do. Each nodding in turn, she cast one last look at the youngest, her smile pursing on her lips.

"You already knew all of this."

Blushing, Ren ducked his head. "I have inherited a weak gift of sight. I saw this when I was young, and my mother made me promise not to tell anyone." The two brothers glared and he ducked his head further. "Sorry."

"You will be a strong asset to this then." Patting him on the head, she turned back to the lord once again. "They will assist." Nodding his head impatiently, Kenshin hurried her along. "I must ask for your help as well, Lord Himura."

Brow line furrowing, Kenshin could not see what help he would be, but gave his consent quickly. "Yes of course. Whatever you need."

"Do not be so hasty. I do not think you will decline, but I must warn you of the risks. As I said before Kaoru's soul is only anchored to this necklace. When I transfer her life back into her body I must use the anchor I have placed to coax her soul back as well. To perform such a task will take more than just magic. Right now her soul is residing in a place halfway between this life and the afterlife. The anchor is keeping her from passing on completely, but during the transfer I must break the anchor. To keep her from slipping away I need to give her a safety. I wish for you to do this."

"What do I need to do?"

"You must convince her to come back."

"That's it?"

"It will not be as easy as it sounds. Also, there are consequences." Closing her eyes, Kana sighed. "If this does not work, there is a possibility that your own soul will be dragged into death with her. What I am doing is essentially binding your souls together, but you must not try to force her soul to come back. This bond will be only as strong as the both of you make it. If you try to force her and she fights you, the bond will snap easily. If your wishes are the same, however, the bond will solidify, but just as you can pull her back here, she can also pull you there. You must be careful."

Hearing her explanation, Kenshin felt almost overwhelmingly relieved. Either way, it seemed they would be together. That was essentially all he wanted. "I will gladly do this, Kana-dono."

"I had no doubt you would, but I still need to warn you of one last side-effect. If all goes well and she returns to you this bond that I have placed will remain. It is not something that can be undone by magic, and once Kaoru's soul returns there will be nothing separating you two. The closer you become the stronger the bond will become. You must be careful of it, because even I do not know how it will affect you. There is a possibility of it becoming solid enough to irrevocably link you in life and death. Do you understand what this means, Lord Himura?"

Kenshin blinked. "Are you saying if I were to die first it would kill her as well?"

"There is a possibility."

"I see. Then I shall simply have to be careful from now on."

Smiling, Kana nodded. "You shall have to take care of you both." Touching a hand to the necklace, the clasp loosened, pooling the chain in her palm so she could press the glass petal to Kaoru's chest. "Are you ready, boys?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Very good. Mother." Tomoe knelt next to her. "I need you to use the last of your magic to heal her body. Afterwards… we can both meet father in the afterlife."

"Nothing would please me more."

Kana's other hand reached out, the tips of her fingers lightly pushing against Kenshin's chest. Darting a look at the two women before him, then down at the one in his arms, Kenshin closed his eyes on a deep breath. "Thank you. I know this is only for your mother, but you are also bringing back the woman I love. After what I did…"

"What you did, Lord Himura?" There was a smile in her voice, her words lightly chastising. "Do you mean believing the obvious lie Hisano-dono told you? Or do you mean helping the villagers you were supposed to kill escape from your father's wrath?" Kenshin tilted his face away, his features furrowing. "I am well aware you knew Hisano-dono was not the sorceress, and yet you chose to accept her sacrifice and respect her wishes. Was it because you wanted the real sorceress to carry out the orders given to her by the Emperor?"

Tomoe was staring, but Kenshin's eyes opened only enough to look at the hand touching his chest and the one now covering the wound in Kaoru's stomach. A mother and daughter, and both had reason to hate him. "I will admit… I saw a way to atone for my sins in the order given to the sorceress. I wanted you to kill all three of us, Kiyosato-dono… but now I am grateful that you didn't." Bowing his head in respect, Kenshin shifted Kaoru closer into his chest. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet her."

Tomoe smiled sadly. "Thank you, Lord Himura, for sparing my daughter."

A sudden, amazed thought came to him, and he huffed out a breath in wonder. "I suppose if I had not, Kaoru would have never been born."

Laughing, Kana grinned. "And you two would have never met. What a strange twist of fate."

Smiling, Tomoe finally felt at peace. "Yes. Fate is a very mysterious power." Placing her free hand briefly on the back of Kenshin's head, she gave him the blessing he had asked for barely twelve hours before. "May happiness and joy find you both and keep you in their company for the rest of your lives."

X

Kaoru yawned, her head falling back to lean against the tree behind her. It was a beautiful cherry blossom tree, its branches full of rich blooms. Its fragrance was sweet and relaxing, and with its shade blocking her from the sun's heat and the light breeze playing with her bangs, she felt sleepy. Sitting between its roots, her arms crossed in her lap, she lazily gazed out across a small lake, trying to discern what was on the other side. The bank was close, and not far from her was a small ferry waiting invitingly for her to climb on board and explore. Too content to move from her resting spot, Kaoru thought she might do that later. Right now she had no compulsion to leave.

Besides, if she waited long enough Kenshin might show up soon. Smiling drowsily, she let her eyes slide closed. Not too soon, she hoped. Kaoru didn't mind waiting for him, and when he did show, they could explore together. Sharing the discoveries was so much more appealing than going alone.

Yawning again, Kaoru stood and circled the tree. It was quite large, and as she dragged her fingers along the bark she was reminded of the day they had played in the cherry grove. Grinning, she hugged herself to the trunk, her chin lifted so that she was gazing upwards along the trunk. Perhaps they could play some more when he showed up. Maybe if she thought up a lot of games they could spend quite some time there. Kaoru liked the cherry tree. It was warm and inviting.

Giggling, she danced her way around it, twirling in circles as the blossoms danced and showered her in petals. Whirling, she grabbed the trunk and ducked from side to side, imagining another playing with her. There was mischief in his eyes and promise in his smile. Kaoru wouldn't even mind getting caught. Laughing at her own fancies, she coyly skipped away to the edge of the shade made by the cherry blossoms, her fingers tangling with the skinny ends of the branches. She really hoped the time flew by for her. It was going to be wonderful when he did show, because then they would be together forever.

Rattling the branches, she laughed as blossoms covered her head and shoulders. Collecting them in her cupped palms, she threw them back into the air just to watch them fall a second time. Eyes lifted skyward, sapphire facing blue, she giggled and snorted as the petals brushed her face and nose. As the last one caressed her cheek, she lowered her gaze to the lake again, feeling something calling for her. Frowning, she backed herself further under the embracing limbs. She didn't want to go. She wanted to wait for Kenshin.

Bumping against the trunk, she snaked her hands back and encircled the tree behind her, anchoring herself. The voice calling for her was enticing, but it made her feel cold. Whatever it wanted was not what she wanted.

Movement by the ferry caught her attention, averting her eyes from the distant shore to the one close by. Blinking, she found two women climbing aboard the small raft, their hands clasped together. Recognizing one, Kaoru let go of the tree and hopped forward.

"Tomoe-dono!" Waving a hand to catch her attention, Kaoru smiled when both women turned. Instead of delight, however, both wore looks of fear, Tomoe's free hand going to her mouth. The other woman held up her hand as if to detain her from moving.

"Stop, Kaoru-chan! Do not come any closer!" Freezing, Kaoru dropped her arm to her side, her feet almost to the edge of her tree's domain.

"What's wrong?"

"You must not come here! You must go back!"

"But… I just wanted to say hello to Tomoe-dono?" Pausing, Kaoru tilted her head and studied the new woman. "Do I know you?" Eyebrows lifting, Kaoru's mouth dropped in shock. "Is that you, Mother?"

Laughing despite herself, Kana shook her head. "That is very nearly correct, Kaoru-chan, but no, I am not Sayoko. Please, young one, go back. Lord Himura will be calling for you soon."

"Kenshin?" Excited, Kaoru stepped forward without thinking. "Where is he? Can I go to him?" Crossing the boundary line with one foot, Kaoru gasped as the air turned abruptly cold.

"Kaoru-chan! Hurry! Go back!" Falling backwards as the ground shook, Kaoru clenched her eyes shut in anticipation of the landing. When her eyes opened again, the ferry and the women were already well out on the lake. "Lord Himura will call for you! You must follow his voice and go back! Do not linger here! Do not let yourself be taken!"

"I don't understand! I want to stay here! I'm going to wait for Kenshin!"

"_Kaoru."_

The voice ghosted across her ear from behind, twisting her neck back towards the tree. "Kenshin?" Struggling to her feet, Kaoru searched her surroundings. "Kenshin, where are you?" Unable to find him, she turned back to the lake, but the boat was gone now, and so was the perfect day. Darkness was covering the sky, the calm lake boiled and rolled with waves and the distant shore was no longer even partially visible. Frightened, Kaoru ran back for the tree and its welcoming presence.

The trunk her arms wrapped around, however, was not warm and alive. The bark was black and brittle, the roots rotten under her feet. Alarmed she looked up and found that the lower branches were dying, the blossoms wilting and falling to the ground. The higher branches were still vibrant, however, but the sickness was spreading upwards fast.

Another voice called to her, but it was not Kenshin's loving voice. It was the cold one from the lake, but this time it did not sound enticing. This time it hid none of its irritation. This voice wanted her, and it did not like her disobeying. Glancing over her shoulder she gasped as the waters from the lake were closer now, washing over the darkening ground and reaching for her legs to pull her under. Shaking her head, she rejected the idea. Kaoru didn't want to drown, she wanted to fly.

"_Kaoru, come back. Please come back."_

"Kenshin!" Searching again, this time she was able to pinpoint the origin of his voice. It was coming from up the tree. Darting a look at the waters, she yelped and threw herself at the lower branches just as they splashed against the roots. Pulling herself up, she frantically began to climb.

"_Kaoru, beloved, you promised not to leave me again."_

"Kenshin, wait!" The disease was spreading rapidly, keeping the beauty of life just out of her reach. Desperate to climb faster, her foot slipped, leaving her dangling by her arms. The water was rising up the trunk after her, small tendrils snaking up to grab at her ankles. Kicking her feet, she broke their hold, tears threatening her eyes as she fought to find purchase. "Help me, Kenshin!"

"_I have you, Kaoru. I won't let go. I'll never let go."_

Warmth enveloped her, its invading touch tugging sharply at her chest like a lifeline someone else held the other end of, and she was suddenly propelled upward. Snagging a branch with her foot, she easily pulled her weight up, just like she weighed nothing at all.

Just shy of the very top she overtook the shadow of death, her hand grasping the last branch still clinging to life. Kenshin's voice was still beckoning her to come back, and as she grinned in triumph at reaching the pinnacle, the water grabbed firmly at her ankle. Yanked downward, she held fast to the last live piece of her tree, bending the supple branch into a wide arc. Crying out, she wrapped her other arm around the slim trunk and tried to rip herself from the water's clutches. In the midst of the struggle the branch in her hand snapped from the force, breaking it clean. Desperate to be free and follow the voice of her lover back to his side, Kaoru whipped the twig around, small cherry blossoms fluttering in the breeze. Smacking the water with all the force she could muster, life won over death and broke its hold. Scrambling her way up to the very top, she balanced herself precariously.

"Kenshin! Where are you?!"

"_Kaoru. Please. You have to come back."_

"I'm trying! I want to!" The water was regrouping quickly. She needed to escape. "Tell me what I need to do!"

"_I promise you'll want for nothing. I promise to always take care of you."_

"I know you will, Kenshin! I know you love me! Please, I want to come home!" Fighting tears, she clenched her eyes shut and clutched the small branch to her chest. "I love you, too."

"_Our life will be so wonderful together. Just like flying. It'll be just like flying, Kaoru."_

Eyes snapping open and pulling wide, Kaoru knew what she needed to do. Curling her legs, she flung herself out into the open air, her arms spread wide with the small branch still held in her hand. Light enveloped her just moments before the tree disappeared into darkness.

X

The sorceress and her daughter were already long since gone, the boys lying in an unconscious heap upon the steps. Kaoru's body was healed, the necklace a scattering of black dust on her white sleeping robe, but no matter what he said he could not get her soul to come back. With his arms tangled completely around her and his nose tucked into her hair he could feel the slow heartbeat that had returned to her body. Soft, almost nonexistent breath pushed from her mouth as well, but neither sign brought him joy. An animate body without a soul meant nothing to him.

"I don't want to live without you, beloved. Please… just come back."

Whatever bond Kana had created was either not strong enough or doing very little. Fearing he would break it, Kenshin had consciously left it untouched in the beginning. As his desperation grew however, his hold had tightened, trying to keep her from slipping away from him by force. Only a moment later and the strangest sensation had tugged at his chest, like a fishhook in skin. Terrified of snapping any connection he had with her, he had let go instantly. No other sensation had thrummed the line since.

Did that mean the bond had severed without him knowing? Was Kaoru gone? Had he lost her? Was it just his imagination, or was the heartbeat he felt from her body slowing down? Overwhelmed by the sudden return of sinking despair, Kenshin gasped for breath as the lifesaving hope he had been given shriveled into death with a painful cry.

"I'm not strong enough to lose you again, Kaoru. If you won't come back to me, then take me with you. I'll gladly go with you."

Gently a hand touched the back of his head, curling around the base of his skull. Wishing to hear no more placations, wanting nothing to interrupt or separate him from the only part of his lady that was left to him, he cringed from the contact. Arms wrapped firmly around Kaoru's shoulders, his hands weaved in her hair and fisted in her clothing as he burrowed himself closer into her neck. Instead of withdrawing at his obvious implication, though, the hand stroked his hair as if encouraged.

"Kenshin." The breathy, softly scolding voice stopped his heart, and the bond he had tiptoed around clenched firmly. This time it did not feel like a small fishhook, but more like a clamp. "Don't say such things. You know I would never wish death upon you."

"Kaoru." Kenshin's unsteady breathing was fairly loud in her ear, fluttering Kaoru's eyes open to find her vision obscured by hair. Weakly smiling, her body stiff and unresponsive, she blinked his red hairs out of her lashes. There was so much relief in his voice that it made her heart ache, the hand she had miraculously lifted digging at his tie to tangle in his low ponytail. "I thought I had lost you. I thought… you weren't coming back."

"I did promise to stay." Muscles trembling, Kaoru's arm suddenly felt heavy and her touch shifted on the back of his skull. Lightly two of her fingers brushed across his neck, touching bare skin. The abrupt contact was startling when she was used to feeling scales.

Shivering, Kenshin's relief made him feel at once weak and agitated. "Yes you did, beloved." Relaxing his desperate hold, he finally sat back, strangely nervous and eager to see as well as hear that she was fine. The hand that was touching him slipped around the front of his neck, slowly running her thumb along his jaw. Too anxious to reassure himself that she was fine, he missed the way her sapphire eyes widened in surprise. Flitting their revived depths over his face, her hand flinched back just slightly, a bit unsure.

"Kenshin?"

The muscles in his face twitched with emotion, the action still overcompensating for absent scales. As she watched, a lone tear slipped from one eye, his lashes falling too late to stall it. Concerned sympathy contorted her features and she immediately wiped the droplet away, but her uncertainty returned the moment his eyes blinked back open.

They were the same warm violet, and his hair was the same brilliant red. The rest of him, however, was deceitfully different, and yet the longer she looked the more similar he seemed. Without a doubt she recognized certain aspects about him that mirrored the painting she had seen in his room. There were, however, subtle differences about him that were not portrayed or were missing from the painting. He looked younger, which she found odd, but more importantly, he had a very distinctive aura about him that was not present in the scene Katsu had created. The man holding her held no resemblances to any of the likenesses she had thought to be him. Not the older brother she had seen in her dream, nor the younger version of himself, nor even the recreated vision in his hidden painting. This man was most definitely her palace lord, free and unhindered by the images and labels others had pressed upon him.

The doubt in her gaze turned to wonder, her fingers unconsciously flexing when his hand covered hers. A smile tugged on the corners of her lips and she struggled to shift in his arms. "I can see you, Kenshin." Laughing softly in delight, she tried to shift again. "I see you." Fingers pulling him closer, her voice whispering her satisfaction, her eyes slid closed as she planted her lips on his. It was several moments of enjoyment later before she was forced to pull away because of the weak muscles in her neck. Head resting on his shoulder, she sighed. "I'm glad you were finally able to find the real you."

"You found him, Kaoru, not me."

Eyelashes fluttering tiredly, she snuggled her nose against his jaw. "I only encouraged you to find him."

Smiling in amusement, Kenshin shook his head at her stubbornness. "Say what you want. I will always know better."

As the scope of their world expanded, murmuring invaded the lingering moment they had shared. It was a muffled cacophony of sound that was saturated with curiosity, anxiety, dismay, fear, sorrow, confusion, and hope. Whatever had happened on the steps to the shrine, no one could tell or correctly assume. A rumor had spread from the front that the lady might be given back to them, but no one knew how such a feat was possible.

Calloused fingers released hers to brush back the bangs in her eyes. "Everyone is worried for you, my lady. We should let them know you have returned."

"Everyone?" Eyes widening she listened to the agitated buzz of noise ebb and swell. "Kenshin… the curse is gone. That means everyone is normal again."

"Yes, my lady." Chuckling, he absently adjusted the loose collar of her robe. "Are you anxious to see what my people really look like?"

"Of course! But I… I won't recognize anyone. Do you think they will be offended?"

"Don't worry. You have plenty of time to get to know them all over again. Can you stand?"

"I think you'll have to help me."

"With pleasure, my lady."

Hooking his arm under her knees he stood, his legs only slightly shaky underneath him. The yard quieted as he turned, all eyes trained on their master, and watched with bated breath as he descended the steps. At the bottom, his eyes swept over the faces directly in front of him before landing on Koshijirou. There was restrained anticipation in his bruised eyes, and Kenshin tried a slight smile to relieve him of his apprehension. Shifting her weight after a moment, he sat her gently on her feet. When it was apparent she was standing on her own the silence broke and several different cries rippled backwards through the crowd.

The range of happiness was just as wide as their concern had been before; some of the residents laughing, some crying, while others gave praise to whomever they thought responsible. Leaning heavily against Kenshin out of necessity, Kaoru's eyes roved over the faces she could see, amazed by the reactions but also by the people themselves. It was heartwarming to know she had so many people who cared for her, and she never felt surer about where her home was than at that exact moment. These people loved her, their master loved her, and she loved them.

As her gaze made a full revolution of the half-circle in front of her she finally caught sight of her father standing only slightly behind them and to the side. His good hand was clenched into the hair of his bowed head, and his weakened posture sparked concern for his wellbeing. "Daddy, are you alright? What are you doing up? You're injured. You should be resting."

Steel blue eyes darted up, his features fighting amusement and joyful relief. "Aijou, you crazy girl. How can you scold me when you…?" Emotion choked his voice, but he didn't look away to hide his tears. His eyes told her he was afraid she would disappear.

"Daddy?"

"I'm alright, girl." Too weak to go to him, Kaoru was forced to let him step closer, his good arm wrapping around her for a quick, firm hug. "Just don't ever do something so reckless again. Parents are not supposed to bury their children." Kissing her on the forehead like he used to do when she was a child, Koshijirou stepped back and nodded at Kenshin. "I trust you to take care of her. I'll see to these boys."

"The boys?" Twisting her head to look over her shoulder, Kaoru blinked in shock at the prone bodies. "What happened to them? Are they alright?"

"They're fine, aijou. Just resting."

"But… I don't understand what's going on."

"Relax, aijou. You need to rest."

"Me? But you…"

"Kaoru." Interrupted, Kaoru looked back at Kenshin, the astonishment in his voice catching her attention. "Look." Allowing him to shift her, she raised her eyes to what he was indicating, blinking at the open doorway to the shrine. The stronger morning light was reflecting into the interior, illuminating it enough to see what was inside. The tree was still present, but its branches were no longer barren and dead. Instead they were covered in blossoms. Thousands upon thousands of cherry blossoms that rustled and shifted in the breeze that blew through the open shoji. They were live and supple, no longer glass and cold. The sign was apparent. Life would now begin again.

"How beautiful." In awe, Kaoru clutched at Kenshin's torn and ragged kimono, her body leaning heavily into his.

"I agree."

"You do?"

Lifting an eyebrow, an action he had been unable to do for a thousand years, Kenshin questioned the small frown on her face. "Of course. Is there some reason I should not?"

"Well, I just thought you didn't like Tomo…" Legs giving out completely she gasped in shock and was unable to complete her thought. Catching her quickly, Kenshin frowned in worry.

"We need to take you somewhere you can rest. It seems your body is still weak from…" Shying away from where the thought led, Kenshin shook his head and hefted her into his arms. "You need to rest."

"A-alright."

The crowd was still chattering away as Kenshin stepped into the middle of them, everyone reacquainting themselves or talking about what needed to be done. Some were calling out names, searching for loved ones they couldn't find. Many spoke their relief at seeing her well as they passed by, their heads ducking in respect to her and to their master. Trying to smile at them and place names with faces, Kaoru found she could recognize very few of them by their voice alone. Weak and weary, she gave up pushing herself, her head lying limply on Kenshin's shoulder as she relied on him to traverse the torrent of humans that had suddenly infested the palace. It was amusing that she found their appearances so foreign and unnatural.

Chuckling at her private thoughts, she blinked as a strong voice shouted over the crowd. "Milady! Milady! Wait for me!" Kaoru was shocked to realize that this voice was blatantly familiar.

From out of the throng of bodies a small woman forced her way into the clearing before them, her lungs gasping for breath as she focused her wide, aquamarine eyes on her. She was very petite, and pretty in a pixie way. A long, dark braid trailed down her back, and she wore an outfit that, while announcing her as a lady's servant, was still well made and quite beautiful in Kaoru's eyes.

"Misao?"

At the sound of her name her lips trembled and she started crying, thick tears rolling down her cheeks in overdramatic joy. "I was so worried, milady! You ran off and I couldn't find you, and then I heard you were dead! I'm so glad you're alright! And you recognized me! I'm so happy!"

"Calm down, Misao-san. The lady is fine now." Kenshin's firm voice quieted her hysterics, which Kaoru was quite grateful for. There was a headache fighting for dominance right behind her forehead and for some reason her stomach was beginning to churn. Then there was also the strange sensation in her chest that she had felt ever since waking up in Kenshin's arms. She wasn't completely stable yet, and the chaos in the yard was not helping her. Turning her face into Kenshin's kimono, she missed the frown he angled down on her. The strange sensation they were unwittingly sharing was making his stomach churn in empathy.

Looking up to order Misao out of the way, he was saved the trouble when another disturbance from the other side of the crowd erupted a taller person out into their small opening. Tall and well toned, his black hair cropped and his clothing nondescript, he was breathing heavily as well, but his ice blue eyes were not looking for the lady. Not Kenshin's lady, anyway. They locked instead on the smaller woman still sniffling next to them. Blinking now, her mouth dropped open and her tears were forgotten.

"Aoshi-sama!"

Throwing herself across the distance between them she latched herself to his chest, her feet dangling quite a ways from the ground. Catching her in what looked like a practiced move, Aoshi said nothing, but didn't look like he was going to let go anytime soon. Watching the interaction in brief surprise, Kenshin averted his eyes quickly and used the opportunity to escape. Kaoru however was trying not to laugh for fear of waking up her still dozing headache.

"Well I guess I know where I stand on Misao's list of important people."

Trying to hide his grin, Kenshin murmured his reply back. "Don't worry, beloved. You are on the top of mine."

"Hmm. That will always be pleasing to hear."

"Wait!" The call was from behind them and Kaoru felt Kenshin's shoulders stiffen. "Oh, I'm sorry, Aoshi-sama, but I need to go with the lady." Only Kaoru saw the desperate look that crossed Kenshin's face.

"That's quite alright, Misao-san. I will take care of my lady. You stay here and… carry on." Muffling her snort into his shoulder, Kaoru earned herself another lifted eyebrow.

"Oh, well if you're sure." Sounding reluctant and yet happy at the same time, Misao was barely able to draw out the syllables before Kenshin was reaffirming his decision.

"I am quite sure. You may return to your duties in two hours."

"Thank you, milord!"

"Anything to keep you occupied." Muttering under his breath, he sighed as Kaoru continued to giggle.

"You make it sound like her presence would only be a nuisance."

Adjusting her weight, he used the motion to hide the caress of his nose in her hair. "I suppose I simply don't wish to share you yet."

"Oh."

Though he made the claim, they were barely left alone. Between fulfilling his duties as the master and several of the servants paying the lady a visit, Kaoru got little rest and Kenshin was unable to stay fully by her side. He would not go far for long, however, and after midday he ordered everyone to leave the lady alone so that she could truly rest. With Misao on guard as Kaoru dozed on one of the porches, Kenshin reluctantly left so he could direct the cleanup of the palace. Many of the pavilions had been ransacked, including his own and Kaoru's. The northern pavilion that had at one time belonged to his mother was overturned but fortunately many of the objects that had been taken were later found scattered among the bandits.

The fires were put out first thing, but the buildings that were affected were mostly unsalvageable. They would have to be demolished and then rebuilt, and though the destruction was nothing to celebrate, Shinobu was unable to hide his glee at finally having something to do. The many dead were taken care of properly and with honor, whether bandit or resident, and the remaining living bandits were thrown in a holding cell that had not been used in longer than anyone could rightly remember. Too shocked by the transformation of the palace residents, the bandits complained little but did not seem to like getting too close to anyone.

The wounded, including Kaoru's father and the still unconscious boys, were all taken to the infirmary, a building that had not been used for its intended purpose in too long as well. Since this left the orphans of the palace homeless, Kenshin commissioned a new building be found and revamped for their benefit.

The residents each adjusted differently to their returned forms, some shakily walking on two legs again, while others practically skipped with glee. It was amusing and at times embarrassing, but Kenshin felt undeniably relieved by the freedom that had finally found his home. For too long they had suffered under the curse his presence had forced upon them. Not one of them was complaining or accusing and they seemed more than happy to continue on as they were. In time, he hoped to reward their loyalty. Now that they were released from the curse, he needed to make sure his multitude of subjects could slowly catch up to the time they were living in.

It was late in the evening before Kenshin was able to safely remove himself from the activities that were finally winding down. The strange vise-like grip that was tugging at his chest was hurting again, but a quick peek in on Kaoru assuaged the feeling. Her pavilion had been righted, and she was only just finishing the braid in her hair. It hurt and relieved him to see her, the last few days of nightmares still too fresh and real. There was vitality in her eyes again, though, the stiffness in her muscles disappearing as the day wore on. It almost seemed as if nothing had happened, and yet the bruises on his heart were still there to remind him.

The surprise in her own eyes every time she caught sight of him was amusing, and he could tell this new appearance he had reacquired would take time for her to grow used to. For him he had every intention of enjoying his human form every way he could. He no longer had to worry about claws, or horns, or tails, or talons, or wings… The wings he would miss admittedly, and he knew Kaoru already missed them. More than once he had caught her staring mournfully at his wingless back. The unconscious look of petulance on her face was hard not to respond to.

Surprise and then joy lit her face at the sight of him, and with a satisfied sigh the pain in his chest dissipated. It was the bond Kana had spoken of. There had been no chance to speak to Kaoru about it yet, but he knew that if he was experiencing these feelings of anxiety then she was more than likely party to them too. Kana had said that how it would affect them would be a mystery, but for now it seemed determined that they not leave each other for long. What, he wondered, would it be like after a few years? If only a few hours had strengthened it enough to produce anxiety, then a few years might make it nearly impossible for them to be apart. Briefly he wondered if that wouldn't irritate Kaoru. He didn't see how he would suffer from such an arrangement. Kenshin had spent enough time alone.

It was too late to do more than share a quick questioning of concern and then a much longer goodnight kiss. As he left for his own pavilion he realized that it was already getting harder to walk away from her. Was it merely because he didn't want to, or was the bond becoming irritable? Rolling his shoulders on a sigh, he tried to resign himself to the trembling of disquiet that was already setting in. It was not good when combined with the desires he already felt to keep her in his sights because of recent events. It was going to be a long night.

Itching at the stitches lining his chest, Kenshin kicked open his bedding and adjusted the sleeping robe he was wearing. Once again able to dress and undress himself, not to mention wear his own clothing, Kenshin tried to let his contentment over such a small detail relieve his dissatisfactions. It didn't last long, however, as it only reminded him of how pleasant it had actually been to have Kaoru helping him. Perhaps, if he was lucky, she might still do so every now and again.

_We will be married soon so be content. You have only a few more nights of this torture before she is able to stay with you for good._ Able to finally spare enough time for a personal matter, Kenshin had made a point of cornering Koshijirou in private. The conversation had gone considerably well, and Kaoru's father had actually seemed relieved to give his permission. Perhaps it had much to do with Kenshin asking him to stay at the palace. Then again, after everything that had happened, he might have been offended if Kenshin had not asked to marry his daughter.

It happened the moment the light was extinguished. Whether it was the total darkness or the simple fact that it was going to be several hours before he saw her again, Kenshin felt no desire to understand which. The panic that slammed into him left no room for any thought other than the crippling fear tearing away at what felt like the very center of his being. Scrambling for the door, he tripped into the hallway and to the outer tsumado before he knew what he was doing.

The doors clacked shut behind him as he stared across the walkways to the clattering doors of Kaoru's pavilion. Sapphire eyes were staring back, their depths wide and confused, and she was breathing just as hard as he was. Biting her lip when it began to tremble, he watched her instinctively cover the distance between them, her hands bracing her on the posts as her legs trembled beneath her. Quick stepping to meet her halfway, he automatically caught her in his embrace and released a shaky breath as the panic ebbed. For a long time they did nothing but stand interlocked in the middle of the veranda.

"Kenshin… what's going on?" The question was barely audible, but her confusion was quite clear. Sighing, Kenshin pulled her just a fraction closer and closed his eyes. "I… I've felt strange all day. I've never liked being away from you but now… I feel edgy and unfinished. Like I might go crazy if you aren't near, and just now… it felt…" To his horror she started to cry. "It felt just like I was back there again. Like that water was trying to drag me under and all I wanted was to follow your voice. I don't want to go back there again, Kenshin. Please don't make me."

"Back there?" Appalled by what she was insinuating, Kenshin's stomach plummeted and he thought he could guess what she was talking about. "Oh beloved, I would never make you go back. I want to keep you here with me. I'll keep you safe. I promise."

"I know I'm safe now. I just… I don't understand why I feel this way."

Comforting her as her crying intensified; he waited until she was calmer before explaining what Kana had done. She listened quietly, and it was only then did he regret making such a decision without letting her choose for herself.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. It's my fault. I was thinking only of getting you back, I didn't think about what could possibly happen afterwards. I didn't know it was going to be like this. I didn't know it was going to hurt you."

Digesting everything she had been told Kaoru chewed her lip, her nose pressed into his shoulder. "It doesn't hurt now, though, Kenshin. In fact I… well I feel wonderful when I'm with you. It's just when we're apart that I…"

"Yes. I have noticed as well. Kana-dono said that the bond would only continue to strengthen the closer we grow to one another. I'm afraid, Kaoru, that the longer we are together the worse this may become. I will understand if… that is not a life you would like to live." The words were sour in his mouth, but he forced himself to speak them. It was the truth. He did not wish to condemn her to such a co-dependent life when she was such an independent woman. "We may be able to find a way to sever the bond safely, but perhaps it might be best if we try to lessen it while it is still weak."

"Is that what you want?" Violet eyes blinked at the bitterness in her tone.

"I will do whatever is needed to keep you safe and happy, Kaoru, because _that _is all I want."

"Well then I want to keep it." Her fingers fisted in his yukata, her voice forceful with conviction. "I want to make it stronger. I don't ever want to be without you, and I already feel anxiety when you're not near anyway. Don't force me away from you for my own good. Don't do the same thing to me that I did to you. I don't want us to hurt each other again."

"Kaoru…"

"I like the idea of being connected to you, Kenshin. Not just in name or body but in spirit. It's like we're one person instead of two. And I know it makes you happy because I can feel it. I feel it right here." Pushing just enough space between them to press her hand over her chest, she lifted pleading eyes to his. "Can't you feel how happy it makes me?"

Swallowing, he nodded slowly, the warmth inside his chest so painfully intense he knew there was no other explanation but joy. "Yes."

"Then don't be sad. Don't feel guilty. I love you, Kenshin. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If this bond wants to keep us together, and we want to be together, then we shouldn't see it as anything but a blessing. And who knows, perhaps because this bond is new it is just unsure. Perhaps the longer we are together and the stronger it becomes it will grow to be tolerant as well. Perhaps it only intensifies our feelings. I mean… I was already feeling a bit panicked because… of everything that happened. Maybe it's actually my fault." Ashamed and contrite, Kaoru ducked her head.

"I don't want to be away from you either, Kaoru." Trying to reassure her, he let her know that if blame was indeed found with either of them, it would not be with just her. "Even if this bond makes us incapable of leaving the same room, I will be more than just happy, as long as I am with you."

"Really?"

"Yes"

Sighing in relief, Kaoru wrapped her arms back around his ribs and chewed on her lip some more. "So… what are we going to do now? I… I don't want to go back to my room. I mean… not alone, anyway." Blushing furiously and afraid the proper side his mother had drilled into him would resurface and push her away, she hurriedly continued. "We could stay out here. It's still pretty warm, and the wind is nice and light. If we get some blankets, we could be comfortable."

"Kaoru, I don't think…"

The palace lord was resurfacing and Kaoru feared what he didn't think was proper. "We're going to be married soon anyway right? It's not really dishonorable. You did get my dad's permission, and I don't really want anything big or fancy. We should just get married tomorrow. If we're married tomorrow, then what difference will tonight really make?"

"Kaoru…"

"We're going to be together anyway. Why do we need someone else to tell us it's okay? Maybe I prefer your way, now that I've had some time to think about it. Maybe we should just…"

His mouth planted itself firmly over hers and she had the feeling he was just trying to stop her rambling. Whatever he was trying to accomplish, however, it seemed to take a lot of strength to pull himself off again. "Kaoru…" Gasping for breath, he tilted his head back and fought his lungs. "We are not going to sleep out here. Your legs are trembling and you can barely stand. Your muscles are still recuperating; you need proper rest. You are going to sleep on a futon and that's final."

"But…"

Stern violet eyes dropped to meet hers and she let her objections die off. Satisfied that she would not try to interrupt him, he lifted a hand to pet her hair and fought a grin. "Besides, my lady, it has been far too long since I was last able to sleep lying on my back. I really wish to try it out again."

"Oh, I'm… I'm sorry…" She sounded more disappointed than sorry. "I didn't think about that. …I understand. I'll just…" Chest quivering, she lifted her chin. "I'll be fine. It should calm down after awhile, right? Goodnight again, Kenshin."

"Don't be silly, beloved." Keeping his arm firmly wrapped around her waist, he turned to coax her towards his rooms. "I won't be able to stand it either." Sapphire eyes glanced up at him, wide and questioning. "And I agree. We shall be married tomorrow and no later."

"Then I am… staying in your room tonight?"

"If that is agreeable." Eagerly her head nodded, fearing the return of that overwhelming panic his absence had brought. Smiling gently, he opened the tsumado leading into his pavilion. "I have often wondered at how nice it might be to sleep and wake next to you. I suspect it shall be a pleasant experience." Chewing her lip, Kaoru glanced nervously at him again.

"Kenshin?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep."

Taking a steadying breath, he stepped up into his inner room and confessed. "I doubt I will either."

X

A/N: First and foremost… Merry Christmas! And I hope you have a Happy New Year, too. Hope this year was a good one for everybody, and I hope next year will be even better! And hey, the world didn't end! XD

So this is the final chapter… how sad. I'm going to do an epilogue, but this is the true finish to the plot line. I hope everyone has enjoyed this story, and this chapter. I hope you understood the ending, Kana's presence, and everything else. I don't think I have anything to explain, but if you do have any questions this will be the last chance for you to ask, because I will have only the epilogue left to answer them. I'm sad to see my story go, but I am also relieved. I wanted to finish it before the end of the year, because I am finally going back to school! That means I won't have any time left over to spend on my stories for awhile. I didn't want to do that to this story, and I'm sorry that it is going to happen to my others. I won't forget them, though, and I intend to try and finish them. I do hope life lets me.

Once again, thank you so much for sticking around with me. I hope you find plenty other stories to read and enjoy. Please let me know what you thought by leaving me a review. I have noticed I am only five away from breaking a 1000! How wonderful! You guys are simply the best! Hope to see you soon in the epilogue, and perhaps in any of my other stories, or new ones I might attempt. There are several rattling around in my brain. Maybe I should finally sit down and attempt a real book… but fan fiction is just too much fun, lol. Ciao!


	45. In Full Flight

There is a certain character making a guest appearance in this chapter. I made a point of finding a place for him since he was asked for quite insistently near the beginning of this story. XD Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: Though the story is mine, the characters I borrowed took flight within it.

**Epilogue: In Full Flight**

Sapphire irises roved over the painting covering the entire wall in front of her. It was everything she was beginning to expect from Katsu, and yet she could never get over how beautiful he could paint. The colors were vivid, the style elegant, and the detail was exact and yet vague at the same time. Smiling as the man in her peripheral vision fidgeted almost nervously for what was not the first time, she sighed out a happy breath and turned her eyes on him.

He was an almost delicate looking man, with a slim build and the hands of an artist. Jet black hair hung long around his face, barely contained by a tie that had almost slipped off the ends down his back. Black eyes were blinking expectantly, waiting anxiously for her verdict. It was an impossibly cute response that reminded her of the lemur he used to be. It was no wonder Tae had fallen in love with him.

"It's simply wonderful, Katsuhiro. I love it." Turning her eyes slowly back to the painting, her lips bowing into an expression of soft awe, she missed the proud, beaming smile that lit his face. A gentle breeze rustled through the small courtyard behind her, swaying the branches of a single cherry tree situated perfectly at its middle. It was a treasured symbol of their secluded mountain palace, a place many came to offer prayers and ask for blessings. To allow room for it to grow the original shrine that had covered it was now gone, and in its place a covered walkway surrounded its open courtyard on all sides.

"Thank you very much, my lady. I am glad you are pleased." Katsu bowed at the waist, his joy of her praise still apparent. Glad to have a chance to praise any of the palace residents, Kaoru's grin widened and her eyes swept over the painting again.

It was a wide, sweeping painting that began at one end and told a story as it progressed to the other. There was tragedy and despair, revenge and torment, hope and then finally love. Without any prior knowledge to what the artist was referring to, it would simply be a painting full of rich emotion and vibrant beauty. Everyone at the palace would be aware, though, and that was why it was going to reside in a protected setting in the new shrine that surrounded the reborn cherry tree. This place symbolized the end of their old lives, the reign of the curse, and now the beginning of a new era of time. Katsu had wished to give life to that story with a visual representation of what everyone should be grateful for.

"I've been telling him that for weeks, but he simply would not be satisfied until he heard it from you, my lady." An amused voice came from behind Kaoru, vying for her attention. Smiling at Tae's gracefully swaying form as she came around the walk, Kaoru sympathized with her statement in mock resignation.

"I suppose they simply think wives are meant to pay compliments and are not to be taken seriously." Katsu spluttered an indignant denial, and Kaoru and Tae both giggled. Warm brown eyes were glowing with her pregnancy, her soft tan hair pinned haphazardly back away from her slightly round features. The cook was going to have their second child within weeks, and she had already confessed several times that she was more than ready to hold what she was hoping was a little girl.

"Don't say such things, my love. Your opinion matters more to me than anyone else's. I was simply worried the lady would not like the content."

"Come now, Katsuhiro. Why wouldn't I like it? Perhaps I'm a little embarrassed to be so glorified, but I'm honored, too. I would be more worried about Kenshin's reaction."

Dark eyes widened, and he took a step back. "Do you think the master won't like it?"

Giggling again, Tae shaking her head with a sigh, Kaoru waved a hand in the air. "I'm just teasing, Katsu! Kenshin will love it."

"Silly man." Affectionately chiding, Tae pushed loose hairs back over his shoulder. Worried eyes transitioned easily into warmth as Katsu looked at his wife, and she smiled. "Why don't you show her the other painting now? I'm sure she will love it, too."

Perking up, Kaoru raised her brow line expectantly. "Oh? Did you finish the family portrait we sat for already?"

"Yes, my lady. I was hoping to run it by you first before presenting it to the master." Turning, he picked up a large scroll from the floor and then walked to an adjacent edge of the courtyard so that he could unroll it fully from his standing position. Excited, Kaoru watched eagerly.

As the scroll came all the way open she heard laughter outside of the shrine walls and then the light patter of feet. Holding in her grin, she studied the new painting and ignored the new presences coming up behind her. The portrait had been her father's idea, and after the initial suggestion, Kaoru found herself loving the man all the more for making it. Kenshin had really taken to the idea. Such a solid reminder that he was now part of a loving family meant a lot to him. The fact that her father had taken to calling Kenshin "son" as well meant more than she could ever put into words. Kenshin's reaction was always one of pride at the use of such a familiar title.

At the center of the portrait stood Kenshin, looking very much like the master he was, but also very much like the man she loved. Next to him was her father, looking a bit out of place in his new, fancy clothes but happy to be there none-the-less. Kaoru stood between them, looking better than she thought she should in a new kimono Kenshin had commissioned as a wedding present. It had been a late wedding present, since they had wed in a bit of a rush, but Kaoru had no complaints. She had wanted to rush the wedding just as much as he had.

The footsteps behind her were getting closer, their light thumps suggesting they were trying to be sneaky. Fighting her smile, she dropped her eyes to the bottom of the painting and pretended to frown. Waving a finger, she directed her question to Katsu as if unaware there was anyone else to hear her. "It's really good, too, Katsuhiro, but you seem to have made a mistake down here at the bottom." Katsu frowned and looked down the scroll as if searching for a mistake. Tae was hiding her grin behind a hand.

"Where, my lady?"

"Right there and there." Moving her finger to indicate not one but two mistakes, she finally met his gaze and winked, but he merely blinked in confusion. "There are two red-headed little imps standing in front of me that I know are not _my_ children. My boys are perfect little angels that would never think of ambushing their loving mother." Twisting skillfully, she made a grab for the two boys, hooking their small bodies carefully in the crook of her elbows and yanking them close. Shrieks of laughter and shouts of indignity echoed through the air, their struggling forms caring little for the escape they claimed to want. Tickling and laughing with them, Kaoru dropped to her knees and fell back on the walk as their weight overbalanced her. Carefully shielding their heads and letting them fall on top of her, she grinned back at their cheeky smiles.

"Mommy! That's no fair!"

"You _always _know we're here!"

"Of course I do, Kenji-chan. I'm your mother and I've got eyes in the back of my head." Grinning as they laughed at her claim, she switched her attention from Kenji to her youngest son and brushed the hair out of his eyes. They were only a little over a year apart, but Shinta was a touch small for his age. The handicap did not trouble him, however, and his warm golden eyes were lively and full of mischief. She suspected her oldest son was the reason her baby was now corrupted.

Kissing each on the crown, much to Kenji's faked horror, she released them to sit up. "And just what are you two up to? I hope you haven't been terrorizing Tokio-sensei." Lowering her voice to a whisper, she play mimicked a touch of fear. "You do know her husband is a brutish wolf of a man that might get you in your sleep." Shinta giggled, but Kenji snorted.

"He wouldn't dare. Dad would beat him up."

Lifting an eyebrow, Kaoru held in her laughter. "Well, I'm glad you have such faith in your father," Pursing her lips, she saw an opportunity to catch him off guard and used it. "but that doesn't give you an excuse to taunt anyone."

Kenji's face turned red. "How come you always know everything?"

"That's my secret to keep. Now, please explain why you were telling the youngest Saitou boy that your father could beat up his father?"

Defensive Kenji stood to his feet. "He started it, Mom! He kept going on and on about how strong and cool his dad is and how the city guard is so much better than the palace guard because his dad is running it and how _he_ doesn't need any more training because he's completely mastered fighting and…" Running out of things to say, his face flushed with agitation and the need to make her understand, Kenji pouted out his lip and Kaoru sighed. She understood now why Kenji was upset, and the scowl on Shinta's little features said he agreed.

"Alright, boys, it's time we had a little talk." Standing, she reached out both hands to collect theirs and threw a smile over her shoulder. "The paintings were wonderful, Katsuhiro. I know Kenshin will love them. Tae…" Shifting her attention, she narrowed her eyes. "Don't over do it. Suzume-chan and Ayame-chan can handle the kitchens. If necessary, Kenshin can help."

Both bowed their heads, and Kaoru took pleasure in the slight tinge of horror that curled Tae's brows. After living for so long, though, and becoming used to the roles of master and servant, it was easy to understand why the mere thought would be unnatural. Kaoru, however, found that seeing Kenshin in the kitchen was strangely relieving, though perhaps a bit infuriating since he was so good at it and she couldn't cook to save her life.

The idea had been his, and to say that Kaoru had been shocked was an understatement. After everything had settled down after the curse had broken, Kenshin had expressed his wish to her to make sure his people would be able to acclimate into this new time period. Deciding that leading by example was the best way to handle the transition, Kenshin had taken it upon himself to learn how to do something he never had to do before. Namely, take care of himself. It was a slow process, and it didn't always turn out well or end up changing anything significant, but the message was getting across. For now the master was still the master, but as time passed, the master would eventually be one of them. He would do his own chores, fetch his own things, run his own errands, and even cook his own meals. At the moment it was simply an impossibility since he was still very much handling most of everything, but the example was being set, and not just for his people.

Kaoru glanced down at her sons, smiling as they skipped along next to her. Kenshin was also setting an example for them. The children were going to be the ones that needed this transition the most. Knowing the history of their origins was good, but they could not live in it. They needed to know that in the time they had been born into, there were no such things as masters and servants. Kenji would have no power over the Saitou boys, just like they would have no power over him. Respect was still given where it was due, but it was earned and not a birthright.

A sudden mixture of pleasure and anxiety blossomed in her chest, but Kaoru no longer felt surprised by the occurrence. After six years of marriage the constant presence of the bond was very much a part of her daily life. They could only feel immediate emotions through it, and at a distance the sensation was muted. It was stronger when they were in closer proximity and at times it could be overwhelming when one or the other became beset by intense emotions. It was, however, surprisingly less insistent now than it had been in the beginning. They were not required to always be in the other's presence like they had originally thought, but it did get nervous if they were away from each other for too long. The anxiety she was now feeling was undoubtedly the bond wishing for reassurance. The pleasure, on the other hand, meant Kenshin was happy about something. Kaoru hoped that meant he was progressing well.

"Where are we going, Mommy?"

"I thought we would check on your father, and then we could talk."

As Kaoru and her two sons walked through the palace, she smiled at many of the other residents she passed. She knew everyone of them by name again and no longer felt surreal seeing all of the human faces. There was always a moment, however, just before she greeted them, when a picture of their animal forms would pop into her mind. It was easier, of course, to distinguish everyone now, but she liked remembering how they were before. Sometimes it made it easier to understand their personalities.

"Milady!" Kaoru recognized the voice before she even turned, and her smile widened as she watched Misao's petite form race up to them.

"Good afternoon, Misao-san. What's the hurry?"

Sighing in exasperation, Misao raked a hand through her hair. "It's that boy! I can't find him anywhere. Again! I swear he takes more and more after his father everyday!"

Giggling, Kaoru bit her lip. "Oh, I don't know. I think he takes after his mother."

Misao pouted out her lip angrily but didn't argue. Instead, aquamarine irises dropped to Kenji and Shinta. "Have you two seen my imp of a son? Did he even go to classes today?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Both chorused in unison, and Kaoru smiled at their courtesy. At least they were polite, which she knew they had picked up from their father and not her. Kenji went on to elaborate. "Seiichi-kun was in classes all day with us, Misao-san. Then he went with us back to the Saitou house to see Tatsuo-kun's little sister. Tokio-sensei let me hold her." Large blue eyes left Misao to look up at his mother. "Can I have a little sister, too, Mom?"

Kaoru blinked, surprised by the question. When Shinta began nodding his little head enthusiastically she looked to Misao to share in her disbelief. Misao, though, was grinning that toothy weasel grin of hers. It was the same grin she had worn the morning she had caught Kaoru sneaking out of Kenshin's pavilion after the curse had broken. Not one teasing word had been spoken to her, but no teasing had been needed. Kaoru had turned ten shades of red and then tried to stutter an explanation that Misao did not let her finish. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out what had happened, and when Kenshin had unexpectedly announced their wedding was to be held that day, Misao had said there was no harm done. The only reprimand Kaoru had received from the weasel-girl was how inappropriate it was for her to be sneaking into the master's pavilion. It was the man's duty to come to her pavilion, not the other way around.

Misao's toothy grin stayed in place as she held Kaoru's gaze, but her next statement was directed at Kenji. "Why don't you ask your father instead, Kenji-chan? He's the one you need to convince." To both women's astonishment, Kenji disagreed without hesitation.

"That's not true, Misao-san. I know how this works. Mom has the baby, not Dad."

"You mean I shouldn't have asked Dad?" Shinta's small voice spoke up from Kaoru's other side, his voice crestfallen.

"Of course not. Dad doesn't have anything to do with it." Kenji sneered at his younger brother, to which Shinta frowned.

"But Dad said he'd think about it. If he couldn't do something he'd tell me. Daddy doesn't lie."

"He just didn't want to upset you because you're still a baby. I bet if I asked him he'd tell me the truth."

"I'm not a baby!"

"Yes you are. You can't even wear my old clothes yet."

"Alright, that's enough." Kneeling between them, Kaoru gave them that look that said the fight was over, or else. "Kenji, you shouldn't tease your brother about his size. Your father was always small for his age, too."

"Yeah, I know. You told me." Grudgingly agreeing, Kenji set his little face and looked away.

Sighing at the attitude her son was picking up, Kaoru switched her attention to the younger one. "Shinta, your father wasn't lying to you. Don't you ever think he would. He has just as much right as I do to decide if we have another baby or not."

"But…" Still protesting, Kenji didn't understand how his father could have anything to do with it. "Tokio-sensei carried her baby the whole time. Saitou-san never helped her."

"I'm sure he did, Kenji. Saitou-san loves his wife."

"Tokio-sensei's my teacher, Mom. I saw her every day in class. The baby was there the whole time. I never saw that wolf monster walking around with a large belly."

Misao burst into laughter, and Kaoru bit her lip, one hand covering her mouth as she tried to stale her own delighted giggles. "Alright, Kenji, you got me there. The woman does carry the baby the whole time, but that doesn't mean she has the entire say on when she gets pregnant. The mother and father have to talk it out first."

"Why?"

"Look, Kenji-chan, it's kind of like the meetings your father has every day." Misao spoke up to help, her voice still highly amused. "One person can make a suggestion, but unless both your father and the other agree on it then the suggestion doesn't happen, no matter who made it. Even if your mother wants a baby, she can't have one unless your father agrees. Nor can your father decide to have a baby without your mother agreeing."

"So they just need to have a meeting?"

Misao's weasel grin was back. "Something like that."

"Then why did you say I needed to convince Father?"

Kaoru's features twitched on a frown and her hand absently plucked at the collar of her kimono. The weight of a necklace underneath lifted briefly away from her skin before knocking softly back against her sternum. Smiling sadly, Kaoru patted both of her sons on the head. "Because your father is perfectly happy with the two sons he has." As Kaoru stood she shared an understanding look with Misao, her own small hand plucking at something underneath the bicep of her kimono sleeve. Then again, Misao had more cause to be sad than Kaoru. Megumi had firmly demanded that Misao never try to have another child. Her small frame just couldn't handle the strain.

"Anyway, Kenji-chan, you were telling Misao-san about her son. When did you last see Seiichi-chan?"

"Shinta and I headed back here after playing with the baby, but Seiichi-kun wanted to go with Tatsuo-kun to visit Eiji-san at the city barracks. I wanted to see Eiji-san too, but I didn't want to go with Tatsuo-kun. He just kept bragging about his family and his dad."

Misao sighed. "Well at least I know he's somewhere he can't get into trouble. Saitou knows how to keep those boys in line." Smiling, Misao switched topics. "It's great that Eiji-chan is in the city guard now. I bet Saitou and Tokio are proud."

"Oh they are." Laughing, Kaoru nodded. "Saitou's way of bragging is different, of course, but it was still there. I thought Kenshin was going to break a tooth; his jaw was grinding so hard. Those two really love getting on each other's nerves."

"They're just competitive. Wait until Kenji-chan and Shinta-chan get older. Lord Kenshin will get so puffed up nobody will be able to stand him. He's already too proud."

"I don't think there is such a thing as being too proud of your children, Misao-san." Grinning down at her boys as they listened to the conversation, warmth blossomed in her heart when they grinned back.

"I know. Anyway, Milady, are you ready for the wedding next week? I mean, did you get the present made for Tsubame-chan?"

"Yes I did." Glancing down at the boys and warning Misao of their ears, Kaoru continued smoothly. "I gave it to her last month, so everything should be fine. I'm glad they both agreed. I really didn't want them getting married until after Yahiko was an instructor under my father, but they've already waited such a long time. It felt unfair to make them wait until now when everyone else was married within months after the curse was broken."

"It was a good thing, Milady, so do not feel bad. The Lord had as much of a hand in it as you did. Besides, they were both aware they needed to allow their bodies to mature before they could get married. Neither of them minded waiting."

"I know. It's just…"

Misao's teasing grin pulled her lips back. "Just because _you _couldn't wait, Milady, doesn't mean the rest of us don't have any control."

"Misao, really! Will you ever let that go?"

"Nope."

"I told you there were other circumstances."

"Doesn't matter."

"Couldn't wait for what?" This time it was Shinta who questioned, and Kaoru glared at Misao.

"To marry your father, Shinta-chan. Your mommy loves your daddy so much, she just couldn't wait."

"What's wrong with that?" Confused, Shinta blinked his warm golden eyes up at them.

Misao smiled at Kaoru and shook her head. "Absolutely nothing, Shinta-chan." Taking a step back, Misao waved a hand. "I'll see you three later. I need to go track down my little hellion before he gets himself into any trouble." Sighing, she shook her head and mumbled as she walked off. "That boy's going to be in for it once Aoshi-sama gets back from patrol."

As Misao walked away Kaoru turned her boys back towards the opposite direction. "Alright you two, let's go see your father." The nervous anxiety in her chest was slowly tightening, and the pleasure she could feel from Kenshin was dulling in response. He was getting anxious too, but he couldn't leave to find her. Not with that brute of a man he was with in charge of his time.

"Mommy, what _did_ you get for Tsubame-san?"

"A cute little anklet to wear made out of those special stones from the mine."

"Just like your necklace?"

"Yes, baby. Just like my necklace."

Smiling absently, Kaoru's mind went back to the sad look on Misao's face as she had played with the arm bracelet Kaoru had made for her. Most of the women living at the palace and in the city now wore some form of Kaoru's special jewelry. For many of them it was simply convenient to have, but for a few like Misao, it was necessary.

Kaoru herself belonged to a third party who wore it for convenience and peace of mind. It wasn't necessary for her health to keep it on for the rest of her life, but Kenshin seemed to think so. Since Kenji's birth had been a little too difficult, Kenshin had become determined to never allow her to risk herself again. It didn't matter, though, how careful they were afterwards, because it was only a little over a year later that Shinta had come into their life. Shinta's birth had been considerably easier; there were no complications and the labor had barely lasted three hours. This was no excuse in Kenshin's mind, though. He had been a nervous wreck the entire pregnancy, and the fight that had ensued after she had informed him they had conceived another child was epic. A fight that had ended with his firm announcement that after Shinta they would have no more children and that was final.

It wasn't that Kaoru particularly wanted a lot of children, or that she was unhappy with the two she had. What upset her was the way Kenshin took the decision completely away from her. No matter what she said, no matter how she argued, he would hear none of it. It was the only subject that was ever brought up between the two of them that they could not talk through, and it hurt that he would act as if what she thought had no bearing. So after several days of his foreign attitude and her tears, Kaoru had finally decided to find a compromise.

After the curse had broken and she began to feel her own magic freely, Kaoru had begun the arduous process of learning how to control it. After a few months, Koshijirou had suggested visiting Shinsaki. That was where her family had originated from, and there were more than likely a few members still left that knew how to use magic. After the three boys confirmed the notion, Kenshin and Kaoru had gone to visit. Upon arriving they were warmly welcomed, everyone in awe over the palace lord, and then quickly introduced to everyone. By the time they were ready to leave, since they couldn't stay too long with a palace still to run, quite a few of the residents had decided to go with them and visit the legendary palace.

For many, the visit turned into a stay, and then the stay turned into taking up permanent residence. With their presence came stories and knowledge of her heritage as well as books. More books than she thought she could ever read. Slowly over time she began to learn control over her power, enough so that she could start teaching those who could not. Now, with many of the older students training under her father, and the younger ones training under her, Kaoru had enough magic users to actually start a school. It was a requirement, for those who were able, to train their body as well as their mind. So, many of the students learned Kamiya Kasshin-ryu during the morning, and magic during the afternoon. It was a good system that many of the students enjoyed.

After their fight, however, Kaoru had turned her attention towards a very specific field of study: reproduction. It had been mentioned before, since the population had jumped considerably nine months after the curse had broken, but with her magic still new to her Kaoru had not thought herself able to help at that time. With her own desperation to remove the shadows from her husband's eyes, however, her motivation became personal. Working with Megumi and her knowledge of the human body, Kaoru had soon produced a safe and gentle form of birth control to disperse to the women.

With the special stones brought from the mines, which were only special because they so easily soaked in and retained magic, Kaoru developed her first useful product of magic. It was easiest to shape them into jewelry so the women could wear them at all times, and Kaoru commissioned different types to be made so they could have a choice of style. This kept the jeweler busy for many months, but since it freely advertised his skills he had no qualms with the work. Kaoru's own necklace was the prototype, and to Kenshin's relief she had cast the magic perfectly on her first attempt.

Now, a few years later, Kaoru held no grudge against him for simply worrying himself into a state of near insanity, because she knew he only acted as he did because he loved her. Over the last few years she had even begun to feel less sorrow over her absence of an option for more children. Her two boys were a blessing, and her husband a true miracle. It was only on that one subject that he became uncompromising, and she would not ruin their life together by withholding forgiveness for his one touchy issue. In every other way he was a wonderful husband, father, and lover and she loved him enough to hold onto her original wish for his happiness.

This new situation, however, was going to be tricky. The boys were probably only interested in having a baby sister because their friend had one, and so the want would soon pass. During that time, though, she would follow Kenshin's lead. She knew he wouldn't agree to another child, and so she wouldn't even bring it up. They were past those horrible nights of misery and wretchedness; of watching him fight his own tears because she couldn't stop. The bond they shared was cruel in that way, even as it was wonderful. This time, whatever he told their sons she would simply agree to.

"Is Dad still in the training hall, Mom?"

"He should be, sweetheart. That's where we're going."

Kenji pouted. "I don't want to."

"Oh? Is there a reason why not?" Sensing the heart of the problem from earlier, Kaoru encouraged him to explain.

"Because it's shameful."

"Shameful?" Kaoru's eyebrows shot up and she looked down at her eldest son. "What's shameful about your father training, Kenji?"

"Because… because he shouldn't have to. Saitou-san doesn't have to and neither does Soujirou-san. Even Yahiko-san has almost completely mastered the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu under Grandfather and he's way younger than Dad. Why does Dad still have to be trained?"

Kaoru sighed, and her hand let go of his to curve around the back of his skull instead. "Because your father is trying to better himself. It's not because he is weak, but because he senses he can be stronger than he already is. He needs this, Kenji. Perhaps one day you will understand."

Still pouting, Kenji lowered his chin and jutted out his jaw. "I don't like that man training him."

"Hiko-sama? What's wrong with him?"

"He treats Father like a child."

Kaoru laughed. "Yes, but that's just his way. I think he actually really likes your father."

"I like Hiko-sama, Mommy. He tells funny stories." Shinta piped up, wanting to enter the conversation and Kaoru turned her smile on him.

"Me, too. I think he's alright. He's just a bit gruff, that's all."

"He shouldn't be so disrespectful towards Dad, though. Dad _is _letting him stay here, after all."

"And Hiko-sama is earning that stay. Really, Kenji, what has gotten into you?"

"Dad's stronger than he is! I saw him beat that old man several times! So why does he need to train with him when he's weaker?"

"Because Hiko-sama is the only other person we are aware of that knows the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu. We're lucky Soujirou-kun ran across him on his travels and was able to recognize the style he practiced." _And even luckier he was able to convince him to come to the palace._ "Your father may be stronger than Hiko-sama in some ways, but in others he is weaker. This training is helping him discover those weaknesses."

As she spoke they stopped next to the open shoji of the training hall, the harsh clash of swords echoing from within. Slowly their eyes adjusted to the shade of inside, and Kaoru's smile turned to one of pride. What she could not explain to her children was that Kenshin needed this to help him come to terms with the rest of his past. The style his father had taught to him was not Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu in its purest form, but a tainted version that withheld its true strength from the wielder. Apparently whoever had taught the style to Himura Izo had felt shame for his student and left before teaching him everything. This teacher had gone on to pass the true style to another student worthy of its power. This student was Hiko's predecessor several times removed.

When Hiko had first arrived at the palace and been introduced to Kenshin his reaction had been less than welcoming or believing. Nobody else alive should even know of the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu, especially such a young boy. He had agreed, however, to test him and see for himself. The first moment Kenshin had drawn his sword, however, was the first moment Kaoru could tell Hiko's opinion had changed. The sword Kenshin had bared against him was not a normal sword. Kenshin's sword had a reversed-blade that allowed him to protect without taking life.

Ever since the fight Kaoru had missed between Kenshin and Enishi and the aftermath of compassion and shared grief, Kenshin had changed. This change was different than the way Kaoru had helped him change. Kaoru had encouraged him to live by a different code, but Enishi had forced him to make a decision. In the face of despair and rage he had made his choice and made it not for revenge, but for forgiveness and life. Kenshin wanted to protect everyone in everyway he was able to. To do that he needed a weapon he could fight with that allowed him to use his fighting style without the repercussion of death. As soon as everything was up and running smoothly again, Kenshin had made a request to his blacksmith. A request he now trained with everyday.

Briefly Kaoru's thoughts lingered on Enishi and sorrow penetrated her heart. She had not seen him since the day of the invasion upon the palace, and according to everyone he had left thinking himself her murderer. Kenshin had shared, though reluctantly, Enishi's last words with her, and Kaoru too felt compassion for a man she had thought incapable of love or kindness. Her only consolation since that day had come from Yutarou.

Yutarou, like Soujirou, had decided to travel around the country and see how the terrain and life had changed. A few others had also opted to do this, and every half-year they would return to share their findings with the others. It was another way for their secluded palace to begin blending in with the time. In fact, these outings had influenced much of the clothing and hairstyles most of them had converted to. It was on one of those trips that Soujirou had come across Hiko. It was also on one of those trips that Yutarou had found Enishi.

The last time Yutarou had come back home he had informed them of his find. Enishi was living in a small village, far up north where the winter was harsher. He didn't approach him, but observed him instead; mostly out of curiosity Yutarou had admitted. Kaoru could tell as Yutarou had spoken that there was still a trace of bitterness in his tone for the man that had caused the deaths of many of his comrades. It did not overshadow his compassion, however, and Kaoru was grateful when he had finished his story with a slight touch of relief. This relief was not for the pitiful way the man was now living, nor the sad way Enishi conducted his business with an air of carelessness about his own safety or health. Rather, this relief was for the woman Yutarou had discovered was looking out for Enishi; a nice woman with a large heart and a patient demeanor.

Smiling, Kaoru squeezed the small hands curled around her own. Perhaps one day she would send a message to Enishi, inviting him to visit, or simply telling him that she was fine. She hoped he eventually found peace and, with a bit of luck, love as well. Right now he was just like Kenshin had been when she had first arrived at the palace; wounded, leery, and disgusted with himself. Kaoru really hoped Enishi found a better place to be in his soul, just like Kenshin had.

For a moment the two training in the hall broke apart, the sound stilling, and Kaoru blinked as Kenshin shot a glance in their direction. There was a furrow of worry on his brow, and she realized he could feel the sorrow she felt towards Enishi. Smiling and forcing herself to think of happier times, she lifted a hand to acknowledge him as Shinta waved his arm enthusiastically to get his attention. Hesitantly he smiled back, amused with his son, but he was left no room for contemplation as Hiko attacked him again.

Hiko was a large brute of a man, with stern features, wide shoulders, and a booming voice. Long black hair was tied at the back of his neck, his dark eyes were calculating while he trained, but it was his strength that was frightening. Next to him Kenshin looked smaller than ever; as if he were a child training with an adult. Of course, what Kenji had said was true. No matter how strong Hiko looked or how puny Kenshin seemed in comparison, Kenshin could overpower Hiko. It was a strange balance of force when they were in the training hall together.

"That will be enough for today!"

Hiko called a stop to the training, and Kenshin halted to sheath his katana. Bowing his head to show his respect, the action was proven meaningless when Hiko simply turned and walked out. Trying to hide her amusement, Kaoru bowed her head as Hiko passed them as well. Instead of lowering her eyes, however, she glanced up at the large man and spoke.

"Is he meeting your expectations, Hiko-sama?"

Grunting, Hiko paused to consider her and the two children. "He's decent enough, but the boy still has a long way to go. He's too easily distracted by his pretty wife."

Kaoru giggled. "I'll take that as a compliment. But perhaps I should take a day to sit and watch and help break him of his distraction?"

"Don't be silly, woman. Wives are supposed to be distracting." Dark eyes dropped to the boys without preamble and he grunted again. "Are you boys behaving yourselves?"

"Yes, sir!" Shinta's reply was enthusiastic, anticipating a reward. Kenji's response was surlier. "Yes, sir."

"That's a lie. Boys never behave themselves."

"Now, Hiko-sama, don't be harsh." Chiding, Kaoru fought a smile.

"Be gone you tyrant." Kenshin was closer to them now, his voice only mostly annoyed as he wiped sweat from his neck with a towel. "Leave the discipline of my sons to me."

"Fine. I could use a drink anyway."

"Don't harass Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan too much, Hiko-sama! The cooking alcohol is for cooking only! Tae-san will be angry if she finds out you've raided the kitchen again!" Calling after him as he walked away, Kaoru giggled when he grunted a third time but hunched his shoulders as if caught.

"The drunk is worse than Sano used to be." Dropping the towel to the floor, Kenshin grinned as his sons attacked him. "Careful, your old man's tired!" Bracing a hand against Shinta's back as he jumped and latched himself to his father's leg, Kenshin quickly caught Kenji's arm next as he tried to climb his back and attach himself to his neck. "You boys are getting heavy. You'll be too big for this pretty soon." There was amusement in his voice and his features were smiling, but there was also sadness in the bond and it tugged at Kaoru's heart. _And he was so afraid of being a bad father._

"All the more reason to get it out of their systems now." Kenji grinned at his mother over Kenshin's shoulder, and she smiled back as she leaned forward to kiss her husband's cheek. "Did something good happen, anata? You were happy earlier."

"Perhaps." His grin said otherwise and she waited for him to elaborate. "I got the chance to knock Hiko-sama on his backside. It was very… gratifying."

Laughing, Kaoru helped Kenji down when he squirmed. "I see."

"What about you, koishii?" With one hand still bracing Shinta, Kenshin touched Kaoru's chin with the other, his brow furrowing again. "Something upset you. Are you alright?"

"Of course I am. I wasn't really upset, just wistful." Looking to change the subject, Kaoru smiled and brought up something else. "Katsu finished with the portrait. I can't wait for you to see it. It's really good."

Kenshin perked up, his hands gently disentangling Shinta from his thigh. "Is that right? I can't wait to see it myself."

"Mommy said we looked like red-headed imps." Shinta's innocent observation caused Kenshin to feign shock.

"We're red-headed? When did this happen?" Ruffling Shinta's hair as if searching for something suspicious, Kenshin transitioned smoothly into tickling. Squirming and squealing, Shinta tried to fend him off but failed utterly since he couldn't breathe. Seeing his brother was in danger, Kenji jumped on Kenshin's back again but was quickly scooped off by his mother. Plopping him down on the floor next to Shinta, she began her own tickle assault on him and soon both boys were squealing.

Letting up before it turned into torture, Kaoru sat back on her heels and stared at her beautiful family. Kenji and Shinta were both still giggling and trying to catch their breath, their mouth's split into wide grins of delight. Kenshin was ruffling Shinta's hair again, his chest heaving with laughter and his own grin the genetic origin of their sons. _Imps. The whole lot of them._ Happy, content, and full of love, she felt the bond shiver with her emotions and Kenshin turned his smile on her in response.

"Come here, koishii." Sitting back, he held out his arms and encouraged her to scoot closer until she was leaning against his chest. "You seem happy now." Dropping his voice to a teasing whisper, he sighed in contentment when she nodded. "Good. I'm glad you can be happy surrounded by red-headed imps."

"I wouldn't be happy if I wasn't."

"That's nice to hear."

Seeing that their parents were distracted, Kenji and Shinta quietly scooted back to put some distance between them. Whispering their own secretive conversation, they stood only when they were a safe distance away for Kenji to holler. "Hey Dad! We want a baby sister! So have a meeting with Mom!" Twisting to run after Shinta who was already to the open shoji, Kenji waved his arm over his head and yelled. "We're going over to play at Sano-san's!"

Blinking and digesting what his son had just said to him, Kenshin's eyebrows shot up. "Have a meeting? What's that supposed to mean?"

The happiness and joy in his chest disappeared abruptly and his violet eyes dropped sharply to Kaoru. She was pushing herself away from him and the bond was nervous between them, her anxiety trembling against his heart. "It's a long story, but Misao and I were trying to get him to understand that mothers don't have sole decision making over when they have a baby. He seemed pretty sure that fathers have nothing to do with that part. So Misao told him it's like having a meeting and coming to a consensus. I guess it made sense to him." She shrugged her shoulders but didn't look at him. No longer leaning into him, she sat between his knees instead, her fingers playing with her kimono.

"…Kaoru…"

"They only want a sister because Tatsuo-chan has one now. It won't take them long to get over it." Talking quickly to make him understand, a part of her feared he might think she had planted the idea in their minds. Kaoru would never do that to him. Tentatively lifting sapphire irises, she looked up at him through her bangs to see his reaction. "I promise I won't argue this time."

Cupping her face in his hands he leaned his forehead into hers, their eyes closing. At times like these the bond made their interactions difficult, simply because he couldn't figure out what he was feeling and what she was feeling. There was hardly any distinction between the two, and at times he would find himself reacting to her emotions as if they were his own. It made for strange fights sometimes, because they would start out on different sides and end up switching halfway through so that whatever he had started out arguing for he ended up arguing against. It was the same with her, and depending on the severity of the argument, they would almost always end up laughing and forgetting it completely. There were a few situations, however, that could not be handled like that.

This was one of those situations and he had learned that as long as he kept them both calm they could usually work it out without fear of losing their own feelings. Taking a deep breath, he feathered his fingers out to span her neck and cheeks. "I am well aware of where their curiosity has come from, Kaoru." Her eyes blinked open and he held her gaze. "Shinta came to me a week ago asking for a baby sister like Tatsuo-chan's. I didn't know what to say to him because it's not a subject I have wanted to think about." He paused. "I hurt you with this subject." Violet eyes squeezed shut and he sat back, her fingers circling his wrist to keep the contact they shared. "I know it was unfair of me and I know I was being irrational but Kaoru… all I could think about was what happened to my mother."

"What?" Shocked, Kaoru sat up straighter, her fingers tightening around his wrists. This had never come up in their fights before.

"My mother had at least five miscarriages. It damaged her beyond repair, until the last one finally killed her." Pain was beating against her heart like a hammer, the vise grip of the bond so tight it was hard to breathe. When violet eyes opened again, that pain was reflected in them. "My father did that to her. She died because of what my father did to her."

How could she have forgotten something like that? Misao had told her, a long time ago, just what had happened to Kinuko, but Kaoru had somehow filed it away differently. Kaoru's own mother had died of sickness, and Kinuko had died because her body was weak. The only part of the situation that had truly registered was that both Kenshin and she had lost their mothers to some form of wasting away. Kenshin saw the entire situation differently, because he had been there and it was his mother. Kinuko did not just get sick and die, leaving him behind. Kinuko's body was repeatedly abused by pregnancies she did not have the strength to carry full term. In Kenshin's mind his father was the direct result of his mother's death. This meant…

"I just don't want to be responsible for doing the same thing to you."

"Oh, Kenshin." Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, she squeezed herself against him, the remaining trace of sorrow from their fights disappearing. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I didn't think it would make a difference. You were so angry with me, and I knew you had every right to be. I just wanted to protect you, but I was only hurting you instead."

"Of course it makes a difference, because it allows me to understand your reasoning better."

"But Kaoru… I know you're not my mother. You're so much stronger than she was."

"Yes that's right and Kenshin…" Sitting back it was her turn to cup his face in her hands. "You're not your father, either. You're so much stronger than him."

Sighing, Kenshin dropped his forehead against hers and the bond was suddenly nervous again, only this time it was from him. "That's why I've been thinking… it was wrong of me to take the decision completely away from you. If you want to… we may… discuss the matter further."

Kaoru blinked, suddenly suspicious as certain details came together in her mind, and her lips pursed. "You're not just saying this now because Shinta asked you for a baby sister, are you?"

Brows furrowing heavily, Kenshin pulled back. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. You only started giving this some real thought after Shinta asked you about a week ago, right?" When he opened his mouth to deny her claim, she rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Kenshin, did you think I wouldn't notice? You've been playing with my necklace after our lovemaking all week."

"Just what are you trying to say, that I spoil Shinta too much?"

"Perhaps." Grinning, she pinched his nose and he huffed in disbelief.

"This coming from the mother that spoils Kenji when she thinks I won't notice."

Feigning shock, Kaoru's eyes widened. "I would never!"

Kenshin laughed, the seriousness in his eyes lightened by amusement. "Alright, koishii, perhaps Shinta's inquiry did encourage me to give it some thought, but that's all. These conclusions have been bothering me for awhile, and this new situation simply gave me an excuse to bring it back up without hurting you unnecessarily."

"You don't have to worry about talking to me Kenshin. I'm glad you told me, and … thank you. Thank you so much." Planting a gentle kiss on his lips, she felt the bond tremble as it released their anxiety and fear. When she pulled back his eyes had darkened, and she dropped her hands to his chest as he shifted his weight. Lifting himself off his haunches, he tilted her head back and initiated a second kiss. This kiss was deeper, warming the bond with heated emotions. Gratefully rising with him on the updraft, her hands slid over his chest, dragging over the collar of his training clothes and skimming skin. Gasping into her mouth as a shiver raced outward from the origin of her touch he pulled her closer and she inwardly grinned. After transforming back into a human the absence of his scales had left him super sensitive.

From the door someone cleared their throat and Kaoru jerked back in horror. "Am I interrupting something?" Face flaming in embarrassment, she darted a look at their unwanted audience and shook her head desperately. Sano laughed at her reaction and stepped into the training hall. Tall and lanky, he was a handsome man with warm brown eyes and hair that stood up at odd angles. He had an amiable air about him as a human, and Kaoru liked that.

Irritation and frustration jerked at the bond, distracting her from her thoughts, and Kaoru shot her eyes back to Kenshin. Growling, eyes narrowed, Kenshin stood, his hands lifting her up with him. "As a matter of fact, Sanosuke, you are interrupting." Yelping as he swept her up off the floor, she held on desperately as he stomped past the taller man. "Whatever it is you wanted will either have to wait or be taken care of by someone else. Right now my wife is in need of my attention."

Failing to hide his snort of laughter, Sano mock saluted. "Yes, sir. When will be the earliest available time to approach you later?"

"Hmm…" Pausing in the doorway, mischievous violet eyes darted a questioning look at Kaoru. "Tomorrow?" Both of her eyebrows shot up in disbelief and he grinned before throwing his decision absently over a shoulder. "Better make that the day after tomorrow. My wife thinks I've been working too much lately."

"What? No I don't…"

Ignoring her, Kenshin started walking again. "Oh, and Sanosuke, my children have gone over to your place to play. Will you make sure they behave?"

As Kenshin disappeared Sano started to yell. "Hey! I thought I told you to keep those heathens away from my girls!"

Even as Kenshin continued down the veranda, Kaoru huffed in indignation. "He better not be calling _my_ boys heathens. It's those girls he better keep away from my sons!" Yelling her return demand over Kenshin's shoulder, she glared at Kenshin when he laughed. "And just what do you think you're doing anyway? You can't just take a day off without preparation. The palace still needs your direction on certain things."

"I thought you would be happy, koishii. Shouldn't a husband want to spontaneously spend time with his wife?"

Cheeks darkening, Kaoru pouted. "Well of course I'm happy, but that's not the point."

Sighing, Kenshin stopped to let her down. "Fine. I _have _been planning to take tomorrow off, Kaoru." Taking her hand, he led her the rest of the way to her pavilion. "I rarely get to spend an entire day with you or the boys. I thought we could spend a day down at the beach."

"Really?" Pleasantly surprised, Kaoru followed him through the tsumado into her rooms.

Chuckling, Kenshin closed the door behind them. "Yes really." Placing a hand at the small of her back, he encouraged her through the shoji and up into the inner room of her pavilion. "Tonight, however, I want to spend with my wife. So hurry and change into your training clothes. We are going down to the beach now."

"What? But what about the boys? And I need to pack, and I haven't had time to tell my students…"

"Relax, koishii, everything's been taken care of. The boys are staying with Sanosuke, and Misao-san has already packed for you. She's taking care of the rest now."

Shoulders relaxing as he took her immediate worries away, she grinned, allowing herself to be pleased with his surprise. "Ok, I'll be quick."

Kenshin stood by the doorway as she began gathering her clothes to change into. His red hair stood out next to the screen paintings surrounding him, the softer tints of color on the rice paper gentle. The Lady's pavilion was no longer the way it had been for a thousand years, and although Kaoru had been reluctant to change it, Kenshin had insisted. Kaoru was the new lady, it was no longer his mother's rooms, and so Kenshin had Katsu change the theme within. After a few discussions the inside was now painted with scenes of mountains, cheery trees, and clouds. It calmed Kaoru, and she liked to think the clouds helped her dream about those moments Kenshin had taken her flying. Since Kenshin slept in there, too, he had admitted to more than one dream of flying with her as well.

No longer embarrassed or modest in front of her husband, Kaoru began stripping herself of her kimono. With her underclothes in place he would be seeing less than he was used to anyway. Her back was to him when she shook out her training gi and slipped it over her arms, so he missed her grin when his hand touched lightly on one side of her neck. Unconsciously leaning into the touch, her brow furrowed when she felt the polished stone of her necklace slide up along her sternum.

Questioning sapphire eyes looked over her shoulder at him, wondering at his intentions. His expression was fighting between determination and anxiety, telling her what he wanted and what he feared. Kenshin was trying to make amends for his actions and yet he was not completely convinced it was something he could deal with. Kaoru understood that it was going to take some time, but it seemed Kenshin was unable to deal with his lingering indecision. Placing her hand gently over the necklace she smiled at him reassuringly.

"Kenshin, I don't need you to do anything else just because you feel guilty. Just knowing you are willing to talk about it is enough for me right now. I know you're not comfortable with the idea yet, so I want to take it slow. Okay?" Shakily he sighed, his fingers slipping from the chain to her bare shoulder before he nodded. "Even if we decide not to have anymore children, or if we decide to have five more I'll be happy Kenshin, because we'll be deciding together."

Gently his arms wrapped around her, pinning her half-covered arms to her sides and cuddling her into his chest. When he spoke his voice was soft in his confession. "I do want a little girl." He paused, his nose nuzzling into her neck. "I want her to be just as beautiful and loving and strong as her mother, and though I love my red-headed boys, it would be great if we had a child that looked like you instead."

Smiling happily, Kaoru turned to face him. "With violet eyes."

"Hmm?"

"If we do have a daughter, I think it would be nice if she had dark hair and violet eyes. Kenji has my eyes, and Shinta's are like your brother's. If we have another child, I want that child to have your eyes." As she smiled up at him she watched his expression catch between amusement and happiness with her statements and wariness and anxiety that they were discussing it at all. Shrugging her training gi on the rest of the way, she backed out of his embrace to finish dressing. "We can talk about that later though. Right now we need to hurry or we won't get down the mountain before sundown, and I'm really excited about having my husband all to myself tonight." Jumping into her hakama, she grinned at him expectantly as his mood relaxed. "Are you going to cook for me when we get there?"

Laughing, he took the tie out of her hands and finished knotting it himself. "Yes, my spoiled little wife, I'm going to cook for you. In return, though, you have to help me bathe _and_ tuck me in."

A burst of loud laughter shot from her mouth and she pinched his cheek, much to his chagrin. "Idiot. I knew you were jealous of the boys. Would you like me to dress you as well?"

"I was thinking more of undressing…" His grin turned just slightly wicked.

Planting her hands on her hips as her body reacted suddenly to the bond, she pouted. "Don't do that. We need to get going."

Giving her an innocent look, he grabbed her hand and led her back out the door again. "What do you mean koishii? I just want you to be prepared. And just who do you think has organized this outing, anyway?"

"Yes, yes, but you are so easily distracted by your pretty little wife."

"Says who?

"Hiko-sama." Giggling when he rolled his eyes, Kaoru followed him out to the main courtyard in front of the master's pavilion. There waited three horses, two of them without a rider while the third held their reins. Glad that Kenshin had been giving her lessons, she swung up into the saddle of one without hesitation. When Kenshin was settled he nodded at the third rider and they began an easy walk out of the courtyard. To Kaoru's surprise, however, they did not turn down the mountain but back up it.

Frowning, she realized that they were also minus any packs. Throwing a glance at Kenshin, her frown deepened when he merely smiled. "Where are we going? And I thought you said Misao-san packed for me."

"She did. I sent our baggage out earlier, ours and the boys' that way they can join us early in the morning."

"And?"

"And what, koishii?" Acting maddeningly nonchalant, Kenshin looked away to hide his amusement.

"Where are we going?"

"That, Kaoru, is a surprise."

"I'll be surprised, alright, if we make it to the beach before nightfall." Muttering under her breath, Kaoru focused back on the trail ahead of her, causing Kenshin to smother a chuckle.

It was coming evening when they finally topped the rise Kenshin wanted and Kaoru was firmly confused and just a bit irritated. She had been promised the beach, her husband, and seclusion and so far she wasn't seeing how she would get all three at once. Fighting off disappointment, she pouted. It wasn't fair or nice of Kenshin to say such things and then not deliver. Even if they had just resolved a long standing issue, she was not going to let him get away with this. Such a tease called for severe punishment.

Turning a grin of expectance and boyish excitement on Kaoru, Kenshin's smile widened when she returned the look with a glare. Reining in his horse and swinging down from the saddle, he quickly helped Kaoru down and then pulled her toward the bend in the ridgeline. They were high up the mountain now, and below were the palace city, the forest, and the ocean. It was a beautiful sight with the sun still a couple hours from the horizon, and Kaoru would have enjoyed it otherwise, but she really wanted to be at the bottom at that moment, not the top. When they rounded the corner of the cliff face, however, her mind forgot her petulance and she blinked in confusion instead.

Lined along the ridge were several people, one of which was Katsu, and she couldn't figure out why he would be there. He was chatting animatedly with a few others who were holding the strangest contraption she had ever seen. It was constructed of small poles and an odd fabric. The fabric was stretched between several of the smaller poles, and as she stared at its shape she vaguely realized that it looked like spread wings. Blinking her eyes dropped to study the poles attached to the large span of fabric above it. Here the poles came together from four different areas of the shaped fabric; two from either tip of the wings, two outwards from the front tip of the spine, and two from the back of the spine. Between the four poles coming from the spine were more poles to help it keep its shape and keep it braced together. Blinking in amazement, she looked at Kenshin and her heart jumped when he grinned.

"I've had Katsuhiro working on this for some time now. It's been thoroughly tested and it's safe, or as safe as it can be. I know how much you enjoyed flying…"

"It works?" Breathless, Kaoru shot her eyes back to the strange contraption. "It flies?"

"Well… it glides. It's not really flying, but it's similar. At least we can enjoy it together." Pulling her closer, he showed her the framework. "This one is sturdy enough for two people. It can take us all the way down the mountain."

"We're going now?" Excited, Kaoru actually bounced, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes, Kaoru. I told you we were going to the beach, and that is where we will go. I thought we might start it out right and take our first flight together in six years."

"Well what are we waiting for? How does this thing work?"

Katsu outlined the basics for her, but Kenshin would be the one truly in control of the glider. After explaining what she needed to do to keep from interfering with Kenshin, they were soon ready with the front grip in hand and their feet poised to run the few steps to the ledge. Grinning like a fool, Kaoru took in the scenery below her, above her, the glider, and finally Kenshin over her shoulder when he planted a soft kiss in her hair.

"You were right, Kenshin."

"Hmm? About what?"

"It's been just like flying. All the excitement and energy, laughter and love, turns and flips and beauty, even fear… our life together has been just like flying. Just like you told me. I'm so glad I was able to follow your voice and come back."

"So you _could _hear me." Releasing one hand to hug her tight into his chest, he closed his eyes and took one deep breath. "I'm glad, Kaoru, that the promise I made to you has been true. I'm only sorry I can't really take you flying anymore."

"Are you kidding, Kenshin? This is going to be great!"

Releasing her with a laugh, Kenshin gripped the pole next to her hand again. "I'm glad you seem to like my surprise."

"I love it! This is the best surprise yet! Now hurry up! I want to go!"

"Very well, my eager wife." Urging her right foot forward, he grinned, remembering their first flight together. "Hold on tight… and don't close your eyes this time."

A few quick steps, a strong jolt, and they were in the air, the sail catching the wind and keeping them aloft. The air was cool, but the heat between them was warm, the bond they shared thrumming with joy and laughter and love.

The End

X

**Bonus: A Chance Encounter**

Himura Izo was not a man to show weakness. The way he spoke, the way he walked, the expression on his face were all meant to show strength and, depending on whom he was with, power and authority. In his current situation he kept a constant wall of all three. Rarely was he invited to the Emperor's Court, but while there he had to be on his guard. There were too many others looking for weaknesses for him to allow any that he might have to show.

The man walking leisurely next to him had little worry, it seemed, for allowing his weak characteristics to show. At first Izo had suspected it was because he had enough power or leverage over someone of importance that he need not care how he acted. It was the only reason Izo had requested a moment of the man's time to begin with. Now, three long hours later, and he was beginning to realize it was simply because the man had so little power he had nothing to lose. Becoming short in his answers and irritated with the man's constant rambling, Izo ground his teeth a bit harder. The first available moment he was given he would leave. The entire trip had been a waste. There was no one left with enough power to back him in his conquest that was willing to, and now this man was adding insult to injury by stalling his departure.

Trying to think of a better way to tell the man he could care less what his medical ailments were and if he did die soon he hoped it was within the next three minutes, Izo was glowering when they turned the next corner on the veranda. A combination of shrieks and gasps jerked him from his black musings, and sharp golden eyes looked up in time to catch sight of a young lady. Seated in the shade of a tree, surrounded by several ladies' maids who were the origin of all the surprised noises, she was petite, delicate, and stunning in her extravagant kimono. There was no trace of shock on her poised features, but her peculiar violet eyes were curious as she looked straight back at him. A few seconds later and one corner of her mouth tilted slightly up into a pleased smile.

The moment passed quickly as the maids surrounding her jumped up and spread their arms to shield their lady from sight. Blinking as the man next to him laughed and apologized, Izo was surprised to find the muscles in his face were lax and quickly tensed them back into a frown of displeasure. "What is that young lady doing out in the open? Does she not realize there are men conducting business here?"

"Sorry, Himura-sama, that was my fault. I did not warn my daughter. I daresay I was not expecting you to stay so long." Izo's jaw clenched tighter, resisting the urge to glare. It was the idiot's fault he was still there. "Kinuko has so few chances to relax outside that I hate to begrudge her even one. There are so many men vying for her affections that she usually stays inside her pavilion most days. Come along. Let us leave her to enjoy her surroundings while we talk elsewhere. Did you still wish to continue our conversation, or have you grown weary?"

Izo studied the man's expression and the tone of his voice. If it wasn't for how simple the man was Izo might have thought he had set up the entire encounter. His posture and his voice both said he spoke the truth, however, which meant Izo was never meant to see the lady. Unable to stop himself, he glanced over his shoulder and was surprised again by the violet eyes that were staring back. Leaning to one side, her dainty hand pulling back a maid's sleeve, she was watching him. She was young, but her actions were not the same as any other child. She did not blush, or simper, she simply stared with eyes open and appreciative.

Turning his attention back to the man next to him, Izo bowed his head, his terse voice trying for politeness. "Perhaps we may share some tea."

X

A/N: Oh so much to say! First of all, I hope everyone liked the last chapter. The boys were fun, writing a bunch of humans again was interesting, because I had to consciously think about them being humans and not animals anymore. The birth control jewelry was my own way of keeping the population from booming out of control. Seriously, these poor people have just spent the last thousand years as animals… babies are going to happen. Misao's situation was sad, but looking at Aoshi and then looking at her… having a baby has the possibility of becoming a problem. Kaoru's situation came about in a different way, but while I was writing I was like… yeah, Kenshin would probably not be too thrilled by difficult pregnancies since his mom died because of several. Of course, he'll have to realize that not everyone is going to have that problem. I tried to explain the bond, and then there's Hiko! Yay! Everyone was asking for him at the beginning of the story, so I thought of a place for him, and here he is. A brief appearance, but he's still there!

As for the last little bonus. Izo is supposed to be a bad guy. I've made that pretty clear all the way through the story. But even bad guy's have some humanity, which I gave a hint to when Kaoru got the chance to asked Kinuko if she was in love with her husband. It's fairly obvious that she is, but that gives us the question why? So I wanted to show a little of his humanity, and perhaps leave everyone feeling a little differently about him. He's still a bad man, a bad father, a bad master, and really probably a bad husband… but I think he loved Kinuko. Otherwise he would not have married her since he gained nothing but her in the marriage. If you didn't catch on, her father has nothing but a title that really gives him nothing but status above the common people. Anyway, I hope you liked the short encounter that started everything.

I'm really going to miss this story, but at the same time I am so glad that I have finished it. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me from beginning to end, to everyone who joined in the middle, and anyone reading this for the first time without having to wait for a post. I have appreciated all the criticism, raves, encouragement, and freak outs… you guys are so much fun! Hope to see you in another story… though I do plan on finishing A Mother's Love first. People have been hounding me. It needs revised pretty bad too. Alright, I'll quit stalling the goodbyes and ask for **one last review!** Thanks again. ~fin


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